The Beating of my Heart.

by Clockworklich

First published

From a strange merchant I got the powers from one of my favorite Video games plus my favorite mythological creature. Great right? Well nothing is free and power is expensive. I lost my humanity, my gender, and my world. This had better be fun.

Ever get guilted by a friend into going to a con? I did. No I didn't want to avoid the con because of the rumors about missing people or even the few that came back claiming to have been sent to Equestria with all the powers of what they were dressed as. I just don't like crowds. Well I think you can see where this is going. I'm now stuck in magic pony land as a magic fox with dark magic coursing through my body, A fanatic group hunting me, and I got to spend a 1000 years experiencing an entirely new meaning to the term getting stoned. All over a piece of Dungeon Keeper Memorabilia!

(This is a Displaced story.)

I now have an editor! Cobalt Comet


Courage Fire also did some work on the first chapter.

Cover image is fan art done by Portal82.

Waking up in candy land!

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"Go little ant go! You’re almost there... Just a little further.." To answer your question, yes I am cheering for an ant. Even with their impressive strength comparative to their size, this particular one is actually pushing half a cookie toward his hill. Now that's impressive! Watching an ant may not be all that exciting, but being trapped in stone leaves little to do aside from watching life go by. Here’s a fun fact: You can't sleep when petrified. So let me tell you that the ant hill was a godsend to stave off boredom. Even then, I needed something to keep myself from going insane and to do that, I needed to keep my mind busy with whatever was available, like some mental and magic exercises. Building up my magic reserves by focusing on them and making them flow through me or assisting in my perception by focusing on small things in the distance and listening to far off sounds and conversations to name a few. Considering how many times I have practiced mind shielding, I must have become a master of that spell by now, among other mental magics.

Though it wasn’t all that bad. Once a week, Celestia would come to visit and talk to me about her day to day, and even Lulu stopped by when she got back from her time out. So let me guess what you’re thinking: If the princesses like you, then why are you in stone?

I'll have you know they love me and I love them in return as I was their babysitter since they were, well babies, and I adopted them when their parents... well I'd rather not go there. See, it was all Discord's fault, as I was there with them when they went after him for the last time after a few confrontations. Everything went according to plan except for one little snag. After the Elements got Discord, much to our shock, the rainbow did a U-turn and got me too! I guess the Elements sensed the dark magic in me and thought I was a threat and decided to go for a two for one deal. Celestia and Luna never were able to figure out how to get me out from my stone prison. As I watched several other ants coming to help Super Ant with the last of his trip I began to think back to the events that brought me here.


1137 years ago


"You must be joking," I said to my friend Tony as he stood at my front door dressed as InuYasha. He was going to an anime convention and wanted to borrow one of my swords as a prop. My swords were, in fact, real. But none of them looked anything like the Tessaiga. However, that isn’t what surprised me. What threw me for the loop was that he wanted me to come with him to the con out of the blue. Under most circumstances, I would have said no outright, but he is my best friend. Well, that and he also brought up the time he bailed me out of jail after what would be later dubbed, “The Pizza Incident.” The mere thought of how ordering a pizza got me in jail just makes my brain hurt. It was all a misunderstanding due to the delivery guy not being able to speak English or something to that extent. So we went to my living room to get one of the swords hanging over my TV. And as an afterthought, I grabbed the Kitsune mask off the wall. They are my favorite mythological creatures and I had a gut feeling I was going to want to hide my face, especially if I had to be around Tony.

The trip was uneventful and thankfully, a boring one, that was until we arrived at the convention center and much to my dread, we were unable to find a parking spot which meant that place will be packed like a can of sardines. Finding a parking spot at a nearby mall and hoofing it over, much to my dread, I was unable to walk three feet without bumping into someone. Oh hey was that Dr. Wolf? No that was someone that just looks like him. I turn to ask Tony what he wanted to do only to realize something I hadn't noticed before. "Tony?"
I hate crowds. Five minutes and I've been separated from Tony, got lost looking for Tony, and I am a little annoyed at what some of the people around me are wearing. A name tag with God written on it. Some people were taking those rumors too seriously. Looking around I see a stand selling video game props and trinkets. Including a necklace for one of my favorite games. Deciding that I should get it now then continue to look for Tony as I doubt I can find my way back if I leave now. I walk over to a beautiful work of craftsmanship. It was a small steel chain with a mini Dungeon Heart from Dungeon keeper 2.

"Do you like it? Though most would say the first game was the best I always preferred the design of the heart in the second one." Looking up at the merchant at the stall who was dressed as the merchant from Resident Evil 4.

"I know me too. I always loved the thumpity thump of the organic heart. How much for this one?" I asked holding up the work of art.

"For you my boy ten dollars. It looks almost like it was made just for you. It even comes with the full package of spells traps and room designs. Oh and don't worry about your soul. This design has been modified not to take it. Of course, this means if you're killed you won't reform at your heart like normal keepers but it also means you won't be dragged into the underworld or permanently banished if your heart is destroyed. Though I wouldn't suggest trying it if you can avoid it. Not the most pleasant experience." He said as he took my money. I gave a courtesy smile at what I think was a joke as I place my new trinket on. But when I lift it up in my palm to admire it a little more I cut myself on it.

"Ouch!" I yelp as I pull my hand away. Strange it doesn't look sharp. I look down in confusion as some of my blood that got on the heart seemed to get sucked in. Bubump. My confusion grew as the small heart began to beat. I got a small headache as my thoughts turned to the create imp spell. Their bodies are constructs that use basic knowledge from their creator so they can understand their orders like advanced magic robots. "Wait, what?" Bubump I grunt in pain as now I'm thinking of the Lair. The floor has some strange magically created carpet like fungus that helps heal and rejuvenate those that sleep in them. Then I hear a tearing sound from beneath my feet as the floor suddenly disappears. With a startled shout I grab on to the floor as I'm dangling on the edge of a hole leading down into a swirling vortex. Bubump Ok I'm getting a migraine now from all this forced knowledge dangling over a swirling vortex of doom and everyone is just standing there WATCHING!? Boom boom boom boom! Looking over to the source of the noise I see a giant of a nerd. 6 feet tall and almost as wide. Makes me think of Fishlips from How to Train Your Dragon. He seems to be dressed as an alicorn princess from the mlp show. His blubber slushing around like a large trash bag full of water. He was sweating profusely from running as he had one arm stretched out, his eyes bulging as they fixated on me. Well, at least one person in this place was willing to help a fellow human being in need. "Take me with youuuuu!" Or not... As he runs forward he jumps up and starts diving toward me! I look up in horror as I see the massive man about to land on me. I scream and in that moment of panic, I let go of the floor and plummet into the portal as it closes just after the giant of a man fell through with me. Now I'm falling through a portal with a lot of stomach falling just over me in what can only be a cruel joke as he is in the belly flop position.


(Meanwhile at the convention.) Everyone was now staring at the merchant with a wide variety of expressions he didn't like. Especially the ones with the God name tags. With a wave of his right hand, he said. "This is not the merchant that you’re looking for." Everyone's eyes shimmered for a moment then they all went back to their own business as if nothing happened.


(Back to me.) I groan as I come to. With each beat of the heart the pain in my head grew until I lost consciousness in the vortex. My headache seems to have passed and I seem to know all the rooms, spells, and traps from the first and second DK games as well as how to make new Dungeon hearts. I try to stand up but fall flat on my thankfully still masked face. I then feel a pair of large meaty hands grasp my shoulders and help me sit up. Or at least mostly as I'm still leaning forward on my...paws? Looking myself over my shirt is torn around were my dungeon heart used to be. but my pants seam fine. What's on the chain now is what appears to be the Horn Reaper talisman. My body is covered in snow white fur and I seem to be in a more dog like body shape. Looking behind me I see 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 tails coming out of a hole that I now see has been torn out of the back of my pants. I look around and see that I am in a square room with a large beating heart in the middle. Around the room were 4 small ugly bug eyed creatures I knew all too well running aimlessly. Facing forward now I look up to see the giant in a pink dress looking down at me with excited eyes. He is still human and still wearing those stuffed wings and horn.

"I'm so glad your finally awake chosen one!" He said with joy. Only to get a confused look from me.

"Mmmfmm..." I balance myself as I use my paws to remove my mask only to see that I had a fox muzzle now. I look back up to the giant that was paying an uncomfortably close amount of attention to me. "What are you talking about? What's going on?" His creepy grin only grew at that question.

"You are one of the chosen ones. Chosen by Faust to come to Equestria to live in a perfect world in a new body!" As he said this he took off his horn headband and looked down at it with a sad smile. "I had hoped that if I went to every con as they popped up I too would have been chosen or if not gotten to go with one that has and become my alicorn OC but it seems it's not to be. Well... that's not creepy. After a short acquired silence, he suddenly got a determined look on his face as he placed the headband back on his head. "No matter though. I may not live my dream as my OC but I will live it! I will pledge my loyalty to you chosen one, I may have never played the game of Dungeon Keeper but I've seen a let's play! Let us go forth in friendship and protect the world as great heroes!" With that he turned and marched over to my heart and placed a hand on it and I instantly feel a link of some kind connecting to him. Reaching up with one paw I jab myself with my claws and wince at the pain destroying my hope that I was dreaming. Thinking about everything that just happened My mind focusses on my voice that I was too confused to hear the difference when I spoke before. It almost sounds like... Sticking a paw down the front of my pants and pull them open so I can look down to see ...I'm a girl now. Well the Kitsunes were mostly depicted as female but not all of them. Why did I change genders? As I pulled my paw back up it brushed against the reapers talisman and I heard a voice in my head. I Know what you are displaced. I have seen your kind and how your kind find war, whether you seek it or not. The Keepers have all but gone extinct and it has been to long since I've gotten to K-k-k-KILL! I take advantage of the power you got as a keeper and give you my own token. Call me in battle so that I may once again bathe in a sea of blood! Well that sounded violent. My face scrunches up in confusion. Why was I so calm? Yes I tend to be the calm calculating type in bad situations but even by my standards I should be freaking out by now. Hmm I must be in shock. I wonder when I'll snap out of it.


(10 minutes later at the palace of the heavens.) Queen Faust jerked her head up in surprise. "Salaris!" She bellowed scaring everypony in the area with her royal canterlot voice. "What?" came a voice that sounded like he thinks he's in trouble but not sure why. Turning she saw her husband was on the other side of the room going over some plans for a new town with some ponies looking to branch out. She looked at him in confusion before blushing. "Our apologies husband. For some reason we thought that somepony was shouting many profanities in the royal canterlot voice but we know not why."


(Back with me) I was on my back breathing heavily, a shaken giant getting back up if a bit drunkenly. "Why did you do that?" He asked me in a voice that said kicked puppy. In my state of mind I could only give one response.

"I'm Having a panic attack you idiot!" I shouted at what can't be a natural volume. Fortunately for him He was ready this time and had his ears covered but it was obvious it didn't help that much.

"Oh, I forgive you then." He said with a smile before it dropped in realization. "Oh, um, hold on a second!" He said as he grabbed a passing imp and rushed over taking the imp's bag and shoving it over my muzzle. "Ok deep breaths deep calm breaths." This went on for almost half an hour as I sorted my erratic thoughts before calming down. Once I wasn't panicking anymore I calmly took the bag off my muzzle and gave it back to the imp that just kept staring at its bag the whole time. This caused the imp to give a happy squeak before going back to its aimless running.

"Thanks for that, um sorry I didn't get your name." I looked up to see he had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hmmm You can call me Strong Heart!" He proudly proclaimed only prompting a look from me. "Well new world new name. What do you want to be called?" This made me think for a moment. My name won't do be any good anymore in this body. This all started because Tony made me go to the con with him. He was dressed as Inuyasha. Shippo won't work. And I'll want a name that's easy to remember.

"Just call me Rin." He gives a nod as I stand on all fours. I figure if we could have asphyxiated in here we already would have but still, I don't want to stay cramped up in this place more then I need to. So using some of my new knowledge I close my eyes concentrating on my territory which allows me to see down on the room we're in threw my minds eye as well as the earth around us to an extent. After planning out a path I can see my Imps get to work and can hear the telltale sound of picks on stone. That's right my minions! Diggy diggy hole!


Present Day.


I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of talking. Focusing on the voice I listen to find out what's going on. "In fact you three have demonstrated discord so well you're each going to write me an essay on it." If I could move my eyes and they weren't already bulging from the surprise the Elements gave me all those years ago they would be popping out of my head. It can't be them. Not yet! But my fears were realized as I saw a school group with the CMC themselves. No no no! Not now! I've been exercising my magic within me growing stronger to break free before him but he's getting out now! Crack What? Looking down I see a crack on my muzzle and watch it grow. Wait why? Oh of course in the show Discord was set free because the CMC were giving off chaos which is his source of power. But his chaos magic is a type of dark magic which is mine! That is awesome!... And a little bit ironic. As I broke free of my stone prison I bolted straight for the palace as fast as I can. There is so much that I want to do now that I'm free but before I can do anything there is one thing I need to do right now that can't wait for anything. I've been holding it in for a thousand years!


"Oh sweet relief." I had a content look on my face as I walked the halls looking for my family. Yes I knew I had a piece of toilet paper stuck to my right ba,ck paw I just didn't care after that horrible experience. I don't know if he knew about me or not but Discord gave all of the toilets legs and they started running away from anyone that tried to get near them. Not that I can blame them, but I finally cornered one in, if all of the paintings and busts were anything to go on, Blueblood’s room. Victory had never been sweeter. After finding and following the windows depicting Equestria's history for a while I finally came to who I was looking for. "Little Celly?" I called out causing her to tense up and slowly turn her head towards me. She looked on me as if seeing a ghost before tears started pouring from her eyes as she charged at me and we embraced.

"Aunty Rin! I've missed you so much!" We simply sat there embracing each other as she cried her eyes out on my shoulder. When she stopped crying she suddenly gripped me tighter in her fore hooves and her horn sparked to life for a moment before fizzling out. "Quick aunty this way!" Celestia called as I suddenly find myself in her telekinetic grip and flying backwards. When she set me down I was seated on a bed in what I think is her room. "Sorry about that aunty but I wanted you away from the maze outside just in case. I don't want to lose you again." That's right. The maze trap Discord set for the main 6.

"The maze?" I ask with my head cocked to the side.

"Yes Discord hid the Elements in it. My faithful student Twilight, one of the new Element bearers, was able to solve his riddle. Twist and turns are my master plan then find the Elements back where you began." Celestia knew I liked puzzles and riddles and smiled proudly as she told me of her faithful student. Though my frown quickly wiped that smile away. "Aunty?"

"Celestia, Your student won't find the Elements in the maze. Twists and turns are my master plan is a misdirection and has nothing to do with where he hid them, only what he plans to do in the future. Then there is 'find the Elements back where you began'. You don't finish a maze in the same place you started that would be pointless. Tell me Celestia, Where were the current bearers when this whole thing started?"

"Ponyville!" She exclaims as she hopped out of bed. "Excuse me aunty I need to get to the maze and warn her at once!"

"Wait!" I call out causing her to stop her teleport and look down at me. Seeing my eyes glow green and give off a wisp of darkness.

"Are you using your special scrying spell?" I give a soft snort. She never did like using the name of the Evil eye spell. But I see what I was looking for.

"They're already in Ponyville. Discord has cursed them into being the opposite of their true selves to break their friendship. And it looks like it's working." A look of Horror passed over Celestia's face for a moment before becoming what I call Celestia's poker face.
"Excuse me aunty I need to send some letters. I'll be right back." And with that she teleported out of her room.

With nothing else to do as I wait for this to play out I begin working on something I decided to do while I was trapped in stone years back. I start by casting the create gold spell several times then began the spell to create a Dungeon Heart. The gold liquefies without melting and forms into a large construct of stone and artificial flesh. I then took a small gem from a pouch I now wore around my neck with the Reapers token. I really need to set up a new dungeon so I can keep my stuff there and teleport it to me using my hand of evil. The gem contained life force stolen from some plant life using necromancy. Cutting myself on the paw and bleeding a little onto it as I poured the life force into it I watched as it began to beat. This is going to hurt. I think to myself as I then shut it down. Shutting down a dungeon heart makes the keeper feel like the one in their chest stopped beating. Of cores having it destroyed is far worse and sends you flying on a little trip through the void to pop out a good distance away. Using a shrink/growth spell I found on my first heart I shrank it down to pocket size before casting my portal spell creating a hole in Celestia's floor as 4 obelisks raised around it. "I am Rin the Dungeon Keeper. If you are a hero fear not my darkness for I am immune to its taint. If you need my aid in battle or my expertise in dark magic call me and I'll come if I can." I drop the small heart into the void and watch as it breaks up into many hearts as it scatters and one by one swallowed by the darkness. My task complete I close the portal and watch as the obelisks sink into the ground and the hole seals up leaving not even a scratch.

"Well I'm bored." I said aloud as I hop out of Celly's bed and start looking around. it would be rude to rummage through her private things. Hmm what would be ok to stick my nose in? I smile as I look at a bookshelf and decide to bone up on my history. As I was pulling a book down I sensed shadow magic rapidly approaching. Turning and preparing a spell just in case I relaxed as I see a swirling wisp of shadow forming into the body of Luna. That changed as I realized that she was in motion midair as she Glomped me. "Ouch."


It was now after the fact at the celebration of Discord's defeat and aside from getting some odd looks from everypony I was standing proud with Lulu on the side. Celestia had just finished her speech and everypony was about to go outside. But not yet. My playful side just could not pass up the Opportunity to do what all parent like figures must do every now and again. I march forward as I use my size spell on myself to grow larger quickly grabbing the attention of the entire room as I tower over them. Pulling a book which I also grew to a large size to fit my stature. It looked like the entire room was about to make a run for it till the sound of one of they're princesses voices caught there attention.

"No! Aunty Rin please we beg of thee spare us!" This caused the crowed to stop and stare. Wondering if they really heard her call me her aunty and if I were then why would she beg me to spare her?

"Now little ponies behold! You will now bear witness to Celestia's and Luna's..." Giving a dramatic pause to drink in the sight. The crowd looked afraid, Luna was still begging, Celestia just had a resigned look, Pinkie was taking full advantage of my dramatic pause to shoot off as many guesses as she can. Twilight looked confused by Celestia's reaction, RD and AJ looked ready to fight. Rarity looked afraid and slightly annoyed that Fluttershy was using her as a hiding spot. "Baby pictures!" I open my book to the first page to show it to the crowd. Throughout all of Canterlot everypony heard Princess Luna's Royal Canterlot "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Bad First Imprisons.

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"And this is little Celly and Lulu when we caught them trying to sneak a peek at their Hearthswarming presents." The picture on the page showed presents under a tree. However it can clearly be seen that a blank white flank was sticking out from behind one of the box while toddler Luna's plan to hide was to put one of the present's bows on her head and tried to pretend to be a doll. A large nervous smile on her face. Unfortunately my audience has been greatly decreased by Luna threatening the crowed with treason if the stayed any longer to look at the pictures after I showed one with them in monstrously bulging diapers. I don't see what the big deal is. Alicorn bodies require a lot of energy and their diets reflect this. Did all of Celly and Lulu's subjects think it all disappears? Fortunately My insistence on having ponies to show them off to and their hero status allowed me to keep the main 6. This latest picture got me more dawwws from the ponies I now have seated around me. Though Dash looks bored now which is a shame because watching the faces she made while she was trying to force herself not to laugh while the princesses were watching was kind of funny. And I keep catching Applejack giving Celestia and Luna looks of pity. I guess if any one of them knew the humiliation that is baby pictures it would be her.

"Aunty it's dinner time, and I'm sure Twilight and her friends will need to get back to their homes." The pleading look Celestia was giving the main six unfortunately got her what she wanted.

"Ya um, gotta be up early to work on the farm. No day off for a town wide celebration for beating Discord or nothing." Said Applejack as her lips puckered up like she tried to eat a whole lemon and her eyes started rapidly shifting from side to side.

"But Applejack don't you remember? The parpmph!" Pinkie was quickly silenced by an orange hoof in her mouth.

"That's right lots of work tomorrow. For all of us." The way Applejack emphasized that last sentence clicked in the pink pony's head causing her to nod vigorously.

>>"Yeperoony I have lots and lots to do like bake cakes cupcakes brownies muffins cookies pies domph!" Pinkie once again had Applejack's hoof in her mouth only this time she kept trying to talk threw it. Well at least she knows she's supposed to be lying to me now but I'm not sure she understands why. The idea of being embarrassed by family photos must be alien to her.

"So sorry darling but I need to finish a custom order dress. I simply must be going." Rarity, my potential cash cow. I hope spider's silk is as valuable as it was before. The good thing about being a Keeper in Equestria is no matter where I set up my dungeon its almost guaranteed to have a gem seam close by. The bad thing is gems are pretty worthless because of that. Only creatures that would accept it as pay are diamond dogs and dragons. I don't like the dogs because they would constantly be trying to jump me for my leadership unless I traumatize them first. And dragons are too proud to be worth trying to recruit any at the moment. And conjured gold is even less valuable as it's basically counterfeiting that any unicorn can tell is fake.

"I should get back to my animals. They need to be fed soon." After it was made clear I wasn't another ancient evil Fluttershy warmed up to me fast. Not surprising considering I'm a fox.

"Ya I need to get back to training for the Wonderbolts." Dash boasted.

Twilight was shaking a little while grinding her teeth. "Of course. I should get back to my studies." Said Twilight before doing Cadence's breathing exercise. Poor thing, I can tell she's been burning to ask me some questions this whole time waiting for an opportune moment. The only thing holding her back is probably my relation to Celestia. And now she's being asked to leave before she can ask even one and it's killing her inside. I suppose I can offer to have a tea time chat with her so she can ask her questions then. But I don't want to spend hours answering questions that I'll more then likely have to sugar coat or lie about. Celestia would get so mad at me if Twilight got interested in learning about anything dark. Which is a shame because she would be a great researcher.

"Alright." I say as I close my book. I think I've embarrassed them enough for now. I hear Luna give a sigh of relief as I shrink the book and return it to my bag. I give my last goodbyes to the main 6 as they leave before turning back to Celly and Lulu. "So what's to eat?"

Apparently everything. Yes I know Alicorns need to eat a lot for a healthy diet and in quantity this would be an average meal but I've never known them to have such a variety before. I don't think there is a type of fruit or veggie on the planet that's not on the table. They must have done it for me. How sweet. "So anything noteworthy happen while I was away?" I ask as I fill my plate with several things from the sampler platters on the table.

"Well, The under cities you established were abandoned some time after your petrification. No idea why, the inhabitants just seemed to vanish one day." Well that's odd. "We also had your dark artifacts moved to our castle for safekeeping. But we missed some and somehow they wound up in old ruins and were recovered by an archeologist and are currently residing in the Canterlot museum." Hmmm not too concerning. I was careful to make them relatively harmless. The worst one was a cursed quill that made whoever used it have everything they did narrated by the disembodied voice of Morgan Freeman for a few days. Not as fun as it sounds. Celestia then summoned some Daring Do books to show me. One of which caught my attention immediately.

"Bwahahahahahahahaha! Daring Do and the Stick of Trolling!? That thing made it into a museum? That's hilarious!" The cover of the book showed Daring Do holding up what looked like a tree branch like a sword. Ready to bring it down on what looked like the pony equivalent of Pegasus from Yu-Gi-Oh. Golden eye included. That thing was the result of my study of the poison joke flowers. The enchantments effects were instant but didn't last long. How did my simple, harmless toy warrant a novel? That thing can't even leave a bruise!...Great now I miss it. Note to self, make a new Stick of Trolling next time I find a big stick.

"Also your friend Strong Heart founded an organization dedicated to protecting the innocent that he named The Goodly Heroes. Unfortunately it didn't last long after his passing." I rolled my eyes at the little joke that Strong made when naming his group. " The rest you can find in the history books. We can get you a room set up next to ours. It will be great having you live with us again." I cringe slightly at that.

"Sorry Celly. But I'm going to be setting up shop in the Everfree." Oh don't give me that hurt look.

"Must you make another one of those dreadful things? Things have changed in the time you've been gone. You don't need a dungeon or minions. You can stay with us." Celestia pleaded.

"Sorry Celly but I'm not going to be a moocher. I'll make my own home and bits." I also need to make preparations. After being exposed to the void a few times when I lost some hearts, I saw things. It's happening now. Throughout the multiverse the majority of them are waking from their imprisonment. There are those I would gladly call friend but there are others that bring not but death and destruction. Things that can kill even you two. I won't let that happen here. Not to you or you're little ponies. "And no Luna. I can't set up under Canterlot. You know the things my heart will attract. I don't think the ponies here would care for such things marching to this city." Oh don't you start giving me that look to Lulu.

"Aunty Rin is there something you're not telling us?" Celestia was giving me a suspicious look now. Whoops, I must have gotten a little transparent with my thoughts there. Winning smile time.

"Nothing you need to worry about." As long as I have anything to say about it. "I'll get some giant spiders and start production again. Spider's silk is still valuable right?" Celestia nods. "Good... Oh don't look at me like that. Tell you what, pick a room you're not using for anything and once I'm set I'll make a permanent portal connecting to my dungeon. We can still see each other every day I just won't be living here." I can also use it to recruit some vampires later on. There must be some not in a coven in Canterlot. They're always trying to give off an aura of nobility. The very embodiment of class and grace.


(Meanwhile in the line of petitioners waiting for night court.)

Red Velvet, a noble of an old and respected bloodline in Canterlot. A perfect image of beauty and grace. Was waiting to petition the princess of the night for funding for a new hospital in the town of Sweetoats. The town's population has grown reasonably large and they're one doctor's office just won't cut it anymore. And with a new Hospital it will bring in more of the wealth, and therefore power she craved. Ppppppppppppppppppppfffffffffffffffffffffffffft Red's eyes shot open in disgust as she backpedaled into the pony behind her. "How dare you, you disgusting commoner!" Red shouted at the pony in front of her. She couldn't believe that a pony would just cut one while waiting in line to see royalty! This was made worse by the fact that the pony body shape and tendency to go around naked meant that it was literally done right in Velvet's face with nothing blocking it. The pure white unicorn with an electric blue mane turned to Velvet with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Hehe... Woops, sorry about that. I forgot that anypony was back there." Said Vinyl to the unfortunate pony behind her. She had gotten to the palace as soon as she heard the rumors about a giant fox with several tails showing off baby pictures of the princesses. So she was fortunate enough to be first in line. That fox could only be her old boss finally free from stone. She made good friends with her while in her service years back and it will be good to see her again. Vinyl wondered if Rin would even recognize her anymore.


(Back with me.)

Celestia was still not looking convinced. I guess the thousand years looking after her little ponies and dealing with selfish nobles has taught her to be better at reading others. "Look it will be fine. I'll run my business, you two will keep this kingdom safe and functional and we'll still stay a happy family. And together we will keep our homes peaceful and nothing is going to change that." I say with my most comforting smile. "If I'm lying may I be struck down where I sit!" I felt a sharp pain and everything went black.

"nty Rin! aunty are you ok?!" I groan and I pull my face out of my food.

"What happened?" I asked while rubbing the back of my head.

"Twas an assassination attempt!" Bellowed Luna angrily. This caused me to tense up. Assassin?! I just got out, what did I do to have an assassin sent after me? Looking around the room I see that guards are now searching the room for my attacker. Along with one stereotypical trench coat wearing detective.

"I'm sure it wasn't an assassination attempt Luna." Celestia corrected.

"Twas assault!" Luna corrected herself. "Thou were struck down by a rogue flying banana!" Loading... loading... done. What? At my look of confusion Luna produced a forensics bag containing a golden, slightly glowing banana. Wait, is that?

"let me see that." I say as I take the bag from her magical grasp and pull the cause of my headache out. I smile widely as I hear a message in my head. "This wasn't assault Luna it's a friend request."

"Art thou saying there is a custom where one makes friends by rendering another unconscious with flying bananas?" Luna had an incredulous look on her face.

"No Lulu, remember when you two were little and asked me why you haven't seen others like me and strong around?" When they gave a nod I continued. "Well theres others like me out in other worlds. This is a way we get in touch. Its like a message in a bottle that seeks out others like me in other worlds. I'm sure he didn't intend to hurt me."

"I see." said Celestia before turning to the investigators. "False alarm everypony. You may return to your posts." As the ponies left I heard the voice from the banana in my head again. Hey Rin this is Donkey Kong. I could really use your help with something. Mind helping an ape out?

"He just contacted me. He said he needs help. I'll be back as soon as I can." I say as a begin creating a portal.

"Just be careful." Said Celestia with a worried look. I give a smile and a nod as I jumped in. Not expecting that Luna would jump in after me.


(A short while later) Luna and I rose up out of the portal in the ground just before it closed behind us. "That was horrible." I said as I just stared forward in shock.

"We can't believe that other Luna came on to us." Luna said just as horrified as I was.

"I can't believe he wanted me to build a dungeon just to attract dark mistresses." I reply. There's a word for people like him.

"We will never be able to look at whipped cream the same way again." We both look down at our filthy bodies as we both give a shudder.

All this time Celestia was staring wide eyed. Struck silent by our appearance and the things we were saying. Standing up I walk over to Celestia and placed a miniature dungeon heart at her hooves. "Here, you can use this to call me in an emergency. Now I'm going to borrow your bathroom for a while." I tell her before walking off. Luna teleporting shortly after. Presumably to her own bathroom. Celestia shifted her gaze between the small dungeon heart and the direction I left in. Having no idea what just happened.

Several hours later...I still don't feel clean. But I used up all the hot water and was starting to feel sore all over from all the scrubbing. As I walk out of the bathroom looking like a white Fluffle puff, I find Celly sleeping peacefully in her bed. Smiling I went over to her desk and wrote her a quick note.

Dear Celly and Lulu. Went out to make new dungeon. Be back tomorrow. Please have any of my old stuff you might still have ready. Love Rin.

P.S. Sorry Celly I used all of your shampoo. And a few other things in bottles I was unable to identify.

Leaving the note on her bed I walk out to her balcony and close the door so the sound of my portal won't wake her.


(Unknown location.) Commander Hunter sat at his desk looking through some paperwork when loud knocking was heard from his door. "Enter." He commanded as he looked up at the pegasus that came into his office. "Ah Swift Retreat. Are you here to tell me the job is done?" The pegasus shifted uncomfortably at the question.

"N-no sir. The evil one has not been destroyed. And is still standing on its pedestal in the Canterlot garden." Swift shrank under the commander's harsh glare. "We felt there was a more pressing issue! When scouting the area for any lingering surprises it might have left, one of the teams witnessed a strange creature publicly humiliating the royal sisters. They were helpless against it! They didn't even try to resist. The unicorn in the party was able to detect strong dark magic within the creature." This was disturbing news. A creature of darkness running loose that has some kind of power over the princesses? Who knows what Kind of devastation that could cause.

"Very well, I want a full report on this creature ASAP Discord can wait we need to destroy the immediate threat. Dismissed!" With a sharp salute Swift Retreat made a swift retreat from the office. Leaving his superior to his thoughts. Looking out of his window at the subterranean stronghold he was currently in charge of. Hunter's eyes fell on the memorial statue in the middle of the courtyard. A strange creature by anypony's standards that looked more like it could beat anypony in nothing but an eating contest. From its back grew a pair of wings and from its head grew a unicorn's horn, The plaque at its base read.

In memory of Strong Heart. Our founder, a brave warrior and protector of the innocent. He will always be our princess.


No crossover this chapter. I used a displaced created by Flutters is shy's for the story Applegate as a joke character. I decided to use it for my own story when reading his awhile back. Hope you don't mind Flutter. :)

Bonus Chapter. My Pet Dungeon #1

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Elegant Notes looked at me through her new glasses. Her rather villainously swirly mustache twitched slightly. Looking at her I can see that she practically had the words 'Snootier than you' written all over her face. Well ok it was just on her forehead. "Really?" She asked with a deadpan stare. Seemingly not at all bothered by the fact that she's being held like a toy by a giant fox.

"Hey, you agreed to this. You wanted an interview and I wanted entertainment. It's a win-win!" I reply as I use my other paw to carefully make small strokes with the paintbrush around her nostrils making them look comically large.

"When I agreed to give you entertainment I was thinking more along the lines of buying you a ticket to Chaos Land." She said with exasperation.

"Oh please, I have a lifetime pass for giving Discord the idea in the first place. Besides, look at it this way. I am a dimension-hopping fox that's also royalty. I have been living on this planet for almost three thousand years now and you're the first to get an interview with me. Well, the first in this world anyways." That gave her pause.

"Fine. I suppose there's no harm done. I'll just wash it off before I leave." You wish. This stuff won't come off for weeks. "Ok we all know how you first came to be in this world but little beyond your first moments. So tell us about your life in your first dungeon. Starting with day one." Taking a moment to look away I hum as I recall my past.


2984 years ago.


Ok, getting a little pissed now. When I first sent my imps at that wall it didn't take long to hit the (un)holy grail of the dungeon keeper games. A gem seam was only ten feet from where they started digging. As one would imagine I was quite happy about this. So I had my imps dig a room around it to act as a small treasury and left one imp to keep mining it. Of course I took a few moments to watch first. I wanted to see if the infinite wealth thing actually translated from the game to real life. Turns out it did. The picks must have some kind of geomancy enchantments on them. Not only do they teleport the dirt they dig to...somewhere. But when they strike gems the gems will grow as fast as the pick will harvest them. It kind of sounds like slowly crushing chucks of ice when they do. Satisfied I took my remaining imps and started digging on the wall to the right of my new treasury only to hit a gem seem almost as quickly. I shrug it off and decide to just go around it only to find more gems just after that. Now trying my luck with the wall opposite the treasury...Guess what I found? I know this is my first dungeon and all. And it's always supposed to be easy on the first level but what did the guy that sent me to this place think I would do with all of them!? I'm the kind of guy, or I was the kind of guy that likes to make his dungeons in a certain pattern. Depending on the lay of the land. But since I can't get rid of any of these gem seams I've been forced to constantly deviate from my intended path. Even when taking advantage of the fact I can now work with three dimensions instead of only left right forward and back. Meaning my dungeon is now a twisted mess of tunnels resembling the inside of an ant hill and the rooms are awkwardly shaped. "Rin?"

"Yes Strong Heart?" I ask as I massage my temples with my paws.

"... I'm lost again." I give off a groan.

"Where are you trying to get to?" I asked as I close my eyes and try to find him.

"Have you built the bathroom yet?" He asked in a hopeful sounding voice. I pause as I search my mind for the knowledge. I do have some room designs that weren't in the game. Like the inner sanctum which was to be my bedroom. But as I look through them I realize that I can't actually make a bathroom. With an annoyed snort at this I just decide to improvise. I drop one of my imps in one of the rooms too small for anything else and just had it dig down. Looking to the library I grab some of the blank pieces of parchment for the warlocks to write on and set it next to the hole before grabbing Strong Heart and dumping him next to it. Sorry little imp. But I need you to keep digging till you can't dig anymore. I'll give you a mercy killing with a thunderbolt spell when you're done.

Later that day I was experimenting with my new magic powers in the hatchery. At the moment I was slowly filling one of the eggs with dark magic. This is my seventh try and I think I'm doing it slow enough to keep it from exploding like the others. As the egg starts to crack I stop what I'm doing and dive behind a corner. When all I hear is a pop I look and see that a chicken did hatch from the egg. Only its eyes were glowing green. With an angry "BAWK!" it charges at me. Jumping over my head while flipping me the bird (No pun intended) with its feet before landing and gunning it down the corridor. Closing my eyes and focusing I see that the renegade chicken was heading toward Strong Heart. "Stop that chicken!" I yelled out causing him to turn in confusion. Wait, are those cheese puffs? Where did he get a bag of cheese puffs?! Apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed this as the chicken jumped up and grabs the bag out of Strong's hand.

"No! That's my only bag!" He shouted in panic as he charged at the chicken that appears to be mocking him by wagging his tail feathers as he kept ahead of the charging giant. Weaving through the labyrinth that is my dungeon before Strong Heart managed to corner it in the library. Seeing its only exit was blocked by Strong's massive form the chicken twisted its head to set the bag on its back and raised its wings to hold it in place. Clawing at the ground as if ready to charge. Strong met the chicken's challenge with his own. Cracking his knuckles and neck while giving a growl. The chicken made the first move, charging forward the chicken fainted to the right but moved to the left, narrowly missing Strong heart's massive hands. The chicken moves in and gives a mighty peck to his ankle causing Strong Heart to lift his foot by reflex. Do to the fact he was leaning forward at the time he lost his balance and fell forward but quickly pulled himself into a ball and rolled back onto his feet. Turning, Strong moved in on his opponent causing the chicken to move behind a bookcase. Instead of chasing it Strong used strategy and knocked the bookcase over. But the chicken jumped between the empty shelves giving a swift peck to his nose before twisting mid air and catching Strong Hearts arm with its legs using his strength to send itself rocketing through the air. Turning to look for the chicken that was now hiding somewhere in the library Strong slowly walked the side of the library. Looking between all of the bookshelves. When he turned in to look on the other side of the room I saw the chicken run out from under the turned over book shelf and running up it. Jumping up and kicking the top of it as hard as it can, its weight was just enough to get the next bookshelf it was leaning against to fall over causing a domino effect. Strong Heart quickly realized that the chicken was using his own trick against him and ran to escape but was to slow and was pinned down under them. To add insult to injury the chicken walked in front of Strong and dumped the bag of cheesy treats on the floor and began to peck away at it's hard earned prize.

"Well...That was surprisingly epic." I said to myself after watching the fight. I'm not sure what's sadder. The fact that he lost to a chicken or the fact that I'm seriously considering hiring that chicken. And that was all that happened that day. Other than Strong Heart spending the rest of the day in the training room and I had to build a second lair for my new minion Cluck Norris to keep him and Strong Heart from fighting.

The Dead! The Bouncy! The Brains! And The DOOOOOOOM!

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Zzzzzzzzzzzz... A new creature has entered your dungeon! "Aaaahh!" I screamed as I jumped out of my king sized bed. Oh right. I forgot it did that. I had a productive night. First thing I did was create a new stick of trolling. Then with the evil eye spell I was able to find a small cave next to a river to create a new dungeon heart in. I let it create some imps and dug down. Moving the heart was easy and now I have a large dungeon deep beneath the Everfree. Well ok I only built the Inner sanctum, a few layers, hatchery, training room, and three treasuries but I already have the space for all the other rooms ready when I decide to build them. I created Cluck Norris the 3rd. Shame I can only have one at a time. Once tried to make an army of super chickens. But turns out they kill each other by instinct leaving only the strongest. Had the walls fortified then had the imps train with Cluck in the training room except one to mine one of the ten gem seams to keep the magic of the room working for them. Unfortunately unlike in the game it takes a while for anything the heart will attract to get here so I just went to bed.

I close my eyes and look to see what I got. I was hoping for a spider so I can start getting bits for the minions that want to be paid but no it was just a timber wolf. Oh no wait it's seven timber wolves. Well at least now I have a small force to guard my dungeon while I'm away. After I feel them connect I pick them up with my hand of evil and drop them off in the lair to make their beds then moved them to the now empty training room to get to level 4. Task done I turn back to my bed to see that it's covered in random things.

I giddily hop back into bed to look thru all of the tokens. Let's see glove, some rings, few masks, another glove, comic book? I grab the comic and lay back in bed to enjoy the adventures of Dr. Doom. This is a fun way to advertise what kind of displaced you are. I turn to the next page only for my eyes to pop open in surprise. Is he and Lyra... And is that Gilda? IS SHE!? I decide to skip a few pages. How embarrassing. I don't think he's going to be happy when he finds out what every displaced that has his comic can see. Still he seems like an ok guy. Yes he's being a bad guy but in a good way. I grin widely at the thought of fighting crime while playing super villain.

Closing the comic and placing it on my night stand I look back down at the others and gasp. "Bouncy ball!" I cry and give it a good wake. I grin as I play with my new toy but soon that grin turns into a confused frown. I catch it on its return trip and hear its message in my head. “Hello… My name is Fourth Wall. If you need help, I’ll come and LAY A SMACK DOWN- Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. I will help you, anyway I can… As… as long as you aren’t mean…” Pinkie Pie? I shake my head and refocus on what caught my attention in the first place. Of all the dark magic in the world necromancy has always been a favorite. Need a sickness cured? Need flesh and bone restored? Free minions? You can even get around the dark spells requiring live sacrifices by substituting life force stolen from plants. As such I became a master at it. In fact it's the reason I chose the Everfree. Everything in this place hunts something else so no shortage of cadavers to turn into undead minions. Which brings us to my confusion. It bounces and makes bonging sounds when it does. It squeaks when I rub it. Its smell, its feel all tell me that it is in fact a rubber ball. So why does my necrosense tell me I'm holding a dead body? Or at least a part of one. Deciding on a experiment I try a reanimation spell on it and am surprised that it jumps out of my paws and starts bouncing around the room on its own. What's more is I can feel the link from my dungeon heart telling me that this thing has just become my minion. I just created an undead bouncy ball... "How does that work!?" Oh great here comes the headache. "Stop that!" My shout causing it to suddenly stop bouncing and roll into a corner in the room to await further orders. I decide to just let it sit there as I hold my poor head. Using my eye of evil I look above ground and see that it's morning so I move the other tokens to the bottom dresser drawer, gave my imps a mental command to go find me some bodies and created a portal to the plaice.


All eyes in the royal dining hall turned at the sound of opening doors as a large fox walked in. "Hey! Sup fluffy! Long time no see!" Looking over I smile at the familiar face of DJ pon-3 at the table. Or as I knew her, Victoria Song.

"Oh great, is this another commoner? How dare you break into the royal palace you filthy beast. Guards! seize this er... thing at once and lock it in the dungeon!" Prince blueblood was looking at me like I was a diseased rat. Looking around at the guards I see that not only are none of the guards moving but some of them were grinning like the Cheshire cat. Apparently word gets around in the guard. "What are you useless excuses for lackeys doing just standing around? Do what you're told!" A new creature has entered your dungeon! I cringe at that. My headache still lingering from trying to comprehend the bouncy ball.

"Are you alright aunty?" Asked Celestia in a concerned voice. OH! A camera! I need a camera! Blueblood’s face!

"Yes I'm fine. Just a small headache." Necromancy should not work on inorganic matter!

"Were thou assaulted by more bananas?!" Luna demanded with an angry tone. I just shake my head at this.

"No just an undead, rubber bouncy ball." Wow the room got quiet fast.

"Only you Rin. If anypony else said that I would think they were joking or crazy." Vinyl said with a shake of her head as I walked over and took my seat.

"Well as interesting as the story behind that might be, let's get back to discussing the problem at hoof." Said Blueblood as I feel the presence of Celestia brushing up against my mental barrier asking me to open up. I drop the shield and join the princess chat room.

Sorry about that aunty. I don't know what I'm going to do with him.

It's ok Celestia. What's he going on about anyways?

During Discord's mayhem sompony took advantage of the chaos and did something in his room that's not appropriate to talk about when ponies are eating.

He doth want us to hire the world's greatest detectives to track the pony down.

LOL

Can we talk about something more pleasant?

Who was that?

Aunty this is my niece Cadence. Cadence this is my aunty Rin

Hi/nice to meet you

Wait, what's that?

Oh man oh man, Princesses in my head! Don't think about clop don't think about clop...Stupid brain I said stop thinking about clop!

Victoria

Its Vinyl Scratch now.

Vinyl, we only hear what words your thinking we can't see any images.

...I knew that.

Riiight. Anyways, about my things?

Your dark artifacts are in your room. Which is next to ours. Its also where you can set up the portal. I also sent some books for you so you can catch up.

Awww, Thanks Celly!

Why does she need dark artifacts?

They're my toys.

YOUR TOYS!?

Don't worry it's not as bad as it sounds. I'll explain later.

ok

So Vinyl, interested in working for me again?

Hmmm. Sure, But I'll still need to do my DJ thing when it pops up and get back home to my filly friend every day.

Does she know?

Yes.

Know what?

Also might need some time to earn some bits. Just restarted and am working to attract some spiders.

Attract spiders?

I trust you. Besides the job comes with some nice perks. You can have so much fun when you don't need to worry about staying dead.

...I'm so confused.

Breakfast was enjoyable but I was excited to get my toys and new books back home. I decided to place the portal in the closet and created a few imps to place my books in the library I just made. Vinyl was taking a quick nap in a coffin so she can bond with it. I just finished setting up a workroom for the three spiders that showed up while I was away. No that's not a room design but if I know how it works I can make it. And all it is, is a room with some poles and some large roles for them to spin their silk on. Still waiting on my library shelves to be set up I head to the room I told my imps to store the animal bodies. I felt a few sources of dark magic in the forest but decided to leave them alone till I had my dungeon and some minions. I know at least one is the inspiration manifestation in the castle but I think I'll send some skeletons for that one. I don't want to get too close to that tree after what the Elements did to me. When I got to the room I was struck motionless by what lay before me. I have no problem with the dead. Got used to them long ago. No it's the kind of dead rotting in the pile that stopped me cold. I lashed out with one of my tails and wrapped it around an imps neck before bringing it up to my face. "Where did you get all of those pony bodies!?" Knowing they won't be able to talk till they're much stronger I drop it and use the possession spell on it to look through its recent memories. A pile of dead ponies in a cave close to a city on the other side of the forest. All with the same puncture wounds in their heads as the ones in front of me. After taking a moment to learn its location I jumped out of the imp's body and begin creating a portal to it.


Outside an Everfree cave close to Manehattan four obelisks seam to tear their way up out of the ground creating a large hole that a rather pissed looking fox floated up out of. Armed with my stick of trolling and a few empty gems to fill with this creature's life force. I march in to slay the monster. The cave was filled with the festering smell of rot and decay. Bodies simply left on the floor here and there in conditions from fresh to shambling. But when I got further in I could hear crying. Survivors! Rushing in I see that the crying ponies were being kept in a large cage. A unicorn stallion was sitting in front of a pegasus mare as she convulsed on the floor with something wiggling sticking out of her head. A vacant stare coming from the unicorn's eyes as he watched.

"What the hell is this!?" I screamed at maximum volume, shaking the cave and drawing the attention of everypony. The ponies in the cave started screaming louder. Begging me to save them from this place. With a sickening slurping sound the pegasus finally stopped moving and the wiggling thing popped its deformed head out of hers and turned to me.

"Do you mind? Some people are trying to eat." It said through its only slightly human face. The worm looked me up and down appraisingly. "Got a set of lungs on you, don't ya?" I tremble in rage that he not only killed so many ponies but was being so nonchalant about it!

"Aylmer! Your eating pony brains! What is wrong with you? They're innocent, sentient, beings!" My shouting caused the parasitic worm to jerk his head back.

"Ok, first off, indoor voice please. Even without ears that hurt. Second...how do you know my name?" Why is he talking to me in a tone that says we're friends!?

"Don't change the subject! You're killing and eating ponies! You don't even have the excuse of needing it. I've seen Brain Damage! I know you can live off of animals!" My outburst caused him to suddenly stop moving. He was just standing there, staring at me. Then he just burst out in laughter like I just told a joke!

"Ahahahaha, oh, oh you need to listen to this its funny. When you said my name I thought you were a cop and that I made a mistake somewhere. Oh but you're just like me! And here I thought I was the only freak around! Ahahahahaha! Oh, that was good. But as to your statement, I do need them. If you saw the movie you know eating animal brains keeps me weak and it's true I tried. Also, they're just not as goooood." He emphasized his point by smacking his lips a few times. "Trust me, my furry friend, I know all about need. Take Star Fall here for example. A talent in magic, with all that power and he was wasting his life working as a librarian. Well, I needed his skills so I gave him a taste of true sensation. Now he needs me. I'm helping him really, he was holding himself back. The spells in the forbidden sector in the library basement was much better than what he had." He then frowned and turned to the begging, caged ponies. "Do you mind? We're trying to have a conversation here. Some people am I right?" He asked as he turned back to me with a pleasant smile. I was seething. He killed and fed on the innocent and exposed another innocent to his juice and dark magic? He will need to be kept on life support when he goes through withdraw from both at once!

"I am going to free all of these ponies. Even Star, and I am going to KILL YOU!" Aylmer just let out a disappointed sigh.

"Oh fine, if that's how you're going to be." He then jumps onto Star, just barely evading my thunderbolt spell. Dark magic suddenly pulsed from Star Fall's horn and I prepare to cast a barrier spell. Just because it can't corrupt me doesn't mean it can't hurt me. But instead of shooting off a blast at me a large body of water began to boil. Suddenly a hulking form of a skeleton dragon burst from the water, moving forward with its head kept low to the ground. Once close enough Star turned and jumped onto its muzzle then into its eye socket, disappearing into its skull. It then lunged for me forcing me to dodge to the left then jump to avoid its claw swipe. I start running through large Stalagmites. "Come now I thought you were going to save everyone." Aylmer mocked from inside the dragon's head. I try to cast command undead on it but can't because Star is actively controlling it already. He's using it like a Mech? Why didn't I ever think of that! Ok think, think. What's the best move. Can't see him so I can only hit him with AOE effects. But I want to save Star so that's out. Only minions that can hold their own is Vinyl and Cluck but I have no territory close enough to drop them and I can't stop to make a portal. It's about my max size through the growth spell but I'd need to move slower to cast that and I'm barely keeping away from those claws. And any spell I can cast that will disable that monster will also hurt the trapped ponies!...Yep, I need some help. Good thing inanimate objects don't count for that territory limitation. Using my hand of evil I grab the first token I can find in my room and transport it to me, catching it in my tails.

"Excuse me but I'm in a bit of a situation can I WOH! Please help!" I just barely jump out of the way of its claws and was making to run to the left to get around it when I was suddenly zapped by the token in my tails, causing me to release it with a yelp. The token bursts open and a pulse of lightning shoots out, striking the dragon's chest causing it to jump back.

"You have got to be kidding me." I heard Aylmer say within the dragon's head.

Standing there was a human in armor. Looking around at the undead dragon, the caged ponies, then myself with a neutral expression in his eyes. "Whom would demand my presence? And why are these insufferable ponies quadrupeds?" Dr. Doom has entered the game.

I'm annoyed...I finished this chapter only for my internet connection to go out. So now I wait because I can't save or post. But don't worry I will have my net back before you see this. XD

The Mighty Slayers of Small Worms! And the Dinner of Dooooooooooom!

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The cavern grew quiet at the flashy entrance of this new displaced. The surprise of the situation giving me a moment of rest, though I doubt it will stay that way if that worm sees me charging up a spell. Besides I need this moment to fill Doom in. “Long story short that undead dragon is being controlled by a pony in its head who is being controlled by a sentient brain eating parasite that uses a powerful, addictive drug to break him and use him to catch ponies for him to kill and eat!” I tell him while keeping a wary eye on the dragon’s remains for any movement.

“Come now you can't blame a guy for eating, they’re prey in every way. I’m sure you can understand. You have the look of a predator, you don’t need to get mixed up in this little spat.” Aylmer said to Doom in a friendly voice from inside the dragon’s skull.

He stood there, now folding his arms as electric current jolted from his armor. His eyes are a mix of white irises with a moving cloudy grey, with his gaze shifting between us. “What of your story, Kitsune?” His voice was neutral in tone while his gaze shifted to the cage with ponies in it, giving a tilt of his head.

“I am Rin the dungeon keeper. Master of dark magic and forger of dark artifacts. And at the moment I’m trying to save those ponies from having their brains sucked out of their heads.” I replied as I kept my own eyes shifting though mostly keeping focus on the dragon.

He spoke loud enough just for the three of us to likely hear, his tone still neutral while he calmly shifted his gaze over us. “As a female from your voice, You should use ‘Mistress’ instead of ‘Master’ is my only gripe with your wording.. I will say this, ‘morality’ aside due to claim of survival versus heroics. What would I get in return for siding with either of you? On another note, who among you actually would KNOW of me?” He never seemed to change his tone, while leaving room to talk still with a possible gesture or twitch of his right hand.

“Well yes I’m a girl...now. Before I was displaced I was a guy though. I see no reason I was gender swapped, other then the guy that sent me to this world had a strange sense of humor.” When I said that I can hear Aylmer laughing hysterically. “And I was hoping to be friends. Friends help each other out do they not? I’m sure I can help you with a few things if you would call on me. And I know quite a bit about you. I have seen what kind of man you are through your token and supervillainy aside if you’re not, at least by my standards, truly evil. At least not from what I’ve seen so far.” I reply.

“Well as fuzzy as that is, I can give you whatever you want. With my power, I can enslave any sap. No one can take the pain of resisting me. Work with me and I can show you what true pleasure is like.” I hear from the skull, sounding as friendly and suave as ever.

Doom’s focus shifted completely onto Aylmer maybe causing panic to rise until he spoke. “There is a ‘slight’ issue with what was just mentioned parasite, by reasoning of your current existence including your very nature of manipulation and host bonding. I simply see no reason to trust you over what is an old if not powerful nine-tailed trickster, add onto the fact that what you offer is a trifle in likely comparison.” The second that last word left Doom’s lips his hand sprung up with a green telekinetic grip onto a neck vertebra in a pulling tug towards himself. With a pop, the head tumbled for a moment before glowing in a combination of black and green before moving back into place. However, it’s clear that the head is a little wobbly.

“That won’t work. The pony he’s enslaved is keeping active control. The only ways to stop it are to break the body in so many places it can’t function as a puppet or render the puppeteer unconscious and by that cut the strings.” I tell him as I try to work out a plan to get those two out of their hiding place.

Doom seemed to have formed a barrier around himself, before pointing a finger at one of the stalagmites on the ceiling before cracking it free throwing it downward striking the Dragon Skull with a reasonable force to jostle it again. “Well then kitsune, are you one who would abhor killing a host to kill the cause as a side benefit?” By this time he was preparing two more stalagmites, though one for each finger point.

“It's not his fault. I would only kill him if all other options were exhausted. However, if it becomes clear that it can’t be done and keeping him alive will only result in more casualties than… As they say, the needs of the many. Besides, I think we can do this. This parasite lives outside the body and injects his natural drug into the victim's head through a needle like appendage in his mouth. If we can get them out of that thing enough juice to K.O. the pony will cook the worm.” I answer as I watch the dragon bob and weave with impressive speed and skill for such a massive thing. Which makes the fact that Doom is still managing to hit the same spot on its head with each blow more impressive. When the behemoth tries to charge I focus a large amount of power into the create gold spell and conjure it where it was about to step. With no traction between coins one of its legs slips to the side causing it to stumble off course. An unconventional use for that spell but I’m trying to save the pony inside so my options are limited.

“I’m curious, do you have earplugs?” Doom asked as he had activated what looked to be thrusters in bursts to keep himself moving, to avoid many of the attacks while his shield held up against those that got lucky. After moving once again giving himself room before I could answer, an enchanting female voice came out of the likely speakers. The effect it had on the stallions was immediate, lulling them into a almost drunken dance while the mares were confused but more slowly brought under sway as he made it play. As the music plays I can feel something brushing against my mental barriers. But unlike most spells I’ve heard of that try to force their way in this one is more gentle. If a normal mind manipulation spell is like a hammer trying to smash down the door this one was like water trying to seep through the cracks.

“What are you doing you idiot! Don’t lose focus! You heard what that mongrel said, she was going to kill me! Do you remember when you tried to resist? The pain beyond all description, will destroy what little is left of you. You need me, so snap out of it!” Aylmer screamed and though I can tell some control was reestablished it wasn’t enough. The dragon has lost any sign of intelligent movements and lost all interest in us. Instead it's now focusing on the ponies trapped in the cage and moving in like a carnivorous animal stalking a wounded beast.

Doom raised his voice for Aylmer and I to hear this again when the song stopped, throwing a small boulder at the Dragon’s remains to get it’s attention before a palm blast after said rock scorching the side of it’s jaw. “It would seem little Parasite that you and your ‘fridge’, will be spoils of unchained monsters you have foolishly brought forth. Though I cannot fault you for being a simpleton, it’s in your nature to be dim.” Doom taunted, while insulting Aylmer’s intelligence and calling him incompetent.

The undead dragon turned towards Doom and growled menacingly before mindlessly charging forward. “HA! You call me a simpleton? You’re the one who obviously has no idea what he's doing! Even with this pony in a trance you’ll still be killed by this thing!” Aylmer yelled, for the first time showing signs of anger and fear. I smile at this. Before that thing was moving like a ninja, making it impossible for me to cast a spell that would have any use. But now that thing was just a barreling, clumsy behemoth with no signs of its acrobatics or tactics. Though that makes no difference now. With no more puppet master I can now add my own strings. I once again fire up the command undead spell, take control of the dragon and I make it do a Beatlejuice and had it spin its head like a carnival ride. With the pony in a trance and Aylmer with no limbs they had no way of holding on and flew out a distance to land roughly on the ground.

Doom calmly walked a few steps standing beside me, his bipedal stance with folded arms watching the spinning skeletal dragon’s head spin. “It would seem you are having fun, with dragon remains.” His finger pointing towards where Aylmar landed only for a green glow to encompass him levitating him back towards us into view, as Doom’s free hand crackled with arcing electricity between his digits. “But onto more pressing matters, would you desire the honors? Since I am a guest after all.” His expression was bored, even taking a few ‘light’ zaps at Aylmar to make him squirm in Doom’s telekinetic grip that held him firmly at barely above my muzzle level.

“Whoa Whoa let's all just calm down here. Why must we fight? Imagine what the three of us can do together. Can’t we talk this out?” Aylmer asked nervously as he struggled in the air.

“...No” I reply in an angry tone as I charge up my thunderbolt spell and let it loose on the parasite causing him to scream in pain for only a moment, as he was too small to last long and soon all that was floating there was a charred hunk of lifeless flesh. Before anything I use my eye of evil spell to look into the Canterlot palace and after a short moment of concentration a portal opens up from the ground in the cage. “That will take you to Canterlot. Tell the princesses what happened and that Rin will be there soon.” Rin said to the caged ponies, they were hesitant at first after what they just witnessed but soon started moving through the portal one by one till the cage was empty and I closed it behind them.

Doom gave me a deadpan look, holding the Charred Aylmer in his grasp likely to further cause overkill to what I have already done by continuously cooking him with lightning as he stepped along the path observing things of note from the corpses up to even the animated Dragon still present. “Let us hope your Royals do not over react, for it would seem my royalty knows of me even before I have done anything of note, though from the encounter I would presume time travel is the cause…” His expression rested on the mounds of the remains of Aylmer’s former victims laid out in a pile before tossing his ashen remains at it.

“I raised my world’s Celly and Lulu so I know...That Celly’s blood will boil when she finds out what happened but she won’t blame us. I taught her to learn the facts before jumping to conclusions. Though I think when this is all over she’s going to have a few words for me in private.” I say as I move the dragon over to the furthest corner of the cave and concentrate on a controlled tremor spell causing large boulders to fall and shatter the bones of the undead. “It's a shame I can’t keep it but I couldn't just safely leave it be when I’m not actively controlling it. Though I guess I can use the parts to create powerful artifacts if I ever need to.” I say as I mentally give some of my imps the command to come collect the parts. As they are high level ones they were making quick progress with teleportation and haste spells. I then use my magic to pull as much of the dark magic contaminating Star Fall's body as I safely can and send him to the palaces medical wing through a portal with an imp to write down what's wrong with him before turning to Doom. “Sorry about that. But I had to run some quick damage control… Speaking of damage you have small traces of dark magic in you. I don’t know what attacked you but It's not as woven into you as that unicorn’s taint. Would you like me to remove it? It will make healing the damage easier. Though I can’t repair spiritual damage myself.” I offer as I look him over.

Doom looked at his barely twitching hand before gazing at me again, a sigh escaped his lips behind that metal mask as he looked around. “In a better environment would be preferable, as it can wait a bit longer. As for spiritual damage, I may know a Zebra who could fix that..” He said cryptically as I’ve noticed his hand when not clenched gave a more noticeable twitch. “As for the one who caused this, let it be said she somehow knew me and from my siren’s statement she emanated Dark Magic of a ‘foul’ sort.”

I give a nod as I look it over. “Yes normally a body’s natural magic and life force will eventually destroy such a small amount of dark magic over time, so long as they aren't exposed anymore. But this stuff is like a living energy. It's keeping itself going strong.” I say as I turn away and get ready to create a portal. “Would you feel comfortable in the royal palace? Or would you rather we do this at my place?” I asked.

Doom stood there a moment, tapping the spot on his mask where his chin likely is before speaking again. “Would this ‘Royal Palace’ be in a place called ‘Canterlot’? If so that would be fine, also a tour of it would be fortuitous. But after things have settled I would require spell knowledge to give me an edge against potential dark users in the future or those of a higher skill of experience.” His eyes held an edge with a flare of tiny bolts from the corners of his eye.

I nod at this. “Defence against the dark arts? I can teach you that. But I can only use dark magic so if you're talking about holy magic… Well actually you couldn't even if you want to. Only those that follow the way of the light devoutly can use that stuff so I guess there’s no point in bringing that up…” I say as I create the portal and hop through. When Doom floats up into the medical wing I close it and motioned for him to have a seat on an unoccupied bed. “Well let's start with that nasty thing in you first before it does any more damage. Though I suggest you prepare yourself that stuff looks clingy so as much as it hurt going in it will hurt worse coming out.” I tell him as I summon a gem from my construction material pile in my dungeon.

He watched me with interest as his right hand twitched again, his expression shifted to his right arm, the gem and the ponies closest from the looks of it. “I was curious, could one of the dragon’s bones also have magic resistance?” Moving his left hand to clasp his right arm, when it shook more once we came to the palace in a jittery manner. “I also presume this intensified effect is a result of some reason, relating to the nature of this issue…”

I Blink at this before answering. “Well yes dragons are magic resistant by nature but as you can tell by the fact that thing was reanimated in the first place spells can get through with enough force. but to answer your question no. Dragon parts don’t radiate magic resistance. Think of magic like radiation and dragon bones as lead armor. No what's making it do that is I’ve already started charging up the spell to remove it and it's preparing to resist. This can only mean that the attack that placed it in you was meant to do just that. It could be a poison, a tracing spell or a way to spy on you. We won’t know till it’s removed and studied.” I say as I use a piece of paper and pen to make the ritual circle. When I finish my preparations I cast the spell. The paper became perfectly flat and stiff as the gem floated in its middle. Then Dooms arm jerked as a black wisp started to seep out and was slowly drawn into the gem.

Doom growled out as his eyes shut tightly, his left hand trying to keep his right one held but the pain looked to have caused muscle spasms. As he likely held back from cursing or yelling Doom listened to some music, likely to distract him from the pain. It was faint but he was listening to some singer’s voice that was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. “I will have to ‘repay’ this wound, with one better at a later time.” His voice whispered out likely through gritted teeth. With a final tug the last of the dark magic was pulled out and into the gem. I cast the healing spell on Doom before looking down at the thing in my paw. It squirmed spasticity in a way that reminded me of Discord’s chaos magic but it’s erratic movements was the only similarity. I then heard a hostile snort that drew my attention to Celly and Lulu at the room’s entrance. Luna had an almost murderous look in her eyes as she looked ready to charge into battle and Celly looked about ready to do the same. At first I thought that maybe they were angry at Doom for some reason but then I realized it was the gem that had their focus. Luna then stomped up to Doom.

“Golem! We demand to know where that came from! Did thine creator put it in thee!?” She demanded.

Doom’s expression might have turned from pained to deadpan at this point, his eyes focused on her at least before speaking slowly. As one would talk to a child, if not outright saying anything bad. “For starters, Pony. I am NOT a ‘golem’ or a construct, I would be wearing ARMOR. A little ‘thing’, meant to protect your flesh from possible battle? By how things are traversing, I would state that I am a Human of certain standing, as for that ‘gift’ was received by blocking a whip made from some type of dark magic.” His tone of voice taking on a more refined tone, even if he was being terse with his answers.

“”...Did thou just call us pony!? We are a princess!” Luna bellowed in the royal canterlot voice.

“Luna this is a hospital!” Celestia said in a berating tone. “Besides there is something more important to focus on.” She continued while motioning to the gem with her eyes.

“I’m going out on a limb and guessing you two have seen this magical signature before?” I asked them while holding up the apparently offending object.

“Tis the Nightmare. The thing that took advantage of our moment of weakness and turned us into Nightmare moon. If this monster roams free we must hunt it down and stop it at once!” Luna said with a stomp of her hoof. “But our question has not been answered! Where did you get that? What form was it in? We must know!” Luna said in a demanding tone.

“Luna calm down he had that before he came to this world. Maybe you can help deal with the problem over there. Can you tell us what this does? I asked while showing her the gem.

“Tracking and something else, we know not what.” Luna replied as she glared at the thing. After a moment of awkward silence as Luna tried to kill the nightmare by glaring at its magic Celestia grabbed our attention by clearing her throat.

“Yes well, seeing as the nightmare isn’t threatening us at the moment we need to talk about what happened with the ponies that were found in the courtroom.” She said while looking at me expectantly.

“Alright Celly but can you spare somepony to give my new friend a tour of the palace?” She nods and calls in one of her guards. “Before that I have one question Victor. Though it's no longer in you, your attacker can still track this thing when in the same world. So do you want to keep it? Or do I just dispose of it here?” I asked him as I held the gem up in front of him.

He regarded the gem before waving it off, as if having quite a bit of disdain for the thing as he soon rubbed the once twitching right hand in a soothing manner. “I wouldn’t miss it if that was your meaning, do with it as you please. Though as for these two ponies, who would they be?” His glance towards Celestia and Luna were of a questioning nature, which could likely shock anyone for not having heard of them before.

“I thought you said you met the princesses in your world. Anyways these are my nieces Celestia and Luna the co-rulers of Equestria. And girls this is my new friend Victor Von Doom.” I say as I wave my paws in a presenting manner.

He started to eye Luna critically, having leaned forward to do so. “I’ve briefly met her, though Luna is it? I would simply say that you have quite a vibrant mane and tail, the you I met didn’t allot me time to properly observe your features.” He nodded offering a hand to Luna as if to take an offered hoof. Luna looked down at the offered hand before carefully placing a hoof in it.

He clasped his gauntleted fingers around said hoof before shaking it softly, the contact having been brief still caused a noticeable shiver along her coat with partially flared wings. Upon releasing said hoof he coughs once to say this. “It seem’s I have an ‘affect’ on winged creatures when in my presence or physical contact, a Griffon I met reacted the same though she became flushed for some reason.” Gesturing towards Luna’s wings and a slight staticy look of her coat.

“Oh my, Lulu you're in a public place.” I say teasingly as I place a paw at my lips to cover a snicker. She then blushes with embarrassment as she sputtered at my teasing.

“Ney! Twas not THAT, we were shocked by his touch!” She tried to defend herself.

“I’m sure.” I snickered as her face went completely red before she teleported out of the room.

His gaze shifted towards Celestia now, looking her over as it stopped at her face. “You must be Celestia then?” He offered her his hand just like he had before with Luna, waiting patiently as his face remained neutral since the dark magic was pulled from his arm. Celly looked closely at his offered hand and seeing the small arcs of electricity telekinetically grabbed some rubber hoof gloves which were basically just balloons for the hoof and with her protection accepted his hand.

He nodded softly at that, even perking an eyebrow at her action before smiling. “You could say I have yet to really control my shocking personality, but time will fix that hopefully. I’ve received a comment before that I am like a thunder cloud.” Doom stated in a conversational tone.

“I’m sure you will. I’m glad to see my aunt has made such a well mannered friend amongst the displaced. I understand the last one was, well… too friendly. And I would love to talk with you more but my courtroom is full of scared ponies talking about my aunt, talking stallion parts and dead bodies. And I must talk with her about that. My guard Hard Flanks will give you that tour if you’d like.” She said as she gestured toward her guard.

He nodded slowly, eyeing said guard in question as he stood up. Though by him tilting his head down he didn’t seem used to it. “That would be fine if said guard is trusted, vouched for by word carries a lot of weight with me.” Doom stated, as his eyes shifted to me once as he spoke again. “I hope after things do settle, we can have a suitable meal to discuss what was said earlier.”

I give him a nod before he follows Celly’s guard out of the room. Turning to Celestia I see her waiting patiently to hear about what happened earlier. She took it about as well as I expected…


(Meanwhile in the Golden Oaks library.)

Twilight’s eye was twitching as she paced around the room. She is a mare of science and proud of it. She is Celestia’s personal student and through her teachings and analytical mind, she has not only learned many spells but invented a few of her own. So when a new magical being she never heard of before not only shows up but so casually demonstrates a spell that she not only didn't know existed, but should require a large amount of magic to do! She had to study this Rin! She had to learn her magic! Just think of all the good it would do for all of ponykind!

“Twilight you’re wearing a hole in the floor...again.” Spike said as he looked down at twilight from the hole’s edge. Twilight just glared up at him before teleporting next to him.

“I can’t help it Spike! A new species not found in any books with magic I’ve never seen before and I can’t think of any way to study it!... I mean her!” Twilight yelled before falling to the ground while holding her own head in her forehooves, as her eyes rapidly dart around the room and a few more hairs pop up in her mane.

“You could just ask.” Spike deadpanned.

“Just ask? Just ask?! Spike how do you expect me to ask the princess if I can study her aunt?! Her aunt! The genealogical questions alone have their own pile!” Twilight exclaimed as she pointed a hoof at the table covered in mounds of papers.

“I meant ask Rin.” Spike said in exasperation causing Twilight to freeze. “I mean she seemed nice enough. Maybe she would be happy to answer your questions or take a few tests for you. Princess Celestia was when you were little.”

Twilight thought deeply on this before teleporting over to her writing desk and writing a letter. Soon she was back with Spike carrying a scroll with For Rin only! written all over it. “Hear Spike, send this letter.” Twilight said calmly now. With a salute spike took the scroll out of Twilight’s magical grasp and sent it away in a puff of smoke with his magic fire. “Hopefully the princess doesn't read it” Twilight said as she tiredly waited for a reply.

“WHAT!?” Celestia’s voice rang out all the way from Canterlot and into Twilight's home. Twilight has never heard her so angry before.

“On no! she read it!” Twilight exclaimed in fear before she ran upstairs and hid under her bed.


Celly’s mane and tail looked like they were on fire as she picked me up in her magic and brought me up to her face. I even saw a scroll materialize briefly over her head before burning away into ash. “How many did he kill?” She asked dangerously.

“I don’t know how many Aylmer killed before he died.” I answer sadly before she calmed down and released me.

“Aunty, please send all of the bodies to the morgue. It would seem I’ve got work to do.” Celestia said sadly before she left the room. I sigh sadly at her reaction before I head over to the palace library.


(A few hours later in the dining room.)

It would seem that the Aylmer incident has caused a ruckus as I saw a few servants and guards running about outside. And the girls were off working to help the survivors. Even Blueblood was absent which is a good thing right now, I would like to keep my friends. Which means it's just me and Victor. I telekinetically lifted a notebook over to him. “These are spells as well as advice for fighting a high level dark magic user. If you have any further questions feel free to ask. Now you wanted to talk?” I ask as I use my magic to lift a piece of fish to my mouth.

He took the notebook into his hand, opening it to from appearances slowly go over it with great care while he spoke. “Of course, first I would like to thank you for going along with my requests. As admittedly any information I would acquire, could be useful for my own ‘world’ outside of visiting here.” He took a moment to pause lifting off his face mask for the first time to reveal his face, marred by burns and scars to take a drink from the glass offered as his eyes stayed locked to mine. “Second; I would wish to ‘get to know’, one who from my guessing was forced here? For the record, my situation as it is, would be a vague wish granted by sheer luck or some cosmic alignment if you wish to get ‘biblical’.”

He used the silverware with practiced ease, having started on the sides before eating the main course. His choice of food likely a choice out of comfort, for anyone else who would had joined us tonight. “Third, when would either hostess for our meal in their ‘humble’ abode arrive to join us?” Pausing from the meal at present, to glance back at the pages of the book giving me time to answer.

“One, you’re very welcome! Though I’m not sure how useful the tour will be as our worlds are drastically different, what with you living in a world full of superheroes and villains I’d imagine there will be things added in and removed as a precaution against super sneak thieves and attackers. Three, I can't say. The prospect of murder is an old but uncommon one in this world so what Aylmer did is going to cause a big splash and I’d imagine they’re working to get as much control over the situation as they can before the wave hits. So I would be surprised if they showed up before we finish eating, if at all. Let's just hope that Blueblood doesn't show up, he doesn't exactly make a good impression. And two, yes I didn’t come here by choice but I’m glad it happened. Back on earth I was just a science nerd that fixed broken appliances. I had over one thousand years to grieve what losses I had and moved on. So what exactly do you want to know about me?” I ask as I happily finish my fish...now I’m less happy, They should’ve made more fish.

He nodded softly as he closed the notebook, tucking it behind his back. his fingers moving to start on the main course which was a ratatouille, with a bit of garnish. “Well anything that isn’t sensitive to start, but you say that you studied under the science field? Where specifically if so?” He took a cut piece from the plate into his mouth, offering a nod of approval to me while he continued.

“Oh I can’t remember the name. One can forget things in the time I’ve been here. But I always loved science since when I was a kid and would often look up experiments to do when at the library. Unfortunately I never had the funds to do any of the cool stuff but I was good at it and always got a ribbon in science fairs. When I got sent to this world I saw my magic as something new to study and experiment with. Luckily for me dark magic is just what my body produces naturally. I didn’t find out about the effects it has on those that try to use it without the immunity I enjoy till much later. Even now I use the scientific method when studying new spells and trap and room designs for my dungeons.” I answer as I fill my plait with my own helping of the main course.

A smile crossed his lips, gazing up at me with a look in his eye. “There was a reason or two that I choose this, seeing as the original that I portray is both a Scientist and Sorcerer. The potential left open for both fields brings out the imagination, though I would say that you are the first Displaced I was called into. Before you I had formed into at most three other universes, one of whom was a ‘alternate’ of my original home. The surreal moment when you talk to a younger ‘you’ can be interesting, especially if they don’t know that you could in a sense be the same individual and not one of their idols.” He gave a hand gesture creating an illusion, of himself that I saw and what looked to be a excited boy bouncing around himself.

I smile at the image. “I never messed with time myself. I studied it but from what I understand history is either immutable, so that whatever you do will change nothing and in fact only be what causes things in the present to be. Or step on a bug and blow everything up...Personally I lean toward the former but either way never saw a reason to risk it when I already had so many safer and easier things to get into for my experiments.” I say before continuing my meal.

He frowned a bit at what was said, shaking his head slowly. “I was SUMMONED by my anchor, others may refer to it as ‘tokens’ from read sources. But I see it as a tether with two beings, each one at a different end to ‘toggle’ it. Case in point, the young ‘me’ that had summoned me was not the same universe as when I had left. Another was apparently a ‘video game’ character by Cole Mcgrath who shares similar power set for lightning and had given me pointers for assisting him. But as for the young me that i was referring to earlier, I ‘helped’ to ensure he wouldn’t suffer the same as I had growing up.” He spoke cryptically at the end there, his eyes sharing a narrowed expression before softening up to continue another bite.

I frown at his words. “I’m sorry to hear that your childhood was so unpleasant… But the tokens need not be that way with everyone. You can communicate through them if you’re careful not to say anything that sounds like a summons and a good way to help friends. But you’re saying that a child you has a copy of your comic? I hope its a kid friendly version because when I found your token I saw what happened after you brought Gilda to Lyra’s new place.” I cringe at my own words as I bring up that embarrassing moment.

