"Hey, I need to file an insurance claim on my house?"

"Nature of the damage?"

"Oh, a magical bear got dragged into town by a bunch of teenagers to impress their foalish crush and it stepped on my front porch. Also, the next week a god of chaos turned my lamps into sharks and now there's a puddle of milk in my crawlspace."

For Equestria? This is an absurdist tale. For Ponyville's insurance adjuster, it was Wednesday.

A slice of that life, starring the adjuster himself and everyone's ... third(?) favorite glasses-wearing foal.

It's an interesting situation - it's not every day that you get to see the outcome of the road not taken, what might have been. As the married Applejack and Rainbow Dash talk to the dating Applejack and Rarity, they get a bit competitive over who made the better choice.

The other Rainbow Dash and Rarity think it was obviously them.

[A RariDash story that ate what started as a commission for Spamotron]

Starlight Glimmer is the best thing to ever happen to me. She's by my side through thick and thin, and whatever hardships we face, we always face them together. She's an amazing mare and an amazing friend, one who inspires me to be the best Trixie I can be. And in turn, I push her to believe in herself as much as she believes in me. Twilight will never hear me say this, but she's right, friendship absolutely can be magic.

But I want more than just friendship, than being besties. I know it's crazy—she's leagues above me! But I don't care. Tonight, I tell her the truth. Tonight, I'm going to say the three most terrifying words in the Equish language.

Stars help me, I am not drunk enough for this!

Takes place several months after S8E19 "Road to Friendship".

Contains:

• nightly impressive alcohol consumption
• lightly suggestive dialogue
• slightly progressive tonal shift from drama to comedy.
• And what might be excessive expletives for younger readers

Inspired by the oft-covered song "Killing Me Softly". If you're a Millennial or Gen X, you probably know the Fugees' version. If you're a boomer, you probably know Roberta Flacks' cover. But Lori Lieberman is the OG singer and co-writer.

This is my first serious(ish) story in several years, and I'd like to thank Ice Star for helping with the cover; my Google Docs prereaders who I no longer remember the fandom names of because I procrastinated on editing this for almost two years: Rep Hex, –P, Min, Jeremy, yay force, Lightning Flash, and anonymous; and also Aragon for letting me bounce ideas off of him. I sat on this for almost two years, so he probably doesn't remember it lol. The fantastic cover art of best ship is by Imalou.

Thank you so much for reading my first new story in exactly a year, please leave any feedback good or bad, drink plenty of water, and have a blessed day!

You’ve seen Humans in Equestria… but have you seen them done quick? Will PonyRunner420 crumble under the pressure of one frame tricks, uninvited couch commentators, and suspiciously self-aware NPCs, or will he successfully kill Celestia in record time?

A short story about the magic of speedrunning, and it’s power to bring people across the world (and across dimensions) together with the common goal of raising money for charity, and just killing Celestia really fast.

Featured 2023/01/10. You’re supposed to brag about this here right

This story is a sequel to Played for a Foal

Knowledge of the previous story is not required.

The tale of how Anon, a human completely unrelated to the Crystal Empire's royal family, came to be known as Flurry Heart's uncle is a long one. The important part is that Flurry, now sixteen years old, sees him as a role model. She admires his sense of freedom and his carefree outlook on life. That's what she wants for herself, too. Unfortunately, her parents seem dead set on forcing her to be a picture perfect princess.

Ugh, growing up sucks.

After a strange alien creature named Anon suddenly showed up in Equestria, it was only natural that Twilight Sparkle would want to help him adjust to his new environment. To do so, she enlists the help of local school teacher Ms. Cheerilee. With her guidance, Anon should be able to learn how to do things the "pony way," and before he knows it, he'll be another friendly face in Ponyville's growing community.

Unfortunately, Cheerilee isn't exactly a fan of the new human in town, nor is said human particularly happy to be under the tutelage of an elementary school teacher.

Is there any hope of them getting along?

Diamond Tiara had a date. But with whom?

Based on a brainstorming session with Samey90.

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

When Twilight needs a pardon, Celestia is there to provide. When Twilight doesn’t need one, Celestia still provides.

This story is a sequel to Dear Princess Sunbutt

When Anon takes the liberty to inject his particular brand of humor into Twilight's friendship lessons, Celestia feels the need to respond, more often than not.

A somewhat unofficial sisterfic to 2Merr's Dear Princess Sunbutt

There may not be a response to every letter, and letters 1-11 were taken from my comments in said sister-story.

Please support 2Merr's story too if you like this one. This is written with encouragement of the original author.

(Note: Picture used without permission from Derpibooru. Upon request it will be promptly removed.)

EDIT: Apparently someone's done a reading of this and its sisterfic over on Youtube! Why does nopony tell me these things.