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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Discord you coy beast. Using Star to get Celestia to see your point. Played them both like a fiddle.
Luna's teats, I'm
actually agreeing within love with with Star Sparkle.Meh. Star Sparkle has always been the most boring Mary Sue of the Xenophilia Multiverse.
Well, about time that somebody called Celestia out of all of this.
I thought I recognized archonix's hand in this. I think it was the historical discussion of the donkey witch hunts that tipped me off.
In any case, an excellent chapter from all angles. Definitely looking forward to whatever revelations Celestia has been holding back until now, and how much damage the hiding has already done.
One thing, though: why does everyone act like Celestia has a bad habit of banishing ponies to the moon? She did it once, with the aid of artifacts to which she is no longer attuned.
Sorry, just a pet peeve.
Uhuhu. The plot thickens and not because Celestiass ass being present in this chapter.
I like it. I agree with Discord and Star Sparkle. Seems like Luna is starting to become sick of Tias shit as well.
Looks like the story is going into direction far far diffrent from what was in the show.
Delicious.
Besides don't forget what Lero would do if Twi gone mad and he knew who is responsible for this.
Good heavens, the offshoots are cross-pollinating again.
Damn, I hate Star Sparkle and love her at the same time. Her heart might be of stone sometimes but when she starts to care enough, she can change things.
I am so excited for this new arc of Divided Rainbow now. It has good characters doing interesting things while foreshadowing something huge to come. There is also that new dimension to nearly every pony involved here. I know it has been mentioned that Twilight's father being interested in Luna romantically in the past and others where Luna is interested in Twilight's as family or romantically in other stories. But now I need to wonder about this angle of Luna actually pursuing a relationship and the implications behind it aside from the obvious questions this chapter alludes to in the future.
I feel like I should be brushing up on my Xeno universe just so I can full appreciate what is about to go down. Which is exactly what you want in a huge reveal. I guess that will be how I spend my time till the new chapter. It will be a nice break from reading FoE stories as those can be incredibly depressing, just so you can appreciate the heart warming bits.
4030400 She doesn't, really. However, that one instance of sending someone to the moon is very famous, so it's something people joke about. "Send you to the moon" is basically shorthand for "Celestia's very angry at you". Which... is not a comfortable position to be in. Honestly, you might prefer the moon.
Bravo Star Sparkle. About time SOMEONE called Celestia out on all this.
Strangely, this is not actually satisfying to me... Maybe it's just because this is Star Sparkle, but I am just left vaguely bothered.
Reading it again, yup, it's Star Sparkle. I liked what Discord was doing, what Luna was doing, but... not the bulk of the chapter. I dunno, I think it's just because if anyone should be calling out Celestia, it should be Twilight or Lero.
Oh yes, she's just as delightful as always.
I don't like Star Sparkle, but I have to respect her.
Just for variety, I'm hoping that Celestia has an honestly good reason for witholding information, since she so often gets cast as a troll.
I'm quite bemused by the timing of this update, but I'm very happy to see it! Lo, the next arc hath begun!
4032258
Let's just say that like Discord in Chapter 9, and Twilight Sparkle in Chapter 10... Princess Celestia had reasons for what she's set into motion, and the modus operandi she's chosen to adopt.
Just wait until the next chapter.
4032258
I understand what you mean but I neither like nor respect Star Sparkle. Saying something right, subjectively right in this case, for the wrong reasons does not make you a good person. She is a genuinely pitiable individual who holds other to impossibly high standards while ignoring her constant failures at being an at the very least decent person/pony. She told of Celestia out off misplaced anger and arrogance not love of Twilight or bravery or even principle. This particular chapter is starting to jump the shark for me because it is having an objectively terrible pony (Star Sparkle) lecture infinitely wiser and morally superior ponies (Luna and Celestia) and for some reason they are painted in the light of actually looking for her approval while being blind to her borderline sociopathy in the case of Luna or simply putting up with her arrogant, self centered, poorly thought out knee jerk outcries over "unfairness" (laughable coming from queen bitch).
