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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well... That's a cliffhanger
I didnt know Lindsy Lohan's OC was a diamond dog.
Well so much for getting to sleep at a good hour.
who is them? The creatures that took Lero from Earth?
Oh shiiiit, this is serious. God, the thing with the diamond dog is like such a horrible, soup crushing to be waiting for. I can't imagine Lero was the first that the dog was sicked on. The gang deserves whatever is coming to em after that.
Whew that was... a doozie... damnit now I gotta wait for the next one. But it was interesting none the less. Honeydew honestly just needs the shit beaten out of her by Rarity. Nutcase that she is.
So I was like 'yeah, time for bed.' then I go to read a relaxing chapter but no. Divided rainbow has an update and because I have no self control I just have to read it. And oh look it's amazing, grabbing my attention and refusing to let go. It's also a cliffhanger so this will be all I can think of for the next couple of day. Thanks mike. Thanks a lot.
But seriously awesome. I really liked the reason for honeydews hatred of Lero.
...I want them dismembered... Reading this chapter made me want to see all those ponies be dismembered as painfully as possible. Here's hoping Twilight and Lyra will feel ready for a bit of strong telekinesis next chapter.
...Or, if Rarity is freed soon, I think a reenactement of Mr. Seven's fate is fine as well. Whichever is more painful.
Well, that was sickening. No, not the story, but the thought of what Lero is going through.... ugh!
Just one thing occurs to me about Twilight, Rainbow, etc, being outnumbered by the gang - one flame-delivered letter to Celestia would undoubtedly bring help to the Princess' favored student, and probably Celestia herself, not to mention a retinue of Royal Guards. Heck, I bet even Luna would want in on this! Honeydew has a point about how highly placed Lero is by now.
Wait, if Honey Dew bit Lero's face so hard that she drew blood doesn't that mean some of the diamond dog's saliva got into his bloodstream through the cuts on his face?
His nose was bleeding from falling, and his face was damaged from Honeybitch's rage... And sick dog's saliva over his face... Lero's blood is qlready infected. Poor guy, he'll have to spend years in hospital.
This was certainly a powerful chapter.
The only glaring problem I could find was that nobody ever decided on something as simple as sending a quick note to the princesses. Even if Ponyville has no constant guard presence other than constables like Lyra, it would have been mighty useful for the the family to know that if they don't make the rescue, reinforcements will rain down an hour or so later. This being specially critical once they had narrowed down Lero's and Rarity's location and were moving down to the rescue.
You know, despite Honeydew taking part in acts of kidnapping, unlawful imprisonment, assault, torture, forced humiliation, attempted murder and attempted rape against Lero and Rarity, I feel a little sorry for Honeydew as a part of her knows she is destroying her own happiness by these actions, but her refusal to let go of her hatred is forcing her to continue down this road.
This is the sort of situation where even a minigun gives too much warning, especially close up, and sniper rounds dont come in flechette versions as far as I know.
And, as usual, Dash goes in as Leroy Jenkins.
Dear Princess Celestia. Today I didnt learn yet again, that when one of the critical elements of the last line of defense of the realm is compromised by enemy action, that superiors are to be informed immediately, in case they just happen to have a squad nearby on excersizes.
Yeah, nope, I don't care one wit what head issues Honydew has, she and this entire gang need to be locked in straightjackets and tossed in a deep dark hole somewhere. NO amount of Freudian excuses can excuse this...
4712764
Correct. The Lady and those who are obedient to her.
4713060
I do what I can to keep it addictive!
4714856
Ha ha ha! Well put! Not even all the 'Fluttershy' in Dash's soul can stop her from going Leroy Jenkins!
Quite the dog and pony show you had here.
Wow... Just wow. That was intense and I read diaries of a madman. I loved the short moment of realization that dew had by the end she needs to see the truth because there is nothing worse than knowing what you have done and lost was all to hurt something that was never deserving the pain. Also what was up with Lero acting like Vegeta from team 4 star while being tortured.
4715883
Yeah but now I'm tearing tickets at the movie theater and all I can think about is 'fiddling' and 'diddling'. Thanks Mike.
4715907
...How did I not see that pun coming?
4716300
Yeah, Scrounger's rather infectious like that, ain't he?
Hey, diddle, diddle, the dog and the fiddle...
We got a football hooligan butch and a rapist dog and torture
uncomfortable stuff
Oh...My God
Never thought I'd say this but it's all I got.
