"Would you care to explain the punchline of this joke? Because i fail to find it funny, dear miss Rarity."
You were in Trouble, but did she know it?
"the rebels call themselves thunderstorms, the Name fulgur, your Little conversations with my friends. your Name is thunderhead, and you are at least a high ranking member of them."
Rarity asserted her case rather easy to follow, you had to admit.
"So you accuse me of what exactly? i was invited in by you, i have not threatened you and i have not stolen, so instead of wasting the precious time of our law enforcement you´d best give them a reason to lock me up." oh, now you were just being mean.
"you are a member of thunderstorm." Rarity seemed to be oblivious to something slightly important.
"and i believe that it was not an almighty being that made us, but both of those are opinions."
"That would be true if you were merely displeased but you aid terrorists with what you do." oh, now she was spouting something that wasn´t right.
"How so? doubting the ruler prevents being abused by them, and how do you tell i´m a member?"
Rarity stopped in her tracks, you only now noticed she had been pacing.
"you are trying to convince my friends to let thunderstorm overthrow celestia. that isn´t something you come up with out of the blue, you must be one of them."
"who are your friends anyways?" feigning ignorance could work, she couldn´t have more than a description of you.
"Applejack and Rainbow Dash, you are exactly what they described you as."
"never heard of an Applejack, but Rainbow Dash, isn´t she the winner of the best Young Flyers competition?" the mare in front of you was now getting agitated. put a cherry on top and be done with it.
"the red of your face bites horribly against your blue eyes by the way." maybe too much?
"you dare, officers, please escort this stallion to prison."
"sorry, ma´am, but we have nothing to Warrant Arrest, hay, he didn´t even try to run or fight. We´d also advise against further false alerts, they get expensive." ah, the lazy branch of the manehattan Police, in their laziness they were at least reliable.
"I didn´t make the rules, Miss, but this is what they are, i´d like them changed too. I think i´ll look to another designer, one that doesn´t want me in jail. That you ever even thought such horrible things of me, for shame." you were Kind of a bastard. but this is as salvageable as the current Situation gets.
You leave the Mare, still working her way out of the shock of the policemen´s announcement.
As you get back on the streets you quickly book it to the Train Station, maybe some days off were very much needed right now, but what to do first when you arrive, your old home Held a few fond memories, there was your oldest friend, if he even remembered you, your parents of course, but you weren´t sure how to step under their eyes, or maybe for the best, drive one Station further and Keep away from all of them.
its a hell of a lot better than before
also who ever voted for this outcome is a friggen genius
I really Liked this outcome. It was funny and unexpected. For this choice, I'd go see my friends and family.
I like this story too much to not mention this.
The grammatical errors in this story are wide and varied, and I feel that you need help with them. 26 chapters in, and while your style has improved, the structure of the story remains the same. It's fragmented, and often I find myself turning away from this story because of it.
I don't say this to be rude. I say it as one author to another. If you got some help from an editor or something, I think that the popularity and positive feedback you currently have would go up. I like this story too much to bash on it in a hateful way, and I feel I would be doing you a disservice if I hadn't said anything.
friends and family is my choice
Well, he DID murder a mansion full of ponies.
And some other terroristy stuff.
Also, if you need anyone to edit your text, I'm willing to do it. I'm not that great at English, and I don't have that much free time, but I get the job done. I think. Maybe.
Well, I would really like to see my family, but it is likely that the police or the guard will be waiting there. For my family's own safety, I had better just go on past.
(Ooc)
Wow, kudos on that one Thunder.
You've got a real silver-tongue there.
As much as I want to see my family, who is to say that they would welcome me, much less remember me. I'd rather think that they still love me and not see them, than to see them and realize that they hate me.