He lifted a brow just watching me for a moment, his posture still straight and polite as he put down the fork for a moment. “It isn’t censored if you wanted to know, but he didn’t really care about that part. More of the ‘action’ that played out, but in the end I happily pruned the family tree where ‘he’ was from to make things smoother. I had even worked out how to build a ‘Life Model Decoy’ to act as his personal ‘hand’ in teaching him the methods of our Prestigious family’s values that have been in place for generations..” He picked up his fork again, eating just as calmly as before seeing no issue in what I saw of him being intimate.

I just stare at him a moment. “...I hope those you ‘pruned’ did something to deserve it. How bad was your family? If you don’t mind me asking.” I say as I gave him a sad look.

He stopped mid lift of his next piece, easing it back down while he stared back at me. A possibly long quiet look into my eyes before he said this. “Do you really wish to know? Or are you simply being conversational on nobility family ‘politics’...” After he spoke in a slightly tense voice, moving a hand to grab onto the drink glass that was refilled, by a servant that his gaze casually locked onto. Who scurried out of the room and into the kitchen.

My ears flatten against my head. I’ve seen some pretty bad things from noble houses in the past. And those were ponies, humans are much worse. “I’m sorry for bringing up any unpleasantness. I did want to know but I’ve been with the royal family long enough to know that noble family politics are rarely pleasant. You won’t believe how many times I had to use my necromancy to flush poison out of my system in the past. Is there anything more pleasant you want to talk about?” I ask, trying to steer the conversation someplace less tense.

The right hand he’s been using to hold his drinking glass, swirled the contents slowly before he spoke up. “The interesting difference I first noticed was the use of what could be considered ‘steampunk’ Airships, I took the time to copy the designs from my recently departed second uncle’s drawing table. For a cannibal he is a genius in designing vessels of most sorts, except for the carriage design he was working on. That thing was a moving deathtrap with what he thought to use.” He took a long sip before continuing as he smiled again. “Well I am glad to have done some cathartic cleaning regardless, tell me how did you come to be I am presuming apart of ‘this’ family?”

“Well when I first came to this world with the powers from the Dungeon Keeper games I spent most of my time experimenting with the rooms, traps and spells. Seeing what rooms attracted what from this world. One day one of the scavenging parties I sent out to find new raw materials found a shiny sky carriage being attacked by a dragon. It was well guarded but they were using poor tactics. They were actually trying to fight him directly.”

“By this time I learned that creating a large treasury and filling it with a massive amount of gems can attract dragons so I already knew enough about them to know they would lose that fight. Unfortunately the dragons I had were just teenagers so I couldn't just go for a frontal assault. But dragons are very prideful and I knew how to throw the right insults. There is a saying amongst humans ‘anger makes you stupid’ and when you're arrogant enough to think of everything else as bugs and have a short temper it's easy to get baited in.”

“I lured him into a canyon too thin for him to use his wings and when he was deep enough I cast the tremor spell causing the rock walls around him to come crashing down. Unfortunately I lost some of my minions luring him in and barely got out myself. But I’m glad I reacted that way, even if it was a spur of the moment thing. Turns out that the carriage was transporting Faust, Celly’s and Lulu’s mother who was in no condition to fight, due to being in labor with Celestia at the time.”

“Though her husband had some trust issues at first, with my magic and its reputation, but Faust liked me quickly enough. I think she actually looked into my soul when we first met. I just can’t describe how that feels. Anyways at first, I worked as an adviser on dark magic, since I can safely use it which meant I got full access to the forbidden wing. This gave her husband, many sleepless nights.” I laugh after I say this, I can’t blame him for his paranoia about me but it was funny how he thought he was being subtle when he was spying on me.

“After a while and many babysitting jobs, we were pretty close and since I had no family in this world Faust had me legally adopted into the family. You should have seen the faces on all of those nobles when it was announced!” I say with a large grin on my face as I finish my meal and watch as a cake bigger than both of us combined was wheeled in.

Doom looked at it, then the ponies wheeling the cake in. “What is this?” He didn’t need to gesture at it, as he slowly pushed the meal to his left as his eyes met mine in question if they didn’t answer first. “For it seems rather excessive, if there isn’t more mouths at the table…”

I just smile as I look at the massive amount of food still at the table and back up to the cake. “I guess the cooks don’t know the girls are working on something or they’ll be around to finish it later. Alicorns are powerful both magically and physically. So believe it or not this banquet and that cake is a small, pleasant dinner for them.” I answer as I turn to gage his reaction.

His expression slowly drew into a flat line, still gazing at the cake before the full spread on the table. “You could feed seven families with this, and have ‘doggy bags’.” But it wasn’t as surprised as I had perhaps thought. “For a normal family diner back home, we would use a table like this once a month. with the Family to sit together and commonly talk about things, those outside the family would gawk at if not report.” His eyes drifted over the food again before he pulled over a jello dessert.

“I introduced my knowledge of agricultural science all those years ago. That combined with their earth pony magic means they can produce far more crops than either alone so it's fine. And we do have conversations like that at our meal times but I doubt they are quite so negative. And we use a telepathic link so no eavesdroppers can overhear. Though it can lead to some funny reactions when first timers are brought in. Like this vampire I have in my employ who was freaking out because the moment she knew we were all connected she couldn't stop thinking dirty thoughts and not knowing we can’t see any images this way started chanting in her head for her brain to stop.” I say as I take a slice of cake as my dessert.

Doom shook his head at that, moving he placed one arm on the table relaxing slightly while listening to me talk. “You would have quite a few stories like this, I would guess correct? Having dependable if not loyal followers is a good thing.” He stated before using a spoon to cut a portion of jello free to eat the jiggling mass.

“...You could say that. Mostly having to with this one guy that came to this world with me by jumping into the portal that I rode here. He was some kind of cultist that believed I was some chosen one or something. And a type of minion I learned to create through dark magic and a hatchery that I call a Cluck Norris. Those are some mean chickens.” I say as I use a simple illusion to show both of the ones I’m talking about.

He nods slowly as he soon looks towards one of the windows, seeing the activity outside gesturing with an open palm. “Do your nieces ever delegate tasks to make time for family? On that topic how big is your said family currently?” His head turning back to look at my eyes, seeming to make a habit to show that I have his full attention or something.

I give a sigh. “Yes but like I said the murder of so many, will cause a lot of problems and can spread panic. They are delegating, I’m sure but it works like a pyramid with them at the top. And they want to make sure that their kingdom is stable. Unfortunately being a leader, especially in any situation that can cause instability in your people can make things difficult.” Besides this is a rare occurrence and isn’t the norm.”

He looked up after finishing his jello before steepling his fingers, giving me a look as he spoke neutrally once more. “So there isn’t a sort of ‘emergency’ response team? The kind of overreaching organization like ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ has been hinted at from my anchor? I at least hope there is some type of ‘guild’ that handles monsters.” He looked to have been done with eating diner as he sat leaning forward onto the table slightly.

“There was an emergency response team last time I checked and I have no reason to believe it was disbanded and I personally aided in writing the book on dealing with monsters. But they are their mother’s daughters and will take a personal hoof in such a tragedy as the murder of so many of their subjects. You didn’t see the area of the cave where all of the bodies were kept. Even if he had one pony per meal he had to be around for a month at least. I can’t see how so many went unnoticed though. She probably didn’t bring it up around me to protect me. Something she picked up from me it would seem.” I say sadly as I take a look outside myself.

His gaze joined mine looking outside while he sat. “Death is rather easy, though the aftershocks can be wide spread.” He spoke simply with a somber tone before continuing in a lighter note. “Pruning the Family tree in my case was cause for the better, though with the LMD tech behind. ‘Me’ will likely use them to keep the former roles filled to avert any suspicion.” He looked out taking a drink, gazing out at the activity.

I nod at this before placing my empty plate aside. “I hope he’ll be ok, and that the body doubles don’t run afoul of any other noble family trying politics. If it’s discovered they aren't human it can draw all the wrong attention.”

Nodding softly without looking towards me, his eyes shifting over the foliage. “If he is anything like me, taking the imprinted lessons seriously. He’ll turn out better if not more prepared, besides I can only do so much for ‘me’.” His eyes shifted back towards me, a calm expression while his intense gaze remained.

“I heard some music when I was treating your affliction. I’m guessing that was the siren knight I saw in your comic. Was that just a recording or are you keeping in contact across dimensions?” I asked after remembering the enchanting song.

His gaze moved back to me as he smiled softly while his left hand held his mask. “You could say she gave me a lullaby to ease my pain from that attack, which also put me under after she had gotten my helmet off.” Stating this simply as he seemed naturally comfortable in the chair here. “After recovering from the effects I had stopped the recording process to edit it into the purest form without any background interference. And you got the result, unfocused trance if not drunken or limp forms from hearing it. I am rather surprised, that it affects both genders from seeing it in play.”

“You’re lucky I keep my mental shields up. I don’t think you would have liked it if I botched the spell to remove the taint and had to start over do to losing focus.” I reply with a grin.

His response was a glance before looking outside again, a confident smile forming on his face. “Then I would have simply waited for the effects to wear off, at worse you would have been a love drunk fox rubbing against me..” His tone condescending, watching for my reaction at his wording.

“Well since it's a siren's song, I can’t deny it but I’d much rather be rubbing up against a female if I’m going to get that way.” I joke as I lean back in my chair.

Doom looks back at me, raising an eyebrow having his full attention before looking my form over again. “Mounting or being mounted?” Was his simple yet awkward question, it was like he was literally poking at me with that.

“Mount? That implies a controlled situation. When I find a female interested and with the stamina it will be like a snake pit. It's been a thousand years so she wouldn’t be leaving for at least twenty four hours and a few broken toys.” My attention was then brought to the sound of something metal hitting the floor to see Celly and Lulu stairing with looks of horror at what they just heard. “Oh great. I guess I can’t put off 'the talk' any longer…” I say as I facepaw.

“Don’t thou dare!” Luna shouted while shaking a hoof angrily as they tried to recover from their embarrassment.

“I didn’t need that image. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep down more than twenty pounds of food after that.” Celestia said as she tried to cover her face in her hooves.

Doom’s reaction to her statement may as well have been helping out. “Since you two are likely not going to eat this ‘buffet’ of food, why do you not send it to the closest orphanage?” Gazing at them once more in the same slightly leaning forward seating position.

“What will three foals do with all of this food?” Celestia asked as she looked it all over. “It will spoil if we tried to spread it out to all of them.”

Doom simply put on his face mask, remaining quiet for the first time in a while just staring at them. His left hand moved to rest over his masked face, with a slow drawn out sigh. “Then your staff as well?” Finally came his verbal response, as if trying to keep himself civil in a awkward position he hasn’t experienced before maybe.

“They already had their banquet dinner and can take the leftovers.

Doom took a look at me, the princesses and finally the food again before saying this. “Your world so far seems too peaceful, the only natural part was that fight… Even that didn’t have the edge I had with that Hyena.” He had cast a small illusion just like earlier, showing him with a round shield on his right arm, a anthro unicorn in armor with two swords knocked out of the way then finally the whip that lashed onto his arm by a menacing looking anthro hyena with a burned suit as she had lost a right arm somehow.

“Thank you! I like to think that all the things I taught the girls while they were growing up helped them to better serve the peace and prosperity of this land.” I say with a happy smile.

“Yes aunty, many of the things you taught us are used to this day. And equestria is better for it.” Celestia said as she rolled her eyes with an exasperated look on her face. But I think I see a slight smile near the end.

I smile and nod before turning back to Doom. “Teach the leaders the right things early on and the influence it has on the lands they rule can be quite amazing.”

“Aunty thine ego is showing.” Luna deadpanned.

“Has she been successful in raising you both, to be shining unblemished rulers of the land in which is being stood on at this moment?” Doom asked looking at both Celestia and Luna as he brought his glass closer into view to see if it still had drink.

“Yes, for the most part.” She said as she gave Luna a sad look. “She taught us and our little ponies many things to improve our lives and taught us about different cultures in our world and the one she hails from. Diplomacy and if things go unwell, she made us memorize what she called the art of war. Apparently it was a book from her world. She started doing this after she lost her first heart. She came back a wreck saying she wouldn't let it happen here but nopony was able to get her to say what she meant.” She said as she gave me a look, probably hoping I would finally spill. I kept my mouth shut but after what happened today I’ll be thinking of reconsidering.

Though Doom on the other paw spoke his assumption. “Assuming by ‘heart’ not being a figurative sense, if by what I am guessing is that someone personally attacked your aunt in a place she felt safe and had decent success if she was shaken that much.” He answered looking in my direction again likely to gauge something.

“Actually my dungeon heart was being kept in Faust’s and Salaris’s palace the first time I lost one and that one was destroyed by the king back when he was still paranoid.” I say sadly as I remember the betrayal. And it wasn’t the loss of the heart that had me so shaken. “Thankfully it wasn’t long after that he started coming around. Though it wasn’t as peaceful back then so I lost a few more in wars and some noble politics from some ambassadors.” I say with a flat look. The girls just look uncomfortable and a little angry at my mentioning this.

Doom nodded softly as he looked at the girls. “I am rather curious, since you both have arrived and we’ve eaten. Would you desire to spend it with your aunt?”

“That would be lovely thank you.” Celestia said with a smile. “Um… would you like to take some of this home with you?” She asked sheepishly while gesturing toward the food but using her magic to lift the cake trolley and set it down next to herself.

A skeptical look went onto the table, towards myself than resting onto the girls once more as he lifted a hand in stopping. “I thank you for the offer, though I wouldn’t be able to carry any back safely with me. But it is appreciated, if not excessive..” He is still likely trying to get over the fact that they could eat all of this.

I smile as I open a portal next to him and a miniature dungeon heart floated up next to him. “My token.” I say with a friendly smile as it just floats there next to him.

He gave me a look at the mention of tokens before taking it with care, looking down at it in question speaking his mind. “You know, if this is your dungeon heart. You just physically gave the literal meaning of ‘gave my heart to him’ from a love context..” Upon saying this he attempted to tickle it, before tucking it behind his back showing a second time that he’s likely put it away.

I just deadpanned at his little joke. “Yes it's my dungeon heart and I can use it, if it's needed in your world but it’s just a token till I do. I wish you a good night Victor, and your contract is complete.” With that a comic book magically appeared on one of the few empty spots on the table and opened up to create a grey cloudy cyclone that pulled Doom back into his world. Though many things could have been said after this the first thing that came to mind was. “Where did all the food go?”

Explanations.

View Online

I was in the torture chamber looking down at the body laying on the table. I set down the knife and work on fusing the flesh I had just cut on to the body. "That should do it." I say to myself as I look down at my work. After I had all of the pony bodies moved to the Canterlot morgue just like Celly told me to do. I gave my imps more specific instructions for animal remains and it didn't take long for the pile to regrow. Taking the best manticore body as well as anything I couldn't use as a skeleton do to missing parts or what it was in life and took it to the torture chamber which makes an excellent work room to create a flesh golem. The rest were taken to the prison so its magic will disintegrate the flesh leaving only clean bones. The hulking form that now had the muscle from other bodies added to its own to make it bigger and stronger also has its lips removed so the mouth can open wider and show off the fact that I removed the teeth from another body that was too damaged and fused them into its gums to give it more teeth than strictly necessary. Removing the lower and upper jaws as well as useable eyes I added them to different parts of the body giving it extra eyes to see and mouths to bite with on its sides and stomach. Its new bulk made any wings useless so I removed them and took seventeen snake remains and fused them into its back to act as tentacles with teeth and eyes to watch its back. Even left one to skin and infuse it inside the horrors tongue too so it can have its own mouth like in Alien. With the last of the extra hide to cover its new bulk added on to the rest of this patchwork monstrosity I begin to reanimate it. This could take a bit as it's several dead bodies that I'm trying to make into a single undead that can treat each new addition as if it was always a part of it. So I start doing a little dance and sing a cheerful and silly song to pass the time while I work. The magic of the world kicked in and the imps that have gotten high enough in level to be able to talk ran into the room to sing along.

When I complete my spell the flesh golem twitches then rises up before jumping off the table. Its snakes squirming around on its back. Looking it over I'm pleased that the project was a success. With a satisfied nod I lead it to the dunk tank that I filled with the concoction created from the local plant life to soak in for a few hours so it won't rot away. Looking back at the mess the room was now in as well as looking down at the blood all over myself I have some imps in the room clean it up as I head to my bathroom, thankful that I was able to figure out how to make my own plumbing all those years ago as I really need a shower right now. Almost hard to believe how squeamish I used to get with this stuff. Then again I used to be scared to build torture chambers, afraid of what I would attract.

After a nice long shower and making sure my fur would stay down I went out into the hallway and was about to go get one of the roles of spider's silk to show Rarity when Cluck Norris ran up to me with a spiky stone book on his back. He had been rather upset that he didn't get to fight the giant, undead dragon or a giant worm, despite my insistence that he didn't want to eat that worm. So I sent him to get the Inspiration Manifestation for me in the hopes that it would calm him down. If I'm right I can eliminate the need for the workshop to make the doors and traps. Which is a good thing because there aren't many creatures my dungeon heart can attract in this world that has any real skills to work in one. "Good work Cluck. I trust the mission went smoothly?" I ask as I take the book from him.

"Bawk ba bawk! Bawk bawk bawka! Bababawk, bawk bawk bawk baw-bawk!" (No problem boss! As you see I got the package and am ready to debrief!) I listen as I use my dungeon heart's ability to translate what my minions say.


(Flashback to Cluck Norris.)

When the world needs a champion! When all hope seems lost and the last thread of civilization is ready to snap! The world turns to one chicken! Cluck Norris! He is the one that will complete any mission no matter the peril! As we speak our hero is running across the dangerous Everfree forest! Ready to face any monster this untamed wilderness has in store for him!

As he ran through the dense jungle Cluck Norris expertly jumped from tree branch to tree branch with the occasional swinging of the vines. He manage to make it about halfway to the castle when the first monster struck! Luckily Cluck Norris was able to react in time and jump forward, avoiding the giant venus flytrap that closed its jaws just over the branch Cluck had been on a moment ago. Its thorn like teeth sinking into the bark. Cluck had no time to gloat however as venus flytraps don't just grow one head. Shadows seemed to crawl up from all sides. Thinking fast Cluck grabbed one of the special grenades his boss supplied him from the makeshift belt he had around his chest with a wing, pulling the pin at the same time before dropping in on the ground at his feet. Waiting till the last moment he jumped as the heads came crashing down where he once stood. Before the attacking heads could pull back the ice grenade went off exploding with a blue mist of a potion causing the heads to freeze as everything the potion touched was coated in ice. "Baw ba bawk... bawk." (You guys need to...chill out.) Turning around and kicking some dirt at his defeated attacker before running off toward his destination.

Cluck Norris came to a bridge leading up to a castle. Only taking a moment to look up at it before running across and into the shambling fortress. It didn't take long for him to find the library but it was a few tedious hours finding the right book to trigger the hidden passage...well the right hidden passage. The lock only needed a small explosive and Cluck was in and out before the ground could fall out from beneath him. The prize acquired he was about to head back when he heard a cry for help. Moving fast Cluck came into a room where he found several beautiful hens tied by their feet hanging upside down. Beneath them a large snake was licking his lips at them.

"Hssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss hsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss hsssssssssssssssssssssss!" (Perfect, you've all fallen right into my trap! All of the planning, all of the preparation to get you all into my coils. It's all about to pay off! Now let the feast begin. Take solace that you're going to be consumed by a true genius!) Carefully setting the boss's new book down Cluck hopped up on the railing and looked down at the snake.

"Bawk Ba bawk ba bawk?" (If your going to eat dessert shouldn't you eat the main cores first?) The snake quickly turned to Cluck.

"Hssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! Hssssssssssss." (You will regret revealing yourself fool! When I devour you I will-) Said the snake before being interrupted.

"Bawk ba? ba bawk." (Can we skip the monologue? I have a job to do.) Cluck deadpanned.

"Hsssssssss!" (As you wish!) Replied the snake as he lunged at a weathered pillar which he slithered up with surprising speed. But Cluck had a plan. Running over to a window without glass he hopped out onto the ledge and waited for the snake. He didn't need to wait long as the large serpent shot out and after stopping a moment to find Cluck before moving in with blinding speed. Cluck jumped onto a gargoyle then dropped behind it as the snake moved in to strike. Not to be deterred by a miss the snake chased Cluck in circles around the statues till it heard a strange hissing sound that wasn't coming from him. Looking down he saw a piece of bamboo with some sparks coming out of the tip. Looking around he saw the chicken that dared to challenge him standing on the windowsill waving with one wing before turning around and raising his hind end into the air, rapidly shaking his tail feathers at him. Before the snake could continue his attack in his now doubled rage he was stunned by a loud BOOM from the small explosive. After being struck by several pieces of rock from the statue he was on the snake heard cracking sounds and looked down just in time to see the ledge give way. "Hssssssssssssssssssssss!" (Noooooooooooooooooooo!) he yelled as he plummeted off the side of the castle and into the gorge to be swallowed by the darkness. Returning to free the hens they quickly surrounded him while clucking excitedly.

"Ba Bawk. Bawk bawk akwk." (Calm down ladies. There's plenty of Cluck Norris to go around.)


(Back to the present.)

I had a cocked eyebrow while listening to the last part of his story. "So there just so happened to be an evil snake mastermind with captured hens that you saved and had them fawning all over you?" I ask, more amused than anything that he told his story like he was trying to narrate an action movie despite, to my knowledge, never seeing or hearing of one.

Getting a nod from Cluck. "Bawk ba ba bawk ba bawk." (Cluck Norris gets all the chicks.)

I can't help but give a wide grin. Well he did get the job done. If he wants to embellish the story a little I guess it's ok. "I'm glad to hear you made such good use out of the mini grenades I made for you. Good work." Taking a moment to memorize the spell I concentrate on the design of the steel door and watched as the door appears in the entrance to my room. I can even feel the heart accept it as if it were made in the workshop. It still cost me gems to make for some reason but that's ok. Grinning down I charge up another spell. "Hold still a sec Cluck." Cluck gave a nervous cluck before getting hit with a sickly green blast of magic leaving him with a high quality looking belt for his grenades, also with a small utility pouch and a little sheath for a mini hunting knife. He was also sporting a pair of black sunglasses. Walking over to the steel door he cocked his head from side to side while looking at his reflection. Apparently he liked it because he started strutting in front of my door. Shaking my head with an amused grin I lock my door then move the inspiration manifestation into the safety of my inner sanctum with my hand of evil before closing my eyes and placing more doors and a few alarm traps. Now that I have doors I lock the training room, set imps at the gem seams to hack away then I reanimated and dumped the now clean skeletons that were in my prison into the training room one after another until I had them all. Getting back on track I get a role of silk but have a thought before leaving. With a flash of green I'm now wearing green overalls and a tidied T-shirt along with orange sun glasses that have star shaped lenses. And wearing a Beanie in a plaid pattern on my head. Now, where to open the portal? I spy with my evil eye...


(Meanwhile at the hall of Doo... Oh, no its just outside of ponyville.)

"Then he escorted them back home." Fluttershy said as she told the story all of her chickens told her about where they disappeared to earlier.

"Oh what a gentle err, chicken. If only I could find a stallion like that." Replied Rarity with an almost dreamy look in her eyes before refocusing on Fluttershy. "So what happened next?"

"That's it. After he saw them safely home he left saying he needed to complete an important mission. I've never seen a chicken who was able to run so fast. Pore Elizabeak was so sad to see him go. I hope he'll be safe in the Everfree." Said Fluttershy. Before the conversation could continue 4 strange crystal obelisks shot out of the ground nearby before a hole opened up between them. I hop out and float over to the edge to see the girls cleaning up a picnic.

"Hi girls!" I call to them in a cheery voice. Thud ...Hmm didn't even have time to get her fainting couch. Well that was anticlimactic. Deciding to strip down and send the clothes back to my room to be destroyed later. "Well that happened. Say where's Twilight? This looks like a picnic between friends. I would think she would be with all of you."

"Oh she's probably still trying to find a friendship problem to fix." Pinkie answered in that bubbly cheerful way of hers.

... I face paw at hearing this. Before anypony could inquire about my actions they were all distracted by the ground rumbling beneath them. Soon a small army consisting of the majority of Ponyville's residents came stampeding past us while chasing a certain doll. When I look at it I felt a power punch against my mental defenses and just kept bashing like a rabid beast trying to get in.

"Don't look at it!" Twilight shouted as she grabbed mine and Rainbow dash's face and pull them to the side.

"Don't look at what?" Asked Applejack as she walked around the still unconscious Rarity.

"My Smarty Pants doll. I enchanted her and now everypony is fighting over her." Twilight answered.

"Why would you enchant your doll?" Fluttershy asked in confusion.

"Well I had to do something! I had nothing to report to princess Celestia. I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem. The day is almost over!" Twilight exclaimed with a look of panic on her face.

I roll my eyes and use simple telekinesis on the doll to pull it away from the ponies and toward me. Then when it touched my outstretched paw I sent it to my toy box to reverse engineer later. I then found the connection from the doll to the victim's minds and shattered it.

"Hey what happened? Why did everypony stop freaking out?" Dash asked when everything settled.

"I used telekinesis to take the doll away then transported it to a safe location then freed the minds of everypony when it was safely out of sight." I say, grabbing the mane six's attention.

"...Why didn't I think of that!? Now I wasted all that time and now I don't have anything to report!" Twilight wailed as she fell to the the ground in defeat.

"How about how you should talk to somepony when you find you might not be able to keep a promise that you made them. And explain things instead of doing something reckless and dangerous in an attempt to keep it. I know Celestia well enough to know she would have understood." I say in lecturing tone with one eyebrow cocked.

"I think that is a very good lesson." Celestia's voice called out as a bright light filled the sky and she appeared and slowly descended to the ground. All the while looking at Twilight with that mad and disappointed mom look. As I watch her descend my eyes catch something behind her. It can't be... It is! Its them!

"Hey you jerks! Ya you! I'd remember your faces anywhere! Remember me? You'd better because there's going to be a reckoning for what you've done. And I want you to remember every single attack you've made when I get my revenge!" Everypony that was about to head to the library stopped to look at me when I made my outburst. Watching as a shook my front, right paw in that old man get off my lawn way. Looking at where I was shouting at to only see pigeons flying by while cooing in a way that almost sounded like laughter. "I won't take crap from you anymore!" My eyes widen as I jump backwards to narrowly avoid a direct hit. I then see more of them flying out from behind the cloud cover, moving in like an army of bomber planes. "Retreat!" I scream in panic as I grab my silk in my tails and charge past the main six and Celestia to get to the library for cover.


(Later at Twilights tree. Which threw no fault of my own was now covered in little white splotches.)

"And you say you can give a continues supply?" Rarity asked as she stroked her face against the role of spider's silk lovingly. The meeting at the tree house went as it did in the show except Celestia was sitting to the side waiting on me to finish my business and everypony else was trying to look thru the windows.

"Yawl think they're gone?" Asked Applejack in a conspiratorial whisper.

"I don't know. I can't see thru any of my windows and I'm afraid to open any of them. All we can do is wait on Fluttershy and see how diplomacy works." Twilight replied while pacing in a circle around the room.

I just ignore them and continue talking to Rarity. "Yes I have a group of giant spiders working for me. They supply me with all the silk I need."

"However are you getting such uncouth creatures to do that?" she asked with a bewildered look.

"Sorry, trade secret." I reply before extending a paw. "So, do we have a deal?" Rarity looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking my paw. "Excellent! I'll just leave this role and bring you the rest later when I can get my pay." With that settled I turned back to Celly. "Yes, Is there something you need?" I ask with a sweet smile.

"Yes aunty we need to talk. In private, at your place." Oh no, she's not smiling. Must be bad news. I give a nod and open a portal which she quickly enters. When I went through myself I look around as I let the portal close to see Celestia was in the hall looking into a room before closing the door and moving on to the next one. "So what were you doing in Ponyville?" She's interrogating me?

"I was there to sell my silk to Rarity." I answer.

She pauses for a moment before continuing on her search. "I am grateful you diffused the situation. And for the advice you gave Twilight. She's a good pony but she can get a bit high strung sometimes." I had to give a snort to that on principle, which she ignored. She then came to a locked door. After jiggling it a few times she turned to me. "What's behind this door?" She asked in a slightly accusatory manner.

"Its the training room." My answer only caused her to narrow her eyes.

"And why would you need a training room?" she asked as she moved on to the next room.

"To train my minions. To make them stronger." I deadpan. Oh dear, she's heading for the torture chamber. That might make things a little more tense. When she looks inside she freezes up a moment before cautiously walking inside to look around.

"I know you're hiding something from me and Luna. I knew during our first meal since you came back. Then you find that horrid creature and save the ponies it had imprisoned with that Doom fellow. Which you only found out about because you sent your imps out to look for dead bodies. I didn't bring it up at the time because of what happened but now I must ask, why would you need dead bodies?" She demanded as she looks into a certain tank only to quickly backpedal then throw up on the floor. The concoction sloshed around as my Frankenstein like creation rose up from the tank to stare at Celestia with several eyes. Apparently it’s done since it is now completely bald and its hide has turned dark grey. Hearing this noise Celestia jumped back further and got into a fighting stance. Her horn charging up an attack spell.

"Celestia no! I need a tank among my minions!" I shout as I get in the way of her shot.

Celestia grits her teeth but her spell flickers out. "Rin" No aunty? My ears fold back with some sadness. "I need to know. I need to know what you've been hiding and I need a very good explanation for...that!" She said angrily while pointing an accusing hoof at my flesh golem. I have been thinking about this. The point in hiding it from her and her sister was to protect them and they're subjects but after Aylmer I realized I have failed before I even got out of stone.

"Alright." I say with resignation. Deciding that leaving it in the room might exasperate things I move the flesh golem to the training room with my hand before turning toward the door and heading to my room. "Come with me. Before anything let me just tell you that I only kept this from you and Luna because I wanted to keep you two safe. I wanted to take care of it quietly so you wouldn't need to fear. But in light of recent events I guess you do deserve to know. I didn't think I would find a threat within." Looking back I see a look of fear and concern mixed in with her anger. When we get to my room I jump into my bed and move to one side of it, gesturing to the other. "Lay down." I say in a commanding voice causing Celly to give me a look. "I'll show you through my dreams. That way we can get Luna's attention. She deserves to know to." Celestia looked like she was about to say something but decided against it and did as I told. "Now look into my eyes. You're feeling sleepy. Relax and rest your weary head. Count the cakes as they jump over the fence." When she falls asleep I follow her into sleep and focus on my dream walking. But instead of going to her dreams I pulled her into mine. I didn't need to call for Luna as she sensed me using her magic and headed straight for us.

"Ah, tis you two. We were wondering who would interfere with our domain without permission. Are we playing mind games like we did when we were little? Let us partake in the carts of Mario! Thou shalt learn to fear our all powerful turtle shells and our chained balls of chomping! And we have learned from our past. No more shall we fall for the big, adorable eyes of the walking bombs that make us want to pet them that so foalishly wander onto the tracks!" Dawwww. She's talking like a general giving an inspirational speech. Must, resist, urge, to hug!

"Sorry Luna but this meeting is for an important announcement." I tell them as I form my dream into some of the images that I've seen in the void. "I wanted to protect you two from this but that stopped being an option when I found out that I failed before I was even free. When Aylmer feasted on the brains of ponies." The two shuddered a little at my mentioning of the event. "Just like me and that perverted ape that worm was a displaced. Though there are plenty of saints among them there are those that are so wicked that they could only fit in in Tartarus. It was my intent to keep them out and destroy anything truly evil that got in. I didn't think there would be any already inside." My ears flattened against my head as I confessed. Watching they're worried faces as images passed by.

"You should have showed us this earlier aunty Rin." Well at least Celly is calling me aunty again "We aren't foals anymore. What possessed you to try to keep us out of this? We can and will help defend against such threats against our world." I really wish I didn't need to show them this. But they're getting involved so... With great reluctance I change the environment to the one image that held my tongue at first. The image of Celestia and Luna laying dead.

"Can you blame me for wanting to keep you two away from the danger?" I asked as I cleared the dream into a black void when I think I made my point. It takes a moment before they shake themselves from their shock. They take a moment to look me in the eye before giving each other a look.

"No aunty, I suppose we can't... You still should have told us. But we know why you didn't. Come Luna. We need to inform our guards to keep an eye out for anything strange. I want us to have an early warning on any of this." With a nod the sisters blinked out of existence as they woke up with my following not far behind. When I woke I looked up to see Celestia was already standing outside my door looking at something out of view. "Aunty isn't this the plushy you used to sleep with?" what?

"T-Trixie is not a plushy your majesty." Came a slightly confused voice. WHAT?!

I ran out to see The Trixie bowing before Celestia. "No Celly that's a pony that just looks like it." Man I'm glad I didn't give it her name or cutie mark. Wait how did she get in without the heart telling me? Was I just that focused on the meeting? Giving a nod Celly walked around Trixie and headed for the portal leading to my room at the palace. Normally she would take more time for her subjects but I guess I won't bring it up. She has a lot on her mind. As Celly left I looked down at Trixie who was still bowing. "You can get up now." I told her with the kind tone and the smile Celly loved to use on her ponies. Trixie rose to her hooves but when she looked up at me she just looked confused.

"You're the princess's aunt?" She asked in confusion.

"I am. Tell me Trixie why have you come here?" Oh please let it be what I think it is.

"Trixie is unsure how to say this. But Trixie wants to get stronger. She wants more spells and power and something inside the great and powerful Trixie tells her she can get what she wants here...Trixie didn't even know here existed." YES! Ok, a chance to get Trixie! Don't blow it. But still make it clear her arrogance will not be tolerated.

"That was me. It's a way I can project a help wanted sign. And if you work for me you will have access to many spellbooks one would only be able to find in the Canterlot royal library. As well as training to become stronger. Prove yourself and I will take you with me to any big event I will go to and you will have plenty of chances to show how great and powerful you can be." Trixie was looking at me like I just offered to make her an alicorn. She's even drooling a little. "However I can tell you are a very proud pony. Arrogance will only result in mistakes and mistakes can get you and others killed. If you do this your binding yourself to me through a magical contract. If you do this, you will learn to be humble...You can keep the talking in third pony thing I like that, but the attitude goes. Act right and get respect. Act poorly and you will be punished in humiliating ways to break away some of that ego. Are we clear?" Trixie was shifting her eyes with furrowed brows. I can practically see the war in her head between her pride and her desire. Finally she came to a decision and raised a hoof to shake.

"Trixie accepts."


(Unknown location.)

Hunter was looking over some of the reports from agent Double Agent.

Entry #1: Target is interacting with the royal sisters in friendly manner. Suspected memory alteration as they seem to think they're related to the creature. It was also reported that an unknown being attempted to slay the creature with a banana but such reports have been dismissed for being too ridiculous.

Entry #2": Target has spent the night in princess Celestia's chambers and interacted with a new pony named Vinyl Scratch. Unknown if she is also being controlled.

Entry #3: Target was involved in mutable murders in which the victims had their brains removed. For what purpose is unknown. It has also been reported that it was with a creature similar to the founder. Target also now has it's own room next to the princess's chambers with its own Lunar and Solar guards.

Hunter was not happy. Normally this monster would be dead by now. The Order of the Goodly Heroes has hunted such creatures for generations. They delved deep into the shadows where such things dwell and exterminated them quietly. Which means they were able to use methods they wouldn't get away with in public. But this one doesn't hide in shadows but in a fortress of light with the royal sisters and their army protecting it. And it doesn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. It doesn't help that they know next to nothing about it. Try as they might they couldn't find a way to kill this thing without bringing unwanted attention to themselves. Their hooves were being forced and it burned Hunter's horseshoes to no ends. This was too big of a threat to let be so they had no choice. The plan was already in motion and soon this monster will be dead and then they would just have to deal with covering as much of their tracks as they can. They won't allow this creature to destroy all of the peace and prosperity this land enjoys.

Good Vs...uhhh, Good?

View Online

Daring Do was now in the fabled Temple of Bones. Her arch nemesis Ahuizotl was trying to uncover the cursed tome, the Necronomicon. A book of necromancy with pages covered in spells and rituals that can make the most vile villains in history empty their lunch after reading the thing. Apparently he wants to use it to raise the armies of the battle of the valley of the butterflies. It started out well enough. She was able to get through the wilderness easily enough. Only had to deal with Ahuizotl's henchmen once and that lasted all of twenty seven seconds. Traps? Classic spiked walls closing in? Easy to get past with speed. Trap doors on the ground filled with black water and rotting dead things trying to claw their way up the smooth walls to get to her? Really grose but not much of an issue when you can fly. Poison darts that shoot out of holes in the walls? Just jumped back and waited for it to run out of ammo. Not that she would tell it that way when she wrote her book. When she got to the chamber she saw a book with a multi colored stitched cover. Which to her disgust she could see cutie marks on parts of it. It also had a face with actual, albeit milky dead, eyes and teeth in it's mouth which was creepy as all hay. It has what looks like a black, mummified griffin claw acting as a locking strap to keep it closed. This is where things started going down hill. Not because she triggered a trap or awoken some kind of temple guardian, but from the book itself. It bites...hard. Thing nearly took off a piece of her leg! When she managed to shake the thing off Ahuizotl and his goons chose that moment to barge in and try to steal the Necronomicon. Don't get her wrong it was an epic fight. And she had to admit there were times she thought Ahuizotl would win. But now she was looking upon her defeated enemy as he uselessly fought against his bindings, his henchmen were no better off. Despite this, after careful consideration she decided that she would not be writing about this in her next book. Fighting against her own bindings she was able to position herself to look at the strangest chicken she has ever seen. It was walking over to the Necronomicon and picking it up in its wings. She would normally be mad that the book wasn't biting the chicken when it had bitten her. If not for the fact that it was laughing so hard she doubted it could if it wanted to.

"Curse you chicken! I shall have my revenge!" Ahuizotl shouted. Daring never realized how loud he can be when he loses, as she was always flying away when he swears revenge. Ahuizotl's outburst caused the chicken to freeze and the room went silent. The chicken then carefully placed the Necronomicon back down against the wall then started walking in a slow, menacing way toward Ahuizotl. When he was close enough the chicken then jumped at Ahuizotl and in a flash drew something from its belt and the next thing Daring saw was a handle sticking out of Ahuizotl's head. The chicken then pulled back and placed a cap on what she now saw was a stamp before placing it back in it's pouch. "What did it just do?" Ahuizotl asked as he turned to face Daring with a confused look. On his forehead were the words Property of Cluck Norris. on his face...The book was now laughing harder.

After getting the Necronomicon on its back the chicken apparently named Cluck Norris walked over to Daring and drew a tiny knife, made a cut on her rope before jumping back while sheathing its blade. It then looked straight up and started clucking as if talking to somepony before somehow being pulled up into the air and quickly disappearing. With a sigh Daring started breaking her rope binding and decided that she really needed a drink.


I smile as I drop Cluck into my room to place my new book in the magic lock box I set aside for whatever was found in that old temple. When I sent him in I wasn't expecting competition. Though I must admit it was entertaining. Still I better send some reinforcements with him next time.

"Why is everypony so quiet?" Blueblood asked in annoyance. Ever since the meeting Celly and Lulu have been working on organizing their guards to discreetly look for anything strange so not to cause a panic. At the moment they were writing away at parchments and sending them off.

"It's nothing Blueblood. We're just working on some new procedures." Celestia said in an exasperated tone. For a moment I think I see a look flash across her face like a five year old just asked her where babies come from.

"Oh is this about my room? Its about time something was done about it." He said with a firm nod.

At that moment a unicorn day guard soldier burst into the room with a scroll in his magic. "Your majesties! We have an emergency report from the lab of magic in the Badlands!" He shouted in alarm. Badlands? What are they researching that they need to be that far out?

Celestia quickly grabbed the scroll and read through it before sending it away with a sigh. "The researchers had an accident and there is some powerful magical pollution mutating the creatures that get to close. It will need to be dealt with immediately before it escalates out of control. Luna I'm going to need your help with this." I cock my head at Celestia's words.

"Celly shouldn't one of you stay incase of an emergency. I can go with one of you and help." Celestia just shook her head.

"No aunty. Luna and I have developed a team system so we can take care of this quickly so it won't be a problem. Besides I know how much you hate hot places." She's right, I do hate hot. Curse my fluffiness! With that Luna walked over to Celestia.

"Come sister! We ride to battle the monsters of science! And to tell the ponies working there that they shall not use the mana pools to power their Jacuzzis!...Again!" Luna bellowed as she pulled a huge hammer out of nowhere. They use something as powerful as a mana pool for that? One bright flash later and I was alone with Blueblood...Joy. Thankfully he seems content just to eat his breakfast.

Shortly after the girls left we were distracted by the sound of metal hitting the ground. Turning our heads we see that one of the guards was out like a light just snoring away. We then heard it again from another guard as the drowsy, yawning guards fall asleep one by one. I can hear it happening out in the halls too.

"What's going on here? Wake up you lazy louts!" Blueblood shouted at the sleeping guards while I checked the closest one. He will be fine. Some kind of drug maybe?

"Its not their fault Blueblood." I say as I turn to him and he toward me. "Think about it. First Celestia and Luna get an emergency that apparently is bad enough it needs both of them to leave the palace at once. Then all the guards fall asleep. Someone is removing all of the potential threats to do something big."

"...My room!" I face paw at his conclusion. He's never going to let that go till someone gets punished for it is he? "Look out!" He shouted. Looking over I see a dining knife flying at me. Quickly ducking from Blueblood’s attack which I notes after I did it wouldn't have hit me. At that time I also heard the sounds of a click, snap and a swishing sound as a crossbow bolt shot past from behind me. It flew through the spot exactly where my head was a second ago at a speed that can barely be tracked with the eye and embedded itself deep into a marble pillar. Did Blueblood just save my life!? I then move to the side when I hear something flying through the air again and zigzagged over to Blueblood and brought up a barrier around us. "Ha! You pathetic pigeon! None can strike any of the royal family!" Blueblood mocked. I take the breather to look at the attacker. He is a griffin wearing a vest covered with knives which he has been throwing. And a quiver full of bolts on his left side and the crossbow to fire them hanging from a strap on his right. He was also wearing a ski mask. Seeing the shield now up he just gives an annoyed glare before sheathing the throwing knife he was about to throw and grabbing and reloading his crossbow. Considering how deeply the first shot imbedded itself into the pillar I think it's safe to assume the weapon and its ammo were engineered to be armor piercing. So rather than taking chances, when he fires at my head again I move my head to the side. Good thing too because the bolt flew past where my head was. Taking a look at my barrier I see that instead of a pierced hole or jagged edges of it getting broken off where it was hit I see a smooth wavy hole, like acid had melted through it. And the bolts are enchanted to get through magic defenses. Sure, why not? Now that it's pointless I drop my shield causing the griffin to drop his weapon and go back to the rapid fire of his throwing knives. Not wanting to give him a chance I try to turn him into a chicken only for a talisman I didn't see before to glow brightly and leave him unaffected. My jaw drops. This guy came prepared with extremely advance and expensive enchanted items. When the knives come flying I try to catch them with my telekinesis but no those are enchanted as well. Quickly dodging and I move to a new plan.

"Lets see if your magic resistance can stand up to this!" I charge my magic and he just gets a cocky grin on his beak. He's not even attacking, he's just standing there waiting for whatever powerful spell I was going to throw at him. Obviously confident that his talisman will hold against me. With a loud thunk and the sound of breaking wood the chair that I telekinetically grabbed from behind him flew into the back of his head causing the griffin's eyes to start spinning before he fell over unconscious. All things considered I'm surprised he fell for that... Taking a moment to create a portal I call an imp to strip him of his gear till I can't detect any enchantments when I scan him and have it drag him off to my prison. I would have taken the items as well, but considering how prepared he was I wouldn't be surprised if they had tracing spells hidden in with them. I doubt that all this preparation would be used and only have that one griffin. Now I have a choice to make. I can retreat to the safety of my dungeon. Or I can defend my niece's home for them.


Trixie was busy studying the books on illusion magic. She wanted to learn destruction but her new employer insisted on her mastering her special talent first. Every now and again she would look at the other pony in the library. She didn't know why but something about Vinyl just rubbed Trixie the wrong way. She said nothing about it as she didn't want to lose out on what she can get here over a gut feeling. She also didn't want to risk another punishment Rin would give her for it. Trixie gave a slight shiver remembering last night.


(Last night)

Trixie was not to happy with sharing a lair with another pony and was less so about the décor. But the décor will haft to wait till she can get something to decorate it with.

"Ok here is how things will work" Trixie said to Vinyl in a commanding tone. "You are going to move your morbid bed over to that side of the room and we'll split it down this line." Trixie said as she put some tape on the floor giving herself 75% of the lair. Then Trixie pulled out a large stack of papers. "And you will need to sign the Roommate agreement." Vinyl just cocked an eyebrow and sat down on the ground on Trixie's side of the line, much to Trixie's annoyance. "That's Trixie's spot." Trixie said with an annoyed glare. Vinyl just grinned at Trixie just before she felt a pain on the top of her head like someone whacked her with a stick. Turning her head to glare at the culprit she had to look up, and up, to the now much bigger than her Rin. Rin had her cheeks inflated as she looked down at Trixie before snickering into her paw.

"Wow, considering how we first met this is perfect." Rin said as she then brought her paw down on Trixie's back and crushing her with enough force to kill her only for Trixie's mouth to open wide and give out a squeak. Looking at her back and seeing the seam running along her side as well as noticing the material her skin is now made of she came to a horrifying realization.

"Trixie is a plushy!" Trixie wailed only to be further surprised at her high pitched and squeaky voice. This just got a laugh out of her new boss and that disrespectful pony before she was lifted up in the paws of Rin and squeezed forcing her to give off another squeak. "Stop this! You can't do this to Trixie. Change her back now!"

Rin just cocked an eyebrow with a big grin on her face. "I told you I would punish you in ways that chip away at your pride if you make me. And yes I can. When you became my employee you became my subject over Celestia's and Luna's so I have last say in punishing you." Rin said as she gave Trixie another squeeze. "And I say your punishment is to be a toy till the affects of this transformation ware off." Rin then threw Trixie up in the air causing her to give of a startled squeak scream till she landed in Rin's paws with another squeak.


An hour, Trixie didn't change back for an hour. Her magic didn't even work till she changed back leaving her at the mercy of her employer. Trixie took a moment to look at the paper Vinyl was writing on before turning back to her book. Apparently Vinyl was working on a new trap design called a bass cannon. Suddenly with a flash of toxic green Trixie found herself in a strange full body suit. And by that she meant only her eyes were exposed. Looking over to Vinyl she saw that the other unicorn was dressed in the same black getup. But she didn't react much other then placing a bookmark in the book she had to the side of her papers and just sat back waiting for something. Trixie was about to ask her what's going on when Vinyl just shot up in the air and disappeared. Trixie was a little scared now as she looked around the room in hopes of seeing something that would give her a clue as to what's going on. Suddenly she felt a pull lifting her off the ground and the next thing she knew she was laying down in what can only be described as a giant minotaur's hand right next to Vinyl.

"What's happening!? Where is Trixie?!" Trixie yelled as she looked around. She seemed to be flying over the dungeon. The area around her was black and white while slightly transparent like the land itself became a ghost world.

"This is the boss's hand. It lets her move us and anything she owns around and can pull us out of danger if she thinks we can't win." Vinyl said with indifference as she just rested in the giant palm, waiting to get to wherever they were going. They were jostled a little as the hand moved in a scooping motion and a chicken with sunglasses landed on Trixie's head. Before she could shake it off the hand tilted and all three started sliding toward a hole with crystals around it that she had seen Rin use as a portal earlier. Vinyl was sliding next to her with her fore legs raised in the air while she cheered like she was on some big slide.


After thinking about it I decided against using any undead or Timberwolves. One will only cause unwanted problems if they get out into public and the other was weak without the woods to draw power from. With the chosen minions floating out the portal I close it behind them. "Alright troops!" I said in a mock general voice. "We have a situation. We have a well organized infiltration of the Canterlot royal palace. The sisters are out dealing with an emergency and I assume most of the guards on duty if not all are out cold. We have no idea how many have infiltrated but they must be after something important. Trixie you're with me in the middle. Vinyl you're guarding the back while Cluck takes point." Two of them moved into formation but I frown as Trixie was standing there with panic in her eyes. Right... Trixie should get more training. But I might need her abilities for this. "Trixie, I wont force you on this. But if you stay close to me and I promise that we will protect you to the best of our abilities. But you have no training yet so if you feel you're not ready I'll send you back." Trixie looked at me in fear for a moment but shakily trotted over to me. Looking at her as she practically snuggled up to me in fear causing me to frown deeper. She's not ready... With a sigh I open a portal for her. "Go back. You're not ready." Trixie's eyes open wider at this.

"No! Trixie wants to help." She said with wide eyes. You mean you want to be a hero. Two wars taught me to see the difference.

"I see I made a mistake in bringing you in without training. But I will let you stay if you want to see this through. But do as you're told and don't leave my side. I wouldn't be allowing this if I didn't think Vinyl, Cluck and I couldn't protect you." This caused her to stop shaking and glare at me a moment. Apparently not liking being protected by a chicken based on when she reacted. I gave Trixie a look that told her not to argue. Thankfully she relented with a nod. Hopefully I'm not making a mistake. If things get too bad I'll just use my hand to send her back

With that taken care of I turn to Blueblood. "There should be a place where important items are kept. Anything dangerous that can't be allowed to be taken. Can you take us there." Blueblood just gave untrusting looks to the two ponies and a confused look to Cluck. But then he took a look at the guards before sighing.

"Yes but keep a close eye on your, guards. I don't trust them." He replied, drawing angry looks from the three before turning and heading toward the door. As we moved through the corridors we saw that the guards inside and what we can see outside were all out cold. I hope whatever did this to them didn't get any flying Pegasi. Vinyl was staying away from the windows to avoid the light. Soon a strange foul smell filled the air. Quickening our pace we came to a door that Blueblood opened quickly and rushed inside. We followed to see the chamber beyond the door to see...

"Blueblood, is this your room?" I ask in exasperation.

"How did you know?" He asked in confusion. I face paw.

"Because your face is on everything in here." I reply in annoyance. Honestly I should have seen this coming. Before we can do anything else the sound of hoof falls approaching. Giving quick nods we moved into defensive positions while facing the door. Moving some furniture to act as cover, much to Bluebloods annoyance. The smell growing stronger as the clip clop of hooves grows closer.

In a military style march ten earth ponies in pure white, highly decorative armor and four unicorns dressed just like Starswirl the Bearded used to, only without the bells, marched up behind them. And they were all wearing gas masks. They quickly took up formation outside the door but the sound of the loudest hoof steps were still ringing off the walls. But that soon ended when a giant ball of blubber of an earth pony walked up to the door. It was obviously a he from the scruffy facial hair. But he wore his hair in pigtails and tail in a ponytail with a rainbow of colorful glitter randomly spread throughout both. He was wearing a pink loincloth that looks like a girl in kindergarten tried to use it for an art project. He had a blue coat with red hair. But despite all of that the most obvious thing about him is the indescribable smell. This guy had such a disregard for personal hygiene that he had some kind of fungus growing from the folds of his fat. I think I just found this world's version of the bio demon.

"So you're the freak that thinks she can challenge our strength. Your nothing but a bug to us you vile worm." Oh great, he's monologuing." Know my name and tremble monster! For I am the mighty Strong Heart! Named after the great hero and trained in his fighting style and techniques!" That explains a few things actually. "Now you have the honor of being crushed by my mighty um... might!" I can practically see the sweat drops on everypony's heads.

"Ok time out." I say causing the attackers to give me confused looks and falter out of their fighting stances. "Before anything I would like to say that I knew Strong Heart. He and I share the same homeland before moving to Equestria all those years ago." I say sweetly before glaring and covering my nose with a paw. "So I can tell you he knew what soap is!" I say that last part with disgust. Oooh he looks mad.

"Hay! It's hard to wash with this body shape ok! Now shut up! We're here to destroy you. Now let us kill you evil monster so we can go home!" He shouted in anger. Wait, they came specifically for me? What did I do? Strong Heart 2 lifted his right foreleg up in the air. "Vroooom!" He then hopped up onto his hind legs to lift the other. "Vroooom!" He then lifted his head to look straight up. "Vroooom! Pony bolder!" He shouted as he quickly leaned forward while kicking himself forward and turning himself into a giant bowling ball rolling straight at us! I try to redirect him with telekinesis but apparently he has a magic resistance talisman too. "Scatter!" I shout as I grab Trixie in my tails and dodge to the side as the others get out of the way as well. Come on! They can't all have magic resistance! It takes too much time and energy to make one and they wear out after taking a certain amount of spell power. Wait, all he was wearing was a loin cloth so where is he even keeping it?.... UG! No! I did not need to visualize that! I cringe at the thought as the pony ball bounces off the wall and starts rolling toward another wall that he bounces off again like a pinball. While we're playing dodge ball I hear the sound of magic charging up and risk a glance to see that the knights are standing guard at the entrance ready to attack any that got too close to the door while the unicorns behind them were readying to throw spells at us.

"No!" Trixie yelled while riding in the grasp of my tails when she saw this too and flung her own faster charged spell at them creating an explosion of colorful fireworks in the middle of their ranks causing them to panic and scatter. Hmmm they ran from it. And I didn't see any distortions in the area the illusion took place in... So the underlings don't get magic resistance talismans. I needed to dodge to avoid the giant ball again. Looking around a grab several pedestals from around the room that didn't get smashed already and pulled them together before positioning it and waiting for him to start rolling in the right direction.

"Everypony help me push!" I shouted as a get the pedestals behind him and redirect him towards the door where the ponies that came with him were getting back into formation. The talisman's effect nullified my hold on my makeshift shuffleboard stick up to a little past the halfway point but I still held on as I pushed him forward with all my might. I soon feel Trixie and Vinyl add to the push and even Blueblood, though I think that was just to get the discussing wrecking ball out of his room. Faster and faster he rolled toward his underlings. Who seeing what was happening got back to scrambling out of the way. Unfortunately for a good chunk of them they were even more disorganized during their second try causing the unfortunate ones to be rolled over by their leader before the giant ball collided with the wall opposite the door creating a ball shaped hole in the wall. A moment later a groaning Strong Heart wobbled out of the hole before steadying himself and glared at me.

With an angry snort he then charges at me once again hopping up onto his hind legs again. "Gum gum, gatling!" He yells out as he starts wildly flailing his forelegs spastically. I'm amazed that he's able to run so fast on his hind legs but when I dodge to the right I see he's just as bad at turning while doing that as he is while rolling forward. Worse actually as he doesn't bounce around when he hits the wall. He just crashes and falls down. Vinyl who now had her fore hooves wrapped in sheets took advantage of his prone form and charged over and started wailing on him. Even with her vampire strength she only did so much damage with all of his fat cushioning the blows. He groans again and gets up before hip chucking Vinyl into a wall. Now looking enraged beyond any rational thought. "I've never lost to a monster and I'm not starting now! Destructo disk!" Wait what?! No way he can simulate that! He then reached behind him and pulled out a buzz saw blade. No! Don't pull anything out that makes me wonder where you keep them! With a mighty heave he flings the saw at me forcing me to move again. Unfortunately the saw cut through the air quickly and made a large gash in my foreleg. I grunt in pain and quickly cast the heal spell on myself. After finally getting a shot in Strong Heart 2 gave a feral grin but went back to scowling when he saw me heal myself. Having about enough of this I telekinetically grabbed the parts of the wall he smashed through earlier and flung them at him. Seeing he can't avoid all of them Strong 2 covers his head with his forelegs and takes the rocks that collide with him, bouncing off of his fat. But regardless of his blubbery protection the damage was piling up. When the bombardment stopped he uncovered his head but was unaware I saved one large rock which I kept floating over his head until I let it go. With that last rock he finally fell to the ground. I hope those talismans aren't a common thing. That's going to get annoying if there are more of these guys.

Looking over I see that Cluck has disabled the rest of his backup. Blueblood walked over and glared down at the Strong Heart rip off. "That will teach you to defile my room you ruffian! And you're going to pay for wrecking it to!" I just gave him a curious look. "What? Who else would be so disgusting as to relieve themselves in my room! I mean just look at him, he's filth...He's doing it again!" Eww...well whatever. Maybe this guys punishment will get him to shut up about it.


(Later that day)

When the girls returned they were very concerned. After rounding up my attackers and I gave them the griffin as I wasn't sure if he counted as one of their subject or not. They immediately wanted answers and went in to do the good cop bad cop. A few hours later Celestia and Luna had just walked out of the integration room and up to me. "They are surprisingly stubborn. Most just kept silent and the ones that did talk just kept saying things like break out of it or you're stronger than her or let your light break the chains of darkness." Celestia said with a troubled look in her eyes.

"All one said to us is I'm sure you tried your best." Luna said with hostility. "What was that suppose to mean?!" she said with extreme annoyance.

"I'm more concerned by their efficiency. I'm glad the guards were just put to sleep. I think the incident at the lab was no accident. It did look bad but nopony was hurt and it was all already contained when we got there. It was just designed to look like it was a threat." Celly said as she look me up and down. "Aunty are you ok? Maybe you should have a checkup just to make sure you're not hurt." She said with concern.

"Don't worry Celly I'm fine. That's what the heal spell is for." I try to reassure her but it has the opposite effect.

"You had to use your heal spell?" She asked in worry.

"Yes but it's fine it was just a scratch." I tell her but she's unconvinced. "It's ok I don't need a doctor." I insist but they just give each other a look and a nod before turning back to me. Wait, they aren't, they are! That's cheating! Not that, not the puppy pout! No! I won't!... I won't!


I look up in annoyance as the checkup room door opened revealing an earth pony mare in a doctor's coat. "Good evening lady Rin. My name is doctor Ouchy Begone. Are you ready for your checkup?" She asked cheerfully.

"About as ready as I am to take up work in a sewage treatment plant." I say with as much excitement as a man on death row.

"Oh come now it won't be that bad. Princess Celestia hoof picked me as hers and princess Luna's personal physician. Besides there's no reason to be shy. We're both mares so you don't have anything I haven't seen before... I think." She said as she looked me up and down. Then took out a large rubber bag that she then pulled tightly over one of her front hooves, then releasing it with a snap. "Now I'm going to need you to bend over for me so I can check inside." Taking a moment to look threw a drawer before pulling out what she was looking for. With her jar of popsicle sticks in hoof she turned back to her patient. "Now say ahh and open...wide. Lady Rin?"


"Nonononononononononononononononononononono!" Looking at the source of the noise Luna saw her aunty Rin barreling toward her from down the hall. She was about to call out a greeting but was flipped upside down when her aunt ran under her legs leaving Luna on her back. "Nonononononononononononononononononono..."

Who you going to call? Well I'm no Ghostbuster.

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Life in the guard isn't an easy one. First there's that awful test just to get in, then one must suffer the most brutal training and after all of that, their time is split between fighting, training to keep in top condition or the more likely wandering on a set path. Just walking around bored out of their skulls. This last one was the case for Private Steel Hooves. When he signed up for the guard he thought he would be seeing some action, but no. He was honestly beginning to think he would spend his military career with nothing exciting happening but earlier today a group of assassins managed to break into the palace itself undetected. Not only did this happen when he was off duty, but he couldn't even get the juicy details from the ones that were on duty because they all slept through it!

Now here he was just walking down his boring, set path through the dungeon as he checked each occupied cell. Well if nothing else I can at least see these guys. He thought to himself as he checked the next cell only to see it empty. Eyes widening at this he quickly unlocked the cell door before running in and looking around to see nothing. "No no no no! I just know I'm going to get blamed for this!" he said before turning to go raise the alarm.

"Most likely." A voice agreed before he could leave. Looking up he saw a massive blob of a pony somehow able to hold his body up against the ceiling of the cell by pressing his hooves against the rafters. "Belly bomb!" The blubbery pony shouted out as he launched himself down at the guard, and for Steel Hooves, everything went black.

Standing back up with a grunt Strong Heart took a moment to check on the pony he just landed on before giving a sigh of relief when he saw that the poor guard would be ok. "Sorry about that friend, I know you think you're doing the right thing but when the princesses are freed from that monster the truth about it will be reviled and then you'll know this was for the best." He said sadly as he lifted the unconscious guard and placed him on the bed before grabbing the keys and locking him in.

"You want to shout the names of your attacks any louder? I don't think the warden herd you." Hawk Eye said in annoyance from his own cell as he stuck his beak through the bars. Strong Heart just rolled his eyes as he walked over to let the griffin out only for him to sniff the air a few times. "Did you get a bath?" he asked in confusion.

"Yes, the princesses ordered that I be bathed after the first thirty seconds they tried to interrogate me." Though he had to admit it will be useful for sneaking out, he wished they weren't so thorough. On top of the fact he never felt so violated in his life, they found all fifty-four of his hiding places and took all his stuff, even the snacks! It was a good thing their inside pony was able to sneak in a few small pieces of equipment in their food to aid in their escape.

Hawk Eye just gave an appreciative nod with a smile. "Well then at least something good came out of this fiasco." The griffin said before his face turned serious. "Think we can try again?" He asked causing Strong Heart to frown at the thought.

"No, unfortunately we stand no chance at the moment. The guards are all awake and the princesses are here, not to mention the beast is now on alert. Besides if we want all of this to bear some fruit we need to report what we learned about it. Knowledge on its fighting style and that it's now confirmed that it has personal minions will be invaluable to planning the next attack." Strong Heart said causing Hawk Eye to give a snort of annoyance.

"Fighting style? What fighting style!? All it did was dodge attacks and used a dirty trick to knock me out. And what minions? Are you talking about that pompous prince?" Hawk asked in a whisper with a flat look.

"Its clearly a tactical fighter, favoring misdirection and will use its environment to its advantage. Its cunning like... well like a fox, a trickster and a caster threw and threw. And impressive reflexes aside it always stayed out of range of any attacks it could so that tells us it's useless in hoof to hoof or melee, probably. And it had two ponies in black stealth suites, assuming they were even equine at all. Bucking unicorn hit like a train." Strong Heart said with a frown as he rubbed the spot on his stomach that mare was wailing on. "And I don't think the prince is so much a minion as he is a gullible fool. It also had some kind of monster bird." He said as he motioned for Hawk to follow as they worked to free the others. He wasn't looking forward to explaining to his superiors that some of his troops were taken down by a chicken. Not that it was the only thing he didn't want to tell them. All that planning and preparation, memorizing the floor plans, sneaking potions into the guards breakfast that were carefully calculated and concocted by our best alchemist to put them to sleep at the same time, sneaking him and his team in, arranging the royal sisters departure, and having it all synchronized only to fail. There's no way all of that was easy and being the one to drop the ball didn't sit well with him.

With the party back together they were making there way to the warden's office. From the floor plans they knew that there was an old tunnel running directly underneath it that was once used to move supplies when the palace was unfinished. They had to take down a few more patrolling guards on the way but nothing that they couldn't handle quickly and quietly. However there was one obstacle that might prove a challenge, in order to get to the office they would need to sneak through the guard's break room without letting any of them sound the alarm...

"Help! I'm lost! Where's my mommy!?" All of the guards in the room looked over to the entrances to the break room at the sound of a filly crying.

"How did a filly get down here?" One of the guards asked as he got up and moved toward the sound. A few minutes after he left the crying never stopped. "Hey guys, a little help here? I can't find her." The guards voice called out from the doorway which prompted nine of the other guards to get up and walk out to help.

"Pony bolder!" At the sound of that shout a large ball rolled out taking out all the guards that went to help look and before any of the other two that stayed could move to sound the alarm they felt a sharp pain and everything got swirly. They looked up to see the griffin prisoner with a blow dart gun who managed to sneak up to the ceiling without anypony noticing before blacking out.

"And you said that learning the ghost noise spell was useless." One of the unicorns gloated to the other causing his fellows to roll their eyes at him.

"What's all the ruckus out here!?" An elderly but muscular earth pony covered in scars and missing one eye called out as he walked into the room. After seeing the damage and escaped prisoners he quickly turned and made a run for the chain hanging from the wall that will sound the alarm but before he could make it he was surrounded by a large barrier that trapped him in with Strong Heart, Hawk Eye and one of the knights.

"Calm down old timer we're just going to make you sleep for a little while and everything will be fine." Strong Heart said with a reassuring smile. But rather than calm the old stallion down it just made him angrier.

"Just try it you snot nosed brats." He said with hostility as he got into a fighting stance. This caused the knight to charge forward to restrain the old pony so he can be knocked out by one of the others. But when he moved to grab the Warden he quickly grabbed the knights foreleg with his own and with his other struck the outstretched leg causing a sickening snap to fill the air followed closely by a scream of pain as the old pony then let go before rapid punching the knight in the gut. During this Hawkeye got three shots in but the darts don't seem to have any effect. The Warden then leaned down and grabbed one of the knights hind legs with one foreleg before launching himself at Strong Heart and while in midair got a firm grip on the knights leg and to everyone's shock swung the stallion like a hammer at the blubber pony. As surprising as it was to see the old pony using one of his opponents as a bludgeoning weapon, Strong decided to just stand there and take the blow so he can act as a cushion for his knight rather than let him strike the stone ground. When he felt the collision Strong lunged forward to grab the Warden but was only struck twice in the face before his target jumped back out of reach. By this time the Warden had eight darts sticking out of him but he didn't pay them any attention.

"I'm out of tranq darts and it's not even doing anything!" Hawk eye shouted in frustration which he was about to find out was a big mistake. The old pony jumped back a few times before quickly pulling the darts out of himself before throwing them all at once at the griffin. Hawk squawked as he tried to get out of the way but a few hit his wing, grounding him. Strong Heart's eyes widened at this. This was ridiculous, he thought it was time to implement a strategy that unfortunately wouldn't have worked with magic resistance.

"Reel it in!" Strong shouted to his unicorns, resulting in the barrier shrinking. Quickly all of the combatants were being forced closer together and when there was too little room to avoid it Strong moved to finish this. "Belly bomb!" He shouted as he grabbed the old pony who was rapped punching Strong Heart in the stomach but his fat protected him as he fell onto the Warden. "Spunky old stallion, just like our old teacher right?" Strong asked Hawk Eye as he waited for the pony under him to lose conciseness.

"Look at all the waves... are we at the beach?" Hawk replied as he wobbly stared at Strong's fat as it jiggled from the Warden's struggles.

"...ok." Strong said in annoyance before getting up. "Drop the bubble and bind them, especially this old guy. And somepony help these two out." He said as he walked into the office and pulled out two containers which he poured in a circle on the floor overlapping each other and stood back as it bubbled and slowly sank into the ground. A short wait later and the floor collapsed in a near perfect circle before he threw a powder over it to neutralize the acid. "Alright lets move out!" He felt a wave of relief as he jumped down. It was clever trying to use the royal sisters to extract information but now that it's failed it will doubtless move to torture soon, so he was glad the jailbreak was going so well.


Today was a bad day, it started before breakfast when I was told the guys that want me dead for some reason escaped. Then again at breakfast with mine having been poisoned. This forced me to spend an hour and a half on the toilet purging the poison from my system. Then Celestia had me fill out forms so I can legally use dark magic... well, ok that part provided me with some entertainment.


(Earlier that day.)

I was walking along the halls of the palace when I was stopped by a light blue unicorn mare with a facile expression that reminded me of Miss Harshwhinny. "Excuse me lady Rin, but it seems there was some problems with one of the forms you filled out. Now I know you've been away for a while so you can't know how they work so let me help you finish this." ...They think I was being series with those answers? This will be fun.

"Oh? Alright, so what are the problems?" Straight face Rin, straight face.

"Well to start with, where it asked Sex?... You answered 'yes please'." Straight face! Strait face!

"Oh, ok so my room or is there one set aside for this?" I asked with an innocent look on my face which caused her to look confused for a moment before realization and then horror crossed hers.

"Wa I a n-no! Lady Rin we will not be going to any room's!" She exclaimed with a red face.

"Well we can't do it here. Somepony will see." I say while still managing to keep a convincing look of genuine confusion.

"No! Gender! It's asking you what your gender is!" She shouted with a look of panic.

I blink at this with a look of deep thought before replying. "So why doesn't it just say gender on it?" At my question she opened her mouth to answer but then it closed and she just looked confused.

"It is rather inappropriate. My best guess is that a rather immature fellow working in an office got bored and wrote it as a joke and it just caught on... I'm just going to write down female for you." she answered as she wrote onto a piece of paper. I hope I didn't just invent the F.C.C. in this world...

"Ok, the next problem is when it asked you the year of your birthday you answered, 'every year'. She said as she looked up at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What? Don't they celebrate birthdays once a year anymore?" I asked.

"No, it wants to know what year you were born." She said as I can tell she's struggling to remain respectful so I just answer with a shrug causing her to look confused herself. "You can't remember?" she asked with a sad look which I simply answer by shaking my head and she gives a sigh. "I suppose I should have seen that coming considering when it asks how old you are you wrote down 'I'm going to need more paper..."


(Present time)

But so far that was the only fun I had. After that I had to attend a diplomatic meeting with the high council of the Great Pigeon Empire set up by Fluttershy. I did get my apology...I think, and now I have several imps building them a capital building of their own just outside of their seat of power, Manehattan. At least I'll get a great spy network when it's done as they promised so I get something good to reap when this is done, two things if you count being able to call in an airstrike on anyone I want. And now I'm reading the Necronomicon and am disappointed at how little of this stuff I can use. Most of this stuff requires the sacrifice of or twisting and corrupting of souls. Which would explain why the first spell in this thing was how to steal them. I was currently using one of the spells in designing a new room. Its a spell for calling forth those that are unable or unwilling to move on, by slightly altering the spell and weaving it into the walls of my new creation I think I can create a room that can attract ghosts instead of only being able to get them by torturing others to death. The question was what to make it, this kind of thing works best if its a stereotype. So what is the most stereotypical room ghosts would like to haunt? I wondered as I looked down at the dark book.

The library and graveyard are already taken... Art gallery? Everyone knows ghost love staring at people through paintings. A play room? But that would just attract dead children and that would just be depressing. I lean back and think back while channeling my inner spook lover... and I can't decide. Its not like I can make an entire haunted house into a room... "I'm going to need a very big area dug out for this one.


(Three hours later)

I was sitting in the middle of the new room looking around with Vinyl and Trixie with me. "Did you need to make it all look so creepy?" Trixie asked as she examined my work. "And why are the flames on the candles green?" The room's walls were covered in paintings that I used that old trick that makes it look like they're always looking at you. Busts and suits of armor line the walls. In one corner there is a small stage with old school instruments on it and one wall is glass with a garden behind it. In the center of the room is a dining table with candle wicks and a chandelier above it. Against one wall is a grandfather clock purposely made so that it counts to thirteen instead of twelve. There is an upstairs balcony going around the room that can be reached with a spiraling staircase with two doors on three of the walls leading to six mini room for the ghosts and the blood red carpet went well with the worn, creepy wallpaper and cobwebs I had my spiders place. There was even a large chair in one corner modeled after the haunted mansion Doom buggy.

"I did my best to make it as haunted housey as I could. It's a haunted living area." I answer Trixie which causes the two too give me a look. "You're right that sounded stupid, I'll just call it the haunted room." I say with a nod as I admire my handiwork.

"Wait so you're trying to attract ghosts? Nice." Vinyl said with a grin but Trixie went bug eyed.

"You're kidding right? Ghosts aren't real." Trixie said worriedly as she looked back to us and we gave her the best 'wanna bet?' looks we could. "...What is Trixie saying." Trixie said as she face hoofed. She's doing much better then her first contact with the undead, though admittedly that flesh golem might have just been that scary for her and ghosts aren't that bad in comparison.

Well My works done here but I'm still in a sour mood from today's events. I need something else to vent. As if reading my mind fate threw me something to do. “My name is Asphyxious Lich Lord of the diamond dogs, the city of Canterlot is under attack and I need your aid.” My eyes widen at the thought. Yes I know it's not my Canterlot with my girls in it but still. So I create a portal and use my hand to grab all of my undead. After all whatever would attack that place would ether have numbers or is badass.

"Alright girls it's fighting time, follow if you're ready." I say as I jump into the portal

(Link to the fight.)


When me and my three main minions returned I was still drunk. "Wow easy there boss. Maybe you should get to bed, that law that says you're not aloud to get drunk is still up you know." Vinyl said as she tried to lead me to my room.

"Ok." I said sleepily as picked up Trixie in my tails, getting a surprised shout from her and wobbled along. I mentally give my imps the order to get more dead animals as I entered my room and found a note on my bed. "Oh, I have mail!" I said happily as I hopped into bed and opened it only for a small explosion of confetti to go off in my face. After blinking off the surprise I pull out an invitation to a Pinkie party! I smile widely as I set it on my nightstand next to my comic before laying back and pulling Trixie in for a snuggle as I thought she was my old plushy in my state of mind. Trixie was too drunk herself to protest and had even fallen asleep while I was carrying her.


(The next day)

I woke with a bad migraine as I pulled my plushie tightly against me causing it to grunt at the sudden movement. My eyes open wide at this as I look down and note a few things. One, I'm in bed with Trixie. Two, I'm all sticky. Three, we're covered in bits of confetti. As this is happening Trixie also woke up and came to the same conclusion I came to but reacted in a rather loud way, which was not appreciated by my hangover.

Aunty Rin wants you!

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After a short while of Trixie freaking out she calmed down after I explained that nothing happened. It took a few minutes but I was able to remember enough to realise that all we did was snuggle. And that this sticky stuff is just alcohol. After parting ways and getting a good shower I looked down at my now sticky bed and just cheated by selling it and creating a new one. I then looked down at my toy box. First those guys that tried to kill me who were so well equipped, and then those things that attacked the other Canterlot. The first one wasn't so bad as they didn't kill anypony, just got whoever could get in their way out of it. But the attack on Canterlot was horrible. Granted most of the things I fought in that place were mindless attackers but they killed many innocents in their attack. It's time to step up my game. Rarity did her job well, by creating such beautiful works of art from my silk and advertising it. I've been getting many orders through my dummy company so my coffers were filling fast enough to start attracting some more capable recruits then an army of skeletons. Those are just sacrificial troops that I won't feel guilty about sending to their deaths. I'll need more like Vinyl, and have Trixie and Cluck trained up as well.

Closing my eyes I focused on one of the massive caverns I had dug out and turned it into a large treasury and set some imps to just dig away at a gem seam and keep filling it. Then I created a combat pit, casino and a small guard room, as well as a zoo, which is a room I created that attracts the bigger, and nastier animals this world has, as well as a beast master to train and care for them. I entertain the idea that it might attract Fluttershy but I doubt it. The heart will attract someone that will do the job and I can't see her training animals to fight let alone send them into battle. I built a massive hatchery next to that room and made a large portal with the other end in a large, unoccupied cave and set some deathtraps and locked doors between that room and the rest just in case something my heart didn't attract came in. Then picked another room to build a hangar big enough to build four flying dutchmans, a type of flying warship I invented for times of war in the past. That one doesn't actually attract anything. I then made all the imps not doing anything dig out a massive area where the path leading up to the forest was and created a shifting maze. A room I created to attracts minotaurs because even it they are clearly a class that can be attracted by one of my rooms, for some reason minotaurs won't come unless you have a maze. Also it's good for slowing invaders down. Lastly I created a massive farm room to grow food for the herbivores. With a satisfied nod I leave my room and head to the portal for Canterlot for breakfast and to talk to the girls about getting that skull sealed. Then maybe I'll get to work on one of those ships, even with the ability to get materials through transmuting gems or gold and being able to shape them into parts now through the inspiration manifestation spell it will still take time to put it all together, and longer still to create the mana battery to power it. It's going to need to be much bigger and more complex than the ones I incorporated into the traps so I can keep them going a short while without the heart supplying them. I have an imp take a diamond into the hanger and start rubbing it with it’s pickaxe to make it grow until it's big enough to make into the battery. Then I'm going to need a captain for it and that means giving them training to use it. I sigh as I walk as I think of all the work that I'm going to need to do when I start hearing strange sounds. I grin widely as I run over to the haunted room to see Vinyl and a few changelings in the room. I wondered if the torcher chamber would attract any of the kinky little things with the queen about. Vinyl is having a grand old time riding around the room in a flying chair as the piano plays itself and I can hear the sounds of rattling chains, the disturbing sound of an echoy filly's laughter and the sound of old floorboards creaking, oh and now the walls are bleeding.

