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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Awesome
Oh, god, the feels...
Someone has to pay for the Swap. My bet's on Celestia; someone'll chew her out for this...
And when the Swap ends, and Rarity has no memory of this...?
... Feels broken now...
Very much approved. Well done
Wow, just wow. A lot happened in this chapter.
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I'm pretty sure the swapped will remember what happened. The climax will be when the cure is found and everything is returned to normal. How will everything go down basically.
Shhhh dont tell the mods about the lyrics
Or pinkie will get you
Also i was wondering why it was so long,
sorry, i'm just not into that type of thing
3463114
Yikes! I'd be absolutely terrified... except the lyrics are ENTIRELY of my own personal invention... so it's not like I'm performing any sort of copyright infringement!
Well... this IS a Xenophilia story.
Believe it or not, I grappled with the question of whether or not to include 'that type of thing' in Divided Rainbow. But in the end, I decided it'd be best to stay true to its 'Xenophilic' roots.
I will say this: the sex wasn't gratuitous 'sex-for-sex's-sake' sex. Not in the slightest.
3463167 1. Unfortunately i'm not one to read lyrics so *insert shrug pony*
2. I just skipped it lol i'm sure it was on par with other peopls (I think?) ah well what evs...
wait why are you replying to me again? Write!
Too much use of the word `cock`. Annoying after the third or fourth in a row.
The anticipation for the inevitable switch-back is driving me up a goddamn wall. Don't get me wrong, I love each chapter like a child, but all I can think about when a new one comes out is "ARE THEY BACK TO NORMAL YET?!?!"
How do you-
This fic, every chapter, the depth, the expanse of information, the 'feels', the confusion, it all piles up more and more, and yet I'm still as clueless as how this can end in some good way, especially when the time progresses like this, and the bonds strengthen.
This chapter itself was great. It gave another look into how the curse works. That they are really living as torn beeing, trying to cope.
It was a great positive boost seeing Lero accepting Rarity, and the fact that he was able to reach out to RD's part of Rarity... If that makes sense. Then again, seeing it like that, makes the last scene in the previous chapter, as well as Rainbow's scenes in this one that much sadder. Half of Rainbow Dash is probably deep in despair because Lero left her, and we got to see it here. Poor thing.
You, including all of you working together, are doing a great work in writing this; how you integrated Rarity into everything was great, be it the scene with her and Scoots, or the last scene with Lyra, everything was pleasing and interesting to read, and shone light over who Swapped Rarity is when, well, she's 'stable'.
Anyhow.
I hope Rainbow will be able to find some peace as well in the near future.
Oh well.
Great chapter!
M
Also, some minor formatting thingies, if you don't mind too much:
[ “Lero! [ i]Lero...” ]
The italics broke.
[ and ‘Lero” collapsed ]
Both a ' and a ".
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It's a very careful balancing act of HEAVY preplanning, research, and being willing to incorporate all-new ideas, both as they pop into your own head, and when your editor(s) suggest good ideas of their own.
We've got a fighting chance of seeing a happy ending because Lero's at the helm.
It does. The reason I had that scene included was to show that Rarity isn't just a deluded unicorn, (though she is;) part of Rainbow Dash really HAS been within Lero and the others all along. Part of Rainbow Dash never left Herd Bellerophon.
I know, right? Half of Rainbow Dash is over the moon, feeling closer to her family than ever... while the other half is heartbroken with the pain of driving noble friends away. (Say, what do you suppose would happen to her if she got Cured at this moment in time, and these two sides of her reconnected?)
Thank you... seriously, thank you.
After getting equilibrium and getting that pep talk from Discord... Rainbow Dash is NOT going to keep herself shut in that cottage like she's been doing.
Wait'll you see Twenty-One!
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That's true, but, well, you're the author and probably have an idea of what will happen, heh. The way I see it though, if someone, anyone, remembers anything from the time when they were Swapped, things may be at best awkward. Say, if Rarity remembers anything from this ordeal, or Fluttershy will think of Herd Bellerophon differently after half of her has been sharing thoughts with half of RD, well, again, I'd go for awkward at best, and sad at worst (Herd Bellerophon gets that used to Rarity, that they are sad to see her return to herself, or get used to any of the friends, and will feel mixed feeling over seeing them return to the old selves) .
Oh well, I won't ask you for spoilers, just, I don't see it yet, heh. Then again, that adds to the suspense in every chapter, seeing how things progress.
