Chapter 2
Fourteen years before Integration…
Caramel stared at his newly acquired cutie mark. Three blue horseshoes going in a circle. What did it mean, and what was his special talent? Just what exactly did he do to get that? As far as he knew, he hadn’t done anything particularly special that day.
“Maybe your talent is making shoes,” Lucky suggested.
“Or maybe you just like running around in circles,” Shining Armour piped up. He snickered and bumped hooves with the grey colt.
“Yeah, yeah, very clever.” Caramel rolled his eyes.
They were all sitting around a little campfire in the middle of Pebble Woods, under a lightly clouded sky of deep blue and sparkly stars. A sharp gust rustled the great pines towering over them, and quite a few colts and fillies shivered in response. Everypony huddled closer to the fire, but with the wind sweeping over them like that, its warmth kind of got blown away. So some of them resorted to snuggling up to each other instead. Cherry Berry, Minuette and Berry Punch were huddled together in a tight bundle, Noteworthy was nervously pawing the ground as he was hugged by Vinyl, and Lily was lying on the ground next to Roseluck.
Naturally, Sassaflash was right beside Caramel. They pressed together for warmth, shared a look, then shot smug grins at Lucky and Shining together. The two colts were the only ones without filly buddies at the moment, which left them with the agonising choice of freezing their tails off or cuddling together. Personally, Caramel was hoping they’d cave in and do the second. It would provide the class with enough teasing material to last them through till next term.
Shining and Lucky simply glanced at each other before awkwardly shifting to lean on each other’s back for warmth. Not quite enough to qualify, but spiky-maned Vinyl did mouth the word ‘boyfriends’ to everypony. Amidst the giggling and smirks, the two colts didn’t find that particularly funny.
Hee hee! Payback was always so deliciously sweet.
“Gosh, kids, half of you look ready to freeze to death,” said Mister Oakey as he came trotting back to camp. The big, red earth stallion deposited a large cooking pot next to the fire and added, “You should have called for me sooner; I didn’t know that the fire was almost ready to go out.”
As their teacher tossed more wood into the campfire and poked around the embers to help them catch, Caramel’s thoughts wandered back to the cutie mark he’d gotten. He hadn’t noticed when it had appeared, which meant that he couldn’t be sure of what he was doing at the time of its appearance. He certainly hadn’t done anything that was related to horseshoes, that was for sure.
Nopony else seemed interested in talking about it, either. Maybe it was because they’d all grown out of the magical moment, with him being the last in their class to get one. Or maybe they were all waiting until he could actually tell them what it was in the first place. Noteworthy could sing, Shining was protective of his little sister, and Lucky was, well… lucky. Why’d he get saddled with the one that was all deep and symbolic and stuff? At least, Caramel hoped it was symbolic. A talent all about horseshoes was probably about as interesting as watching grass grow.
“Okay, that’s much better,” said Mister Oakey as he gave the crackling logs a final prod. “Now that we’ve got a proper fire going, who wants to help me make the stew?” He rummaged through a saddlebag stuffed to the brim with various vegetables, naming each as he placed them into the cooking pot, “Bit of seasoning, carrots, potatoes, onions, and of course, the special ingredient…”
The stallion paused, staring at the now-empty saddlebag with his eyebrows raised. “Hmm, I was certain the mushrooms were in here. Caramel, where’d you put them?”
Huh, what?
Mister Oakey was giving him a patient but firm look. “Remember the king boletes? You were taking them back for me.”
Oh, right. Caramel had been with the teacher before dark had set in, when they were still collecting firewood and all that. Mister Oakey had been plucking some mushrooms and had asked him to carry the little bag of them back to camp whilst he stayed behind to chop a fallen tree into more manageable pieces. The trouble was that he couldn’t remember what he’d done with them…
“Did you wander around instead of going back to camp like I told you to?”
“Err…” Caramel hung his head. He had wandered off a bit, earlier. He’d spotted some colourful fish swimming in the stream on the way back, and had put the bag somewhere because he didn’t want the mushrooms to get wet as he trotted downstream a bit to watch the rainbow trout. He couldn’t remember for how long.
