Caramel wasn't always a Changeling, but he's going to become one. And he's going to do it for the sake of his very special somepony.
This could prove to be interesting... fav'd and upvoted
Dude that is seriously a nice intro. Are you going to be writing more by chance?
Wow, I'm really impressed with this. I'm loving your characterization of Caramel. And I'm always impressed when the more obscure background ponies are used. All around pleased. I'm very curious as to your reasoning on this plot, so I must say to you: do go on.
Well,this is new...
Read on general principle, upvote for awesome quality, favorited for intriguing plot.
Could be interesting. Let's see where this goes.
Very intriguing, I'm liking this- watchin'
Excellent start to this, that was fantastic. I'm really loving how you are writing Caramel.
Very interesting; can't wait to see where this goes!
Fun and I want more.
Ah, another fic for my Changeling fix!
The changelings. They remind me of something..
I don't know what to think of this. Need to read more chapters before I can pass any judgment.
Nice and promising start, will see what happens next.
Thanks for the support, guys! Working on the next chapter now; will get it out as soon as possible.
>>16450611645061 If by 'more' you mean subsequent chapters, then yes!
>>16480231648023 Fair enough. I'll make sure to get the next part out soon.
>>16572751657275Oh man thats awesome! Cant wait, shit just got real :D
I'm fairly sure I've never seen this premise before, it's unique of it's own right.
The writing is clean and precise, the emotion sets a tone, and I can see this being an actual even after the wedding. Keep up the good work.
Nice. Pony willing to live with changeling and not the other way around. Nice twist. I like it.
Fun. I wonder how he'll cope in a changeling hive?
Well love makes you do really dumb things so...
Courage and loyalty, two factors for a great hero. Caramel has my support.
Caramel is such a bumbling hero, I love it.
1) Why is Shining Armor such a total douchebag?
2) Why is Shining Armor even IN Ponyville? Twilight and her family lived in CANTERLOT. Twilight hadn't even HEARD of Ponyville before arriving there, remember?
>>16941701694170>>16941811694181 Given the number of fics that feature changelings wanting to become a part of pony society, I was wondering why nobody wrote about ponies who might be interested in doing the opposite.
1) I'm not sure if being a bit of a bully counts as 'total douchebag', since kids at that age seldom have the emotional maturity to understand the consequences of their behaviour. I usually reserve that term for people who are old enough to know better, but still don't act like decent people. At any rate, I just imagined that Shining Armour wasn't always a goody-four-shoes, and I don't think that it really violates canon because sixteen years is plenty of time for someone to undergo a change of personality.
2) You're right, he shouldn't be in Ponyville. But I'm pretty sure that I didn't mention anywhere that their school was in Ponyville. Or Canterlot, for that matter. Ponies may be willing to travel long distances daily for good education, and everyone's free to imagine in whichever town/city these colts and fillies went to school together.
Okay, this story is officially awesome; you have me well and truly hooked. The premise is unique, you seem to be executing it well, I like that you don't portray Shining as completely perfect, and Caramel and his story is very compelling.
This... is... truely... ORIGINAL!!!!!!
I want the next chapter ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!
I personally love the idea and would love to see more!
Congratulations on making EqD with this story!
Greatly looking forward to seeing how this will play out. As others have said, this is a unique premise and it's well written. As for making Shining Armor into a little bit of a bully? Well, if everyone had the same character interpretations, then fan fiction would be quite boring, no? Besides, starting out perfect is boring...
YOU FOOL YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL!!!
Aside from that, colour me intrigued. Will monitor this.
Hmmm, very interesting! I'll definitely keep my eye on this. Great job so far, I can tell this is gonna be great!
Okay, good start. I hope that the backstory kicks in soon!
I demand more. Ignore responsibilities and write ponies.
The horror. Don't blink. DON'T BLINK!
Congrats Raugos. This fic made it to EqD. I haven't been on there in a while, but I kept getting these e-mails saying my comment was replied to and my first thought was Equestria Daily.
Nice job though, I'll be supporting you for afar.
A pony joining in willingly. Now this is new. However, I find myself hoping that they aren't stuck in the hive forever. Now please hurry up and put up a new chapter!
...I'm always such a sucker for romance...
this is going to be an interesting read
This looks very interesting......faved.
Wow. Talk about an eyecatching premise.
This looks fantastically interesting, although I really do wonder how he'll get accepted into the hive. I can't imagine the sorts of struggles he'd go through.
You got a fav.
Quite an interesting concept so far, I can't wait to see where you take it!
>>17038111703811 Mayyyyybe because the only time the ponies saw changelings in the show was when they'd tried to invade and Chrysalis threatened to take over Equestria and use them essentially as cattle...
Not exactly the best way to endear yourself.
Frankly, I would have a hard time believing anypony would want to become a changeling for any reason other than a demented lust for easily-obtainable power. Except that this is Caramel we're talking about. I just hope he wakes up eventually and realizes capturing ponies and keeping them in cocoons to feed upon is rather evil.
When the first pony in a cocoon dies, and they will die eventually, he's going to face the glaring reality that if he totally transforms into one of them, he's not only becoming an enemy of all Equestria (and likely the griffins, minotaurs, and even Diamond Dogs; as I can't see any of those races trusting an love-sucking parasitic race of shape-shifters), but an enemy who deserves all the hatred vented upon them.
Chrysalis doesn't give a rat's ass about the health and safety of the ponies. She treats them as humans treat most of their livestock. If a few die along the way to harvest it doesn't matter so long as there are more.
Also... the transformation aspect. I don't know, it has always annoyed me. With enough magical power it would be possible, but I just don't see the Changelings bothering with it. It would use up a great deal of energy and gain only one more follower, assuming they do decide to trust the pony. Natural reproduction would be far more efficient for increasing numbers. The only times it has ever made sense was when it was used strategically, to convert the Princesses or ponies with access to them. But even then there is always the plot hole that after the missing pony shows up suddenly, no one ever bothers to use detection spells on them, so the story collapses anyway. And with the Princesses, it usually happens too easily, the writer forgetting that Chrysalis' power would have lessened greatly after her defeat (no more love to feed upon), making even capturing the Princesses a very difficult prospect.
I always consider the logistical and common sense aspects of a story. How 'real' and 'rational' are the actions in the given world? Do they maintain internal logic? If based on canon events, does it begin to stray too much such that the canon events would not have unfolded the way they did in the show given the altered conditions and back-stories presented in the fanfiction.
This story has triggered a slight interest in me, in that it's a bit different. However, I worry that Caramel is going to be taking many blows to the head with the stupid hammer should he begin to side with everything the changelings do simply out of 'love'.
Just echoing everyone here. This is a pretty original and intriguing concept, and I really hope you can pull it off. Good luck!
Thankyou caramel for forgetting the mushrooms, you should forget them more often.
Hmm... not a fan of Caramel or the whole changeling thing, but I do enjoy the idea of this story. Fave.
>>17032451703245 1) He was a kid then, most children are like that at some point or other.
2) That may have been Canterlot. It's never expressly stated, and Caramel is a very commonly used background pony. He could live anywhere.
Anyway, I'm liking where this is going.
>>17909241790924 >>17913481791348 >>17910771791077>>17973921797392
Thanks for the support, guys. I'll try not to disappoint!