"I love this room!" Vinyl shouted excitedly though the changelings looked uneasy about the place but for some reason stayed in the room.

"Not long now everyling. She'll crack soon and we'll win the bet." One of them said as they did their best to collectively look at the entire room at once.

"This room is awesome!" Vinyl cheered excitedly as I decided to just leave them be for now as I had a very important breakfast to get to.

When I come out into my room I'm surprised to see several day and night guards stationed inside my room. Four of them, two of each, walked up to me and saluted. "Greetings lady Rin, the princesses have assigned us to be your bodyguards till further notice." One of them said before moving to surround me in a protective formation and faced the same direction as me. The girls got me babysitters... In all retrospect I guess I can't blame them. I'll just put up with it till I get some suitable bodyguards under my command. I walk out of my room and down the halls with my protectors keeping step but before I got far I saw that twin earth pony mares were talking with some of the guards.

"Look, miss, we can't let you two pass. This way leads to the private chambers of the princesses and lady Rin and no pony is allowed entry without special permission. Regardless of any strange feelings you two might be having." One of the guards said to them. Strange feelings?

"Excuse me. What's going on here?" I ask as I walk up to them.

"Lady Rin, these two were trying to gain entrance to this area without authorization." The same guard said with a sharp salute.

"Ok, so why did you two want in here?" I asked them.

"Honor." One said with a very serious look on her face. The no nonsense type I see. When I realize that's all she was going to say I turn to her sister.

"What my sister is trying to say is, we come from a long line of guards. Though our father rebelled against this and instead went to work manufacturing lawn ornaments our grandfather taught us how to fight since we were little to one day join the guard ourselves. We even got our cutie marks in it." She said as she gestured to her flank. The both had crossed swords only they were different designs and miss series had the image of a helmet over her swords jolly roger style.

"So you two are off duty guards?" I asked getting a slight snort from one of the surrounding guards. Is that resentment in their eyes?

"No lady Rin, though we trained hard they always sent us away with something we should work on and when we did and tried again they would find something else we need to work on." The more talkative sister said with a touch of anger mixed in with each word. ...I see, now that I think about it I don't recall seeing one female guard. I knew that a world without prejudice is impossible but it still irks me to think that it's happening here. "We were visiting our grandfather after the recent prison break to check up on him, he's the warden you see. We were about to leave when we were drawn here by... the best I can describe it is a promise on the wind. A promise that if we come, we can serve as soldiers and crush our enemies and defeat those who shamed our grandfather." Well that's not cliché at all. Still the heart wouldn't have attracted them if they couldn't do the job

"That was me. Think of it as a magical help wanted sign. How would you two like to be knights? Swear loyalty to me and help protect Equestria from its enemies." My words caused looks of shock to everypony, even the quiet twin went wide eyed.

"Lady Rin! You can't do that!" One of my babysitters said while showing a momentary lapse in discipline.

I slowly turn to face him. "As a member of the royal family I'm within my rights in building my own military force so long as I can sustain it. I have the funds to pay my troops, the resources to give them proper arms and armor as well as feed them. So I think you'll find I can." I say in an authoritative tone.

"But you'll still need permission from the princesses!" He countered.

"They already know what I'm doing and agreed." Actually they just never tried to stop me from doing it even though they knew so that's counts.

"But, There are plenty of strong stallions signed up and waiting for an opening." Now he's trying to push their rejects on me?

"The spell called to them so they can do the job. Of course I will test them." After all this isn't like Trixie who will fight from the back while staying close to protection where I can pull her out if something gets too close. Its clear they were called to be black knights and black knights are up front in the thick of it. So I'll need to know where they are in their skills and what they need before I take them into battle. "In fact." I say as I look the nay saying pony up and down. "I trust you four are some big, strong and well trained stallions seeing as my loving nieces chose you as my protectors. Care to be the test for their fighting capabilities? Assuming they agree that is." I say as I turn back to them and without hesitation they bowed before me.

"I, Unyielding Blade, pledge my life and my might to you lady Rin. My blade will be your word as it will strike at your command. My body will be your shield as it will protect you and those you'd protect. Until my dying breath." Said the previously quiet mare now known as Unyielding Blade

"I, Swift Blade, pledge my life and my might to you lady Rin. My blade will be your word as it will strike at your command. My body will be your shield as it will protect you and those you'd protect. Until my dying breath." Her sister gave the same pledge. I honestly didn't think I'd get such a strong and binding pledge and so quickly. They must have really wanted to get such a job and denied it for some time to jump into this opportunity like that.

"Pretentious to make such an oath before you two have proven yourselves." One of the other guard said. They calmed down and became more confident at the chance to prove that the two mares wouldn't make good recruits for my forces. Not wasting any time I create a portal to the guards training ground outside. When outside I used inspiration manifestation to make heavy armor for the mares to keep it fair. I then created a rack with needlessly heavy training weapons with soft covering.

"Chose your weapons." I say as I gesture to them. The two mares chose the broadswords and were able to move them around with surprising ease. The two day guards took short swords and though momentary taken off balance from the surprising weight of the training tools I provided they were able to move about easily enough after. "The rules are simple. Disarm and then take down your opponent. No going for cheap shots." I say as they take their positions. "And begin!"

With that they all moved in. Unyielding quickly moved her blade and blocked just as the guard swung to attack and quickly struck the weapon out of his mouth by hitting its hilt with a hoof. He made to do the same but she dodged it and shoulder rammed him to the ground before pointing the tip of the training sword to his throat, winning the match. Instead of blocking the initial strike like her sister Swift dodged and used the momentum of her movement to swing her larger and heavier weapon against his smaller one, knocking it aside as she kept the swing while dodging his attempt to take her weapon with his hoof and as it came around she stopped it at his throat. If that fight and weapon were real he would have lost his head. Granted the situation was just too cliché for it to end any other way but still.

"That was... surprisingly one sided. I know that I was trying to attract knight level which is stronger then guard but you should have lasted longer then that." I say to the losers who just looked ashamed. Too ashamed... wait their armor is different then other day guards. "Don't tell me... You two are knights?" I ask making them look even more ashamed, causing me to sigh in annoyance before looking over to the night knights, which is now what they will forever be known as in my mind. "You two. Get in there. I want to see how you two hold up." They looked less confident but went in regardless. One took a spear and the other took a crossbow.

When I start the match the crossbow pony spread his bat wings and flew up into the air and started taking shots at Swift, forcing her to bob and weave. The spear pony moved in and faked a lunge at Unyielding but instead of trying to block like he thought she would she surprised us all by standing on her hind hooves and swinging her weapon down like an ax but because it was a fake attack he was able to pull back in time. Trying to take advantage of the mares heavier weapon he moved in for a real attack but she knocked the lunge off course with a foreleg before grabbing it with her armpit and twisting it out of his mouth before pulling her weapon out and making to jab him but he jumped back before it could hit. He then tried to jump for his spear only for Unyielding to swing her weapon into his path and swung, hitting him in the chest and stopping him cold. By this time the crossbow pony was out of ammo and just flying there with no idea what to do. When it was clear he was just going to stay up there I sighed and called it a win for the mares.

"But she didn't disarm or strike me." The flying pony complained.

"You were just flying there. In a real battle you're expected to stop your enemy. All you were doing is making yourself a target. Though I will give you this. You two did far better then those two." I said as I point at the day knights which got some deep frowns. Though I'm disappointed in the girl's knights I'm pleased with mine and am impressed at how well they wield such weapons with both their mouths and hooves.

"Come on I need my breakfast." I say after dispelling the things I conjured and creating a portal to the dining room.


"Aunty, Who are your friends?" Celly asked as I entered with my new knights and the babysitters that have gotten back into character.

"My new black knights. Speaking of knights when testing their skills I found yours severely lacking Celly. Yours were better Lulu but still need work. I understand, after so many years of peace things could easily get lax but that was ridiculous." I reply.

"They couldn't have been too bad. The guard have kept the piece successfully for many generations." Celestia said as she looked over her knights.

"Let me share a memory with you." I say with a deadpan as I show them the test.

"Hmmm, Perhaps we should take a close look at the training our guards go through." Celestia said as the girls give pointed looks at the ones that were meant to be protecting me.

"Thou can just take a look if thou wants. But we will make sure to get our guards the most brutal trainer we can find that will make the one they have now look like a mother hen!" Luna said angrily toward her knights making them sweat bullets.

"Now now Lulu. Lets keep calm for our breakfast. We can whip our militaries into shape after." Celly said sweetly which caused Luna to do Cadence's breathing exercise.

"Thou are right sister. Though we will do something before we retire today." Luna said before turning to me. "Aunty we visited thy dreams last night and we have a question." Oh great, drunk dreaming. What did she see? "Thou were singing a song that we are curios about." Oh, that doesn't sound so bad. I think as I take a drink from my glass. "Who doth be this Oscar Mayer and why doth everypony want to be his wiener?" I then demonstrated yet again how much help the day guard needs when one on the other side of the room failed to dodge the flying milk that struck him right between the eyes. Which I do believe is the furthest distance I ever got out of my nose.

"Aunty, what's so funny?" Celestia asked before turning to Luna. "And what's a wiener?" She asked only to get a confused shrug from Luna.

"It's nothing." I answer as I regain control of myself. Thankfully they dropped it after giving me a curious look.

"Aunty, In our absence the ponies created a holiday in our image in a, less than favorable light. We are going to Ponyville to start on turning it into something truly grand and were hoping thou would come to the celebration with us?" she asked me in a hopeful tone.

"I'd be happy to spend the night celebrating your holiday with you." I say with a smile as she hops in her seat with excitement. "By the way where is Blueblood?" I ask as I see that he's absent.


(In Blueblood's room.)

"West side report!" Blueblood shouted as he turned to the guards stationed at his windows while he stood in the center of his room wearing a fine generals uniform with a well decorated sword on his side.

"No suspicious activity yet sir! But I did see that one of the teachers in Celestia's school for gifted unicorns got glued to their seat cushion again and is now walking around with extra padding." One of his guards reported.

"Didn't need to know that last bit but ok. Eastside report!" Blueblood said as to turned to the east.

"The door is sealed and secure sir!" The guard protecting the door reported.

"Very good. Southside report!"

"Still keeping your bathroom secure even though you won't let me use it sir!" the guard standing inside the bathroom reported.

"I told you that you can go find a restroom after you have been relieved of duty." Blueblood replied.

"I believe that's a paradox sir!" The guard said but Blueblood ignored him.

"Northside report!"

"Still a wall sir!" The guard charged with looking after the wall reported.

"Good! If that disgusting ruffian thinks he can get in here and defile my room again he will be in for a most unpleasant surprise." Prince Blueblood said with a challenging grin.


(Back at the dining room.)

"He's um... working on his military skills. Commanding guards in a war game." Celestia said as she watched me finish my plate. "Aunty is something wrong? You wolfed your food down so quickly." She asked with a frown.

"Sorry Celly but I have work to do. But before I go I'm going to need your help with something. And Cadence as well." I say as I show them the memory of what happened with Ax's world and the info on the skull. The girls look rather pissed about it but give no outburst.

"Of cores Aunty. I'll get Cadence and together we'll work on the spell if you would kindly make the container." I nod to her before getting up to leave with my new knights flanking me, the babysitter made to follow but were stopped by the girls.

"And where doth thou think that thou are going? It would appear to us that thou are in need of more training." Luna said in annoyance.

"Do look after our aunt Rin. We would be heartbroken if anything happened to her." Celestia said to my black knights in that sweet, motherly tone of hers as she telekinetically pulled her knights back.

"My lady, are my sister and I all that your spell called to?" Swift asked as we walked down the hall.

"No of course not. You two just so happened to be close by. The ones further away will need time to get here." I answered

"I see, if I may ask my lady. How far does it reach?" Swift asked.


(The Dragonlands.)

Black Fire looked off into the distance with a wicked looking smile. She was a powerful black dragoness and the head of her clan because of it. She towered over the other dragons under her and as the strongest her word was law. Though it wasn't always like that. Black dragons aren't born they're made by eating the right minerals often enough and the dragon grows bigger and their scales harden and darken until completely black. Black dragons are so rare because getting the right minerals is so hard. But long ago she subjugated herself to another who had a power over the land no dragon could match and so she feasted on them daily and was trained to be a great fighter and now enjoyed the benefits. And now it looks like the fox is back and preparing for war and Black Fire will happily offer up her children to Rin. And in exchange she will make them far stronger than they could ever get here, they will be well trained and undoubtedly get real battle experience. All of which will guarantee her bloodline more power in the long run. But then she frowned, she wasn't the only dragon Rin recruited and the others will have the same plan. She was smart enough to claim the lands closest to Equestria so her offspring will have a head start. She can't control how many dragons Rin will want but she'll be damned if she lets even one dragon get through till she was sure that all of her children filled an opening in the fox's ranks. Turning her head she spotted the fastest flyer in her clan.

"Wendy Rider! Gather my children and bring them to me. I'll need you to transport them someplace as fast as you can." She watched as he flew off to find them with a smile that shows every last fang in her mouth.


(Borders between the Griffin Empire and Equestria.)

Crocodile Dunbeak was flying over the border with his hat decorated with the fangs of several predators and his whip on his side. He is among the best beast trainers in the world but anyone that would hire him never appreciated the work of a true genius. But now he follows a promise on the wind that he will not only get one. But the opportunity to work with new and exciting creatures nofeather ever worked with before and he couldn't resist the call. He wasn't the only one either as another griffin was flying the same way. He was obviously a fighter as he wore body armor and carried a large sword on his back.


(The Friendship Express moving thru the minotaur republic.)

Heading back to Equestria Ticket Taker was confused by the group of minotaur warriors with large, packed bags and large weapons riding the train. He really should just punch their tickets and move on but... Those weapons were just so big.


(Back with me as we enter my dungeon.)

"Pretty far." I answer as we head towards the haunted room.

"Wait you died sitting on the toilet? I thought you said you died peacefully in your sleep." I heard Vinyl ask.

"I did." An echoey voice answered.

"Wow, and I thought mine was bad. I drowned at a party for lifeguards... to celebrate a full season of nopony drowning." another ghostly voice echoed.

"Vinyl! I got some black knights that need the special welcome!" After I spoke Vinyl showed up in a red flash with a huge shit eating grin on her face. I then conjured armor and their preferred weapons on them causing them to grunt in surprise. "Those are for training. The real ones will be lighter and more durable." I tell them just before Your creatures are under attack! Your creatures are falling in battle! My eyes widen at hearing this as I use my sight of evil to see my timber wolves being cut down by a centaur that kills them by sucking the magic out of them. Tirek! I quickly pull the survivors much to Tirek's confusion. "Belay that, we have an enemy. A magic eater, he's weak so we strike now!" I create a portal and jump through with my three minions behind me.

When we get to the other side he's nowhere to be seen and he's not using his dark magic so I can't sense him. "Vinyl can you sniff him out?" I ask and she sniffs the air a few times before nodding and following her nose with Swift following her then me then Unyielding last in line. As we walk across a ledge I'm suddenly pulled up in a net attached to a vine that was hanging from the higher cliff on the other side and I'm sent swinging to the other side as my team watches in shock. When I reach the other side my net is grabbed and I'm now facing the wide open mouth of Tirek as he makes that vacuum sound. I panic for a moment before I realize something. So that's how it works. Well that explains why he needed to get stronger before trying to take the princesses in the show. He attached his magic to mine and is trying to real it in. It's a tug of war and the one with the most muscle wins. He must have thought I was an animal and so easy pickings. With a wide grin I pull back and he gets a look of panic as his magic along with what he stole from the animals he was feeding on was pulled out of him and into me.

"No!" He shouts as he pulls a dagger out and tries to kill me to get it back but I catch it in my magic and pull it away from him just as Vinyl teleported in and knocked him out in one blast. I swing back and my black knights catch me and pull me in before cutting me free. When I stand up Vinyl teleports back to our side with the unconscious villain.

"So what are we going to do with him?" Vinyl asked as she looked down at the now powerless enemy...


(Later that day.)
Tirek groaned as he came to and saw that he is in some kind of cage. The prison cell has a kitty pool full of strange pellets and a clear tank of water that has a pipe dripping water and a large wheel on one wall. Boom boom boom He turned in shock to see a giant blue unicorn with silver hair walks past. Moving as fast as he could he stuck his head out through the bars to look around at the giant room. Looking down he sees a plaque at the base of his prison with the name 'Mister Nibbles' written clearly.

Bonus Chapter. My Pet Dungeon #2

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Looking down in fear Elegant Notes shivered as she sat back in her seat. "Are you sure this is safe?" She asked from her seat in the toy car.

"Yes its safe. Don't worry you're safe with me, no matter how bad it may seem having your life in my paws I would never do anything that would harm you." I say with a reassuring smile to the tiny Pony I was playing with before I wind up the toy and let it go. Elegant lets out a startled squeak as she shot forward but managed to grab the wheel and turn in time before she could crash into a toy castle. She swerved around it and onto the train tracks but the tracks went up before she could drive off and she was now forced to follow them. With two little toots I saw my toy train come barreling toward her. It's body was made of bone with a wolf skull at the front with a blood red light coming from its nose cavity expertly shaped and furnished to look like a high class build. It had a steam punk like appearance as I had used the necrotech I learned from Ax to build it. It had illusion enchantments woven in to be transparent, to look like a ghost train, as well as one to make it look like moaning ghosts were coming out of the chimney. And though it's hard to tell at this size for her the toots will sound like unholy wails mixed with a train's whistle. I can even grow it to use on normal tracks or even without tracks with a lever that switches the wheels if I wanted. Not as efficient as an airship but it was just too epic of an idea not to build it. Also I really like trains. It's one of the best dark artifacts ever!

"I thought you said I would be safe!" I heard her shout from the toy car as she helplessly drove towards it.

"You are. All of the toys in my play room are designed for the shrunken. Everything fully functional built to add extra protection. Even crashing into engine 99 wouldn't hurt you inside that thing. It was designed and enchanted for the riders protection. Now relax and have fun. You have no idea how many humans would pay to play in this room. I guarantee you can't safely have this kind of thrill in a normal sized ride." I say as I watch her make a sharp turn to avoid the train and start screaming as she fell. Maybe I'm going a bit far. Ponies rarely enjoy thrill rides. I catch her in a paw before she could hit the ground and looked inside to see her breathing heavily and clinging to her seat. "Maybe calmer games from now on?" I asked her which she nods vigorously to.


(half an hour of calming down later.)

"Better?" I ask the now normal sized pony as she sipped her tea.

"Yes, much. So shall we continue the interview?" She asked which I just give her a polite nod. "Very well, I might as well get this one out of the way. My son wanted to know this one. Can you make a room that can make beings into cyborgs and make them immune to most magic?" she asked

"Well, I can make a room to do anything so long as I know how it works. So I'm afraid that's a no. Though I have a talent for necrotech along with anything dark, that's for the undead and incompatible with living tissue. I just don't know how to build that. As for the immune to magic, I can make something called Bone metal which requires at least a master level understanding of necromancy to do. Its compressing bones into a dense armor that's extremely tough. If I make some from dragons bones it would be resistant to magic but not immune." She nods at my answer before asking a new one.

"How does your minion summoning spell work and can you teach it?" She asked.

"I'm not going to teach it to anyone, it's dark magic. I can safely use dark magic because my body produces the stuff naturally as much as yours produces the normal kind. It can't corrupt me because I'm already darkness, its kind of like trying to burn a lava pool by throwing a burning torch into it. But I can give a basic explanation without any details for anyone to try. First it looks at what I want. If it finds someone or something I want it will then look for any allegiances they might have that would trump mine. I'm talking employers or rulers not family. Then if they find no potential rivals for loyalty it looks for what they want. First the environment they want which is where the rooms come in. Then what they crave. Power, revenge, wealth or whatever and it uses this to lure them in with promises of the things they want. But only if working for me will get it for them." I reply as she wrote on her notepad.

"I see, What are the strange creatures who come under your 'banner'?"

"I can attract and create all sorts of things. The lowest are the ammo monsters. Undead created from creatures so small they are useless for anything but bullets. Like undead birds and bats with bombs inside that they will trigger when they fly into the target. And one of my favorite traps / projectile is the undead swarm. Undead wasps, flies and the like all filling a container that when opened will have them swarm the enemy while leaving friends alone. Problem with them is finding enough dead bugs to properly fill one. It takes so long to make one because of this. Next up are the expendables. Skeletons and flesh golems are the main bulk of them. They have no souls and feel nothing so no guilt about marching them to their destruction. They are usually my first wave to test the waters so I can plan my strategy in battle. Next up are the beasts. Small ones like wolves and big ones like a hydra. They are easy to attract as they only want a safe place to sleep and get paid in food. Then there is the controllers. Like the beastmaster with the monster class beasts. The controller doesn't fight but controls something else on the battlefield that can do a lot of damage. Then the tanks are the ones that can take a lot of damage and dish it out in the thick of it. The support minions like my mages attack from a distance and can even bring affects to aid in the fight. Then there are the teamed minions. They are a group that act as a single unit. For example the crew on a war ship. There are also non combatants that just work at the dungeon." I say.

"I heard you had some kind of toy ball as a minion. Is that one of the worker minions?" She asked.

"Bouncy? No she's just used as a toy that plays back. I have given her the best training thinking that maybe she can attack like a giant pinball bouncing off everything and pummeling everything in a room. She can but it's not very effective. It can only really annoy anything she fights. and do no more damage then you would get playing dodge ball." I answer.

"How do you know it's a she?" She asked with a head tilt.

Because it has Rainbow Dash's cutie mark. "I can just tell with my magic." She buys in and moves on.

"What troops did you prefer back in the day and what troops do you like in this modern time?" She asked.

"I can't chose, I love them all. Or are you asking what I use most in battle? Skeletons are what gets used most in a battle but the library and lab are what gets used most outside of it so any minions that can use them are used more than the skellys. Also black knights are used as body guards and law enforcers if need be so they get fair use as well." I answer.

"Alright, I hope you don't take this wrong but, what exactly are you?" She asked uncomfortably.

"I'm a Kitsune, a powerful fox that is wise and cunning and has a love of pranks. I don't know if you noticed but being one also makes me playful like a child." I answer.

"I noticed." She said with a deadpan as she remembered the play room. "Is it true you have all kinds of dirt on the Princesses?"

"..."

"Are you alright?" She asked at my silence.

"I'm ok, just having an internal struggle." I say but after a short while I sigh. "Yes I do, but I can't tell you. Baby pictures are one thing but blabbing their embarrassing secrets to a reporter would be too much of a dick move."

"I understand." She said with clear disappointment. "So, where are you from?"

"A magical place called Florida. It has beautiful beaches, amazing parks filled with wild rides, and oranges and old people as far as the eye can see." I say before I look down at her and with a huge grin lean over her. "I see you've finished the tea. That means it's back to play time." She only responds with an audible gulp and a nervous smile.

Nightmare Night! What a Fright!

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It is the witching hour, curses are half price.

"This one is perfect! Aren't I the prettiest pony daddy?" Diamond Tiara asked her father as she strutted around in her new platypuses costume, her fake beak flapping up and down with her muzzle.

"Er, yes princess. But wouldn't you rather dress as an alicorn princess like you do every year?" Filthy Rich asked his daughter. Rarity was looking at the young filly in silent horror. She doesn't even know where that hideous thing came from. She certainly didn't make that thing. She knew that Nightmare night was a lucrative time of the year and the point was to be scary but that thing could scar a pony for life. And her friend, why of all things would she be wearing that!

"Um, Silver Spoon... Why are you dressed as a toilet?" Her father asked as he looked down at his daughter in her white body suit and the bowl helmet with the lid just opened enough that he could see her eyes. Though strangely enough her cutie mark was already on it's flank area.

"Because I make it look good." Silver Spoon boasted as she admired herself in a mirror.

Both of their fathers looked unsure about their choices but both of them always had the same parenting method. What their princesses wanted, their princesses got.

"Alright miss Rarity. How much for the costumes." Mr. Rich asked her as his daughter and her friend took them off and bagged them before running off with their new costumes.

"I-I-I N-no! I didn't make those things!" Rarity said in a panic.

"Oh?" Rich asked before a look of realization crossed his face. "Oh I understand. No worries miss Rarity I've made mistakes in business before. I can understand that you don't want anypony to know you made those costumes for the sake of your reputation and I promise that nopony needs to know." Filthy Rich said which Silver Tongue nodded to in agreement before they both dropped a bag of bits each at her hooves and walked out while Rarity just looked from the bags and the door in too much shock about what she just witnessed. She was thankful that Sweetie Bell wasn't here. The poor dear would be traumatized by seeing such bad fashion.


“Thanks for playing dolls with me miss Rin. Normally when my sister finds a babysitter to keep me out of her mane when she’s busy they won’t play with me at all.” Sweetie Bell said to me with a big smile.

“Thats ok Sweetie. I used to play dolls with Celestia and Luna all the time.” It also helps that I found my own way to make such a boring game fun. I think to myself as I took the Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon dolls and put them in a box which I locked and sent away to my private vault where I keep the things I don’t want anyone, not even my own minions messing with. The spell’s effect should end before tomorrow morning. I wish I could see their faces when they realised what they went out in. “Its almost time to go. You may be in your vampire costume but I need to get dressed. Why don’t you play with Mr. Nibbles again while I’m doing that?” I ask as I can hear the tiny protests coming from the cage in the corner and Sweetie squealed excitedly as she runs over to the dungeon’s pet. I use my hand of evil to bring in Trixie to watch her while I’m gone even though the room was locked. I just couldn’t allow a crusader free reign of the place. Also Trixie refused to partake in Nightmare night when she heard it was in Ponyvile so she might as well watch the squirt for a moment seeing as I know she’s not getting ready herself. I then create a portal to my room and use inspiration manifestation to go through different costume ideas.

A few weeks have past since we adopted Mr. Nibbles and I was happy to find that Ax sent me my own copy of his book. I could tell it wasn’t complete. There were obvious skips in them and warnings on every page. Not that I minded as it gave me the information that I wanted and I was glad for the warning as I didn’t want any unpleasant surprises. Though I needed to experiment with energy from what he wrote about that coal. I did build a warjack prototype but I haven’t finished a power source for it yet. But I was able to make one fully functional minion from that book. It was close enough to my flesh golems that I decided it was a good first project from the book. The hard part was finding a ghost willing to inhabit the body. All in all things were going well in my little dungeon though a few of my new minions baffled me. When I built the potion lab I expected it would attract Zecora. But no, not her or Twilight, but that one was no surprise with her loyalty to Celestia the heart wouldn’t have even considered her. I could think of several ponies or types of individuals but I never would have guessed at who my heart would attract. Berry Punch...I’m almost certain that she's using half the vats to make some kind of alcohol and though I will admit she somehow manages to do a good job I haven’t seen her sober once.

And my casino attracted a team of rogues which isn’t that strange except that they’re all breezies that specialized in stealing rare materials to sell on the black market to some depraved individuals that were stolen from famous mares. And apparently they fetch a higher price the dirtier the stuff is when they take it. In other words they were professional panty raiders...

I finally found a costume that I liked. “This one will do.” I say as I look at myself dressed in my green Riddler tuxedo and tie with the mask over my eyes and even the hat. Not scary but a fun character. Speaking of which the invites I sent to my friends should be activating any moment now. I think as I use a portal to jump back into the room I left Sweetie in to see that she and Trixie were taking a sadistic delight in dressing Mr. Nibbles up and putting makeup on him. I just grin and shake my head at the sight before looking around to see if the invitations I sent to Doom and Ax were accepted.

That's when I saw a portal open up and Asphyxious walks out of it with an anthro pony and wait, is that Gilda? The Lich then did a bow before throwing up his arms into the air and started to shout. “I am Asphyxious, Lich Lord of the Diamond Dogs, King of all alpha’s, Look at me and despa-!” That’s when the anthro Griffon hit him up side the head. She crossed her arms and glared at the Lich. “Cut that out you said we were coming here to relax and have some fun not hear you blow hot air.” Gilda said taping her lion paw foot on the floor.

Gilda was wearing some kind of blue armour, as for the pony she had what looked like a cloak. Going by how one part of her hood was sticking up I would say she is a unicorn.

I tilt my head in confusion. I was more than certain that when I was in his world it was one of quadrupeds like in mine.

“Gilda what happened to you?” Trixie asked when she saw them. As I recall they talked for a while at the celebration in Ax’s world though I don’t know what about.

“Yes I was wondering about the Anthro thing myself.” I say as I look them over.

It a long story.” Asphyxious said as he rubs the back of his head. “Some griffons calling themselves, Die Leucht showed up and set off a magic bomb that did this. To everyone on the planet.” He explained pointing at Gilda and the pony next to him.

I blink a few times in confusion. “Why? Whats the point of creating such a thing that would require an absurd amount of energy to not only change the physiology of everyone but manage to affect the entire planet? What could they possibly gain from that?” I ask in a bewildered voice.

Don’t know the Griffons were anthro before the bomb went off. My guess is they're from another world or some Displaced sent them to test the thing. For all I know they could be acting on their own.” Said Asphyxious as he looks at Gilda getting odd looks from Trixie.

Let me guess she’s never seen a griffon with breasts before?” He asked.

“To be fair neither have I. And I can’t even make the right jokes for that statement because there is a filly present.” I say as I gesture to Sweetie as she was petting Mr. Nibbles.

Asphyxious looked at her then he let out a girly squeal as he rushes over and start hugging her. The Hooded pony just giggles at this as she walks up to me then holds out her metal claw like hand. “I’m Moondancer it is lovely to meet you.”

I give a polite smile and shake her mechanical claw. “I’m Rin and the same. I hope this doesn't sound rude but may I ask how you died?” I asked with curiosity.

She gave a some what sad smile and pulled a part of her mane away to show a stitched up scar just under her horn. “I was shot in the head. Asphyxious tried to save me but sadly lost all my memories of my life. All he knew about me was my name and that I had a family at one time. He doesn't know if they are even alive or not.” She said putting her mane back to hiding the scar.

“I need an adult, I need an adult!” Sweetie squealed from Asphyxious arms as he was lovingly cuddling her.

“Don’t worry Sweetie, Ax won’t do anything bad to you, he’s my friend.” I try to reassure her.

“What do you mean bad? That was just something Rarity told me to yell if a strange pony grabs me up and I can’t get away.” She said with fear as she looked at Asphyxious with worry and clutched Mr. Nibbles tightly to her chest like he was a teddy causing him to grumble at the undignified situation he was in.

That was when I saw Trixie touching Ax’s Gildas breasts in fascination. Gilda looked more annoyed than anything else. “Stop it.” The Griffoness growled. That's when I saw she was slowly reaching for her sword.

I magically locked her sword into its sheath so she couldn't draw it and picked up Trixie then deposited her next to me while silently wishing that I could do what she was just doing but that would be rude.

Asphyxious then let Sweetie go which she immediately ran under me and hid behind my forelegs and Ax went back over to his little group. “I couldn’t help it, shes my favorite.” He said with a chuckle.

I use my magic to slick her messy mane back into its position for her vampire costume as I responded. “I can understand that but try not to do that when we get into town or everypony will think you’re a pedo.”

I make no promises, I like to hug things I think are cute.” The Lich said with a nod. I saw Gilda roll her eyes with a small smile and Moondancer giggling.

A small movement catches my eye and I see that Mr Nibbles is hiding behind a toy next to the door, waiting for it to open. “No Mr. Nibbles you can’t go wandering around on your own.” I say as I pick him up in my telekinesis.

Mr. Nibbles?” Asphyxious said in confusion.

I then move Mr. Nibbles over to them to show him off in his little doll dress and makeup that Sweetie had dressed him up in. “He’s the dungeon pet.” I answer.

Asphyxious was laughing so hard I think something broke. Gilda was just smiling and Moondancer smiled to. “Awww its cute.” Said the somewhat undead pony.

“I will destroy you all!” He shouted in rage but it just came out in that high pitched voice anyone shrunken has.

Oh my god! Hahahaha! Wait, wait say something else!” Asphyxious asked in between his laughter.

“Submit and I will show you mercy creature of metal and bone. Bow before me!” Mr. Nibbles demanded.

That just seemed to make the Lich laugh even harder. “Wait, say I will destroy you all with an iron fist. You obey the fist.” Asphyxious asked trying to control his laughter and failing.

“If you don’t submit to me I will do more than that monster!” Mr. Nibbles shouted angrily.

It is like a mini invader Zim!” At this point Asphyxious was rolling on the floor laughing like mad.

“He can be a bit grouchy at times. We had to get him dehorned because he kept poking everyone with them.” I say as I watch Ax struggle to get up. I find it somewhat baffling that an undead would be having trouble breathing.

“Trixie thinks you should just have him neutered. That will calm him down.” Trixie said which causes me to cringe. As a former male I would never allow that to happen. No one in this world is evil enough to deserve that!

“What does neutered mean?” Mr. Nibbles asked in confusion.

You get your balls removed.” Asphyxious said bluntly as he get himself under control.

“Balls? I don’t play with children's toys she can have them for all I care.” He said. Obviously not getting what he meant.

...The things inbetween your legs man…” The Lich deadpan at him.

It took a few moments of Mr. Nibbles looking at us in incomprehension before it shifted to a look of horror and he turned as white as one of my ghosts. “That's barbaric! Who would come up with such a torture method! Even Sombra was never that cruel!” He said with a shaky voice as he looked at Trixie, who was just giving him a creepy smile.

“I can help with that, if you want.” Said Gilda giving off an even more creepy smile to match her friend.

Mr. Nibbles looked at Gilda’s razor sharp talons and trembled with fear. “No! You can’t! I’ll be good just please not that!” He said in a panic before turning to look at me. “Put me back in the cage, please!” He begged me and I showed pity then put him back into his home. The moment his hooves touched woodchips he quickly dug into them and buried himself to hide.

What is that little guy anyway?” Asked Asphyxious looking into the cage.

“He is… or was one of the biggest bad guys in this world's history. He would literally suck the magic out of everything he came across and grew bigger and stronger because of it. He tried to take mine but was too weak so I took his, then I shrunk him down. Now that he doesn't have any magic he can’t steal any from others.”

Asphyxious slowly moves away from the cage and looks at me. “And now you keep him as a house pet? Brilliant!” He said.

It was around this time that a familiar if not more powerful static feeling rippled into the room, causing those close enough to it to have their fur stand on end with the sight of Doctor Doom in his grey metal armor and green flowing cape to form. With a slightly larger by appearance figure until what could literally be shown as a black anthro pony upper half with a strong lower spider build with eight legs, wearing a facial guard with two tubes leading to her back with six tinted eye goggles over them. Though the more noticeable part was the segmented armor you would see worn by swat or the army but black with even her legs and arms covered too. Though what looked like a brand or ‘flag’ of a Human Skull inlaid on her helmet and chestplate. The small turret like dual barrels on her spider abdomen turned with her gaze.

“I have come to accept the invitation offered by Rin, for this ‘event’. My-” Doom took a moment to appraise her before looking back at us continuing. “‘-Arachnipony Oath Sworn, has come along to fulfill her duties to me as her. God….” The last word he said sounded as if he wasn’t use to being referred to as such, at least not yet as she even bowed her head lower but remained silent. Only to stare quietly at the rest of us, but her gaze finally shifted to Sweetie Bell in her Vampony costume giving off what sounded like a slight growl pointed at her.

“Don’t like kids?” I ask the pony maiden of the nest as I block her view of Sweetie with my tails. My tone giving a slight warning to leave Sweetie alone.

“Don’t worry Daddy will keep everyone safe.” Said an anthro Sweetie Bell. Who was standing next to Rin on her other side dressed as a pirate.

Upon seeing another her Sweetie lost all of her fear on the pony/spider hybrid and rushed over to her. “Oh my gosh you’re me! Are you a clone of me? Are you my long lost sister lost at birth?” She then let out a gasp as her eyes shot wide open. “Do you have your cutie mark?!” She asked in her trademark squeaky voice before grabbing her doubles pants and pulling them down! When she saw that her flank was blank she gasped in excitement. “Want to join my club! Were the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we are always on our quest to find our cutie marks!”

“No I’m a changeling. My name is Pupa it nice to meet you. I’d also love to join your club.” Said the Pirate Sweetie Bell after she pulled her pants back up then holding her hand out to Sweetie Bell which she gladly takes with her hoof and shacks.

Pupa.” Asphyxious said looking down at both Sweetie Bell’s. “How did you get here.” The tone Asphyxious was using was something like a father finding out that their kid broke a rule. The Pirate Sweetie giggled a little as she try to hide behind one of my tails.

“I heard you was going to a party and wanted to come to.” Asphyxious then got down and petted the changeling child on the head. “If you wanted to come along you could of just asked, what would happen if I was sent home and you got stuck here? You’d have you mother worried sick.” She just nods her head at this then went up to the Lich then hugs him and he hugs her back.

Beside you used Occultation, when did you learn that spell?” Asphyxious asked sounding proud of the little changeling.

Doom coughed once, having masked what must have been clicks and growls from his company before he spoke to me. “My ‘Oath Sworn’ and her species has had a few generations of ‘bad blood’ due to an incident that is as blurry as the hundred year war, the short of it is that she perceives any sort of undead as threats to herself and me by proximity to any.” He gestured to the combat ready attendant watching vigilantly.

“I see. First of all she is just wearing a Nightmare Night costume and is not an undead...Secondly I can assure you that any undead in my dungeon now is completely unrelated to what happened in your world and won’t attack you unless you attack first. Also there will be plenty of normal, living ponies dressed up as undead tonight so I would appreciate it if you kept your issues with the undead under control tonight.” I say to her in a calming voice I learned from years of babysitting the girls and dealing with nobles. There is very little difference between nobles and toddlers. Both are prone to temper tantrums.

Asphyxious then put Pupa as I understand it on one of his shoulders and raises his hand up. “I also have a living body so I’m not sure if I can be classed as an undead or not so ya.” He said scratching the side of his head. “Let's just leave that alone for now.

Doom pointed at said arachnipony, her eyes flicked to him immediately before he pointed at his eyes. Causing her to shuffle her legs for a moment, looking down at him with a nod. “You do nothing but watch over me and only act if any come in physical reach in a HOSTILE manner, also no ‘WILD HUNTS’ while we are here.” He stressed certain words making sure she nodded in understanding when it was said, though there was a look in her eyes at the last words that gave a hungry expression.

“I take it you’re hungry. Among the chambers of my dungeon I can create a magic room that will spawn an infinite supply of chickens. Take one and it will be replaced in mere seconds. Would you like to stop there for a bite to tide you over?” I ask… Ok from now on she will always be known in my mind as Spidermare! After seeing the look in her eyes and hearing Doom say something about hunting.

Why do I get the feeling your friend wants to kill me Doom.” Asphyxious asked in a joking manner.

Doom nodded at me in a arm gesture of ‘lead on may you’, only to turn to AX with a likely smile in his refined tone. “That lich, would likely be the case you are viewed as a ‘Vampire’s’ equivalent of a lieutenant leading the undead. Though they often fight Flyers of any sort, tends to make it challenging.” Doom walked to the doorway with Spidermare in step behind him with the spider abdomen mounted dual turret watching the rear.

“Trixie please keep looking after Sweetie till we’re ready to leave. I don’t think she should see this.” I tell her before closing and relocking the door when the others came through.

Asphyxious then put Pupa down and has her follow Trixie out. Gilda and Moondancer go with them as well. “Right only this was done to me by a dragon… make sure she know about that. If you ever meet him don’t fight just run, I know I would.” Said Asphyxious as he starts to look around the dungeon.

Doom just watched him skeptically before turning to face me, with the slightly taller spidermare behind him. “May we be led there so she can have nourishment of a ‘fresh’ sort then hopefully stop delaying this party we were invited to?” Doom left room to follow as spider mare walked onto the wall closest to him, looking quite calm perhaps on the outside even naturally in gazing around from AX’s companions to the doorways.

“The closest hatchery is the giant one in the zoo. Please do not antagonize the animals or try to hand feed them.” I say as I lead them down the tunnel and take a shortcut through the hanger only partly because it was faster. I mostly wanted to show off the flying dutchmen. Steel airships with sentry traps all over it. Two balloons on each sides to hold the clouds and enchanted crystals set in places to create a shield for them. At the head of it was a giant kitsune mask and it had propellers built into four extensions in the back and some more between the balloons for maneuverability. And if one were to look at the top they would see catapults for launching explosives from the large ships.

Why not, I have metal hands?” Asked Asphyxious wiggling his fingers. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. “By the way is ‘IT’ under lock and key?

“One, the zoo is for holding the giant monster types and the ones I have now can still take off those hands in one bite. As for ‘IT’. It’s currently at the bottom of a pool of lava in a room filled with traps designed to kill any intruder. Guarded by one hundred soulless skeleton soldiers all trained to a high level, as well as five hundred, also soulless, undead birds with powerful explosives in their chests that they will detonate when they come into contact with any intruders that make it inside the room. This of course is behind several steel and magic doors in the middle of a room I invented called a shifting maze. Which as you might guess is a maze with constantly shifting walls which is also being patrolled by one hundred skeletons of high caliber. And the entrance to the maze is also guarded by steel and magic doors and traps. All of which are guarded by two black knights at all times. All of this is in a hidden sealed passage deep beneath the earth protected by fear traps."

Asphyxious give out a sigh of relief at this. “That one thing off my mind.” He said sounding very relaxed now..

Doom just looked at our interaction, while spidermare had worked herself onto the ceiling following after us as her eyes likely tracked Doom’s movements. “What would this ‘IT’ be? Also your Hanger is rather nice of a small sized variety.” He commented looking at my flying dutchmen, even offering a suggestion for slightly improved airflow by adjusting the front edges of the balloons with a paper enchanted seal over the stitching seams which I listen to carefully.

Asphyxious looked at Doom and said this. “You don’t want to know, let just say if ‘IT’ got out everything on this planet is as good as dead.

“Thanks Doom. Yes it is rather small but I don’t need any more ships at the moment but I left plenty of room to expand it. And thanks for the advice. Also Ax is right. I’m waiting on some preparations to have ‘IT’ sealed in a special container and use the collective magic of myself and my nieces to have it and some imps sent to a lifeless planet and build an even more elaborate defence to keep ‘IT’ from getting loose on this world. Even if I need to turn the entire thing into one giant dungeon.” I say with annoyance. That thing has been annoying me since I got it. My dungeon has been alerting me of an enemy presence every hour. Though I will admit that it’s a little cool that I attracted a windigo with it. Even if I needed to give it its own living area away from the others so it won't freeze them.

We then came into the zoo which I made to look like an indoors Jurassic park. So far I had a war hog which was a giant bore about the size of a bus, a young hydra, and a Tatzlwurm.

Doom’s eyes trailed over the zoo I held, his eyes trailing up to spidermare as she’s STILL walking on the ceiling. With a bit more obvious hunger reaction when seeing them, though reeling herself in when he made the gesture of ‘I’m watching you.’ at her. Which she nodded and took on an almost perfect stoic ‘mask’, to be alert though casting glances at the larger beasts. “She is a Carnivore type so you know, odd for a pony type but an interesting thing to watch.”

So much bacon…” Asphyxious said staring at the bore. “This could feed my dogs for years.” He said in awe.

“The hatchery is over on that side of the room.” I say as I pointed to the food before turning to Ax. “He is a member of my army and has his own steel body armor with spikes. Imagine seeing that charging at an army like a rampaging rhino. He is not food. But I guess if he dies in battle I can send his remains over. I would hate to see him go to waste. But don’t hold your breath. His armor guards anything vital well.” I say to him.

I’ve had a run in with an army of Farrows, I have a pretty good idea what this guy could do. As long as you don’t give him metal arms we’re good.” Asphyxious said eyeing the bore.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re from or what a Farrow is. Though I can guess based on the fact you compared them to Rhino here.” I say as I gesture to my war hog.

Doom simply rolled his eyes slowly, walking towards the hatchery with an eager spidermare following him up high on the ceiling towards the destination. Taking care to appear to be observant of the creatures while he could, to anyone’s guess. “I wonder how other species would appear as in my world, though most likely ‘anthro’ in nature..”

Imagine an army of pigs that walk on two legs wielding cleavers and muskets. Then you get a huge ass Bore with metal arms wielding axes in each hand. That should give you a pretty good idea what I had to deal with. This thing was close to 12 feet tall and tried to kill me and my friend Jack… Well he did kill Jack just not the real one.” Asphyxious tried to explain.

I just nod at his explanation and look up at my bus sized hog. “Mines bigger.” I say with a smile. I briefly consider building a mana battery into the armor and giving him cannons but dismiss it. First time he charges through a building he would damage if not all out break them.

But the one I’m worried about is Dr, Arkadius there's no way that guy should be alive. I bet he's one of those monsters that live in Jack's world. I met a Gaige one of those things and they're not human.” He said sounding like he had a lot on his mind.

Doom by this point reached what was the Hatchery’s doors, motioning for spidermare to come down, only for her in a showy action of using her spider silk onto the ceiling propelling down as someone would from a helicopter. For her to land softly on her legs giving a couple turns of her head, in a securing fashion before nodding at him. “Should I wait for you both inside the room or would you care to ‘compare’ sizes more from ego?” He called out over to us, as spidermare just looked stone faced from that.

If I was comparing ego’s I’d be talking about who I slept with.” Asphyxious said with a light chuckle.

I smile as I walk over to the hatchery. He may have one changeling queen but I had an entire squad of changeling’s always looking for more love. The things they could do when they all work together. Besides my scientific curiosity got the better of me and I want to see her feed. Asphyxious followed after me as he looked at the hatchery and the hundreds of chickens running about.

So… many…” Asphyxious said as he looked at them all.

I grin at that. “You’re welcome to take as many as you like back home when you leave the room will just replace them. I can even send them all over to your place when this is done and they will be replaced in minutes.” I tell him.

Doom just looked back at us, while spidermare had undone her face guard while it hung to her neck. Openly drooling as her pony like muzzle with her jaw mandibles opened in a splitting fashion, breathing out a smell of flesh. “May I hunt, now…?” She almost quietly breathed out in asking Doom who took a few side steps away from her, who was visibly vibrating with excitement or bloodlust.

Asphyxious body went up in blue flames and turned into his human form wait when did he get an eyepatch? “Can I join in on this I am kind of hungry…” He said licking his lips.

I raise an eyebrow but give him a nod. “Just don’t do it near her for your own safety.” I tell him as I see the look in her eyes.

“If she take a bite out of me I’ll bite back.” He said before slowly and calmly walking into the hatchery.

Without needing to say a word Doom just pointed at her than at the chickens, She vanished with a shimmer of light before a ‘twip’ of spider silk was heard until a strain of it appeared before a chicken from the crowd suddenly launched up into the air. A quick snap of it’s neck was heard before what looked like it’s head was bitten down resulting in a gush of blood onto what looked like spidermare’s hungering face, devouring the tiny morsel as she began a quick if bloody feast even jumping at those that got alerted to her sloppy if raw style.

Asphyxious on the other hand somehow got a chicken of his own and was in the works of skinning it then cooking it with his magic after he snapped it neck. Once he was done cooking it he started eating it right there in the middle of the hatchery. “Hey guys want some?” He called out to us as his eating as his tail moves from side to side.

I just take one in my magic before snapping its neck and magically pulling out all of it’s feathers then tossing it into my mouth. As I crunch down some blood gushes out of my mouth and the sounds of bones crunching could be heard before I swallow the entire chicken. “I’m a magic fox so my body can take it raw, bones and all. Also I like it better that way.” I answer Ax.

Doom stands there watching spidermare, stroking his masked chin in thought before idly responding to the question of food. “I believe waiting for the main course at this party would be far more fruitful than gorging myself now, though what should I expect from this ‘Nightmare Night’?” He looked over at me in question, while having to back up when a flying chicken was webbed up to spidermare’s grasp seeming to forego stealth in her bloodlust. With what looked like five other silk bags attached to her sides giving off panicked clucking.

“Pinkie Pie trying to be your friend.” Asphyxious said with a smile wagging his tail.

“Its a pony Halloween so mostly sweets and other junk foods.” I answer.

He looked at me for a moment before nodding, looking back at spidermare he called out in a commanding tone. “Are you finished with your raw feast?” Her head whipped towards our direction in response before her once lustful predator eyes dilated before giving a smile with a nod, before looking at her now six small silk webbed sacks of live chickens. making her way towards us by way of the ceiling, before saluting Doom in a bowing fashion. “I Believe she’ll need to clean off her face and take some kind of mint to disguise her breath from just eating. Would you happen to have either?”

“My dungeons do have hot and cold running water. There are a boy’s and girl’s bathroom in the hanger to your left when you go through the door you entered this area from. And we do have a pantry to hold the food for non carnivores. I don’t know about plain mints but I think we have mint cookies if a few of those will do. Otherwise it would have to wait till we get to the party.” I say as I see one of my minions walk through the hanger. “Hey go get some mint cookies for my guest!” I call out to the possessed ventriloquist dummy with the obviously fake slicked back, black hair in a suit and had a slimy green G painted as his cutie mark as I gesture to spider mare. He gave a sharp salute before running off.

Doom looked at me fully now as he stated. “She’s a carnivore, ‘meat’ only type so unless you have something stuffed or became ‘minty’ she won’t eat it.” spidermare came down to the floor again with wiggling spidersilk spun sacks hung over the front of her spider abdomen with two over one of her shoulders as she made a licking motion of her mandibles. “Also she’s made a point of saying this is ‘fourth’ on her list of eating..”

“Well I don’t have a make it minty spell. I never thought it would be needed. Would she object to an illusion spell that would make it look and taste like meat to her?” I ask as I glanced at her.

Spidermare responded by making a ‘ick’ face, moving her spindly gloved fingers to reattach her face guard. Her spider half swaying a bit as if one who had a tail would wag happily, with a pat onto the silk chicken sacks. Doom simply just dragged his hand over his masked face. “She’ll just keep her combat mask filter on, and take it off to eat one of her ‘for later’ meals…” He regarded her bowing salute again, before looking to me in gesture to her. “It is rather strange to be referred to as a god, for something I have yet to do. Though the Infinity Stones won’t find themselves.”

“Infinity stones? Those things are in your world? Man you have one hell of a time ahead of you.” I say as the dummy runs back. “Well I guess those will be freshening my breath since she doesn't want them.” I say as I grab the cookies and tossed a few into my mouth before offering Doom and Ax some. Ax takes a few while Doom carefully grasped some, taking a look over it before opening his mask placing one in his mouth before closing it again with a seal.

“Quite likely, though I have a few hunches to some already. It is just a matter of timing and planning..” Doom gave a nod while spidermare gained a narrow edge to her gaze, before simply relaxing after he finished eating. With a point towards the door in a gesture to open the door for me and AX.

“Hey gorgeous. Care to spend the night with some real wood?” The dummy asked spidermare.

“Bad idea. Trust me she really won’t like you.” I warn him.

“Well you can’t blame a guy for being a stiff! Get it?” He said as he laughed at his joke. I just rolled my eyes and gestured to the dummy.

“This is a ghost working for me named Show Stopper. In life he was a puppeteer and ventriloquist and now specialises in haunting by possessing puppets and dummies. I made him a few bodies to inhabit as payment for his services so he might not always look the same when you see him.” I explain as I gesture to Show

Doom gave a slow nod at that, while spidermare looked at Show Stopper with held disdain in her eyes, growling at him. A gloved spindly finger reached up to a button on her neck before speaking in a synthetic radio tone that buzzed. “I would prefer proudly giving my life to the Storm God before fornicating with undead or spirits…” Before releasing the button, with Doom’s eyes rolled once, moving towards the the young hydra to look at them with another cursory gaze before asking a question.

“When would anyone be expecting you and possible guests? For oddities abound for how we’ll be received if not a panicked mess.” Turning towards me, likely wondering where we’ll be going or how.

“Its Nightmare Night so they expect to be scared. Besides I came prepared.” I say as I summon a box and open it to reveal gold rings. “Enchanted to make the wearer look more approachable. It won’t disguise any of you just make you less scary to those that look at you unless you do something to warrant the fear. They’re also temporary and made from conjured gold. So they will disappear after about five hours of use so take a spare.” I say as I gesture to the rings.

Doom looked immediately at Spidermare, gesturing to how she might need them more. “My Honor Guard will likely need that but I will hold onto one if desired, who would you know to be in attendance of this festivity?” Offering an outstretched hand to me, as Spidermare gave a neutral glance at my direction.

“It’s not anything fancy, just a town party. Music, dancing, games and the like. Luna will be there but other than her and us it will just be normal town ponies… Well norrmalish.” I say as I paw them their rings. “And I’ll just make a portal to get there so no real hurry.”

“Hey I want to come to, just let me jump into Cutup.” Show said as he turned to leave but I grab him before he could leave.

“Hold on, don’t you think that body is overkill? Even my rings will be hard pressed to keep that thing from causing a panic. You can go as Slappy. Besides I think Pinkie would be offended by that horror.” I tell him in annoyance causing him to groan at not getting to go out in that body.

Doom simply tilted his head at the conversation we were having, as Spidermare just gave a look that had ‘neutral guard’ expression. “I think you would enjoy time with your niece, perhaps someone could play ‘guide’ while we enjoy the party before you and her join us.” He offered the idea, looking towards AX and his Gilda.

I just look down at Show with a grin. “Can I do it as Cutup?” He asked.

“No.” I tell him in annoyance.

“Oh come on that thing is perfect for tonight!” He complained.

“And it's nightmare fuel that will traumatize everypony. That thing even scared Vinyl and she doesn't scare easy” I say.

“You guys don’t think it's too scary do you?” He asked as he pulled a poltergeist and pulled in the pupped from his room down the hall. It looked like a ponified version of one of those clowns from 'Killer Clowns from Outer Space' only twelve feet tall with razor sharp knives for teeth and hanging from its side were fake cotton candy roles shaped to look like ponies with a look of despair were inside and died trying to force their way out. It also had a pair of giant kitchen knives on its back like swords. Its beady yellow eyes looked menacingly down at them from its wrinkled and distorted face. From its mouth a long rubber tongue hangs out. Its clown costume covered in fake dried blood stains.

Doom looked him over, expressionless before he pointed at the mouth. “You need more fake blood to sell the image of ‘having recently ate the living’, my second uncle would use a butcher’s gown with a heavy cleaver to dice up his victims. Learned of his personal ‘tastes’ when he ate my tutor for my aunt.” He also poked at the blades even asking which would be the ‘primary’ that he’d use to scare with, as a ticket to add more blood on that one and save the others to be ‘tainted’ later into the night as it got. “Depending on the flare, add a meat bag with something small as ‘bite sized’ being the excuse.”

Asphyxious quickly changed into his Lich form and had both hands changed with magic fire. “KILL IT WITH FIRE!” He yelled however Gilda and Moondancer were trying to hold the lich back from attacking the clown. “What is wrong with you!?” Gilda yelled at him.

“See you scared Ax. Now get back in Slappy.” I tell him as I point to the dummy. I then turn to Ax with a grin. “Also that body has a fire proof enchantment on it for that reason and is made of stronger materials. Cutup is a body built for fighting so inside the body are storage areas for gimmicky weapons. I made it look like that as a scare tactic.” I tell them.

Your evil.” Asphyxious said once he calms down.

“Hey at least I didn’t give it the same enchantment that's on the fear traps.” I say with a shrug as I use my hand of evil to send Cutup back to Show Stopper’s room. Asphyxious then put one of the gold rings on his metal finger and looks at it.

Hope this tones down my Terror ability.” He said still looking at the ring.

“I used the fear traps when creating those rings. The fear traps are the same thing as what you call your terror ability only stronger so it should have no problems blocking it. But it might deplete yours a little faster so take more.” I tell him. As an Imp walks up with another box of rings.

Smart thinking.” He said taking the box off the imp. “Seeing as I can’t turn it off this will be a big help… now if only I can figure out why it don’t affect anyone in the den?

I just shrug. “I know the fear traps don’t affect my minions because the heart allows it to discriminate between friend and foe like all my other traps. I don’t know about yours. Maybe it’s designed to discriminate depending on who you see as allies?” I guessed.

Maybe, most of my spells are meant to buff my allies stats. Like attack power or spells that lower an enemy defense.” Asphyxious said calmly tapping his bone chin.

“Same with me. I don’t have any spells that boost attack but I have one that boosts defense, makes my minions invisible and one that gives them super speed. Debuffing less so. I do have this one spell from the first game I never used for obvious reasons, that inflicts one enemy with a highly contagious and deadly disease that can spread faster than the black death.” I reply.

I think I have a spell that could help you, it called Breath Of Corruption. It's an AOE spell so go for large numbers when using it not only that it does one point of damage to them. As long as they stay in the AOE and you keep feeding the spell magic it can stay as long as you like.

“I know. It was in the book you sent me.” I tell him.

What book? I haven’t even started on that yet.” Asphyxious said sounding confused.

“Time in the multiverse is a bit wonky. You will finish the book and send it and I already got it. I’m working on a prototype warjack that will run on mana batteries like my war ships and I even already created a Bloat thrall.”

So… we could meet someone or ourselves from the future? My head hurts.” Asphyxious said rubbing his skull. “And mana batteries? sounds interesting could you send me some notes?

“When I finish I’ll send you some schematics. But mine will recharge themselves by being in contact with my claimed land through the mana running through it. You will need unicorns to recharge any you build.” I tell him. “Also the mana batteries are made from very large gems. Can you grow gems that are at a minimum the size of a bowling ball?”

Doom looked in our direction when the topic of time travel came up. “I apparently got a data dump from ‘my’ future self, when a LMD ‘me’ and my Oath Sworn came to me, in essence it’s my roadmap of what needs to be accomplished to even ‘have’ that information… Though the Time Stone would break the normal laws of time, such as what happened to Rin, but ‘I’ from the future is being careful by interacting with me through mediums set up or preprogrammed..”

This is making my head hurt…” Said the Lich as he rubs the sides of his skull.

“... Would you like to hear a riddle to take your mind off it?” I ask with a big smile.

Let just pick up the girls and go to this party I think I know a good song to sing once we get there. If you don’t mind joining in Rin?” Asphyxious asked as his soul cages glowed.

“I’ll just take the lack of an answer on the large gems question as a yes. Alright lets go.” I say as I walk back to the room I left Sweetie in with Show at my side. The Changeling Pupa had changed into a copy of Sweetie Bell fore legs and all and the room was now also full of little fillies in overwhelmingly cute costumes. I see that they're my minions so my changelings must want to go Nightmare Nighting to get love for their cuteness. My personal bodyguards, the first black knights I got were also present but in place of the black armor the sisters were wearing the bone metal armor made from parts of the undead dragon painted black. The skeletal design made them perfect for functional costumes. They still had steel swords on their backs. Cluck Norris was leaning against the wall.

Doom looked over my black knights, going so far as to get a couple pony lengths close to them taking in the details of their armor while spidermare just looked at them with a different type of likely appraising. “Glad to see you put those bones to use since the last time I had come, though these two do fit them well for it.” He stood up to his full height again while spidermare simply nodded once with a calm expression.

“Bone metal can only be made through advanced necromancy. Harder than diamond and light weight and it has the magic resistance of a dragon. Of course its only that tough because its made from dragon bones. And I wasn’t going to let my black knights go into battle without the best protection I could give them.” I say with a smile.

They're so cute.” Asphyxious said. I could tell he just wanted to go up to all of them and hug them. He even went up to Pupa and started hugging her, how did he tell her apart? Oh right she was still dressed as a pirate... And now their all dog piling him. Asphyxious was even laughing when this happened. He must really love cute.

“Well lets get moving.” I say as I create a portal to ponyville and jump in. On the other side Pinkie was waiting. Almost like she knew exactly where we would pop out. When the visitors arrived she was in their faces faster than any of them could react talking at a million miles per hour. Oh great it’s Pinkie on a sugar rush. Cluck was looking up at her chicken costume with an unamused expression.

Pinkie it is lovely to meet you but I think you need to slow down so we can understand what you're saying.” Asphyxious asked petting the pink mare on the head.

Despite Ax’s attempts to get Pinkie to calm down her excitement and sugar high kept her going but she was able to get her point across as with a speed that even the haste spell couldn’t replicate all of the off worlders found they had a cake in their hands with ‘Welcome to Ponyville and happy nightmare night!’ written on them.

Cool.” Asphyxious said as he drops the cake into his mouth, I have no idea what happened to the cake after that.

Doom simply activated his shield pointing at his rather unamused spidermare guard, at Pinkie’s antics taking on a predatory look to her eyes added with her choice of costume. “I would ‘request’ your distance to be that of at least my personal shield, as no one loves being surprised especially without a personal guard..” His eyes were giving either a deadpan or neutral tone but his voice was held in contempt towards her antics.

The moment Doom said that no one likes surprises Pinkie just stopped moving… In midair. She was just floating in that one spot like time had stopped with a look on her face like she had just been told an entire basket of puppies had just been drowned. Her mane and tail then deflated and she slowly lowered back to the ground before bursting out into tears causing everypony to suddenly focus on us.

What have you done Doom…” Asked Asphyxious with fear in his eyes. He then went over and try to calm the crying mare with Pupa and Sweetie Bell trying to help to.

I sigh and I use my tails to push all of my changelings towards her. “Look Pinkie it’s just the way he is but I assure you he is here for the party so he’s not some snooty stick in the mud and will enjoy your work. Why don’t you take the kids Nightmare Nighting. Being around happy kids and getting free candy should cheer you up.” I say to her which combined with Ax’s efforts did cheer her up.

“Come on everypony! FREE CANDY!” Pinkie shouts excitedly as she runs off with the little ones.

“Wait I don’t want to go Nightmare Nighting!” Called a panicked Show Stopper as he was dragged along against his will.

Asphyxious then looked to Doom and I before saying this. “You know this makes me want to sing a song.” He then started to sing the nightmare before christmas song this is halloween. The magic of Equestria kicked in causing the music to play in from nowhere and several ponies join in, somehow knowing the lyrics. From the fact that none of them are batting an eye at him the ring must be blocking his Terror ability.

Doom’s response was a flat unamused look towards Asphyxious without saying anything, only to look towards me and the town of ponyville. “This place is a bit different then the hamlet I circle AROUND when traveling, lower in height yes, but different.” He nodded towards the distant apple farm pointing out a lack of sprinklers or some older looking machines, he had guessed for loading up apples and produce or moving transplanted trees.

Luna hadn't arrived yet so I walk over to the party. There were Nightmare Night themed games off to one side and a giant buffet off to another. There was an area devoted only to dancing as Vinyl and Octavia had a stage set up to play music.

“Huh this don’t look so bad.” Said Gilda as she was walking next to Rin. She then waved her talion as she said this. “Don’t worry about Asphyxious Moon Dancer will keep an eye on him.”

I was about to respond when I notice a shadow slowly moving across the ground. I look at a window in a store and see in the reflection that it’s Rainbow Dash trying to sneak up on us with her thunder cloud. I use my magic to split the cloud in half. Because she wasn’t expecting it she fell and landed on a pumpkin which was sticking to her hind quarters like padding when she stood up. Slimy pumpkin guts dripping from her rear.

Doom had traveled over to the dance area taking a seat at one of the small clusters as spidermare simply laid down on her spider belly looking around, as he had his focus on the cello player with a likely raised eyebrow perhaps trying to figure out if she could play. Tapping his chin looking at the odd display, of the earth pony and her reared up plucking the strings fine tuning her instrument before taking up her bow and started playing a beautiful, haunting melody.

Gilda sigh and walks over to help Rainbow Dash get cleaned up. Which was a shock for RD seeing Gilda was here and her body went through a drastic change since the last time she had seen her. The two looked like they were going to start talking then Gilda whispered something into Rainbow Dash ear that makes her blush and yell. “I’M DATING PINKIE PIE!?!” After that Gilda laughs and flies off with an angry Dash after her. I look over and am tickled to see that Dash’s outburst was taken as a confession and the rumor mill starts working overtime as I see it spread from pony to pony.

Now where was Asphyxious? I could still hear the music in the background but it sounded like it changed to a different song. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of thunder and I look up to see a dark chariot being drawn by Luna’s bat pony guards. It circles the town a few times before coming in for a landing.

Asphyxious teleported back right behind Luna and all the ponies looked on in fear until he said this. “SENPAI!” He then started hugging her and nuzzling his skull like head under her chin.

“...Aunty doth this be one of yours?” Luna asked me as she tried to lean her head away before using her alicorn strength to push him off. “Senpai! Notice me!” He said as he was on his back on the floor waving his arms in the air in a silly fashion.

“No he's a friend. He's just really excited.” I tell her.

“We notice thee. Everypony in town notices thee with thy loud and strange words. Not to mention the smoke coming from thy backside.” Luna said to him in a deadpan.

Hey it not my fault I was stuck like this. Woona~” Asphyxious said with a giggle.

Luna looks down at him strangely before a look of comprehension comes to her. “Ah we see. Aunty thou have taken up the art of babysitting once more. We thought he was an adult at first.” She said to me before leaning down to Ax with a friendly smile. “Would thou like a lollypop little one?” She asked as she presented the piece of candy to him.

Wow I like you, oh the pain I feel that you have no funny bones. Little Sister, oh all that time we spent together I will never forgot the naughty things we did~” Asphyxious laughs as he then boops her on the nose and runs away from Luna.

Luna blinked as she watched him run off but then snickered into her hooves. “We love children. Always funny without trying. It almost sounded like he was being suggestive of inappropriate activities.”

Doom from his seated position now had what looked to be tea, for himself and spidermare was tilting her head back drinking from a squiggly straw. “He’s mentally deficient for an adult, perhaps a padded room may suit him better away from children.” Doom seemed to have eluded before placing his cup down retracting his pinkie finger, though from looking at his companion guard, she simply put on her face guard again with the offered thermus towards him.

And who do we have to thank for that.” Asphyxious hissed from behind Dooms shoulder and then slowly backs away.

“You know how Celly can be at times with darkness. The one in his world went and trapped him in crystal.” I tell her.

“But thou were trapped in stone for a thousand years and thou seem fine.” She said to me in confusion. “And thou were even conscious and aware,”

A mortal mind left alone in the deep and dark ends, the mind eats itself to no end, pain and sorrow, despair and fear. Wishing for death without a care.” Asphyxious said to himself.

I walk over and pat him on the back in a comforting manner. “Yes Lulu but I was up on the surface and had regular visits.” I say to her.

I’m… sorry I get like that sometimes. Normally Pupas around to snap me out of it.” Asphyxious said rubbing his head.

Luna looks around uncomfortably before walking over and Giving Ax a hug to help him feel better. Asphyxious just chuckles and pets Luna on the head. “Like I said to my Luna back home it not your fault. And thank you.

Doom raised his cup again having refilled it with what spidermare brought along, though he’s been shifting his focus back to the stage to listen to the music and likely what I am up to. “It is good to see you again, Rin’s younger niece Luna.” He regarded in a calm tone as the spidermare observed her with all six of her eyes quietly, her appearance to a leader or guard would show a rather strangely over prepared oddity of a mare. “Meet also my ‘Oath Sworn’, whom will do battle for me even on her death throes…”

Luna looked them over. “Greeting doctor of doom. Forgive us for not shaking thy hand in such a public place after last time. And greetings arachnipony! It has been some time since we have last met one of you. It duth be nice to see such a noble warrior. It would seem that in our absence our own guards have gotten quite lax.”

Oh My god, what if I have spider ponies back home? This is so cool!” Asphyxious yelled after hearing Luna say that.

I myself am confused by this. If these spider ponies exist in this world why haven’t I attracted any? In the game the maidens of the nest were attracted by having large treasuries full of riches and that's never been an issue. Then again maidens are supposed to be high priestess of a dark goddess if the fanfictions I’ve read held any weight but she seems to be a warrior and not sexist. I guess I’ll need to look them up to see what attracts them.

I forgot to ask this before Doom but are you and the spider lady, more than friends?” Asphyxious asked in a curious tone. “I mean she is hot not only that but those legs.

Doom nodded in understanding to Luna as he merely waved at her, while spidermare merely nodded in respect to her before returning to her vigil. “I would say we are not friends as it were, though she is a devoute towards ‘me’ to come.. Also the culture is rather ‘odd’, to say the least but it’s at least new to me in a sort of understanding.” Said spidermare quietly shuffled on the ground having half hidden herself in the dirt, with a almost faraway look in her eyes at the question before looking at Doom. “Also lich, you just elluded to her and me her… God… being friends or more of a ‘lover’ status that isn’t true, also it would distract her from likely being her best at completing her Oath..”

You didn’t say no~” Asphyxious said in a sing song tone.

He looked flatly at him, giving his full attention before uttering the words. “No, Are you happy now or would it be better if I treated you as a child too?” He turned halfway away from him, though he tilted his head looking at a ‘Starswirl the Bearded’ Twilight and Spike the first furiously scribbling on parchment the later holding a small pile with his dragon costume. “Is that unicorn wearing a Starswirl the Bearded costume?”

At those words her Twilight’s head shot up with twinkles in her eyes as she came over. “YES! Finally somepony gets it!” She exclaimed before calming down and looking between them. “Just need to make sure of something. Besides lady Rin are any of you related to the princesses?” She asked as a few hairs sprang up in her mane.

Well maybe… Let's just say I meet their mother and she called me her… brother…” Asphyxious said awkwardly as he rubs the back of his skull.

Twilight’s eyes twitched at this and I can practically see the gears turning in her head. “Was that a yes or a no?” She asked in confusion.

I don’t know! I’m not sure if it's that damn dragon controlling her to mess with me. Or if it has to do with that peace of athanc that is now a part of my body, I’ve been calling them heart stones.” Asphyxious saw the look in Twilight eyes and backed up a bit.

“...Dragon...controlling… heart stones?...” Twilight said as she went crosseyed and her mane started shooting up like popping popcorn.

“He doth not be of our family.” Luna told twilight which caused her to get a wide, hungry grin on her face that made Cutup look friendly. Then with a flash of her horn the ground shook with a loud thump when she summoned several stacks of papers that are literally as big as half a house.

“I have soooooooo many questions.” She said in a creepy voice as she grabbed him in her magic and started pulling him towards her. However Asphyxious moved a little closer then changed back to his human form and kissed her on the nose. “I’m all yours~”

The shock of this made Twilight let go of him, Asphyxious then picks her up and grins. “Want to do this back at your tree house. I can show you more there~” He purred into Twilight ear making her blush. Her eyes twitch harder but then her need for knowledge kicked in and she grabbed him again and walked over to her papers.

“Spike I’ll be in my lab studying this kind...volunteer. You have fun at the party. Tomorrow I’ll need you to wash my tools that I’ll have set aside. Nothing too difficult just some knives, a saw, my drill and blow torch.”

“Kinky~” Said Asphyxious with a grin. “Look after Pupa and Gilda for me Rin!” He calls out. Asphyxious then moves to Twilight's ear. “As long as I get to do to you what you’re going to do to me~”

Twilight blinks a few times before glaring. “No! I’m alive and you're a golem I’ll just put you back together, but I would die. Now lets go.” She said as she lifts the papers and starts walking.

“What makes you think I won’t either?” He asked as he walks with her. “Besides the body I have now is flesh and blood.” To make a point he reaches out and rubs behind one of her ears.

She quivered for a moment before shaking her head like a dog would and backing away. “Yes its a very convincing illusion but it's not scientifically possible for you to be a golem that can turn into flesh and blood. Watch I’ll prove it. If you were flesh and blood this would make you bleed.” She said as she summons a bone saw and activates it with her magic before moving it towards him.

“If this really is an illusion how far are you willing to go to find out if its real or not with out killing me?” Asphyxious then looks into her eyes and said this. “I know one way to show you~”

Twilight stopped just before the spinning blade could cut into his stomach. “...You’re right. I’ll cut the legs since I saw that you don’t have any.” She said with a crazy smile. That's when he kissed her on the lips. Unfortunately for him Twilight was prepared this time and with a swift motion cut off a piece of his leg. A good portion of mussel missing from his left leg.

“FUCK!” Asphyxious roared and jumped away from her, as he stands there he was bleeding everywhere not only that he was laughing. “It didn’t hurt.... this sucks...” He sighed.

Twilight!” Luna screamed in shock as twilight was just staring at the hunk of flesh in her magical grasp whispering to herself about this being impossible over and over again. I then take the saw away from her.

Moon Dancer then appears next to Asphyxious and start casting spell to heal his wounds. The flesh in twilight magic start to turn to ash. The undead pony then turns to Twilight with a blue glow in her eyes. “You hurt Asphyxious, the one who saved me from Lord Toruk.” She reaches out and looked like she was about to cast a spell but Asphyxious stop her.

“It alright Moon. It… didn’t hurt, I just thought it did…” He said as he stands up. “Sigh why is it only other displaced can hurt me, make me feel pain.” He looks calmly at everyone.

“Its not possible. It makes no sense…” Twilight said before her grin returned and her eyes went in different directions. “Of corse. What an amazing, complex illusion. But the fact that the flesh disappeared and the wound is now healed without scarring is proof that it wasn’t real.”

“Oh please stop talking like me when I lost my mind. You can not understand everything, I don’t even understand how I ended up like this. All I do know is it involved changeling magic, the elements and one of Everblights stones to get this body. I don’t even know if Everblight can control me or not…”

“I refuse to believe in anything I can’t explain. So in order for me to believe it I need to know how you work.” Twilight said as she shook off some of her crazy and got that teacher giving a lecture face.

“And that's your weakness, look at Pinkie Pie she does things no one can understand. You can use magic, Fluttershy can talk to animals, the list goes on Luna can move the bloody moon and you're saying I’m impossible?” Asphyxious said as he crosses his arms.

“All of that can be explained. The princesses have enough energy to move those objects, Animals do have their own language that a pony that devotes enough time to can learn as proven by the work of Dr. Nosy Poker and Pinkie’s special talent is making ponies smile. So of course she learned some sleight of hoof. She’s always doing it so she just mastered an art of entertainment. If studied it will just be proven to be smoke and mirrors.” Twilight countered. She thinks Pinkie is doing parlor tricks? Well at least that explains why she didn’t even try till she witnessed the Pinkie sense.

“And what's to say a dragon can’t match that power?” He asked. “In my world there is a dragon with the power to destroy everything on that planet. But it is trapped in the void and I am going to make sure it stays there.” He walked up to her and got down to eye level.

“Twilight, there are something's we can not hope to understand no matter how hard we try. Think about what you just did, what would happen if one of your friends got in the way of you cutting me. What do you think would happen?”

Twilight got a shocked look on her face before looking around for the first time and seeing the looks that everypony around her was giving her. Her eyes started watering at this. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go that far.” She then starts to ball her eyes out with tears as she turned and ran for home.

Asphyxious sigh and looks to Rin. “I think I should go and talk with her , let her know everything will be okay.” He said. He then makes his way to Twilight house.