“Can’t he just go look for them since he was the one that lost them?” asked Cherry Berry.
Almost all of his classmates murmured in agreement.
“Well, I can help,” Sash piped up. Caramel felt a small surge of relief; at least somepony was on his side here.
Mister Oakey shook his head. “It’s dark. You wouldn’t be able to find them.”
“I have good eyes,” the turquoise filly insisted.
The stallion shook his head again and replied, “I’ll not take the risk. And besides, it’s not the end of the world. We’ll just make do without the special ingredient. I’m sure my cooking skills are up to the task!”
Caramel wasn’t paying much attention to Mister Oakey as he rambled on about the basics of making a good stew. He was thinking about what Shining Armour had said earlier, along with their teacher’s words.
‘Maybe you just like going in circles.’ ‘Did you wander around...?’
Three horseshoes going in a never-ending circle. Wandering. Was that his special talent? Being scatter-brained and losing stuff?
“What’re you thinking about?” asked Sassaflash, gently nudging his shoulder.
Caramel blinked and pointedly shook his head. “Uh, nothing. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Sometimes, it seemed like she could see right through him. Gazing into her big, orange eyes filled with concern, he sighed and said, “I’m not sure what to think about my cutie mark.” He followed her eyes to his flank and quickly looked somewhere else. “I mean, do you think I’m, err… forgetful?”
It took her a while to answer. When he turned back, he found her looking at Mister Oakey, who was currently showing a very enthusiastic Berry Punch the basics of making tea. She then glanced at Shining and Lucky, who were chatting amongst themselves. Her eyes narrowed, and she suddenly sat straighter. “Oh,” she said, turning back to him, “are you seriously that worried about your cutie mark? You know, even if your mark means what I think you think it does, you should know there’s more to a pony than a picture on your flank. You decide who you are. I think the pictures only show you half the way there.”
Huh. Caramel had never thought of cutie marks that way. They were kind of a big deal to everypony around here, but maybe ponies from other places had different ideas. “Where did you say you were from, again?” he suddenly asked. “I think I’ve forgotten.”
The question seemed to surprise Sash. Her brows creased, and she seemed to take a moment to think about it before answering, “My hometown’s a bit south of Baltimare, a long way from here. I don’t think anypony here is familiar with it. Why do you ask?”
Caramel shrugged. “I don’t know. You just have different ideas. Sometimes you talk a lot like a grown-up.”
“Oh.” Sash seemed to relax. She smiled and shifted until she found a more comfortable position next to him. A couple of years back, he might have felt nervous about being seen by everypony, but now he was just grateful that she was taking the edge off the cold wind blowing through the woods.
“I just happen to have a strict mom who prepared me well for life,” she explained.
* * * * *
Three months before Integration…
Caramel considered himself lucky that the changelings were so accommodating. He’d half expected them to simply beat him into submission and wrap him up in one of those sticky cocoons that he’d seen during the Canterlot invasion.
Instead, they’d merely stripped him of his saddlebags and hustled him down the tunnel like a dirty animal that nopony was particularly keen on keeping in their house, but had to because it was important to somepony else. The leading changeling had extinguished the light on its horn, so Caramel was basically walking blind, until they came up to the place where his flashlight had settled after its roll down the tunnel.
“Just a minute, guys.” He slowed and bent down to pick it up, but before he could get a hold of it, a black hoof came down hard on its head, shattering the glass and releasing a tiny shower of sparks from the bulb. Darkness swallowed everything up once more, and Caramel glared in the general direction of the culprit and said, “Was that really necessary? I just need a little light.”
“There’s enough light in here, so stop complaining,” the changeling growled in response.
Oh, yeah, tonnes of it.
Sure, there were little lumps of green, luminescent stuff plastered to the walls, but they weren’t exactly the sort of things that you’d trust to light your house, much less a dark, dirty tunnel full of who knows what. At best, they only allowed him to make out the faintest of outlines or silhouettes, and even then only if there were enough of the luminescent nodes clustered together in one place.
