SusieBeeca
Joined 19th May, 2012 ·
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SusieBeeca · 2.6k words · 32 1 · 1.3k views
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Yay, sequel!
LOL!
So, wait, Flim is bisexual? Ha! Brilliant.
This is starting out great! Can we hope for somewhat steady updates?
Oh, Big Mac... Old-fashioned is as old-fashioned does.
3440197
Of course! I already have most of the clop written
I'll do my best to keep the updates regular... no more year-long lag, I promise!
Can't wait to sink my teeth into this. You hid your writing ability well over the years.
3440323
I have recommended this to all my horse words hipster buddies as a perfect example of a story with clop, but not a pure clopfic, as it has so much more to it. Please keep up the great work!
You want a good one I came up with? Here:
GOD-DAMN-MOTHER-FUCKING-SON-OF-A-BITCH-ASS-FAG
Trademarked by me. Came up with it when a massive glitch ended a speed run I was doing in a game.
Oh. As for the story, good start.
but really, funny stuff. loved the original, and this one is already looking like it'll be even better. can't wait for more.
3440329
Wow, thank you so much!
Loved Two-Step, and looking forward to the rest of this one!
Well things escalated quickly. Damn, I didn't think a story could get better but it did
And whoa, Flim is bi? That came out of nowhere, though I guess I could see him as a "so hot even the guys want him" type of person. For some reason in your original story, first chap, I kept getting the impression that Flam was the gay one, even though Flim did say he was sulking because he had no lady. Anywho, interesting Big Mac didn't seem to care Flim was bi, I guess he isn't as conservative as I thought. That Pegasus was pure comedy gold! haha nice job Flim picking the 13th floor for your little fuck session, how the mighty have fallen; what you found attractive in that pegasus is beyond me considering you seemed to find him annoying. oh well *shrug*
Still no Flam... I'm really wondering what your take on him is. Oh my god, what if Flam's a virgin!? I would laugh so hard if that ends up being true later on. Off to a great start and I can't wait for the later chapters!
Two words: SHOTGUN. WEDDING.
Thank you for continuing this story.
Why did I receive no notification?
Anyway, this looks like a good one!
Can't wait for more!
~Skeeter The Lurker
SEQUEL!!! Now this is what I want to see. Insults running through the town, shotguns being used for weddings (Though I think that Big Mac could just use his own hooves in its place), and YOU HAD BETTER EXPLORE HOW FLIM FEELS ABOUT THIS!!!
Okay, first, who the hell is that Pegasus? Flim isn't gay, so what is he doing there?
And where is Flam?
3441563
Maybe. Or maybe he was just too angry to care by that point.
Well, he probably had his mouth full most of the time they spent together.
I'm sorry, I had to say it. And I'm a little surprised no one's tried guessing as to who he is...
3444571
Hee hee. You're asking all the right questions.
2.bp.blogspot.com/_gu1wlAwdunU/TGIb7VMA-tI/AAAAAAAAA9k/HDCHIsOAn0k/s400/free-MrBurnsExcellent.gif
3444708 DARN YOU!!!
HEAD CANON ERROR!!
SOARIN IS NOT GAY!!!
3444574 Surprised nobody has guessed who he is? Wait... didn't Flim say the Wonderbolts were staying in the same hotel?
... Oh no...
HELL no.
HELL F*****G NO.
Soarin is straight! He either has the hots for Spitfire or Rainbow Dash (and sometimes Applejack, but that's not happening here)! Having him be gay is like pairing Vinyl Scratch with somebody other than Octavia! Or worse, making Vinyl or Octavia STRAIGHT! It just doesn't happen!! AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Aww, hell with it. It's still a good story. I'm STILL reading this!