“Just don’t teach her anything like necromancy or Celestia in this world will lock you away again.” I call to him.

“Don’t know any.” He calls back.

“I said like. That means your necrotech. And the soul cage and ghost are necromancy!” I reply.

“Yes MUM I get it!” He yells back as he got to the door to Twilight house and goes inside.

Luna then turns to her guards. “Watch them and make sure Twilight doesn't have another… episode. We will have to talk to our sister about what just happened.” Luna said with a serious look on her face.

Doom gave a cough from his current seat as the spiderpony that was with him had vanished, he held a cup still in one hand and had a closed thermos on the outdoor table he sat at. “Why is the lich whom is the catalyst cause for the situation going to the mare who may react worse in her current state of ‘being’? Also wise choice you had made Princess, though she may need some minor counseling if my opinion was taken into mind about rash actions..” He placed his cup down onto the table, nodding to a bewildered server pony.

Minor counseling?! She loped off a piece of his leg!” Luna shouted in her royal Canterlot voice.

“I’m so sorry about this princess. She’s normally not like this but she got real antsy about wanting to study Rin and being afraid to do it because she’s yours and Princess Celestia’s aunt.” Spike said. Trying to calm the situation but failing miserably as I found myself flying through the air and then the next thing I know I’m having the life squeezed out of me in the super strong forelegs of Luna as she hugged me tightly.

NEIGH! She shall not!" Ouch right next to my ear! I of course would voice my displeasure to her blasting my eardrums but I had a more pressing problem which happened to be the reason I couldn’t complain about anything...I couldn’t breath!

“Miss Luna is Rin meant to turn blue like that?” Asked Moon Dancer as she walks up to Luna with a worried look on her face.

What doth thou speak of? Our aunt’s furr is clearly white, see.” Luna said as she looked down at me... “AUNTY!" She shouts as she loosens her grip on me but still refuses to let go. I gasp as my lungs finally have the room for the air which I was greedily taking in. Slowly the dizziness faded. “Aunty are thou alright!?"

“I would be much better if you would stop using the royal Canterlot voice mere inches from my ear.” I complained as I tried to wiggle out of her grasp but that only resulted in her tightening it again. Thankfully not so tight I couldn't breath this time.

Right at that moment Doom had taken that time to offer each of us a figurative hand up, though Luna still hugging me relentlessly. “Perhaps we could try moving onto happier subjects, or even tour ponyville’s events? Unless the other five haven’t heard by now and are either on their way or seeing what the issue is from your niece using ‘the voice’.” Stated while spidermare had somehow got up right behind him again without so much as a noise, in which he didn’t look surprised or phased by her until he clarified. “You could say I have ears in every direction.”

Asphyxious come back out of the house with what looks like ink drawings all over his face. Not only that Twilight also came out with Ink drawings over her face to. “We’re good now!” Asphyxious calls out waving his hand.

Luna looked at them funny and gave a stranger look at the two guards she sent to keep an eye on them returning with what appeared to be cake icing all over them. She just shook her head at this before looking back to Doom. “Thou are right good doctor. We can look around and I can work on turning this holiday into something grand instead of a night of fear.” Luna said with determination.

“Lulu, Nightmare Night is a great night. Just look around, have some fun! Trust me you don’t need to change a thing.” I tell her with a smile which might have been a little less effective as I was still trying to wiggle out of this uncomfortable position.

Doom offered up a suggestion as well with a knowing smile. “Perhaps if the tastes to this party event doesn't suit you, you could arrange one to happen at the castle gardens next year as a costumed event.. Or in effect a ‘masked ball’, if there is not one to be had.” Though it was at this moment that spidermare had dug into one of the six sacks to eat a chicken, in public where all the attention happened to be focused near me and Lulu.

Screams of horror filled the air at the sight of the chicken being devoured and the area devolved into a panic as ponies ran about, knocking things overs and locking themselves in their homes.

“Not again… It's like the time that Rockodile followed me to ponyville.” Said Asphyxious as he turns back to his Lich form then pulls his staff from his back. “Wait… PUPA!” Asphyxious yells in panic and flies off down the streets.

Doth thou see!? This is no marriement! Everypony is so on edge they panic at the slightest thing!” Luna complained.

“Actually Lulu that's just ponies at seeing something die.” I tell her.

“Ponies were not that cowardly last time we checked. Face it aunty our holiday is not but fear and screaming.”

Asphyxious teleported back to the group. “Never mind shes fine, she is with Sweetie Bell and Pinkie Pie.” He said calmly.

“See! He had to check on this Pupa’s safety! That doesn't happen on Hearth's warming or even thy own holliday!” Luna complained.

Luna, you’re talking to three beings that should not be in this world and one of them has been attacked by things that could give kids nightmares.” Said Asphyxious calmly. “Not only that I’m a father I’m supposed to worry about my daughter.

...I have a holiday? No that can come later. I need something to show her that nightmare night is fine...Or at least something to distract until I do. You’re dungeon is under attack! I really need to stop tempting fate...

DM? was that you?” Asphyxious asked looking around.

“No, that was the voice of the mentor from the dungeon keeper games. It alerts me when something is happening.” I say as I close my eyes and concentrate on my dungeon and am surprised to see that my warjack prototype is what's attacking. And panicked at seeing it’s tearing through my traps, skeletons, maze walls and doors Juggernaut style on a direct path for the skull!

“The warjack prototype is attacking and it's trying to get to the skull!” I shout in a panicked voice as I grew myself too big for Luna to hold.

That can’t be right, the warjack can’t act on it own without a warcaster to control it or there is something wrong with the cortex... ITS GOING AFTER WHAT?!” Asphyxious shouts. “Get us back there, NOW!

I waste no time and create a portal to the chamber holding the skull and jumped in just in time to see the thing smash through the door and launch my two miniature black knight which I just barely caught before they hit the lava. The sentry traps all aimed and opened fire on it and hundreds of undead birds flew down and crashed into it, exploding on impact The skeleton troops were also charging in but were quickly cut down.

Asphyxious came through next and fired a spell at the warjack. “Don’t let it get the skull of hate!” He yelled and cast another spell as a wall of ice came out of the floor to block the path.

Doom’s entry into the fray casting what felt like caffeine had been chugged into my veins, causing a improved reaction time with a palm blast striking the intended Warjack’s right leg motor with a ten second continuous beam hitting the shield at that place. “What is the material it is made out of and it’s power source?” Doom belted out at me as his other hand worked onto trying to hold the leg he was attacking in place to do some fusing metal damage.

Rin why does it have a shield?” Asphyxious asked as he pulled out what looked like a shotgun with green lights on it. Then start shooting the warjack as the sound of acid could be heard.

“I didn’t give it a shield and it’s battery hasn’t been finished yet. It shouldn’t be functioning at all! Let alone have enough power to get all this way by itself, undamaged no less! And it’s made of steel. That barrier is an advanced dark magic defense spell! Don’t waist time with energy attacks and conjured weapons would be unadvisable. It would eat the energy out of the spell to replenish itself!” I shout out to the others.

Asphyxious teleported out of the way of the warjack charge as it fist slams into the wall. “So any ideas what or who's controlling it?” He asked as he keeps shooting it with little effect.

“No! Whatever its power source is, it's stronger then the manna batteries for my war ships and those are made from diamonds bigger than a traveling wagon! And that is an advanced spell to defend it with!.” I shouted as I ran around the room to keep my distance.

Doom frowned in hearing that as he made that point clear in resources. “Didn’t you think of installing a kill switch if it ever went rogue on you? Or simply have it fall apart if it moved itself from the floor without your direction?” Spidermare latched onto the ceiling while he asked me a another question. “How good is this thing against nullification?”

Warjacks can be turned off by the warcaster, but seeing as Rin is not controlling it she will have to make a link with it and that's hard seeing as it's trying to kill us. Asphyxious calls out as he dives behind a pillar as the warjack headbutts it way through.

“And I did make a kill switch...in the battery! It uses its own energy to destroy itself and the thing it’s powering so it won’t fall into the wrong hands. But it's not using the battery! And that depends on how much of the energy you can nullify!” I reply as I mentally scroll through my list of minions to see what I can use. The knights I made bone armor for would be effective if not for the terrain. There is barely any land and it could knock them into the lava.

Doom’s eyes leveled at the room from his location, pointing at spidermare than at the warjack in the middle of this mess. His hands glowed green as two large clumps of lava were lifted into the air, moving slowly towards the machine in question as he belted out towards us. “Distract it for now while I prepare an accurate drop flow if possible!” With Spidermare throwing what must have been a Null grenade of sorts for how a hole ripped in it’s shield causing a distortion.

The warjack turned towards Doom. Aparently whoever was controlling it heard him shouting and seeing the lava jumped back and started feeding its own magic into the shield.

Well now someones a fast learner.” Said Asphyxious teleported in and out as he keeps shooting it. “Once we stop it I’m going to have to take it apart and see what makes it tick!

I move as far as I can from it and concentrate on my claimed land. I look and look but I can’t find anyone. This makes no sense this thing is fighting too intelligently. But then I had a thought. I focus on the warjack itself to see if I can detect a ghost possessing it. I don’t find a ghost per say but… “I don’t understand how but there is a soul in it. And it's not undead!” I shout out. It then stopped moving and started charging up a lot of magic. “Be careful its casting a powerful spell!”

Asphyxious teleported in front of us and casted a spell as a wall of ice came out of the ground. “Before you say it, yes I know there's lava in here.” He said with an annoyed tone.

Doom meanwhile kept his focus, while having looked rooted to the ground shaping the contained lava into a swaying piped flow closer to our target as spidermare tossed a couple more null grenades at the Warjack’s feet likely hoping to trip it up.

Unfortunately the intense heat of the room caused the rapidly melting wall of ice to slide across the hot ground and fall into the lava which caused steam to start filling the room.

Well… I need a new spell.” Said Asphyxious sadly as if knowing it wouldn’t work.

I shake my head and create two portals leading to windy mountains to vent the room before we could lose all visibility. I saw that it was now finishing the spell. It must be powerful because it's not even taking the time to repair its shield. It then lets loose...the shield spell? Oh no please tell me its not doing what I think it's doing. It cast the spell at the lava creating a large wall and is pushing it and therefore the lava like a wave at us!

Hold on!” Yelled Asphyxious as he grabbed me and Doom then teleported. “Don’t worry about the dizziness that happens.” He said as my head was spinning. “Doom you okay?

I hear as I groan from the sickness and dizziness. Why couldn’t he just let me jump through one of the vent portals. I think miserably to myself as I try to keep my food down.

Doom growled out before turning on Asphyxious. “You teleported me without permission, taken me WITHOUT my Bodyguard as well in a battle that could have been stopped!” The sound that followed was of an Arachnipony spider head poking out of the wall with a livid look in her eyes at the undead, holding a grenade in one spindly gloved hand in a threatening fashion. With Doom having a momentary baffled expression before returning it to the lich.

I thought we were all going to die! I did what I thought would wait… where did all this steam come from?” Asphyxious asked looking at the floor. I groan as I seriously consider throwing Ax into the lava.

We’ll worry about this later!” Asphyxious calls out. “Find a way to kill this thing.” Asphyxious then went off most likely to attack the warjack.

I was just getting the ability to see straight back and looked around and saw something disturbing. The lava wave had carried the skull with it bringing it onto the land. And Ax and that thing are getting closer to it! “Ax look where you're leading that thing!” I shouted as I grab the skull in my magic and try to pull it away.

What Rin?” Asphyxious was then sent flying by the warjack as it punched him. Once he hit the floor he shook his head as he looked like he had trouble getting back up.

“I would rather not use them until they were better trained but this is a desperate situation.” I say as I search my dungeon and pulled in the two oldest dragons I have and dropping them in here. The biggest of the two was a muscular, dark red dragon that was twice Ax’s height while the other was a lighter shade of red dragoness.

“Oh what a nice pool.” The dragoness said until the sound of battle drew their attention.

“Attack the bigger one!” I shouted as I pointed to the warjack. The siblings quickly moved in for the offensive and with their wings were able to catch up to it faster and started tearing at the shield with claws and teeth. Unfortunately not enough training means that wailing on it was the best fighting style they had but their natural resistance to magic is letting them shred its shield faster then it's repairing itself.

Doom and Spidermare stuck closest to me as he moved in a way that was communicating that resulted in her drawing out a couple grenades, even a crossbow that was webbed onto her forward leg took her time shooting it to avoid the dragon siblings which seemed much to her disappointment. “Tell me the outcomes starting with failure to stop this versus actually having success with conquering the enemy.” He had lifted up some rubble before throwing it at one of the Warjack’s arms to work on hampering its attack or dulling while lifting some lava to try and get it’s feet.

I then notice Asphyxious was reaching out to the warjack. I wasn’t sure what he was doing then it looked like he was in pain. He then yelled out to us. “The Skull is the battery get it out of here!

I blink in confusion but I toss the skull my way and work on creating a portal. Problem is the greater the distance the longer it takes and I wanted this thing far. The warjack lets out a cry of rage and forgoes the barrier and instead black, shadow like tindrel come from its body... With a magic I’ve seen before and grabbed and threw my dragons off of itself. “Those tendrils have the same taint I removed from your arm Doom!” I shouted out as I worked harder on the portal. I definitely wanted the skull far away from that thing.

CHARGE!” Luna’s voice cried out as she flew in through the broken door in her royal battle armor and wielding her trusted warhammer which she had affectionately named the Stewardess. She flew in fast and swung the Stewardess and struck home. With the blow the hammer’s knockback enchantment kicked in and launched it across the room and embedded it into the wall cartoon style for a short time before it pulled itself out with its shadow tendrils leaving a warjack shaped hole in the wall. “The Stewardess thanks thee for flying air smackdown! Please return thy face to the full upright position! So we can smack it again!” Luna mocked in the royal Canterlot voice. When it turns to face her we can see a decent sized dent in its chest. But it was the tendrils that caught Luna’s attention “It is thou! Vile demon, prepare thyself for this time we shall be the one wh-” She was interrupted in her speech when a large rock was thrown at her by the warjack which knocked her out of the air. The room fell silent for a moment before Luna stuck her head out of the rubble. “It... is...on! Luna shouted as she shot up and flew at the possessed warjack. She swung her hammer with expert precision but the nightmare in a killer robot’s clothing was prepared this time and was able to use it’s tendrils to defend against the enraged princess’s assault. My dragons were wisely standing back but staying ready to act.

Doom’s eyes had narrowed with sparks of electric energy discharged from their corners in a style of a visualized fury appeared etched onto his now white irises, speaking simply three simple words likely directed at Spidermare because she cringed on edge. “Give me grenades.” In which she dropped two likely for each hand only to be caught in a different kind of grip, one that wasn’t magical. When his gaze shifted upwards she gave him more until he held twelve, with a slight zap a spark snuck off connecting with Luna’s horn. She blinked in confusion for a moment but had the good sense to jump out of reach but quickly got her determined look back and nodded before jumping back into the fight. I felt that I got the portal to go far enough… well the dark side of the moon was the furthest I could go on my own while staying in the same dimension.

“Hold on tight there’s going to be a strong vacuum!” I warn Doom and Spidermare. Doom quickly stomps his feet into the ground one at a time before using his magic to seal the rock closed around his feet again while Spidermare webbed him down before digging herself underground and webbing the hole shut. Doom was holding on to his grenades tightly so not to lose any. While they did this I summon some gems and transmuted them into steel chains and anchored myself down to several places on the floor, walls, and ceiling before opening the portal. Powerful hurricane like wind rushing past as it was all sucked in through the portal and I was lifted but kept in place by my chains and I used my telekinesis to push the skull towards the opening and when it was sucked in I let go and the portal sealed shut.

I looked to Asphyxious and saw the warjack had him in it's hand! He lift his head up and I could see a look of sorrow in his eyes. “Sorry… It caught me as I was sliding on the floor to the portal…” Asphyxious said sadly.

Though the moment was disrupted when an almost whistle like sound started only to end in an impact on the opposite side of the Warjack, there was a smoke trail ending with Doom’s raised palm while another grenade swiveled in place with a static charge focused on his hand. The action had left Luna with an opportunity using the Stewardess with an elegant swing struck at where the grenade’s side had hit with a noticeably damaged weaker defense and another short trip into the wall.

Despite being in the warjack’s grasp and going along for the ride Asphyxious swing his staff right into it face. Adding to the damage the warjack received he even hooks his staff to it’s head and was trying to get closer. “Watch where you're shooting damnit! You almost hit me.” The Iron Lich called out.

Doom’s reaction was a calm tone of reprimanding. “I am technically ‘Throwing’ my Kinetic projectiles, though your ‘size’ does add a nice challenge to get my figurative ‘lump of flesh’ from my target.” Only to have launched another the moment said Warjack had freed itself from the wall at the pelvis the edge of said grenade affect skirting Asphyxious body causing a cringe to keep away from the effect.

Luna moved in with another swing but do to the proximity to the wall this one was an extra short flight. Deciding that Doom and his grenades where the biggest threat in the room the Nightmarejack...which happened to have been made using the designs for the warjack called nightmare, gave an enraged roar and charged Juggernaut style past Luna, just barely avoiding another all expense paid trip. With dark energy building up in one hand as the Warjack threw Ax like a missile at Doom before throwing the dark energy ball right behind Ax while maintaining its charge towards Doom.

His reaction was to turn into what could be described as ‘fog’ shifting out of the path, as it seemed spidermare was keeping him in the loop about what was behind Ax. Only to turn solid again responding by giving the charging Nightmarejack a grenade to the face.While using a second gernade to nullify the Dark Magic attack behind Asphyxious. This leaving only the iron lich to be caught by Spidermare’s webbing planting him to the floor with a whiplashing thud of someone having pulled on a rubber band only to fly back onto the floor.

I… hate you… so much right now.” Asphyxious growled as he tried to get up and out of the web. “When did the warjack start looking like the Helljack Nightmare?” He asked.

“...Um, since I made it. I used the design for it for my prototype. I figured since I have a limitless supply of metal through transmutation why not start big?” I replied.

...You do know it knows the spell Imprint Ghostly right?” The Lich lord asked with a hint of worry. “You just made this thing harder to kill with that. What I don’t get is why is it still here?

“...It smashed and blasted it’s way to this room. I don’t think the nightmare knows its spells. Otherwise why wouldn’t it just come in through all of that stuff?” I say. The Lich nodded at that point.

While we were talking Doom was maneuvering out of it’s melee reach with a flourish movement taking time to strike at it again with another grenade, leaving opportunity for Luna to smash the Nightmarejack’s next charge off course near us. “Speculation aside, action would be preferable!” Doom intoned loud enough when the Nightmarejack looked at us, maybe having heard what we were talking about. Facing off again seeming to have changed tactics. It then became transparent and sank into the ground.

Asphyxious jaw dropped at this then face palms. “Me and my big mouth…

Luna’s eye twitches before she turned to Ax. “If thou know the body can do something dangerous and thou need to bring it up...Whisper it! Thou were literally right next to our aunty!” Luna shouted angrily right before the Nightmarejack jumped out of the ground like Jaws and grabbed Dooms leg and tried to smash him against the ground.

I’m sorry but I’m not the one who built it!” Asphyxious yells back as he teleport over and attacked the Nightmarejack. It looked like he was trying to cut the tubes on the arms, legs and the ones going into it's body.

As black tendrils shot off of its body and whipped around wildly striking against Ax, Doom and spidermare I took advantage of the fact that we are in my territory and its shields were gone and used my ability to cast spells from any land I have claimed and blasted it with thunderbolt after thunderbolt through the floor. I could see that not only was it damaging it but all the electricity was traveling through its body up it’s legs and out of it’s arm that was still clutching onto Dooms leg like it’s life depended on it and into Doom himself. Just like in his comic. I thought with a grin as I just kept blasting.

On his end, he was working to free himself from the larger metal claws that had grabbed him before when it came out of the ground. Likely seeing the damage I was doing to it also for seeming to take a shudder at each bolt, entering him through his armor. “Your continued existence lays in the simple fact, that you got lucky in grabbing onto me.” He threatened only to fold all but two of his fingers with an arc welder reaction started intending to try and cut off the claws.


Right keep telling yourself that Doomy.” Asphyxious said adding his own bolts of lightning to the attacks. Wait, ice spells, fire spells and now lightning. That wasn’t in the book.

It roared in pain as it let go. It’s arm only half attached from Doom’s welding. The pain of this distracted it enough that for a moment its tendrils vanished and Luna took full advantage and came in and swung the Stewardess like a croquet mallet and launched in into the ceiling off to the right over the lava pit and just as it came free from the ceiling she was on it again and smashed down on it like it was a whack a mole and sent it hurtling down into the lava with a splash. I couldn’t help it and brought a notebook and quill from the library and gave it a 9.5 for the landing.

Ten points for Woona!” Asphyxious yelled out with both arms in the air like a football announcer. “Rin can we get a replay of that!

I use the illusion magic I learned in this world and created a bubble bigger than the Nightmarejack was and showed a slow motion replay of Luna’s epic play. Giving extra detail to both times the hammer struck and even used ghost sound to make it sound like a crowd giving painful Ooos at the blows and cheers at the landing.

That gotta hurt!” Said the Lich pointing at when Luna hit the Nightmarejack. “Rin what can you tell me about this just where did the Helljack go wrong in this fight?” It sounded like he was taking the role of announcer a bit too seriously.

I make a show of rewinding the bubble back to the proper moment. “Well for starters Ax, she thought it would be a good idea to grab onto Doom. This forced her to remain stationary and tangible. She also couldn’t create another barrier while doing this. The second mistake was being too stupid to realise her first mistake when she was being pummeled from all sides until she was in too much pain to defend herself, leaving her wide open for Luna’s finishing play.” I say in my own announcer voice.

Interesting analysis seeing as warjack can’t feel pain. I think the closest thing to pain for them is when someone messes with the cortex. Asphyxious say nodding at me.

“The body perhaps but not the nightmare inside. That thing could scream like a cat sleeping under a car’s hood when you start it up….wait a moment. I’m feeling a build up of dark magic.” I say seriously now as I look down at the lava. Soon it starts to bubble as the melted body of the Nightmarejack rose up and quivered before its head popped off like the quork on a wine bottle and a inky black wraith like pony rose up out of it and flew away from the abandoned warjack and at Doom to try to possess him instead only to bounce off his armor. It then started flying around him and feeding to grow stronger while staying in its natural ghostly form.

He naturally responded by attempting to blast at it with a couple bolts of lightning, snarling at it with a twitch in his eye. “I will ‘practice’ on you in order to learn your EVERY weakness, just to milk out your suffering you lowborn harlot.” He spoke with a restrained tone taking another charged bolt at the wraith pony.

What is that?” Asphyxious asked sounding more confused. “Is that what I felt in the warjack? it’s so small hell it's not even scary.

“Don’t let it’s appearance fool you. That is the nightmare. That which took over Luna and turned her into Nightmare Moon. It feeds on negativity and grows stronger because of it.” I tell him.

But it's so cute.” Asphyxious said as he watches it float around Doom. “I’m going to call you Nyx.” He said to the nightmare.

I can tell that we’re making it angry with our talking but it’s good at controlling itself as it just keeps feeding on Doom. “So was Chucky from Child’s Play. Keep in mind that thing is what was attacking us and trying to use the skull to bring fear and pain to all so that she could feed and grow stronger.”

But the Skull would of eaten her soul, we’re just lucky she didn’t get it. So in a way we saved it’s life.” Said Asphyxious in a happy tone.

The Nightmare used some of the energy it got by feeding on Doom to start shooting small dark energy balls all over the place which exploded when they hit something.

No! Bad Nyx! We do not use dark magic in the dungeon!” The Lich yells. Making the annoyed Nightmare focus more on him with its attacks. “Don’t make me give you a timeout missy!

“This is annoying. Its not physical but it can still cast spells.” I say before trying an experiment. I took a dragon’s tooth that I haven’t used for anything yet and threw it at her and am pleased to see she took the time to dodge it unlike with the other attacks.

Doom lifted one of the grenades he held in his possession, making it an obvious gesture of threatening to ignite it. “You CAN understand me, correct you harlot of a wisp?” Narrowing his eyes at the dark pony wraith, adjusting his stance focusing on it. It turns to him and nods slowly but keeps looking around at all of use to be ready for an attack.

He gazed at it with venom before continuing, slowly as he prepared to move if needed. “Now, if you can tell me.. Do you realize how much of a disadvantage you are in, at this time? For likely reference, most of those present in a confined room COULD do harm to something like YOU. Those dragons, the Alicorn, Rin, Myself. I am not certain about the Lich, but we could get back to that topic later.” He held a visible hate for what seems to be Nightmare Moon. It however just gave off a echoed, mocking laugh and started feeding harder on Doom’s hate for it. Obviously confident in the power it still had left from feeding on the skull and what she’s getting from him.

Doom stop feeding it!” Asphyxious yelled at him. “Your being a bad influence on little Nyx.

Without looking away he said this in a deadpan tone. “The undead who shows signs of mental trauma is giving ME advice? The artifact is gone how else can it get power?” His fingers twitched on the nullification grenade in his hand, as seven others floated in series around his head like a crown.

Yes, yes I am and it's eating your hate.” Said the lich calmly. “I don’t know why you’re so angry right now but I can guess. But right now you need to let it go this is not our world it Rin’s. So we need to play by her rules.

“I say go for it. If it gets away it will just find someone else to feed on and control to spread suffering and it’s too powerful right now to try to catch it anyways.” I say as I watch Luna pick up the dragon’s tooth in her magic and start swinging it at the Nightmare but it’s doing little damage.

The once angry expression on Doom’s face fell flat seeing what Luna was doing, sighing as it sounded out of his nose before speaking. “You can be cordial IF fed correct? Despite how I would ‘FEEL’ about your parasitical existence.” Returning a glare at the said dark pony wraith he wasn’t dropping his guard around, likely trying to gauge its response before adding on. “I don’t mean the ‘I’ll play along until striking when your guard is down’ type of cordial. You get enough of that around the worse of nobility.”

The Nightmare just floating in that one spot. Not even bothering to dodge the dragon’s tooth as it was getting more from Doom then it was losing from the attacks. With Doom’s words it giggled and gives a sinister smile before nodding and leans forward like she was preparing to pounce when the opportunity struck.

Why do I get the feeling little Nyx likes you Doom?” Asked the Lich as he put his stuff away. “By the way Rin where did you send the Skull anyway?

“...I’m not saying anything till she is nowhere around.” I tell him with a flat look.

Good plan.” He said nodding at me. “I’m shutting up now.

“Thou are making a mistake Doom. It just seeks an opportunity to take your body as it’s own the first chance it gets!”

Oh please Sombra tries that in my head all the time and fails.” Said Asphyxious as he waves his hand dismissively. The room becomes quiet as we all give him a look. “What?

“That aside Sombra had his own body and form. He wouldn’t have much if any real experience with body jacking. Taking over the bodies of others is what the Nightmare does. Its an expert from countless years of experience and unlike that ghost the Nightmare’s power is super charged right now.” I tell him.

Doom is looking at the Nightmare, leaning forward slightly in a narrowed response to it. “Well dark one, you can take your incorporeal cognitive matter off trying that, EVER.” The sight seemed to have looked as if a staredown had started, or perhaps what could be described as a unstoppable force meeting the unmovable wall.

Are you two going to have sex now?” The Lich asked in a deadpan manner. “If you are going to do it please take it into one of the other rooms.

Doom’s expression fell once more from what his eyes showed. “I would refuse on the grounds that this ‘Nightmare’ is inferior to me, as the denisons are quadrupedal making them appear far less of similarity.” Disdain held in his voice looking at it, before looking at me. “No offence on your part Rin.”

You must have a iron rod up your ass Doom.” Said the Lich as he looks at the nightmare. “Hell I’ve had the pie’s so I’m not one to talk. Hmmm Maud and Pinkie oh the things those girls can do, even if one of them was made of stone.

I just waved it off. “No worries Doom. I had to learn a lot of self control with the nature of my power, for everyone's safety, so no insults will rile me up.” I respond. Though I hear Luna’s annoyed snort from his words.

He stood fully back up before gesturing around. “The question would be this, ‘What now?’. For you have minions present, your niece, a dark abomination, two guests and yourself.” He folded his arms as the grenade he was holding floated up to the other seven rotating about his head, in a crown fashion as a ‘ticking’ motion ensuring the nightmare doesn’t forget he can hurt her.

Asphyxious looked at everyone and gave a light laugh. “Naked party?” He said holding out both hands. “It not as bad as it sounds, especially if you have drinks.

I look up at the Nightmare and I can feel it grow stronger with each tick of the clock. “Its power grows just by sitting here. We need to make it weaker.” I say which it obviously didn’t like hearing because it went back to attacking only the dark energy balls were now bigger and flying much faster with her greater power.

I’m pretty relaxed really.” Said the lich calmly as he moved out of the way. “Is it just me or is her aim off?” Asphyxious then pulls up one of his soul cages. “I’m getting sick of this.

“She's not aiming she’s just rapid firing in all directions like a gatling gun with a drunk guy using it.” I say as I jump around to avoid them.

His arms are folded, activating his shield once more as it gave off two shifting glows of green to white then back again. “If you throw a tantrum, I will get involved in this abomination. Remember what I said of being Cordial?” His eyes narrowed as the grenades floated near his hands now, watching her reaction while the ‘rapid fire’ had proceeded.

Hey this thing can be hurt by magic attacks now right?” Ax asked.

“Only if it’s harmony or love magic. I can’t help but notice we lack any users of them.” I say.

We suck at this.” Asphyxious said as a orb of magic was held in his hand. “Fuck it Bizzard.” The next thing I know some how the room was turned into a snow storm. The Nightmare stopped its attack long enough to look around before laughing. And now the wet snow is reacting with the hot lava and the room is filled with a thick fog of steam removing all visibility in the room.

Then Ax start singing jingle bells rock, why I have no idea.

Doom starts to use his perspective from picking up the outlines of the others, sending out static messages to Rin, Luna and the two dragons present as when one is sent to Asphyxious due to his nature couldn’t receive his message nor could this Nightmare. ‘If you can receive this Rin, order your minions at the opening to this room to try and get the steam out by fans or what have you available.’ ‘Luna if you can move to your left then use a beam at the two o clock position before moving.’ ‘dragons, depending on your stance for combat your wing leverage would be useful in clearing this ‘fog of war’.’

Nyx when I get my hands on you I am giving you a timeout you will never forget!” Yelled out the Lich. “You’re going to clean my den with a toothbrush!

Closing my eyes I try looking down at the room with my keeper vision and though I can't see details I can see shadows in the fog from the still glowing lava and mentally guide my dragons into position before creating portals to two windy mountains again and clear the air. Its the only option I have as I never needed to create a ventilation system before. The dungeon supplies the air and cleans anything that might be toxic over time on its own.

Asphyxious was chasing the nightmare around the room, It looked really silly like something out of a cartoon. “Let me hug you, damn you!” He say trying to catch her.

Doom took this time to toss two grenades at the nightmare’s location dealing two hits with a familiar sort of whistle letting it know where he was. “If you desire Oblivion simply ‘continue’ what your fight instinct tells you ‘animal’, or use what a normal sapient being would use. A cognitive mind and peacefully surrender to our humble host, because I will not be staying in this world forever. which means YOU will starve.”

She gave off a cry of pain from the grenades before looking angrily at Doom. But rather than attack I’m surprised to see that it has a contemplative expression on its face. “If you’re thinking you can still find the skull I can assure you that it is no longer on this world.” I tell her which causes her to growl angrily.

Asphyxious stopped what he was doing and looks at everyone. “It would of just eaten her anyway.” He said from out of no where. But it just snorts, not believing it could fall victim to an artifact. “I bet Lord Toruk would love eating its soul. Slowly, painfully, it just the kind of Dragon he is.

I can see that Ax’s words were getting nowhere. It was too proud to consider the possibility that it could be prey. “You can still feed. There are dark artifacts I know how to make that can generate hate. Nowhere near as much as the skull but unless you submit you won’t starve.” Luna looks at me like I lost my mind. “Don’t worry Lulu I can make it so she would need to be my minion to feed on it and I will have control if she is. Even if she jumps into my body I can remove her with my hand of evil.” I say and the Nightmare hisses at that. I can see she's trying to feed on Doom more discreetly to hide that its power is growing. “She's building up for round two I think she needs another spanking.” I say as I gave her a flat look.

Doom raises a grenade in each palm, their violent spinning rotations giving off a low whistle as he launched one at her to prove a point. “They might not be able to batter you down fast enough but I can, you have an offer of continued SURVIVAL, only an animal would be blind not to take the chance.” He seemed to prod at the nightmare, in a tone speaking down to her as his gaze gave the impression that she was as beneath him as a rat.

Asphyxious looked like he was brooding. “I should've brought the warjacks but no, it was a party what could go wrong? Apparently everything wants to KILL ME!” He yells off by himself. “I’m starting to think Jack was right, You hear me asshole! When I find you I’m going to kick your ass!” Okay then Ax is ranting to himself.


(Meanwhile in another Equestria)

A certain, if not VERY Handsome Jack sneezed while having an Awkward Lunch. In Canterlot Castle’s dining room, with a regal Celestia sitting with a strange smile on her muzzle wearing a revealing quarter opened blouse. “Would you be sick Jack?” Offering a tissue towards him, which he slowly accepts, looking around himself first.

“No, I am simply FINE. I just felt like someone was either using my name in vain, or someone fucked up from something. But back onto WHY you invited me here on business when-” The conversation cut off with what looked like a slow inching almost invisible being crawled under the table towards him, with a exact build to Celestia. Only to fade back to the correct story by an inky tentacle forcing the viewer out.


(Back in Rin’s dungeon)


AND I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!” Asphyxious looked like he was out of breath after his long ten minute rant. “I feel better now.” He said as he looked up at the disappointed Nightmare that looked like it was just about to jump into him. “Awww do you want a cuddle.” He said in a happy tone again causing her to cringe and fly out of his reach.

“I’m warning you. You need to drop that cocky attitude or you won’t live to regret it.” I tell her but I can tell she still thinks she's the apex predator.

Doom look’s to Luna for a moment then back to Nightmare, asking what could both be a simple question and a complex one depending on the view. “Tell me animal, what would have happened when EVERYTHING had died out? There would have been nothing for YOU to feed on, at best you are a parasite. What keeps YOU from coexisting with a host without ‘drying up’ your limited supply? For a smart animal just knows their limits, it only takes a dumb one to end up mounted to some wall or decomposing. Though in my case, your remains and the scene of their existence ending, would be on memorial next to anything else that earned my ire and died from either my hand or indirectly.”

The Nightmare just gave the annoyed look of someone hearing a lecture they heard a thousand times before.

Asphyxious then followed up on this. “Let me put it this way if you got a hold of the the Skull you would die. It is like a venus fly trap. It say to you come here I am food but really you’re the one feeding it.

“I can see your stubborn and offended so I’m going to give you a little demonstration of something. Pay close attention now.” I tell her and she leans in close with a mocking look on her face. I then opened my mouth wide and chomp down. Swallowing her in one gulp.

“...Did thou just...eat the Nightmare?” Luna asked with a sick and confused look on her face.

I don’t know why but that was hot…” Said the Lich in aw.

I open a mental link with the others so she can’t hear. The battles and those grenades made her magic reserves lower than mine so I used Mr. Nibbles magic stealing spell in combination with a soul stealing and soul eating spell I got from the Necronomicon. My body is draining her magic into me. Her soul will be protected by her magic. I’ll spit her out before she could be digested. I’m just proving a point.
I say through telepathy.

Asphyxious then moved up to me and started hugging my leg before saying this. “Can you please teach me that spell.” He asked looking up at me.

Doom regarded me with a look of curiosity, nodding at what I’ve said at each point. “As the lich has so ‘bluntly’ pointed out, I would be rather curious about this ‘Magic Stealing’ spell. It would be useful regardless, though I wonder if it merely only affects organic types.” Speaking in a lighter tone while rubbing his mask covered face.

“Excuse us.” Luna said with a stone face as she walked out of the room before I could hear the sound of her throwing up. I just sent a command to some of my imps to bring her a glass of water and some mops to clean up.

Ok, but be careful with this. When you use this spell you’re opening yourselves up to have your own magic stolen. I wouldn't have used it if I didn’t know her magic reserves were low enough that it was safe. You connect your magic with the targets and it becomes a tug of war so don’t think you can slowly whittle a stronger caster down with this. In fact that’s how I learned it. Mr. Nibbles tried to take my magic thinking I was just an animal so he underestimated me.

Like linking with a warjack only your not sending commands. Asphyxious asked nodding at what I was saying.

I’m telling you this way because I don’t want the Nightmare learning it. Be careful what you say out loud or I won’t teach you how the spell is cast. I told him with a deadpan. Asphyxious bowed his head at me. I give a nod and project the complex spell into the minds of my two guests.

Ouch… That, a lot to take in.” Said the Lich as he rubs his head. “This is going to take years to work out.

“If it were easy it would be more common.” I said simply.

Doom might have been eager to learn as he folded his arms with a tapping finger watching me, while Spidermare was watching him with an odd expression. Her arms were wiggling together in a silent ‘EEEE!’ sort of tone her body gave off, as his tapping finger sent a tiny jolt to me with the message. ‘I am ready, whenever you are.’

Doom, what are you doing to the spider lady?” The Lich asked watching this.

Doom looked up back at her, only to see her ‘at ease’ turning her head with a neutral expression from her eyes. Though they would drift back to Doom repeatedly at least six times before he looked back at me and Ax. “I honestly have no idea, she is simply on standby waiting for a threat.” Though while he was looking away she had a glimmering look, holding the edge of the hole in the ceiling like a peeping fangirl. Ax slowly looks at me then back to Doom.

I can feel I have most of her power drained so I squeeze my stomach and force her up. At that moment Luna walked back in. “We’re ok.” She announced before she saw my mouth open wide and a dark grey ,rather than black Nightmare plopped onto the floor, shivering with a look of shock, disgust, and violation on her face. Luna looked down at the display before turning around and walking back out again. Only this time she gave off dry heaves.

I’ve seen worse.” Asphyxious said calmly as if seeing something like this was nothing.

Doom simply looked down, not with the slightest look of his earlier hate. With that he simply crouched down to her shivering form, patting her on the head giving the equivalent of a inner ear rub. “Have you learned your lesson?” Was all he said, giving her a comforting look. She responds by nodding at him with a cartoonish speed.

“Good, now lets get out of this place. Its too hot down here.” I say miserably before turning to my dragons. “Now that there is no evil skull to guard do you guys want to use it as a pool or something?”

“Yes! Thank you. We have been missing the volcanic atmosphere.” The sister said as the brother gave a nod. Trying to look cool as usual.


(Later in the main part of the dungeon)

Luna was on her back laying on the floor as her legs kicked about uncontrollably with her laughter. “This doth be better than the Mr. Nibbles thing!” She shouted before losing control again. Sitting on the table in her new vessel was the Nightmare. The arms of the Nyx plushy that she now resided in crossed over her chest with a pout.

“That doll will feed you hate so long as you remain inside it. There is no need to pout you can come out whenever you want.” I tell her as I pat her soft head.

Doom’s expression remained unamused before making his comment. “You do realize you just insulted each of them by putting them in a separate ‘cages’ that devalues their former position, but for the question, can she fly or use magic? It is a security risk if so.”

I want to cuddle her.” Asphyxious said trying to not go over to the plushy Nyx and hug her to death. But before he could she picked him up in her magic and threw him across the room.

“Did that answer your question?” I asked Doom.

Doom simply stared at what Nightmare did, giving the being in plushy form a respectful nod. “Nice toss, pony. Can you speak as well?” He held a likely smile at the throw still. She smiled but shook her head before gesturing to her throat.

“She can only speak to those she possesses or if she is in a body capable of it.” Luna said as she regained control of herself. “No vocal cords.”

I’m okay… A spider broke my fall…” The Lich calls out. I turn to look as a pissed looking giant spider walks into the room and tosses the now tied in webbing lich onto the other side of the room before storming back out.

Doom and Spidermare looked at each other, the later looking down at the iron lich with disdain while doom seemed to regard him without care. “I see, well continuing on. That spell you wished me to SEE that we agreed upon?” He gestured as a topic to speak away from nightmare, as his gaze fell momentarily on Luna’s ruffled if slightly dirty appearance.

Asphyxious was freeing himself and looked at everyone. “I should really check on Pupa make sure she is okay.” He said pulling the webbing off of his head.

I nod and create a portal for Ax to Ponyville which my two guards came in from first. “Whoops...You're mad I left you behind aren't you?” I ask. They said nothing but gave me angry looks. “I’ll take that as a yes… alright Ax there is Ponyville. Go on so I can go give Doom his demonstration.” I tell him.

“Cutie mark crusaders explosives experts YAY!” Was heard from the portal

Asphyxious looked down at the four fillies that ran into him. “Pupa just what are you doing, I also see you made some new friends.” Pupa just grind along with Sweetie Bell. ‘BOOM!’ smoke flew in from the portal with the sound of the blast.

Asphyxious looked at the portal then at the girls as he crossed his arms. “Explain, Now.

“Well Rainbow Dash was having fun scaring ponies with her thundercloud so we wanted to prank ponies to. But none of us could get to any clouds so we decided to use firecrackers instead. And we found a box of big ones in this shed outside of town..

Girls, did it have the letters TNT on them…” The tone the Lich was giving them made it clear that the next thing they tell him will get them in trouble. But at the same time they can’t get out of it.

“Yes.” They all said sadly as I poke my head into the portal to see the damage then pulled it back. Asphyxious was giving them all a lecture about how dangerous that was and someone could of gotten hurt. The Lich then walks them to the portal. “Sorry I have to take these girls back to town to say their sorry for what they did.

“They demolished the school house.” I said aloud as I gave the four a deadpan look.

“I didn’t think it would be that bad.” Said Pupa. She looked at me and Ax with the puppy eyes. “You know that don’t work on me, I was going to have you grounded once we get back but now I’ll have to add more to that punishment. You are going to learn enchanting from Moon Dancer for the next week.

Pupa whined that was boring, but the Lich shooed her and the CMC through the portal.

“...Well, that happened.” I say before I close the portal behind Ax. I use my sight of evil on the forest above before creating a new portal. “Alright Victor let's get to it.” I say as I hop through. When he came through we were surrounded by wild wolves which I pressed down on with my magic before clumping them together. I pick one out and bring it to my face and closed the portal. “I already projected the process into your mind now just pay attention to the demonstration. I’ll make my magic as visible and move as slowly as I can.” I say as I extended a thread of magic from my mouth and injected it into the back of the wolf’s throat. Attaching the magic and then pulling it out and into myself. “Now you try.” I say as I lift a fresh wolf to his face as it snapped and tried to bite him despite being out of reach.

He took a few moments of preparation before trying his hand at it, though with the mask on it made it hard to see what he was doing. Causing a similar reaction drawing his head back upon finishing, as the bundle crumpled. “Hmmm, with practice it could be perfected. Though if you desire, I could teach you what I know of the casts and item needed resulting in what is called a Memory Orb. Which as you would guess the easiest step is having a translucent crystal orb of any quality, though that factor affects how well it is preserved without anyone breaking one.” He pulled out an empty orb as an example offering it to me.

“So does it just preserve memories like a home movie? Or steal them? What?” I ask as I study the orb.

Doom pulled out a second one that glowed before putting it back into his belt showing what a ‘full’ one looked like. “It is more of a ‘become the target’ when accessing the memory, you would think and react exactly how they did as one would on the ride. Normally it can only be used by Unicorns, but if a machine is invented to ‘play’ them that would be safer. The point is, you COULD copy and paste the memory you are desiring into the orb through the magic sequence, but that is the fine tuned advanced form. The original spell was used as instead of a cut and paste, it was a ‘rip out’ and paste into the orb, resulting in damaged individuals after that or complete memory loss.” He stated before doing his zap trick feeding me the incantation of it step by step, for both methods.

“I see. I can see this being useful. I never cared much for using the torture chamber for its intended purpose. Unless they did something really bad but as you no doubt guessed those are rare in this world.” I tell him as I moved the rest of the wolves towards us. “Might as well practice and not let them go to waste.” I tell him as I conjure some gems I mold into spheres and practice to catch some wolfe memories.


(When everyone was back together and ready to leave.)


“We’re ready to go big guy.” Said Gilda with a big smile on her beak. Asphyxious looked at her then at something else not far away. I looked to and saw Big Mac with what looks like scratch marks all over him. He was also walking wobbly.

Okay, I’m not going to ask. Thanks for the party Rin and let me know if you find out whatever happened to ‘IT’.” He said with Pupa placed on his shoulder.

“Oh I know what happened to it I just didn’t say before.” I take a moment to check and see nightmare was playing chess with a ghost far off. “I would have preferred to have it sealed first. It is now located in a place where there are no souls. Like in Portal 2 the one ‘IT’ went through went to the moon."

Asphyxious looks up at the night sky and nods at me. “I understand.” Ax said as Moon Dancer was holding a bag of sweets.

Doom looked pretty satisfied, though Spidermare seemed excited behind him. “It was rather ‘interesting’ though educational here, are you sure that you don’t want me to stick around to collaborate your story with your niece if questioned? We did make a rather disturbed crowd, from that hamlet.” He questioned, having nodded at Luna.

Before I could reply I heard laboured breaths as Celestia came up to us with a battalion of guards. She moved like my sad attempt at making golems before getting the warjack how to book as her breathing was labored. “Where” Huff “Is” Huf “The enemy!?” she wheezed.

“Celly are you ok? It looks like your armor is trying to kill you.” I say as I look her over.

Asphyxious laughs as does his daughter and Gilda just smiles at this with Moon giggling.

“Sister what have we told thee? Those cakes are eighty five pounds of high calorie ingredients each. Thou really shouldn’t eat more than four a day.” Luna chastised her sister.

Doom’s face was likely the most blank it could have rivaled a skeleton’s skull with neutrality before he spoke. “By appearances, from what I am seeing now. You Rin would likely be a decent charge over a small country or larger depending on how long you have ruled, out of your two nieces as for reaction time. I would put ‘Luna’ first but lacking reinforcements, as for ‘Celestia’ last for the slowest if not sputtering readiness to bare.” Moving a hand he clasped my shoulder gently by saying this added on the end. “Out of the two results, I pity you and hope they can get better to a competent degree.” He removed his hand and stood up straight again folding his arms.

Celestia took in as deep a breath as she could to try to speak but that just made the armor around her torso pop off her back and sent it flying into a tree, embedding itself into the trunk. Standing back up with a look of grace and dignity she said. “I know the years of peace have softened us up but we are improving. Besides I was delayed by a problem with my armor. It clearly shrunk over the years.”

Wow and I thought my Celestia was bad with her big…” He stop himself from saying more seeing Pupa was with him. “Wings…

Doom said nothing, he raised a hand up covering his face with one hand. While Spidermare had the decency to ignore the scene, though there were a few barely noticeable flashes coming from his and her location. As the later was a momentary shift of her stance, after the moment passed he finally spoke up. “So, do you also blame the likely smiths who had poured their hours on end labor and hearts into crafting an item set. That has lasted up until this point in time, only to fail now?”

Gilda just rolled her eyes as she put her talons on her hips. “Really? Armor doesn’t shrink.” She said dryly. Asphyxious on the other hand was just waving at them.

“Metal can shrink if it gets cold enough.” She defended. “Just like heat expands.” Celestia lectures.

“Just like Big Mac.” Gilda said with a lustful smile.

“Wut!?” A voice cried out from behind the guards as Applejack knocked over the entire formation and got in Gilda’s face. I see that all of the barriers are present with their Elements. “What was that about my brother!?” She shouted with her face inches from Gilda’s.

“Why don’t you ask him.” Gilda purrs to Applejack with a smile that said she did buck with him.

“Oh that's it! Come On girls lets blast her!” AJ shouted as she moved over to her friends and started squinting at Gilda like she was trying to make her head explode. “Whatcha waiting for girls? You know how it goes! Things get real shiny, we toot rainbows and the bad guy goes poof!” Applejack told her friends when they didn’t help before, as I can guess, trying to activate the Elements by herself...Or maybe she’s really constipated all of a sudden. Its hard to tell.

Asphyxious was just hovering over Gilda and chuckles. “Oh no look at me I’m a pretty pony with rainbow powers, I shoot things with magic coz I say so. Look at me I’m so pretty. I look silly when I don’t get my way.” Asphyxious went on as Pupa was giggling at this but was interrupted when an apple smashed into his face getting applesauce in his eye sockets and nose. She had launched one at Gilda to but she was paying better attention and dodged.

Doom’s stance was to stay quiet, though much closer to me now with Spidermare watching Ax’s group looking back at Doom than the army of ponies Celestia brought with her. “Do you make it a point to be hated? Or childish to those who could ‘keep’ you from going home if they were vindictive.” He gave Twilight a nod, though not seeing her in her costume. “Some historical costumes were worthy of praise, perhaps next year a contest could be done for that?”

Asphyxious pulled an apple seed out of his eye and looked at it before handing Pupa to Moon. As the Arthro pony walks over to me. “I hope you realize this means WAR!” He summoned a small army of ghost like Knights who quickly went off and came back with baskets full of tomatoes and eggs. “Ponies and Dogs arm yourselves with eggs and tomatoes, for tonight we dine in HELL!” And that's how it all kick off with AJ starting a food war.

As I watch this I turn to see Celestia, Luna and Pinkie sitting beside me watching what will later be known as the Great Food War of 98. Each eating from a bucket of popcorn. “You’re only letting this happen because it distracted all of them from the armor thing aren't you?” I ask Celestia as one of the buildings were torn down to build catapults and the royal guard got in on the battle.

“I honestly don't know what your talking about.” She said straight faced as she used her magic to remove the armor from the tree and buried it deep beneath the earth so that none will find any evidence.

Doom Offers a couple pictures to me, showing a ‘blow by blow’ of Celestia and her armor blowing off into the now damaged tree. “I had heard that you have a thing for ‘embarrassing’ pictures..” releasing them into my magical grip, that had her facial reactions to the armor’s breaking off. “Will you send me and my Oath Sworn back now?”

I take the pictures then look up in bewilderment as a rotten fruit bomb fell from the sky and blasted Ax’s army leaving them laying on the ground covered in the innards of brave, fallen foodstuffs. “Yes, I believe that would be best. Doctor Doom, Asphyxious. Your contracts are complete!” While Doom and Spidermare went into their portal with dignity Ax...

When his portal opened Moon, Gilda and Pupa Jumped in leaving Asphyxious to be dragged into the portal but not before giving his last words. “This is not over Apple Famer! I will return with an army that will block out the sun! I will have my-” That was when all of his ghost Knights pushed him into the portal going in with him. Poor guy...Maybe sending him a few hundred chickens would cheer him up.


The great food war!

The Death of Octavia.

View Online

"WOAH!" I shouted as I slammed on the brakes and let Luna pass me just in time.

"Haha! We take the lead!" Luna shouted in celebration.

"Remember what I taught you all those years ago Lulu? You made the mistake in battle with the Nightmare and got hit with a big rock and you're doing it now. Always be aware of your surroundings!" I shout back at her as I stepped on the gas again. Luna turned her head to say something but stopped when she realized why I stopped and let her pass as she saw the dreaded, spiky blue turtle shell fly past me. "You should use your rear view mirrors more often!"

"Oh buck us!" She shouted as she leaned forward in her cart. Trying desperately and futilely to outrun and outmaneuver the blue turtle shell.

"Language!" I chastised.

"Oh poo!" She shouted out just before the shell got her and sent her spinning off the road and into a pipe. She looked up as her vision cleared only to see what she had stopped next to. "The poo has been doubled!" She shouted as the Ba bomb went off, launching her back onto the tracks. I drove around a corner and hit an items cube and when the little roulette box on my dash board stops spinning I see that I got a banana peel. I look up and smile. It was the last lap with me holding first place and the finish line was in sight. I check behind me and gulp as I see Luna also got an item cube and now has three red turtle shells circling her for a moment but she quickly fires them off in rapid succession. I just keep going towards that finish line while keeping one eye on the mirror and when the first shell is about to hit I'm able to just barely avoid it with a quick swerve to the side and I was able to stop the second by dropping my banana peal to intercept the shot. But that last one struck true and I was stopped while being taken for a spin just before I could reach the finish line. As I was spinning I could hear Luna cheering happily as she passed me and just as my spinning was slowing down I'm hit again and again as all of the NPCs that were able to gain on us during the blue shell incident passed me up. When it all finally stopped and I was able to cross the finish line I was in 2nd to last place. The one actually in last place was Celestia who managed to get her cart stuck on the bridge. To far over to pull herself back but to jammed into the broken railing to fall in so that she can be fished out and put back on the tracks. How she managed to get herself into that situation within the first sixty seconds of the race was beyond me. It probably didn't help that until the last go around Luna would save an item to shoot her in the backside with at each passing. I then stop with a jolt as my cart bumped into Luna's which was now facing me and she was giving me the biggest shit eating grin as she showed off her first place medal. I just grin and give her a hoof/paw bump for pulling that last second win. Even if the fact that I got blasted by every NPC so they could pass me when I was inches from the finish line annoyed me greatly. With the game over we broke into a void.

"Well that was a fun game wasn't it girls?" I asked as I look to them and see Celestia walk up to Luna while glaring at her. "Well for most of us..."

"Is there something wrong dear sister?" Luna asked innocently.

"You know very well what's wrong. You kept shooting me in the plot!" Celestia shouted.

"We were merely trying to aid thee in getting free of the evil bridge that had defeated thee and held thee hostage." Luna responded while she held a grin that threatened to split her face.

"How does having a turtle shell stuck between my cheeks help me get out?" Celestia demanded.

"Well if something like that was shot into our royal moon it would make us jump verily high. We were simply attempting to create that effect to launch thou free of the vile bridge. Whom we remind thee is the one truly to blame here. For it was the one that forced us to take drastic action to secure thy safety." Luna said in a slightly higher voice as she struggled to contain her laughter.

"Girls." I said in a warning tone to get them to stop before turning to Luna. "Luna apologize to Celestia before she gets you back with the inevitable pay back prank. It will shorten the prank war that's coming considerably." I tell them but they just give me a strange look.

"Thou want a prank war shortened? Thou love prank wars. After thou were trapped in stone we even honored thou with a holiday revolving around it every April first because we noticed thou did the most pranking then for some reason. Every little colt and filly loves Rin's Fools day." Luna proclaimed. Oh so that's the holiday she mentioned on Nightmare night... Fitting.

"Yes but you two have more important things to do. I trust you're using the weights I gave you Celly." I say to her.

"Yes aunty, every day." Celestia said with a sigh as she rolled her eyes.

"Good. And the guards?" I ask them.

"As you advised after meeting him the warden of our dungeon has been promoted to drill Sargent and giving both of our soldiers proper training. Though we did cut a few of his ideas as going a bit far. He wanted to take them into the Everfree to fight monsters." Celestia said with a shake of her head.

"Yes my body guards told me about that. It also explains why they favor combat with my hydra in the combat pit as a workout." I say as I enjoy the looks of shock and horror on their faces.

"What!? But that's suicidal for those young earth ponies!" Celestia shouted at my words.

"Hey, the combat pit is a controlled environment. It's not like they were fighting to the death. Besides they always win." I say and get to enjoy the looks on their faces as their jaws hit the floor. That old pony reminded me of Garp from One Piece. Well his teaching methods. That pony was too high strung to be Garp. I mean the Everfree field trips started when they were ten but only because their parents refused to let them go when they were five. But the Equestrian military needs all the help it can get so I'll keep that to myself. He's close to retirement anyways and if Celly finds out he'll be sentenced to life for child endangerment. Not that I would disagree but desperate times and all. Besides I'll make sure he won't be teaching anymore kids. "They're good at training my other minions. Even all my zoo animals. Though they favor fighting the Hydra they make time for the others." I tell them as I wait for their brains to finish loading.

"Are thou serious!? If that's the case why are we training our guards to such an extent? Those two go beyond what we expect from our forces." Luna said.

"I thought that too when I first saw one of them in a one on one with him, assuming you can call a fight with a hydra one on one. But then I took one of the guards you left in my room and tested him with more reasonable sparring partners." I tell them as I show them some images from my memory. Three out of three matches lost to my weakest black knight, a minotaur. Three out of three losses against Trixie though she's been getting good with her spells and working hard to get stronger. He never completed even the first round against Cutup.

"That is the scariest bucking clown I have ever seen." Celestia said with wide eyes as she watched her guard running around the arena screaming and crying like a little filly as he tried to keep his distance.

"Normally I'd chastise you on your language but that was the effect I was going for with Cutup so its my fault this time." I say as I shift it to the last match which really proved my point.

"Now we know our guards aren't that bad but we will still be sure they get their training." Luna said as she watched the day guard fighting desperately against a bouncy ball to a stand still while Celestia was covering her face with her wings at the sight. Though they don't need to know it's high level. "What of thou aunty? Is the Nightmare giving thee any trouble?" Luna asked.

"She was a bit of a paw full at first but she came around. Besides she's not as much of a threat as she was. After I digested her for a while her power was cut drastically. Now her magic charged to maximum level is half that of the average unicorn and she needs to keep some of it reserved for nothing but sustaining her body so she can't even cast the truly advanced spells." I tell them.

"How much of a paw full?" Celestia asked suspiciously.

"Well she tried possess me to take over the place but she's far too weak for that now. Now don't you give me those looks you two I disciplined her. She also tried to possess Trixie but ran into a problem trying that. Check out this memory I got from her." I say as they see an image of the inside of Trixie's head from the Nightmare's prospective. As the image shifted left to right as the Nightmare looked around everything got darker and when I looked up we can see a giant blue plot coming down like the moon from Legends of Zelda Majora's Mask. The Nightmare didn't have time to react as it came crashing down on her with enough force to launch her out of Trixie and sent her tumbling across the ground.

"That doth be a strange mental defense, though we must admit it doth be quite effective." Luna said as the void returned.

"Actually that was her ego sitting down. I'm so proud of Trixie. When she first came to me her ego was twice that size! I'm glad to see she's improving." I say with a smile at their bewildered looks. "And about the Nightmare, I broke off a few splinters from my soul...Don't look at me like that they were so small they grew back in less than an hour. Each one for an emotion which I attached to her soul and they will be fed to grow in her with each experience and every time she uses the doll."

"You're giving the Nightmare the ability to feel things other than greed, pride and hate?" Celestia asked in surprise.

"Hey, its working. Slowly admittedly but it is." I tell them with a shrug. Speaking of making nightmares better how is Twilight?" I ask getting a glare from Celestia.

"First of all please don't call her that again. But she is getting some professional help about her obsessive need to learn everything and her scientific equipment has been confiscated until she has control of herself... I still can't believe she had an anal probe." She said as she shook her head with a face hoof.

"Right... anyways I think its time to get back on track. We played so lets get some training in before Lulu needs to go tend to the dreams of her subjects." I tell them as I think of a game for this.

"Not that zombie game from last time I hope." Celestia said with look of disgust.

"Don't like zombie games?" I ask her.

"No. And that one was particularly bad. The fat ones kept regurgitating on us. The smoky ones got far too fresh with their tongues and it was all too gory for my tastes." Celestia answered.

"And when we went to aid that crying witch mare and accidentally startled her she clearly overreacted!" Luna agreed.

"Well that's ok. I was planning on stepping things up a bit anyways. "I say as the area changed from an endless void to a much nicer landscape and the game title appeared above us.

"Ninja Gaiden? This game will help sharpen our minds and reflexes for battle?" Celestia asked as she looked up at the title.

I get a wide grin from her question. "Yes, oh yes it will. Muahahahahaha!"

"Aunty thou are rubbing thy paws together and laughing maniacally. It doth be making us uneasy... Stop it." Luna said with a commanding tone but with a look of concern in her eyes. I was about to reply to her when we were interrupted. You're creature is under attack!

>>"Sorry I got to go dream training canceled today!" I said quickly as I force myself back into the waking world and immediately focused on my keeper sight. When I focused on battle I'm surprised to see that my sight is being pulled away from my dungeon past the trees of the Everfree and into Ponyville to a strange house that looked like it had two different decorators that started at each end and met at the door. I could also see that the door was open with a piece missing where the handle should be. My vision then moved inside to see a heavily injured Vinyl and Octavia being attacked by a team of ponies dressed like the ponies that attacked me at the palace awhile back with the leader . And it looked like they were winning.

"You are a powerful vampire but you can't win against our righteous might! You and you're fledgling have tasted the blood of your last victims!" Bellowed the leader as he moved in to try to finish them. They don't appear to have anything to fight vampires with so if she dies she will return through the power of the graveyard. Unfortunately they're apparently planning to kill Octavia too and I can't pull her to safety because she's not my minion. So I hit Vinyl with the healing spell which caused her to get more confident knowing I'm backing her up and left her to protect her marefriend. I can't heal Octavia unless she's in front of me or in my territory without the connection of the heart so she will have to wait till I get there.

I then focus on my minions in my dungeon and found my bodyguards still awake and in their armor. I grabbed them and two other black knights, Cluck, a few flesh golems I created after my first one was damaged beyond repair by that Deathjack in Ax's world. I decide not to bring any skeletons because they wouldn't make any difference if those guys banged up Vinyl that much and even if they did I didn't want them wandering off into town. I then create a portal to Vinyl's and Octavia's house before dropping my minions in and jumping in myself.


(In Vinyl's and Octavia's home on the outskirts of Ponyville.)

I came out in the room next to the one that the fight was taking place in as my minions quickly readied themselves for battle when they saw what was going on. I had to give Vinyl another heal spell but when I looked to Octavia to heal her I froze when my necrosense alerted me to the fact that I was looking at a dead body. I looked back to Vinyl to see that she was attacking the leader with intense rage that most would be unable to see let alone avoid but this guy was far more skilled than Strong Heart 2 and speed aside she was too angry to think much in the fight and was only still going because of her vampire speed and she was able to keep her techniques do to muscle memory. The leader was dressed in what appeared to be leather armor with a metal helmet. It wasn't decorative like the knights from last time. It was purely functional. It was a testament to his skill that it looked like he hadn't taken any hits against Vinyl as he dodged around and occasionally landing a blow with his sword. His underlings had been staying back and watching the fight but when we showed up they had moved to wall us off from their leader and Vinyl and got into a ready battle position which my minions mimicked their movements and separated them from me.

Unfortunately Vinyl made a mistake and her opponent was able to move in with his sword. She was able to get in a good punch which gave off the sound of a bone going snap but the blade still went threw her neck and her head went flying for a moment before she turned to ash. He snorted and shook his head to get some of it off of his face. While he was doing this I was thinking of the best strategy to use against them. Which won't be so limited because they killed an innocent. The kid gloves were off for this one. Speaking of innocent their leader looked down on Octavia and approached her body with caution while keeping his sword ready. He poked her leg with the blade's tip once before quickly running her through the stomach with enough force the sword made it all the way through her and into the floor and when nothing happened I could see a look of confusion in his eyes.

"Why hasn't the fledgling turned to ash?" He asked in confusion.

"Because she was a normal, innocent earth pony and not a vampire or any other kind of undead." I tell him with controlled anger. He then looked over to me with disgust like I was covered in shit before he spoke.

"Filthy demon. Seeping your filth into everything you can and now this pony is dead because of you. Just one more reason to kill you." He said with the same controlled anger I just spoke with in a tone that said he was stating a fact. My anger spiked but I kept control of myself thanks to years of training. This bastard had the gall to blame me for the murder he committed. And his underlings are all looking at me like I had killed her myself.

"We had come to catch Vinyl Scratch to extract information from her about you when we found out what she was. But we also took into account that you might show up and we have a plan for just this situation." He said ominously as the unicorns in his party charged up their horns and cast a spell... Everyone took quick glances around to see what the spells did but we couldn't see anything happening.

"...Retreat!" The leader shouted as he and his troops bolted out the door. We all just stood there in confusion for a moment at their reaction. Not sure what just happened. I quickly shook the confusion from my head but before I could shout an order there was a loud crash and a flaming boulder came crashing down through the ceiling and knocked one of my black knights too the side, breaking his arm and setting it on fire only alive now thanks to the bone armor and in continued rolling to crushed two of my flesh golems. The others in its path were able to dodge it as it rolled into the next room and set it ablaze.

"Move!" I shouted as I grabbed my downed black knight and Octavia's remains and made for the door with my minions behind me save for my bodyguards who moved right in front of me which turned out to be lucky because when they burst through the door several arrows flew and hit, bouncing harmlessly off their armor. I create a basic barrier outside for us and we came out to see that they had stopped and were waiting for us.

"Some said it would be a waste of pony power and resources but I knew she could call for help. And we know you're building an army with some kind of recruitment spell. Though I honestly didn't think you would show up personally. My name is Hunter and on this day I vow to end you vile one even if I must crawl through the pits of Tartarus itself to do it!" He said in anger as I saw a small army of ponies, griffins, donkeys and a few buffalos and minotaurs moving in from the near by woods. My eyes furrowed at this. I suspected but now I'm 100% sure they have a spy in the palace for them to know about the recruiting thing. The sun had set recently so I could see the a flame close to the forest that came from a catapult that must have been what launched that flaming boulder that trashed the house. They launched another shot only this time what was launched was a barrel with a thick, burning fuse sticking out. With a quick glance I see the unicorns have created and maintained a strong barrier. Mine is too weak for a bomb that strong so I push out with my shield and send it back to land right behind the ones that attacked inside the house and quickly put up another low level barrier just in time to defend against the blast.

I look through the cracks in my shield and see that they're ok but the bubble protecting was unstable and slowly evaporating. The army was moving closer and we were outnumbered. I created a portal to my dungeon to bring in reinforcements behind the burning house to hide it before sending orders and grabbing more minions. I give a glance and see that the windows and doors were all closed and the streets empty. Good they're all hiding. I bring in an army of trained skeletons and let them run around the house and charge the enemy forces before pulling in some stronger minions and sending my injured black knight back into his bed. I will heal him later since the healing spell doesn't work well with broken bones if you don't set them first. The undead army surprised them at first but they quickly moved in to fight. The leader and his group stayed in the bubble and let them pass as they focused on me while I took the time to make a stronger barrier to protect us while I work. I can tell that the minions with me are itching to get out and fight except my bodyguards who stayed close to me.

When they realized I was charging something up they dropped their shield and attacked. Their strikes made more cracks but Hunter just melted the shield with his presents. Or should I say his magic resistance talisman? My black knights moved to the opening and forced him and some of the enemies back but some moved around and came at me. The twins held them off till I was able to bring up a stronger shield to protect the three of us as the flesh golems used the opening to move to attack the army. With the new shield up I used my powers to prepare one of my minions myself to get him here faster as the minions I ordered to come started showing up from the portal. First was Show Stopper in the Cutup body who instantly charged the army causing frightened shouts. Then came my rogues with bottle cap sized explosives to disable that catapult who snuck around the house.

Next was the resurrected Vinyl but not from the portal. She had run here directly from the dungeon with her bass cannon on her back using her vampire speed. Considering how fast she got here I have a feeling I'm going to need to fix the shifting maze between the dungeon and it's exit. I take time to pull the black knights away from Hunter much to their annoyance, dropped them back into the portal for them to come back and heal them just in time for Hunter to be blasted by the bass cannon. Now that he was temporarily off the battlefield I focused on my work before he could come back assuming he was capable after the landing. I was almost done when there was a loud boom as I look up to see a rainbow mushroom cloud and I saw Rainbow Dash attacking one of my flesh golems after she had obliterated several of my skeletons on her entry.

"Rainbow stop attacking the good guys!" I shouted which caused her to shoot back up into the air and looked at me in confusion. She looked at me, then the undead, the giant scary clown, the black knights. Then she looked at who they were fighting. In their white, heroic looking clothes and armor.

"Seriously?" Rainbow asked me with a skeptical look.

"Don't listen to the demon! It's a deceptive monster!" One of the white knights shouted up to Rainbow causing her to glare down at me.

"Ya that makes sence! Why would the aunt of the princesses be working with monsters!? You're some kind of shape shifting monster aren't you!?" She demanded as she flew at me. No!... well ok technically yes but I don't pull that trick often and it's an illusion not real shape shifting... and I'm not evil!

"No wait don't!" I shout but before I can finish the warning she collides with the shield which was the same energy eating shield the nightmare used. It doesn't steal magic like what Mr. Nibbles did but it sucks the energy out of it. If a magical being were to make direct physical contact with it, it's going to hurt. Rainbow screamed in pain when she hit and the energy inside her body was being forcefully pulled out of her to be used as fuel for the shield. She will be fine but she will need a good long power nap when this is done. Despite the danger I dispel the shield to free her, allowing her to fall to the ground where she groaned from the experience. Several of the archers and mages took advantage of the dropped shield and opened fire. I quickly cast the low level barrier but it didn't last long under the bombardment. My guards got in the way and took the shots that got through. The armor protected them as I gave my personal protectors full body armor. It was light enough for them to fight in. I grabbed them and Rainbow in my magic and jumped behind the cover of the burning house and set them down to see that Unyielding had the misfortune of having an arrow hit an opening in her armor and in her flesh but in her strong and silent type nature she pushed the arrow all the way through with a pained grunt and took it out the other side of her foreleg.

I heal Unyielding and thanked the twins before focusing on the portal and growing it bigger and bigger. I had finished prepping and brought in two minions. First was Crocodile as he flew up and landed before taking his whip from his belt in preparation. Next came Rhino in his steel body armor. He oinked excitedly before Crocodile whipped the ground to get his attention and get the giant bore to calm down and directed him to turn and charge the army. Directing his charge to avoid my guys and started plowing through the now panicking enemy troops that were quickly trying to get out of his way.

"With all do respect my lady. Why are you here? Can't you help the way you are from the safety of the dungeon?" Swift asked as I closed my eyes to get the keeper's eyes view and started healing the hurt minions. I frown when I see that I lost most of my flesh golems already. I'm starting to wonder if it's worth the effort to make them.

"I know that tactically speaking it would be best if I was but I can't cast against enemies unless I'm there and I'm the strongest caster." I stuck my head out to cast the turn cote spell on what I can tell is their strongest caster before pulling my head back before the magic blasts and arrows could hit me. "Though the fact that they're so focused on killing me specifically makes this more difficult." I say as the projectiles fly past me. "I wish I knew why they hate me so much." I say as I use my keeper sight to look at the catapult to see that my sabotage team had succeeded in disabling the thing so that's a relief.

The problem was Cutup. The ghost inside was fine but I can't use the healing spell on a fake body. Luckily few were willing to get close to it while Cutup was swinging his giant blades around and he was launching the firework frag grenades from his body but it wont last much longer. I was about to pull him back when there was a bright flash and I saw that Celestia and Luna had teleported in with their own forces. I smile at their much better reaction time. Even if Celestia was without armor. With the reinforcements of the girls and their guards the enemy sounded the retreat. The casters of their army tried to grab up as many of their downed troops as they could but I was having none of that so I casted the turn coat spell once more on the one carrying the most before shooting several others with thunderbolt spells just strong enough to disable them. While I was doing that I heard the sizzling sound of a lit fuse behind me and I turned to see Hunter behind me with one of those exploding barrels tied to his back and he was charging right at us.

"I told you I would slay you no matter what and I will!" He shouted as he charged at me with a look of malice and murder in his eyes. I quickly raze a basic barrier and started growing it to push him back but not fast enough and there was an explosion and I blacked out just after I got the feeling that I was flying.

I woke with a pounding headache in tight grip and the unmistakable sound of Luna screaming in her royal Canterlot voice right in my ears. "Uhhhh... Not this again. Luna stop, my head hurts enough already!" I complain as I try to wiggle out of her grip but again she refused to let go and I was so sore.

"Aunty! Thou are alright!" She shouted excitedly as she hugged me tighter.

"Ouch! Luna inside voice with my head so close!" I shout before casting the healing spell on myself to ease the pain

"Sorry aunty" She said in a normal voice as she held me tight against her breastplate and started nuzzling me. I just sigh as I look around to see the damage. The house fire was already put out and still being rained on by some storm clouds. The royal guards were keeping an eye on the captured enemy troops which I already decided I was going to use those memory orbs that Doom taught me how to make on to finally learn what this was all about and where the others are. I saw that Cutup was sitting with Pinkie Pie who instead of being upset at his appearance like I thought she would was actually trying to give him advice and jokes to make him a funnier clown. The other girls were with Celestia and I can see that Rainbow was awake and having something she clearly had trouble understanding explained to her. Probably that I'm really me and not evil. And Twilight had a... Wait.... No! Twilight had a psychiatrist with her that I was told would be helping her with her issues. But it was Dr. Wolf! Or a Dr. Wolf displaced. Well I guess it could be some kind of diamond dog but I doubt it with all of the similarities and even the same cloths. My black knights were celebrating their victory except for my body guards which I healed as they laid on the ground being watched over by a medic pony and my undead were thankfully being bound in magic so that they won't wander off. I'm saddened however when I see Vinyl crying over the body of her lover as she hugged it tightly and a pony with a body bag waited on the side. The sad mood was interrupted however when a certain pony spoke up.

"Ug Vinyl stop that! Get off me!" Octavia shouted which surprised everyone as she pushed Vinyl off her and looked around in confusion. I was confused myself until I noticed that she was still dead. Her soul had returned which could only mean one thing.

"Vinyl is any of that blood on her yours? Around the muzzle Specifically?" I asked as Vinyl got a look of understanding and sniffed Octavia's muzzle before nodding happily as she decided to mimic Luna by using Octavia as a teddy instead of me. She ingested vampire's blood then bled to death. She's been turned.

"Vinyl stop there are ponies watching everywhere. Royalty is watching!" Octavia shouted in a panic when she saw the girls. She looked around in embarrassment until her eyes fell onto the remains of her home. "...My cello!" She shouted as she took off at the house with Vinyl flapping in the wind as she clung to Octavia like she was a cape as Octavia started digging through the ruins at a speed that would put most diamond dogs to shame.


(past the night and after sunrise.)

Unfortunately Octavia lost her cello so I promised to buy her a new one of her choice to cheer her up and gave her a place to stay in my dungeon as my second vampire. The prisoners were safely transported to the palace dungeon where I immediately used the memory orbs on them before they could escape and a lot of extra security was placed on them. Finally I knew something about my attackers. Their name, capabilities, fighting styles and strategies. Unfortunately they didn't know where all of the bases were as they had some kind of system set up so none knew enough to seriously compromise the whole thing. So to stop them meant needing to take their organization down one brick at a time. As I was laying back in the bed I sigh.

"Can you let me go now?" I asked Luna as she hugged me while she rested comfortably in her bed and used me as a teddy bear.

"We say thee, nay!" Luna answered as she hugged me tighter causing me to give an uncomfortable wheeze as she fell asleep with a happy smile. This is going to be a long day.

Dungeons & Displaced

View Online

Once upon a time in the great city of Fielding. A beautiful city with towering buildings that sparkled in the sunlight like a mountain of jewels. A city that owed it’s beauty and great success for a wondrous magical creation invented by two great wizards that could protect the priceless treasures of the world even when being transported through the most unforgiving roads of the world. This amazing invention that everyone in the world happily bought from this city was called, bubble wrap. An amazing creation not only coveted for it’s protecting qualities. But also for the satisfying popping sound it made whenever enough pressure was applied to any of the small bubbles. A terrible crime was committed. A crime so awful that every citizen was in mourning at the news and messages were sent out to call together some of the greatest heroes in the land to their aid. Coming in on the latest passenger ship were six people who may very well be the salvation of this great city.