He wondered if they could see him rolling his eyes. The quick smack to the back of his head confirmed it, and he was shoved back into a forced march down the tunnel.
They prodded him with their horns if he moved too slowly, and allowed him to stumble or outright bang his head against rocky projections if he went too fast or didn’t watch where he was going.
Oh, that’s right, I can’t.
They proceeded thus for several minutes, and after a while, Caramel sensed that the tunnel was growing wider and branching out. The change in echoes and the sound of their hoofsteps also made it clear that the ground on which they trotted was a lot more solid than higher up. Probably rock.
There were twists and turns, and several times he’d felt something hard and pokey brush past him, clicking and hissing away. There were more changelings in the tunnels now, ones that had businesses other than herding him around, though why they never reacted to his presence was a mystery. Maybe that was how ponies were treated before they got sealed up in a green pod? Hayseed, maybe he should have thought of a Plan B. He had no way of knowing if his ‘escorts’ were even leading him to their queen.
Well, they’d not harmed him excessively so far, so the reasonable part of him decided that he could spare some trust for the time being.
Trusting a creature that is now well-known for deceit? Yeah, there is no way this could possibly go wrong.
The tunnel abruptly opened up into a massive chamber, one that was well lit when compared to the passages he’d been through. There were green orbs that hung from the ceiling on long and dark strands of stuff that looked like dried mucus, emitting a soft, steady green light. Pillars of jagged rock coated in grime rose up haphazardly into the darkness throughout the chamber, and at its centre stood a mound that was seemingly made of silk dipped in sticky mud and glue. It had a single opening at the top which was rimmed with tiny spines, and as they approached it, a tall figure gracefully crept out, silent as a spider.
The changeling queen. She was a match for Princess Celestia in stature, but whilst the alicorn shone with benevolence and kindness in her countenance, the queen seemed to radiate an atmosphere of tension and anxiety. She showed no expression other than a mildly contemptuous sneer, and —
Did she just lick her fangs? His hairs were suddenly standing on end.
“Kneel. You are in the presence of Queen Chrysalis,” one of his escorts hissed in his ear.
Caramel obeyed, and the leader of his captors, the one with thicker armour, bowed to the queen and said, “Your Highness, this pony wishes to join the hive. What will you have us do?”
The monarch, or tyrant, as Caramel was led to believe, appraised him with cold eyes. He shifted uncomfortably. He’d seen that look before; it was the kind of look that a cat had before it started playing with its food.
But in the next moment, the queen suddenly seemed to lose interest. “Toss him in with the others,” she said, waving a holey leg dismissively. “I have no use for him.”
No! He’d not come all this way for nothing. Come fire or lightning, he was not going to leave this place without at least saying goodbye to Sassaflash!
Caramel dug in his hooves as his escorts tried to drag him away and yelled, “Didn’t you hear correctly? I’m here to join your hive!”
The queen was unimpressed. “You seem to be working under the delusion that you’re in a position to make demands, pony,” she replied. “Why should I accept you? You’re an earth pony. You cannot influence the weather, you cannot use magic, and your kind’s affinity with agriculture is useless down here. What could you possibly offer us?”
“Undying loyalty!” he shouted frantically. He’d lost his footing and the changelings were already carrying him off.
Queen Chrysalis gave a sharp chirp, followed by a series of rapid clicks. His captors immediately stopped and unceremoniously dropped him on the ground before skittering off to the edges of the cavern. He picked himself up and trotted towards her, stopping just short of what he assumed was the appropriate personal space of a monarch.
“I mean it,” he said. “I will serve you.”
“Intriguing,” the queen mused, “But I’m sensing an ‘if’ in there.”
