Applejack made a mistake a few months ago and has been carrying it around with her ever since. Literally.
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Also, Soarin' the colt-cuddler is too adorable. What would Brarburn think...
wait...
Oh, that would be hilarious, Braeburn and Soarin' meet at the farm while Soarin' is trying to get the camera.
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I KNOW You must have been reading it while I was doing, like, the third format edit. I shouldn't post before I've had caffeine.
You really shouldn't give me ideas...
3574332 Pfffft seconded
If it's not sex you provide to us, then it's comedy.
You, my dear, are indeed the most perfect romantic comedy writer.
Oh dear god.
Soarin's a... You're too good at this.
~Skeeter The Lurker
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cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-seal-cute-face-smile.jpg
Edit: What the..? Is that picture gone already?!
Nevermind then: you have my approval. With or without the seal. Dumb seal.
holy good god! you used Misty Fly, you freaking used Misty Fly! If this wasn't already my favorite story, it most definitely is now. Misty Fly is my second favorite Wonderbolt, but she's underrated as hell. Made my day within the second sentence, that's gotta be a record.
You really know how to write comedy, it's never forced and it feels completely natural. Most of the comedy is just the other characters playing off each other, not just cheap gimmicks and fan jokes. I think this is why this story stands out so much in my mind; the characters themselves are just so entertaining. not to mention that you write extremely good clop, but again their dialogue/interactions is what I love the most.
oh Flim, you should know by know that acting cocky around Big Mac will result in bad things happening. I could just see his smug little grin turn to horror as Mac doused him in piss. I just lost it when that happened, and of course, "I... had...my...mouth...open," poor Flim. Applejack did tell you to keep your mouth shut now didn't she?
Oh lordy, I can't wait for the next chapter. hmm... is that gonna be a shower scene ? they do have to get clean after all
Poker with spits misty and blaze = Soarin is screwed.... literally
First fic I've seen where Soarin is gay.
"So, you're not mad at me?"
"Oh, I'm furious," she said with a smile. "But you just made me a thousand bits richer."
Literal LOL!
AJ did technically lie... Shame on you! The bed, and what's underneath it is still in the room.
You could have had her say: "Well you don't see him in this room."
"I don't see him in here."
"What makes you think he's in here?"
"Check behind the door."
"He's probably hiding from you. Where have you looked?"
....and many others I'm sure.
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Whaaa.... answering a question with a question is technically lying?! Oh god, now I have to re-evaluate my life
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(looks back and re-reads story)
Oh.... Oh, that's crafty....
I'm in error.
And apparently, I need to watch punctuation more closely.
I should not have doubted you.
Well having now read all the way through the prequel and this before leaving a comment, (UVF'd both now) good job of it all so far.
Just one question, why make Flim so much of a weedy pencil neck that also happens to be the bastard orphaned son of a whore that died foaling him? Yes, part of it it gives an 'out' to keep Mac from turning him into a bloody splatter on the scenery, but it seems to weaken the character in my view. It's almost like trying to push the sympathy button too often.
Still, on to the next chapter.
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Hm... interesting question. I shall do my best to answer it!
He and Flam's character design were so different from the other stallions in the show that I thought I should mention his lack of physical strength (i.e., not being able to hold AJ's weight even before she was pregnant); that, and making him a hemophiliac, both feature prominently in either the next chapter or the one after it. I don't want to give too much away, but he's going to get stuck doing some unpleasant farm work---Mac's idea of knocking him down a few pegs
As for his history, well, that's going to be touched on, too---actually, it's probably going to be a big part---but for the bit that's been shown now: it's widely believed that the Apple siblings lost their parents, so putting a parallel in there was to help the rest of the family see past their distrust of him, if only a little. Keep in mind you don't yet know if YOU can trust him either. I didn't mean to overdo the sympathy---I thought that with all the scummy things he's done, both in the show and in these stories, it would balance him out a bit. Yeah, he didn't know his parents, but he did knock up a drunk mare, take incriminating photos of a stranger, ruin his own brother's wedding, and drug his (possible) future brother-in-law. I personally am not feeling too much sympathy
The FlimFlams are usually portrayed as pure antagonists (which I'm not knocking, BTW!) but I wanted to explore why they ended up the way they are. They're twins who are obviously smart enough between the two of them to invent things the likes of which most ponies can't even imagine, and yet they seem to have no money and no home---why would that be?
Basically, the show's one-shot villains I see as wildcards---why was Gilda so defensively clingy? What made Iron Will start bodybuilding? Did someone kick sand in his face or something? Why did Trixie have such a problem with the first person? And so on.
Uh... okay, I'm going to stop rambling. Did that answer your question at all?
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Oh, and thanks for the UVF's! That means a lot
3584333 Actually yes, mostly, and well done at that I will add. I do think that the initial extreme sympathy shift did strike me, and in one of my own works I have had to temper turning a recurring little toad into a sympathetic plight without actually fracturing her character before it was time. I do agree with you that villains and background ponies are so much fum to elaborate on.
I do like the slightly more scummy additions to Flim's character in the most recent chapters, and I look forward to more development within the story, well done. I knew there was a reason to put an eyeball on you, and I am totally vindicated by the quality of your answer.
Sir Barton (One Old Racehorse)
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There is much to learn, young padawan And, judging from one of your previous comments, I'm guessing you may have misread another chapter... Granny doesn't actually have a latex outfit, you know.
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Thank you so much!
I loved this chapter it had me cracking up I loved it all and can't wait to see what happens next to them all.