That was Wack, Yo!!
I'm hoping that at least Twilight or Lyra did the responsible thing and informed Celestia and/or the guard about the situation... I mean, this is the kidnapping of a high profile person and their family by very dangerous individuals. Where's the damn Secret Service at?!
4716326 4717205
Couldn't resist. Rarity had to deal with it in season 1 if you recall.
Yeah. I'm hoping you aren't going to just let Honeydew get off the hook for this. The fact she gets away with all the crap she normally does pisses me off but if she isn't at the very least jailed for this then the law in Equestria is really, REALLY fucked up.
Welp, now I don't feel like eating dinner...
Important thing to keep in mind: Lero has not in Xenoverse (canon, DR, or XFT) fallen sick yet, and he explicitly was stated in canon to have a different number of chromosomes from the ponies. He might very well be wholly immune to Equestrian diseases, simply having a biology that's too different for any of the local pathogens to infect.
In fact, there's a very good reason to think that Lero's microfauna and Equestrian microfauna aren't able to infect ponies or Lero respectively; if it WAS possible for diseases to cross over, Lero might have been at the epicenter of an epidemic as soon as he arrived, as a whole host of diseases to which the ponies would have no natural immunity would spread, and Lero himself would have become ill from all the pony virii and bacteria, since he wouldn't have any immunity to their diseases either. Since that did not happen, Lero might well be biologically incompatible with Equestrian diseases, and vice-versa. He could be capable of being a carrier, though, so he might not ever develop symptoms of anything but pass it along to the herd anyhow.
SCIENCE!
Another Element of Harmony, Exit. You're going to want to put that horn away. Now, the Still Hoof grandmaster... oh. I'll leave you to your nap.
In any case, incredible insights here. To think it all began with a minotaur... It seems so obvious in hindsight.
Looking forward to more. Especially how Scrounger is still alive. I'm guessing magic.
The level of Gore and brutality reached a level that inst believable anymore, above all else it feels painfully forced in to the story.
As if you would need the action to keep the thing interesting and implying the death of a char that we know will survive...
Yeahhh pls bring this hole shit fast over with so we can go on with the story okay?
4721666 Being immune I would still have a problem with a half rotting canine dick before my face. Tough it would be easy to finish the guy by simply biting his dick off, it is really fast way to make someone bleed to death.
Anywayyy. I want all those ponies to be dead in the next chapter. Yup, dead. Gutted and so on. I despice such characters and if I had a chance I would never show any mercy to humans with such traces not to mention other spieces. Such things don't deserve to live among other living beings, even animals have their reasons when they are cruel.
And there goes any possible sexual desire I have ever had and or will have.
So awesome hurry up with the next chapter PLEASE
4731804
Better yet, this one have a part of the Fluttershy inside her, who let's remember, is pals with DISCORD, whatever happens to them it will be tame compared with what Discord can do.
And seriously Honeydew didn't even warm those guys about Rarity being the element of loyalty? This goes directly into letally stupid territory.
4764310
Well, it wasn't so much a case of them NOT knowing well beforehand that Rarity was Element of Loyalty.
That was part of the APPEAL for a gang of criminals like the Sicklefins: kidnapping the 'monkey' of such high-profile world-renowned celebrities as Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.
That said, I give you all my Word As Author, that it was never truly their goal to kidnap both Lero AND Rarity. They'd've been perfectly happy to JUST nab Lero, alone… it's just that that one pegasus mare in Chapter 30 couldn't 'shake off' Rarity when she approached Lero, so she got kidnapped too, and they decided to more or less 'run with it.'
(…Yes, Exit Wound's the type who'd keep a giant birdcage around 'on reserve,' for winged prisoners such as griffins and pegasi. Exit's not a nice pony.)
But yes, the Sicklefins truly DIDN'T think it all the way through, didn't consider the greater ramifications and how it could directly come back to bite them in the flank, should Rarity die, (similar to Spike with Applejack in Chapter 21:)
They figured if Rarity died, the Element Bearers could be replaced very easily, (like promoting a new general in the army, if the old one falls in battle.) The possibility that this might NOT be the case never, EVER occurred to them.
Which was, as you say, lethally stupid.
So, that happened.
This is probably the nastiest thing I’ve read since the torture scenes in the early Sword of Truth books.
Your imagination scares me.
4768201
Yes, it did.