“I want to be with Sassaflash.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
Caramel sighed. “She’s one of yours. I… well…”
Understanding dawned on Chrysalis’ face. “Oh my, so it is for love that you’ve come to us! How touching.” She grinned wickedly and added, “Tell me: how did you find out? Was her disguise destroyed at the wedding? Or was it because she told you out of love, out of the hope that you ponies might accept her for what she was? It’s not unheard of, you know, for some of my children to lose themselves on the surface world.”
Caramel remembered, all right, but it wasn’t something he wanted to tell anypony at the moment. “I…”
“What did she do with the original? Come on, don’t stammer, the suspense is killing me!”
“She didn’t replace anypony. She had always been one of yours,” he growled. “And how I found out is none of your business.”
Chrysalis stalked down from her mound until she was towering over him and flashed a toothy grin. “You are aware that you are in my domain, right?”
A sudden pressure clamped down on Caramel, and a quick glance downwards confirmed that he was enshrouded in a green aura. He felt his weight lessen, and he involuntarily flailed his hooves a little as he was lifted bodily into the air.
“Being defiant isn’t going to earn you much patience from me, and crushing you will be pitifully easy,” Chrysalis continued.
Caramel grimaced as the pressure on his body increased, and a groan escaped him as he tensed his muscles in response. It was almost like he was being squeezed from every direction at once. He gasped when he finally needed to draw breath, and the pressure was suddenly gone. The green aura disappeared, and he landed on all fours and only just managed to avoid toppling over. After taking a moment to recover, he turned his gaze upwards, back to the queen.
Show no fear. Come on, you can do it.
Her fangs were so sharp, and her jagged horn was still glowing with menace. This was the creature who had defeated Princess Celestia in single combat. What hope did he have against her? His limbs were quivering, and his bladder felt quite ready to empty itself there and then. But the memory of the day Sash first got her cutie mark flashed in his mind, and he took a deep, calming breath and ignored the urge to simply turn tail and run.
He stood as tall and firmly as he could and replied, “It won’t change anything. I’m still here for Sassaflash. And if you let me speak to her, you can do whatever you want with me after that. I won’t even struggle.”
“Well, at least you’ve got a shell. Or a spine, in your case,” she said, putting a hoof to her chin. She then shot a sidelong glance at the changelings watching them and added, “The swarm could certainly use more with your qualities. The invasion might have gone differently, had that been the case.”
There were quite a few things on Caramel’s mind, but the wedding was pretty low on the list of priorities. “So… may I see her?”
“Fine, you’ll get a few minutes.” She made those hissing and clicking noises again, and one of the changelings replied in kind. She frowned for a bit, but gave a sharp response, and her minion skittered off into the darkness. As they waited for Sash to arrive, Queen Chrysalis trotted in a circle around Caramel, inspecting him in a way that was not unlike how a farmer inspected a vegetable that she was going to harvest.
“You will quickly come to realise that I do not tolerate weakness in my hive,” she said. “How certain are you that this is what you wish to do?”
“I know with all my heart that my place is by Sash’s side,” he answered, looking her right in the eyes. “Besides, I don’t think I’ll be much better off saying no.”
The queen grinned. “True, but at least you won’t need to exercise willpower when you’re in a cocoon. And it will save me the trouble of trying to fit you in with the rest of my children.”
He shook his head. “I’ll join, and not as a victim.”
“Caramel, what are you doing here?” a familiar voice cried.
Whirling round, he spotted her crawling out of a narrow passage. The green lighting in the chamber distorted her colours, but he was sure that they were the right ones. Besides, he recognised the style of her mane and the intelligent curve of her brows. And, of course, her twin lightning bolts cutie mark was unmistakable. He ran straight towards her.
As they embraced, she said with a quivering voice, “Oh, thank the stars. I knew you’d come for me.”
Wait…
Caramel pulled out of the hug and stared at Sash. Her eyes were wide open and watery, and when she blinked, two lines of tears slid down her cheeks. She tried to draw closer, but he kept his composure and continued to look her in the eyes. Slowly, her smile faded. She sniffed, drew in a shaky breath and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Everything.
“How’d I get my cutie mark?” he asked.
She blinked. “What – I don’t understand.”