On top of all that the portrayal of Twilight being super powerful to the point that Celestia fears her is fucking boring. Twilight is a 18-24 year old unicorn and Celestia is a 1000-who knows how old alicorn. The idea that a random fluke would give birth to a pony that outclasses her, she who lifts the fucking sun and moon, when the average pony can barely lift a fucking piano is a joke. Its like if Zeus was afraid of a random human because for some reason the human was born able to uppercut dragons into space for no reason. Boring plot device that takes away from a far more interesting character conflict over whether it would be right to share a secret that could endanger many for the chance to save one. By making Twilight super strong it takes away any logical foundation for Celestia keeping the secret in the first place because Twilight's insanity would be doom. So somehow some stuck up bitch of a professor knows better than the immortal ruler of Equestria. Star's rant even includes a reference to the fact that by all rights Celestia should never have made a bad choice in this situation but Celestia being wrong is hand waved away for "reasons" and Star gets no punishment for INVADING THE PALACE.
The story was interesting when focused on Twilight and Lero, but Star is just a fucking sociopathic bitch that bullies and insults everyone around her and get barely any repercussions for it. It took a lifetime of abandonment for Twilight to tell her off and now somehow the Princesses are listening to this fools advice on how to care for Twilight because she is her "Mother".
... Since when is Luna courting Lucient's herd? I don't remember anything about that in any of the previous chapters, but the way this is written suggests that I should know that. Then again, maybe I'm just too tired to remember right now.
4032694
The meta history of this scenario is that Equestria Needs Alicorns! Only there isn't any reliable safe way to create alicorns, so Celestia is gambling a new alicorn against the loss of the Elements of Harmony - and possible another Sombra. And, yeah. Remember him? A powerful unicorn going bad might not kill Celestia, or destroy Equestria, but they can probably take out a city and destroy a fair amount of country side.
I'm guessing that unlike atomic nuke, a magical nuke is not hard to make. (For some unicorns at least.) In fact, depending on exactly how magical Equestria is, it might just take the equivalent of poking a hole in the dyke. I mean do you really think Twilight the filly was producing all that magic herself?
4031275
Ah. That actually explains it very nicely. Thanks.
Though I still think that Luna should be the one who has a habit of lunar banishing. If Tia's going to send ponies anywhere, it's to the sun.
fantastic a new chapter, I'll read this as soon as I get home.
4032694
That was a very interesting rant. Perversely enough, building a rebuttal to your argument made me appreciate Star Sparkle more.
She IS a pitiable individual. I was going to say that she is not a sociopath, but sociopathy is rather slippery to define so I'll be more careful. I don't believe that she is incapable of empathizing or forming attachments to others. She just doesn't know how to be loving. Rather than "it is better to be feared than loved," her character is "if you don't know how to be loved, you can at least be feared."
You said she "holds others to impossibly high standards." Rather, I think she is actually very good at needling ponies by pointing out where they fall short of their own self image and own goals. Her barbs wouldn't sting if they didn't have an element of truth to them. She's very perceptive of the truth about other ponies. She just weilds that perception in a very painful way. For example, she wouldn't launch into a teaching lecture at a "stupid" question if she didn't want her students to learn. She's quite capable of shutting down the questioner in other ways. She gives Luna a chance to shine, and when Star warns Luna about a student, it's effectively statement of grudging respect for the student, not disrespect.
You said she "[ignores] her constant failures at being an at the very least decent person/pony." I don't beleive that's the case. She is very aware of her failings. Every time Twilight comes up, she admits she was a bad mother. She knows when she's needling people and acting inappropriate. It's just that she doesn't see benefits (to her) of changing her behavior that would outweigh the costs to her. She's influential, in control, and free to act as she wishes. Besides the slim chances of reconciling with the children who for good reason hate her, what is there to gain compared to what she has to lose?
You called Luna an "infinitely wiser and morally superior pony," and she sees something in Star. Luna is affectionate to Star despite her prickliness, and Star accepts it (though she has to rationalize it for her self image). When Luna confronts the departing Star, she is not "actually looking for her approval." Luna says, "We ... fearest thee not, nor thy ire. In that stead we wish to reassure thee." Luna is not concerned what Star thinks. She's trying to make Star feel better by telling her she's not crazy.
