You know these stories where somebody suddenly wakes up with a creepy, unknown voice in their head? Well that's what's happening to me, except I'm that strange voice, and I'm not stuck in somebody, I'm stuck in somePONY.
How did I get here? And how will I ever find a way to go back without so much as a body to call my own?

Now with 100% more cover art thanks to the splendiferously awesome Exelzior! Go read his stuff instead of mine! Do it!

Rated teen for foul-mouthed protagonist. Expect bad words.

If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.

Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.

Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.

I love to steal. The thrill of the theft, the shivers that go down my spine when I pilfer someone's valuable or rare object... it's an adrenaline rush.

Back on Earth, my job was damn difficult. Laser tripwires, security cameras, alarm systems, and armed guards were just some of the things I had to deal with on an almost-daily basis if I wanted to make ends meet. Here in Equestria, though... it's almost as if they want me to steal from them. It's a cakewalk. Even with Fence taking a portion of the value when he sells my stolen goods, I'm still practically rolling in bits.

Surely nothing bad could come of this at all... right?

King Arthur, a king among kings, one of the most well known figures of Earth's lore. Merlin the wizard, his close ally and friend. Thought to be mere legends to all, sheer happenstance proves to one individual that lore is often based on reality. These legends, and more, are proven true before his very eyes. His goal, however, is a simple one. Find a way back home.

Credits - A hearty thanks to PocoRitardo, who, although not a reader of HiEs, helped to refine many of the ideas contained within, as well as help me with some of the Arthurian Lore.

Note - Main 6 will be featured, however for the moment I chose Cadance and Shining Armor tags over them. They will play some role further down the line.

"OH! That would be the Elements of Harmony! They're the neatest thing! We each get a jewel necklace--Twilight gets a sparkly tiara--and we used them to defeat Discord and Nightmare Moon with rainbows that go pewpewpew-!"

A clawed glove wrapped over Pinkie Pie's lips, silencing her.

"What does the pink one speak of, pony?" He demanded of Twilight, who sputtered at his question. "Do these 'Elements' hold the power to resurrect humanity?"

"I'm... not sure." She returned, halfheartedly. "They're pretty powerful..."

"Where are they?"

"In Canterlot, the city on the mountains, but-"

He dropped Pinkie and stomped off, leaving her to flop around her stretched-out lips. Twilight saw that he was going out the door and in the direction of the city she had mentioned.

"W-wait! Stop!" She galloped after him.

They came to Earth in peace, all but looking for salvation. The world greeted them with open arms. The... Ponies... Were all nice and cheerful. Until... They wanted to take over the world, saying it is unfit for humanity. They attacked. They killed. They... Made humans into ponies. Humans fought back, but crumbled soon after. Except one. He fought with Queen Solar and Heaven King; Celestia and Luna's Mother and Father. He lost and was sealed in ice for two thousand years. Now he's back, and his trigger-finger is itchy for war.

BETA: Chaotic Pony

Cover Image: HeimoBauss

After the 'Canterlot Wedding' incident the Changeling swarm was scattered across the land, enslaved by pony warlords and slavers beyond the borders of Equestria. Weak, desperate and with only a dozen changelings to her name, Queen Chrysalis resorts to summoning one of the most obscure creatures in mythology; a human.

Thanks to zinger906 for giving me the idea for this story.

Featherweight has had a crush on Scootaloo for as long as he can remember, but he never did anything about it. That is, until the fateful day where he is given the challenge to kiss her before nightfall.

Caramel wasn't always a Changeling, but he's going to become one. And he's going to do it for the sake of his very special somepony.

Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, found a small child of another species in the Royal Gardens. After tense thinking, she decided to take the creature under her wing, becoming his guardian. This child, later named Onyx, will try to follow in the path of his adoptive mother. Will he be able to make her proud? Will being a unique creature affect how he’s treated or his personality?
A story of love and family between a mother and her son.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/EO39ot0.png[/img]

(Begins before season one)

edited by xIMPERSONATORx
cover art by Shinonigga