“Sash, please answer me,” Caramel insisted, gently but firmly.
More tears came, and Sash gave him a reproachful look as she began to sob. “Caramel, why are you asking me this? After all we’ve been through? Don’t you—”
“Drop it,” Queen Chrysalis interjected, “He’s not an idiot.”
Sash blinked, and all at once, her demeanour went from anxious and reproachful to sportingly disappointed. “Drat. What gave me away?” asked ‘Sash’ as her coat, feathers and colours melted away into green flames, to be replaced by a hard, black carapace with a chitinous frill for a mane and stiff, translucent shreds as wings.
Sash was never this sappy.
Although Caramel sort of expected it, he still recoiled when he found himself half-hugging a giant bug in his forelegs. “Why should I even tell you?” he groused as he pushed it away.
“Because he asked nicely?” Queen Chrysalis suggested.
He?
“You had a male pretend to be Sash?” Caramel blurted, staring at the changeling in front of him, which was grinning like a prankster that had just one-upped Pinkie Pie. He wouldn’t have guessed in a million years. All the creatures looked the same to him.
“Is there a problem?” Chrysalis shot him another smirk. “Come to think of it, do you even know if ‘Sash’ is really female?” Her eyes widened for a second, and her expression suddenly became more evil and delighted, if that was even possible. “Wait a minute, have you two ever had, you know, intimate contact?”
“What are you – wait, no!” Caramel felt his hindquarters thump to the floor as he considered the implications of this latest bit of information. They’d never done that, but they had gone a little beyond – no, he didn’t want to think about that right now. He realised with a start that the changelings were making those chittery noises again, laughing at him.
“Jerks,” he growled.
“Meh, just ignore them,” said another voice. It was shallow and scratchy, but its tone was familiar.
Caramel turned to face the source of the voice, and saw another changeling stepping out of the shadows.
“They just want attention,” it continued. “They want everypony to see how cool and clever they are. And that’s needy.”
His eyes widened. “Sash.”
She trotted towards him and pulled him into a light embrace, and Caramel decided that it didn’t matter that she hadn’t changed back into pony form. He hugged her back, hard carapace, holey legs and all.
“Yes,” she said. “And if it will set your mind at ease, I am female.”
“Wonderful. You just ruined everyone’s fun,” Chrysalis muttered. Caramel turned and saw the queen frowning in disappointment. It was almost a sulk. “Oh well,” she added, “at least I have one more surprise for you. Did you know that she was one of your escorts?”
Caramel turned back to Sash and saw her nod silently.
Hayseed. He hadn’t even recognised her when she’d been with him all the way! Was it coincidence that she’d been amongst those taking him in? Which one had she been? Why didn’t she say anything earlier? How could he not even recognise his very special somepony when she’d been right by his side the whole time?
His bewilderment must have shown, for Sash said, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re changelings. It’s what we do best.”
“This is your last chance, pony,” the queen added, striding towards them. “For the amusement you’ve provided, I’m willing to let you go free if you decide you want nothing to do with her anymore. But if you choose to join us, you should know that you’ll be doing it for someone you wouldn’t even be able to recognise if she didn’t want you to.”
Caramel gazed at Sassaflash. Her eyes were now blue and lacked pupils of any sort, but they were still filled with concern for him, that much he could see. The curved, sharp horn on her forehead looked dangerous, but he’d never seen her use it to harm anypony, and he was sure that she would not, ever. It didn’t matter that she was now covered in a black shell, or had legs that were full of creepy holes. This was still the same Sassaflash that had gone to school with him and laughed and cried with him all the way. He hadn’t quite gotten used to the fact that she was a changeling, but by the stars, he was not going to let that come between them. He’d learn to accept; she deserved better from him.
“Don’t throw everything away, Caramel,” she said, averting her eyes. “Ponies are not meant to live under the world.”
“And I’m not leaving you alone with this bunch of jerks,” he said, shooting a glare at some of the changelings present.
“But… why would you do that?”