You said "She told off Celestia out of misplaced anger and arrogance, not love of Twilight or bravery or even principle" and said Star was making "poorly thought out knee jerk outcries over "unfairness"" - I don't find that to be true. Star doesn't say anything about unfairness. She does say, "I know I'm not a good mother, but even I can see this is tearing my daughter apart." Star does care about Twilight no matter how terrible she is about expressing it. And Star knows the difference between giving a student a challenge that makes them angry or despondent and one that will literally destroy them. Celestia and Luna have metaphorically kicked Twilight over the edge of a cliff for no given reason, and she's hanging on by the skin of her teeth. Star wants to know why Celestia and Luna are watching impassively from the top, hoping she'll climb up, while Twilight's life is (metaphorically literally) in grave danger. Luna puts up with Star because, well, Star has a point.
This little essay made me realize that Star Sparkle is a reflection of what Twilight Sparkle could have become. Star is brilliant and was highly driven in her youth. For example, she found Celestia's 300 year hidden liquor cabinet through shrewd inference. Star is a magical prodigy to the point that she's a teleporter of rare skill and easily identifies some of Celestia's subtle enchantments. With big accomplishments in her field under her belt and a body limited by age, her passion has little outlet besides stirring the pot of university politics and protecting her family when she can. What she's lacking is any skill in relating to others on a frieldly or loving basis, or experience with putting others before herself on a regular basis. She doesn't understand how to be friendly in a normal way; all her relationships are power struggles. With her sharp mind, there are few she can't intimidate and manipulate. She's jaded. Besides the rare occasion when she can weild her acerbity for a good cause, most of her joy in life comes from the cheap thrills of alcohol, one night stands, terrorizing her students, and other audacious behavior. If Twilight had been allowed to stew in her books without learning to relate to others until she was at the top of her field, I can easily see her turning out just as lost, bitter and jaded. It's a sobering thought. I don't like Star Sparkle, but I do respect her, and I tip my hat to Archonix.
Whether Twilight being powerful enough to be able to intimidate Celestia is boring I suppose is a matter of taste. It could also be considered boring if Celestia is blandly untouchable. Also, it is Star Sparkle, a relatively powerful but self-centered mortal, who suggests that Celestia should be afraid of Twilight's magic. She might not be the most reliable judge of Celestia's position. Discord, on the other hand, says Celestia is afraid of losing Twilight's respect, and that seems to strike home. Sure, maybe Celestia can easily keep the world safe from mad Twilight, but maybe that's because she can easily kill mad Twilight. Just because it's easy to do doesn't make it an easy decision. As for the secret being a boring plot device, it sounds to me like it places Celestia and Luna in personal jepoardy. Destroying the universal infrastructure that controls day and night in exchange for one mortal? That sounds like a sufficiently interesting quandary for me.
You said, "Celestia should never have made a bad choice in this situation but Celestia being wrong is hand waved away for "reasons"" -- I wouldn't say we know that Celestia made a bad choice or that it's been hand-waved away. Celestia doesn't believe she is wrong, but Luna is on the fence (and, interestingly, seems to think that, for any other pony than Twilight, Celetia would certainly be right). Star Sparkle doesn't really have grounds to make a decision, nor does the reader at this point. The author is having fun getting us cranked up and stringing us along. We just don't know yet; we have to wait for the reveal.
You said, "Star gets no punishment for INVADING THE PALACE." That's an interesting idea, but I don't think she's a stranger to the palace. Star Sparkle is one of the grand dames of Celestia's university. If I remember her background, she's been around so long and has such a domineering personality that she has high level influence on university and court politics. Her herd controls a hereditary title (which has been hanging over Twilight's head for a while). Her herd is dating Luna. She's brilliant and she plays power games (her own way) because she has nothing better to do. She and Celestia are familiar with each other -- Celestia sent her to help Rainbow Dash get her head on straight when she was promoted to Wonderbolts Instructor. I think her biting insight, willingness to state unpleasant truth, and ususual effectiveness has earned her Celestia's indulgence.
So is Star Sparkle Twilight Biological mother?
That was amazing chapter! I loved this chapter.
Star Sparkle was amazing with all her working,
The unique duality of Celestia being both afraid of Twilight and wanting her to still admire her, just like Twilight fears Celestia's rejection.
Plus, a mother trying to redeem herself if not for Discord she would have stolen this chapter sharing it with Discord was an amazing complement.
Thank you so much.
4033908 Wow, that... that's actually a very deep analysis. I love it.
I've avoided commenting on this because I know that this character is very divisive and because I don't want to fill up the story's comments with me arguing about her, so I'll just say this: I wrote what Mike requested of me, and I know what comes after this point. Trust me when I say there's no cop-out or cheap trick going on.