That's an interesting idea.
The two extremes of her feelings towards Lero and the herd would clash, both extreme belonging to the herd, and rejection from Lero (even caused "by herself").
My idea is that if she'd stay sane, both those feelings would probably make her not leave Lero's side for a good while, to some extreme extent. I mean, if she feels that the rejection was caused by herself, but another part of her feels close to Lero, and he lets her be with him, while she's blaming herself for something, she'd probably want to uphold her loyalty to him, and show it in every possible situation.
That, or simply snap.
Hm, my imagination is not the best for stuff like this, that was a dull idea, haha.
We [mere readers] don't know really yet how the curse have affected the split individuals, I mean, each "half" of a pony in the Swapped. That's another detail that will be interesting to see when we reach it.
Uh-oh.
Not entirely sure if that's great or not, for RD it may be, but, it will probably make life even harder for poor Lero.
In the long run though, maybe it's for the better.
That... Was just evil, here I'm trying hard not to scream 'moar ' at you!
Haha, nah, I'll wait patiently, just, go work a little on that chapter, please? ^^'
I've always wondered... if we are to assume that the bible held any truth to it in Lero's home universe, could we see the banishment of man from Eden as the moment the Fae took away our world's magic? If so, would Nexus have been Fae as well, or a human who had been granted the powers of magic one more, only to be turned upon by those he's getting to save? That would honestly explain so much, and yet create a host of new questions...
Also, Dash, Scoots, and the mind clones were all cute. Sex was well done. I know not any Latin, but I understood a lot of that song from Spanish. Great chapter.
3463431 I hate it when people use twenty or so different trends for dick in the same fucking scene, because THAT is truly annoying. This chapter's sex scenes were a breath of sexy fresh air.
3464915 Dash being out and about could well be good or bad, but here's something that is going to mess with the Matrix: If Rainbow really does decide to court Lero as she is now, what if, on impulse or whatever, she gives him one of her feathers? He already has one, but Everton sees it a shaving from Rarity's horn. What happens when/if those two feathers are put next to each other?
3465185
Amen to that!
Good authors know when to whip out the thesaurus and when to just continue calling a spade a spade.
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Maybe... just possibly maybe... you'll get to find out!
No promises, though!
Words cannot describe how much I like this chapter. There was a lot of sex but it was an important part to the story. It was built up to and by the time the actually got to doing it I could believe that Lero was doing the right thing, and that he believed it too.
Also the portrayal of Lyra and Discord in this chapter was excellent. Lyra is probably the most neglected character of the xenoverse so it is always nice to see her be more involved and showing more emotions than a zen master.
Not bad.
Good story.
Discord copies are creeping me as hell.
This story, at least before Lero have done mind wacko-wacko with Rarity/Dash was a esentially story about one big MIND FUCK. Now it's only mind FUCK. A little less pressure into readers brains. Or maybe it's "silence" before storm?
3465258
I'm italian, and I'll gladly provide a translation for the lyrics in about two days, because... It hurt to read them, honestly :-\
Sorry I can't do it earlier
3465643
Heh heh! Well, I appreciate the help, Devas! Believe it or not, I honestly did give it my best effort with Google Translate. But of course, nothing can beat a translation by an actual human being who speaks the language!
The last thing I want is to sound like a train wreck of words without even knowing it, so thank you very much for offering to do this!
Awesome.
3463083
Which would precisely be the problem: remnant memories should play havoc not on one, but on three mares. Rainbow will be stepping back into her real life (so no problem there), but Rarity will be swept aside like she had been some place holder, and Fluttershy will remember falling in love with Lero.
FINALLY! Argh, ended up reading this over the course of two days.
Anyway, I'm glad to see some more sex come out of this, beng that this IS based on a popular Full-On clopfic
Didn't really compare to the last chapter for me though, that hit me right in the feels
Everything seems to be going quite astray here, however, I mean, what's Rarity gonna think of the situation she was put in when Twi fixes everything? And when she knows how to? Will they give up what they have for what they used to?
Dash's character is arguably the greatest concept in this story, at least for me, so I was happy to see her again in this, along with Discord, obviously.
Time to gladly wait for the next read, I suppose
Oh, wow. That was... I don't know how many different kinds of awesome.
3462946
Welcome to the club. Torches, pitchforks, and signs to the right; flaming effigies of Celestia to the left.