“Best friends forever, remember?” he replied, lifting a hoof. When she didn’t bump it, he softly added, “And more than a friend.”
Turning towards the queen, he sighed heavily and announced, “A deal’s a deal. I’m all yours.”
He didn’t know, but Chrysalis somehow managed to cram both motherliness and pure evil into that one smile. She gestured grandly at the chamber and tunnels all around them with a foreleg and said, “Welcome to the hive, Caramel.”
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I'm fairly sure I've never seen this premise before, it's unique of it's own right.
The writing is clean and precise, the emotion sets a tone, and I can see this being an actual even after the wedding. Keep up the good work.
-Sturrn
Nice. Pony willing to live with changeling and not the other way around. Nice twist. I like it.
Fun. I wonder how he'll cope in a changeling hive?
Well love makes you do really dumb things so...
Courage and loyalty, two factors for a great hero. Caramel has my support.
Caramel is such a bumbling hero, I love it.
1694170>>1694181 Given the number of fics that feature changelings wanting to become a part of pony society, I was wondering why nobody wrote about ponies who might be interested in doing the opposite.
1703245
1) I'm not sure if being a bit of a bully counts as 'total douchebag', since kids at that age seldom have the emotional maturity to understand the consequences of their behaviour. I usually reserve that term for people who are old enough to know better, but still don't act like decent people. At any rate, I just imagined that Shining Armour wasn't always a goody-four-shoes, and I don't think that it really violates canon because sixteen years is plenty of time for someone to undergo a change of personality.
2) You're right, he shouldn't be in Ponyville. But I'm pretty sure that I didn't mention anywhere that their school was in Ponyville. Or Canterlot, for that matter. Ponies may be willing to travel long distances daily for good education, and everyone's free to imagine in whichever town/city these colts and fillies went to school together.
Okay, this story is officially awesome; you have me well and truly hooked.
The premise is unique, you seem to be executing it well, I like that you don't portray Shining as completely perfect, and Caramel and his story is very compelling. 
This... is... truely... ORIGINAL!!!!!!
I want the next chapter ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!
imageshack.us/a/img221/3391/jdpyt.gif
Congratulations on making EqD with this story!
Greatly looking forward to seeing how this will play out. As others have said, this is a unique premise and it's well written. As for making Shining Armor into a little bit of a bully? Well, if everyone had the same character interpretations, then fan fiction would be quite boring, no? Besides, starting out perfect is boring...
Hmmm, very interesting! I'll definitely keep my eye on this. Great job so far, I can tell this is gonna be great!
I demand more. Ignore responsibilities and write ponies.
Congrats Raugos. This fic made it to EqD. I haven't been on there in a while, but I kept getting these e-mails saying my comment was replied to and my first thought was Equestria Daily.
Nice job though, I'll be supporting you for afar.
-Muffinpatrol
A pony joining in willingly. Now this is new. However, I find myself hoping that they aren't stuck in the hive forever. Now please hurry up and put up a new chapter!
I'm hooked.
...I'm always such a sucker for romance...
this is going to be an interesting read
This looks very interesting...
...faved.
MOAR
Wow. Talk about an eyecatching premise.
This looks fantastically interesting, although I really do wonder how he'll get accepted into the hive. I can't imagine the sorts of struggles he'd go through.
You got a fav.
Quite an interesting concept so far, I can't wait to see where you take it!
1703811 Mayyyyybe because the only time the ponies saw changelings in the show was when they'd tried to invade and Chrysalis threatened to take over Equestria and use them essentially as cattle...
Not exactly the best way to endear yourself.
Frankly, I would have a hard time believing anypony would want to become a changeling for any reason other than a demented lust for easily-obtainable power. Except that this is Caramel we're talking about. I just hope he wakes up eventually and realizes capturing ponies and keeping them in cocoons to feed upon is rather evil.
When the first pony in a cocoon dies, and they will die eventually, he's going to face the glaring reality that if he totally transforms into one of them, he's not only becoming an enemy of all Equestria (and likely the griffins, minotaurs, and even Diamond Dogs; as I can't see any of those races trusting an love-sucking parasitic race of shape-shifters), but an enemy who deserves all the hatred vented upon them.