And remember this is Discord we're dealing with. He chose Star because she's an unlikeable twunt. Sometimes it takes a dirty tool to get the job done, and sometimes you have to find whatever fun you can in the midst of the world falling down about your ears.
Sorry for the exorbitant double post; I deleted the extra. As amends, I'll pass on another tidbit. In my research, I was curious about Mare Lubus. It's not one of the traditional maria. I only know "Google" Latin, but as best as I can make out, Lubus is supposed to be derived from lubet. So, Luna said if Star Sparkle tried to go medieval on Celestia, Celestia would put Star in an time-out in the Sea of Niceness.
4034530
From the editors notes: "If it's "Iuba" then it could be the Latin word for 'mane.' 'Equi iuba' is "horse's mane" while the word more generally means 'beard.' So the Mare Iuba would suggest it was the lunar 'sea' that made up the Mare in the Moon's mane."
So, there you have it.
4033908
Very interesting, I understand why you appreciate Star Sparkle but your writing has also solidified my stance of dislike for her. Your point that Star Sparkle is the opposite of Twilight is excellent. She serves as an perfect foil and epitomizes what Twilight might have been if she had not been guided to be a good pony. And that is my exact reason for disliking her, she is not a good pony. Where Twilight is idealistic she is jaded. When Twilight is considerate and selfless she is abrasive and selfish. She is what Twilight would have become if Twilight was a failure at Celestia's teachings, which is why its is so damned bizarre that Celestia even tolerates her. Especially considering how emotionally abusive Star Sparkle is towards Twilight, however unintentionally, it is insane how Luna and Celestia can respect her opinion. Star Sparkle is like a Sunset Shimmer that didn't go through the portal and instead just became bitter.
When I said she ignores her constant failures I don't mean she doesn't see them. She felt terrible when she abandoned Twilight as a foal yet knowing that was terrible she still abandoned Shining. She knows her words and harsh criticism hurt her family yet she doesn't try to change. She knows her alcoholism hurts her herd but instead of quitting she just drinks alone. She knows she shouldn't be constantly cheating on her herd with students and random ponies but she still does it anyway. The very fact that she is aware of her moral failings and feels bad yet doesn't change them is condemning not redeeming.
She has grown more bitter and selfish with age and its is only a matter of time until her life falls apart. Every scene with her and her herd has been her making an ass of herself and her hard chastising her and trying to smooth things over. Her stallion is wearing of her antics, Velvet borderline hates her, and the rest of her herd is unwilling to challenge her. She has formed an abusive relationship were her force of personality and biting words keep everypony from casting her down yet somehow Luna sees that and still wants to be a part of her herd. Its fucking nuts.
And lastly I can understand why she isn't considered outright invading the palace because she visits frequently. However armed guards tried to stop her, a squad was coming to arrest her. She was clearly in the wrong and would have been thrown into jail if not for the direct intervention of Celestia. And yet during the conversation she acts like she did nothing wrong and begins to berate the ruler of the land that just pardoned her crime. She lost her right to argue for the good of Twilight's life when her direct actions have already caused Twilight as much pain as the Swap without magical fuckery. Abusive and foal abandoning mothers don't get to play the "its my daughter" card.
I really enjoyed your post and it was all enlightening as to who Star Sparkle is and how she is Twilight's literary foil, but that just makes her more detestable in my eyes. I want her life to collapse by the end of the story because everything she has ever done has been in the story has been tainted by emotional/verbal abuse, selfish indulgences, and infidelity.
4035174
Nice. In some places we draw different conclusions, but we've come to an agreement on the basics and, at least for my part, learned some things along the way. Thank you for the good conversation!
4035174
TLDR: She's a pony House. Which is also why a lot of us like her.
Though personally I think it would have worked much better if the author hadn't severely nerfed Celestia's self control. An aloof, jaded, and utterly remorseless Celestia (which is pretty much what we see in the show) would have given Star's attitude much more justification, as well as being a more interesting foil.
And not made a 5000+ year old alicorn look like a ditz.