The first to walk down the ramp was the human bard known as Pegasus. He had long white hair and one golden eye. He wore a purple tunic with frills on his sleeves and the upper part of his pants were needlessly poofy for comedic effect. In his arm was his trusted lyre for which he used to play music for the masses or to accompany his stories of chaotic creatures called toons. Which were particularly popular with the children. Through his lyre he could even summon such creatures and not through a magic book that bitch slaps poor innocent displaced when they try to study it to try and figure out how to create their own toon minions… and pieing them in the face… and giving them a wedgie with magic underwear that appears out of nowhere.

Next was the warforged knight known as Emerl. Not the tallest individual by far he had a gold color paint job with a bit of orange. On his head was a curved, triangular plate with smooth edges with an egg shaped bump sticking out of his forehead and blue, glass eyes. He wore a suit of shiny white armor with a short sword on his back. This knight was known for his ability to quickly learn his opponent's style and develop a counter style for them while on the battle field.

After that was the monk by the name of Buu, who was seriously nerfed for the sake of keeping this story interesting and less predictable but still pretty strong. He was pink and round with some holes on his arms and head On the top of his head was a long antenna that bobbed behind him as walked. He wore white, baggy pants being held up by a belt with an ‘M’ on it’s buckle. He had a black vest and a purple cape. Though not the normal attire for a monk his appearance wasn’t changed because Buu is just that awesome. A master of martial arts this warrior can also wield the power of ki to go beyond his limits.

Next down the ramp was the artificer known worldwide as Jack the handsome. He had dark brown hair combed back and had a pair of goggles on his forehead. He wore stylized leather armor with a tool belt going from his shoulder to his waist so the cross his chest and a utility belt for small gadgets. Oh and his small annoying construct Claptrap who yells at potential customers and accuses them of being a thief when they’re not and only trying to buy neat new toys for the battle field with the massive pile of quality gems that they have just sitting in their treasury wanting to be spent on nice things like a shiny new tank. Claptrap was so stupid in fact that he was probably going to get killed in this quest in an extremely embarrassing way… And he just rolled his wheel in dog doo.

Next was the sorceress supreme Luna. She was a blue alicorn with an ethereal mane and tail with the night sky in them. She wore a black sorcerers dress with a starry pattern on it and holes on the back for her wings.

Lastly was the rogue Twilight. She was a purple alicorn with pink and darker purple stripes in her mane. She wore a black stealth suit with a small backpack containing her thief tools and daggers along with her essentials.

“Oh this will be fun. Art thou our party members?” Luna asked with a hop in her step as she looked around at everyone.

Handsome Jack looked at Luna in response, though from appearances he had just whacked the Claptrap over the head using a wrench to stop it from flailing around. “I have NO idea if i am on some drug trip or not, though given what goes for ‘magical drugs’ around here. I wouldn’t be surprised if a golden lama with a bong spoke at this point, so nice to see the imaginary ‘rational’ Luna in my dream.” He replied sarcastically, before pinching his nose with a slight mumble of some sort.

Emerl decided to break the trance and asked out loud. “Alright who are you? Why are we here?” Everyone looked at the robot like he was insane. “I know Harmony isn’t behind this since she would have screwed us, right now.”

Suddenly little explosions of confetti went off over Emerl’s head and and a small cake appeared in his hands for somehow being the first one to notice the big disembodied voice narrating the story.

“Sup my name is Emerl and I’m the guardian of the Tree of Harmony so narrator can you tell us why we are here?” Emerl asked as he wants to finish the random quest. Before he could get his answer, Jack gave him a nice deserved fist to the face. Emerl glares at the man.

Jack reprimanding Emerl at the moment by speaking with his eyes turning in every direction. “Shut it, this might be ‘Larry’ the testicle time jumper from the fourth dimension with a voice modulator who kidnapped me to some freaky pocket dimensional ‘farce’ to get back at me for mugging him for his ‘time crystal’. If not it could be those alien scammers and this is all a simulation, if it’s that we need to be nude because they hate looking at nudists..” His eyes narrowed looking at the others before adding at the end of his possible rant. “Or you ‘guys’ are also illusions to play on my sympathies.”

Emerl gave a snarky comment. “Yeah Larry is smart enough for this crud like you’re god damn mind needs for any sanity. Dumbass, we are in a dream.”

"Why is Buu fat?" Buu asked, looking at himself in disdain, "Buu hate being Fat Buu."

Suddenly and for no apparent reason Buu slimmed down and took his second form but was still nerfed so not to be overpowered. Happy now?

Jack looked at the sky, muttering to himself before asking a question. “Have YOU dealt with aliens? Immortal time wielders from the fourth dimension? Alternate Council selves who by the way are COMPLETE ASSHOLES!” Looking likely to get some form or response around himself expecting a form of immediate response of some kind, until nodding towards his fellow adventuring party. “Besides you haven’t faced off against a floating time wielding dimension jumping two armed testicle immortal have you?”

Emerl only stood silent until he rubbed his temple and said. “I thought Harmony sending my mind to fucked up online games were bad. Especially that pewdiepie or cat mario game.”

"How exactly did we get here?" Buu asked, crossing his arms, "I was having a nice dream about cupcakes and now I'm here with you weirdos." When suddenly there was a pink pony in front of him with a huge plate of cupcakes.

What? Pinkie how did you get in there?

“Well my Pinkie Sense told me that there was a cupcake emergency and I just followed my itchy nose.” She said happily.

What? But...Ok fine you gave Buu his cupcakes now can you please get out? You’re not supposed to be here.

“Oky dokey lokey.” She said happily before she jumped into a box and disappeared.

Pegasus looked around, reaching into his pockets he searched for his deck of cards. “To be honest, I’m still questioning if this is a prank that the toons pulled on me or if I just got sucked into the Toon World book again.” He growled, frustrated that he couldn’t find his missing cards, “And what happened to my Toon deck?! And where’s my Duel Disk?!” Pegasus asked for no reason as he should know that his lyre holds his magic and will be how he can summon toons when needed by playing toony music on it.

Emerl reappeared beside Twilight and asked. “So what’s your opinion?” Emerl tried to ignore the pink pony with fear of the pink screen of death. Emerl felt a twitch from his head. ’Hey dunce head tell the team to focus on the story and one more thing’ he was smacked on the forehead. ‘The town is suffering from a bloody crime.’ Emerl knew Harmony found a way in until he felt her getting kicked out of the dream.

"There's a displaced Twilight?" Buu asked, tilting his head to the side, "Also really? Yu-Gi-Oh? That's freaking lame."

Pegasus glared at Buu, “I’ll have you know that Yu-Gi-Oh is one of the best games there is!” He scowled, “Then again I wouldn’t expect a simpleton like you to understand!”

"Who are you calling a simpleton?" Buu asked, crossing his arms, "I may have the form of Majin Buu but I am not an idiot nor am I simple."

“Could’ve fooled me,” Pegasus replied.

"How do you figure?" Buu asked, raising his eyebrow.

He shrugged, “Mostly just the way you spoke in the beginning, you gave me the impression of being an idiot.”

Jack took the moment to throw an apple at each of them. “Will you BOTH shut it! ‘Teamwork’ is a thing and we lack info besides our ‘mysterious host’, so stop stroking yourselves off on WHO is an idiot. Besides you both are for arguing right now.” His flat look towards them in response before adding on yet again. “Not by appearance but by how you act.”

Buu just shrugged, zapping his apple with Chocolate Beam, transmuting it into a jawbreaker, which he popped into his mouth.

You guys are great. I’m hardly needing to narrate this and it’s still entertaining.

"Don't make me use Voice Shout Narrator because I will." Buu warned, looking up at the sky.

“Narrator do not make me squirt you with water and break the dream early.” Emerl stated which earned him an iron pan to the head by the narrator.

First of all how would you be able to squirt me when you don’t know where I am. Also I’m not sleeping. Also I control how reality works here so even if you tried you can’t shout your way out Buu. Now where are we… Ah yes. You all see a pony shaped ventriloquist dummy walk up to your group. He had wooden hair made to look like it was slicked back and had a fine suit. On his flank was a slimy green ‘G’ painted on as a cutie mark.

“Hello fine heroes...ish. I am Slappy the mayor of this city.” The dummy spoke before reaching into his shirt and pulling out a piece of paper and started reading it out loud. “We have called you to our city to help us. For an evil wizard and his minions have stolen our city’s greatest treasure. the…” Slappy said before he focused harder on the paper before looking up at the sky. “Really? The bubble wrap making machine?”

“Really narrator?” Emerl asked in a deadpan tone.

Yes really.

Slapy just gives a sigh before continuing to read aloud. “For without it we lose our only source of revenue for the city and it will fall apart without it. Please save our treasure and us all from the evil of Mr. Nibbles. Stop reading here...oh. Well you get the gist.” Slappy said as he pocketed the paper.

“ Wow I was hoping to face Tirek or something?” The robot asked Slappy.

“Funny you should say that. Actually he used to be called Tirek but when he tried to steal the boss’s magic she overpowered him and took his instead. Then she shrunk him down and we now keep him as a pet in a hamster cage back home.” Slapy answered. “Mr. Nibbles is just what the boss renamed him.”

Emerl only froze for a moment before he laugh like an insane bastard. “Oh my God that is more humiliating than what Harmony can think of. I wonder how he talks? Betting a high pitch chipmunk rip-off or Steve Urkel. ”

Jack simply shook his head sighing as he halfheartedly went along with what the wooden pony stated. “So since we are outsourced help, do we get a temporary residence and see the scene of this ‘tragedy’?” He used air quotes with his wording, though his eyes spoke ‘too old for this shit to be going on.’

“Ah…” Slappy said in confusion before looking to the sky with a questioning look. This was answered with a wagon falling from the sky with large undead wolves to pull it. When Slappy went up and looked inside he gasped. “Wow it’s bigger on the inside! It even has rooms with name tags and a fully stocked kitchen! Why can’t I have one of these?” He complained to the sky.

What would you do with a kitchen? You’re dead.

“I ment the wagon.” He grumbled. “Well does that answer your question?” Slapy asked.

Jack took the time looking at Slappy’s form while they spoke before asking a question. “So are you undead? Like something Grogar would do or is this something else? Another request, can ‘I’ get drunk here? Because this isn’t something to handle sober.” He rubbed his forehead likely a phantom pain would be welling up across his face.

“Please don’t give the boss ideas. Or give her any desire to get drunk herself as she has full control of this world and I don’t want to find out what will happen to it with us inside if she did. And I am a ghost. In life I was a ventriloquist and puppeteer so I’m good at possessing them. The boss has her own private army which is mostly comprises of the undead.” Slappy answered.

Now hold on I’m curious about this myself. Let's experiment. Jack suddenly found a huge keg hanging on the back of the cart with empty cups sitting in a holder.

Jack shrugged before moving to grab a cup, sitting next to the keg to pour some into said cup before tasting it. Giving a nod he fills up the cup only to chug it down with a swig back one would see from a veteran drinker. “This is ‘okay’ though at least I know the gender of our ‘host’ if that’s to be believed by an undead spirit who seems sapient enough or simulated construct in this glitched simulator. So Wuba dub dub!” He finished with an odd phrase refilling his cup waiting for the others to react to his alcoholic revelation.

“I wonder if my boss is watching this?” Emerl commented as a mug appeared beside him.

Oh she is. I’m keeping her from directly interfering herself but she is watching. In fact she's happily munching on some popcorn right now.

“At least she isn’t making crazy request like inserting a giant rabbit monster while we drink.” Emerl sipped as he felt winded. “At least if we die we don’t get tortue by some dick from a creepypasta verse.” Emerl hics while moving sluggishly.

Slappy looked at him in horror. “NO! What did I just say about giving her ideas!” He shouted before running for cover.

Oh don’t worry the bunny thing is over used… The ground shakes with giant steps! Everyone’s attention was drawn to the giant squirrel monster! Who quickly grabbed the keg away from our heroes and got ready to attack! Also I would still take suggestions from her.

“God dammit Harmony and what’s your name! Well tim-*hic*-e for a good *hic* dash” Emerl yelled as he used spin dash only to be eaten by the squirrel beast. Everyone deadpan by the action. But soon the monster roared in pain and started rampaging in the direction of the rest of the party. It suddenly stopped as it fell as everyone keep hearing the word “stinger” over and over as the robot bust out of the squirrel's back and commented. “Thats why you don’t take my goods ya fox meal piece of crap.” He fell down and began to sleep before a mysterious waterfall landed on him.

“Hey! What the hell and what happen to this thing?” Emerl asked unable to recall being drunk.

It ate you and you cut your way out. I just thought it would be nice to wash the digestive juices before it damaged your body. Also I apparently need to throw out stronger monsters next time.

“Well does anyone have this feeling we are being watched by some spy or jackasses?” Emerl asked before almost forgetting. “Thanks madam narrator, I promise not to squirt you with water.”

Jack finished the ‘drink’ he held speaking in a normal tone. “Well as ‘nice’ as fucked up simulations go, why don’t we get this ‘universe’ rolling? That IS a condition of us getting out right?” He looked up at the sky as if expecting to see someone or thing, his hand giving a mock fingered ‘salute’.

Yes completing the quest will get you back home. Also you’re lucky I’m so nice. It would normally end bad provoking someone with control over the reality you’re in.

“Fear not friends for we can do this! And if we find ourselves in trouble can’t we use tokens to call in more help?” Luna asked.

No they can’t. Everyone will find they don’t have any tokens they got from other displaced. Those are back in their home worlds.

“Well I’m grateful, but when are we going to skip to the main event?” Emerl asked “If anyone ask for more people, I don’t think we need that much help if we have a Buu, Twilight, and good old Slappy right.”

“I’m not going!” Slappy shouted from his hiding place.

Pegasus frowned, “And what about me?! You don’t need those fools, when you have the master of Harmony by your side! I’ll summon my toons and blast anything that threatens to attack us!” He boasted proudly before groaning, “I’ve been spending too much time with Kuirboh, I’ve even begun boasting like he does.”

“Harmony loves the little guy doing the lalalalala voice and dude my boss doesn’t follow you.” Emerl commented. “Besides we need to focus moving forward so we can get home. So let’s move and roll out.”

Yes maybe you guys should get on the wagon. Otherwise it could take forever to get to the evil lair of the dreaded Mr. Nibbles.

“Okay can anyone hotwire the thing to shoot weapons? By the way also I have this feeling to get in now or the narrator will shoot meteors at us.” Emerl exclaimed as he got in the wagon.

Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t do that. I would be much more creative.

“Like what a flood of boiling hot cheese with green onions?” Emerl commented. Earning a glare from Slappy.

Hmmmmm...

By this point Jack had saluted the rest of the party before closing the back of the Wagon’s door, with having flashed a trademarked smirk. “Losers are those who follow the sheep, or don’t think for themselves!” He spoke through a window in the wagon before popping his head back inside likely doing something.

Suddenly the air outside the wagon was filled with a horrible stench as the sound of screams about a horrible monster and the sound of some kind of slime quickly moving across the ground filled the air. Soon everyone heard the sound of sinister sounding classical music.

“I, am, the great mighty poo! And I’m going to throw my shit at you!”

Pegasus groaned, “Oh God no, out of all the villains from Conker why did you have to use him…” Taking out his lyre, he pulled a couple of the strings. “Narrator! How can I summon a toon monster?”

The same way any bard summons something. With your art. Just play a toon like melady. Don't worry if you don't know how to play just think of the toon and the Lyre will guide your fingers for you.

Plucking on the strings, he played the familiar sinister melody. “Toon Cannon Soldier, I summon you!” The lyre began to leak out a pink mist, summoning the robotic toon. Pegasus looked up to the sky, “Quick question, how many toons can I summon?”

Up to five but only one summon per turn so the great mighty Poo would need to attack you before you can summon again unless it's a special summon. Just like the game.

“Can I copy Pegasus’s ability to summon and perform a summon?” Emerl asked with hope

Same powers as in sonic X. Sorry thats the only place I know your character from.

“Crap we either end the turn or sacrifice one of us. I nominate Slappy or a mug.” Emerl declared getting a slap from Slappy

I honestly didn’t think you guys would stay and fight him. He was supposed to be motivation to get going on the quest. Oh well he's getting ready to attack.

Great mighty Poo uses raining stink bomb on Claptrap doing 1000 points of damage.

“Claptrap NO! Well he’s dead and I’m retreating” Emerl jumped into the Wagon with the speed of sound.

Pegasus ran back into the wagon, careful to not step on anything unpleasant. “You could have told us we didn’t have to fight him!” He growled, the Cannon Soldier pushing Pegasus out of the way and stepping into the wagon first before his master.

“Dude that’s cold, he’s your summoner.” Emerl commented before the cannon soldier responds. “Fuck tradition have you smelled that stench!?”

“Is everyone in so we can leave before getting K.O. by literally a giant piece of crud?” Emerl asked as he told the driver to hit it.

Welcome to the tour. On your left you will see the coliseum were brave gladiators and monsters fight once a week for the entertainment of the masses. On your right you can see the city hall with the bubble monument. A fifteen foot statue of Atlas made entirely out of bubble wrap holding up the weight of a giant bubble. And if you will look out the back window you will see a literal tidal wave of waste moving in this direction thankfully slower than the wagen. You will also see in the wave the members of your party left behind. Claptrap waved his arms in a panic as he desperately called for help.

“Oh wow if this wasn’t a dream I would feel bad. Ok so the evil lair is located where?” Emerl commented before a bin with a note attached to it smacked him in the face. ‘Oi respect your comrades and rescue him. from Harmony’ “So anyone got an idea on how to rescue the small robot?” Emerl asked the party

Pegasus played his lyre again, the sinister melody, “I’ll sacrifice my Cannon Soldier to summon my Parrot Dragon!”

The toon soldier gave Pegasus a depressed look, turning towards the others he pulled out a handkerchief and waved goodbye, wiping his tears away. With a bright light the Toon was instantly replaced by a large parrot with dragon like qualities.

“Parrot Dragon, catch that Claptrap and bring him here!” He commanded, the Parrot gave a mock salute and flew towards the machine.

“I’m surprised the Parrot is tolere- wait how did it get a freakin gas mask?” Emerl commented as the Harmonic Master provided an answer.

Pegasus shrugged his shoulders, “Although Toon isn’t in his name, Parrot Dragon is still technically a toon and like most toons he can easily bend reality to his will.” After finishing his short explanation, the dragon like bird crashed into the wagon’s window and dropped the Claptrap onto the ground, chuckling behind his mask. The wagon fills with a stink from the filthy Claptrap.

There is a shower down the hall to the left if you’re waterproof.

“Um narrator not to sound like a brat, but are we there yet?” Emerl asked

“Indeed aunty please hurry this up.” Luna said with a disgusted look on her face.

Oh, alright. The wagon stops in front of a cave entrance with a giant stone statue of a pony sitting in front of it.

Luna quickly jumps out and takes in the sweet air.

“Finally some sweet air!” Emerl exclaimed as he noticed the statue and asked. “Are we really doing an Indy? If we find something is it a permanent keep?” Emerl asked wondering if this is similar to rpg.

The statue then looked down with an emotionless face. “And I was having such a nice dream. You’re not rocks.” She said.

Maud don’t ruin the surprise! Oh well it's too late now. You’re the guardian to the entrance. You’re supposed to stop them from getting through.

“Hey maud, I think I saw a giant Pinkie statue in the mountains when getting here.” Emerl said earning a flick from the stone mare as he got out from a random tree. “Ok, I deserve that one.”

Jack took his time strolling out with his fingers in his ears, listening to Claptrap’s auditable if horrid ‘retelling’ of how it got into it’s ‘everything’. “I wished you hadn’t made it like the sequel, because it’s tone is grating to my senses, which also doesn’t help that there is a ‘Luna’ here in this Simulation as well.” He glanced at said pony critically before rubbing his face with a sigh until he saw what everyone else was looking at. “Don’t tell me, is Celestia one of the ‘bosses’? No, wait. Let me guess a ‘kidnapped princess trapped with the evil whoever’.”

Pegasus smiled at the thought of fighting Celestia, “Oh I don’t know Jack, I honestly wouldn’t mind having a swing at her.”

“I thought fluttershy would be part of this honestly and Pegasus that is technically a giant soldier of stone so any toon monster should be able handle that. ” Emerl said as he returned back to the party as Pegasus stared at the robot. “What I played Yu-Gi-Oh sometimes.” Jack looked at the gizoid with shame.

Pegasus smiled, playing the lyre, he summoned up another toon. “Toon Goblin Attack Force, come on out!”

A cloud of pink mist appeared near Pegasus and the Parrot Dragon, when the mist disappeared a group of five short, chubby goblins appeared and charged at the stone pony.

“Wait don’t destroy the head I feel like taking a damn photo with it!” Emerl yelled as Pegasus ignore the request and they continued to strike.

Jack tuned up the Claptrap before moving behind it with a heavy repeating crossbow equipped, looking over the ‘stone guardian’ their host threw out. “If any of you could use water that will likely be Effective against it’s natural armor! Because rocks crumble to weather and time.”

“Wait like pokemon and science?” Emerl asked

The giant Maud grunted and allowed herself to fall forward onto the toons. When she got up the flattened toons started peeling themselves off the floor.

“Hmmm.” Maud hummed in thought before looking at Pegasus. “Maybe if I smash the summoner instead?” She asked herself in that same dull monotone as she stood up and charged at Pegasus.

Plucking at the strings, he sacrificed his Goblin army, “Toon Summoned Skull, protect your master!” The army of goblins gave a short cry and disappeared, only to be replaced by a blue skull like demon.

The demon cackled madly, putting his thumb in his mouth, he started to inflate himself and eventually grew into a giant. Charging at Maud, he cackled as his claws sparked with electricity.

Jack took the time to fire a couple shots with his heavy repeating crossbow at ‘Stone Guardian’ Maud, with Claptrap being utterly ‘useful’ at the moment giving him a cover bonus and randomly throwing out rock insults. “I truly hope out of anyone present you could do better Luna, because none of us can summon water or weaken it naturally.”

Emerl smirk seeing the plan decided to say. “Hey Luna show this rock a bad rainy day won’t ya.”

Luna smirked and noded as she flew up and started collecting all of the clouds in the area with her magic. Meanwhile Maud and Toon Summon Skull were pushing against each other with neither getting anywhere. Maud’s rock hard body inefficient against the inflated toon’s elasticity and the toon’s electricity useless against her stone body. Frowning a little Maud jumped back causing the toon to fall forward and she tried to run around it to get to it’s summoner.

Emerl using sonic’s speed quickly grabbed pegasus the moment the giant maud guardian got close. “That was a close one so have any tricks of yours mister Rabbit?” Emerl commented as he notice a shine on the ground and stop.

Curious, Pegasus picked up the shining object and examined it, “A trap card!” He looked up at the sky again, “Narrator, how do I use my spells and traps?”

Jack’s attacks attempted to focus on Maud’s neck, to work on making a crack in her form at a possible vital point from his own likely guessing. While as a minor action slapping Claptrap to act in it’s own attack. At least to make him productive in some way besides yelling.

Spells you can throw at the target like a ninja star traps you set face down on the ground like a land mine and make sure it's between you and the attacker.

“Wait why not save the card? I think Luna has this covered.” Emerl commented as the Night princess was ready to let it go as she waited for a signal. Then with a flash the sound of thunder clapping water started pouring from the sky. Maud looked up for a moment before looking around and apparently deciding to focus on an easier target she started charging at the one party member that has remained stationary, Jack.

Twilight chose this moment to reveal her master plan. She blasted at some dirt as the Maud golem ran at Jack. The magical sinkhole tripping the giant golem. When Maud hit the ground several cracks spider webbed across her body and the leg that fell in snapped off. With a grunt Maut lifted herself up off the ground and focused on Twilight and bent down before jumping at her with the intent to crush her but missed as Twilight teleported away at the last moment.

Jack ordered his Claptrap to engage Maud with ‘whatever’ attacks he held, taking the time to try and hit Golem Maud’s back legs to see if one or both could shatter to immobilize this ‘guardian’. “Everything so far is showing me just how ‘nerdy’ we all are except that this is a simulation, but i’m curious ‘disembodied voice’. How ‘long’ would this little trek of ours would take for incompetent players?”

Depends on how bad the players are. Its not a long dungeon.

One of the bolts hit a crack in the left back leg causing a piece to fall off which annoyed the giant. While she was turning around Claptrap was following his orders and moving up on Maud and using greece to slick the ground but Maud saw this and stepped back to avoid it.

“Thats not why I stepped back. Do you see what he’s covered in? I don’t want to touch that.” Maud said in her normal monotone as she stepped further away from Claptrap. Seeing this Twilight smirked, reaching out with her magic she picked up the poop covered machine and began waving it in front of Maud.

“Just let us in or I’ll use him as a paint brush on you.”

Maud looked down with her stone eyes before shrugging. “Fine. But you could have just said please.” Maud said before looking to the sky. “Can I go back to dreaming about rocks again?”

Ya sure go ahead.

She gave a nod as she walked away, the rocks that were once a part of her rolled to her before reattaching and all of the cracks mended shut until she was fully restored and she went to lay down in a giant rock pile.

Wait!” Emerl exclaim as he got a camera out of nowhere took a picture with her before she could lay down as he said. “This will be a keeper. Oh, go ahead.” He turned to the others and said. “I know I didn’t do much so I used sonic’s speed to snatch us some foods. “ He pulled out plenty of food as well some shiny objects. “Pegasus I found a trap and two magic cards.”

Jack just stared at Twilight then at Emerl with a look before saying this carefully. “Twilight, I will simply say that in half the cases I deal with ‘you’. You can be freakishly smart for your own good, or just lucky that a solution falls into your lap. Emerl you likely won’t be able to keep anything you take here if this is a simulation, because nothing is real like the simulations those scammers run.”

“Sometimes being an opportunist is the best solution for dealing with a problem. Being able to adapt keeps one alive on the battle field. A trick Shepard taught me.” Twilight responded looking over the food Emerl brought, “Oh apples, yummy.”

“So narrator will fluttershy be involved and can I scout ahead?” Emerl asked

Your welcome to scout ahead if you like but no I had no plans to add Fluttershy to this. I don’t want to expose her to any violence if I can help it.

“Sweet and you are a hero ma’am.” Emerl stated as he used sonic speed to examine the cave. In the following 5 minutes it was total silence until random explosions were heard and some screams as everyone get prepared while the song never split the party started playing.

Jack simply face palmed, while standing with Luna and Twilight before looking at Pegasus. “He’s pulled every trap or mob at the same time, hasn’t he?” He left the question up in the air while a look crossed Twilight’s face in focus. She levitated the daggers in her magic eyeing the dungeon.

“Hey are you guys trying?” Emerl voiced out

“Why you son of a bitch” grunt one said before burning to death as he let out a scream.

“Come on step it up.”

“Wait Bob Cobbler maybe we should stay together.” grunt 2 advised

“Fuck that! Never let that damned thief out of sight!" random grunt screamed as Emerl stopped.

“Alright guys I feel sorry, but one of my friends wants to say something to you.”

“What, ya dirty little shitstain.”

“Leroy Jenkins!” an enormous explosion shook the cave as Emerl came out with a hoard of treasure. “Sup I’ve found some buried treasure.”

… Wait how did you do that? I thought you couldn't keep track of so many enemies at once even if they were basic thugs?

“Well it was like this I used sonic speed to avoid the traps I trip before meeting the bandits while using Rouge’s sonar to keep track of enemies in the dark so all I did is lure the idiots to their own traps. Remember ma’am I adapt to situations plus I hack myself to use more of sonic, knuckles, and rouges abilities. Besides you should have seen their faces when I used knuckles earth punch to trigger a lava trap though one of them almost got me.” Emerl eye widen as he said. “Crud I forgot to save the princess during the craziness.” Everyone looked at the robot with deadpan as they wonder ‘who forgets the main reason they're there.’

“We thought we were saving that magic machine of the wrapped bubbles?” Luna asked with confusion as she looked around.

“Yeah one of the goons was chatting about sacrificing a princess to activate it even though they could have used the on switch.” Emerl said. “I question goon intelligence.”

“Those fiends! Off to save our sister!” Luna bellowed as she charged into the cave.

“Luna what did we just say about splitting parties!?” Twilight called chasing after the alicorn.

I feel I should remind everyone that though he used the traps well Emerl never disabled any of them.

“Ahh! Crushing walls!” Luna shouted in surprise.

“Damnit Luna!” Twilight grabbed Luna in her magic pulling her away from the trap. “Hey Game Master, this is like Ogres and Oubliettes right? If I’m a rogue roll for me checking the traps!” The chamber echoed with the sound of rolling dice.

Nice you got a natural 20. Though seeing as they’re all active in the first part can’t you just use your eyes?

Twilight’s senses tell her that the walls smashing against each other, lava pit, gas trap, and swinging bladed Pendulum are indeed traps and not illusions that just look like traps.

“Yes they are there I meant for disarm, else I’m going to just start blasting them.” Twilight began tugging at the mechanisms with her magic. Searching for key pieces to disarm them as best she could.

Well then you should have said disable instead of check. Oh well I’ll let you keep the 20 for this.

“Well I apologize for the trouble, but I went off exploring again while you were dealing with the traps.” Emerl said as everyone groaned by Emerl’s declaration. Especially at seeing that he was sliding along the floor on one leg frozen in ice that covered half his body. “Anyway I think I found a mid-boss while Mr. Nibbles was walking past it.” He punched the ice off with knuckle’s skill as he asked. “So any one here a pyromaniac or we have to do this the hard way?”

“Well with Claptrap covered in poop that is pretty flammable, we might be able to use him as a sort of torch?” Twilight offered.

Jack simply looked at the claptrap who looked up to him with a hopeful expression. “If it breaks, I could just fix it up again. So let loose the fire and hold your nose, because burning crap is almost as bad as wet crap.” Jack spoke as he readied himself to follow after them.

Pegasus thought for a bit, trying to remember a Toon that used fire, “Ah of course!” Playing the toon melody, a pink mist gathered around him. “Manga Ryu Ran, come on out!” The mist started to form into the shape of a dragon, when the mist disappeared a tall orange dragon wearing an egg shell stood, chuckling to himself.

“Manga Ryu Ran set the Claptrap on fire!” Pegasus commanded. Taking a deep breath the dragon shot twin flames out of his snout at the machine. The Claptrap instantly burst into flames, causing the mischievous dragon to chuckle as Claptrap started screaming bloody murder and some profanities too as he rolled down the tunnel as fast as he could.

Emerl began chasing the robot as he saw the mini-boss’s field begin to melt. Then he saw the mid-boss trying to destroy the robot with its freez ray but it took a while to hit Claptrap putting out the flames and freezing him to the floor.

“I do not like warmth.” A mechanical sounding monotone, male voice called out as heavy footsteps echoed from the other side. Now everyone can see that the room was completely covered in ice. Even the floor appeared to be a giant block of ice that used to be a pool. Around the room were frozen warriors that looked like they were flash frozen while charging in the mid boss’s direction.

“My mistress put me in her game. She told me to stop you as best I can. So I will...as my name sake would say. Stop you cold.” As the voice's owner stepped into the light everyone could see that he was seven feet tall with a stainless steel covered body. One arm had a mechanical hand with claw like fingers while the other ended in the barrel of a large gun. Over his head was a frosted over crystal dome but they could see a humanoid head shape inside with round glowing red eyes. As he moved ice formed on his armor and broke off with his movements from the intense cold. On several parts of his armor there were diamonds shaped like icicles. As he raised his arm with the cryo gun ice seemed to form over his head into the words. ‘Mr. Freeze’ and a frosty blue health bar appears over his head as the name broke away. He then aimed his arm and fired at the group.

From years of experience, in the fields of science and weird tech. Jack knew to dodge early behind cover from weapons of dubious effect, or risk injury while trying to shoot back at the imitation. “And here I thought some of my Claptraps were incompetent!” Giving out a taunt to see if it’ll buy anyone else who dodged an opening.

“Hey Lulu can you do a beam surprise on this guys while Jack and I distract him.” Emerl asked in a serious tone as he noticed the sad look in the man’s eyes. Emerl used Rouge's flight to dodge as he drill kick the cyborg who bounce it off and attempted to freeze the gizoid. Luckily the Sonic from that series knows how to run on ice as he dodged each attack.

Stopping his attack a moment Mr. Freeze started lightly spraying the ground all over making the ground too uneven for super speed. He then turned to the toon dragon and managed to hit it and encasing it in ice.

“I don’t like warmth… and mistress taught me how to use the ice better.” He said with his monotone before getting hit in the chest with a dark blue magic beam causing him to slide back before stopping himself on one of the jagged spikes of ice sticking out of the ground but Luna teleported behind him and started wailing on him. Soon the icicle shaped diamonds around his armor started charging up before an area around him was suddenly in a dome of freezing magic freezing everything inside except for him. Luna’s eyes looking around while the rest of her was frozen solid. Her horn started to glow but it might take her a little time to melt free.

Twilight kept dodging around the field, looking for an opening to cut the feed on his gun. Emerl decided to spin dash at the cyborg as he was about to shatter Luna completely before charging in with knuckles fist skills to make a neat crack on the head dome which Mr. Freeze quickly reacted to by using his freeze ray and shot Emerl’s right arm. “ You are a machine, you have no need for warmth.” The cyborg said as he shot Emerl’s left leg. Emerl gave a salute finger before being completely frozen as Luna managed to free herself with a shout but gasped and moved in before Freeze could bring his fist down on her frozen teammate and she moved him over next to the toon and put up a barrier to protect them as she started thawing the two out.

“Aunty what's going on? We don’t recognize him as one of yours. Is that the nightmare possessing another of those machines again?” Luna demanded as she worked to defrost her frozen allies.

Close but no. After the nightmare took over that body and used her powers in combination with the mechanical vessel to make herself so much stronger I thought what if I made a custom model for a different incorporeal working for me?

Luna thought about it for a moment before sighing. “The windigo thou recruited is inside that thing isn’t it?” She asked with annoyance.

“I do not like warmth.” Mr. freeze said as he froze and bashed Luna’s shield again and again to break through. Twilight teleported next to her fellow princess reinforcing the shield.

Emerl’s body suddenly darkened as the ice began to break from the sheer negative energy from within. The ice instantly cracked opened as Mr. Freeze noticed a dark atmosphere. When Emerl’s prison broke Mr. Freeze was about to repeat his action and freeze the robot only to find that he disappeared from sight. He looked everywhere to find him but was struck from behind as the dark Gizoid quickly tore the cyborg apart which resulted with Mr. Freeze's dome being smashed open and having both his arms served. Emerl was ready for the kill until divine intervention prevented the tale from going grimdark.

Oh no fair riling him up Harmony. The strain of using dark form weakened the body so he won’t be able to do it again until he returns home. There that should stop that from happening again.

During that time Jack had been thawing out his claptrap, taking the time to make sure no one was really paying attention to him. While keeping said claptrap quiet long enough to help him look for a way deeper while skirting around the battle.

Twilight walked over to the damaged cyborg as a frosty white ghostly pony rose up out of it and flew away before the parts all sank beneath the ice. Where it once was now sat a chest with the word ‘Loot’ written on its lid.

“Darn, I was going to offer it friendship, o’well loot is good too. As always check for traps.” Twilight muttered to herself as she began inspecting the chest for any triggers.

“So what did we get out of this mess?” Emerl asked as he woke up from the divine intervention.

“Well I don’t see any traps, so lets find out.” Twilight used her magic to lift the lid of the chest. And saw two cards inside one magic (Comic hand) and one trap (Mirror force), A boss room key, a shield with a picture of a human head with snakes for hair, and a rocket launcher with two extra ammo for it on a pile of gold coins.

And because of cheating the robot can’t have anything in there and loses the loot he got from all those thugs in the first part.

“Meh, I don’t need it.” Emerl stated as he didn’t care about taking money with him since he is rich at home. ‘I sorta told her about your dimensional copy abilities, so you won’t be getting Rin’s skills this time. Sincerely Harmony. ‘ Now that hurt Emerl as he wanted to add Rin's power to his collection. He folded his arms and grumbled *snitch.*

“So I assume Jack wants the rocket launcher, shall we give the shield to Claptrap and have him tank?” Twilight suggested lifting the objects out of the chest passing them around, pocketing the boss room key, and a small extra hoof of gold coins.

“I’m going to go scout ahead.” Emerl stated as he tried to walk to the next level. As he walked alone up the stairs and down a dark corridor he came to a large, round room that was pitch black. Then a lantern hanging in the middle of the room lit itself all on its own filling the room with light. On the lantern were humanoid shapes that projected shadows on the wall. The shadows then took on lives of their own and started moving around the room at the speed of shadows. Attacking him from all sides.

“Shit I’m getting a witch’s house vibe. I wonder, if they are shadows then either light is a weakness or they depend on it.” Emerl tried to go after the lantern, yet the shadows were inflicting more damage than he can take especially since his body is still weak from the dark transformation. The robot began to take his sword out as he focuses regardless of the pain being inflicted on him. It took only 5 minutes until his eyes glowed white as he tossed the blade directly at the lantern. Thus killing the shadows, yet Emerl knew his body was screwed. At least he helped his team before his death as the song never split the party starts playing again in his mind. “Fuck you Rin.” His vision turned black.

Twilight rounded the corner seeing Emerl lying broken on the floor, panicking she rushed over to him just in time for his body to vanish. Scanning with magic Twilight examined the area around it to find no trace of him.

Jack had followed after Twilight to see what her bout of panic was for, only to arrive in the room with her crouched over nothing with a broken lantern hanging overhead while his Claptrap shrugged. Wheeling over to her as he measuredly walked observing the lantern to speak his mind. “So let me guess, the construct Emerl was here? Or did he get derezzed by whatever boss or trap that was here? Because that’s likely due to our ‘host’ nerfing him and going with a movie trope of ‘going alone’ into the dungeon before we could catch up.” Looking likely for any obvious signs of the robotic hedgehog.

I’ll have you know I changed nothing in this room. It was always going to have the challenge he faced. He just wasn’t suppose to face it alone. That's what happens when you zerg in this kind of game. Perhaps he will learn from this and think things through in future events.

"I can zerg anything yo," Buu said, walking in, "I kinda lost what was going on, I was talking to Screwball." He admitted, popping a cupcake into his mouth.

Jack looked at Buu with a slight frown. “So, ‘I can zerg anything yo’. Seeing how our abilities are either nerfed and/or altered to that of a ‘DnD’ game, how would YOU go about not being able to do as you normally did?” He had taken this time to whack Claptrap yet again over the head to keep him from pawing at his outfit for the rocket launcher using his wrench.

Buu gave him a flat look, "I'm pretty sure I didn't get nerfed that badly."

You haven’t tested yourself yet. You didn’t partake in any of the fights so how can you guess? If you must know I put you at the level of Krillin at the end of Dragon Ball. Not Z, the first one.

"Narrator, I'm going to absorb you when I get out of this," Buu said, his eye twitching in anger.

Oh don’t be that way. It’s all in good fun and it’s not like I striped you of all your power forever. What fun is a game if you’re so OP that you can get through with as much effort as it takes to blink?

Jack just nodded softly before giving out his reply. “Well guessing how upset you are, I'd say you weren’t among us ‘mortals’ but ‘above’ in how things are. Though you should remember to take some pride in where you started and not abuse what your foundation was. The first couple years were rough for me and I had to recall what ‘stupid’ camping book guides the foster system taught us. Though learning how to skin and cook had it’s own issues..” He shivered at remembering that. “Never skin a chaos beast, the insides are disturbing for how it could actually ‘function’.”

"The hell are you even talking about?" Buu asked, looking at him a bit confused.

Jack smiled at Buu speaking conversationally. “My first few years as a ‘Displaced’ as I learned MUCH later by some Undead Lich type I met, but anyways the monsters Discord brought about by his mere presence seeping into the ground or his ilk are disturbing how little sense they made on a biological function. Like a Cymera being some cat, goat and snake combination, did you know they each have a stomach that lined up wrapped around each other before joining at the intestinal tract?” His eyes took on a far away look of horror before continuing. “Also how chaos is literally woven into every inch of the types born? Because that force alone is what keeps them from falling apart into a macabre of exploding/dissolving parts.”

"That's only in your world," Buu said, shrugging his shoulders, "My Discord hates me, he can't hurt me but I can beat his ass in seconds."

My Discord kept trying to get me to join him. For some reason he keeps thinking we’re kindred spirits. I can’t figure out why he would think that though.

“Might have something to do with you being a unique being and bringer of chaos, albeit a bit more tasteful than most of his… Actually is he reformed in this world?” Twilight asked.

Not yet I’m shortly after Luna’s first Nightmare night. And I’ll have you know I can be very orderly! I was the advisor on all things dark magic for Celly and Lulu’s parents and had a large paw in raising them in my world. Want to see their baby pictures?

NAY! NOT THE BABY PICTURES!” Luna bellowed in a panic as she charged into the room waving her forehooves. “Aunty please we beg thee not to do it!"

“I love baby pictures maybe I can come over sometime?” Twilight asked smirking as she looked at Luna.

I don’t see why not. I have your token. And you can try befriending Mr. Freeze like you were going to earlier.

“That's great I could use a windigo ally against the reapers.” Twilight stated with a big smile, ”I’ll also make sure I have enough room on my omni-hoof to save those pictures, I know a few displaced who would love to see them.” Twilight said as Luna slumped over with watery eyes and a look on her face one would expect on a kid waiting for the doctor to give them a shot.

“Oh come on Princess Luna, we are just having some fun.” Twilight placed an arm around the blue mare.

“We would like to see how fun thou would think it is if it were thy baby pictures threatening to be spread throughout the multiverse. This is worse than the time our aunt grew into a giant with that book and showed them off to all of Canterlot during a celebration.” Luna said sadly.

I still think threatening all of them with charges of high treason if they didn’t stop looking at them was uncalled for.

“Well my baby pictures are lost to the void, so that can’t happen, any other pictures wouldn’t be me. Although I see what you mean, I’ll be nice.” Twilight promised after tapping her chin in thought. “So shall we continue?”

“Indeed.” Luna said before she called out to the rest of the party. The toon dragon shivering with an ice pack on his head and a burning thermometer in his mouth before disappearing now that the fight was over. As they walked to the next room Twilight’s ears started ringing.

“Careful, something is wrong.” Twilight stated as she examined the room. The sound of rolling dice filled the air.

Ouch, you rolled a 3.

“You’re not supposed to tell me that… Now I don’t want to move.” Twilight whined staying close to the door.

Well nothing was activated yet you could try looking again. And sorry its been over a millennia since I last Dungeon Mastered.

“Quick claptrap, buddy, run though the room, I’ll cover you.” Twilight ordered as she eyed the room.

Claptrap groaned and held up his shield before charging forward while screaming which turned slightly panicked then muffled when the floor spun upside down and the sound of a distant splash was heard below as well as screaming.

Well he needed a bath anyways and that boiling stuff should wash that crap off. Though now the toons might want to avoid him. What’s down there can actually kill them. I trust the humans are familiar with the movie who framed Roger Rabbit? The dip is not exactly healthy for them.

“No idea,” Twilight mentioned.

“Dip?” Pegasus questioned. “Is that the green stuff that killed those cartoon weasels in the movie?”

Actually they laughed themselves to death. This is the stuff that killed that poor toon shoe and the evil toon Judge Doom at the end. Melts them like soft butter in boiling water.

Pegasus sighed, “Well, so much for having an army of indestructible beings.” He looked up to the sky. “So is there a way for my Toons to not get destroyed by this ‘dip’?”

Yes...They can avoid touching it. Though failing that rubber suits like the stuff dishwashing gloves are made from are good so long as the suits themselves aren't toon items and as long as it’s airtight. But why would you think you had an invincible army? Any displaced resourceful enough can get this stuff from void merchants. And even toon weapons like guns which I think would count towards that toons kill toons rule. Didn’t you know?

Pegasus sighed, “Toons can only be destroyed by other toons, Chaos magic, or by destroying Toon World, and back at my Equestria the only one who could destroy my toons is Discord, and for so long I’ve been used to the idea of my toons being virtually indestructible. Even displace either have a hard time trying to destroy them or just can’t. So I’m still under the belief that they are unbeatable, besides what are the chances of a displaced having an item to kill a toon with them?”

Admittedly pretty slim unless they already knew they were going to fight some and made preparations. I don’t know much about toon physiology. I tried to study your token Pegasus to try and figure out how to make my own toons but the book reacts rather... negatively to that. Anyways back to the problem at paw. Claptrap its trapped in a trap that can kill toons. What are you guys going to do?

He chuckled, imagining the things that Toon World did to her. “Yes the Toon world book does have a mind of it’s own, and the only way you can create your own Toons is if you have a copy of Toon World or Toon Kingdom with you.” Pegasus thought for a moment. “Am I able to summon non toon monsters?”

Jack rubs his forehead hearing about Claptrap though the topic of ‘toons’ and how to deal with him just made him add it to ‘the list’. “Yes, as for claptrap. Being his maker he wouldn’t just ‘miraculously’ appear next to me depending on the distance or would I have to use some rope from the adventurer’s kit to have him climb up it?” He took this time to actually check if he did have a rope in his bag to use. And found a sturdy wire on a small but strong grappling hook in his belt

If you had them in your deck and had the conditions to summon them like sacrifices. And no he won’t reappear its leave him to rot or take the time to save him

“Excellent.” Pegasus smirked, “I always make sure to have some back up monsters in case Toon World was destroyed.” Plucking at the strings a black mist began to appear instead of the normal pink one. “Now, I summon Newdoria!” A demonic creature started to climb out of the mist, his body was covered in spikes.

Jack gave a deadpan look before mumbling about ‘stupid magic users and their magic’, as he pulled the now surprisingly clean sparkling Claptrap from the Dip trap pit. “I’m surprised anything from Equestria wouldn’t be eaten away by this ‘Dip’ substance, what with being told we are in a television show. Though likely this wouldn’t have been considered ‘state sponsored’ or ‘approved’ viewing.” Muttering again darkly now while the claptrap was soon ordered to look for more traps, with a rope tied on for now to keep it from falling into everything fully. One fire trap two electric traps five spring loaded traps that launched him into some more traps later claptrap was on the other side waiting for the others.

Pegasus chuckled at the bot’s misfortune, walking towards the other side, he made sure to stay behind his Newdoria in case any more traps sprung. “Well it seems this ‘Dip’ isn’t too much of a problem as I originally thought.” Pulling some strings, he sent the remaining toons back into the lyre.

Luna gasped. “Nay friend Pegasus. Don’t thou know to never say something is easy when the DM can hear thee?!” She said as she looked around with worry.

Pegasus stiffened, realizing his mistake. “Oops, well let’s just hope she didn’t hear me!” He laughed nervously.

When they got to the end of the hall and Twilight made sure there were no traps on it Luna peaked inside before closing the door. “She heard thee.” She said flatly.

Jack looked over at Pegasus with deep loathing. “You had to speak up when most of your team lacks the ability to fly didn’t you? Because I just HOPE to see you fall first for summoning causality’s WRATH!” He pointed in a similar fashion the evil closet monkey from Family Guy would, before attempting to sprint across the room still connected to Claptrap in case either triggered a trap.

With a deep sigh Luna opened the door and everyone saw that the room had no floor and the pit no bottom. On the room’s ceiling were metal spikes with large surges of electricity shooting across them and there were sprinklers shooting dip all over the place with flying buzzsaw blades flying around the room at a ludicrous speed and over the door was a countdown timer that just dipped below three minutes.

“Aunty we get thy point. Now can we please get a normal room?” Luna begged up to the sky.

Pegasus paled at the condition of the room. “Isn’t this a bit much? I promise never to say somethings easy again.”

Jack just looked at the room, with his hand moving up within his view before slapping it onto his face with a slow downward drag. “Luna, most of us are screwed if we cannot get to the other side unlike you and Twilight…” He said looking at the purple alicorn at the end there, his eyes only to glare at Pegasus with a hand gesture to the next room as if quietly saying. ‘This is your fault!’

Luna gulped before building up as much power as she could into a barrier around herself before charging at the door screaming like a warrior charging into battle and prepped her wings for flight and jumped through...and disappeared into thin air.

“...Twas an illusion! Aunty that wasn’t funny!” Luna’s voice rose up from the door that still appeared to be the insane deathtrap.

Yes it was.

Pegasus sighed in relief, “Thank you, I don’t think I could’ve made it there with my spells and trap cards.”

Jack’s face deadpanned before moving through the doorway, dragging a still panicking Claptrap behind himself who seemed to have been praying to some ‘all factory’ mother. “It’s like one major fun-house, I swear. Or the search for the Holy Grail…” Jack’s voice spoke out through the doorway, following after Luna.

When everyone was through they were in a large room that was empty except for a door guarded by a blue lioness with wings and the head of a unicorn with silver hair that even while sitting was five times Luna’s height.

“Behold!” She shouted as she rose up her forepaws dramatically, summoning fireworks around herself. “To get through this door you must answer three great and powerful riddles!” The party could almost hear crickets chirping. At the deadpan expressions everyone was giving her. Her eye twitched in annoyance but she kept up the act. “First! Trixie can be softer than a pillow, yet hard like a rock. She can hold many lives, yet she takes lives away. Trixie can feel nothing yet can show true rage. What is Trixie?”

Jack sighed looking at the others before talking to them, ignoring Trixie’s presence. “So, any of you lot good at riddles?” While smacking Claptrap on the head with a wrench once more to keep it from coming up with random answers.

“Are you ignoring Trixie?” She asked in annoyance. “You know that if you get a wrong answer Trixie is under orders to eat you.”

Twilight sat down and hummed to herself in deep thaught. “Up until you said getting eaten was the penalty for a wrong answer I was going to say that you’re Trixie.” she said as she continued to think while everyone heard the sound of the narrator laughing, much to Trixie’s annoyance. “Are you the ocean?” Twilight asked which Trixie just sighed in disappointment to. “I’m right aren't I? In the north and south it’s frozen hard but is soft when melted. It holds aquatic life but others drown in it. And it can’t feel because it’s not alive but those sea storms look like rage to me.”

“Yes, yes, you got lucky.” Trixie said down to twilight. “Now lets see… What can fly? what can die? has no wings and never lies. You can look at it though it can’t be seen. To have lots of it will make most green. It doesn't exist and yet it’s real. Your fate it may one day seal?

Twilight got back into her thinking face while a dunce hat with the words ‘Thinking cap’ appeared on her head which she swatted off with her hoof. “Is the answer… time?” Twilight asked which made Trixie’s face scrunch up while she started jumping up and down on her paws, giving off an aggravated and held in scream which caused her cheeks to puff up. like a foal throwing a small temper tantrum but trying to restrain themselves so not to get a time out.

Isn’t she adorable when she gets angry?

Jack appraised the sight before adding onto the narrator’s response. “I’d say a six at best, if she was anthro or human. That could be bumped up in my opinion.” For the first time actually critically looking her over, before giving a slight shrug adding on the end. “Though she likely couldn’t hold a candle to Twilight’s figure if magic adds onto the size and ‘development’ one has.”

Trixie looked down at Jack with hostility but kept glancing up as if she could see if the narrator was watching. She then gave a defeated sigh. “You’re lucky Trixie can’t hurt you unless you give a wrong answer...But Trixie can do this!” She shouted as she quickly grabbed Jack and threw him into a giant trashcan no one noticed on the other side of the room. “Well now if Trixie could just eat Twilight this will be a good day.” Trixie sighed as a book appeared in front of her and she began to read while keeping it away so the party can't see what. On the cover was a picture of a maze in the shape of a fox’s head and the title ‘Rin’s Big Book of Riddles.’

Suddenly a small scroll appeared out of nowhere and hit Trixie on the muzzle. With a confused look she picked it up and read it to herself. “Who is harmony! Show yourself so Trixie can make you eat this scroll!” She shouted as her face turned red with embarrassment.

Harmony your guy was killed by shadows. You shouldn't be messing with the others...Also I wanted to poke fun at her choice of words! Now it’s ruined.

Trixie just snorted up at the narrator’s words before looking down at Twilight. “You only have thirty seconds to answer this one. Otherwise this is the end of the quest for you. What was Trixie’s last meal?” She said with a predatory grin that showed off her sharp, cat like teeth.

Trixie what did I say about che-

“You had a cheese and onion casserole.” Twilight said without hesitation. Cutting off the narrator.

“WHAT!? How did you know!?” Trixie demanded.

“Lets just say you’re giving off something great and powerful.” Twilight said as she covered her nose with her hoof as Trixie’s breath washed over her.

Trixie looked like she was going to explode… And then she did. In her place was another loot chest but smaller. After checking it they found a strange silver coin with Trixie’s face on it as well as a glowing sword that radiated darkness and a glowing, golden apple.

Pegasus looked at the golden apple as if he saw a ghost, “It can’t be...can it?” Walking towards the apple, he examined the fruit closely. “It’s just like the ones from her garden…..” When he reached down and picked it up it glowed brightly and when it stopped he was holding a magic card. “Golden Apple. Discard one card from your hand to the graveyard to increase one player’s or monster’s health by 1000 life points or return one monster or player from the graveyard with half health.”

Jack had taken that moment to stand beside Pegasus again, a frown firmly plastered on his face while his Claptrap waved. Though looking to have freed of the ‘large trashcan’, he exhaled slowly before asking. “Golden fruit of ‘knowledge’ from the bible made to damn those who thumb at God?” He seemed apprehensive about ‘magical’ gifts.

Think Greek actually.

He looked up at the sky before asking aloud. “So, any ‘hints’ regarding what we’ll face next since the resident einstein got us passing grades?” He asked hopefully while eyeing Luna with a blank expression, or stoic before shifting it towards somewhere else.

“I think I know.” Twilight said as she took the boss key she got from the fight with Mr. Freeze and held it up to the door. The key slowed as it pulled itself from her magical grasp and inserted itself into the keyhole. With a resounding click the door opened revealing a shroud of darkness. “End game” Twilight said as she looked inside.

Jack regarded the opened door with that previous look before looking up to the sky speaking aloud. “If we get through this and I find out that you’re the freak show in the sky with all those eyes always watching me, I will have so many empty fucks to give you.” Before briskly kicking Claptrap through the doorway and brazenly stepped through saluting Twilight as a boy scout would.

Looking at the image of the Golden Apple one last time, Pegasus stored it in his pocket and walked through the door, not paying much attention to where they were going. “Eris….”

The others followed while Luna hummed a happy tune. When they got inside they found what appeared to be a dark temple. And sitting on one side of the altar was Mr. Nibbles at normal size but shriveled up as he held a large sheet of bubble wrap and was popping the bubbles one at a time while sitting on the other side in a frilly pink dress and shining golden tiara was the white pony sacrifice who was also popping the bubbles on the other side of the sheet with their hooves. But this was not Princess Celestia. What the party saw when the sacrifical princess turned to look at them was Shining Armor.

“About time you guys showed up.” Shining said in annoyance as he continued to pop the bubbles.

Jack squinted at the sight, a full moment passed until his fingers clicked as Discord would have done. Though the action was in remembering, something quite morbid. “Hey aren’t you the guy I crippled with multiple gunshots in my universe? Only to hear of you getting some ‘magic’ enhancement graphs or ‘armor’ since your wife begged me to spare your life and be my personal servant for ten years? That’s two sentences combined for the two of ‘you’ by the way, for reasons.”

Shining looked Jack up and down. “I don’t think so. You’re scrawny and don’t move with any discipline. And I don’t detect any magic in you. There is no way I would lose to you.” Shiny dismissed but looked at Jack with disgust for such a thing.

Mr.Nibbles Looked up at the party before snarling then looking up.”Forget it. I’m not wasting my time with such worthless rodents. Especially over something as idiotic as...This!” Mr. Nibbles shouted angrily as he held up the sheet of bubble wrap.

Remember Trixie’s suggestion to have you neutered?

Mr. Nibbles pailed at the memory. “I retract my previous statement.”

Good boy.

Mr. Nibbles gave a feral grin at the party. “At least there is one part of this game that I can enjoy. Oh minions!”

At his call the sound of hoof falls echoed from the tunnel in the back. The first one that came out was a chicken wearing sunglasses with a small sword on his back. Shortly after that the next minion to come out was…

“How did I let myself get talked into this.” Celestia said as she strode out in red armor with a fire pattern and a flaming greatsword on her back.

Because you love me. And it will be excellent combat training.

Mr. Nibbles snorted and pushed a button on the wall activating four fountains in each corner that ran with a familiar green substance.

“...Bwahahahahahaha!” Luna laughed at her sister's expense and lost her balance and fell to the floor.

“First Luna kept shooting me in the… kept shooting me while we played Mario Cart and now this from my own aunt. Both of you had better remember this because I will.” Celestia said with a twitching eyebrow.

Jack’s first reaction to seeing Celestia, was simply to turn and look at his fellow party members before hiding behind Luna pointing at her sister. “I am not going to deal with crazy horse there, she’s worse than that assistant Lyra and her hobby of ‘human studies’ as one of my employees. Also that slight twitching face she’d do if another female of any sort got near me, what’s the word the japanese use for crazy violent stalker girl who loves you?” He asked that last part in question, trying to recall what he was meaning.

Celestia just raised an eyebrow at Jack. “Don’t worry. I think I can restrain myself.” She said in that deadpan tone. But then she saw the displaced Twilight. “Twilight what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be having your therapy session with Dr. Wolf right now? I don’t think you should be playing this game with all these displaced considering you chopped a large chunk of the last one’s leg off with a bone saw to see how it works.” Celestia said with some concern.

"Different twilight," Buu said, casually floating around, "Also thanks for continuing the story without me, I mean geez," he said snorting, crossing his arms.

You were there for all the challenges you should have done something if you wanted to so bad.

"No, I was waiting for you guys to message my author, guys writing on a phone for God’s sake. This is why multi-author works are a pain in the ass." Buu mumbled, glaring up at the narrator.

Jack looks at Buu in a strange way, from his current ‘safe’ place behind Luna for the moment before carefully looking around again. “I’m trapped in some, fucked up magic book again?! How?! First it was that crotchety Starswirl, now whoever!”

Was wondering how long it would take someone to figure it out. Yes you’re trapped in a book. You see I’m extremely skilled in making dark or cursed artifacts which include this book. I got displaced as a villainous character and my body produces dark magic like a unicorn produces the normal kind. It comes with the benefit of being immune to its corrupting effects but being only able to use darkness comes with its share of issues. Like a fanatic group of self proclaimed heroes trying to kill me no matter how much evidence that I’m not evil pops up!...Sorry I got on a tangent there.

"Ouch, sucks ass." Buu commented, nibbling on a cupcake, "Want one??" He asked, offering one to Celestia.

“Oh, thank you.” Celestia said graciously as she accepted the cupcake

Jack kept looking towards her while quietly speaking to Luna. “Keep your eye on her, she’ll likely flip out and kill someone any moment now. Doubly so since this is some Book story and she’s a villain mob.” His eyes looked to the Chicken suspiciously as well, seeming to be in thought on how it’s moving and reaction. “That chicken seems to remind me of someone, or a meme.”

His name is Cluck Norris. Don’t be fooled by the fact that he is a chicken he is one of my more dangerous minions. I often send him on solo missions in places more dangerous than this quest appears to be.

"So...can we keep going?" Buu asked, looking around, "I need to get home before Beerus blows up the planet."

Don’t worry. I wouldn't risk lives for this game. When you return it will be like you were just taking a short nap. Not much time will have passed at all.

“Regardless I think we should conclude this game.” Celestia agreed as she daintily dabbed her lips with a napkin after her cupcake. Mr. Nibbles reached under the table and pulled out a can before popping it open and chugging the contents and setting it down revealing it to be a Red Bull can. Everyone watched as he grew in size and muscle until he looked like he did after he absorbed the magic from Twilight in the show. only with a pair of tiny wings on his back.

Buu just watched, raising an eyebrow.

Pegasus stared at the giant sized Tirek with a glare, “Well, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tirek using this form, although the wings are something that my Tirek didn’t have.” Taking out the Golden Apple card from his pocket, he looked back up at the sky. “Hey, can I use this to revive a fallen party member?”

Yes you can actually.

“Then I’ll use my Golden Apple to revive our fallen party member; Emerl!” Pegasus declared as the card glowed. It rose into the air and disintegrated as its light rose up and gathered into a ball.

A big hole appeared in the sky right where the light had stopped as Emerl was falling flailing his arms before he remembers rouge’s flight that he began to descend by flapping his arms in sync. His armor still looked damaged but he was still functioning fine. He looked at the team with a glare. “Why did you summon me back now? My boss will be bitchy without skittles.” Everyone pointed behind him as he notice the centaur. “Oh! The wings equal to the size of his privates and how did you guys let this happen?” There was a sound of rolling dice then Emerl suddenly felt his third eye opening as a rush of power and skills. His body began moving hyperactively like Pinky Pie with a sugar rush. Emerl asked in a fast pace. >> “Holy shit! I’m filled with so much power I can’t stop moving or talking fast.” Everyone had to question the robot’s behavior.

"Heh, feels like me after absorbing someone," Buu commented with a small smirk.

Emerl rushed at the centaur at high speed as he punched it with an explosive impact. The centaur stood his ground as he retaliates with a magic blast from between his horns. But all he hit was a blur. The centaur was confused as the robot was ontop of him asking. “Your wings shows your pride or the amount of sex you had in life?” For the next few moments, Emerl unleashes a barrage of fast explosive hits breaking the Centaur's horns, his ribs and tearing off a wing. However, Emerl’s third eye suddenly closes when he threw the last punch. Both fighters stare at the new occurrence as Emerl sheepishly smiles and laughs. “So we call it even?” He received a fist to the face launching him through several walls. He screamed out. “Why!”

“That tin can is going to die slowly.” Mr. Nibbles said before his attention was drawn to Buu. “What are you saying?”

Buu got into a stance, cupping his hands together. "Ka...me...ha...me...ha!" He shouted, aiming at Mr. Nibbles face, unleashing a massive blast of ki. Mr. Nibbles screamed in pain as he lifted his hand to protect his face as the attack was pushing him back against the wall that was starting to crack under the pressure.

“What are you two waiting for!? Attack!” Mr. Nibbles shouted causing Cluck Norris and Celestia to charge in. Cluck moved in on Twilight who attacked with blast after blast of magic but missed every shot. When Cluck moved in he drew his blade with his beak and ran past her. She was confused until all of her weapons and tools split in half with a clean cut.

Celestia drew her flaming sword and challenged. “So who wants to fall by my blade first?”

Pegasus smirked, his Newdoria standing protectively in front of him, “Well pardon me, but the only one who will be falling today is you. Newdoria attack!” The large demon charged at Celestia, swiping his large claws at her. Celestia looked at the demon impassively as she readied herself. When the demon made its attack Celestia sidestepped at the last moment and cut deeply setting the monster on fire. A screen showing its attack and defence showed up over its head and its defence points dropped from the attack.

“My aunt has been giving me special training to get me back into fighting shape. After the training inside of that horrible Ninja Gaiden game that monster is just too bulky and slow.” Celestia said matter of factly.

"Buu motherfucker!" Buu shouted, wrapping himself around her, his body spreading over her. "Absorption time!" Celestia shouted in surprise and tried pushing out with her telekinesis but the elastic nature of Buu’s body made it difficult to keep him from touching her and impossible to break off. In a last ditch effort she managed to teleport out but looked at Buu with wide eyes.

“Well, I’m certainly not dropping my guard around you again.” She said warily before Mr. Nibbles threw a massive boulder that used to be a part of the wall at Buu. Buu used vanishing beam, blowing it up. He smirked, cracking his neck.

"Can't stop absorption Celly," he said, powering himself up.

Emerl got up as he ask the narrator. “Do I still have my recovery skills?”

Need a healing item or spell cast on you. Knights just don't have that skill I’m afraid.

Buu flew at Celestia, throwing a punch at her face. She quickly raised a shield but it broke under the pressure and went through with only slightly less force and launched her back and through the wall creating a perfect Celestia shaped hole. Buu left a part of his fist against her face, which started to spread over her again, quickly going for her horn.

“Wa NO! Let” There was a moment of silence. “Go!.... BUCK!” This time Celestia’s voice was disembodied like the narrator’s.

Celly! Language!

“Sorry aunty.” Celestia’s voice said sadly as a pink blob shot out of the Celestia shaped hole in the wall and collided with Buu’s chest and sank in like mixing a piece of putty back with a larger piece. Buu returned to normal, though Celestia's regalia appeared on him.

"Well that was something I never thought I'd do..." Buu commented, poking his crown.

“So that makes you buulestia or what?” Emerl asked as he tries to help twilight with Cluck Norris only to get almost killed by his beak. “Ow, how strong is this chicken and how am I alive?” Only to hear a dice roll. There was a sound of metal hitting the ground as both of his arms fell off though no other damage was done. ”Harmony, anything you could legally do to help?” Emerl only receive a direction note from his boss as he went out of the fight for a moment. When he return he opened his chest body to reveal a jar of worms and a bag of popcorn as he yelled out. “Hey ya great cock come and get me!” Emerl hoped the dice roll is in his favor for delaying the chicken. He heard a dice as he began running while yelling at twilight. “Beat the tar out of the gerbil!” Unfortunately the dice weren't with him and all he was doing was running away while the others fought. Twilight groaned as she struggled to get up but then she felt the tiny feet of a chicken on her back and turned to see that Cluck was about to run her head through when the sounds of dice filled the air. And somehow managed to stab Mr. Nibbles in the left hind leg getting a grunt of annoyance from the boss. Cluck cocked his head in confusion and looked up at a picture of a red, twenty sided dice floating over his head with a ‘1’ inside it.

“BAWK! ba ba bawak!” Cluck said indignantly as subtitles appeared over his head. ‘Cluck Norris doesn't roll ones!’

Mr. Nibbles just rolled his eyes before moving into attack Pegasus. His fist raised to crush him.

Pulling on the Lyre’s strings, a pink mist surrounded him, “I’ll sacrifice Newdoria, in order to summon; Toon Summon Skull!” The mist disappeared and in it’s place was a familiar blue skull like demon. “Toon Summon Skull attack!” Cackling madly, the Toon tackled Tirek, his body covered in electricity. Mr. Nibbles shouted in pain as he charged faster and grabbed onto the toon which unfortunately for him just gave him a stronger shock. With an enraged shout he headbutted the toon summon skull in the chest. His one horn running the toon through, When Mr. Nibbles pushed back and smirked expecting the toon to fall dead but it quickly fell to confusion as the toon started acting out an exaggerated death scene before falling over...Then jumping up and pulling a bandaid out of nowhere and placing it over the hole then blowing a raspberry at Mr. Nibbles.

“Oh great. Its an even uglier version of Discord.” Mr. Nibbles deadpanned before punching the toon across the room. Just before it could fall into the fountain full of Dip it screeched to a halt making the sound of a boat whistle combined with a scream as it’s eyes popped out of it’s head in horror at the fountain and it ran through the air back to Pegasus. Mr. Nibbles raised an eyebrow at this before smirking. “Interesting reaction. What would happen if I busted the pipes and filled the room with that stuff?” He asked as he turned and started running toward one of the fountains.

Before he could get to the fountain a kick hit him in the johns and he falls down groaning as he stare at the disarmed robot with pure fury. Emerl asked. “I thought you were going to kill me slowly and here you are messing with toons? I think you need a personal twilight app, but you seem too chubby and ugly to get a good mare so how about a mule app?” Emerl squirted the worms and popcorn from his chest to further the rage.

Mr. Nibbles was very old and would normally not fall for taunting but after the armless robot spoke the sound of dice rolled and a golden twenty sided dice appeared over his head with a ‘20’ in it and he felt the overwhelming need to punch the robot into scrap metal. With a mighty uppercut he sent the robot flying three meters with a slight dent.

A bad roll for damage Mr. Nibbles. Sorry.

“Is that all you got?” Emerl got up with sparks gushing out of his head as he continued his taunting knowing he can die by two hits as he attempted to dodge the incoming punches . Emerl hopes Pegasus could destroy the dip or summon Relinquish as Mr. Nibbles remembers he has bloody magic which he raises his hand to hold Emerl in place similar to the force.

Pegasus began to play a tune, a tune that was different than all the other ones as it was much darker and a blue mist started to gather around him, “I’ll sacrifice my Toon Skull, and unleash Relinquished!” A green card flew from his pocket and into the mist. The blue mist began to grow and form into a large hideous, one eyed demon. “Relinquished, absorb Mr. Nibbles!” The demon let out a small groan and charged towards the centaur, the small opening in his stomach expanding. Turning to see the incoming, one eyed monstrosity he turned and threw Emerl into the open mouth and braced for whatever happens.

Putting his two large wings in front of him as if it was a shield, a familiar robot appeared, attached to the Relinquished’s wings. Rushing towards Mr. Nibbles again, the demon tried to claw at him, ignoring Emerl’s protest. Mr. Nibbles grunted in pain but grabbed the monster and charged at a fountain and dunked it in.

“Well that was anticlimactic.” He said with a grin.

I wouldn’t get cocky. Your health bar is low and I think it’s summoner has something important to tell you.

Raising an eyebrow Mr. Nibbles turned away from the fountain and looked at Pegasus questioningly.

Pegasus chuckled, “You see Mr. Nibbles, the ‘Dip’ only works on my Toon monsters,” He pointed at the fountain. “And my Relinquished isn’t a toon monster, he’s just a ritual demon.” A large blue claw shot out of the fountain and grabbed the centaur, floating out of the fountain the Relinquished’s claw began to glow, using the energy he’s absorbing from Emerl, he started to claw at Mr. Nibbles. Though Mr. Nibbles tried to reach behind himself and pull the demon off his form was too bulky so he started bucking at it with his hind legs and from the dropping defence points and Mr. Nibbles’s heath bar it looked close. Just before it dropped completely Mr. Nibbles managed to knock Relinquished back to ‘0’ turning him back to normal. But before he could finish the job he froze as the rest of his life bar disappeared. He slowly turned and saw a softly panting Twilight had snuck up on him and thrusted the pointy half of one of her cut in half daggers into his back. With a groan Mr. Nibbles disintegrated.

Well that was fun. But the fight could have lasted longer if someone was helping.

Cluck Norris was standing at the alter pecking at the bubble wrap to pop them before looking up and clucking in annoyance. Once again the subtitles appeared over his head. ‘Cluck norris does not roll ones!’. After that he went back to pecking at the bubbles while mumbling to himself getting new subtitles. ‘This stuff is addictive.’

...Right. Well I guess you guys win. Congrats.

“Wow, this was fun. So can anyone heal my body be-” Emerl’s body fell from the assault it went through.

Pegasus stared at his fallen comrade, “Well, does anyone have any healing items?” He asked, looking around the group.

Luna looked through the bag of loot before shaking her head.

Like a good neighbor! State Farm is there!

With those words Emerl’s body suddenly was back to 100%. “Thank you Rin! I’m going to make you some ice cream after this.” Emerl declared to the narrator.

No problem. Now I guess you all want to go home. So I say goodnight to all and good morning.


I closed the book ending the powerful dream magic and severing the connection to the tokens and activating it’s scribing magic as it shifted and created a new book with the title ‘The Quest for the Bubble Wrap of Popping!’ with a picture of all of the party charging into battle against a snarling Mr. Nibbles as he held up a giant roll of bubble wrap. “And they all lived happily ever after...Well at least until I decide to write a sequel.” I then smile down. “So did you enjoy your bedtime story?” Vinyl noded sleepily as she snuggled next to Octavia who was looking at me funny.

“That was the strangest story I ever heard. It almost sounded like you were talking with the characters in that book.” Octavia said with a cocked eyebrow.

“It did sound that way didn’t it?” I asked with a look of pure innocence.

“And Princess Celestia who was sleeping on a cot over there until her character died? Then started talking to the book as well?” She asked.

“Look I read you a bedtime story. Is it helping you sleep or not?” I asked with a deadpan. Octavia looked around the coffin she was now expected to sleep in.

“No.” She answered matter of factly.

“...Luna.”

“We’re on it.” Luna said as she climbed out of her cot and forced Octavia into pleasant dreams.

“I’m afraid it will take her some time to get used to sleeping in a coffin.” I say with sadness before magically returning my book to the toy box with the rest of my toys and walked out of the room. I think I have some gifts to send as a good hostess should.


Buu woke from his sleep and stretched but when he opened his eyes he looked up… and up at the biggest cake he had ever seen… Well biggest in real life. Written on it in chocolate icing were the words ‘For Buu. Good game!’

"Screwball! Daddy got diner!" He shouted, magicking up a knife and fork, starting to eat with a huge grin.


Jack grumbled and turned over, his eyes opened to see a flawless diamond bust in a perfect likeness of himself. Next to it was a note that when he tried to grab it jumped up and folded itself into a small origami anthro fox and started talking to him with the voice of the narrator.

“I figured this would be something you like...Also do something about that claptrap refusing to sell anything to me and accusing me of things I never did for no reason! Anyways enjoy the gift.” It then burst into blue flames and disappeared.

He looked at where the talking paper fox was with narrowed eyes, his gaze shifting to the side with a calm ‘not creepy at all’ standing F.A.U.S.T. smiling down at him as he laid out on his bed before pointing at her saying this. “Just make sure it doesn’t do anything funny, if it doesn’t have the claptrap who spoke to her work on cleaning duty in Everfree Point.” Before closing his eyes, and grumbling while ignoring a certain black alicorn whose eyes were glowing slits at the gift holding him possessively.


Twilight woke with a start from her bed. She looked around and found the book of riddles that Trixie had been looking through. When she looked inside she saw that the inside of the cover had pictures of her friend and loved ones as well as one of her and her adventuring party as they were just starting out.

Tears rolled from her eyes as she remembered her world, the picture one of the greatest gifts any displaced had given her. She chuckled a little at the picture of her new friends, she hoped she could visit them all some time.

Garres walked in the door, seeing her crying, “ What happened?”

“Good dream.” Twilight answered.


Pegasus woke and stretched before he noticed a present on the floor next to his bed. When he picked it up the card attached to it folded itself into an origami fox and spoke with the voice of the narrator.

“I heard what you said in your token and I took your words to heart but let me share my philosophy. There is no perfect. To bring all under one banner and freeze everything may stop war but I would see it as a prison. And as a master with necromancy I can safely say most prefer death. I know I asked the dead. Anyways with friendship and understanding I don’t think it would be needed. And a show of kindness can make a big difference for the better. I hope you will take that to heart as well.” With the message done it vanished in a blue flame. When Pegasus opened the box he found a magic card. The Golden Apple. Discard one card from your hand to the graveyard to give 1000 life points to the chosen player or special summon one monster from any graveyard with half its defence points in defence position on their owner's field.

Pegasus stared at the card and gave a small smile. “Thank you….” His smile became a bit more forced after thinking about her words, “But I have already tried to win them over with kindness, and she payed the price for my foolishness. I know now that the ponies can’t be reasoned with, or at least the ponies of my world. But thank you for your advice….” He looked at the Golden Apple design in his new card “...Eris..”, He pulled out his deck and added the card into his deck. Turning towards the other side of the room he saw his student, Starlight, snoring in her sleep. “...I’ll let you sleep a little longer, we have a big day of studying and magic training ahead of us tomorrow.”


Emerl woke with a snort and looked up to see two presents and a note. When he reached for it the note quickly folded itself into an origami fox and spoke to him. "You have a good heart but be more careful not to take to much weight onto your shoulders. The larger box is for Simba. Harmony told me he would like it.” When Emerl looked up he saw that the lion had already torn into his present and pulled out a book with the title ‘Adept Shadowmancy.’ “The second one is for you. I hope you like it.” The paper fox then burst into flames but burned nothing but itself not even leaving ash. When he opened his present he found a cake in the shape of a bandaid and the words ‘Get well soon’.