Chrysalis doesn't give a rat's ass about the health and safety of the ponies. She treats them as humans treat most of their livestock. If a few die along the way to harvest it doesn't matter so long as there are more.
Also... the transformation aspect. I don't know, it has always annoyed me. With enough magical power it would be possible, but I just don't see the Changelings bothering with it. It would use up a great deal of energy and gain only one more follower, assuming they do decide to trust the pony. Natural reproduction would be far more efficient for increasing numbers. The only times it has ever made sense was when it was used strategically, to convert the Princesses or ponies with access to them. But even then there is always the plot hole that after the missing pony shows up suddenly, no one ever bothers to use detection spells on them, so the story collapses anyway. And with the Princesses, it usually happens too easily, the writer forgetting that Chrysalis' power would have lessened greatly after her defeat (no more love to feed upon), making even capturing the Princesses a very difficult prospect.
I always consider the logistical and common sense aspects of a story. How 'real' and 'rational' are the actions in the given world? Do they maintain internal logic? If based on canon events, does it begin to stray too much such that the canon events would not have unfolded the way they did in the show given the altered conditions and back-stories presented in the fanfiction.
This story has triggered a slight interest in me, in that it's a bit different. However, I worry that Caramel is going to be taking many blows to the head with the stupid hammer should he begin to side with everything the changelings do simply out of 'love'.
Just echoing everyone here. This is a pretty original and intriguing concept, and I really hope you can pull it off. Good luck!
Thankyou caramel for forgetting the mushrooms, you should forget them more often.
Hmm... not a fan of Caramel or the whole changeling thing, but I do enjoy the idea of this story. Fave.
Changeling-ness:MLP::Vampirism:Elder Scrolls
Headcanon get.
1790924 1791348 1791077>>1797392
Thanks for the support, guys. I'll try not to disappoint!
1796837
Valid concerns all around.
1. About reversing the premise: I should have worded my previous comment a little more carefully. I didn't meant to imply that joining changeling society is something that ponies should be queueing up for. It was more about the lack of fics exploring the idea. I gotta agree with you there; it's going to be hard to find canon characters who would genuinely want to join them, unless there was the promise of lots of power that could be abused for personal gain.
2. Changelings doing stuff that is essentially evil. No arguments there. We'd better hope that Caramel doesn't take too long to realise that, eh?
3. About their motivations for accepting Caramel: I already have something planned out. I just hope it doesn't overstep the bounds of plausibility.
4. Ah yes, the Stupid Hammer. Or the Idiot Ball, as I've read elsewhere. I'm kinda wary of that, and I'll do my best to keep everypony's reactions and decisions believable. Even with all the stuff people say about love being blind, deaf, foolish or any combination of the three.
I'll have to admit, your points kind of took me by surprise. I'm not sure I have even thought as much about the logistics of the story as you appear to have.
In any case, I appreciate your input. It's comments like yours that will really help us writers to improve!
1801490 I always contemplate the internal logic within the framework of a story.... for I am a Vulcan. *holds hand up with the finger thingy* Live long and prosper.
I expect the transformation will also be quite painful with long bouts of illness. The physiological and biochemical changes will likely result in rather severe imbalances until it nears completion, given how drastically different changelings and ponies are on virtually every level save a passing resemblance.
Heh, you should hear me go on about werewolves, and how they must be vastly more powerful than generally accepted given the tremendous shifts in not just size, but MASS!! They are creating and shedding their own mass at incredible speed with absolute precision every time, which by simple deduction means they must possess immense innate powers. Not to mention the magical scaffold they must have to maintain stability and structural integrity with their tissues shifting around.
I always thought the classic 50's werewolves were the most plausible in a typical monster story sense, as the changes weren't so drastic as to become energetically unfeasible and impractical.