TIS A WONDERFUL STORY
I like star sparkle now
I hate that I like her now
I hate you for making me like something I loved to hate
well done, the prospect of further escalation excites me so
I think I see where this is going. The comment about "questioning the legitimacy of our rule" kinda acts as a tell for it.
Will be quite interesting to see how this turns out.
It's a rare thing when I feel the need to write out my thoughts on a Fic. Normally I'll give it the appropriate 'thumbs' and move on. But from one long-fic writer to another, I would feel bad if I did not.
First, let me say that this story has a lot of heart and a lot of thought put into it. I can tell you put effort into the character's mental process and how they would function in each other's horseshoes. While I may not agree with your headcannon of why they're failing at their new lives, it's still done in such a way that it's believable and doesn't detract from the story. The Discord angle certainly puts a new twist on the Magical Mystery Cure plot-hole elements and easily fixes some issues, such as the Apple-family/Cakes/etc. Great job there. I find it interesting that Lero (I still think his name is awkward as hell, even though I've read all of Xeno) manages to link with both parts of Dash, though a part of me sort of wants it to bite him in the ass. Sure, don't get me wrong, I like romance, but there should be consequences for trying to hold onto mind-altered bits of Dash that have pieces of their friends mixed in. Perhaps he manages to knock-up Rarity, and when she's finally 'cured' it causes all kinds of conflict? I dunno, I'm curious if you're going to raise the stakes and test their new bond after their true-selves come back.
The spider bit was pretty dark, and very tense, great villain creature. The splork, eh, not so much. Oddly, Star Sparkle makes for a more interesting antagonist.
All in all, I've enjoyed reading the story. Though there are a couple of little nit-picks I have. First, the scripted scenes for the movies/shows. They really kill the pacing of a chapter and feel unnecessary. You could easily skip past them and only use bits from the movie as conversation like Lero and Dash did after the film. I'm afraid I found myself skimming past the Movie scenes to get back to Lero & crew.
Second, some of the references... eh... feel forced. The Optimis Prime for example, it was so out there.. The Dr. Who was believable to an extent, as that Doc's outfit really was madness. I half expected you to use Dr Whooves to deliver a punch-line about it. There were a few other references that bugged me, but not enough for me to remember.
Third, I sort of wish we got to see more of their intimate time together. Like when Dash presents herself to Rarity. That was pretty hot, and I was disappointed it didn't get a little scene. Easily could have been used for early character bonding between the two as Dash struggles with being 'bent' but having 'needs'. Even if they were their own chapters.
One last little bit, it's been a while since I read Xeno, so the Luna portion with Star Sparkle left me scrambling to figure out who was who in the herd and why Luna was bothering with the uppity mare. Perhaps a fore-word reminder to the readers about Luna's involvement with Star's herd? Just little bits of info would go a long way.
Alright, I think that's everything.
Great story, and I'll be watching to see where you go with it.
Anyhoof, back to getting my next chapter written. My muse, she torments me.
4166556 Even if it is multi story-story I read all chapters(instead of the new one here) and I'm still confused as fuck.
4030515 this for me as well.
... Something tells me that after all the suffering that been going around because of this 'solve the spell, fix it yourself' stuff, Twilight would rather be obliterated, an actual pile of ash, for what this 'last test' forced upon her friends, instead of going through with becoming an Alicorn.
I mean, in the episode, it's one thing that it all took place within the relative day, but here? It's stated that the events are going over MONTHS. Months of suffering. Months of a brainwashed populace because only NOW does it seem Celestia will own up to her mistake and deliver SOME help with this damn incomplete spell.
So, yeah, this story's Celestia? Fuck your plan. I'm pretty sure it's gone fubar.
And people, while she is the pony-equivalent of House and a despicable bitch, at least she finally owned up and called out Celestia on her own despicable bull-shit for this story.
4167112
I do look forward to your full commentary!
4169734
Rarity reads excerpts from How Bonobos Say Hello in Chapter 16 of this story. You ought to check it out!
4170188
Well, the way I saw it... if I didn't write a "Worst Possible Outcome" storyline... someone else would've. Might as well beat them to the punch, eh?
...Or is even THIS the worst possible outcome...?
4166727
I couldn't agree more! Would anyone be interested in helping with that?
4147105 true but it was just a horrible act and she wasn't good at it. to be a real switch around she'd need to be just as good as Applejack, right? though it was entertaining to see her act like she was a farmer
4182225
Well, there ARE such things as fun chores, believe it or not.