Emerl only smiled by the kitsune advice as he ask. “Yo Simba want to share the cake with me.” The shadow demon lion cub gave a nod. “Sure Big bro, that lady was pretty. I wonder if-” He had a playful bonk on the head as Emerl said. “She is older than you and you should find people your own age.” Simba gave an angry, yet adorable glare as Emerl only shook his head. “Hey if you don’t want to be friendzoned by a crush you should thank me. Now let’s enjoy the cake as bros.” After a few moment of cake eating, Emerl notice a note from Harmony as he opened it.

‘Hey Emerl



You remembered that you have to serve Rin for nearly a week so I want you to morph into tails and stay that way as you serve her, okay. By the way, I got you a butler suit so you better act like sebastian from black butler or else.



From Tikal ‘Knuckles’ Echidna’ aka ‘Harmony’ aka Master Emerald

Emerl only sweatdrop knowing she was serious. /Well you have become a slave to another one. I wonder if that makes you a whore?/ {Now listen you demon he is just honoring a commitment.} /A translation to slavery. Anyway, maybe a song will cheer you./ Emerl heard his corrupted half laugh when he began hearing the song of his ‘first death’ as the second voice laugh at their host’s misfortune {haha Sir Alan, I have to agree you did went on alone like a knave.} ‘Oh, shut it Sukai and Sin if I can split us up the first experience is my foot up your ass.’ Emerl began remembering his past mistakes. ‘I wonder if Rin could help with my other problems?’ He wrapped the note and through it in the trash as he morphed into a mobian fox with two tails and put on the Sebastian suit. “Simba feel like coming.” Simba nods eager to meet the kitsune mistress again as Emerl focus on Rin’s Tree of Harmony or his token and teleport to either one. An earth pony with rainbow swirling mane and a lavender coat came out of her hiding spot and spoke. “I hope Emerl can deal with my harmonic bitchy sister if he arrives to her place. Anyway I want to thank Playful Fox for having Scales of Harmony..” a dimensional portal opened as a piece of paper hit her in the head. She opened it and read as it had bold letters. “Stop breaking the dang wall and end it! From Emerl.” Harmony narrowed her eyes as she sigh. “Thank you and I hope this was a good experience. May you leave a comment below and happy reading everyone!!! twilight smile” She waved her hoof as everything fades to black.

An Unexpected Promotion. Part 1

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(Location - ?????)

In a well lit conference room with fine marble walls, a beautiful chandelier and a large well made solid oak round table sat a group of mismatched individuals of almost every sentient species on Equis. The massive table was crowded with every chair occupied save for one.

"This is a disaster!" An elderly unicorn yelled as he stamped his hoof onto his newspaper. "That upstart Hunter was way out of bounds."

A Minotaur furrowed his brow at the old pony's words. "For trying to cleans the world of a powerful evil?"

"No the way he went about it. We have worked in the shadows for generations successfully! Now I can understand the attack at the plaice. It was a small team of specialist and everything was done to make sure to keep the organization a secret. This monster is bad enough for that risk. But an all out attack at Ponyville!? Not only did he get himself killed but half of the forces under his control were captured. Worse is despite all of the training to resist torture this creature still managed to extract information from them. We were forced to abandon all of the strongholds we had that were connected to his in the information network and we have been exposed to the world and they see us as terrorist! We are now being hunted by the ones we protect because they think we're evil!" The old unicorn shouted angrily.

"She is the anti-human!" A female's voice rose up. High priestess Heartstrings was always so devout to the teachings of Strong Heart.

"Please settle down miss Heartstrings. We can all agree that she needs to be destroyed. That's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to decide what to do next." A pegasus stallion in a nice business suit calmly replied.

"Well regardless it's already done. So we might as well finish it by going all out. Once the princesses are free they will clear our names." A female griffin said in a bored sounding tone.

"No! That is not our way! Why in my day-" The old unicorn started before getting cut off.

"Everyone still thought that the world revolved around the sun." The female griffin deadpanned. Getting several laughs from around the table. "But like I said what's done is done. This isn't the same situation we all grew up with. So we need to do things differently to take this thing out. So one army isn't enough? Fine, several of us pulling together can take her out. Besides she got ousted too. Now everyone will know she is a creature of darkness. That will make it harder for her to work or move her forces with everypony watching."

"Hunter tried solving this problem with force and see where it got him? She would just summon the princesses again. As for the world knowing about her darkness it might not matter. Yes we will get support from many but many will side with this monster and even welcome her armies as protectors after the proclamation the princesses gave." The elder Unicorn countered which earned him confused looks from the others at the table. The old pony just face hoofed at this. "Was I the only one to read beyond what the papers said about us?" He asked. He got his answer from all of them pulling out their newspapers. Their confused faces quickly turned to shock and paled.

"She isn't." The sole diamond dog at the table said as he stared at the paper in shock.

"She is." The old pony answered.

"Can she even do this?" A minotaur asked in bewilderment.

"Controls the two strongest alicorns." The old pony deadpanned causing everyone else to groan.


(In the dungeon.)


"It is finished!" I shouted excitedly. Ever since the battle outside of ponyville I have been confined to my dungeon. Or at least I was told to stay in my dungeon. I had hoped that all of the ponies hiding when the fighting started meant that that nopony would see it but alas that was a long shot and a lost bet. A colt even snuck up and took pictures. So now the girls are dealing with the press and councils so I can't come out of hiding until they give the all clear. That was weeks ago. It has however given me plenty of time to work. Built a custom warjack for my windigo which I call Mr. Freeze because seven minutes is too long to pronounce any name from start to finish. After using it to test and make sure that mana batteries were compatible I sent Ax a package with schematics and some free samples of batteries for his warjacks.

Then I finally got around to reverse engineering the want it need it spell. After which I had Twilight's doll sent back to her. Speaking of dolls I decided that what happens to Trixie when exposed to the magic of poison joke would make a great replacement for the chicken spell. And the great thing about poison joke is it's great for creating new spells if given a chance to study the effects it has on it's victims. And since the effects are permanent until given the cure it's easy to have the spells learned from them be permanent too if you're willing to use the amount of energy to do it. Trixie didn't like the idea but the promise of a cozy bonus next pay day and two weeks vacation time as well as not letting anyone see her like that and she was rolling in those blue flowers. Two full days of uninterrupted study and I now have a dollification spell.

Then I got to work on this project. I made a private workshop and planted the knowledge of the runes I needed carved in every inch of the room and tools into my imps and put them to work carving them while I took a diamond the size of my head and started filling it with life force from the many weeds that grow like crazy in this forest. The process of preparing the room with all twenty of my imps even with them at level 10 took a little over a week and in that time I collected a lot of life force. Then I got to work creating this sword. Another week of work creating a magic sword in a room that can only be used to create this very weapon. A bone metal sword, not dragon bone, those things are a pain to enchant. But that of various magical creatures from this forest with sapphire grounded up and mixed into the blade.

I went simple in a big way with this one. The first and easiest conjuration spell a unicorn learns as a child in Celestia's school is conjure water. The first combo enchantment is conjure water mixed with a force spell to create water guns to play with. I did this to make a sword with that enchantment combo to the extreme. The idea is to conjure a wave to push back enemies that get too close. The added bonus of being able to throw a lot of water around is it will make a great combo with my thunderbolt spell. The sword looked like a katana. Its bone white handle decorated with pictures of sea ponies swimming around playfully while the blade glowed sea blue with it's magic.

Not being able to wait to test it out I create a portal to the badlands and pop out in a canyon. With a manic grin I swing my new sword and activate its magic and my jaw drops. The sword didn't just make a wave, it made a tidal wave. I watch as a massive wall of water moved away from me as it gradually got shorter as it grew wider, giving it a wider area of effect. I can't help myself as I fall onto my back and started laughing like a loon and kissing my new sword over and over.

"Oh you beautiful baby! Mama loves you so much. Oh what am I going to name you? You need a name worthy of you!" Happily and in a completely non creepy way I start lovingly stroking the sword as I giggled and tried to think of a name for my baby. But my joy was quickly replaced with confusion at the sound of a lot of water getting closer and I turn to see that the wave had hit the canyon walls and though no longer a tidal wave was still taller than me and coming fast. "Oh son of a -" That was as far as I got before I made an involuntary attempt to surf without a surfboard.


(Back at the dungeon.)


When I come back up through the portal in my dungeon with my new sword on my back I find Celly and Lulu were waiting for me and obviously weren't happy I left. I responded to their looks by shaking like a dog getting them nice and wet while my fur poofs up. That did not get them to laugh.

"Where have you been? We told you to stay here." Celestia asked.

"Sorry but I had to test my new sword. It was deep in the badlands no ponies saw me I assure you." I reply to which she just sighs and shakes her head.

"We don't have time for this. Come, we need to get you ready for your test and not much time to do it." Celestia said as she and Luna turned and walked down the hall while using their magic to dry themselves.

"...Test?" I ask before gulping as I was picked up in a golden aura and had a collar fastened around my neck that I can instantly tell has the enchantment for magic suppression rings and my sword was taken from me and tossed into my room. "My baby!" I cried as I was carried along behind them and a newspaper enveloped in a blue light floated in front of me. I take it in my own paws and read it in the hopes of finding out what's going on. I can't help but smile as I see the picture of Hunter right as he got hit with the bass cannon and the look on his face. But all that story was about was what we already learned about the Goodly Heroes minus some info we wanted to keep close to their chests till we could use it so I moved to the next story. Hmm lets see. Undead and monsters yada yada... Oh joy Celly admitted I'm a dark magic user to the world. At least she told them I'm immune...wait. "When concerns were voiced princess Celestia gave her assurance that her aunt, Lady Rin was a good and loving individual and pointed out that any element of magic be they good or bad doesn't hold any sway over their mistresses that reign over their realms as the ascended... You told them I was a goddess?!" I exclaimed as I drop the paper. The girls cringed as they looked back at me.

"Please aunty nopony uses that word anymore. Now we say princess. As for the question itself... It was the only way to convince them all that the darkness isn't controlling you." Celestia said with a forced smile. Despite everything Celestia hates dark magic and I know if not for the severity of the situation with the displaced she would be doing everything she could to convince me to stop and just live with them at the palace. But by announcing to the world that I'm the goddess of darkness she has made that hope of hers imposable. I just sigh as I can't stay mad at her as she would never have done that if she wasn't sure there was no other way...wait princess...

"You're making me a princess?I" I said with wide eyes as I started flailing around in a panic. "Nooo! Don't make me do it!"

"Tis law that those who ascend are to be given such a role unless deemed unfit to rule. We and our sister have given our vote of confidence so..." Luna said and trailed off letting me fill in the blanks as we walked into the portal leading to the palace. I am not happy about this. The last thing I need right now is more responsibilities. And even worse... This is going to cut into my play time!


I can only guess at some of the thoughts going through the heads of the ponies we pass in the palace halls on their new potential princess from their faces as Celestia and Luna carry me kicking and screaming. "Don't make me do it! Don't make me do it! Don't make me do it! I don't want to be a princess! I would have to go to boring meeting and go to boring parties to listen to snooty people who corner me and try to be smart and funny while failing miserably at both!" I whine.

"You get used to it." Celestia said with her trademark motherly smile as she took me into their private beauty salon and she had me magically bound with a paralysis spell which like in Skyrim had me frozen like a statue forcing me to watch helplessly as four mares came up and started washing me all over with expensive shampoos and conditioners and I do mean all over. I need an adult!

When my bath was over I was pulled out by Celestia before she dumped a lot of water on me to rinse me off then attacked me with towels once more transforming me into a puff ball then setting me down for those mares to return and spray me all over with something before they start brushing my fur with the speed and precision of a ninja.

I soon felt my body regain it's mobility but unfortunately Celestia saw this as well and before I could do anything I find my paws and butt magically glued to the floor. "Why are you doing this to me!?" I cried before my eyes widened in horror as I saw one of those beauty salon ponies coming at me with a basket full of makeup. When she lifted the lipstick up to my face I lock my lips tightly and backed my head up and turned up and to the side. When she tried to adjust to my new position I moved it again, turning it to face the other way. I must look like a infant refusing to eat the way I avoided that lipstick.

Suddenly my vision is filled with a golden light and I'm forced to face forward and pucker up allowing the mare to apply the makeup. "Because there is no other option aunty. And because you love me." She said that last part in the same way I said it to her when playing with those displaced using the book I created to read them bedtime stories when they were little using those I didn't like as characters. Touchy.

When all of the makeup was applied and my head released I quickly turned to her and attacked her with the only thing I could with my magic bound and glued to the floor. Eat puppy pout! Celestia was forced to step back against the full force of my attack.

"Ney sister! Thou must resist! Remember this doth be for her own good." Luna said causing Celestia to avert her eyes. Curses! Foiled again.

When all of that was done I was freed from the floor and lifted once more into the air and I see Celestia's evil henchmares coming at me with a dress that looks like it was made for business.

"Oh no you don't!" I say to them as I flail like I never failed before. My tails whipping around as I tried to make it impossible for them to dress me. Celestia just sighed before holding me still in her magic again and allowing the beauty ponies to work.

"Honestly aunty you're acting like a foal being taken to get a shot." Celestia sighed earning a giggle from Luna and the ponies dressing me up. When the deed was done and I was given movement again I immediately chomped down on one of the sleeves and tried to rip it only to find it holding strong. Spider silk! Not ready to give up I instead try to use the sleeve to wipe the makeup off of my face but when I look at the sleeve it's clean. I look up and see that I'm facing a mirror and the makeup isn't even smudged. I don't even have one ruffle in my fur from the fight I put up.

"All of the beauty care products used are magic and won't come off until their magic runs out." Celestia said as she levitated a pill in front of my face before forcing my mouth open and tossing it into the very back forcing me to swallow on reflex. "And that will make any gas you pass smell like a field of roses." She said with a smile as she carried me back out into the hall as she started talking about the things I could expect when they test me while I continued to uselessly kick and scream. Whatever those ponies used on me was some potent stuff because when I got to the courtroom I wasn't even sweaty. I was now sitting between Celestia and Luna being restrained in Celestia's magic as three ponies sat in needlessly tall seats looking down at us.

"This hearing has been called to... um. Why is Lady Rin wearing a muzzle?" The pony in the middle asked in confusion at seeing Celestia's brilliant plan to get me to stop screaming strapped to my face.

"She was just so excited she couldn't stop talking about it and she asked me to help keep her calm." Celestia lied causing me to try to scream in outrage. "See? Excited." Celestia said with a smile.

"I...see." The stallion in the middle said with a confused look on his face but he decided not to question it further and just cleared his throat and continued. "As I was saying this hearing was called to determine if Lady Rin is truly an ascended being and to take a crown. Let us begin the tests by measuring the level of her magical power." He said as a machine was carted up to me and they pulled out a cone attached to it with some wires. The pony with the cone just stood there for a moment with a confused look on his face. Obviously not sure where to place it on a being with no horn before shrugging and sticking it on my nose through the hole in my muzzle. Turning on the machine we all watched as the numbers grew.

"Well, that's not only enough to qualify. It's a new record." The one on the left said with surprise. I guess eating the magic if two major villains and several animals dose the body good.

"Very well." The middle pony said as they wrote something down one some papers. "Now let's test her abili-" Whatever he was going to have me test next was interrupted by the sound of fighting outside. When we all turned to look at the door a guard came flying in and crashing into the wall on the other side of the room. That was soon followed by a hulking human that stood like a giant marching in wearing red clothes and boots. On his head was a large red helmet. My eyes widened with recognition at seeing this muscle bound giant as he casually brushed off some guards who were attempting to hold him back. He scanned the room before looking at me.

"So you're the fluff ball that made an alliance with old metal face. I have two pieces of business with you." He said as he pointed his meaty finger at me. "First a message from a certain group of vault hunters. What you did to Jack...Funny." He said as he gave a thumbs up. "And the second bit of business. You made a bad choice making friends with Doom. So now I'm going to crush your head like a grape." He announced with a grin causing the guards in the room and those attracted by the sound of the destruction the man made to attack. He just laughed as he walked forward despite being blasted by every unicorn guard in the room. Arrows fired by the others bounced harmlessly off of his body.

Seeing that the royal guard were unable to even slow him down Celestia and Luna turned and blasted him with as much power as they felt safe to unleash with so many mortal ponies so close to them. Unable to run as the man came from the only exit. With my body free I desperately fought with my muzzle which was thankfully not magically sealed so I was able to get it off. With my mouth free I turned to Celestia.

"Celestia get this collar off of me!" I shout as I try to pull the thing off myself but she just keeps blasting the man. "Celestia!" I shout and she stops her attack long enough to take the magic suppressor off before continuing her attack but I know it's useless against him. I rack my brain to think of the best plan to deal with this new threat as I watch him walking as he held his hands out to keep the attacks from hitting him in the face.
"You runts think you can stop me? Nothing stops me! Don't you know who I am?" He asked as he leaned down like a football player getting ready to charge forward. "I'm the Juggernaut bitches!"

An Unexpected Promotion. Part 2

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"Just blasting him won't work, he's invulnerable! Don't let him get close to you!" I shout out. The girls kept blasting him but they obviously heard me because now the blasts were creating magic chains, trying to bind the Juggernaut but when he kicked forward with the force to break the ground where he stood leaving a hole to the room below the chains went snap without offering any resistance and fell to the floor where they swiftly evaporated. The girls were surprised by this but before Juggernaut could reach them some of the unicorn guards grabbed the girls in their telekinetic grip. With a surprised squeak Luna was pulled to the left and out of the way while Celestia just stood there while eight unicorn guards were struggling to lift her off the ground.


Thankfully her surprised stupor didn't last long and she was able to jump out of the way herself before getting run over. Fortunately he was focused on me so he didn't bother with attacking the others. Unfortunately he was focused on me and I did not want to take the term squishy wizard literally. Unfortunately with an unstoppable giant moving at me like a train, that didn't give me a lot of time to strategize so I went with the first idea that came to mind. Contrary to what some might think the Juggernaut is not slow. As he was quickly closing in I blasted the floor right in front of him. I didn't even make a spell it was just a blast of dark magic. Regardless it worked and the ground crumbled under his weight and he fell through to the next floor down, then the next and continued to fall through.


I know I haven't won. Only got myself out from being cornered. From what I recall from my human years of geekness he is completely invulnerable to harm. He doesn't need to sleep, eat, drink, or breath. I think I also remember something about him having a healing factor which is completely redundant with the invulnerable thing. He also has super strength so I better get down there soon because he could just rampage around and destabilize the mountain and bring the city crashing down if he can't reach me.


I take a moment to think of what I can do. As I recall he is vulnerable to an extent to telepathic and magical attacks to his mind but neither will get through as long as he has that helmet on. And I'm guessing that if magic can't get through it then it can't grab it which means that it would need to be unlatched from the rest of his getup and removed manually. Throwing skeletons at him would just be wasting them and I don't want to send any brawlers into battle with him. After a quick run through I pick my team and send the needed information to their minds so they are ready. I turn to Celly and Lulu as they move up to me.


"No brawlers. If you bring anyone they need to be able to attack and avoid attacks over anything else. Any hit this guy will dish out is a one hit kill." I warn them which they nod too. Celestia glides down alone but Luna grabs some of her night guards before descending herself. I jump onto her back and ride down with her when she moved past me. When we reached the bottom we're in those crystal caves under the city. We land next to Celestia who was looking over the edge were Juggy was climbing back up.


"Well it's time to see if wearing these weights did any good." Celestia said as she took off her gold necklace and let it drop creating a small crater where it landed and throwing up a mushroom cloud of dust. She gave a happy sigh as she kicked off her golden boots or whatever she calls them, which each crashes with the force of a fired cannon ball. The guards that Luna brought along looked shocked at the sight for a moment before shaking themselves out of it and flying high and blending into the shadows before shooting at Juggy with crossbows. Perhaps I should have been more detailed with what they should be able to do. Oh well I'll just have to hope they don't get in the way.

I create a portal and watch as my chosen team rises up. Four ponies come out first. Trixie, Vinyl, Octavia and Berry punch who was wearing a saddle bag with two large jugs. Both of which she took in each hoof, raising one to her mouth and started chugging. Last to bounce out was Bouncy.

"...Aunty we think that one is drunk. Send her back and bring in somepony else." Luna said when she saw Berry.

"Trust me, the drunk boxing is strong with this one. Not even Cluck Norris has been able to land a hit in sparring with her. Besides I'm not sending her into his reach." I assure her. Before I could say anything more there was a flash and the three ponies in those tall chairs were with us. "What are you three doing here?" I ask them.

"You walked out on the test." One of them answered in an accusatory voice like I was a student that just decided to walk out on an important exam. My eye twitches at his response.

"...Look we don't have time for this. Big bad guy down there. So just go hide somewhere while we work." I tell them as I brush them away with my tails. "Alright you know what to do." I tell my troops before a make a mental link with Celestia and Luna and tried to send everything I knew about him and about his helmet. With that done I looked over and saw that he was almost up here so I used a spell from the book I got from Ax and took in a deep breath before letting it all out in a thick, dark green fog.

"Keep your bad breath to yourself!" Juggernaut complained as he pulled himself out of the smoke screen only to see no one around. "Where did everybody go?" He asked aloud before his attention was grabbed by colorful explosions going off around his head.

"Beware bucket head! For you have sealed your fate by being so arrogant as to face the might of the great and powerful Trixie!"

Juggernaut turned to see the blue unicorn wearing a cape and wizards hat with a star and moon pattern sitting at the edge of the cliff . With an annoyed grunt he walked forward.

"How stupid do you think I am? You want me to charge at you so you can dodge and I run straight off the edge? There is no way I'm falling for tha-" Juggernaut said but his words cut off when his foot fell through the ground and he fell forward passing right through Trixie. "Oh come on!" He shouted in annoyance as he rolled all the way back down to where he started. The image of Trixie shimmered and both the ground and Trixie evaporated revealing that the ledge was several hooves closer then he had thought. Behind a large rock the real Trixie peeked her head out. Her brow wet with sweat as she panted softly. Yet she couldn't help but smile. She had never before made an illusion that was capable of fooling anypony or in this case anybody and was rather pleased with herself that all of the training Rin put her through and all the studying was paying off. Though she still had work to do as she was tired from that one spell and would need a moment's rest to be able to do it again so she ducked her head back into hiding.

Down below Juggernaut lifted himself up and growls. "No one makes a fool of me! Nobody!" He shouted in rage before getting blasted in the chest again. Turning he saw Luna blasting away at him again but before he could move something moved in fast and pushed something into his helmet through the mouth hole. Moving quickly he grabbed for Vinyl but she was ably to get out of his reach with her vampire speed. Juggernaut got to his feet and was about to go after Luna but stopped when the thing in his helmet started jumping around all over the place. Looking around inside his helmet he saw that it was some kind of blue ball with something rainbow colored marked on it but it was bouncing around too fast to see what and the ball's speed was only increasing as time went on.

"That's just annoying." He grumbled before another speedster moved in, jumped on his back and ran off faster than he could react having him grab empty air and I could see two of the latches on the back of his helmet were undone. It came again and once more he made a grab but all he got were a few strands of electric blue hair and once more two latches were undone. The Juggernaut just looked around and found no one. Even Luna was gone.

"Alright, you want to play hide and seek? Fine!" He shouted as he charged around the place at random, smashing his way through the city's foundations. I bite back a curse knowing we need to work fast on this. As Juggernaut was charging a small gourd container landed in his path and busted open. The concoction inside foaming up when exposed to the air into a large foamy cloud of bubbles on the floor. When he stepped in the stuff he slipped and fell forward causing the ground to shake. With their vampire speed Vinyl and Octavia moved in again and released the side front latches on both sides and moved away before the downed giant could even get up to grab them. When he was back on his feet he gave a frustrated shout before reaching the front of his helmet but not the back.

"Come out and face me cowards!" He shouted in rage before going all out ape shit and ripping large gems out of the wall and throwing them up in the direction that the bubbly attack of slippery when wet but as they went flying Berry just stumbled by without getting hit before moving away from the ledge and out of sight. He then ran over to a wall and spread his arms like he was going to give a hug and jammed his fingers into the stone and pulling back to get a huge boulder the size of a building before lifting it over his head and throwing it. The huge piece of stone crashed through stalactites, stalagmites and walls crushing everything in its path as it rolled along. He then repeated the process and sent another bolder rolling in another direction.

"Ahhh!" A familiar voice rang out from the direction of the second attack.

"No! 61452326283561723535262351272623712623763537256372523732635276152383723893692072! Why do the good looking die young!?" another voice rang out. Hearing this Juggernaut ran over to the commotion before they could get away. Not wasting time Celestia and Luna flew out of hiding and started blasting at his feet in the hopes of tripping him up and at his helmet in the hopes of knocking it off. No! That was the scream of Cadence!...or Shining! But probably the first one because it's down here and that other voice was definitely a changeling screaming a changeling name. No choice now. She won't be in any condition to defend herself.

Casting a quick illusion spell I jump out from my hiding spot. All around me were illusionary copies of me moving in every way I do. "Hey Juggy! Looking for me?" I shout out as I turn around and start waving my butt tauntingly which my illusions mimicked making it sound like a small army of me. "Na na, na na boo boo!" My voiced echoed with the fakes. Turning my head to look behind me I see him skid to a stop and turn around. When he sees me he turns and comes barreling towards me. I can see that Celestia has flown down into the new hole to help Cadence and I can just barely see Luna moving through the shadows close to the cave's ceiling, not attacking yet but keeping an eye on things in case she needs to jump in and save me.

Facing forward I gun it down the path with my would be murderer in hot pursuit. Every now and again I look behind me and make sure that he doesn't lose sight of me as I lead him to what I hope is an exit down the mountain while being careful to keep the fakes from running into any obstacles and dispersing. This however becomes a pointless activity when several of them break down and small holes pepper the walls in front of me. I look back again just in time to see him grab a large gem in his giant hand and tightly squeeze it, breaking it into razor sharp shards before throwing them and cutting down several more as they fly through the air like a shot from a shotgun Hmmm. Didn't know he could do that...


"SHIT!" I cry in alarm as I veer to the right and down another path and out of his line of sight. My illusions forgotten as they crash into the surrounding walls and shatter soundlessly like glass before evaporating into nothingness. But now that he knows where I am he had no intention of losing me again and I soon heard him charging at me once more and the sound of a particularly large hunk of crystal breaking as I look back and see him holding a large thin emerald that he held over his head like a spear. Luckily this tunnel kept curving to the right so he couldn't keep a good line of sight to throw the thing.

"Hold still!" He demanded in an angry shout. To which I gave a calm and witty retort.

"No!" After saying that I used the invisibility spell on myself just as I was coming to the exit to see that I just ran in a big circle and came out in the large cavern I just escaped from. When I try turned the corner though I felt a strong pain on my stomach that made me lose my footing and fall on my face and roll onto my back. When I looked down at the source of my pain my eyes widened at what I saw and I was instantly thankful I landed on my head and back instead of my stomach. It seems that the Juggernaut took a guess and used the relatively small space of the tunnel we were in a moment ago and launched his spear at me and cut me across the belly just deep enough to open me up and for my intestines to be hanging out.

"Aunty!" Luna cried in alarm as she started blasting the Juggernaut from behind but he was ignoring her as he calmly walked towards me. Celestia having finished helping Cadence flew to my aid but it was taking too long. I'm in a lot of pain but nowhere near the level of being forcefully sucked into the void. With effort I summon an item I use to test new traps in the hopes that it will slow him down long enough.

"It is on like Donkey Kong!" I say as I point the golden banana at him and a portal opens up over his head dropping the perverted ape on his back, catching my would be murderer off guard as he was covered with whipped cream by the ape hanging on to his back with his feet like Juggy was a surfboard while using his other hand to spank his own bottom while making horrible noises.

"Oh man oh man this is bad!" I heard Vinyl say next to me making me give a glance to see her and Octavia looking over me with worry.

"Calm down you two." I say through clenched teeth as I got to work on using my magic to carefully hold my wound open and clean my intestines of anything that got on them and carefully folding them back inside of my body, using the way they bend naturally to guide me when placing them.

"Calm down?! How do you expect us to calm down when your guts are hanging out!?" Octavia asked with wide eyes as Celestia came close enough to see that I was working on myself so turned to help Luna and Kong delay my attacker. Cadence soon joined as well coming over too me with wide eyes and turning green at the sight.

"If you throw up on or in me I am going to put a curse on you." I tell her as I work causing her to back away as my intestines slip back into place with a sickening slimy slurping sound and I glow in a golden sparkly light as I use the heal spell on myself before following up with death spell once my pain subsided to kill any microorganisms that got inside me for health reasons. I got up and see that Octavia and Cadence had run off to empty their own guts while Vinyl just looked at me with a straight face.

"That...was awesome." She said plainly. I just shook my head and looked back just in time to see the Juggernaut grab DK's leg and smash him into a wall with the sound of bones breaking and then the ape vanished back to his world through a portal. The now whipped cream covered Juggernaut was bending over and trying to scoop the cream out of his helmet through the holes. This is it. I think to myself. Between the attacks and bouncy going nuts in his helmet he won't be able to hear anyone approaching and the whipped cream is blocking what little vision he had.

"Celestia come here." I called to her to stop her from attacking for Vinyl's safety before nodding to the vampire. "Now while he can't see. The helmet." I whisper to her to which she just nods and moves over with vampire speed and with both fore hooves undid two latched causing Juggy to tense. Before she could get the last two however Juggernaut swung his hands out sending her flying into me and we went flying a good ways back. I looked back to see him refasten the two latches Vinyl just unlatched and I came to a conclusion. This isn't working. The only minion I have that could stand up to the Juggernaut is...No Horny may very well be worse than the Juggernaut. At least old bucket head only wants to kill me. This calls for a new plan

"Retreat!" I call out getting the attention of everyone as I used my hand to get my minions out of there and safely back in my dungeon and running like mad to something I saw earlier. Celestia and Luna flew after me and Cadence after them and Juggernaut screamed in rage as he worked faster to clear his vision when he heard me say that.

"Wait for us!" A pony cried out causing me to look back at the judge ponies that followed me down here which I completely forgot about. Celestia picked them up in her magic and carried them to I found what I was looking for. I turned back to see Juggernaut running after us and I quickly summoned my new sword and thrust forward creating a jet of water that wasn't even slowing him down.

"Thanks for washing that stuff off me." Juggernaut said in a taunting voice. "You didn't think splashing me with a little water was going to stop me did you?"

"No, and who said I was doing this to stop you?" I asked causing him to take a closer look now that the cream was washed away from his eyes to see that we were now seated in a mine cart and the water pressure was pushing us forward.

"No you don't!" He shouted as he started pushing himself to move faster. Through our cart had much greater speed Juggernaut was able to move in a strait line instead of needing to follow a ridiculously designed set of tracks so he was able to keep up. While I was using my sword as a rocket engine the head judge pony was crawling under me and rubbing my tummy which I responded too by growling menacingly scaring him into retreating to the other side of the cart. Apparently they took this as me telling them not to get fresh because now the female of the trio was under me and poking and rubbing my stomach which just causes me to groan in frustration. We soon found the end of the tracks as it bent upwards and just ended causing the cart to fly up from the speed we were going causing us to fly over a pit and out through the mouth of the cave which opened out on the side of the mountain resulting in us dropping quite a distance. I cringe at the judge ponies screaming when I was grabbed in Luna's magic and the trio in Celestia's as the alicorns took flight, letting the cart crash to the land below. We were soon followed by Juggernaut who jumped out without looking and was now screaming a wide variety of profanities as he plummeted downwards.

“Take us down. I need to take the fight outside to keep the mountain from taking any more damage than needed. Now I need to summon some help.” I say aloud and Luna flies me lower. I use my powers to bring me a token and quickly send the message. “I need help fighting the Juggernaut. Please come quickly.” When I look at the token my eyes widened in surprise. I could have sworn I grabbed another Token but I was now holding Ax’s Token. Woops. Ax isn’t the best choice for this. He’s a caster like me and like me I don’t think he has any minions that would work against this guy. I thought. But before I could send the message that I grabbed his token by mistake a large portal opened up in the sky.

That's when a large form fell from the sky and lands into the large lake that made a huge wave of water and slowly lifts itself from out of the water, it looked like a dragon covered in scale like armor. I saw the head was encased in some kind of shell and by the look of it didn’t have any eyes. Thats when the mouth opens showing off a second row of teeth as smoke slowly falls out of it mouth. The dragon lifted it's head to the sky and roared so loud that I think all of canterlot windows shattered. The sound alone uprooted some trees around the lake.

“That doth be a good one!” Luna said approvingly. “The royal canterlot voice is strong with this one.” I was confused at first then came to the conclusion that this might be a new recruit of Ax.

The dragon slowly turns it’s head at us then snarled as it slowly walked out of the lake. As blue flames licked out at the corners of it mouth. Thats when I saw the blue glow rush up it's neck!

“He doth be on our side right?” Luna asked nervously as I raised the energy eating barrier around us but before the dragon could do anything it’s mouth snapped shut and it gave a surprised grunt as it jerked back and started sliding backwards in a circle on the ground. I look and see the Juggernaut had grabbed him by the tail and was swinging him around before throwing the dragon at us forcing Luna to take evasive action.

The dragon used it's wings to try and slow itself as it crashed into the ground. The dragon then growled as it stretched it's large wings then took off into the air. It then fired off a blue fireball at the Juggernaut. That set everything around him on fire.

“Hey! Get back down here you stupid lizard! I want to use you as a weapon again!” Juggernaut shouted with annoyance that all enemies were up in the air now,

You worm! You dare call me a lizard! I am Hellbringer! I AM DEATH ITSELF!” Roared the dragon as it let loos more fire over the Juggernaut turning everything around it into ash until a large boulder that the Juggernaut ripped out of the ground went flying into his mouth clogging the dragon’s throat.

“Oh I’m shaking. The scariest thing about you little gecko is the smell of your breath.” Juggernaut taunted as he ran over to some trees to use as more projectiles. The dragon then swallowed the large rock, it's neck was making odd sounds before something red hot was dripping out of it jaws. Before spitting molten rock back at him. Juggernaut had grabbed a tree and was about to throw it when he saw the loogy of death flying at him. Reacting quickly he dropped the tree and grabbed the massive, molten rock only getting pushed back a short distance before throwing it back.

“So you want to play dodge ball? Fine with me.” Juggernaut shouted. The dragon just snorted as the armour around it's head snaps shut. It then flew low like an eagle running down a rabbit. The Juggernaut just gave a laugh at this and did his signature charge forward ready to collide with the dragon until it pulled sharply up and smacked the end of its tail into the side of his back but the dragon was a larger target and the Juggernaut was able to grab his tail again and much to the dragons surprise his momentum was stopped by the much smaller being and was swung around again before once more being used as a projectile to attack me once more forcing Luna to flap like crazy to get out of the way.

The dragon however used its wings this time to get more control and just fly past us both heading for Celestia. “I Smell pray… I smell… CELESTIA!” The dragon roars this time in rage as it landed then makes its way over to Celestia.

“Oh dear.” Celestia said as she passed the ponies in her magical grasp to Cadence before moving away from everypony else and away from the mountain to minimize the damage. The dragon just kept walking showing no care for anything or one around it as far as the dragon cared Celestia was the only one it saw… Strange seeing as it had no eyes. He even ignored it when Juggernaut took advantage of the fact that he was on the ground and jumped onto his tail and ran up his back. When the Juggernaut reached his wings he grabbed one and pulled. With an almighty pop and a tare the wing came off.

“That will keep you on the ground.” The Juggernaut said as he threw the wing off to the side. The dragon head then lunged around grabbed him in it jaws before trying to throw the Juggernaut away but the Juggernaut had a firm grip on the giant teeth and kicked against the lower jaw taking two of the teeth with him as he fell and threw them at me as he dropped. Both were evaded but one tore through the barrier disabling it.

The dragon then slammed its large claw on top of him before pulling it up and did it again then hit him with its other claw, it seem to be hitting him over and over again before the dragon then breaths fire on him one more time. Once it left the area a smoking crater the dragon looked down at the hole of smoking earth to see a dirty Juggernaut who jumped out and grabbed one of the dragons fingers swinging him around as a weapon again and breaking the bone in the finger while he was at it.

As we dodge again I can tell that Luna was getting tired. Now that he was wingless I think that dragon lost a lot of danger points so I shout out to him. “You’re wasting your time with those attacks. The Juggernaut has been imbued with power from a full fledged god and is invulnerable. You aren't even causing him pain. The only way to hurt him is an attack to his mind and his helmet needs to be removed to do that!”

I then heard a snap as the dragon went flying into the woods and landed on it feet. With one of it hands missing a finger. “I seeeeee…” The dragon hissed before breathing out a cloud of ash that covered everything.

“Trying to hide? I’ll find you lizard and you will make a nice hammer to smash my enemies!” Juggernaut called out as he charged around in the smoke looking for the massive dragon. Only to not find it, how something that big can go missing I have no idea.

My thoughts were interrupted as Luna gave a frightened squeak then flew back as boulders and trees went flying everywhere.

“Damn it! How are we going to get his helmet off when he’s rampaging around in that thick smoke?!” I say in aggravation as we move further away from the storm of projectiles. Though I think I can tell where that dragon went now based on places that the projectiles were not flying out like there was a wall blocking their path.

That when I hear a yell of surprise from the Juggernaut followed by ground shaking then nothing. “Damn lizard! Stop hiding and face me!”

“He is invulnerable but his clothes aren’t! Just pretty close to it! If you can pull that helmet off we can attack his mind and end this!” I shout into the cloud causing Juggernaut to curse and run out of the smoke holding his helmet in both hands.

“Like Hell I’m letting you take my helmet!” He shouted angrily. That when a bellow of smoke flows over him again and another yell. “Stop doing that!” The Juggernaut shouted as he ran out again. I use this time to create a portal and bring in Mr. Freeze.

“Slip him up!” I ordered causing Freeze to use his ice beam to freeze the ground in the Juggernaut’s path causing him to slip and slide forcing him to take his hands off his helmet in an attempt to stay on his feet as he destroyed every obstacle in his path as he slid along. The dragon then jumped out and bit into the helmet and pulled back while the Juggernaut kept sliding forward and the two forces pulling in both directions was enough for the remaining latches to give and the helmet popped off.

“Noooo!” Juggernaut shouted as he stomped his right foot into the ground to stop himself and tried to turn around to get his helmet back but I didn’t intend to give him the chance and obviously neither did the dragon. The dragon then ate the helmet and looked down at them all.

“Now attack his mind with everything you got! I shouted out as I and the alicorns made a telepathic connection with the Juggernaut and went full force against his mind.

You have a small penis…” The dragon said bluntly at the Juggernaut.

The Juggernaut screamed in pain as he clutched his head and started fumbling around until he slipped on the ice and started writhing in pain until he lost consciousness.

Now can we kill him?” The large dragon asked as it was drooling at the mouth.

“So long as he has the power given to him by the god Cyttorak he is unkillable and only that god or one stronger can take that from him without the artifact he used to get it.” I answer.

The dragon hissed at this and looks around. “This is not the weaklings world is it.” The dragon asked as it looked around. “Tell me are there more for me to fight.” The dragon then went off to look for it missing wing.

“No this is a different world. And I certainly hope not. The Juggernaut is pretty high up there of opponents though still far from the most powerful beings out there.” I say as I look him over to see what he will do.

The dragon then found its wing on the floor and started to eat it...Ok wasn’t expecting that. Once it was done the muscles on the missing wing start to bulge then a new wing shot out dripping off what looks like blood. “I can only do that once, I will make sure not to have my wings taken from me.” Said the dragon as it slowly looks at me.

“...I could have reattached it. I am at a master level of necromancy including its medicinal uses like mending flesh and bones.” I say with an anime sweat drop.

The Dragon hissed at me after saying that. “I am not as weak as Asphyxious, he may use your help but not I. I am… I was… What am I? Hellbringer or Everblight? I can’t tell anymore.” The dragon said slowly as it start to move from side to side. “It time for me to go back, look after the fool he needs the help.

The dragon body starts to turn to ash and break apart. The wind blowing away its body leaving behind, Asphyxious?! Asphyxious just drops to the ground as if out cold in his human form.

“...We are confused.” Luna said as she looked down at the unconscious Ax.

“Join the club.” I say as I look down at him. I see that he is not missing a finger. When I was set down I walked over to him and started poking him in the face to get no reaction. I then leaned in and whispered into his ear. “Ax….There are clowns in your bed.”

“No Dox… I said you can’t be a part of my Hoard… No put your clothes back on…” Asphyxious mumbled as he lay on the ground.

“Hmmmm... Hey look Jack is taking your hoard and running away!” I shout out.

Asphyxious then shot up and yelled in rage. “I’ll kill him! Where is that bastard I’ll gut him like a fish!” He then pulled out his cutlass as he looks around at everyone. “I said where is he!!!”

“Sorry about that little lie but you weren't waking up. Something strange was going on with you.” I tell him. Asphyxious blinked at me as he looked around.

“What the hell? Where is Dox and the others? Where is Sister and Faust? Why am I here… Rin, who summoned you here?” He asked mostly confused.

“Other way around. I summoned you. Only instead of you a massive dragon came out of the portal calling himself Hellbringer. After we defeated the Juggernaut together he referred to himself as someone else. He then ate his wing that the Juggernaut tore off in the fight to regrow it, told me to look after you because you would need it then turned to ash leaving your unconscious body.” I answer.

Asphyxious just gave me this far off look as he sat down on the floor. “Hellbringer… I didn’t think he would take control of my body like that… Wait, if I’m still me then…” He trails off after saying that.

I was about to inquire further but I was interrupted by rapidly flapping wings. “Princesses! You’re needed in Canterlot! The city is being invaded!” A pegasus guard shouted out.

“The changelings! They’re being led by a queen named Chrysalis! She intends to conquer Equestria and take the ponies love by force! I know she monologued about it for hours.” Cadence said.

“When you were freed by the Juggernaut’s rampage she must have learned about it from a guard through the hive mind and rushed her plans when she realized the jig was up!” I said as I was realizing what was happening.

I heard laughing at this as I look at Asphyxious he had this… Wild look in his eye. “Is it just her or is there someone else for me to fight.” He asked looking at the floor.

“There is an army of those bug ponies attacking!” The guard cried out.

“Enough talk.” I say as I open a portal to the canterlot castle. “The city is under attack now.” With that the princesses all jumped through the portal followed closely by Ax who walked in then me and Mr. Freeze who dragged the Juggernaut behind him but to our confusion he was gone once we were on the other side.

The city was overrun with changelings as far as my eyes could see. I then saw Asphyxious walk ahead of the group and shout into the air. “Hear me! I am Asphyxious Hellbringer! King of the Diamond dogs! Devourer of Everblight! Lich Lord of the north! You may be her children but I will not hold back!” He then ran off with his sword in hand taking on any changeling that got in his way.

I sigh as I summon my personal bodyguards and point to Ax. “Unyielding I need you to stay with him and watch his back. And remind him to call for some of his own backup.” I order her which she replies with a nod and chases after him. “Well that happened.” I say as I bring in more troops to fight and dispatch them throughout the city. “First things first. We need to find the queen and defeat her.” I tell them as I hear Asphyxious laughter over the fighting.

I look around and try to detect the use of any dark magic but it's not easy when every changeling in the city is using it. I then saw an explosion of blue fire going off and hear Asphyxious laughing louder that was a little worrying.

“We should check my room! She was masquerading as me after all.” Cadence said.

“So thats why you got so sick after trying our cooking! It wasn’t you and pony food is probably not healthy for love eaters!” Luna bellowed.

“...Yes that must be it.” Cadence said with a nervous smile as her eyes shifted from side to side like Applejack's when she lies. I then jumped onto Celestia’s back and we flew off while I carried Swift in my magic and barged through the windows to her room...to find it empty.

“Any more ideas?” Celestia asked as we looked around the room.

“Where in the palace can she get the full view of the battle?” I asked.

“The throne room!” Celestia called and I created a portal for us to jump through. On the other side we found Celestia sitting in the throne sending orders to the royal guard to sabotage their efforts. “You! Changeling queen! You have been caught. You are outnumbered and outgunned! Give up now and make this easier on yourself!” Celestia demanded.

The changeling queen turned and scowled at them but looked very nervous. “Outgunned perhaps but never outnumbered.” She said angrily as she stood and dropped her disguise and charged up her horn for battle...She then looked around in confusion. “Where are my children?” She asked.

“Maybe they got teleported to the world of Skyrim by accident and are helping the dragonborn save the world from an evil immortal dragon.” I say to her with a happy smile.

“What?” She asked in confusion to my statement.

“Your right. It will never happen.” I say with a sigh and a sad shake of my head.


In the market district it looked like a themed art fair with all the ice statues of what looked like ponies filling the area. But to those who looked closely they could see the changelings frozen inside.


At the emergency shelter housing the majority of the cities population there stood a guard over a massive pile of injured and slimy changelings that were denied entry by the giant, blueberry bloat thrall that would spray any that would try to get to those inside.


In the living area was the biggest pile of them all with a few changelings left standing.


“How is this happening!? Its just a chicken!” One of them wailed as he tried to run but was taken down by his feathery foe.


Throughout the city changeling after changeling fell to the champions of Rin and a force of black knights. But there was still one group of them heading her way and flying faster than they ever flew before. But not because they were trying to save their queen...

“Save us!” Screamed Changelings as they're running in fear. Followed by the mad laughter of the one chasing them. “We’ll do anything just let us in!” One yelled as they ran into the room in a panic and Chrysalis suddenly had a very surprised look on her face as she found herself lifted up in the air. Looking down at her little changelings that had managed to cram themselves into a pile under her.

The doors were then destroyed as the one who her changelings feared walked in with a smile. “Hi kids daddys home!” Yelled Asphyxious with a smile on his face. He then walked up to the Queen with a soft smile on his face. “No matter how many times I see you, you’re still beautiful.” Asphyxious said as he pulled the Changeling Queen into a kiss. Her eyes shot open in surprise as she looked around at everyone before she got a foreboding gleam in her eyes as she charged up her horn again to blast Celestia. But even feeding on Ax she didn’t have the time to collect the power she needed and I jumped in it’s path with my mouth open wide and I shot the thread of my magic into it and it followed the trail to her horn like electricity following a steady stream of water and I pulled it out and nomed it. As I swallowed her power for it to be taken into my own. By eating her magic I can feel some of its properties. I feel stronger from the love of Celestia and Luna… And Ax. But it’s platonic towards me so its ok. And the love from Asphyxious was more for his queen back home and his hoard. Chrysalis however looked panicked at losing her power and more so when she saw what I did next. ‘Nom, nom, nom, nom. One after the other I drained the changelings hiding beneath her.

“What are you going to do to me?” She asked fearfully and I give a smile.

“Well there is this one new curse I just learned. Its called the dollification spell. Hold her still Ax.” I say as I charge up for the permanent version. Asphyxious just smiled at that as he hugged her.

I launched the spell at her and she screamed to the heavens as it flew towards her. “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Her cry ended in a squeak as the changeling queen shank and grew softer as she was turned into a living plush doll.

“She so cute!” Asphyxious said as he start cuddling her. Forcing Chrysalis to open her mouth wide and give out an involuntary squeak. Asphyxious eyes go wide as he looks at her then holds her in his hands and squeezed her again as she gave off another squeak. “Oh I mustn't… BUT I WILL!” He yells as he makes her squeak again and again and again… Wow he's not stopping.

While he is doing that I pull in a large ruby and transmuted it to be shaped like a heart before pawing it to Cadence. “Can you fill that with love magic please?” I asked her causing her to take it in her magical grasp.

“Sure, I guess…" She said with some confusion as she got to work. I then brought in a large amount of gems and used them to create a toy city inside a crystal dome big enough to cover one of those large card tables in a big casino before I got to work shrinking the changelings I drained and depositing them into their new home. When Cadence was done I set the heart in the little park to feed them next to the tiny playground as it locked into the monument meant for it.

“Can you have you’re guards bring the defeated Changeling outside so I can take their magic and give them a nice new home so they won’t need to fight to eat anymore?” I asked the princesses.

I then felt someone hug me and look down seeing Asphyxious smiling up at me. “Um...There there?” I say as I pat him on the head. He just kept looking up at me and was he purring?

“But aunty they attacked the city. The ponies will demand justice.” Luna said as she leaned in to look at the tiny changelings.

“Tell them that every last one was forced to undergo a procedure so that they can never use their magic again and they have all been imprisoned. Its not a lie.” I say as I wave a paw dismissively. “It won’t be our fault if they interpret that as something worse.”

My Hoard.” Asphyxious said as he was nuzzling me.

“...Ax. There isn’t enough booze in the multiverse I’m sorry but I’m just not into guys.” I tell him as I gently push him away with a paw.

Asphyxious then snaps out of, whatever that was. “Sorry, that was my hoarding instincts kicking in.” He say as he let me go and rubs the back of his head.

“Understandable. Why don’t you vent on my new dolly...without doing anything dirty with it while we work clean up.” I say as I pick up the dollified Christalis and pawed it over to him. She looked up at him with her big puppy like eyes. It seems that the dollification spell can make whatever it’s used on extra adorable. Though I knew that from the new toy box in my play room filled with animated dolls that used to be skeletons before I started practicing on them.

Asphyxious just smiles at me as he pick it up and put her on his shoulder. “I bet that’s what you want, never thought of you as the kinky type Rin.” He said with a smile.

My eyebrow raises at his words and even more so at the look Chrysalis was now giving me. “Well my little changelings got a city of love where they won’t starve so I guess my life long goal centuries in the making has been achieved. And I am a toy now so…” She emphasized this by wiggling her eyebrows or where they would be anyways at me. This resulted in the girls getting a look of embarrassed and sick which is an interesting shade to turn before galloping out the door saying something about getting me those changelings outside.

“Want to watch?” Asphyxious ask me with that same smile as if nothing was wrong.

“Hey, I said don’t ruin my new toy!” I shout as I take her away from him and hug her to my chest. “She’s mine now! If anyone is going to be sitting back watching it's you!” I tell him as I hug Chrysalis possessively.

“I’m okay with that.” Asphyxious said with a grin.

Our conversation was interrupted when Celestia walked back in with a huge, unnerving smile on her face as some of her more trusted guards started piling the defeated changelings into the room.

“Oh aunty about that test you were taking…” Celestia said causing me to tense and get ready to defend myself from the collar.

“I’m not taking that test and you can’t make me!” I say defiantly.

“Of course not. You only need to pass it once.” She said with a troll smile.

“What test?” Asked Asphyxious as he looked between us.

“...No, it can’t be.” I say if fear.

“Oh yes. You already proven your magical power before that Juggernaut fellow attacked. By manipulating space with your portal and summoning and controlling such strong dark creatures you proved your mastery over your domain. And when that horrible Juggernaut fellow cut you open and your internal organs fell out and you put yourself back together without leaving so much as a scar you proved to them you were immortal. And by saving the city you proved your virtue.” Celestia said as her smile grew wider.

“Wait what's going on now?” Asked Asphyxious as he looked lost at what Celestia was talking about.

“But I’m not immortal I’m just a really good doctor from mastering so many of necromancy’s healing applications!” I say as I recall the ponies rubbing my belly in the cart. They were looking for the wound!

“Oh don’t be so modest. You passed with flying colors which means we need to prepare for your coronation. Princess Rin.” She said as she could barely control her laughter. I did the only thing I could do in this situation. I plopped down on my rump and I cried like a baby.

Asphyxious then poked me and I looked at him as he was smiling at me. “So does this mean I should start calling you Queen Rin from now on.” He said with a smile.

I gave a sniff before I answered. “Do you want me to curse you so that whenever you try to get any you will be surrounded by illusions of flabby naked old men coming on to you?” He laughed and backed off after I said that.

When I was done crying Unyielding Blade walked up to Ax. “Shall we go to the Pit for that sparring match you asked for while we battled the invaders on the streets?”

“Why not? Sounds fun as long as we use the real thing.” Asphyxious said as he started to walk off with her.


(A short while later in the combat pit.)

The sound of cheering filled the air as the inhabitants of the Dungeon waited for the show. In one corner the sounds of chains being pulled and large gears turning resonated off the walls as the steel gate rose up allowing the black knight Unyielding Blade to walk in. She gave her usual performance for her fans as she took the heavy blade from her back and started swinging it around at seemingly impossible speeds with the skill of a master before letting it drive into the ground cutting through the stone floor like butter. The crowd cheered louder at the display.

Asphyxious on the other hand just walks in from his side without a care in the world. He held his sword by his side as he looked around the pit before stopping. He then looks at Unyielding Blade and bows. Ignoring the boos he was getting from the crowd. Unyielding easily pulled her sword from the ground before giving her own bow. Up high a single imp raised a large drum stick and struck the gong.

That kicked things off as they both ran at each other at the same time. Ax was forced back at the first strike and had to get a tighter grip on his weapon from almost losing his sword from the unexpected raw power in the swing from the black knights larger and heavier weapon.

Asphyxious smiled as he went back into the fight this time moving around more and picking when to strike. It was like he was running all over the place trying to look for an opening.

Narrowing her eyes in determination she rose up to her hind hooves and took her blade into her forehooves. When Ax got too close he was surprised that she was able to swing her blade with greater speed and precision like this but she seemed slower when moving around the arena.

He smiled as he was enjoying himself and fighting the Knight. This was the first time he was in a fight that he could enjoy without the fear of someone else trying to kill him. It was just him and the mare. Asphyxious then moved forward as he blocked one of her attacks and held it there.

“Tell me are you enjoying yourself right now?” He asked as there blades sparked.

“Yes. Usually I just get a slight warm up fighting the hydra and can only get a workout fighting my sister. But she is more of a water style fighter. Bending around the attacks and striking fast then backing off where I am like a rock. You are the first to be able to stop one of my swings. Normally any attempt to do that would only result in my opponent dropping their weapon or it breaking under the force of my blows. You have managed to hold on to your weapon and I must compliment your sword for withstanding the blows.” She answered with a hint of a smile.

“Sound interesting maybe if I win I’ll fight her next but for now lets have Fun with this fight!” He yells and jumps back from her. He smiles as he runs at her again then swings his cutlass at her. She swung her sword up and in but wasn’t aiming to block with it. Instead she moved a little to the right letting the blade bounce off her armored foreleg and swung her sword at his midsection while his blade was vibrating from striking the hard armor.

Asphyxious jumped back but still the blade cut through his chest plate and blood rained onto the floor. He took a breath as he dropped to one knee breathing calmly. He then slowly took the chest plate off. Asphyxious then smiled as he heard the cheers and started to laugh.

“Let me guess, you think it's over now… I’m sorry but I can’t have that, not when we’re starting to have so much FUN!” Asphyxious yelled and charged at unyielding like a mad man. She just smirked and said two words.

“Restrictions release!” That is when some black braces that Ax didn’t see before because they blended in with her armor unlatched like shackles from her legs and one from her waist like a belt and fell to the floor, embedding themselves into the stone floor with their weight alone.

“I love it!” He yelled as there blades met in a shower of sparks. “How did you get some much stronger all of a sudden.” He asked as her sword cut into one of his arms.

“Working for my lady...Or should I say my princess now? Comes with advantages. Her mastery of making artifacts means I am provided with interesting training tools. Each of the leg braces weighed two hundred pounds each and the belt was five hundred.” She answered.

“Now that's really interesting.” Asphyxious said with an almost feral grin on his face. “Now show me what you can really do and make me feel alive!” He screams as he goes back for more. But when he tried to lock blades again he was pushed back by the force of her swing without the weights weighing her down.

“You think the training weights are interesting you should see this board game she made for training using the enchantments used in those comic books that kids seem to love these days. It’s called Jumanji. Its a nice challenge with so many things in the jungle trying to kill you, even if they can’t really kill you. Perhaps you would play with me some time?” She asked.

“Sounds like my kind of place think Rin can make me one of those?” He asked as he stands up again. It was strange seeing him push himself like this it was clear Unyielding was stronger yet Asphyxious kept fighting back.

“You can try asking.” She said as she used her hind legs to jump at Ax surprising him yet again with the quick movement knocking his cutlass out of his hand. But she had to wait until she landed to stop meaning she was a good distance away before she could turn around.


Asphyxious grabbed her in a hug. “I don’t know why but I always fall for strong women.” He said into her ear. Then let her go as he held his hands up. “Looks like I lost.” He said with a smile.


Unyielding Blade gave a smile as she placed her weapon back on her back and fell back to all fours and gave a bow as the crowed cheered her name. “If only the other black knights besides my sister were as strong as you. We would have already defeated the Goodly Heroes.” She said before offering her hoof to shake.


“They sound stupid, next time you guys fight them let me know I need a good punching bag.” Said Asphyxious as he looks at his bleeding shoulder then shakes her hoof.

Unyielding saw this and looked to the sky. “My lady the fight is over. Would you be so kind?” She asked and she and Ax glowed with the light of the healing spell. “May your battles bring you victory.” She said to him as she offered a hoof to shake. He took it and smiled at her. “My you stay strong and your enemies make you stronger.” Asphyxious said back.

Princess Rin

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"...Let me see if I understand this. You want me to pay you alimony because you claim I got you pregnant?" I asked with a baffled look on my face that he would claim such a thing as he gave a nod and looked up at me like I owed him everything. After I was named princess the girls have been trying to ease me into the role and after a month and a half of training they felt I should hold court for a short time between Celestia and Luna's court time to help make a better impression on the ponies. But for the most part I've just been getting noble after noble trying to take advantage of the fact that I'm new to try to get their greedy hooves into the royal treasury. Though I must admit despite some of the poorly thought out plans to do this so far this attempt is the most idiotic of them all.

"You idiot!" His wife shouted as she marched up to him in anger. "What nonsense are you saying!? Why would you tell ponies that the princess got you pregnant when it's not possible!" She continued. Well at least she is smart enough to see- "You were suppose to tell everypony that she got ME pregnant you fool!" ...There are no words for this level of stupidity. I think to myself as I take a moment to watch the two argue about which one of them should claim to be carrying my baby to squeeze as many bits out of the fresh meat as they could before I had a chance to wise up to things...Exact words...Right in front of me and the guards around the room... And judging from the laughter from the door separating us from the others waiting to see me they could all hear the two digging their own graves and were delighting in it.

"That's enough." I say calmly. I can't even be mad at them because they were just too stupid. I then use the inspiration manifestation spell to create a pair of appropriately sized pacifiers to plug up their mouths. I then manifested some baby looking clothes. "If you two want a baby so much you can be each other's baby. You both certainly act the part." I look to the scribe that was sitting to my left taking notes. "Make sure to send a copy of their crimes to an appropriate judge and prepare a court date." This caused them to tense as they looked to me in fear. "Don't give me that look. What you two just tried to do is against the law. Now go and don't be late to your trial." I tell them before sending them back out and waited for the next petitioner.

"Announcing Lord Loophole Trap who is here to discuss the passing of a new law." At those words I suppress a groan. Both at the topic and the name of this guy. You can tell a lot about a pony from their name and this one screamed 'I'm going to take you for a ride'.

"Greetings your majesty, it is a pleasure to meet the newest princess." He spoke in a silky smooth voice as he gave me a smile that sparkled. He wore a fine business suit and his black mane was done up like Blueblood's. His coat was white and his cutie mark was a contract. In his magical grasp was a stack of papers so thick it could be a book which he passed to a guard who looked it over for anything dangerous before passing it to me. I look it over as he talks about how this would help with the flow of the economy and trade with other nations and I must admit this looks rather impressive, the paper I mean. He used needlessly complex ways of saying what the law would do but not too complex that it would easily warrant suspicion and he had it scattered about between filler meant for misdirection. This guy is good. But that's not all that's in the papers.

"What is this?" I ask him as I hold up the papers. "Did you seriously just try to use dark magic on me?" I ask causing the guards to glare at him and making Loophole sweat a little. "A weak enchantment but when mixed with the weaving of the words it can be quite effective and scary subtle. It looks like an enchantment to make this paper appealing."

"Bureaumancy!" One of the guards shouted and the next thing I know he is surrounded by guards with spears to his neck. "By order of princess Celestia you are under arrest for using bureaumancy!" I blink a few times at this. Bureaumancy? That was just a joke I made with Faust back then when talking about the nobles. Somepony actually invented it? I watched as the noble was dragged off by the guards and the papers were taken from my magic with some kind of container by a pony in what looks like a hazmat suit. ...Well that happened.

"Now announcing the Hero family." This caught my attention. Everypony else who came to see me was a noble. But the ponies that came in looked like they just got out of a train wreck. The father had a neck brace on and was covered head to hooves in scars and was missing most of his left ear. The mother was in the best shape with only a few scars here and there and one of her hind legs was broken. The little colt was sitting on his mother's back with a few scars, and three broken legs as well as a cast over his rib cage. I could feel the curse on the two males of the family. Before anything could be said there was the sound of straining metal from above which caused the family to calmly back up before the chandelier could fall on them then just walked around the thing like it was just a large puddle in their way and not something that had almost killed them.

"Greeting your majesty." The mother said with a bow, the husband also bowed but said nothing. It wasn't until he was closer that I could now see that his mouth was wired shut.

"Mommy, daddy no! That's the evil fox monster! Just like the pony on the box said!" My eye twitched at this. Though there is no way to prove they are affiliated with the Goodly Heroes, ponies had been popping up all over Equestria spreading propaganda and doubts. Saying how the moment I was taking the test I just so happened to be attacked and the city as well by an army of changelings that fell too easy was an act I staged to cheat my way into power and I must admit that fiasco does look suspect from an outside perspective.

"Shush Soapy Mouth! She's a princess." The mother chastised. Soapy Mouth? What kind of special talent goes with a name like- My thoughts were interrupted by the five year old in question when he opened his mouth.


27 minutes later.


"Then when I pull it out of your plot I'll make you eat it you bucking poodle!" When the young colt started screaming profanities at me everything else seemed to freeze in time as everypony looked at him in horror. And when I stopped taking notes I looked up to see the room looked like they had just witnessed a murder. I looked back down at my notes. I'm going to need to look up more than half of these... and I had no idea there were so many applications for a cactus.

"S-Soapy!" His mother shouted in horror when her brain finally managed to reboot and she quickly sealed his mouth with her hooves before bowing low to me. "Please your majesty, he's just a child please spare him! I will take his punishment for him!" She begged making me sigh.

"I'm not going to do anything to him though I suggest you wash his mouth out. That squirt has the fourth dirtiest mouth I've ever heard." The other three are some foul mouthed chickens when they get angry. "Now, what brings you to me? I'm guessing it has something to do with that curse following two of you around?" I ask causing the two adult's eyes to widen.

" Y-Yes your majesty. My husband's father was once a guard that protected our home town. One day he was among a team that went to apprehend a dark wizard, but the unicorn was unwilling to surrender and it turned into a battle. He was not only one of the few that returned alive but was the one to bring the fiend down. With his dying breath the evil wizard spoke a curse that the blade that killed him will wipe his killers blood line from existence. It had killed grandpa and several others in the family. We asked princess Celestia to save us and she had the sword purified and it worked at first but, it has come back and we were hoping you would have more luck. The guards are holding it outside." She answered with some relief that I wasn't angry at her son's outburst. I frown a little at her words. Curses can be fun for pranks if you don't go too far and make it temporary but a killing curse that targets a blood line? I hate this guy already.

"Very well, bring it in." I call out and watch as the sword was brought before me. When I lifted it up to examine it my frown deepens. This curse is far too weak for Celestia to be unable to eradicate it. Not only that but it's fresher than the story behind it would imply. This isn't the original curse, it's a replacement after the old one was removed. I crush the curse and I could see the stallion relax like he could feel the curse's hold crumbling away while his child is still trying to scream profanities through his mother's hoof. I can also detect slight traces of ectoplasm on it.

"Done." I say simply as I gave the sword back to the guard and gave out a mental command. Oh Nightmare, I have a job for you. My work to straighten the Nightmare was shaky at first but was working nicely. She went from queen bitch to acting like a happy kitten... granted she treats most others like mice but she's working on it. And she's my kitten, she even sleeps with me in my bed where she keeps her plushy vessel. When I see her happy smile form in some shadows out of sight from the others in the room except my bodyguards who are on either side of me...Or was as Swift Blade is now in front of me with a little colt pounding on her chest as he screamed about how he was going to beat everyone up. I just smile and shake my head before casting the heal spell on them. I still had one of those soul cages from the first time I ran into Ax. I was studying it to better learn how to counter them and though that turned out to be a bust so far I can still make use of the thing.

"I have healed you so you can take your kid and go now. And remember use lots of soap." I say with a smile as the parents bowed and thanked me as they took their kid and turned to leave. Take the cage I just placed next to my bed and follow that family. There is a ghost or ghosts trying to curse them to death. I want you to catch them discreetly without letting any harm come to the family. At my command the Nightmare vanished to complete her task. I could almost hear her giggling with joy as she went to hunt her prey.

"Now announcing Mr. Book Worm." Called the pony whose job was to just stand there and shout names out but when the door opened nopony came in. "I said, now announcing Mr. Book Worm." The pony called out again.

"He's asleep!" Called a voice from the other side of the door but the pony closer to him shouting apparently was enough to wake him.

"Wh- what? Oh its my turn." Very slowly a bald, elderly pony with large round glasses that gave him an owlish appearance walked in. It took a large amount of time for the old pony to make it to me. Especially since he fell asleep on his way and needed to be woken up again. "Oh, finally, that was a long line." He said as he shakily, and slowly pulled out a slip of paper. "Here's my prescription for my hemorrhoid cream." I just blink at that.

"Sir this isn't a pharmacy it's an audience with a princess." One of the guards told him.

"What? No I don't want any pencils I want my hemorrhoid cream." The old pony countered.

"No you're in the wrong place!" The guard spoke loudly so that the elderly pony would be able to hear him.

"Why would I put hemorrhoid cream on my face? You put it on the other end." The old pony said with a confused look on his face but I couldn't help but note a slight twinkle in his eye. Suspicious now I take a quick peek inside his head and give a small smile. He's trolling us! He can hear the guard fine. I lean back in the throne and enjoy the show. I can't help but like this old fart for giving me almost half an hour of entertainment as the guard tried to tell him this was the palace.

"Aunty it's our shift." Luna said as she trotted in with a large cup of coffee. Figures the one time something entertaining happens on the job I got to clock out. I get up from my seat and give a stretch which caused my back to give some satisfying pops before giving my thanks and walking out with Unyielding and Swift at my sides.

"Well if it isn't the new princess." Damn! So close. I think as I turn away from the area that is restricted where my room lies and look to the owner of the voice. He was a visiting dignitary from the minotaur republic. He wasn't too old but had some grey hairs on the top of his head and in his beard. He wore fine purple robes and a golden pendant around his neck and golden rings on his horns. "I would like to talk to you about the trade between our people. Allow me to talk to you about the splendors of, potatoes!" He said with a large smile on his face. ...Why me? "Our potatoes are grown with great care and love to be the best in the world. They are given the richest soil and the freshest water. And there are so many uses for potatoes, they can be boiled into soup and made into a new kind of fries that are more universal then hey fries. And raw they can be used as a very effective projectile for self defiance." I held up my paw up to stop him.

"Though those potato fries do sound good I'm afraid I'm not ready to talk trade. You should talk to Celestia about this." I say in the hopes of getting away.

"Oh you underestimate yourself. Allow me to share with you all of the wonders of potatoes." He said as he took out what looks like a hat box. Did he actually bring free samples? My thoughts were proven wrong as he turns it over and lets one side go causing it to roll away leaving behind a long sheet of paper. ...This is karma for all the pranks I pulled in my life isn't it? Thankfully I only had to endure about ten minutes of this.

“Rin the Dungeon Keeper, I, Orochi, call out to you!” Yes!

"I'm sorry but I need to go. It's very important." I tell him as I create a portal and send my guards through. When I get the all clear I use my hand to send Vinyl and Trixie in as I jump through myself leaving behind a confused minotaur.


Later in the Dungeon.


We came out through the permanent portal in my dungeon that connects to the palace. "Well that went far more smoothly than I expected." I say as I walk to the torture chamber. I have a few problems with my undead. Though the flesh golems are much stronger then my skeletons they are just as mindless and as the battle outside ponyville has shown me not very useful against an army with enough competence to take them down with ranged attacks instead of getting in close. So I decided to just turn all of those medium sized bodies into skeletons. There is also the issue of supply and demand, the forest is a place of birth and death were everything is reproducing and dying like crazy. But my imps are still bringing them in too fast so now I need to wait for the body count to go up again so I've been using what I have to make something particularly nasty and I'm almost finished. When I enter the room I look up at the fifteen foot tall behemoth of muscle. I had to use the bone metal spell to give this bipedal giant a skeletal structure that can handle the strain this body will be put under. Like my flesh golems I took all of the muscle I could and made it stronger through alchemical solutions before attaching and building them up. For its skin I used toughened crock hide which made it look all black with great cracks about it. On its back were bone metal spikes and a space for the large basket he will be carrying. On its arms are bone metal bracers to act as shields and it wore some tattered pants...just because I felt he needed them. And a sturdy belt around his waist to carry the weapons/tools I made for this beautiful abomination. Steel chains ending in heavy and sharp hooks. I'm so close to finishing this I decide I'm not going to stop again until it's done.


After four hours the body is finally done and ready for its new owner. Like every room the Haunted Room attracts a number of minions based on its size and after I helped any trapped souls move on I eventually had all ghosts that stayed by choice to work for me and aside from making a full team of ghost raiders to crew my flying Dutchmen and created a soul jar for them to return to if cut down in battle I have one who volunteered for this job. Using my hand I plopped him down in the room.

"Its ready!" A say in a sing song voice causing the ghost to jump up excitedly and fly into the large body. Once he was in place I cast the spell to help connect the body and more easily respond to the new soul. With a rumble the hulking undead rose up and looked down at it's meaty hands.

"This is...SO EPIC!" The giant cried out as he examined himself. Finding the hook and chains on his belt he took one off and did some poses with it before swinging it and throwing it like a wrecking ball across the room trashing the wall and when he pulled back he pulled one of the tables out of the floor when the hook got caught on it causing it to fly across the room.

"Hey watch it!" I cry out as I scramble to get out of the way.

"Woops, sorry boss." He said as he rolled the chain back up and returned it to his belt.

"First things first you need to get to the training room and learn to control that body and learn your strength." I tell him as I take him with my hand and dump him in a training room locked and separate from the others before popping in myself. "Once you're done here you'll need to get straight to work."

"Fighting?" He asked excitedly.

"You stopped paying attention after you heard giant undead didn't you?" I asked with a deadpan receiving an embarrassed nod. "You are a Corpse Collector now. Your job is to go out and bring me the dead bodies too big for my imps to bring me."

"So...I won't get to fight?" He asked sadly.

"I never said that. You will be collecting in the Everfree forest so I'd say it's safe to assume that you will be attacked by the predators out there and you are a powerful undead so it would be wasteful not to take you into some battles. But until then you bring me nice, big cadavers understand?" I ask him getting a happy nod. He perked up at the idea of fighting Everfree monsters so I nod and let him get to work as I head straight to the showers. Once I was clean and crawling into bed I took Chrysalis which I had renamed Squeaky out of her prison cell which was a one room doll house with a lock on it to sleep with along with the Nix plushy.

"So...Think I can go spelunking before you go to sleep?" She asked from my forelegs. She's just as perverted as the other changelings and it quickly became clear that she was taking her defeat and dollification so well because of her kids getting fed. And she had expectations on how I would play with her and the things her new size would allow her to do.

"Not now. Now it's time for sleep. In the morning." I reply as I snuggle in under the covers.

"Yes!"..." Wait, you do realize I meant inside of you right? This isn't going to be like last time I asked and you took me into a cave is it?" she asked me.

"Good night Squeaky." I say as I doze off without giving her an answer.

Bonus Chapter. My Pet Dungeon #3

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Elegant Notes rose up into the air as she was lifted by the paw of Princess Rin before she came back down again with an oomph as her rump landed and she was lifted up again to repeat the process again and again as she counted each one. "You know I can walk on my own." Elegant Notes said as she looked up at me.

"Yes but I like moving your piece for you." I reply with a smile as I placed her on her new location on the board. Elegant Notes just sighed and rolled her eyes before deciding to continue with the questions.

"So can you move the sun or moon?" She asked.

"I have enough power but Celestia insisted that I don't." I answer.

"Why?" She asked.

"Well, she was kind of upset when I tried to move the sun fast enough to write my name in the sky." I say with a smile.

"I see... can you describe your life with Celestia's and Luna's parents?" She asked.

"Well the average day..."


I let out a wheeze as the air was forced out of me by my giggling alarm clock. Little Celly had gotten into the habit of waking me in the morning by jumping on me.

"Celly are you trying to kill me?" I ask her to which she responded by clamping her jaws on my nose and chewed on it with her gums. I sigh as I pull her away from my face and wipe off the baby spit before setting her in a playpen that was set up in my room for when she does this so I could go take care of my morning business. When I come back out I see that she has escaped her playpen.

"Why do I even bother with that thing?" I ask myself as I look around for her only for her to find me first as she lands on me again knocking me to the floor. "Celly that's not how we ask for a piggy back ride." I tell her as I look up at her and she complies with the puppy eyes and holding her fore hooves out. "Better." I say with a nod before I get up and walk out to get breakfast with a happily laughing Celly on my back.

"We thought that this might be thy next destination." Said Faust as she walked up next to me and nuzzled her daughter. "Doth thou be enjoying thy ride with Rin?" She asked the baby getting a happy laugh as a response before Celly scooted up till she was sitting on my neck and started chewing and tugging on my left ear. "We trust she has caused thee no trouble?" Faust asked me.

"You know I enjoy being her favorite playmate but I wish she would wake me more gently." I reply as I speed up a little and walk in a counterclockwise circle around Faust getting more giggles from Celly as she then pulls on my other ear and I turn with my head as we played one of her favorite games on the way to eat as I let her steer me around like a car.

"Count thy blessings that thou are the second one she uses to land. When she crashes into us her diaper doth be filled with an evil most foul." Faust said in a joking manner as we reach the kitchen and I get my usual breakfast of an egg sandwich with some cooked fish on the side as that's the only meat I can get from the ponies. I ate while Faust lifted a large barrel full of milk with a sack with a hole in it on top in her magic and held it over Celestia. It still baffles me that such a little baby can consume more than my own body mass in one meal

"How fared thee in thy investigation of the zombies in the city of Tomb Stone?" Faust asked me as she fed her baby.

"It went well at first. I discovered that the cause was a dark artifact, an orb that reanimated the dead through simple proximity. Someone had buried it in the city's necropolis." I answered.

"Such a dangerous and disturbing thing. Did thou find a way to counter it?" She asked with a frown.

"That's why I said it started out well. Before I could study it Salaris took it and smashed it while giving me a 'there went your trump card' look." I said in annoyance.

"He will come around in time, just be patient." She said reassuringly.

"Yes well the city needs to be purified now. You can't just smash a dark artifact like that so now the magic is in the necropolis itself. And unless the body is destroyed it will rise up as an undead again and again regardless of how many times they're taken down inside the area of affect and its so diluted now I can't get any real data on how it works." I complain.

"We trust the order has already been given?" She asked.

"Yes but its a large area to cover and the undead wont make it easy for them so it might take them awhile. Until then the area has been quarantined." I answer as she set the 'baby bottle' down and patted Celly's back causing her to burp with enough force to knock over one of the cooks and blow his hat away.

"Unfortunate news. Anyways we will be dining in the pavilion to watch the show, it's new recruitment day. Care to join us?" She asked with a smile which I returned.