3444574 I'll take your word for it. I kinda pondered that reason, but wasn't too sure.
Unless, it wasn't an innuendo and 'face full' meant full of something other than innuendo (prob not). As for the pegasus, I didn't really think who he was mattered, but now that you mention it... my first thought was, and still is, that it's Soarin'. I don't know why, that's just the first place my mind jumped, you said he was blue right, and that the Wonderbolts were in town?... and he is portrayed in the fandom as kind of stupid and gay... am I right, or do I have to wait and see?
wait wha- oh. Why does it take so long for me to get innuendos
3444756 I think you and I just had the same epiphany.
but actually, Soarin' is gay a lot of times in the fandom. like a lot a lot.
and what's wrong with making Octy and Vinyl straight? I prefer them strait. in fact I go by the canon that they don't even know each other at all
I read that and totally lost it.
Also, poor Soarin'...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Churchill
3445448
That's one of them!
This isn't looking like you're doing the right thing, Flim!
(side note, the *** for scene breaks is a bit easy to miss. [br] I believe is the code to make a line. Works better ^^)
3445610
Whoops! Thanks for the tip.
Damn, poor berry, she is gonna start drinking again isnt she?
Great chapter. I laughed quite a lot.
well then.
and Mac sympathizes with him, that scene could not be any more beautiful in my head. There's sand in my eye, and not only from the emotional parts. I lost it when Applebloom basically called Flim the 'ugly twin', I couldn't breathe when AJ called Flim a necrophiliac 
(especially after they finished talking about dead ponies). also Flim's interactions with Applebloom are just adorable, he's so good to her, damn he's really good with kids and doesn't even talk down to her, is there something you're trying to tell us? I can't seem to grasp just what he's trying to do though, it's kinda ambiguous, he's obviously being a pretty good sport about having to sit down to dinner and heck he's the one trying to get everyone to talk a bit more, he has a little moment where they all realize they're not that different from each other, but idk he's been a very entertaining character thus far. I wonder how Applebloom's feeling now; she barely knew her mom either. Do you go with the headcanon that her mom died during childbirth?
that was fucking amazing. just amazing. The dinner scene was wonderfully paced. I liked the subtleness concerning Flim's mannerisms at the table. I wonder if him not being religious will become important. kinda random, but shouldn't Flim have like massive bruising from the kicks delivered courtesy Applejack and Big Mac, or does bruising only apply when he externally bleeds in this story? I'm sorry, it's just a random little thing I noticed. Anywho, you kept the story moving at a wonderful rate, kept it fresh, introduced new bits of information and even a bit character growth (maybe). I think this could be renamed Bombshell: The Chapter cuz wow did we learn a lot here. Like holy fuck Flim you're an asshole, how the hell did you manage to ruin your own brothers wedding? an even better question, why does he still hang out with you? Oh yeah, then we find out that they're literally sons of a whore, then, oh god I'm totally not internally crying, we find out their mom is dead
also brain bleach; so you can be funny too Flam, that's nice to see. Dick Dastardly up to no good huh, gee how'd he manage to slip 3 freaking pills into Mac?
Sorry for rambling, the longer a chapter is the more I ramble
Churchill and Lady Astor for the tea (cider) poisoning. I love that exchange! I know Churchill also said the "I'm drunk but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober" in "Two Step".
');
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No idea on any other quote. (frustrated) I really wanted a cookie too...javascript:smilie('
I loved the baby naming line of AJ. (if it's gas, I'll name it after you.) Brilliant! Literal LOL! (Was that the other famous quote?)
Didn't AJ get pregnant belly too quickly? Seriously, this bugs me.javascript:smilie('
I still really want to hate this AJ and Flim ship.
You still write too DAMN WELL to allow me. (sigh) I suspect I'm going to learn to like it. javascript:smilie('
The "If it's gas, I'll name it after you." Quote is from here: i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7881254912/hE15703F9/
3445307
I like to ship Soarin with Rainbow Dash, myself.
Holy shit. Not a single lie, this was the funniest chapter of a fanfic I've ever read. Amazing.
3446503 I don't want to start a disagreement or anything, take what I say with a grain of salt: I loathe Soarin' and Rainbow Dash as a ship. There's just no backing to it except that she has a fan girl crush on him, which I don't count as legitimate feelings. I don't hate people who ship them though ^^ to each his own after all
I myself like to ship Soarin' with Spitfire.