I, myself, am rather fond of cooking... which is very definitely a chore.
Regardless, if you've had fun, then I've done my job as author!
4173217
My advice, Hearnishire? Don't search. Don't wait on others. Create that FIM/Sliders crossover you yearn for yourself.
Part of the reason I wrote Divided Rainbow to begin with was when I realized that no other author would've conceived of such a story on his own... that others wouldn't think to take the ideas of Magical Mystery Cure in the direction I was seeing.
Take it from me, though: if it really IS a worthwhile story, you won't be writing it alone for long. Just look at how many people collaborated on this with me! I'm blessed to work with all of them.
There are two fanfiction portrayals of Discord that I find capture his main spirit, the "Good" Discord of this story that is"reformed" but still uses his power to manipulate others to reach his goals of helping his friends and the Discord that by true definition cannot be reformed from the story Diaries of a Madman
4215505
Hahah, oh, god, it's hilarious seeing this reaction again months after the initial fury is over and done.
4220250 Outside of the fan episode, we tried to limit the sex to plot-relevant moments.
My respect for Xenophilia-Verse Star just multiplied ten-thousand-fold.
I still don't respect her, period, but, baby steps.
I pretty much hate Star Sparkle. I don't mind this; I feel like I'm supposed to. She does whatever she wants and gets away with it because no one tells her to buck off... or jails her (try that barging in thing with most governments). She's sort of a weird variation on
a Mary SueDr. House. Again, this is actually fine: she's not the protagonist (though even that could work if she stayed funny or relevant despite being an obnoxious ass).The problem I have is that this chapter feels like it's too late. Star's concerns about her 'daughter' (oh how cute, she thinks she's a mother to Twilight...sorry but there's more to it than birthing) are, at this point, far less relevant than they would've been about twenty chapters ago. If she wasn't so busy being self righteous and, you know, CHECKED on her precious 'daughter' more than the once, she might know that. She's too busy insulting Rarity, Luna, Celestia, and her own herd (WHY does Luna want any part of that?!) to be bothered with fact checking. WHO raised Twilight again? Obviously it was not this
trashfine, upstanding mare. She even wears her failure as a parent like a badge of honor: why, it justifies that her concerns MUST be extremely valid. Even a fail mother can see it, it must be true! *facepalm*This is my second read through, so I know what's coming and I know both Celestia and Star make valid points here. That really changes nothing though. Twi's found her own equilibrium and is dealing with the problem at a healthy pace, most importantly not alone. Star could know about that, but she's too busy being... Star. Like I said, I don't mind hating her while being aware I'm supposed to. It adds to the fic; it really does.
That aside... and barring a few off the rails upcoming chapters (in my opinion, YMMV) that I'm going to NOT comment on... this is an enjoyable ride. That there are characters worthy of hatred for being something other than flat (*cough*Honeydew*cough*) says something about the quality of work here. That the characters created and portrayed are complex and interesting enough to keep the story flowing without even needing specific antagonists (...NOT commenting...) does as well. You've turned the Swapped (capitalized out of respect for the fic, I kind of dislike the term... sounds so informal for this Starswirl horror spell) from a twenty minute musical into something much more complex... it's like a dissertation on fridge logic that's actually working.
Long live new Rarity in particular (hmm, maybe that's why I hate Star... yeah it comes from loyalty to Rares... yeah that must be it). I think that's part of what's working so well for me with this. By splitting the character traits and remixing them like this, you actually take a long look at what makes each one tick. Initially, each Swapped character is so flat, so flanderized, that they can barely exist. Finding equilibrium is finding a depth and a commonality between who they are and who they were. While I look forward to the conclusion (complicated and bittersweet as it may end up being) I can patiently watch this sort of character development pretty much indefinitely. I know some comments have complained about dragging this out, but I say take all the time needed to give this tale the full measure it deserves.
TL:DR? Good job, Star's a jerk with a heart of... copper... that missed the bus. Keep on truckin'.
4076378 I was totally waiting for Lero to run across Dr Whooves while wearing that getup to see the reaction he got, but nooooo.
Total lack of fan service here, srsly.
7439876
Doctor Whooves was there. Right after leaving, Lero grins at him, and he grins back.
No matter what, Star always wins.