"Sounds fun." I say as I follow her out. To make the new recruits want to train to be stronger they give them a ridiculous looking sparring partner to kick their plots to drive them and weed out the ones that are too proud.

As we sat and watched we delighted in the looks on the ponies faces as Strong Heart and Cluck Norris came out and the first one was asked to pick one to fight. The first match was with Strong Heart and the earth pony that came in flipping and showing off his marshal arts skills. They bowed and the pony attacked first with a flying kick but Strong jumped to the side and grabbing the kicking leg and flipping the pony forward before jumping back so that just when he landed Strong sat on him much like how Celly likes to wake others up. When the fight was over Strong got up and the pony shakily rose up and glared up at him.

"What kind of attack was that? Where did you learn how to fight?" The pony demanded.

Strong did a kung-fu pose and spoke in his best impression of wolverine from X-men and answered. "XBox...Kinects." Unfortunately the entertainment was short lived as all the fights went by that quickly. Not that I saw the end because when it was almost done there was a horrid smell in the air and when I turned to look Celestia's head was now higher than her mother's when sitting in the grass because her diaper was now so inflated it was literally bigger than me and I decided that I should really get back to my studies in the forbidden archives. In the time it took Faust to turn her head to undoubtedly ask me to take care of it I was already inside the castle.

I would spend hours studying those books and there isn't much to say about that time spent as the room was just full of books, webs, the occasional spider and the hollowed out wall with the painting that the king still thinks I don't know is being used to hide the spy he sent to watch me while I read.

When Lunch came around I would go eat in the garden before reporting to the throne room so that I can give my advice when they take court though most of the time I would just hang out by a playpen Faust kept next to her throne and play with Celly unless I had something to contribute.

"And here comes the ball." I say in a whisper as I roll the small toy back the Celly and she caught it and rolled it back too me. I was about to roll it back but was suddenly unable to move as I was trapped in a golden aura as Celly picked me up and pulled me into the playpen headfirst with my backside sticking out the top because I was too big to fit and I felt tiny hooves wrap around my head and Celly chewing on my ear as she laid down for her nap and is using my head as a teddy...again. When she fell asleep I gave Faust the signal with my tails to help me out of this trap I'm stuck in.

"Oh, we're sorry we doth be too busy to help thee with the baby at the moment." Faust said with a smile before turning back to court. Well...That came back to bite me. I thought to myself as I tried to free myself from Celly's grip but to no avail.

"This is going to be a long court." I said in defeat as I waited for it to end so I can be set free.

Court ended at dinner time and as per usual Faust invited me to eat with the family much to the chagrin of Salaris as he would just give me the stink eye whenever he looked at me and the only time he would talk to me he would try to use his words to trap me into saying something compromising so he could have an excuse and after that I checked on my minions and ran experiments.


"That was the average day." I say to the little pony.

"...wait, you were physically and magically overpowered by princess Celestia when she was a baby?" she asked in bewilderment.

"Well she is an alicorn." I say.

"But how can you watch over a baby that can easily overpower you?" She asked in confusion.

"By not relying on power." I answer as I move my piece to the end of the board. "I win! Now its time for a new game." I say with a grin as I pick up my tiny playmate.

Come to the dark side...We have cookies. (Edited)

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"So, how's your food aunty?" Celestia asked with a smile. "... Come on it's been almost two months now and the only time you've spoken with us is a small thanks whenever we relieve you of duty. You can't keep giving us the silent treatment forever." Celestia said with a frown as I just continued to eat. With my lack of a response Celestia just sighed. "Alright I've had enough. Knowing you I've prepared the best way to get you to forgive us. I didn't want to do it but we need communication now so I'm bribing you." She continued as I finished my meal and gave her a flat look. It had better be a good one. I thought to myself as the girls lead me away from the table.

It was a long walk down beneath the palace itself into one of the palaces cellars. It was a huge room with large stone brick walls and floor and when I saw what was in the room I did speak to the girls.

"That is a big pile of crap." I say just before Celestia shoots the pile of poo as big as her with her magic making it disappear to someplace else.


(In the Badlands.)


"I told you but would you listen? Nooooooo Mr. I can buy lots of land for cheap and get a large farm faster." Complained an earth pony mare as she sat in the shade of her new porch and watched her husband work the land.

"Well maybe we could have afforded that nice chunk of land by the mountains if you didn't spend so many bits on those useless dresses and bobbles you like to wear around. Besides I can make this work. I just need some fertilizer to spread around." Her husband retorted.

"Fertilizer? Where are you going to get that out here? And don't try to pin this on me. I hardly spent any bits on those things, you just can't admit you lost them." She countered getting an eye roll from her husband. "Don't roll your eyes at me, it's the truth! If I'm lying may Celestia strike me down where I stand!" Just as the words left her mouth the air was filled with a golden glow of power just like the two had seen princess Celestia use during the Summer Sun celebration. Their moment of wonder was short lived as a massive pile of dung fell right on top of the mare with a splat. The air was filled with silence for a moment until the pile of filth slushed around for a moment and the mare quickly dug her way out and plopped onto the ground with a look of horror at what just happened before jumping up and running over to the water pump to wash herself.

"I think that proved me right!" Her husband called out to her before putting his hooves together in a praying like fashion and looking to the sky. "And thank you for the fertilizer." He said as he went to go get his shovel to spread the blessing from above to help his fields grow.


(Back at the palace.)


Celestia blinked in confusion. "That's strange, after sending the mess to an empty wasteland I could have sworn I was thanked." She said. I was about to ask her what even left that mess when a tremendous force pushed me onto my back against the ground and something warm, wet and soft landed on top of me, covering most of my body before moving upwards then moved back and was instantly replaced with another and another. I made the mistake of opening my mouth to shout but was disturbed as a thick, warm slime entered my mouth. Using telekinesis I pushed my assailant off of me and began spitting up a storm and used a portal to summon water to wash my mouth out with.

"She likes you." Celestia said teasingly. "A few years back Cerberus was retired after all his years of service and his youngest pup was trained to be his successor. This pup was part of the same litter." She explained which caused me to look up at the giant three headed dog that had just gave me her kisses. Aside from the fact that she was a very slobbery dog I could now see that she looked like a three headed Rottweiler pup.

"PUPPY!" I shout happily as I jump up and hug her chest before happily scratching it.

"Does this mean you'll stop giving us the silent treatment?" Celestia asked but was soon surprised when she was lifted up in a magical field and tossed across the room.

"Fetch!" I called out. Celestia was quickly able to spread her wings and slow down before her eyes widened as what I had just shouted out registered in her mind and she turned around just in time to see a wide open mouth coming at her before everything got dark and slimy.

"Good girl!" I say excitedly as my new puppy came bounding back with Celestia screaming something from inside the pup's middle mouth which was moving with her struggles.

“Good girl! Now drop her.” I order but as she was lowering her middle head to spit Celestia out Celestia had apparently gotten tired of waiting. There was a bright flash from the pups cheeks and her head jerked back in surprise as the room was filled with the sound of a powerful gulp. The puppy Cerberus's middle head had that ‘I’m in trouble’ look on her face while the left head looked surprised and I think the right head was laughing as hard as Luna was.

“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Tell us sister! How doth it feel to be the cake?" Luna asked the pup’s stomach area in her Canterlot voice.

"I would think that you would be more concerned about your one and only sister getting eaten." Celestia shouted back.

"Thou are immortal. Thou will be fine.” Luna said dismissively. "Thou can just teleport out anyways.”

"No I can't! This breed of dog was chosen to guard the gates of Tartarus for a reason! You can't use magic to get out of their grasp!" Celestia replied.

"So powerful laxatives?" I asked.

"...Aunty. There are four ways out of here. Three mouths and one stomach to cut through. Get me out one of those ways or I will get out myself. Keep in mind that my horn is very sharp." She replied causing all three of the pup’s heads to give another gulp.

"Alright just calm down I have an idea I just need a moment to make something! Stay right where you are!" I shouted to her as I summoned some gems to me and started transmuting them into something I can use.


A few moments later.


“I think I got a bight!” I called out as I pulled on my fishing pole which I had grown to a giant size along with me. The poor dog’s middle head was gagging on the rope down her throat as I worked to pull Celestia up. With a mighty tug a slimy Celly popped out and dangled in the life saver on the other end of the line before I set her down and shrank back down to my normal size.

"Now I forgive you." I say with a smile causing her eye to twitch before she did Cadence's breathing exercises.

"Let it go, for now, you got what you wanted. " She said to herself before looking back up at me. "I figured you would like her." She said as I conjured up a giant frisbee and let it fly with my magic for my new puppy to chase. "Now that we're back on speaking terms there are some things we must discuss."

"I'm listening." I say as I throw the Frisbee again.

"Well, let's start with your new duties as the princess. Each princess must take charge of their own domain and deal with the subjects that dwell within and some things have popped up that you need to take care of.” She said as she placed a scroll in my paw which I had to shake a few times to get some of the drool off.

“Alright I can do this.” I say as I look it over getting a nod from Celestia.

"Another problem is when you take court we have noticed that you have been turning several of the noble's tricks around on them in ironic or poetic ways and though certainly entertaining I want you to stop, at least for now. Now is not the time to be getting the nobles riled up. And that includes whatever you're doing to make some strange lying voice talk bad about them as well. When they try, just say no."

"Morgan Freeman doesn't lie. Just so you know your mother commissioned that quill for the reason it's being used now. Every time somepony wanted bits from her she would make them sign their names on a piece of paper first before questioning them on why they wanted it. Morgan Freeman will narrate everything honestly about everything the Quill's user does for four days including lie. If they don't face consequences they won't learn. I had to tan your hide a few times when you got out of line and you turned out fine." I say and laugh a little when she sits down at the mention of spankings. "Don't act that way or others will think I abused you." I tease.

"Well you certainly left an impression… in more ways than one." Celestia said before her nose scrunched up as she got a look of concentration in her eyes. "Wait... they can't all be true. I've heard the voice and some of the things he said are too bizarre to be real."

"Morgan Freeman can't lie. That's how the curse works." I insist causing Celestia's face to turn the pink color of her toy back on earth like she always does when she's embarrassed.

"And he narrates everything?" She asked when she goes back to white, earning a sinister smile from me.


Elsewhere in Canterlot.


He smiles darkly as he pulls on the wheel which pulls the chain causing the mare to scream with the sounds of cracking bones resonated through the chamber.

"Don't worry my dear, The pain won't last long." Greedy said as he pulled out a nightmarish device with three drills that spun and grinded together as sparks of electricity came up through the-

"You know what, I can't do this. It's just too weird." The mare said in annoyance.

"But honey bun I thought you liked weird." Greedy Hooves said to the mare with a frown.

"Not when ponies can see it or hear about it. That stupid voice won't shut up and I don't want the servants gossiping about anything they hear him say. Until this thing wears off you’re sleeping in the guest room." The mare said in annoyance.

"But honey bun, would it be so bad just to sleep together if we don't do anything?" Greedy Hooves asked despite agreeing with his lover. He was trying to convince her that it would be ok for him to sleep where he is because he was too embarrassed to admit that the gears had jammed and he was now stuck.

"..."

"..."

"Honey, what are you doing with that crowbar?" He asked nervously as he watches the mare pull the tool from under the bed.

"Just helping you get unstuck dear." She said in a sweet tone.

The bed chamber was filled with a new kind of screaming and the sound of twisting metal and the working of a clockwork machine breaking resonates off the walls.

"Oh shut up!" The mare shouts out before the noise stops and the sound of hooves clopping towards the door caused the entire staff to quickly sneak away before they were caught and a unicorn stallion limped out of the room before the door closed behind him. He limped down the hall and entered the guest room and decided he was tired and needed some sleep but went to the bathroom first.

Harder and harder he grunted under the pressure as the thought of who might hear the voice narrating his every action gave him yet another kind of performance anxiety.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screams in frustration.


Back in the storage room under the palace.


"Everything." I say with emphasis causing her to just barely contain a snort at all the possibilities.

"Well that just means that it's more important that you stop." She said with a tone of finality.

"You let those nobles get away with too much." I tell her.

"I let you get away with too much." She replies with a smile before cringing as a glob of what I think was once dog food rolled down from the top of her head and onto her muzzle. “Now if you’ll excuse me I am in desperate need of a shower or ten.” She said as she turned around and spread her wings to take flight towards the stairs but unfortunately for her the pup was still in the mood to play fetch. "Ahh!" She cried out before my happy puppy bounded back over to me and opened the mouth of her left head and let Celestia fall out with a kiddie pool's worth of drool. "Not one word." She said in a warning tone before teleporting away as Luna fell to the floor laughing.

"I'm going to name you Luna. That's a good dog name." I say as I walk over and start scratching the pup's side. This got pony Luna to stop laughing.

"Thou shall not name thy slobbery pooch after us!" She demanded.

"Oh fine, if you're going to be a big baby about it I shall name her Sasha! You like that girl? You like the name Sasha? Who's my good puppy? Roll over. Good girl!" I say in baby talk as I jump up on her belly to give her a tummy scratch.

"Well as sweet as this is we should be going now and thou should tend to thy puppy and prepare her a place in thy dungeon." She said as she walked up next to the dog.

"Wait, before you go I have something to say." I tell her causing her to freeze in place and look up at me questioningly.

"What?" She asked.

"...Roll over!" I shout out as I jump off the pup as she rolls over and Luna gives a surprised shout. I walk around Sasha and lean down to the blue muzzle sticking out from under Sasha's tummy. "And now I forgive you too." I say with a smile as Luna groans in annoyance and with a blue flash teleports a few feet to her left and got up.

"For that thou can expect the rubber ducky nightmare tonight." Luna said causing me to give a nervous gulp as she teleported away. My feeling of dread was interrupted however by a large wet nose as one of Sasha's heads bumped me and gave me a sad look.

"Awww, I'm ok Sasha. Here let's play some more." I say as I once again lift the frisbee with my magic causing Sasha to get happy again as her three heads pant and her tail wags as she lowers her front half in that way dogs do when they're ready to play and I let it fly as I give a mental command to my imps to dig out a very large room for my new pet to live in.


Later in the dungeon.


A few of my minions watched from the doorway in curiosity as the imps dug out the largest room yet and they wanted to see what it was. The strange part is that the imps didn't just give it a very high ceiling and made it far wider than anything they could think of using it as practical space. But they also dug down deeply so that it had a pit where the floor should be and now there is a portal on the ceiling with a lot of dirt coming out to fill the hole and the imps are just spreading it around. When the room was done I created a large portal and brought Sasha to her new home which now has lots of room for her to run around and play and soft dirt to dig in.

"Cerberus!?" Trixie shouted in shock from the doorway.

"No this is my new puppy Sasha. She's one of Cerberus's pups." I correct her.

"That's just a puppy!?" Trixie shouts in shock before getting a sick look on her face. "Trixie is having a very unhappy flashback."

"Don't be that way, come say hi." I say as I waved them over. Only my bodyguards, Table Top the Corpse Collector, Trixie and Vinyl did so while the others decided to leave. "Go ahead and pet-" I began to say before I felt a strange tugging. Is that a summons? I never felt one like that before but I've never gotten one without hearing the summoner's call "I think I'm getting a call from a displaced. Swift, Unyielding, Table, you'll be my escort to see what's going on and I'll decide on who else to call in from their." I instruct as I open a portal for us to go through. After the portal closes the two remaining ponies looked up at the giant three headed puppy they had just been left alone with.

"Um...good dog?" Trixie said nervously.


We cut to a empty room with white walls before Pinkie Pie comes on to the screen.

"Hi every po- human! We're sorry but the guy we did the crossover that this spot was supposed to be linked to deleted all of his chapters. Now we did look through old Docs but we only found the next crossover but not this first one. So I was asked to fill in the spot here so nohuman gets confused later on." At this Pinkie pulls a short wall out of nowhere and dives behind it. Shortly after two sock puppets pop up from behind the wall. Both had paper wings glued to their backs and the tips of pencils glued over the mouths as beaks.

"Bla bla bla the force, bla bla bla dark side." One of the puppets said to the other. "Oh look! This thingy fells like a deep and overwhelming pit of darkness... I'm gona poke it with a stick!"

"Woowoowoowoo!" Went the sound effects. After which new sock puppets entered the stage.

"Ewww! What's that smell!" The puppet with whiskers asked.

"We're made from Rainbow Dash's workout socks. She is embarrassed by them so she never takes them out of her room to wash them." The griffin puppet answered. "Now, bla bla dark side bla."

"Bla bla necromancy bla." The whiskered puppet replied.

"BLA!? Bla bla disturbing the dead bla!?" The griffin puppet exclaimed.

"Bla bla corpse puppets bla." whiskered puppet replied.

"Blaaa." The griffin pupped gave an excepting nod.

"One moment, my pet dog is trying to eat my pet Trixie." Whiskered puppet said before sinking below the wall and returning with a wet sock wearing a paper witch's hat.

"Why does the great and powerful Trixie get made from the freshly used sock?!" The new puppet demanded.

"Because you were in a dog's mouth and that sock was already wet." Whisker puppet answered.

"Bla bla bla, talking bla."

Bla bla bla world conquest bla."

"Bla bla?"

"Bla."

"Time to go home bla!" The whiskered fox exclaimed before all of the sock puppets sunk below the wall and Pinkie pupped back up.

"And that's how it all happened! Now back to your fanfiction! Shoo, shoo."


A portal opened up in a grassy area surrounded by trees with a rainbow overhead and I and my minions rose up out of it.

"Trixie didn't like him" Trixie said with a frown.

"He was a little extreme wasn't he." I said.

"He was talking about global conquest for him and his changeling friend. He even monolauged. He was the most disturbing individual Trixie had ever been in the same room with."

"Yes but we don't know enough to assume anything. We only got his side and you can't always judge by general behavior but by action. With him we're in a wait and see situation. From what I recall of the force it doesn't work exactly the same way as magic in our world. The dark side isn't in itself corrupting anymore than the light side. It's just easier and it's the lack of effort to get the power that causes corruption. It’s for that reason that I worked hard to hone my power. And why every day I take some time to think about those I've seen who were corrupted by power, dark or otherwise. I think of all the horrible things they've done and I tell myself that's not going to be me. I'm not going to become that. I urge you to do the same." I tell her getting a small nod from her. I give her a smile though. "I am proud of you though. You looked temptation in the eye and stood your ground." I tell her as I give her a pat on the back and she smiles up at me.

"Where are we anyways? I don't recognise any of the flora around us. Are we on the wrong continent? Or did I overshoot our world?" I ask as I look around.

"Hi!" A friendly sounding voice called out as a strange looking pony came running up to us from the woods. "Hello new friends! My name is Rose Glider. Want to come to my tea party? It will be by the lake where the sea ponies sing shoo be doo!" She asked in a way to happy voice.

"What Trixie said about him being the most disturbing individual Trixie had ever seen...Trixie takes it back." Trixie said as she gets behind me.

"You talk silly." The pony giggled.

"Ok we're either on the grounds of a funny farm or this pony has been into the wrong kinds of plants." I say as I give her a strange look.

"Plants? I love plants! I have a garden that grows magical flowers." She said as her eyes and smile grows wider.

"Well that was a short lived mystery." I say with a deadpan.

"Oh, I know let's go to the spa and get makeovers! Your tall friend looks like she needs one with that cracked skin." Rose said as she looked up at Table Top which caused him to be torn between being confused at her reaction at seeing such a large undead and angry that she somehow thought he was a mare.

"And maybe you could meet our human friend Megan and maybe she can show you her locket that holds the magical rainbow-"

"Ok definitely overshot let's try again." I say interrupting her as I create a portal that all of my minions quickly jumped into.

The Heated is on! (Edited)

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"Mmm...no...no don't... DUCKY!" I shout out in fear as I shoot up in bed and force a squeak out of Squeaky with a crushing hug as I hold her tight.

"You have issues." Squeaky said up to me, giving me an idea to help calm myself down. I take her in my paws and give her a squeeze and give a small smile as she lets out a squeak. I then repeat the process again and again until I'm fully calmed down. "Feel better?" Squeaky asked me as she squirmed in my paws in an attempt to get more comfortable. Look at her helplessly squirming in my paws. I bet she would feel amazing trapped in my- My thoughts screech to a stop as I shake my head. Where did that come from?

"Yes I'm fine." I answer as I stretch then I put her away and locked her in her dollhouse. I climb out of bed but stop when I step on something and look down to see a book that sends a message into my mind through the contact.

“I am the Tactician Robin, wielder of the Levin blade and master of the Arcane! I am the greatest strategist the world has ever known, able to lead those to victory despite all odds! Should you have need of my knowledge, write within this book your plight and I shall know of it! Should your cause be worthy, you will have my help!”

He might be fun to play some RTS games with. Hmmm... I'm going to troll him. I think to myself as I open the book and start writing some of the recent events in my life as if I was writing a diary to see how he would react.

Dear Diary

I decided to start a diary today. First of all I got a new puppy! I named her Sasha. Celly and Lulu gave it to me as an I'm sorry for putting a magic suppressing collar on your neck, tying you up, putting a muzzle on you and dragging you to a coronation and forcing you to become a princess present. She is very slobbery but very playful and adorable! She even played fetch with Celestia but I have a suspicion that Celly doesn't like being grabbed out of the air or being inside of a dog's mouth as she didn't look like she was having fun sitting there covered in dog drool.

Celestia also wants me to stop putting curses on the noble's and making the disembodied voice of Morgan Freeman narrate their lives. Honestly it's not like I hurt any of them and the curses were temporary so what's wrong with punishing a greedy noble for trying to trick me into giving them full access to the treasury?

Also I was summoned by another displaced recently who was a dark side user from star wars. He wanted to meet me because I'm of the darkness myself but he was put off by my necromancy and seemed a bit extreme so I'll have to wait and see how he turns out before I call him friend. Speaking of which I'm seeing a pattern here. The only displaced I've summoned or have been summoned by have been displaced as characters that were villains.

Regardless of who they get displaced as it's good to have friends. Especially seeing that like other displaced out there I'm being attacked by the type of enemies the character I was displaced as would fight and they're not stupid. They haven't used the same tactic twice and they are well trained and equipped so they're giving us some trouble. They also seem to have some strange characters in their ranks. The first boss fight was against a guy in nothing but a pink diaper with glitter on it that looked like it was used by a small child for arts and crafts. He was so overweight that he could roll himself around like a ball and had such a disregard for personal hygiene that he had some kind of fungus growing between the folds of his fat and he fought by trying to do attacks from different anime characters without their powers.

I guess I should be going now as I have work to do and need to get back at Luna for giving me the rubber ducky nightmare.

-Rin

"It's funny because it's true." I say as I close the book and set it aside to check for an update later before I walk out of my room and down the hall where I bump into Octavia who is distracted, watching the tiny changelings as they scuttle about inside the toy city inside the large tank. My attention however was drawn somewhere else. Look at that juicy, succulent rump. I just want to sink my teeth...Ok, why am I so horny? I quickly regain focus when I relies that Octavia is talking to me.

"I'm sorry?" I ask in an apologetic tone.

"I asked if you smelled something strange...are you alright?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes I'm fine. And as a vampire you have a much more powerful sense of smell so you will smell many new things for a while still.

"Yes I noticed." She said as her muzzle scrunched up in disgust. "I can't understand how Vinyl can stand the smells she makes. I had to wash her by force in that strange solution. I wish clean water didn't hurt like it did but a lady must keep up with personal hygiene." Forcefully wash? Wet lesbian vampires wrestling in the bath- NO! Bad brain! "Anyways I'm glad I caught you. There is something I wish to discuss with you." Octavia said to me.

"Alright, walk and talk with me." I say as I continue on my way to feed and have some morning playtime with Sasha.

"Well, it's about the training Vinyl has been giving me. I am getting stronger but I'm not really the brawling type and I was wondering if I could get some other kind of training for a different role?"

"And what do you want to do?" I ask.

"I don't know, something that would keep me away from any battles." She said nervously.

"Hmmm, Would you prefer to be a sniper? You would hide and use a long range weapon to attack while staying away from the action." I say as I think about another vampire girl from an anime. I could call up handsome Jack's company and get her a large, heavy sniper rifle custom built to fire special ammo.

"Yes! I could do that!" She said with a look of relief on her face.

"Alright, I'll arrange to get you a sniping weapon and then you can switch to 75% sniper training but I still want you to train as normal till then and 25% of the melee training after you start your new training because I want you to be able to defend yourself should you be found." I tell her as we enter Sasha's room. I tend to the dog doo sending it away through a portal. I then use my 'hand of evil' to collect a large number of chickens and dumped them into her food dish. With that done I clean her water dish and refill it with fresh water.

"Sasha! Come get your num nums!" At my call Sasha's heads shoots up and she hops out of her giant doggy bed. She runs up to her bowls and sticks her heads into the food dish and just starts inhaling her meal. In no time she is washing them down with a drink of water and then runs over to me scaring Octavia causing her to duck behind me. When she gets to me I can still hear the panicked clucking of the chickens she failed to chew in her haste coming from inside her. Sasha gives me the standard greeting of covering me in her slobbers before I push her away.

"Alright, alright, calm down. I have time for one game, go pick a toy girl!" I say causing her to run over to the giant dog toys I created for her and return with the rope in her mouth. "Tug of war? Alright, let's go." I say as I walk up and wrap my tails around one end and we start pulling. Though I was cheating and my tails wrapping around my end were hiding the magical grasp I had on the rope and using it I walked around the room while pulling Sasha around like a sled. I smile at the dropped jaw of Octavia before she shook herself out of it and left the room.

My merry morning stroll with my dog around the room was interrupted when a shadow seeped up through the ground and pulled out a soul cage as it took the shape of Nightmare with a huge grin.

"Have fun hunting your prey?" I ask getting a happy nod from her. "Good, now lets see what you brought me." I say as I pull the ghost from the soul cage.

"Un-hoof me beast! Do you know who I am?! I am the prince of darkness! Raise my ire and I will consume your soul!" The ghost shouts in rage as he thrashes about in an attempt to get free from my paws.

"That's strange considering my royal title is princess of darkness." I say with a deadpan. This guy is way to weak to be making such boasts. He stopped and gave me a strange look at my words before looking up at the giant three headed dog still trying to pull the rope away but I was still keeping it anchored with my magic. He then looked over at Nightmare who was leaning in with a look of anticipation for his reaction. He then looked around and saw that he was underground and his mind gave him a conclusion based on the evidence before him.

"I'M IN TARTARUS!" He shouts in panic as his eyes widen into saucers. "You don't understand it was all for my research! And the curse was a just punishment for my murder! All of the ones who died from it were evil I swear! And I'm sure the children in that family would have grown up to be door to door sales ponies so I did nothing wrong! I don't belong here you must believe me!" He begged as he redoubled his efforts to escape me.

"What were your exact words?" I asked in an even tone causing him to freeze and stare at me. "Raise my ire and I will consume your soul?" I quoted causing him to become even more panicked but before he could do anything I chomped down on him. Thanks to the spells I'm using to do this he can feel my sharp teeth sink into him as I began chewing, causing him to wail in agony before I swallowed. Nightmare flew under me and pressed her head to my stomach to enjoy the screaming. I shake my head at this before bringing him back up. I was disappointed at how little power he had. Figuring he might know something interesting I dig into his mind but again am disappointed. This guy is just an amateur.

"How disappointing, you have nothing of value to offer. Now what am I going to do with you?" I ask aloud.

"Please let me go! I'll do anything you want. I'll be your devoted servant and use my powers in your name!" He pleaded, obviously not realizing that I've already taken his magic. I just shake my head as I come to a decision and begin my spell to force him into the afterlife, whatever he brought on himself. His panic grew as red hot chains rose up from the ground and he screamed in pain as the burning shackles clamped into his neck and legs and his screams was enough to turn blood to ice as he was dragged to his eternity. It would have been kinder to just digest him or to feed him to Sasha but I understand that fully digesting souls comes with horrible consequences. I feel sick about what just happened as is common when witnessing someone getting dragged to their damnation but I'm sure I'll get over it after awhile. Especially seeing my brain refuses to think straight as I find my mind wandering to chains and their uses causing me to shake my head again. What is with me!? I haven't been this bad since the last time I was... My eyes widened as it hit me. It's been so long thanks to the stoning that I had forgotten about it.

"I'm in heat." I groan at the realization. Well there is only one thing to do in this situation...

On my way to my room I stopped by the torture chamber where my changelings were playing with the tools and gave the secret password to let them know what I wanted them to do.

“I’m horny.” The reaction was immediate as with a massive green blaze the room was now full of female, humane, supermodels who jumped up excitedly and ran over to me where I picked them up in my magic and took them to my room. Not much of a code word but I would have gotten the same reaction if I said I wanted a sandwich. I dumped all of them on my bed before locking the door. No one is leaving until I let them when I’m no longer in heat...in a few days. I walk over to the bed and dived right in.


One week later.


I lean back in my bed with a pipe in my mouth that would occasionally blow bubbles. “Finally, it's over. I hate going into heat it's so hard to control myself.” I say to no one in particular as all twenty changelings, most of which were passed out in the pile I was laying on. One changeling moaned and purred happily as she rubbed her tummy with joy in her eyes. I gave her a questioning look to which she responds to by snuggling up to me.

"Oh mistress. That was amazing. Your flexibility, your energy, your savagery! We never collected so much love in such a short time before. And so creative in using the former queen like that and the way you used that token!" She said sleepily as she rubbed her face into my chest fur.

"Wait token? I used a displaced token as a toy? Which one?" I asked her to which she answered by moving a bit and showing me that she had been sitting on the sleeping face of Asphyxious in his human form. My eyes twitch before I pull him out of the pile only getting a mumble from the exhausted. "Asphyxious our contract is complete." I whispered causing him to be sucked into a portal without waking. "I swear if he took advantage of me!" I say getting a snort from another changeling.

"No worries mistress he never touched you though not from a lack of trying. You beat him off every time." Another changeling said from between my legs.

"Oh good." I say with relief as I lean back into what I'm using as a pillow though I'm not sure what part of the changeling under me it is.

"But the rest of us are pregnant!" The first changeling said causing my eyes to widen. Changeling queens can have up to fifty eggs in one go but the average ones can have up to ten so with all twenty of them pregnant that's around two hundred babies! Between my exhaustion and shock I passed out.

Hours of Suffering and a Pain in the Back. (Edited)

View Online

I groan as a write 'Rejected' on the papers I had in front of me before setting them in the reject pile.

"There you are aunty. I've been looking for you all week. I heard you groan, are you ok?" Celestia asked as she walked into the room.

"No. While I was...indisposed with being in heat for a week all this paperwork built up!" I complain as I grab the next set of papers in my to do pile. In the corner of my eye I could see Celestia shiver when I said I was in heat. Undoubtedly some images had just popped into her head against her will. "Though it seems I underestimated the nobility's since of humor. They have got to be trolling me with some of laws they want me to pass."

"Yes well, it was a bit short notice. And I don't think they're trolling you aunty. I've never known them to have a good sense of humor and they have tried getting some pretty ridiculous laws passed by myself as well." Celestia said causing me to raise an eyebrow and grab one of the picture frames I have set in a pile of the ones I wanted to keep because they made me laugh.

"This one is to make it so that any who plan to commit a crime in the city of Canterlot are legally required to contact the guard and tell them about it before they do it." I say with a deadpan but Celestia just shrugs.

"That seems like something they would think of." She replies with a completely serious look on her face.

"...Ok." I say as I pull another one out. "How about this one to make it illegal to die?"

"It is widely accepted that death is a part of your domain. They probably think you can abolish it." Celestia replied with a smile.

My eye twitches and I grab the next one. "How about one that would make it illegal to kiss ponies too many times if you have a moustache?" And she just gives a knowing smile so I pull out another. "This one is to make it illegal to have sexual intercourse with a porcupine." I say while giving her a questioning look.

"... Ok, that one is pretty bad. But I'm sad to say I still don't think it's a joke." Celestia said with a shake of her head before looking around. "By the way, why are you working in here?" I was about to answer but then the buzzer went off so instead I just opened the washing machine and using my magic I brought the drenched doll out and gave it a few test sniffs before smiling.

"It took eight runs through the wash on high but you finally have the sniffer's seal of approval." I say happily.

"For that week...completely worth it." Squeaky said before burping out a bubble that floated across the room and popped on Celestia's nose which to everyone's confusing released a squeak that was trapped inside. I try to think about how that would work but soon shrugged it off to save myself the headache and tossed Squeaky into the drier and turned it on. "Still... worth...it!" Squeaky shouted out from inside the machine as it spun her around.

"Is she going to be ok? And why is she being washed?" Celestia asked with a look of concern.

"She'll be fine. During that week I learned that those under the dollification spell are surprisingly durable. As for the second question do you really want to know of the places I put her when I was in heat?" I asked earning a gag from her.

"I didn't need to picture that!" Celestia said with a shudder.

"Don't...knock it...till you...tried it!" Squeaky called out from the machine.

"I'm not having this conversation." Celestia said with finality. "In an hour we are to attend a meeting with some dignitaries concerning trading and I want you to sit in on this and learn. The quicker you learn the less likely you're going to make a poor decision like the time I ordered an entire city be built entirely out of cake." Celestia said with a smile. "And it was delicious."

"Thanks...I think. I'll be at the meeting." A say to her getting a smile as I give her a hug before she stood up and turned to leave. I kept a straight face when I saw writing in red paint on her rump that stuck from the paper she just sat on to free her fore hooves for that hug without her noticing. Warning! Volatile explosive and toxic gas!

Rin... I may have need of your forces, and bring the big guy, I think he'll enjoy taking down Sith I blink at the voice in my head. It didn't sound like he wanted me there now. From his tone it sounded like he wanted me to prep my forces. With a shrug I sent the mental command to prepare a flying Dutchman. I can pick who else to take when I get there and see what's going on. I get back to reading the paper and groan at seeing that it's another attempt to get me to create a law that would greatly benefit the nobles and nothing else. Rejected.


Later in the meeting hall.


I looked around at the room. The walls glowed with magical runes to ensure privacy. The table looked like it was made with some high quality wood that was highly decorated with pictures of all the different people of this world. The table was woefully empty with only the princesses, shining armor, the zebra representative, the panda representative and the Shovel Snouts representative. Which are desert dwelling, bipedal lizard people known for being able to burrow through the soft sands where tunnels can't be made and their funky dance moves.

"Well now that Rin is here we can finally get started." Shining said though he gave me an angry look.

"Please forgive him. He's still a little upset about the wedding presents you brought to our wedding." Cadence said to me nervously.

"What? You didn't like them? I thought those toys would be great gifts for you two to play with after a stressful day. Don't you use them?" I asked with a sad face though most of the room was blushing.

"Oh no we use them!" Cadence said quickly. "He's just embarrassed that he took them out of the package and the press took pictures."

"It made it in the papers." Shining Armor said while giving me the stink eye.

"But we still use them." Cadence assured me. "I enjoyed the tentacle thing. And the slime was fun too even though it ruined my hammer." Most of the room was staring wide eyed at her with burning red faces. "The pointy thing with the chompy teeth and the big thing with the drill was an interesting challenge to work with. And it's more fun when we bring some friends over to join in." Now the room was filled with choking sounds and Wang Blow and the lizard man had fallen out of their chairs. "Oh, are you two ok?"

"Princess! Please keep such things to yourself!" The panda demanded.

"...Why? Is there something wrong with playing Ogres and Oubliettes?" Cadence asked with genuine confusion. Must...keep...straight...face.

"...I beg your pardon?" The panda asked as he got back up.

"Ogres and Oubliettes. Rin gave us several miniatures including some custom ones of us, some dice, and some campaigns. It even had this adorable little Shiny in the most adorable little, frilly dress for this one campaign about bubble wrap." She squeed a little until she looked at the looks on almost everyone's faces. "Why? What did you think I was talking about?"

"Nothing!" Celestia quickly interrupted with a panicked shout. "We're getting off topic. Lets get back to the meeting." She said as a large stack of papers materialize in front of each of us. "It should only take about five hours." She said enthusiastically and it takes all of my willpower not to cry.


Four and a half hours later.


"And I think that concludes this meeting." Celestia said with a smile. Finally! Freedom! I get up and stretch but before I could walk out I hear a voice in my head. Rin! We need you here! I groan as I create a portal.

"Got to go check on something. See you all later." I say before I jump in.

(Because the other writer deleted his story I had to dig up the old Doc to get it and put it here.)

Namiro panted a little as he reached the Palace courtyard where several Crystal ponies were huddling in a panic around the shattered remains of a false Crystal Heart. “That’s not good… not good at all…” He muttered before turning towards a source of Dark Side energy that was manifesting as a cloud of smoke.

“...Crystals…” A gravelly voice hissed as the cloud grew, sending out spheres of smoke that landed in the city. “Take the Crystals my warriors!”

“Namiro…” The voice managed to catch the attention of the changeling, drawing his gaze towards a black and grey Griffon. “We have to get rid of these Sith!” He calls before charging off, drawing and lighting a crimson saber as several black robed unicorns began making their way towards the palace with similar crimson blades.

The changeling quickly took off after him, lighting up his lime-green saber on its minimum settings. “N-Nick!? When did you get here?”

“I arrived just after you did. There’s no time to explain though-...” The griffon was interrupted as the large cloud of smoke shot towards them, both of the non-Sith leapt out of the way, though Namiro winced as he felt something cut across his arm.

“Son of a-!” His eyes widen as the familiar feeling of those deadly force-stealing crystals begins to grow along his arm. Dark-robed unicorns surrounded Namiro and Nikolaus as the two of them leveled their blades, each of the ones surrounding the changeling and griffon had a strange type of metal armor on. The unicorns lit up their blades as well, unleashing a bright blood-red haze over the battlefield as screams could be heard in the background.

Nikolaus let his lightning power up the Dungeon Keeper charm once again “Rin! We need you here!” He shouts as he tosses the charm back towards one of the smaller ruined buildings.

The ground behind them cracked and opened into a dungeon keeper portal before the two black knights from before came out followed by Rin.

“Ok what...oh my.” Said Rin as she got a look of concentration on her face resulting in the portal kicking up again and a small army of skeletons crawled out followed by two mares. The first one was a white unicorn with an electric blue mane and stylish glasses while the other was a grey earth pony with a black mane and a pink bowtie. Next to come out was something that looked like a filly wraith that floated out and flew around Rin. Then the portal opened much wider and a large metal ship with a giant fox mask on the front floated up from it’s depths and into the sky, manned by green ghost ponies. The ship’s cannons already swerving about as if trying to pick a target. Lastly to come out was the hulking Corpse Collector who had a look on his face like a kid in a candy store. With that the portal closed and Rin charged up her magick and hit Namiro with a healing spell that heals most wounds but avoided the area with the crystals.

“Ok, kind of sudden but I think I’m ready.” Rin said as she crouched in a fighting stance.

The large changeling panted a bit as the elite guard closed in around them. “Well… as nice as that was… there wasn’t… too much… of a change…” He all but wheezed out as he brought his blade up in a defensive position.

“Rin! I can help Namiro with the elites here, I need you to make sure the Crystal ponies are safe, Twilight’s almost got the Crystal Heart in place. If you could at least slow Sombra down that would help a lot.” Nick called over the blizzard as he brought his blade to bear on one of the elite guards, mimicked by the changeling as he brought a lime-green saber against the red-colored one of the elite warriors.


“...Alright but my minions and I are getting out of dodge before they use that thing. Love magic and my magic have proven to make a volatile mix.” Rin said as she charged up her magic and shouted out. “Move out to defend the citizens! Get them safely to the palace!” Before casting her spell causing one of the elite guards to flash and change the colors of their robes from black to red and he quickly turned on his fellows killing one thanks to the surprise. “Keep an eye on that one! The turn coat spell doesn't last long!”


“The magic works differently here, as long as you don’t intend to harm the empire, it won’t affect you… that’s why it will destroy Sombra!” Nick replied as he ducked a saber swing and sliced the leg off of one of the unicorns before bringing his blade into the stallion’s chest. As Rin and some of her minions moved out but the skeletons charged forward and attacked the forces. Most of the attacking Sith were still alive, despite the initial surprise, and it seemed that their robes had been reinforced with The Force to make them as durable as metal armor. Still, numbers were definitely to the advantage of the skeletons as several Sith acolytes were overwhelmed by the undead horde that was basically running rampant through the city.

Namiro readjusted the grip on his blade as he struck out at another of the guards, the impact not even leaving a mark as the Sith warrior was sent sprawling. “So… you’re Rin… It’s good to meet a new friend… but we’ll have to chat later…” He pants as he gives a small glance back at the Kitsune.

“Ya, likewise. Do survive this please while I go on my rescue mission.” Rin replied before she cast a spell on herself and ran off at high speeds followed by the two mares and the ship, knight's, corpse collector and wraith at a slower pace.

Namiro looked over at Nick quickly. “Well, friend… what have you been up to while I was… becoming a king?” He chuckled hollowly as he deflected a saber blade.

“Oh, nothing much… pretty much doing the same.” Nick chuckled back.

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

Rarity scowled as she lit up the white-bladed lightfoil that was given to her. “Those… those… Bastards! Will pay for ruining my mane!” She shouted as she stomped out of the castle, followed closely by several guards that were armed with spears. “Boys… you need to escort your citizens to the castle… please do be good lads and do that…” Rarity requested calmly as she strode out of the castle, put off by the red-bladed attackers fighting against the undead horde. “Okay… who brought the dead?” She sighs with a slight frown.

“This way everypony! You’re almost there. Nice and orderly ple- WA!” A cultured voice called out before a small stampede of crystal ponies came charging up to the palace. When Rarity turned she was surprised to see the renowned cellist Octavia who managed to move to the other side of the street with surprising speed to avoid the panicked ponies. “Or you can act like Vinyl’s groupies.” The grey earth pony deadpanned as she stepped back and let some skeletons rub by without batting an eye.

“O-Octavia?” Rarity asked in shock as she cautiously approached the mare. “You’re looking a bit more… Um…” She hesitated as she flourished her left hand a little, trying to find the word to use. Octavia looked over to Rarity as she walked up to her with some confusion at first before turning into recognition. “Well… Feral…” Rarity floundered as she gave the grey mare a once-over. “Whatever did you do to your eyes Darling? They used to be such a lovely shade of violet.” She held one arm under her modest bosom while keeping her white saber at the ready.

“Oh, that. Well you know how it is. Crazed ponies on a quest for murder tried to get information and I got caught in the crossfire and, well...They killed me. Thanks to getting a little blood from a vampire on me during the fight I got turned so...ya. That happened.” Octavia said uncomfortably, obviously not sure if she should even be telling Rarity this.

“I see…It is too bad that you turn into a feral earth pony as a vampire... though… if you wouldn’t mind, I have a few unicorns that need to be taught how to properly treat a lady…” She growls before casting a depressed look at the frayed and burnt end of what was once an elegant curl. She takes a small breath before looking back out at the gathered Sith. “These men will know one way… or another… Care to join me?” She asks.

“I am not feral! I have full control of my actions.” Octavia said indignantly. “That being said I am here with some others to find crystal ponies and get them to safety but I guess I could look for them and join you. Any who would aim for the mane deserves a good thrashing.”

“Oh no Darling, Feral is the term for ponies born as quadrupeds… a fairly rare occurrence but still one that happens nonetheless. Poor dears…” Rarity explained as she seemed to make a few gemstones appear out of the air before they sailed through the air into the arm of one of the Sith warriors. “Oh… as disgusting as it is for a lady to enjoy such an action, I can’t help but find I don’t mind since they’ve taken the cheap shot.”

“Oh..I see. My mistake. You see I’m not your Octavia but one from another dimension. One where everypony is like this. This is my first time world hopping and I must say it is a shame that such an amazing place have its first viewing in such a state.” She said sadly as she lifted a piece of broken crystal wall bigger than the two of them combined and threw it like a beach ball as a group of sith warriors charging at them.

Two of the warriors barely managed to dodge the wall while the rest were crushed. Rarity made a face like she had just sucked on a lemon. “Those stains will be so hard to get out…” She sighed as she made her way forward. “Tell me dear, how much different is your world compared to mine?” the marshmallow-white unicorn asked with a heightened sense of curiosity.

“I’m afraid I don’t know. As I said this is my first trip with princess Rin and I haven’t been here long.” Octavia answered with an apologetic frown.

“Well then, perhaps you can tell me a bit about yours… and then perhaps I can compare it to mine and give you a better look?” Rarity suggested as she brought her blade up to deflect the warrior’s blade. “Really dear? You call yourselves Sith warriors and even a weekend fencing practitioner can deflect your attacks?” She taunts.

The unicorn mare in the black robes growls a little at the fashionista before bringing her blade down heavily in an overhead strike but Octavia struck forth with a hoof and knocked her back and into a wall.

“My condition does come with it’s perks. Super speed and strength are nice at times.” Octavia said as she watched the sith warrior fly.

Rarity brought her blade up again to stop the crimson blade of the last warrior. “That’s all well and good, although we really should be finishing off these louts so that we can find dear Fluttershy.” Octavia’s eyes widened at those words.

“Fluttershy is alone out here? Well why didn’t you say so sooner?” Octavia said as she turned around to give the last Sith a strong buck.

Rarity let out a small grimace. “Well… she’s not alone alone… just… she’s got a small group of guard with her, one I believe was named Flash Sentry… I do hope the young man hasn’t gotten himself hurt in all this mess while protecting her.” Rarity let her free hand flip her mane a little as she started her way out into the city. “Well, we had best get going… no clue where that good for nothing Sombra is.”

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

Fluttershy had a very uncharacteristic scowl on her face… there were also several bodies of Sith warriors strewn about on the ground as she was slowly breathing. The red saber that she had taken from one of the warriors was clenched so tightly in one hand that it was making her knuckles white.

“O-oh my…” Rarity stuttered as she took a few cautious steps towards the jousting arena.

“...Well...I’m not entirely certain about this but I think i found a difference in our worlds.” Octavia said in surprise as she looked at Fluttershy.

As soon as she noticed the two other ponies that were approaching Fluttershy looked down at the saber in her hand and quickly let go of it with an ‘eep’ of surprise while recoiling away like it was a snake. Quickly regaining her composure she raced over to Rarity to pull her into a firm hug. “Omigosh Rarity! Are you alright!? Those mean Sith hurt a lot of the ponies before I got here and then they cut off Mister Sentry’s hand right in front of me… I’m so sorry… I… I just…” the timid pegasus quickly tried to explain why there were now many more Sith bodies fading into a black mist before she simply began to bawl into her friend’s embrace.

Rarity gently stroked her friend’s back. “There, there Fluttershy… you only did it to protect the others… you saved so many… I’m proud of you.”

“R-really?” Fluttershy asked with a slight sniff, smiling once Rarity had nodded. She turned her head a little to see the pony standing next to her before letting out an adorable little squee. “Ohmigosh! Octavia! I… I never knew you were a feral! I saw your concert at the Grand Galloping Gala this year, did you have Vinyl make an illusion so that you wouldn’t get any bad press?” She asked with concern as she quickly knelt down to give the pony a reassuring hug.

“One side!” Vinyl’s voice shouted out as she ran by on all fours, carting several wagons that were tied together like a train with crystal ponies riding in them and another quadrupedal pony in black armor standing on top, ready to attack anything that went after the passengers. This sight was visible for only a short time before the train had moved on.

...And Fluttershy seemed to have missed it as she managed to lift up Octavia with a surprising amount of strength that even managed to make Rarity and most of the onlooking Anthro ponies gasp in surprise. Fluttershy looked around in slight confusion for a few seconds before simply shrugging. “What? I have to take care of a bear at home… what do you think he does if he gets a sliver in his paw?” She turned her attention back to Octavia to give her a hug. “Don’t worry Octavia, I’ll make sure you get home to your wife.”

“That’s thoughtful and all but I can take care of myself dear.” Octavia said politely before pushing the mare’s arms open and landing on the floor like a cat and backing up a short distance with super speed.

Rarity put a hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Really Fluttershy… this Octavia is not from our world…” At the mare’s confused look Rarity shook her head. “We’ll have time to talk later, it’s best to get everypony to safety now.”

“Indeed, everypony please gather round so we can get you to the palace.” Octavia called out to the crystal ponies and Flash. Each of the anthro ponies complied to the request, Fluttershy helped the injured guard over to the rest of the group.

“O-okay… w-w-we’re ready…” Fluttershy stuttered. Rarity gave Octavia a nod as the last of the ponies gathered around.

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

Pinkie had a manic grin on her face as several of the Sith warriors nearby hesitated, the black masks they wore were covering looks of worry or fear as the pink party mare had four cannons pointed at them. “There’s just one thing you boys-...”


“Hey!”

“-And girl, have to ask yourselves… ‘do I feel lucky?’...” She pulled on a cord attached to one of the cannons. “well… do ya? Punks?” She smirked as a loud, mechanical whirring sound could be heard as the cannons seemed to simply multiply until there was a wall of artillery simply aimed at the Sith warriors. Their nerves were shaken as a pink light began to emanate from within most of the barrels, most split and bolted for the nearest cover as Pinkie simply pulled a second cord.

And on that day… a loud, thunderous boom echoed across the planet Equus, signaling that the ultimate weapon in party artillery had finally been fired.

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

“Sister… dost thou still think it a good idea that neither of us go? What if Namiro proves to be not enough for Sombra?” Luna asked as she let her revolving chair continue to spin while giving her sister an irate look every few seconds.

“Luna, I am completely sure that Twilight will be able to handle-...” Celestia stopped mid-sentence as the two of them were knocked over from the shockwave of the Party Artillery Wall (PAW, patent pending). Celestia was the first to recover. “...On second thought Sister… it may be a good idea for us both to check on their progress…”

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

Applejack was panting a little as she frowned at the warriors surrounding her. “Consarnit all! Why’d ya have ta join his side? Ya coulda jus’ been fine, friendly folk…” The farm mare grumbled as she hefted a spear from one of the injured Crystal Guards. “I’mma have ta fix that though.” Several of the Sith warriors turned their attention to the approaching skeletons just before Applejack facepalmed. “Really now? Someone dun’ gone and raised the dead, have y’all got no respect?!” She shouted as she brought the spear up.

There was a blast and a cry of pain as one of the sith was taken down by a magic blast before several more flew at the Sith warriors from behind as a train of tied together carts pulled by what looks like a feral Vinyl Scratch pulled up and unlatched herself and another pony in black armor jumped off and took a defensive stance.

“Need some help?” Vinyl asked Applejack as she glared at the black cloaked ponies.

The farm mare gave a small confused look at Vinyl before shrugging. “I guess… but if those undead belong ta y’all we’re gonna be havin’ words after this.” She replied as she brought the spear up defensively as well.

The Sith warriors were distracted by the large number of undead that were in between the groups of ponies.

“Hey, don’t bash the undead. Just because a heart doesn't beat doesn't mean it can’t break.” Vinyl said with a frown. “Besides it’s my boss you want to talk to. She’s the one doing the hoodoo voodoo.” Vinyl said before charging forward at super speed and tearing into the enemy forces.

“The dead should be laid to rest, it’s only respectful to those that died not ta bring ‘em back, nothin’ but a mockery o’ life with that kind o’ fiddle faddle.” Applejack replies as she brings her spear to bear on another of the warriors, driving the blunt end into his stomach and leaving him in a busted heap on the ground. “Messin’ with life like that is just invitin’ some evil bein’ from beyond ta wreck yer livelihood.”

“Those are just moving bodies without souls or minds. Rin doesn't do the kind of necromancy you’re talking about. And as an undead myself I find what you said offensive.” Vinyl said as she grabbed one of the Sith warriors that was knocked down by the leg and used him as a bludgeoning weapon against the others.

“Bringin’ the dead back ta life is never a good thing. It’s filled with the same sortsa magic mumbo jumbo that keeps these Sith guys goin!” Applejack retorted, snapping off the tip of the spear so that she could just use the rest of the weapon as a pretty firm staff.

“Ya, I can see talking to you about this is a waste of time. I’m not going to debate the rights of the dead and what the living think the rights of the dead are with you. You’ve never been dead so you can’t know what we want.” Vinyl said with annoyance as she ran up to two of the last three sith and bashed their heads together with enough force to break their skulls.

“That’s another thing…” Applejack scolded as she clubbed the last one into unconsciousness. “It’s always kill with the undead, never about keepin’ people alive.” She frowns as she turns to make her way to the castle. “Thanks fer the help…” She calls back.

“Hey I wouldn’t kill them if they weren’t killing themselves! And I already saw several living on our side killing them! On my way to the last drop off at the palace I saw that Fluttershy has a higher body count in this battle than I do so far!” Vinyl called out in irritation before turning to the injured guards. “Alright, anypony that needs a ride to the palace, which looks like all of you, get in the carts.” She said as she and the black knight got to work helping them into the makeshift train.

Applejack chuckled as she made her way towards the castle. “Yeah… right… Fluttershy with a bodycount… girl wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She looked up in slight confusion as a massive shadow began making its way towards the castle. “...Uh oh…”

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

Spike was nervous as he clutched the Crystal Heart to his chest, his own heart was racing a mile a minute as he leapt from outcropping to outcropping trying to keep the heart out of Sombra’s possession. “Give it here, Boy!” The gravelly voice of the ex-dictator growled out as the cloud of smoke that the Sith Legionnaire was riding on made its way towards him. The dragon panted a little in fear as he continued shambling his way across the outside of the Crystal Palace, the only other way he could go was down, but… he would very much rather get down a safer way. He yelped in panic as he was lifted off the ground and started flying downward but when he looked behind him he was surprised to see it wasn’t Sombra that had him but some kind of ghost-like filly. She was black, shadowy and had very dragon-like eyes.

“Good work! You take care of him and I’ll play with rocky here.” A large fox called out as they passed her by.

Sombra growled at the interloper. “You will not have my empire you simple knave… you do not grasp the concept of how much power I have.”

“Oh, are we monaloging now? Ok.” Rin said before she cleared her throat into her paw. Then her body was covered in a black flame and the air was filled with wailing as ghost filled the sky and with a voice that echoed with power Rin spoke. “Do not presume yourself stronger against one you have never faced you fool! For I am the ruler of the dead and now you see that the restless spirits of all those who died under your rule and their loved ones who couldn’t stand to see their loved ones suffer in life come forth to take vengeance on you and drag your withered soul into the deepest pits to your damnation!” She shouted out as the specters surrounding them moved closer with looks of murderous rage.

Sombra simply smirked as his form began to solidify, the smoky contrail that once followed him hardening into armor that shined even without the sun, blood-red runes etched into the armor glowed with an evil aura. “Is that really all the power you have now Rin? You were much stronger when you were first summoned a thousand years ago… before the Princesses placed that ban on necromancy.” He laughed as he stepped away from the shadows with a straight, ebony-black blade that had its own aura of malevolence. “Really… it seems I came over-prepared this time. You don’t even have your pathetic displaced princess friends to come to your aid.”

Rin blinked in confusion at his words. “This is the first time I’ve met you. But I do know someone who got a message from his future self so I guess I can time travel later to play with you again. That’s actually a little boring if you think about it. If I’m going back in time to trash you in my future but your past...what does that say about your chances of winning against me now?” She said with a grin.

“It means that I get to continue on, knowing that I am stronger now than you were then, even in the past you could not truly defeat me…” He replies as he brings his blade up, unleashing a barrage of crystals at her.

“So foolish.” Rin said as she moved around the attack with super speed. “Time is something you don’t mess with lightly lest you risk changing something important to you in the future. Now that I know I face you again I’ll need to hold back so you live for me to fight you know.” Rin countered.

“You’re bluffing… you had twice the strength a thousand years ago, you stand no chance against me now!” He replies as he brings his blade down in a rapid arc towards her side.

“And yet I was there to fight you in my future.” She said with a cheeky grin as the sword went through her and she and the ghosts evaporated into nothing. Revealing that he had been fighting an illusion. In his moment of surprise a green barrier formed around his torso leaving his head and legs outside as he was filled with pain as it started sucking the energy out of him and his armor.

He grits his teeth before smiling. “No matter… if I die here, then at least I get to destroy that changeling before he ascends… as well as that unicorn he loves so much…” He begins to chuckle as he notices a black tendril make its way out of what seemed to be nothing simply to pull him away from the barrier with nary an effort.

”Now is not the time… it is too soon…” a strange bass-voice spoke before forcing the Sith to disappear in a mist like his soldiers. Within moments a warm blue light quickly surrounded the city as the biting cold of the blizzard outside began to fade… along with the clouds that were blocking the light…

“Well that was ominous.” Rin said as she came out of her hiding place. “Guess I should start collecting my skellys. With no more enemies to fight they’re going to start getting into some rather uncomfortable places wandering around.” She said as she closed her eyes and soon skeletons started disappearing off the streets.

“Uhm… Hello?... Anyone out there?” Comes a timid voice from inside the castle. “If… uh… if anyone could help me down… that would be great!” Twilight called.

“One moment...Ok got them all.” Rin said before using a portal to get to the top tower. “One portal to the ground floor coming right up.” Rin said as she created a hole inside Twilight's prison.

The humanoid mare ‘eep’s a little as she hesitantly inches toward the portal. She gulps and tries to steady her nerves before stepping into the portal with closed eyes. She opened one eye to look around.

“Oh Twilight! Darling! It’s so good to see you’re okay!” Rarity says as all of Twilight’s friends gather her in a group hug.

“Well that was something. I almost had Sombra there but it looks like he was the puppet and his master decided he was worth saving. I wonder who that was.” Rin said as she popped out of the hole in the ground and let it close up. “Now where is Nightmare? She should be down here since she was the one to give the baby dragon the lift down.” She asked before the wraith like filly flew up to her and rubbed her head against Rin’s side. “Yes you did very good.” The fox praised as she petted the wraith.

Nick approached the Kitsune with a smile, followed closely by Namiro, “It is good to see you again Rin…” The griffon greeted.

“It's good to see you again to. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have those schematics on you would you? Last time I forgot them.” She said with a sheepish smile.

Nick chuckled as he held out a triangular holocron. “The schematics for a Lightfoil, this way you don’t need to have a force-sensitive person using it.”

“Ohh that's good. I’ll make one for Cluck Norris too. Of all my minions he’s the most likely to get good use out of one. That chicken is a monster in a fight.” She said happily as she took the holocron and sent it to her home with her magic.

Nick took out a hexagon-shaped holocron and the token for Rin and passed them to the changeling. “This is the last time I can help you… I have my own schedule I have to keep now that I’m a king… See you later homie.” He chuckles before he seems to disappear with a *Vwoop*

Namiro’s smile seemed to fall a little as he looked down at the token and holocron before looking at Rin. “So… you’re… a darksider?”

“I guess you can say that. Are you familiar with the dungeon keeper games?” She asked him.

“I… actually can’t say I’ve ever heard of them.” the changeling replied.

“Well it is an old franchise and they ruined it by trying to make a free to play mobile version. It's a game where you play like a dungeon master.You build a dungeon and different rooms attract different creatures and heroes invade or you fight other dungeon keepers. The point is my body produces the dark stuff naturally. I can’t use anything but dark magic so I work with it.” She said with a shrug.

“Well… Nick told me… before all this stuff went down… that in order for me to have actual balance I would have to learn about the light AND dark side. He told me that, perhaps you would be a good mentor to teach me about the Dark side without corrupting me.” Namiro gave a small sigh as he rubbed his recently-freed arm. “Can you teach me?”

“Hmmmm… Lets run a test shall we?” Rin asked as she summoned a samurai sword with a decorative white handle showing mermaid ponies playing in the water and the blade itself gave off a blue glow.

“Where do we have to go for this test?” Namiro asked.

“A far off place would be best. This sword in an enchanted weapon I created to give me some breathing space on the battlefield. It was meant to conjure a wave of water but I went all out and failed to realise how much in power I had grown so one swing of this thing can create a tidal wave and that’s not something I think the crystal ponies want suddenly appearing in their city.” Rin said before creating a portal. “See you in the badlands.”

His eyes widen, “NO!” He shouts, drawing attention to them as his hands go up. He quickly coughs into his hand and quiets down a little. “There’s uh… practically nowhere on this world where you could use that blade without killing at least one person…”

“...very well we’ll do this in my world.” She said as the portal closes and opens again and she jumps through.

He takes a few moments to send a message along the hive link that hopefully he would be back soon, but that Patina’s father was safe. He swallows nervously before Nick appears again and quickly looks through the portal.

|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|

“Oh, Rin! There’s something I forgot to let you know…” Nick called with a smile.

“What?” her voice echoed through the hole.

“Since he’s a royal changeling… well.. a changeling in general, don’t worry about having him change to suit your tastes. I don’t think he’ll have as good of a connection to The Force while he’s in your world, so he may get his first taste of hunger.” Nick explained with a smile. “See ya!”

Rin just shook her head before closing the portal and presenting the blade. “First thing you must know is using the darkness won’t always have the same result for when you try to use the light with the same technique. This sword was made with a lot of darkness and weapons like that are known as cursed weapons. It has no will or mind but it does have instinct and if you pick up this weapon it will try to take you over. By doing this you will get your first taste of what it's like to have the darkness try to take you over. This is the best way to test how well you can control the darkness without letting it control you as it can be stopped by just taking the blade away.” Rin said before driving the blade into the ground. “This is your test. Pick up the Rusalka Kusugurimasu and maintain control.”

Namiro looked at the blade for a second, frowning as he pulled out the two halves of his saber hilt. “How fast should it start to affect me?” He asks quietly as he lets his small connection to The Force gently stow the two pieces away.

“It's not going to ease into it. Like I said it has no mind or soul so the moment you take hold of it the blade will attack full force to take over. Don't worry about going super soldier on me, it will make you attack with reckless abandonment like my skeletons if it does take over so I would be able to take the blade from you easily regardless of your training thus far.” Rin answered.

“Well, I am no fool, I know that the first time I try I will fail.” the changeling sighs as he reaches out for the handle of the blade. When griped the handle his eyes widened into a trance His smooth plates that were covering his body began to warp and sprout small spikes at the edges. He began to laugh as he pulled it out of the ground and clumsily charged at Rin with the blade raised to strike.

“No resistance at all...Lovely.” Rin deadpanned before using her magic to pull the blade from his grasp. “Now that you felt what it’s like do you still want to do this? If so then I’m going to need to look into your mind to see what kind of guy you are. Refusal or resistance will lead to my refusal to teach you. I can't just start teaching this stuff to the wrong kind of people or it will end horribly.”

He collapses to the ground, panting as his form slowly shifts back to normal. “I… There are some things… that I would prefer… you do not pry… for the safety… of my mate… and her hive.” He pants as he slowly tries to drag himself up from the dirt. “I’ll make it… obvious… where I would not dare… risk my mate’s trust.”

“I’m not going to dig into memories, that goes against my moral code. That method would take forever anyways. I’m just going to go into your subconscious where you can tell no lies and wear no mask. What I will see will be a reflection of who you are, not memories. Just so you know anyone who can teach you what your looking for and doesn't do this isn’t someone you want to learn it from. I need to know you, the real you to be sure you're safe to teach this to...Well as safe as it gets.” She said with a wave of her paw.

He slowly eases himself onto his rump, panting and regaining his composure. “Alright…” He replies quietly as he takes one more deep breath in and out. Rin nods and her eyes glowed green as she makes contact with his mind and immediately dives deep into the darkest depths. When the connection was broken Rin nodded.

“I saw a shining castle with many inside. The walls were strong telling me you are protective of them. Those you love perhaps? I want you to remember them. Let them be your light when the darkness tries to consume you. First things first is you need to understand that the darkness is by its nature, it’s ravenous. It hungers and that's why it's stronger than equivalent amount of light. It feeds to grow stronger and the more you feed it the stronger it gets. But the stronger it gets the more it tries to take so the first thing we're working on is how to cut it off. I’m not going to lie this is going to be extremely unpleasant. Are you ready to begin?” Rin asked. The changeling nods as he stands up again, re-focusing himself as he stands taller than the kitsune.

“Then I’m going to reach out to you with my darkness. It will be weak at first and I will be ready to pull it back if you start to lose to it. It will try to make you feel what it wants so it can gorge itself. It will show you what it can to make you hate or be afraid. I want you to give it something else. If it wants you to hate and shows your loved ones being attacked, focus on your decision to protect them rather than take vengeance.” Rin said as a black cloud reached from one of her tails and touched his horn. The next thing he saw was a dark place. When he moved around he heard a sickening, slushing sound and looked down to see that he was standing in a pool of blood, flesh and organs.

The changeling took a deep breath. “Okay… flash ‘horror’ game level as level one… gotta start somewhere…” He says as he grits his teeth. ”This… is going to take a while…” he mentally groaned as he could already feel his inner Force reserves ebbing away now that he wasn’t on his ‘home’ Equestria.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt something move in the gorey pool that he was standing in and the feel of several things squirming up his legs and grasping at his ankles. The sound of crying filled the air as the form of Sombra emerged from the shadows.

“Oh, I’m glad to see that you finally made it. We were beginning to think you wouldn't show.” He said arrogantly. “Come out my dear. Our guest has arrived.” The distorted form of Sombra said with a sinister smile. A new slushing sound soon began and what came out was a horror indeed. It was the form of his beloved queen. Only her exoskeleton was cracked and broken and she was missing several parts of her body. Large nails with chains attached to them were driven into her flesh and where her eyes should be were empty sockets. Her mouth hangs open with maggots squirming about inside, feasting on her dead flesh.

The only reaction that Namiro gave was a tiny twitch of his right eye. “I already know that this is not real…” The changeling starts to draw Force power through the green crystal in his pouch. “Begone spectre of lies…” He growls.

“Spector of lies? Foolish child, just because this vision isn’t real you think it won’t come to pass? You’re trying to gain the power of darkness for a reason. You can’t do it you know. I will consume you and once all that you are is twisted into my likeness you will be the one doing arts and crafts.” Sombra said as he gestures to the image of his beloved. “Assuming she’s still there when you get back. You think the Sith will take the loss of the Crystal Empire lying down? And what did you do once the fighting was over? You left. Who's to say she isn't in my clutches already? Her screams sounding off like a beautiful symphony?” He asked as he drove his fist into her stomach to fill the area with wails of agony.

Namiro smirked. “Because… This is a typical horror trope…” He explained, his mind cooling down a little as he places his hands behind his back. His smirk tells all across his speech. “Because the real Sombra never knew about Patina despite me informing Prince Shining Armor of his daughter, as I never mentioned her anywhere near him. The real Sombra also has no idea where to find her due to her not being a Force Sensitive.” His confidence grew as he began to wade through the gore, walking as if it weren’t there. “You wouldn’t hurt her anyway… the chance to turn her into your own personal pleasure mare would be too much of a temptation to harm her like that, since without me you would have no royal caste changeling to create more changeling spies for you.” He stopped mere inches from Sombra’s face. “And last, but certainly not least, is that I AM going to succeed so that there will be no mystery as to who will come out on top next time. Dark is not evil, just as Light is not always good… You won’t find me an easy target…” The changeling scowled as he brought his right hand up and let it hover less than an inch away from Sombra’s chest before using the Force Push ability...or at least tried to.

“That won't work here boy. You're in the darkness now and only the darkness holds power here.” The fake Sombra said with a smile before using his own Force Push to launch him back and into the pool where he felt a sharp pain as a piece of rib bone punctured his abdomen. “Time to change tactics. Tell yourself it’s not real all you want. Pain is pain.” Sombra said as he approached while using the force to pull jagged pieces of bone from the pool and prepared to let them fly like shrapnel at the changeling.

Namiro pulled himself up and quickly removed the piece of bone from his body. “Pain is an illusion… Pain does not exist… Pain is not something to be feared. I will not let you control me… you will never have power over me.” He replies calmly as he tries to lets loose another Force Push.

“Still thinking like a light sider. If you want to stop me you must overcome me yourself. Without the help of the Force.” Sombra said with a dark chuckle as he drew his blade.

“I will no longer be without The Force, The Force is connected to every being in the world, whether they feel its influence or not, a Changeling is connected intricately.” He unleashes more and more, not caring how much of what surrounded them he sent flying. “The Force is part of me, using the Force to defeat you will be overcoming you myself!” There was a loud crack as a piece of Sombra’s face fractured though he showed no sign of feeling it.

“If that's true then show me.” Sombr said with a snarl as he launched himself forward and moved his blade to chop off the changeling’s head. Namiro scowled as he felt the last of his reserves drain, forcing him to his knees as his vision blurred. Mentally he reached around desperately, looking for The Force, just enough to send Sombra back. “Tired? If you don't feed the darkness then you can’t overpower me!” Sombra said as he grabbed him in his telekinetic grasp before smashing the changeling into the fake queen.

Namiro gagged and gasped as he tried to get up, his muscles shook with each inch as he ignored everything around him. He continued to reach, searching for what he had to do, trying to figure out why he couldn’t use his emotions to fuel The Force anymore. He grit his teeth as he shakily began to stand, each movement felt like he was shimmying through a tunnel filled with glass. He stood defiant, but… it was more a trait of the Light… he didn’t care for the Dark Side, he hadn’t ever thought about using the Dark Side for anything, he was a learner, a thinker, what would emotions ever really matter to someone who uses The Force as a tool as much as The Force treats them as a tool?

That was the thing though, here… now… the last of his Force Reserves had run out, he didn’t have any of the emotions he once thought he had. He felt… cold… empty… hollow. ”...Is this how Patina feels? Is this how her… no… our children feel?” He thought back to his time on earth, he thought back to the franchise that started his nerd-dom, the one scene that caught his attention…

How feel you?

Cold, sir.

Afraid are you?

No, sir.

See through you we can.

Be mindful of your feelings.

Your thoughts dwell on your mother.

I miss her.

Afraid to lose her I think, hmm?

What has that got to do with anything?

Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

As a changeling, he had no feelings on his own, just as impassive as The Force was. He had no feelings for the Dark Side to feed on. ”So… what do I do?” he starts to shift a little with hesitation. He took a small breath before fixing a neutral look on Sombra. “Rin… we need to end this for now…” At his words the darkness around him melted away and he was sitting in the wastelands once more as the darkness was pulled back into Rin. He lets out a shuddered breath before collapsing onto the ground with a groan as the ground knocked the wind out of him.

“What went wrong?” Rin asked him with a tone of confusion. “It’s like you completely shut up and let nothing out for the darkness.”

“I… I wouldn’t say it went wrong… I… I realised something.” He replies. “I, as a changeling, have no emotion for the Dark Side to use. I know how emotions are supposed to feel, and when I’m connected to The Force I can feel them… but here… I ran out… and I feel like I went an entire week without lunch or dinner…”

“...that can be a problem. The darkness would be able to deplete your reserves pretty fast if that's the case. Which means any training you get would need to be done on your world.” Rin said with a groan.

“Or find a way for me to start generating my own emotions while I’m here…” Namiro replied. “...The only way I can think of that is having someone to feed on the emotions of while I’m here.” He does actually try to hide a blush that was starting to show on his chitin-covered cheeks.

“Hmmm, changelings of this world don’t have that problem. They just can’t feed off the emotions of changelings.” Rin said as she scratched her chin in thought. “I would give you the built up emotions my changelings collected from me when I was in heat for a week but they’re pregnant now so that’s for the babies…”

Namiro shook his head. “I wouldn’t ask to use your resources for it anyway. A Royal Caste changeling is the most resource-heavy kind of changeling there is. In order to keep me back up for as long as I was already I would need a new supply every hour.” He sighs as he manages to roll onto his back as he feeds on the Force energy emitting from the green crystal in his pocket.

“...Changelings aren't well liked here at the moment. The invasion was too recent. The shrunken changelings haven't even gotten used to living in the toy city yet. I think we would need to bring in a large number of people from your world to sustain you for that.” Rin said with a frown.

The changeling chuckled. “How long ago were you in heat? I might’ve missed the perfect source of energy to continue the training daily by however long ago that was.” He slowly begins to sit up again, still shaking with a lack of energy. “Even then… I would probably only need two or three non-changelings… without it.” Rin just sighed.

“I can't stay in your world to train you as I’m dealing with a war here and I need to be here...I’m sending you back for now. Make some preparations and find some volunteers to feed you and use my token when you have everything ready.” Rin said as she opened another portal.

Namiro quickly fished out one of the three crystals he had obtained from the Crystal mine. “Here… I… I believe this will work the same way your token does.” He says as he holds the lime-green crystal out to her. Rin takes it with her magic and gives a nod before turning to the portal.

“Time to come home!” At her shout the non-skeletal forces she brought came through.

“Oh man! The look on Applejack’s face when she found out Flutters has a bodycount!” Vinyl said as she laughed hysterically.

“There is nothing funny about death Vinyl!” The grey mare chastised.

“...Fluttershy...has a...Nevermind. It's time to get back home.” Rin said before they all seemed to disappear. “Well I’ll see you later.” She said with a wave as she waited for Namiro to use the portal.

He smiled a little as he shakily stood. “You know… the Kitsune is actually one of my favorite parts of Japanese lore… It’s an interesting choice and can actually say a lot about you without realizing it.” He began to walk towards the portal. “It was good to meet you Rin…”

“It was good meeting you as well. I’ll ready a place for you and the guests you bring to feed you whenever you’re ready to start again.” Rin said with a smile. The changeling smiles a little bit more before stepping through the portal.

(Now back to this section of the story!)


I sigh as I return to my room in the palace. When Namiro asked me to help him learn the darkness I was about to refuse outright but there was a few things that stopped me. First was some things that Sombra said. First that he knew me despite me not knowing him and that I was stronger when we last fought. And that Namiro will ascend and Nick said that he would need to learn both the light and the darkness to do this apparently. Messing with Time is a no go with me so I'm going to keep to what happens or will happen. And if he's going to learn regardless it should be from someone who cares if he goes bad. The next thing to change my mind was something that told me I was meant to do this. Considering it stopped when I got back to my world I think it was the Force...I decided I don't like the Force. But we're on the same side as far as I know so what can I do about it?

I was about to go and talk to the girls but I stopped when I noticed something strange about my room. "Where are the guards?" I asked aloud just before a sharp pain shot through my back and I fall forward with a cry. I look back and see what looked like a pony Freddy Krueger with a synthetic leg. I also see a dagger sticking out of my back.

I try to scream or pull the blade out but I am unable to do ether. The blade must be some kind of magic nullifying weapon like what that griffin assassin tried to use when I put up a barrier. I don't know why I can't scream though. I grab Rusalka Kusugurimasu from my back and thrust it at him. He jumped back to dodge but I never meant to stab him and a jet of water shot out and into him causing him to fly back into the wall but my body was weaker and the blade flew from my paws. I'm starting to feel dizzy and I realize that the weapon in my back was also poisoned.

With some of my tails I grasp the handle and pull it out and throw it out the window with a crash and use the healing spell on myself and get to work purging the poison from my body. The problem with this is it takes a while and I need to keep constant focus on it so I can only use the most basic spells. I have no choice however and I get up with weak muscles from the poison that seems to cut off my voice pretty quickly and get to purging while staying ready for a fight. While I'm doing this the assassin who is getting up for round two glares at me with eyes that promise a painful death.

As quickly as I can I grab for my weapon and raise it up for another attack but before I know it he's knocking it from my grasp and with a twist and a crack my foreleg is broken. My mouth opens with a silent cry before I'm kicked across the room, through the door and into the bathroom. With slow steps he comes closer, obviously planning to draw out my pain. I try to push him back with my magic but he's protected by one of those talismans. I grit my teeth as I pull out the poll holding up the shower curtains to use as a weapon but he moved in quickly and grabbed it and brought it down on me and through my good foreleg.