Part of me feels the middle could've used a discretion cut. Part feels that this was only proper, given the original story. A sort of pornographic justice, if that makes sense. If not... well, my muse has been taking notes from Pinkie Pie for years now, so blame the party pony.
In any case, fascinating chapter, especially given the cascade of events that promises to collapse on our heroes in the very near future.
Oh, and Cutealoo is always a good thing.
Looking forward to more!
So this chapter, it reminds me of when Lero first took the relationship to the next level with Twilight. He had to be encouraged by Rainbow Dash. Almost the exact same feelings and reluctance. The biggest difference is of course Rarity herself. She likes to push her boundaries and be very dominate. With Dash, it was more of a team effort with two equals.
Though I do wonder about Lyra. She started to make out with Rarity under the influence of alcohol. Lyra might not be through with the stages of grief quite yet.
I really enjoy your Discord. He's intelligent despite his outlandish way of thinking. He still acts like a villain that was only recently reformed. This is the first time Discord had someone to care for other than himself and he is still learning how it works.
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"Un Arcobaleno a metà, una Rarità a metà,
Sei nata dal caos di un disastro imprevisto.
La metà di due anime separate fuse insieme.
Un Arcobaleno a metà, una Rarità a metà,
Sei una principessa anche per me!
Il tuo principe t'ama!
La tua maga t'adora!
Il tuo piccolo drago t'ammira!
Ed anche il tuo usignolo t'ama.
Il mio prezioso vecchio e nuovo amore.
Niuno di noi pensava te potessi esser così forte in 'ste miriadi di modi!
Niuno di noi pensava te potessi essere così affettuosa!
Ma anch'il tuo usignolo è forte, ed anch'ei t'ama.
Sarà lì per sostenerti, a prescinder da tutto.
Quindi benvenuta a casa nostra!
Finché ci amerai, noi ameremo te."
Now, BE WARNED: I've played fast and loose with grammar rules to approximate the feel one would get reading a poem, drawing from half-forgotten memories of Dante and Leopardi.
Another native speaker will find this...weird, and archaic. Think Shakespearean English, which is kinda the point.
In particular:
I've started with "Half a Rainbow, Half a rarity" because...it fit the poem better, honestly.
I've contracted "ti" in "t'" a whole bunch of times, as can be seen, because...it's used currently, and it's used even more in slightly dated texts.
"Niuno" is archaic for "no one"; in modern times, I would've used "nessuno" but that would've made the line longer and clunkier.
"songbird" has become "usignolo=nightingale" because Italian doesn't have a word for "songbird", and using a circumlocution would've been goddam fucking ugly.
"anch'ei" is another archaism, using a latinization to squeeze as few syllables as possible in that space.
"A prescinder da tutto", literally translated, means "notwithstand anything", but I think it gets the point across, especially since using a periphrasis would've made the sentence twice as long.
Yeah, language is a cunt like that.
And finally: as you've no doubt seen, I haven't put any rhymes in the poem, and I'm not following any meter, since the original song/poem didn't have these restrictions and they would've made my work five times as hard.
I hope all this was useful to you, and good luck in general for the future! :-)
So totally AWESOME!!! can't wait for the next chapters :D
I absolutely love discord's characterization in this. He's not just a joke, nor is he a monster, he is an actual character in himself. For this, have a cookie.
this chapter reminded me that oh yeah it's not just great story. they also have those very VERY passionate moments and they are done so well
Wow I loved this chapter, so many things to comment about, Lero and Rarity, Discord and Dash, Rarity and Scootaloo, I'm loving it all.
All of the characters in this fic are very well written and every new chapter just makes them better and better.
With the way Rarity is growing and becoming an irreplaceable member of the herd (and possibly Dash too) I can see in the final few chapters (somewhere in the late forty's) a scene where Twilight sends Rarity off briefly watching her leave, waiting until she is out of earshot before saying "I've done it"
"what have you done Twilight" Lero asks
"I've discovered a cure for Starswirls spell, I can bring everyone back"
"T-that's great... fantastic even" Lero replies somewhat enthusiastically, when did you make the discovery?
"last week"
Twilight still watching Rarity leave "their is still one small problem though" pausing briefly "I don't want to lose Rarity"
.........Please tell me the gyrfalcon was the male in that scenario.
4000371
Maybe not!
How bad is it that I'm starting to like Rarity in the herd more than RD?