3446477
sharegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/20/slow-clap-gif-2.gif
Bravo! I thought no-one would get that, but you proved me wrong! Have all the cookies!
3445888
Wow! Your comments always make my day
That'll be briefly mentioned in the next chapter. Keep in mind bruising takes awhile to show up.
Heh, that comes up later, too. Basically, they're so close and have been through so much together that they can forgive even the worst mistakes, but that'll be explored in detail later.
I'm so far trying to leave it ambiguous, but I might touch on it later if I change my mind.
3446160
She's more heavily pregnant in the cover illustration than she is at this point in the story. Although it's never said exactly, there are hints in the story (and in upcoming chapters) about how far in the pregnancy she is. I don't know much about equine anatomy, but I figure that even an early baby bump would show on a pony as slim and toned as AJ.
3445307 There isn't anything in the canon show that shows if they know each other or not. That's what HEADcanon is for.
3448108
yeah, I'm too stupid to live sometimes
Make someone happier: check!
Oooh fun. Ah alright, hmm my family must be weird then; our bruises show up pretty soon after we hurt ourselves. but then again that's probably cuz we get injured pretty hard. Hehe, for some reason I thought it would look like he got them from a very intimate and aggressive lap dancer, but then I realized those bruises would be a lot higher up
All the foreshadowing, I love it! But d'aw that's really sweet, hits me right in the feels. I cannot express how much I love all the intricate detail you put into this story, you make everyone so three dimensional and interesting. Heck even Flam gets some dimension. considering the themes in this story, I'm wondering if my thought of Flam being a virgin is still relevant... I'll wait and see, I know whatever you write will be amazing.
Ok then, fair enough. Ambiguity, don't 'cha just love all that gray.
(Sorry for being nosy) when a mare is pregnant their stomach doesn't really distend towards the ground, it does a little, but they mostly get bigger on the sides.and they're gestation period isn't a full year, its just 360 days. A lot of horse owners love saying this to people who generalize
3448108 Mwahaha
All the cookies! i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/199/x-all-the-y.png
i.imgur.com/NnoGhN1.gif
Can't wait to read more!
Something tells me that Flam will cause this sort of scene when he learns the location of his brother, but not the details:
how about them apples.
What?
What?!
3445610
Hr
That, right there, means these two will be a perfect couple.
Another great chapter, though I have to scratch my head a bit at Soarin's portrayal. I never seen him done up to be such an idiot before.
Bah, still, this is shaping up to be a very cute romance, mixed with some well done drama, AND we get some juicy clop next chapter! Any idea when that will be?
3451697
Sorry about how he was portrayed! I had fun with it, but I knew some folks wouldn't be happy.
It's 95% done, and will be up ASAP!
OH YEAH IT'S HERE WOOP.
...gotta read later. Stupid school.
Amazing, as expected. (Screw school, technicolor horse drama is more important.) I am definitely looking forward to more.
I don't even know, man...
3452379
'Bout what?
haha, you just got cock blocked Flim. trollin' like a boss AJ, like a boss.
that was cute, their dancing scene was so sweet, they really are adorable together. I really can't figure out why AJ would do that though, it is kinda funny though how horrified he is that he isn't responding and doing that awkward "I swear this has never happened before" thing, gold alright just gold
At first I was worried, I thought something super bad/climactic was gonna happen, but then as you realize he was just drugged it becomes hilarious.
hmm, now how's AJ gonna get him back downstairs? or is she just going to leave him to the mercy of Big Mac's fury.
and I wonder what Flim needs anti-anxiety medication for... he doesn't seem like the anxious type, but then again... you could totally throw us for a loop again, and I love it when you do that. I look forward to the next chapter
3452382
How to feel about anything
Okay, I can see the whole conversation at the dinner table happening while they are eating. So Flim is a decent character, and maybe Soarin WASN'T the one with Flim that night?