1801839 Hmm, true. But then again, sometimes the author is simply trying to tell a story without getting into the nitty gritty details of how everything is supposed to work. Sort of like how I'm never going to explain how Caramel's mitochondria are supposed to generate enough adenosine triphosphate to sustain his transformation. You know, MAGIC!
1695087 This.
1802664 But even magic has reasons! They teach you all about that at Hogwarts!
Besides, you will please biologists like Calpain and I if you explain how his ATP synthase is upregulated to that degree. Or perhaps it's a modified electron transport chain. Hmmm... acceleration of the NADPH redox via quinolone hyperactivity in Complex II?
How much longer till chaper 3 comes out
this is awesome, keep up the good work.
I like the cutie mark explanation. Also, my hometown is just south of Baltimare. Little shady, no name given.
Sorry if someone else asked this already, or if it's explained later, but Why did Sass have to leave? Any reason why she couldn't just gather his love instead of his turning into a changeling? Just curious. If it's explained later, I'll find out.
Man, this is really brilliant. A concept I've never seen done before, and one that may never be done again. Sharply written, and the pacing, as you continue to begin chapters with flashbacks, is exquisite.
1796837
You know, I always feel the urge to respond to stuff like this, even if I shouldn't be.
You, and a lot of other people, tend to decide that Chrysalis and the changelings are "evil." And why, exactly? Because they're predators.
They have a natural requirement to feed off of love. Unless there is canonical evidence otherwise, their alternative is starvation.
Basically, they have no choice in the matter. While they (or at least Chrysalis) seem pretty apathetic to their prey's suffering, I find it hard to imagine how they would deal with the pain of consciously thinking about how their survival requires harming others, or how they could even relate enough to feel any kind of sympathy. They're an entirely different species, and probably think in a completely different way.
I hate to be a downer, but like I said on Night Guards, there's stuff that goes on that kinda brings me out of the experience. Integration is doing a better job of pulling me in, so far (with Initiation being somewhere between), but I'd still like to point something out.
This is a perfect example of what I meant when I said there's a certain lack of subtlety. The first sentence is fine, but after that I'm in no uncertain terms having something explained to me that I'd already picked up on. It hurts, I tells ya. Sometimes it's more simply that the obvious is stated rather than a paragraph stating too much, but you get the point.
I don't know of you have an editor or anything, but I say all this as well-intentioned criticism. I mean, if me saying anything happens to help... *shrug*
But anyhow, on a random sidenote, I'm wondering what Shining is doing even being around when I get the impression the past scenes aren't taking place in Canterlot. I also don't care about him being a bully, but not everyone reads or buys into the comics. I think it's a valid enough take on his young self, given how he's presented in the show... But opinions. lol
1796837 so like inof the hive? In the stratigic sense?
Wow, Caramel must be Rainbow Dash's long lost brother or something with how much loyalty he just showed.
Yay, someone else who knows mushrooms! :D
So I'm curious about the inclusion of Shining Armor. I mean, seeing him as a bully is one thing, I can buy that. But where are they? Cheerilee shows up later; are they all in Canterlot? Or did he live in Ponyville before moving there? It's honestly the one thing that bothers me about this story so far.
1703811 On that first one: RP, turns out my best friend is a channeling. Activate I can pretend anything mode, brew potion of changeling-ness. RP!
Me likes.
I really like your characterisations. The changelings form a hive, yet there is clearly a lot of individuality there. And Chryssie is both a ruler, a mother and a full fledged personality, not above amusing herself with pranks.
Cya
Raziel-chan
IT´S SYMBOLIC AND MEANS STUFF!!!!
Ok, so here's the thing. Your prose here was so good, I got an actual panic attack in the middle of the following chapter. Like, my hands were numb and everything. This has only happened to me once before, and it was after a medical procedure.
For this reason, you have earned my follow.
Just don't expect me to ever finish reading this particular story.
True Love
lets See what this life will be Now 
This, to me, is the best version of Chrysalis.
https://youtu.be/aqRn19aS5XY?si=avYKZwKSywir6LfM