I'll take your word for it. Never read the Sword Of Truth books, myself.
But I want you to know that I do feel honored.
Stay tuned for Chapter 32.
I feel sorry for Honeydew and how much this one event has taken away from her life. True, she did it all to herself but I think if someone had gotten her to let go of her past she'd be alot happier. Reminds me of the song "This is your Life" by Switchfoot.
Jesus Christ! I like grimdark fics, but when brickwalls such as that come up, it kinda throws me in a loop and makes go wtf! Great chapter, though, the sudden change in tone could have been handled differently, to kkep in theme with the story.
4856628
Speaking from the author's side of the fourth wall, that was pretty much the intended effect. Prior to this particular plot arc, I deliberately gave Honeydew as little 'screen time' as I could get away with... featured her in just enough scenes to let my audience know that, yes, Honeydew WAS 'still around,' that she hadn't fallen prey to Chuck Cunningham Syndrome (unlike, say, Shimmer and Chuckwagon of the original Xenophilia,) and re-affirm that Discord's Bewitchment's done nothing to change her feelings towards Lero.
If I'd gone down the 'foreshadowing' route, Honeydew would've raised WAY too many red flags for the audience. And I wanted what she had in store for Equestria's favorite human to be as big a shock to the READERS' system as it was to Lero's.
Besides, I may play devil's advocate... what good would it've done Honeydew to softball it against the likes of Twilight Sparkle and Rarity? Mares with a close personal connection with the Sun Princess? Mares who've taken on the likes of Discord and triumphed? Mares whom Honeydew has never, ever, ever beaten in single combat (or even verbal fencing?)
No, at this point, Honeydew had to bring out some big guns right from the word 'go,' or else stop aiming at Lero altogether. Ergo: Exit Wound, who is nothing if not a big, damn nasty GUN.
4784383
I completely, completely agree. Part of me wishes I had the time to really DEVELOP this into its own story, because Swapped-Space AJ and Swapped Magician Pinkie Pie are just too cool for words.
4856904 I'm sure it was the intended effect, as I had done something similar, in terms of plot and I have done plenty of... let's just say 'bad scenes'. But still, could have wet the feel a little first to gague the temperature of the water before jumping in. I'm not just talking about what Honeydew is willing to do either, you could have sprinkled more grimdark throughout this fic, unless your aim is for shock every time you do manage to do it. If it is so, then by all means, continue, you are the writer, not I. Awesome fic though. Would love to see how this particular situation ends.
4867543
So… Mr. 7 wasn't grimdark? All that abuse Rainbow Dash suffered from her animals wasn't grimdark? The senseless and extremely vicious war in that flashback Luna showed Twilight and Lero, that wasn't grimdark?
Don't get me wrong, though, I do understand where you're coming from on this. The Sicklefin Gang are a completely different caliber of grimdarkness, aren't they?
Thanks! We're hard at work on it. Still a few scenes left to write.
4867790 Hmmm true about that, but I having read Sweet Apple Massacre *shudders* I kinda did not get the system shock you intended with those, nowadays, you would need something like the most recent chapter for me to count it as grimdark. It needs to be at Rainbow Factory or higher for me to count it, considering the caliber of Sweet Apple Massacre. Again, *shudders*.
4868028
Well, I'm honored that you count my grimdark up with the 'grimdark greats.' High praise, indeed!
Now hold on tight for what's to come…
4869437 With that statement, I'm thinking I will like the next chapter very much, now that the system shock is over.
Holy crap!
Huh... what the fuck was that? The story had a perfect flow and you suddenly implant this piece of pointless violence....
I'm all for shock value, but this chapter, along with the wax and whatnot feels like somebody just copy/pasted part of a different story here. No bueno.
Oh yeah. All that indignation over being ignored... Honey just can't come to terms with herself being into what she considers beastiality. Or misplaced resentment to what should be minotaurs, but seems to be directed at bipeds in general. Surprised she never went after Spike with such blind hate with all his chasing after Rarity/AJ.
Neat, but not remotely surprising that Lero's arrival would have sparked not only general fascination with humans, but a rise in new porn.
Gabby? As in the good griffon?
Lero using Discord like that was so terrifically badass! That said, shouldn't someone have reminded them that Lero and Rarity are herded to Twilight Sparkle, the quasi-adopted daughter of Celestia. Hurting Twilight would be like punching Celestia, the sun, in the face, and you can't do that without being burned.