"Rin, what is this Trixie hears about you-" Trixie said as she walked into the room but stopped when she saw what was going on and took in a deep breath. Seeing what was about to happen the assassin quickly moves to stop her but was too late as a blood curdling scream and illusionary fireworks fills the air. He stops when he realizes he was too late and turns back around to finish me off, ignoring Trixie's fireballs. Thankfully Trixie, seeing her attack spells vanishing before it gets to him pulls a page from my book and pulls the rug from under his hooves as he's running over it in the bathroom and when he tumbles I kick him to the side with my hind paws and use my magic to lift the toilet seat but he was just barely able to stop himself from falling in.

Having had enough I take the poll in my magic and pull it out of my foreleg before bring it down on him forcing him to fall into the toilet with a splash. With a sigh and a grunt I get to work resetting my bone so I can use the heal spell again.

"Did he just fall down the toilet?" Trixie asked with bewilderment.

"This wing was built for princesses so the plumbing is built for them. When you're warned not to fall in around here it's a genuine concern." I answer with a weak voice as I set my bone and heal myself before quickly getting back to the poison purge. Glad that some of its effects are wearing off with the cleansing.

"If it's big enough to hold a pony with so much extra room..." 'Flush!' ...I'm so proud. With a bright flash the door burst opened and the girls barge in.

"Aunty! Are you ok?! What happened?! Why were all of the guards in this wing out cold in a closet!?" Celestia demanded as I ease myself onto the toilet for the cleansing process.

"If you're willing to be in here with me while I use the bathroom I'll tell you what I know but first I should tell you there was an assassin after me that's now wherever this leads." I say as I pat the toilet.


Later that night.


I hum happily but flinch as the liver popped and sprayed my fur that was already red with blood. "Oh well, not like I was going to use it. It'll make good fertilizer for the garden room." I say as I toss the organ aside. I lean forwarded to fish out more useless parts for the new undead body I'm making for Claw, the ghost griffon hunter. The small intestines wiggled a bit as I moved from it being wrapped around my neck like those flower leis they gave out in Hawaii. The ghost that will inhabit this vessel floated patiently next to the wall of the torture chamber as I work and sing a song I think was a theme song for a show but after all these years I can't recall which one... Something about that song has given me some ideas on dealing with those goodly heroes.

I finish and step back to admire my work. Besides the bald wolf head it was spot on to the D&D monster I knew I had to create for this ghost knowing that he's a hunter and his name was Claw. I beckon the ghost forward and without hesitation he floats over and enters the body and I waste no time with the spell. With growing excitement I watch as it twitches and rises up. His claws which I used the last of the dragon bone to make from bone metal seeming to retract and go back out slowly at random.

"Yes! Rise up my boneclaw! It's alive! It's...getting up! It's getting up!" I shout out before laughing maniacally. "Now get to the training room and master that body! Then you can hunt again!"

Claw just looked at me flatly but turned to leave and follow my orders regardless. Eager to once again feel the thrill of the hunt.

Off to the Crystal Empire!

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"Is something wrong?" I ask Celestia. I had just walked into the throne room for my turn to take petitioners which starts one hour after Celestia's turn so this is the first time she was even in the room when I came to work. It looks like I walked in on an important meeting with her, Cadence and Shining Armor.

"A great city we once thought lost has returned up in the frozen north." Celestia said. About time. I was wondering when it would return. "It is called the Crystal Empire and it is crucial that we get there first. The empire can spread harmony or darkness throughout all of Equestria depending on its inhabitants. That's why I'm sending Cadence to secure it." Celestia said with determination.

Shining loudly cleared his throat causing Celestia to look down at him questioningly. Shining Armor used a hoof to gesture to himself while giving Celestia a 'forgetting somepony?' look. "Is there something you would like to add?" Celestia asked him causing one of his eyes to twitch.

"Yes princess. I'm going too." Shining reminded her.

"Well that goes without saying. You two are married and it would be cruel to split you two up. We will need Cadence to stay there to rule over it and keep the inhabitants happy." Celestia said with a smile causing Shining's shoulders to slump. Rolling my eyes I make a mental connection with Celestia.

Celestia remember some of those stories I used to tell you and Luna about superheroes and supervillains? Remember how a lot of those villains went bad?

Yes I remember. But what does that have to do with...oh.

"Also with the Goodly Heroes and the displaced it is of the utmost importance that we have a strong military leader to protect it." Celestia said with a smile causing Shining to stick out his chest and salute.

"I won't let you down Princess!" He said proudly.

"I would like to go to. I understand there was a powerful darkness user in that city and I want to raid his library."

"Absolutely not! We want the Crystal Empire to be powered by love and harmony to create such magic and you know your magic doesn't mix with those things." She said as she grew larger before my eyes. "Why are you shrinking yourself?" She asked in confusion. She got her answer once I was the size of a foal and hit her with the puppy pout. The force of the blow was enough to almost cause Celestia to fall off the throne. Though Celestia was slowly weakening Cadence had no resistance at all and I was quickly pulled away from my bodyguards and into the embrace of the princess of love.

"Er, don't you have some minions that aren't of the darkness and would be fine? You can send some with my student. I already sent her a letter and she will be going to help get the place working and to take a little test. I would like her to have some protection anyways all things considered." Celestia said in defeat. "We estimate that the tracks will be ready to take them by train tomorrow. The train will leave Canterlot at around six in the afternoon."

"What if I'm needed? Can I go then?" I ask and it looks like she was about to object when her face melted and distorted in my vision as I forced my eyes to water.

"No, not even you can make me bend on this. Aunty I forbid you from entering the borders of the Empire." She said in a tone that left no room for discussion. What I got from that however was you can go to the area outside its borders as long as you don't go in which was fine with me as I had no intention of getting in range of that heart or being in it when it was placed. I was just going to create a portal and gun it when that barrier came down.

"Fine" I say as I slump in Cadence's forelegs as she cuddled and cooed at me to try to cheer me up. With a sigh I regrow myself to normal size and climb out of Cadence's embrace and went back to my guards. "I'm skipping out on taking audience today. I have some things I need to do before that train leaves in the morning."

"That's alright. Court has been canceled for today." Celestia said with her normal regal tone now that she was free from the puppy pout.


The next day.


"Why does Trixie need to go?" Trixie asked with a frown.

"Because I trust you to do the job." I answer with a smile. "Besides you can't keep avoiding them forever." I say causing Trixie's eyes to widen at my knowing what she was doing.

"Trixie doesn't know what you're talking about." She lied.

"Whatever you say Trix. Just find me Sombra's stash." I say as I bring up a tail and tickle her chin which she responded to by pushing it away with a hoof and backing away.

"Fine" She said in defeat.

"Oh and take this, just in case." I say as I give her a dragon bone box I used to contain dangerous artifacts back in the day.

"What is it?" Trixie asked as she took the box.

"Dragon bone box for if you come across any dangerous artifacts. Also there are some shadows in there for if you need some quick, expendable backup." I answer.

"Shadows? You mean like what was used to turn that construct into scrap metal in that cursed story book? If you can create such things why didn't you make some for the army?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It takes a lot of magic to create them, the spell is master level which means it's extremely complex and they're too easily destroyed by bright lights or positive energy magic of any kind. If the paper dolls that were used to cast them are damaged or if the light that was used to create them ever goes out they disappear and like the skeletons they wander aimlessly when they have nothing to fight and they're much harder to contain. In other words they're high maintenance minions, undead are better except in portability and with portals that is normally not an issue. They aren't even invulnerable to basic attacks they're just hard to hit because they move so fast. If you're going to use them just make sure there are no bright lights around including sunlight." I say getting a nod from her as she carefully stores the box in her bag. I waved goodbye as Trixie and two of my dragons left for the the train to the Crystal Empire before leaving to give Namiro some more training.


"Twilight!" Applejack called out to her friend once she reached the train station before giving her a hug. "Did you pass?" Before Twilight could get past her surprise of her best friends and even her therapist being there Spike was sent flying a short distance from being hit by Pinkie's patented Party cannon.

"Are we going to celebrate your awesomeness with princess Celestia?" Pinkie Pie asked excitedly before her party cannon went off while facing up and pinkie jumped up with the confetti shot out of the weapon of mass celebration.

"Not quite." Twilight responded causing Pinkie to stop mid air along with the confetti before both came down at the same time, the confetti being sucked back into the cannon it came from. "We're going to the Crystal Empire!" Twilight said with determination causing her friends to look to each other in confusion except for Dr. Wolf who waited calmly, not acting surprised at all.

Twilight gave a quick explanation as they moved toward the train that had been reserved for this and found their seats and waited to go. "No worries Twilight. Like you're going to fail a test." Rainbow Dash said with a wave of her hoof.

"Indeed darling, I'm sure you'll do fine. Oh I just can't wait to see an empire made entirely out of crystals. It must look positively marvelous." Rarity said as she looked through her luggage and decided to look for the best scarf for the cold climate. To think they laughed when she packed these scarfs. Well who's laughing now!

"Ya! And when you're done with your test we can throw a big party to celebrate you passing and have it double as a welcome back party for all those crystal ponies!" Pinkie Pie shouted excitedly as she bounced around. "I bet the eleven of us can show those ponies how we party future stile!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow at Pinkie's words before replying. "Pinkie There are eight of us."

"Oh don't worry Twilight. I forgot some lessons I learned in school too. You just need a refresher course!" Pinkie said with a huge smile causing Twilight's eye to twitch at Pinkie implying that she was bad at basic addition. Her annoyance grew to confusion when Pinkie pulled out a large card with pictures with plus signs between each group. "Seven ponies plus three dragons plus one wolf equals eleven!"

Squinting her eyes Twilight leaned forward and focused on the extra unicorn pinkie added to the equation. "Wait...is that?" Her thoughts were interrupted when the very unicorn and dragons from the picture walked through the door just before it closed and made their way to their seats. "Trixie?" Twilight asked in bewilderment. "What are you doing here? This train was reserved to take those authorized by princess Celestia."

"Ya! What do you think you're doing here fraud!?" Rainbow Dash demanded angrily as she shoved her face in Trixie's forcing the magician's head back.

"Trixie IS authorized to be here mindless thug!" Trixie said as she pushed back.

"Hey quit rocking the boat!" a tiny voice called out making Rainbow pull back and give Trixie's hat a wide eyed look.

"Did your hat just talk?" Rainbow Dash asked with confusion. Trixie just rolled her eye and lifted her hat from her head revealing the tiny ponies that were riding on her head. With a bewildered look Rainbow opened her mouth to speak but before she could she was rammed from the side sending her flying into the next car by Fluttershy who had forgotten her fears.

"Breezies!" She whispered excitedly as she got close at Trixie's little assistants. "Oh look at how cute and little they are. It's so nice of you to protect the frail little ones." Fluttershy said to Trixie.

"Frail? Protect? We are masters of stealth and great treasure hunters!" The lead rogue said with indignation.

"Sure you are." Rainbow snorted as she walked back up to them. Normally she would be raising a stink about getting knocked down but it was Fluttershy. The Breezies on Trixie's head are probably made of tougher stuff.

"Do not mock us! We are not like those pushovers that need constant babysitting. We can slip through a crack unnoticed and fly on the air like a poisonous gas. Silent but deadly." At those words Rainbow and Pinkie fell to the floor laughing. "What is so funny? We really are dangerous! Especially in enclosed spaces like this where you can't roll down the windows." The lead Breezie said causing Rainbow and Pinkie to laugh harder. "I can knock you out all by myself! I can hit you with something real nasty right in the nose so powerful you'll be out cold in no time...What is so funny!? Stop laughing!"

"I'm sure they aren't laughing at you. They're laughing with you." Fluttershy said reassuringly as she got up on the seat next to Trixie and scooted right up next to the magician which made Trixie uncomfortable.

"So you'll be working with us?" Twilight asked Trixie with a warm smile.

"No. Trixie and her friends are tasked with another job." Trixie said getting confused looks from the two dragons.

"Friends? I don't think you've ever spoken with either of us." The dragoness said before shaking her head but then took notes of Spike. "Hi there little guy. What's your name sweaty?" She asked in baby talk.

"I'm Spike...and please stop talking to me like that." Spike replied with a flat look causing the dragoness to look surprised at the sound of his voice.

"I'm Cynder and this is my brother Brimstone. If I may ask, how old are you?"

"I'm fifteen, why?" He asked with a raised brow causing Cynder to practically choke on the air.

"But you look like you're no older than four! You're only one year younger than me? Haven't you been eating your meats?" She asked causing most of the ponies to go pail with the only exceptions being Fluttershy, Rainbow and Trixie.

"But...Spike doesn't eat meat! He needs gems! Not much is recorded on Dragons but the leading experts agree that gems are what dragons need to survive." Twilight said queasily yet in a lecturing tone.

"You honestly believe some cowardly ponies that were too afraid of us to ask us anything over a dragon on what a dragon needs?" Cynder asked in annoyance. Suddenly Twilight's face returned to it's natural color and she got sparkles in her eyes as she realized that she had a dragon sitting in front of her filled with draconic knowledge. Twilight quickly pulled out a quill and notepad before moving to sit next to Sender.

"Tell me everything!" Twilight said excitedly.

"First of all Gems are important for the bones and scales to grow stronger. If he eats the right kinds of gems and ores he could become a black dragon like we're becoming thanks to princess Rin. Also hay and flowers are bad for us so he should never eat those. Fruits like apples and bananas that you ponies like are ok but he needs meat. Honestly has nopony wondered what those sharp teeth were for? If he doesn't get a steady diet it's only a matter of time before he dies of malnourishment." Cynder said causing everypony to go silent. A look of horror on all of Twilight's friends but Spike's was the most disturbed. "Let me see that." Cynder said as she took the notepad and quill from Twilight. "I'll write down his needs." As Cynder worked and Trixie was freed from being unintentionally snuggled by Fluttershy who was now with spike and Rarity fussing over him along with the marshmallow unicorn. A fact that was making Spike feel much better very quickly. They moved through the mountains and through the snow to their destinations. With the tension in the cart Trixie wondered if Rin was laughing at this. She doubted that even the ancient fox in all her years has been in this awkward of a situation.


"Pull harder!" Octavia shouted as she tried to pull her face away from Rin's fluffy butt while Rin tried to pull her head away from Vinyl's while all three were sandwiched between the backs of Table Top the corpse collector and Claw the boneclaw and all of them were glued together by multicolored slime which they were covered in.

"We'd better hurry. I had bean burritos with my blood for lunch today." Vinyl said passively.

"You better hold it in." I tell her in a warning tone and I lift up one of the new toys I got from the world of that Terraria displaced. I have no idea what it does but it's something he made for me out of some of the drops my minions brought back from their level grinding so it's worth checking. I waive it in the air like a magic wand and a giant hornet appears out of thin air.

"NOT THE BEES!" Table top shouted in panic as he started splashing in the slime in an attempt to swim away.

"Stop! I think it's my minion! And your think hide protects you from bee stings!" I shout to get him to calm down and stop making more slime rain down on us. I try again to create another one and it works but the first one disappears. "Oh well I guess one will have to do for this job. Hey little guy you think you can use that giant stinger to cut this slime sticking us together?" I ask and it nods and flies closer but before it can get too close Table Top lets out a high pitched scream and manages to jump out of the slime and runs for the door but due to being so large he had to duck to fit through the door.

"Wait Table Top stop! If you run through the door We'll-" That's as far as I got before we collided with the top part of the door frame and everything went black.


Back on the train both teams were unaware of the dangers ahead and the ones that were hiding on the train with them. For hiding in the luggage cart was a dangerous group that came to canterlot to gain something precious but upon learning of the Crystal Empire from eavesdropping on the Elements has stowed away. Who knows what untold destruction they well cause.

"This is great! A magic city that disappeared that was ruled by an evil king! Think he'll still be there? We can get our cutie marks in fighting evil!" Scootaloo said excitedly.

"I don't know, it sounds dangerous." Apple Bloom said with a tone of concern

"Don't worry our sisters and the other Elements will be there and they're national heroes." Sweetie Belle said reassuringly. "What could possibly go wrong?"

A Dangerous Mix.

View Online

With a light jerk the train came to a stop and the doors slid open and everyone grabbed their things while the breezies tucked themselves back into Trixie's mane before she secured her hat back onto her head.

"Ha! And you all made fun of me for packing so many scarves." Rarity gloated as she happily trotted out the door and onto the snow covered platform.

"I didn't say a word." Spike said with some strain under the weight of the luggage he was carrying before slipping on the icy ground and falling onto his behind and dropping all of Rarity's bags on the ground. One of which busted open which allowed the scarves to start blowing away in the wind but everyone's attention was drawn to the one that said ouch three times. With some curiosity Cynder picked up the suitcase and opened it to find three little pony heads sticking out of a wrapped up bundle of cloth snuggled up to try and stay warm.

"Apple Bloom?"

"Sweetie Bell?"

"Scootaloo?" Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash asked at the same time when they saw the three crusaders.

"What in tarnation are you three doing here?" Applejack demanded. Despite the intense cold the three fillies took in a lung full of the freezing air and everyone who knew the three quickly covered their ears. But team Trixie was unable to react in time.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS EPIC HEROES YAY!!!" The Crusaders shouted out causing Trixie and the dragons to cringe in pain and Trixie was sure she felt the breezies dig themselves deeper into her mane until they reached her scalp.

"Twilight!" A voice called out to the group as a pony ran up to them.

"Shining Armor!" Twilight called out as she ran up to give her big brother a hug but he stopped her with a hoof.

"No time for that now. He would have heard that horrible and will be on his way now! Come on!" Shining said as he turned around and urged them all to follow.

"Who would have heard that? What's going on here?" Twilight asked as she and the others chased him, the crusaders still being carried by Cynder in Rarity's bag.

"No time and please keep quiet. You're making it easier for him to find us." Shining replied as he slowly increased his pace.

"Oh, please, we have more experience defending Equestria and fighting bad guys than you. So I think we know what we're doing. Now will you tell us what's going on so we can kick the bad guy's flank? We are the professionals here." Rainbow Dash said with pride causing Shining Armor's eye to twitch at Rainbow's words.

Before Twilight could reprimand Rainbow Dash sinister laughter crept in from the snow storm raging around them and a black cloud came in as if to consume them. From the dark mass came a face of a black and grey unicorn with a curved horn that turned from grey to red as it went up to its pointed tip and his eyes looked very similar to Rin's in color and even had those wisps coming out of the sides like she does when she gets worked up or is casting a spell.

"Run!" Shining shouted in panic as he redoubled his efforts to get to the city and the rest were close on his tail.

"Why aren't we just fighting it?" Rainbow asked as she flew over her retreating friends.

"You can't touch him! Princess Celestia said he was turned into shadows so he's intangible!" Twilight shouted back. As they were running a strange window appeared in thin air in front of Dr. Wolf which he smacked face first into with a thunk and fell flat on his back.

"I get his hate mail now!?" Dr. Wolf shouted out as he brings his hands up to his nose.

"Doctor!" Twilight and her friends all shouted at once as they stopped to help him. Seeing the rapidly approaching cloud of darkness and knowing that there is no way they would get away in time now Trixie remembered what Rin had told her about the shadows in the box and if he's made of shadows...

"Everyone cover your eyes!" Trixie shouted as she turned back and charged up her fireworks spell but skipped the part that colors it and overcharged the spell causing a blindingly bright light that hurt her eyes even through her eyelids. A pained scream filled the air and when she opened her eyes she saw that the cloud of shadows was still there but stopped moving towards them and seemed to be swaying in a blind daze. Not happy that her plan didn't work like she wanted but not willing to admit it Trixie quickly grabbed the dazed ponies that didn't close their eyes and ran for the giant light blue bubble with the others that weren't blinded by Trixie's light where right there with her.

They were almost there when they heard an enraged shout and when they looked back they saw the black cloud moving at them again at greater speeds.

"Almost there. Keep going I'll slow him down!" Shining armor said as he turned and attacked the moving cloud of darkness only for the magical blast to pass harmlessly through Sombra creating a small hole that quickly sealed shut before Sombra moved in. But before Sombra could get Shining Armor the unicorn was grabbed by Brimstone who quickly used his wings to carry the prince and himself through the barrier just as the others made it through.

"Is everyone ok?" Twilight asked the others getting some tired nods from some of the others. She rushed over to her brother as Brimstone set him down and gave him a quick nuzzle.

"Sparklerific!" Pinkie said in astonishment at the sight of the Crystal empire causing everyone else to look at the sight.

"Would ya look at that! It's like something from a story book." Apple Bloom said as she and her two friends jumped out of the piece of luggage that Cynder was using to carry them. Once it was free of the fillies Cynder just shrugged and tossed the suitcase over her shoulder and back out into the snowstorm outside.

"Sure does." Applejack agreed as the crusaders came up beside the main six.

"Why, I bet there are some amazing things in that there city that could keep a filly busy and out of more dangerous places for days." Apple Bloom continued.

"I bet there is. A shame that you're grounded and will stay out of them dangerous places by staying in one room." Applejack replied causing the crusaders to wince as they were picked up by their sisters and Rainbow Dash and carried through the city.

"This place is simply dazzling!" Rarity gushed over the city as they walked through it and looking at all of the scaired crystal ponies.

"Ya, everything is so shiny!" Sweetie Bell said excitedly as she reached out with a hoof to touch something on a stand only to knock over a crystal vase which rolled over and hit a crystal stick holding up a crystal roof over another stand that fell over and crushed the crystal berries splattering the mess all over the pony next to them.

"My berries!" The pony shouted in horror as Rarity turned her head and gave Sweetie an angry look.

"Oops." Sweetie said with a nervous smile.

"Are you ok miss Trixie?" Dr. Woolf asked drawing the attention of the others allowing them to see Trixie looking at the mess that the filly just made with a bewildered look.

"Trixie is fine. She doesn't know why but for some reason Trixie feels like that should have been cabbages and because it was berries instead some kind of fundamental law of the multiverse was just broken." Trixie said while giving the squashed berries a wide eyed look before shaking her head and continuing forward. "The great and powerful Trixie should be more focused on her work."

"O...K?" Dr. Wolf said with a confused look on his face as they followed her to the castle. After a short walk the party made it to the crystal castle where Trixie instantly took off her hat.

"You have your orders. Now do your magic." Trixie said to the team that had been riding on her head that flew up and gave her a salute.

"Yes! We will find king Sombra's socks!" The leader shouted out excitedly causing Twilight and her friends to gasp and blush and the three that had a filly quickly covered the fillies ears while giving the breezies disgusted glares one would give a shameless pervert. "What? The socks of an ancient dark tyrant can be sold for a pretty bit." The leader said before another whispered something into his ear. "Oh, right. First we find secret evil lair with long lost relics so Trixie can do her job...And then socks!" He shouted out causing her team to cheer and fly off chanting the word socks over and over again.

"What are socks?" Apple Bloom asked getting nervous looks from the adults in the room except for Applejack who glared at her.

"That there is a grownup thing you have no business talking about! Now I gotta wash your mouth out with soap when we get home." Applejack chastised getting a confused look from her little sister. "And not the kind made from apples!" Applejack finished causing Apple Bloom's look of confusion to change to one of horror.

"You mean?" Apple Bloom asked and Applejack nodded.

"That's right! The soap granny uses!" Applejack confirmed causing Apple Bloom to suddenly look very sick. "Oh don't you give me that look, soap is soap. It's self cleaning! Just try not to think about where it's been."

"Easy for you to say! It's not going in your mouth! Please don't do it Applejack! I promise I'll never say socks again!" Apple Bloom begged getting an angry glare from her sister. "...That time didn't count!"

"Oh yes it did! And for your information I got the same treatment when I said bad words too." Applejack said angrily before grabbing her little sister off her back and hoofed her over to the doctor. "Sorry partner but we're a might busy here what with saving the empire and all. Can you watch the girls while we work on this?" Applejack asked as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were also hoofed over to him.

"Of course I will. I'm happy to help." He said with a smile as he followed a guard that Shining Armor called over to lead him to a room.

"Just make sure to not put them down till you barricaded all ways out and don't take your eyes off them for even a moment!" Rarity called out.

"Don't you think that's a little extreme?" Dr. Wolf asked which got an immediate response from all of the ponies from Ponyville.

"NO!"

One short walk later and they were in a guest room where the good doctor managed to barricade the door using only his feet.

"Well that was a challenge." He said as he set the crusaders down on the floor. "Now what made them think that all of this was necessary?" He asked as he looked over at the barricaded door. "Perhaps you girls would like to talk about why your sisters would-" He started to say before turning back to see that the CMC were gone and the window near by was opened when it was closed and locked before. "Girls?"


Trixie was rendered speechless. She had quite a few images in her head about Twilight Sparkle. She had envisioned her laughing maniacally as she planned elaborate plots to destroy the reputations of other unicorns for her amusement while the little dragon was curled up in her lap as she stroked his head with one hoof. She envisioned her being a stuck up jerk that only wanted to stroke her superiority complex like all of Trixie's teachers growing up. She had even envisioned her over a bubbling caldron chanting curses on innocent ponies while she prepared to dunk some caged foals into the pot. All of those thoughts and more went down the drain when she witnessed what had to be the most ridiculous greeting she had ever seen. And as a pony that had traveled all across Equestria and beyond she had seen plenty...and now Twilight and princess Cadence are bent over shaking their plots at each other. The bewilderment was quickly overcome when princess Cadence cringed in pain as the magic of her horn flickered out for a moment causing the love shield outside to flicker out as well.

"One of this days we need to get together when the fate of Equestria isn't hanging in the balance." Cadence said with a tired smile.

"Are you ok?" Twilight asked Cadence.

"Cadence has been able to use her magic to spread love and light. That seems to be what is protecting the Empire. But she hasn't slept, barely eats. I want to help her but my protection spells have been countered by king Sombra." Shining Armor answered.

"It's alright Shining Armor I'm fine." Cadence tried to reassure him.

"She's not fine. She can't go on like this forever and if her magic were to fade, you saw what's out there waiting for that to happen." Shining said.

"That's why we're here." Twilight said reassuringly.

"Why we're all here." Applejack confirmed as she and all of Twilight's friends stepped forward.

"Hey watch it!" Everypony stopped and looked down in surprise at the tiny winged pony on the floor. Surprise turned to confusion when he...or she, no one there could tell, placed their head against the ground and tapped it a few times before, to the disgust of most in the room gave the floor a long lick. Giving a nod of satisfaction the small rogue flew up to Trixie and whispered something in her ear causing her to grow a smirk.

"Good work. Still keep looking incase this isn't it." Trixie ordered causing the little rogue to fly off. "Get back everyone and let Trixie work." After saying that Trixie took out and uncorked a small dragon bone metal vile and allowing a small drop to hit the ground. Once the black, inky substance hit the ground it rapidly foamed up and let off a light, black fog which caused the others to move away which was a good thing because the floor vanished leaving a deep hole with a spiraling staircase.

"What the buck is that stuff!?" Rainbow Dash demanded as she points to the vile as Trixie is putting it back in her saddle.

"Cursed, conjured water. Useful for getting past magic locks that use dark magic as a key." Trixie gloated before trotting down the stairs but stopped when she heard more hooves behind her. Turning her head she saw Twilight standing on the stairs behind her. "What are you doing?" Trixie asked in a deadpan.

"Well, we are here to save the Crystal Empire. And if you're going to King Sombra's private areas I'm coming to see what dirty things he has covered up." Twilight said causing Rainbow and Pinkie to start laughing into their hooves much to Twilight's confusion.

"Oh no! Trixie is under orders from princess Rin and princess Celestia to not let you read anything we find until it has been deemed safe." Trixie countered which shocked Twilight into taking a step back.

"I-I, w-what!? I'm not aloud to read them!?" Twilight shouted as she began to hyperventilate.

"Oh no ya don't!" Applejack said as she grabbed Twilight and started shaking her with everything she had. "Snap out of it!"

"App-le Jack st-op!" Twilight pleaded as she was flung from side to side.

"Come back to us Twi! Move towards the sound of my voice!" Applejack continued.

"I'm ba-ck! I'm back Stop!" Twilight shouted as she used her magic to restrain the farm pony and pull her off.

"Twilight we still need ponies to question the crystal ponies." Shining said to her. With a hum of thought Twilight spoke.

"Ok, what I said about king Sombra's lair still stands and we can probably find out how to reverse what king Sombra did to the crystal ponies there. But if princess Celestia said I can't read anything I'll need help. I need somepony to read things for me. One who won't care about what's inside the notes and just look for clues in them. So I'll need one of you to come with me while the rest go and talk with the crystal ponies." Twilight said to her friends.

"ME!" Rainbow Dash called out excitedly before flying over to Twilight. "I just bet this place will have awesome traps, lurking monsters and a giant temple guardian to beat up! I'll read for that!"

"Ok we have a volunteer. Rainbow Dash will come with us and everypony else will go question the locals!" Twilight announced.

"Hold on! Trixie was put in charge of this operation not you! You have your own job! Don't get in the way of Trixie's!" Trixie shouted angrily.

"Of course you're in charge. You call the shots." Twilight said with a smile.

"What?" Rainbow and Trixie asked at the same time in bewilderment.

"She was put in charge of securing and dealing with anything dangerous that king Sombra has down there by the princesses. They wouldn't do that if she couldn't be trusted or do the job right." Twilight said with a sincere smile. "I'm just asking from one mage to another to allow us to accompany you so that we might save all of those ponies out there. I promise not to touch anything and what you say goes." Trixie's mouth opened and closed a few times as she stared wide eyed at Twilight. She hadn't expected that at all. She wanted to refuse Twilight but after hearing that she sighed.

"Fine. But no touching anything until Trixie gives it the all clear." Trixie demanded getting a friendly smile and a nod from Twilight which greatly confused Trixie. With a sigh Trixie decided to just focus on the job and started down the stairs which would no doubt be a chore on its own from the long climb down followed closely by Twilight, Rainbow and her two dragon guards. As they went down the others left the room and no one noticed three small forms climb in through the window and moved to follow the team that from what they heard promised more excitement. This is turning out to be a lousy day. Trixie bets none of the others are putting up with anything worse than this! Trixie thought to herself grumpily.


Meanwhile in the dungeon.


Namiro slowly staggered out of his room in the dungeon. When he was able to go through the higher level training without losing control, screaming like a foal or losing control of his bodily functions Rin had upped the training to channeling the darkness while sparing so that he could learn to keep control in tense situations. Unfortunately for him when she asked if he would like to chose his sparring partner he decided not to go with the hydra and chose Cluck Norris instead. Even with Rin’s healing magic and the love he got afterwards he was drained and went to his room for a nap. But now he was awake again and still felt like he was hit by a truck.

“Greetings intern Namiro! Art thou well? Thy movements resembles greatly the staggering of a shambling zombie.” The voice of Luna rang out as she walked up to him. Using her magic to pull a giant cooking pot that just barely fit in the hallway. The slight shaking of the pot as if something alive was inside and trying to get outside and the air around it had the rancid smell of rot, feces, fruits and spices. “Mayhaps a taste of our home cooking will liven thy step. We poured a great deal of love into our cooking!”

Namiro looked to the pot. “Well… it depends… will your cooking try to eat me?” He asked as he gave the pot an appraising once-over. “Changelings don’t have to eat physical food after all, only the energy from emotions sustains us.” Luna laughs at his words as she uses her magic to remove the lid. Without the lid blocking it off the true smell of Luna’s cooking hit him full force almost knocking him out again.

“Thy jests amuse us! Food that eats you?” She said as she takes a large wooden spoon and dips it in. When she pulls it back up it holds bubbling, pulsating, glob of slime that looks like a cross between jello, spinach, play dough and pus. There are a few connecting pieces of the substance attaching it the the rest of it in the pot that almost looks like it's trying to pull itself back together. Before Luna could pull it away however the parts of the spoon that had the stuff on it came off from the handle. But it didn’t break. The smooth liquidised tip of the large spoon showed that it was melted.

“It appears that the spoons do not hold the same enchantments as the pots. It matters not.” She said as she uses her magic to pull out a large chunk which caused whatever it was in the pot to go ballistic in there. “Now taste of the splendors of our labor!” She said cheerfully as the glob was magically floated in front of Namiro’s mouth.

“I’m sorry… I’m going to have to decline… if it can eat through even a wooden spoon, I suggest taking a cooking class.” Namiro replied with a sheepish smile. “Simply by observing what enchantments are needed on the pot and what happened to the spoon I can only say that whatever is in front of me will be considered an assassination attempt.” He quickly began walking the other way. “I’d be happy to try something that doesn’t require enhancements in order to cook…”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Luna said as she picked him up in her magic. “There is nothing wrong with our cooking. We have hundreds of years of experience!” Luna gloated as she forcefully crammed the glop into his mouth. “Taste the perfection!” Luna exclaimed happily as the substance burned his mouth but the love put into it helped heal his mouth at the same time.

Once it was down the changeling coughed and spluttered, letting out a shudder as he tried to brace himself. “...It could use less live rat… I don’t know if changelings painfully turn living creatures into gel or not if they’re consumed…” he shuddered.

“How dare you insult us by claiming we would use rats as an ingredient! That was a fruit salad mixed with some kind of jello we found in a strange container. We believe the label said it was called smooze?” She asked aloud to herself. Just then the large container fell over from the movement inside and Luna’s ‘cooking’ lashed out at Namiro.

Still reeling from the attempt on his life he couldn’t react fast enough to avoid whatever foul beast Luna had summoned, earning a deep gash burnt across the already thin chitin covering his chest by the corrosive slime. The angry dessert then lunged forward and managed to grab onto his muzzle and force a large amount of itself down his throat. Forcing him to taste the rancid flavor again before pulling back out as if trying to get something back. It then started flailing about angrily but its movements made it look sick.

“Oh great! The dish fell on the floor! How are we going to serve it now? We so wanted to show our aunt how our cooking skills improved in a thousand years!” Luna complained as she looked at the angry monster.

The changeling gave her a flat look as he resisted the urge to hurl. “I’m going to give it to you straight… they got worse…” He replied. “There isn’t enough love in the world that would make me willing to eat that acid monster that you created again.” His body shook as he used the wall to brace himself as he straightened up. “I’ve heard that in most universes the princesses would rather have people be honest with them… so I’ll do you a favor now… enroll… in… a… cooking… class…” He emphasized.” Luna was about to reply but stopped when she heard voices approaching.

“Finally! Thanks for the help getting us unstuck from that stuff Wraith. That was the second slimiest mess I got stuck in.” Rin’s voice rang out.

“What was the first? Wait, do I want to know?” Octavia asked.

“When I first learned how to grow and shrink I didn’t have the magical reserves I have today and ran out at a tiny size and had to wait till I recharged to grow back. Unfortunately Luna found me and when she was a baby she had the habit of sticking anything that would fit up her nose. I was stuck up there till the next day when her mother had her blow her nose.” Rin replied making Luna blush in embarrassment. Rin, Vinyl, Octavia and a black, shadow like wolf with glowing white eyes they hadn't seen before walked in. Upon seeing Luna Rin smiled but got a sick look on her face as she sniffed the air. She looked at the monster throwing a tantrum then to the giant cooking pot.

“Luna did you make that? I can already tell your cooking skills have greatly improved!” She said with a smile. Getting a proud smile from Luna.

Namiro heaved as he limped down the hall. “If deadly food is an improvement… I would have hated to be around a thousand years ago…” He groaned as he kept himself braced against the wall.

“Hey, at least it doesn’t give off lethal doses of radiation anymore.” Rin said with a smile as she once again cast the healing spell on the changeling. But before he could move the monstrosity rolled over him. Trying to pull him in and digest the changeling.

Namiro scowled as his normally-green eyes shifted red and he held his hand out to send a jet of flame at the slime monstrosity. “No! Down… Bad assassin slime.” He growled.

“Honestly you're as bad as our aunty. She plays with her food too. Don’t thou think that thou are too old for that? Luna asked.

“The difference between her food and mine… is that I can get mine while playing with it… Most mortals tend to enjoy it…” He said with a smirk before his eye color returned to normal. “You should try it some time, unless you happen to be against bedding something of a different species.”

The monstrosity suddenly moved away to cower in a corner as the room’s temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. Namiro was suddenly filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread as he was lifted up and dropped into a chair that was just conjured. Next thing he knew Rin was sitting in front of him giving him a look that despite his training, made his blood run cold.

“So...what exactly are your intentions with my little Lulu?” She asked like a murderous father meeting their daughter’s first boyfriend.

“I have no intentions… Since the easiest way for me to be fed has been explained to you already, I don’t see how that changes anything. Besides… she tried to kill me, I don’t hold any hostilities, but if she wants to tease me regarding what I eat, I’m going to tease her right back.” Namiro replied as he regained his composure and sat with one leg over the other.

“What dost thou speak of? We teased thee not!” Luna said in an offended tone.

“Not with my little moon pie or sunny bunny.” Rin said as she let him up. “If you need it so badly I’ll send you someplace where you can find plenty of willing donors.” Rin said in a cold tone that showed she was still upset with what he said as she created a portal and dropped him in. When he came out of the other side and it closed behind him he looked around and found himself in some kind of retirement home. The small army of wrinkly old grannies took one look at him and got excited.

“Look at this girls! A ch-ch- one of them things that can look like whatever you want! Comer youngen, I got some love fer ya!” One of them said as the elderly ponies moved in like a pack of hungry wolves.

”Welp…” Namiro thought as he gave a small chuckle. ”If the movie Yes Man has taught me anything… it’s that the women with years under their belt know exactly what they want…” he smiled a little at the approaching women. “What can I help you beautiful ladies with first?” He offered as he tapped the chitin plate on his chest. He got his answer when they pulled out whips and other dominatrix gear and torture toys as they gave him feral grins with their toothless mouths. “Oh this is going to be fun…” He smirked.


Back with Trixie.


Trixie was feeling much better. Sometimes you should just sit back and enjoy the little things life throws your way. With a smile she was enjoying the show before her. When they got to the bottom Trixie was annoyed at first when the door ran away when they tried to go through it. But watching Rainbow Dash, the pony that had started the heckling that ultimately led up to the attack that Trixie had been blamed for, flying around trying and failing to outwit the door was an amusing sight. It grew more so when she managed to catch the door handle by sheer use of her speed only for the door to take off around the room once again dragging the pegasus around with it. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and Twilight ended it by restraining the door with her magic and fell into a dark magic trap which went too far for Trixie's tastes.

"Brimstone could you do something about that gem." Trixie said with exasperation. Wordlessly the male dragon walked up to the door and pulled the gem out and without a thought popped it into his mouth and chewed on it like it was a piece of candy. With the gem destroyed and the curse unable to take root into anything do to not being strong enough to get past Brimstone's magic resistance Twilight was freed from her nightmare.

"W-what happened?" Twilight asked as she tried to shake the dizziness out of her head.

"You fell into a magic trap but it's gone now." Trixie said as she opened and walked through the door. "Oh buck that!" Trixie shouted angrily causing the others to run in and look at what Trixie was looking at. A spiraling staircase that went up so high they couldn't see where it ended. "Anyone want to fly up and see if there is anything up there worth the climb?" Trixie asked aloud which Rainbow quickly complied in the hopes that there would be something awesome up there and without a word flew up as fast as she could. After a few minutes of waiting she came back down with a disappointed look on her face.

"There's nothing up there. It leads to the top of the castle. A small room with no walls and some crystal growth in the middle that almost looks like a cage but it looks like whatever was in it broke out." Rainbow said with a shrug.

"Good work. You saved Trixie from a lot of useless climbing." Trixie said approvingly before turning and moving around the large white room. "Look around for anymore paths to take."


One unimaginably boring hour later.


"This is stupid!" Rainbow shouted in frustration. "We've been at this forever and nothing! We're wasting our time! This area is probably one big trap anyways. All there was, was a broken cage that probably had a monster a long time ago to attack intruders that's just not there anymore!" Rainbow shouted and the entire group were starting to agree with her. "Lets just go see how the others did. Maybe they learned something that can lead us to the real place!" She shouted as she kicked the wall angrily. But when she hit it there was a clicking sound and a section of the wall sank in causing the room to rumble and shake as a hidden passage opened up revealing what appeared to be a lab with books covering one wall and clearly enchanted crystals on a shelf on the other side of the room. There were several crystal tables holding several tools and vials and a few more doors leading to other rooms. And at the very back of the room stood a giant statue of King Sombra made out of various gems. Such as emeralds for the eyes, onyx for his body and rubies for his cape."...How awesome am I?!" Rainbow shouted excitedly as she flew in.

"Hold on! Don't touch anything yet!" Trixie yelled as she and the others followed. When Rainbow Dash landed Trixie tried to contact Rin through the link of the dungeon but was surprised to find she couldn't. Must be the love barrier. Those things don't mix well. Trixie thought as she gave a sigh. "Let's start on the books to see if we can find a journal so Sparkle can do her job." She said as she moved towards the notes and books. Twilight gave Trixie a grateful smile. While they worked Rainbow Dash just sat there waiting as she stared up at the giant statue.

"Come on. Move already. I know you're going to come alive and attack." Rainbow said while looking up at the statue of the dark king.

"Somepony has been reading too many Daring Do books." Brimstone said as he helped look through the books. While everyone was distracted no one noticed three fillies sneak past them and into the room next to the giant statue.

"Finally! That was getting so boring!" Scootaloo exclaimed in a hushed tone.

"Oh! What a pretty doll house!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed as quietly as she could as she hopped up onto a table with a model of the empire made of crystals. Without looking she sat down on a crystal that was sticking out of the table outside of the model causing her to jump while giving out a squeak. The other two got up to see the crystal light up and energy surged through the miniature Crystal Empire. Their worry grew as it built up power but just as it looked like it was about to blow it just stopped and released an illusion of some kind of energy coming out of the top. "How pretty!" Sweetie said happily as she watched the show.


Meanwhile


King Sombra circled the dome that kept him from his castle and slaves. Waiting for an opportunity or idea to come up. As he was waiting he saw the top of his castle give off a wave of dark magic. He got the idea after learning about a fox creature and it's inventions in Equestria. It was rather brilliant he thought. Use a crystal to store energy for later and keep building it up so when you need it you can do some damage. Unfortunately for him he got cocky when the two princesses came after him alone. Even more unfortunate was the spell was meant to be soaked up by the clouds and create a devastating storm around his land and the love magic or as it was called in his day slaver magic barrier was meant to soak up the magic given to it from the inside. And if there is one thing any dark magic user knows it's never mix dark magic with love magic. As he watched the lava lamp like display of the magic mixing until it became a dark blue he came to an important decision.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he flew away as fast as he can. Not having any lungs apparently was great for screaming because he didn't stop for ten minutes as he moved to get away nor did he stop and he used his magic to grow several crystals that overlapped into the shape of a bunker and he slipped in through the peephole. After a moment of silence his eyes could be seen through that hole as he watch the speck of a city off in the distance.


Cadence and Shining armor looked up in horror at the unstable mixture of dark and love magic. That barrier was powered by an alicorn so it had a large amount of energy in it and from what they could tell all of that dark magic that came up out of the castle for seemingly no reason had almost as much power to it. All of that power mixing had just turned the shield covering the empire to protect it into the magical equivalent of several tons of nitroglycerin. Trying to shut it down or break it or any shock really could set it off.

The Crystal Heart, gone! The city covered in an explosive deathtrap! Will our heroes be able to save the empire much less themselves with the barrier cutting off Rin from her minions? Will the Cutie Mark Crusaders stop pushing buttons!?

"Hey look a big red one!" Scootaloo said excitedly as she touched her hoof to the crystal causing it to light up. Once it started glowing the door to their room slammed shut trapping them inside as a loud rumble resonated outside followed by the sound of something very big taking steps.

"I knew it!" Rainbow Dash's voice shouted from the other side of the now closed door.

Find out next time! Same fox time! Same fox channel!

Having a Blast!

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With a content smile he gave a nod of thanks to the furry princess for once again gifting him with the chocolaty goodness that he craved. Happily he turned and hopped down the hall to once more work on his giant, rideable puppet project. Determined to get some work done before going forward with his plan to use the magical narrator to pick up some mares.

I wave him off as I turn back to Luna. "So that's the only reason you came to get me? He wanted to see me?" I ask her.

"Well, that and allowing thee the pleasures of sampling our latest culinary masterpiece!" Luna declared. I gave a nod and was about to head back to my dungeon when I felt a disturbance in the force. Mostly because it was yelling at me.

"RIN!" Celestia yelled as she came up to me with anger clear on her face. "Why did a pony just walk by me with Morgan Freeman describing in disturbing detail what he planned to do tonight? We already discussed this! No more curses! I mean what the buck where you thinking?"

"Ok, first off, language. Don't make me get out the royal paddle." I chastised. "And secondly he asked for it! And by that I mean he literally came to me for the sole purpose of getting that curse because he likes it. Silent Mech has been coming back for it every time it wears off." I tell her while giving her a deadpan expression.

"Oh, well... Alright I apologize for exploding like that. And please don't make such ridiculous threats. I am a grown mare and am fully within my rights to use profanities should I feel the need to say buck, horse apples or even the worst profanity of them all." Celestia said causing Luna and I to flail our forelegs in an attempt to signal her not to say it but it was in vain. "Glue." She said with a tone of finality before raising an eyebrow at Luna and I when she saw we weren't looking at her. "What are you-" She began to say before getting a look of panic when she saw what was behind her.

"Glue!" A filly shouted out excitedly.

"Buck!" A colt shouted out shortly after. Soon the entire tour group of foals on their field trip were shouting out pony profanities while the panicked teacher chaperoning was desperately trying to get them to stop.

"No! Little ones you shouldn't use those words. They're bad and will get you in trouble!" Celestia said in desperation.

"But you said them and you're not in trouble." A colt replied.

"Oh yes she is." I say as I grow to a large size so that Celestia was like a child compared to me and I used a portal to retrieve the paddle that was structurally and aerodynamically engineered for disciplining alicorns before sitting in a more human like position . Celestia's eyes widened when she saw the steel paddle. "So what will it be Celestia? Will you get up on my knee or are we washing your mouth out with Luna's cooking?" I asked her before gesturing to the children with my eyes. Celestia opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking back at the children who were watching. She knew that if she didn't go through with it the kids will take it as meaning they could get away with it as well. With a sigh she walked over and laid herself down on my lap. "You kids might want to cover your ears." I say before I use my magic to hold the paddle because I didn't have the physical strength to swing the thing hard enough for it to work.


In another part of Canterlot.


Window Shine was hard at work washing the top floor windows when he was startled into dropping his squeegee and almost falling over the railing of the lift by a loud and thunderous crack. He looked around with wide eyes and swaying ears as he attempted to find the source of the sound that was now echoing off the walls of the surrounding buildings. Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack! The sound exploded again and again leaving all of Canterlot in a state of confusion.


Back at the palace.


Celestia rose back onto her hooves, careful not to bump into the hall's wall with her now red posterior before turning back to the children. "You see my little ponies. Even I got into trouble for saying those bad words. So please stop." She said through a pained smile. All of the kids nodded in agreement while the teacher just stood there in wide eyed shock at what she had just witnessed. Celestia turned her head back around but stopped to glare at the space to my left. "Luna what was that?" Celestia asked causing me to turn and look at the moon princess as well.

"Nothing!" She lied as she tried to hide something behind her back.

"Give me the camera Luna." Celestia demanded as she marched towards her sister or as close to marching as she could at the moment.

"Never!" Luna declared as she turned to fly out the window. Celestia quickly jumped out after her to retrieve the evidence. As Celestia jumps through the window I shrank back down and watch through the very window they jumped through but all of us stopped when a new sound of a distant explosion filled the air off in the distance of the frozen north where the Crystal Empire was located and where a distant fireball could be seen.


One hour earlier.


"What is she doing?" Trixie asked as she looked up at Rainbow Dash who was flying around the giant Sombra statue. Taking full advantage of her speed and the slow movements of the crystal colossus to employ hit and run tactics. Though the difference in speed allowed Rainbow to avoid getting hit the hard body of the colossus was too strong to take any damage from Rainbow's hooves.

"I think she's trying to punch and kick it into submission. Hey Rainbow!" Brimstone called out but was hushed by Trixie.

"Let's see how long it takes her." Trixie said without taking her eyes off the display.

"We have a job to do and innocent ponies are suffering out there. And the longer this goes on the more likely something important or dangerous gets crushed." Cinder tried to reason getting a sigh from Trixie.

"Trixie guesses you're right. You two eat gems so see if you can take it apart. If we're lucky the gems are just outer armor and its insides are frail and important. Just don't eat any of it. We don't know how it was made so it might be poisonous to dragons. It was built as a weapon so it's possible." Trixie replies with a tone of disappointment but turns to surprise when the colossus gave up on Rainbow and tried to crush Twilight under hoof. Twilight gave a shout of surprise before teleporting just before she could become a red stain under the giant hoof and reappeared over where the colossus was standing when it was an immobile statue.

Twilight took a few deep breaths to calm herself before charging up her horn while the colossus turned around to try to stomp on her again. As it raised its hoof up Twilight released a powerful ball of magic that went flying at the construct. But much to everyone's surprise when the ball of magical energy hit the reflective surface of it's crystal body it bounced back forcing Twilight to teleport again. The room shook with the force of her attack which left a small crater where she was just standing.

During this time the two dragons flew up and landed on the giant's back and started clawing at it. While doing this Trixie decided to try and distract it. To do this she cast the biggest illusion she had ever cast and showed the colossus what in her mind would be the most annoying, nerve wracking thing she could think of. With a flash of light Rainbow Dash stopped her flight and looked around the room in wide eyed wonder at all of the copies of herself flying around with her.

"Wow you're fat. You need to lay off the sweets there big guy."

"Magic smagic, boo!"

"You're more sparkly than a filly's hoof painting after they split the glider all over it!"

"They don't call me Rainbow and Dash for nothing."

Rainbow blinked owlishly for a moment before getting a cocky smirk on her face and flying up to the colossus. "Oh ya! Prepare to be overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of a room full of me!" Rainbow gloated as she landed on its muzzle and started making faces at it. With Rainbow sitting still on its face the colossus brought its hoof up to smash her but seeing the attack coming thanks to the reflective shine of its crystal body Rainbow was ably to get out of the way in time allowing the crystal Sombra to punch itself creating a spiderweb of cracks across its face.

"Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!" One of the illusionary Rainbow Dash's mocked as the others laughed and pointed at the colossus.

"Best, spell, ever!" Rainbow shouted out with a laugh. The colossus however was soulless and couldn't understand the taunts nor would it care if it did. Instead it turned its attention towards the dragons on it's back and tried to crush them with its giant hoof but was unable to reach them because they were digging in that one spot in the middle of it's back that nopony could reach without magic or a back scratcher. After a few failed attempts the colossus sat back against the wall and leaned back to crush them against the wall. When it pulled itself forward again both dragons were imbedded in the wall but were quickly working to pull themselves out.

The colossus then started to turn around to finish the two dragons off before Trixie drew its attention by dropping the Rainbow Dash illusion and firing off illusionary fireworks in it's face. "Leave Trixie's friends alone!" Trixie shouted as she undid the lock on the dragon bone box that Rin had given her and threw the box undoubtedly to unleash a squadron of shadows on it...Only for it to sail way off it's mark and to the left but Rainbow Dash moved in quickly and bucked the box into it's left nostril. When she busked the box the lid came open and several shadowy creatures came flying out and from the sounds coming from the colossus some didn't get out until after the box went in and were now attacking it's insides.

The colossus started shaking and allowing itself to crash to the floor before getting up and repeating the action again in an attempt to get to the shadows inside while the ones outside were wailing on it, slashing at it, or bucking it with their shadowy hooves depending on the form it took. Some looked human, some looked like the many inhabitants of this world and some looked like nothing they recognized.

Finally Freeing themselves the dragons flew up and saw an opportunity when the colossus opened it's mouth wide and tried to dig it's hoof in to get to the shadows inside. Flying over they entered the gaping mouth and barely avoided the hoof and slid down it's cramped gullet that looked suspiciously like it was meant to be used as an entrance to something before falling into a chamber in the crystal giant's chest that was holding a round, glowing crystal as big as a pony.

"Looks kind of like a smaller version of one of those mana batteries used to power those flying warships the princess has don’t it?" Brimstone said matter of factly.

"It's probably very important." Cinder agreed before the two cracked their knuckles.

Meanwhile on the outside the colossus was going nuts. It was attacking anypony it could get close to but would keep twitching like it was glitching out forcing the ponies to take evasive action. When Trixie was cornered she turned around and prepared to use the invisibility spell she had recently learned to slip away but before she could cast it the colossus gave a mighty spasm before falling over in a heap. The room went mostly silent with even the outside shadows stopping their attack and moving off to aimlessly wander around till they find something else to fight. The exception to the silence was the cracking sound being made by the shadows that were slipping through the cracks on the giants crystal face instead of the nostrils or mouth.

The ponies then tensed as the head started to move before relaxing when the two dragons dug out through the neck of the crystal giant.

"Don't worry we took out it's mana battery. I don't think it will be getting up again." Cinder called out causing Trixie to sigh with relief before speaking.

"Ok what triggered that thing?" Trixie demanded.

"Well...that crystal door slammed shut just before it activated." Twilight said while pointing at the door blocking the path to another room they hadn't explored.

From inside the control room three fillies turn their heads as a spider web of cracks appeared on the door that had slammed shut behind them. With a thunk and scraping sound the cracks grew larger and shortly after that a scaly claw broke through before pulling back and it and three more claws started digging at the hole to make it bigger. Soon the hole was big enough for the party to slip through to find the three fillies from before much to the surprise of all but Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Both of which face hoofed at seeing who the culprits were.

"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo yelled as she ran over. "You were so awesome! We saw the whole thing on this wearied crystal thingy! My favorite part was when there was lots of Rainbow Dashes!"

"Oh ya! That was my favorite part to!" Rainbow shouted excitedly as she raised her hoof for Scootaloo to give a hoof bump but Rainbow's attention was quickly drawn by the sound of a clearing throat and turned to see the others glaring at her. "What I mean to say is...Why are you here? You should have stayed in your room and not touched anything. This is an evil villain's lair! You could make the whole place blow up messing with this stuff!"

"All we did was wake up the giant and that was an accident." Sweetie Belle wined before her face scrunched up in thought. "Well that and make this wearied smoky stuff come out from the top of the little palace." she continued while gesturing to the model. "Nothing that could blow the place up." She said with a confident nod.

"Everyone come quick! A short while ago dark magic rose up like smoke from the top of the crystal palace and mixed with the love magic shield! Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence said that it turned the shield into a giant bomb and they need help finding a solution before it blows the entire Crystal Empire away!" Spike shouted in a panicked tone as he came running into the room. The entire room went silent for a moment with everyone looking at spike with wide eyed horror except for Sweetie Belle who's right eye was twitching.

"Oh come on!" Sweetie shouted in frustration before being picked up in a purple magical aura along with her two friends and being shoved into the arms of Cinder.

Please look after them and for the love of all that is good please don't let them go and don't let them touch anything!" Twilight begged before taking off back up to the throne room with the others behind her. When they reached the top of the stairs those who didn't fly huffed and wheezed over to the balcony to see the crystal ponies moving into the palace with fearful expressions.

"We're evacuating the city into the palace. It will be tight but it was the best plan we could think of." Shining Armor said with worry as he walked up next to them. First plan was to use the mines King Sombra forced them to work in but it turns out he didn't care enough for their well being to allow them proper safety measures so the explosion would probably cause a cave in. You're the smartest pony I know Twilight so I know you can think of something." At Shining's words Twilight looked out at the city in deep thought. While she was trying to think of a solution Trixie reached into her cape and pulled out something she found in her room a while ago. A small scythe that had made her jump to amazing new heights when she found it. Though that was because she found it by sitting on it.

"This looks like a time to call in some major help." Trixie announced as she lifted the token up. "Through your token Trixie summons you! Come to our aid and help us save the Crystal Empire!"

......

"Lee? The great and powerful Trixie is calling you!" Trixie shouted as she shook the thing before looking closely at it. Now that she's looking at it closely it looks duller, paler. Now that she thinks about it the message isn't playing in her head like it did the first time. It's almost like the token died. Not liking the implications of that Trixie slipped the token back into her cape before looking back to the others who were looking at her expectantly. Taking on a look of thought for a moment Trixie balanced herself on her hind hooves to raise her forehooves into the air. "The great and powerful Trixie!" Trixie exclaimed in a tone that told everyone that she had something important to tell them. "Is out of ideas!"

"Well can't you just put up another barrier inside this one to protect us from the exploding one?" Rainbow asked but Twilight shook her head.

"The blast would just break through any barrier we put up." Twilight said sadly thought Trixie looked up with a gleam of inspiration in her eyes.

"It would break through one but what if we made more than that? One shield after another with space between them? The explosion will take the easiest escape and with all that open space out there each shield will greatly reduce the damage!" Trixie shouted excitedly giving Twilight a thoughtful look.

"Theoretically that could work but our two strongest shield casters are exhausted from keeping up the now unstable shield." Twilight countered.

"You need to pay more attention to your own brother Twilight. He said Sombra had already bested his shields so why would he be sustaining this one? And if you haven't noticed he looks much more rested than princess Cadence." Trixie countered. "What do you think prince Armor? Think you can pull it off?"

"I think so. I would have to make the outermost shield smaller than I normally would to save energy for the others inside it." He said with a look thoughtfulness.

"Sacrificing a chunk of the city is better than losing all of it. Besides it's the citizens that are important and they are being gathered in the palace. The buildings can be repaired or replaced." Trixie said with a dismissive wave of the hoof.

"She's right. I can help you Shiny. We need to save the crystal ponies." Twilight said and with a nod the two walked up to the railing. "But first we need something to trigger the blast when ready." She said as she cast a come to life spell on a merchant's stall as well as a triggering spell. As it rolled down the street and towards the barrier Shining cast a large barrier that covered a good chunk of the city once the cart passed that point and charged up and castes another smaller one inside that one. With sweat running down his brow and a grunt of effort Shining Armor forced out a third shield. Once it was clear that was all he could sustain Twilight cast a smaller shield inside that one and with some effort another one covering the palace itself. With five barriers covering the palace and the palace walls protecting everyone in the city they moved away from the windows and got down and covered their ears.

"Um...Miss dragon? I don't think you understand the meaning of the term babysitting." Sweetie complained from under Cinder who had set them on the seat cushion she took off the throne and set on the floor before curling up over them.

"I understand it just fine I'm just not taking any chances." Cynder said as she covered her ears with her claws. They then waited for the explosion before Shining Armor's eyes widened with realization.

"Wait shouldn't we have warned Cadence and all the crystal ponies she's looking after down there?" Before he or anyone else could do anything about it the earth shook with an ear shattering explosion and a bright light. With a dazed groan everyone crawled over to the windows to see the damage except for Cinder who was still keeping the CMC restrained by being too dizzy to get up. Not that the three could get away as dazed as they were.


Outside the borders of the Crystal Empire. A few minutes later.


The portal burst forth from the ground which Celestia and Luna immediately jumped through with a small contingent of guards followed closely by me and my bodyguards.

"Aunty what did I just say!?" Celestia demanded.

"I'm not in the Empire I'm outside it." I said as I gesture to my surroundings. A loophole that she clearly didn't find even the slightest bit amusing. Before she could retort Luna tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to the city. The outer part was gone. Just gone. The section after that was ruble than after that ruins and after that cracked buildings.

"Guards! Get to the palace and look for survivors!" Celestia ordered causing the royal guards to charge down there save for Unyielding and Swift who stayed by my side to protect me. I was about to call on my imps to search the wrecked city when we heard a dark laugh.

"My palace, my slaves, they live!" King Sombra called out in victory as he flew towards the damaged city. Celestia, Luna and I weren't having any of that. A bright, golden dome quickly surrounded the shadowy king and us.

"I've planned for this day for a while. This ends now and this time you go down alone." Celestia said through clenched teeth. The dark king laughed at that before shooting a beam at us. We dodged in all directions just in time to avoid getting impaled by black crystals that had shot up out of the ground. Unyielding was the only one who didn't get out in time but her armor protected her so that all the crystals did was push her back. "Enough!" Celestia shouted in the royal Canterlot voice as she cast a new spell that gave off a golden radiance that burned Sombra's shadows away turning him back into a physical pony.

Taking advantage of this Unyielding charged at Sombra quickly and swung her sword forcing Sombra to raise up a thick crystal to use as a shield. Which to his surprise cracked and fell over though at least it stopped the blade. Jumping back Sombra cast another crystal spell at the ground only instead of trying to impale her they grew around her to restrain her. While he was distracted with my black knight Luna blasted him from the side. He was unable to avoid it because he was so focused on stopping the knight. He flew through the air but stopped himself with a crystal. Unfortunately for Sombra I saw it growing and using that all important lessen any gamer who played space invaders learned, or died trying, and aimed at where he was going to be with the inferno spell forcing him to fly through and, thanks to his own crystal, stop in the middle of a burning inferno. He screamed in pain before jumping out and stopped, dropped and rolled around in the snow to put out the flames and cool himself off.

Seeing my chance I made for my finishing move and attached my magic to his through his horn and started pulling as fast and hard as I could. Stopping and looking up in wide eyed horror he tried to pull back but thanks to my magic building exercises I did in stone along with all the magic I've already taken and the head start I got by taking him by surprise it was useless and with a mighty last tug I pulled out his magic and gulped it down for my magic to absorb and grow.

"Mmmm Taste like rock candy." I say as I lick my chops.

"No! Give it back it's mine!" Sombra shouted as he jumped up and charged at me with his horn set to stab me. However I just stood there and watched as he got close and Swift got in his way and with a swift swing the horn continued on its path a while before sliding to a stop at my paws while Sombra himself stopped in front of Swift. Enraged Sombra got into a fighting stance and was ready to show his skills until he was wrapped in a golden blue aura and was lifted into the air and restrained by Luna. With the villain stopped I took the horn and sent it back to my dungeon as Celestia dropped the barrier around us.

"Your majesties! We have confirmed that everypony was safely inside the palace when the explosion went off." One of the guards said as he came back with the prince and princess, The later had her mane and tail stuck up like she had put her tongue in a toaster. As well as a few crystal ponies that suddenly looked dazed before shaking their heads.

"Wait I...I remember!" One of the crystal ponies shouted followed closely by the others. With Sombra defeated and stripped of his power his spell wore off.

"The Crystal Heart! That badly burnt pony stole it!" On of the crystal ponies shouted in horror. "I didn't recognize it when I saw it but a badly burnt pony had the heart and left with it!" He shouted causing the other crystal ponies that were there to start freaking out. Forcing Cadence to try and calm them down. I on the other hand couldn't help but think of the assassin that Trixie had flushed down the toilet that the guards were never able to find. And I didn't like the answers my mind came up with when wondering what someone like him would want with such an artifact. I shake my head at this knowing that Celestia will definitely not let me look for it myself. Not even with my minions. So I walk up to the restrained Sombra but before I could do anything Luna came up to me and whispered into my ear.

"I don't know. I was planning to dollify and shrink him before trapping him in a pinball machine or a snow globe. I hadn't decided yet." I say but she hits me with the puppy pout. "Fine." I relent with a sigh before she squealed and forced him asleep with a spell for easy transport. I first used my healing spell and a lot of energy to heal the burns before getting to work on Luna's request.


Several hours later.


With a groan Sombra woke up in a strange bed in what appeared to be a prison cell. The first thing he noticed was that he was in a pink dress with darker pink, sparkly hearts all over it with a bow on his head.

"Thou have awaken!" A booming voice shouted excitedly before a lock on the ceiling opened up and he was pulled out in a blue aura before finding himself face to face with a giant princess of the moon. "Welcome to your new home princess Froofroo! You're going to love it here! We'll take good care of you and play with you every day! And the best part is that every meal will be home cooked by us! Aren't we the best pet owner!" Luna squealed in excitement before using her magic to lift a small glob of something that looked and smelled like the mix of what would come out of both ends of a sick pony before it was forcefully crammed into his mouth. And at that moment Sombra knew what it was like to experience death without dying. "Fill up little one! After thou eat we had an appointment with a vet to get thou neutered! Thou would need all of thy strength for that." She said excitedly as she continued to stuff more and more of her home cooked food into the helpless tyrant.


"It took you long enough to find me." The burnt pony said with a raspy voice as he continued to look at the Crystal Heart in his hooves. "In brightest day and darkest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might. Beware my power and righteous light!" He called out causing the griffins that were hiding in the surrounding area to come out.

"Who are you and how do you know that oath created by our founder? Answer me now!" The obvious leader demanded.

"What's wrong Talon? Don't recognize your old buddy Hunter?" The burnt pony asked shocking all there.

"Hunter? But you died! You blew yourself up trying to kill the dark fox!" She exclaimed.

"No not dead. Not my brightest move I'll admit but I live on to fight again. I understand if you don't believe I survived and am willing to undergo any tests to prove I'm who I claim to be and am not undead." Hunter said simply. The griffins looked to each other before nodding and taking formation around him and leading him away.

Finale Exam.

View Online

“You come to a large chamber where several crates filled with the goods stolen from the caravans that the shop owners had hired you to find. In the center of the back wall is a pony with a long scar running down his face and dressed in leather armor and a black cloak with the hood down sitting in a wooden chair. On each side of the chair sat a pair of iron defenders ready to attack at their master’s command. Above you is a balcony circling the room with ten thugs armed with crossbows.” Table Top said as he looked down at his screen and papers. It looked almost comical how he was forced to sit on the floor and crouch to tell the story. He then changed his voice in a mock Trottingham accent.

“Well, well look what the cat dragged in. I’m impressed that you got by my traps and guard dogs but-”

“The graceful and cunning Moon Shadow throws a poisoned dagger at the loud mouth’s head.” Trixie interrupted causing Table Top to give her a flat stair.

“Are you seriously planning to attack every time a character is monologuing?” Table Top asked. “This is the third time now!”

“Why not? The bad pony is distracted.” Trixie asked hotly.

“Fine but the more you do it the more of a reputation you get for it so you get a penalty each time you do it and will need to stop for a while for it to go away. For now it’s a -1” Table Top groaned as he rolled his dice.

“With the simply lean to the side the dagger passes harmlessly by his head and digs itself deep into the back of his chair.” Table Top said before going back to the fake accent. “Yes I’ve heard of you. Well if you’re going to act like a barbarian let's get this over with.” Table Top said before going back to his normal voice. “As the bandit leader stood up he lifted his hood over his head causing him to shimmer out of sight.”

“He has a cloak of invisibility? Moon Shadow must have it!” Trixie exclaimed.

“With a rattle and the clanging of metal the two iron defenders came to life and started moving in to attack as the ten goons above ready their bows...Roll for-” Table Top began to say before getting interrupted again.

“Will Namiro, Vinyl and Cluck please report to the war room?” Rin’s voice echoed through their heads. Cluck Norris gave a cluck as he set his dice back onto his character sheet before jumping up on Namiro’s head.

The changeling rolled his eyes as he stood up and began to make his way out the door. “Any ideas on what she wants us for?” He asks the veteran only to get a cluck on negative.


I look up from the research papers taken from Sombra’s lab to see the last two enter the war room which I had been using as an office because it came with a large table/war map and comfy chairs and I was to lazy to invent a new room when I can use another for the same purpose.

“Oh good you’re here. Quick Namiro pop quiz! You know that it’s wrong to bring someone back from being long dead and moved on but do you know what the consequences are?” I ask as I point a paw at the changeling.

The changeling blinked a little bit. “Well… First of all, it creates a large enough strain on the Force User that even if the attempt were to be successful, you’re likely trading your life for theirs.” He replied.

“Well that is one possible consequence if you don’t know what you’re doing but I was talking about for the one you try to bring back. After looking through king Sombra’s records I found he was dabbling in amateur necromancy and was trying to find a way to bring his brainwashed troops back again and again for his plans of world domination.” I say with a wave of my paws as Vinyl groans and her head slumps.

“Cleanup duty?” She asked.

“That’s correct and it’s also a last exam before you graduate Namiro. Allow me to give you a little lesson on what happens when you try to use the darkness to bring back those who moved on. At first nothing is wrong. Loved one is back and everyone's happy. But after a while their personality starts to degrade. They stop feeling empathy and can no longer understand why it’s wrong to do bad things. Shortly after that they die but still move around trapped in their own cadavers. Bone shape starts to change in unnatural ways, the tongue elongates, their eye sockets sink, they get really pale and in the case of ponies their cutie marks disappear. Shortly after that comes the hunger. Think undead, sociopathic junky constantly suffering from withdrawal from an addiction that will never go away and the only relief is the flesh of other sentient beings.” I say in a lecturing tone.

“Ghouls.” Vinyl groaned. “Don’t forget to tell him about the limits the brain puts on their muscles shuts down making them monstrously strong.”

The changeling gave a few more blinks. “Wait… you mean like Dungeons and Dragons-style ghouls? Or a different manner altogether, because I’m pretty familiar with how those ghouls run.” He explained. “Actually… you could have simply said that he made ghouls and I would’ve had at least the basic gist of what you meant we had to ‘clean up’... as Vinyl said.”

“Well they do run somewhat like D&D ghouls but the real ones as Vinyl said are monstrously strong and have senses beyond what the game has. So they will be able to tell where you are before you can tell where they are while your connection to The Force is so restricted. They also don’t die unless you destroy the body completely. Fire is good. I suggest you use that saber of yours to dismember them because before you destroy them their is something you must remove first or they taint the place.” I say as I push a bone dagger with a crystal handle. “Stab them through the heart with this and it will suck the taint out and store in in the handle. I want you to go there and clear the place out using the dark side. Using it in a real life or death battle is the last test. Vinyl will be scoring you and Cluck is going just in case. Any questions?”

Namiro shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I get what I’m supposed to do, because of the crystal I gave to you my connection to The Force has been slowly growing here… though, we’ll need to arrange some way to transplant one of the crystals on my world to this one so that the connection grows a bit quicker… we’ll deal with that later though.”

With a nod I open a portal allowing them to get to the ‘test site’. Once on the other side they were faced with a large crystal door guarded by several crystal ponies.

“Are you the ones being sent to deal with the...infestation?” The most decorated crystal pony asked in a tone that suggested he was extremely uncomfortable talking about it.

“Yep, I’m here to help clear out the ghouls, if any of you happen to have a flamethrower it would be much appreciated if you keep it trained on the door, just in case any happen to get past me.” Namiro chuckled before he looked back to Vinyl with a smile. “I’m ready if you are.”

With a nod the three walked forward and with a determined look on their faces waited ten minutes while the guards unlocked all the locks on the door before opening it just enough for some of the guards to quickly push them through and slam the door shut again. They could hear the sounds of the locks being reset again.

“Rude much?” Vinyl asked while glaring at the door.

“Oh yes they’re very rude. We gave them several invitations to them to come join us for a good meal but they never do.” A distorted voice called out from the shadows.

“Yesss… We’re glad you’re not so rude. We’d love to have you for dinner.” Another voice called out.

Namiro’s ear twitched a little towards Vinyl. “...Purge the heretic time?” he asked.

“Please don’t say things that make you sound like one of those Goodly Hero plotholes...But ya.” She replied before jumping into the air just barely avoid the ghoul that shot across like a bullet in an attempt to take her away into the shadows.

Namiro had a small grin on his face as he decided to enjoy himself a bit more. “My armor is Contempt, my shield is Disgust, my sword is hatred… In the emperor’s name, let none survive.” He quoted from his favorite tabletop game just as he summoned a sphere of fire in his free hand and lit his saber with the other. With the light shining several pony shapes moved behind several obstructions.

“Oh look a firefly! Pretty!”

“How generous, he brought his own cooking fire but unnecessary. We like it raw.” At this a ghoul leaped down from above trying to take the changeling from behind.

With a laugh of excitement the changeling extended his hand to let out a gout of flame that seemed to fill the entire corridor while his right hand quickly swept behind him cutting the head off the attacker he didn’t even know was there.

“Nice! Good reflexes I was sure you didn’t see that one coming.” Vinyl complemented. “You might want to watch out for that head though.” She said as she points to the head that was about to bite into his leg.

A small jump and quick draw later, the changeling plunged the dagger into the heart of the corpse that had landed behind him. “Wow… thanks for the warning Vi, I didn’t even notice he was back there.”

“So.... It was dumb luck?” Vinyl asked with a deadpan before facehoofing.

“um… I guess?” Namiro replied. “I think I managed to catch one of them on fire though.” He offered. “...okay… well… a little bit on fire…”

“What!? No you’re supposed to use the dagger first! Don’t let it burn till you remove the infection taint first!” Vinyl shouted.

The changeling rolled his eyes. “yeesh… the dark side has even more rules than the Light side, makes ya wonder why people are stupid enough to use it.” He muttered as he sprinted into close quarters with the ghoul that had a burning foot.

“This is a pretty black and white subject for both sides and you know it.” She deadpanned as she watched the ghoul try to bite Namiro’s face off.

The changeling brought the hilt of his saber up to meet the teeth of the ghoul just before he activated the blade again. “What do you mean? I’ve always heard people go crazy over that Dark side crap because it has ‘less rules and isn’t as constricting’ as the light side… but this is really showing to be far more annoying in any case.” He explained as he brought the blade of the dagger into the ghoul’s heart.

“Look the way these guys were brought back means they have something really nasty in them that needs to be disposed of in the right way. Aside from a few simple instruction to keep yourself from getting controlled by the darkness these are the only rules you were given. Well that and Rin’s room and dark artifact toy box is off limits but that didn’t really have anything to do with the training as much as personal space.” Vinyl said as she pulled out a notepad and pen and started writing things down. Looking down at the crystal handle he saw some black wisp inside that gave him a strong sense of wrongness.

With a powerful yank the changeling pulled out the dagger and deactivated his blade before letting The Force unleash a jet of flame over the ghoul which flailed about and continued to attack. Charging at Namiro like a flaming rhino. With a bored look the changeling used a large wave of telekinesis to knock the attack to the side and send it sprawling as it continued to burn. “All I’m saying is that this whole ‘dark side’ stuff is ridiculous, I don’t know why people think it’s an easier grab to power when it’s obvious from the first use that it’s harmful for you. I’ve been getting physically ill lately every time I use it so I’m not enjoying the training just as much as Rin isn’t enjoying being a mentor.” He began as he let another jet of flame sear the ghoul that he had decapitated as it’s body had been feeling around for its head. “huh… the way Rin put it… I was actually kinda expecting more.”

“Be Careful what you wish for kid. Noticed that the others have disappeared? Ghouls aren't zombies. They’re smart enough to learn that frontal assaults don’t work when they see another fail at it. Be on your guard and never underestimate your enemy.” Vinyl chastised. “Don’t assume this is chase down the runners either they still want to eat you they’re just going to be trickier about it now.”

The changeling let out another frown as he looked down the corridor. “I hate fetch quests…” he muttered as he began walking with a lit saber. As he was walking he heard a slight sound above him as several large chunks of crystal came crashing down. He could just barely see the manic grin above before it was obstructed by the heavy gems the ghoul intended to crush him with.

A small twitch of the changeling’s ear was all that happened before a thick cloud of dust came up around the impact. Cluck was about to move in but Vinyl blocked his path with a hoof shaking her head no before turning back to the scene. Slowly one of the ghouls crept up and tossed a stone next to the pile. When nothing happened he moved closer and started sniffing.

“Sweet sweet smell of fresh blood.” He said in a sing song voice and started digging at the pile like a dog. One by one more ghouls came out and started digging at the rubble.

Quietly, behind the group of ghouls, several large crystal shards began to float into the air as they aimed at the middle of their spines. A slow rotation began to start up as the digging continued.

“Yummy!” A ghoul mare cheered when she found a leg and leaned down to take a bite only for her to be stopped by the pain of being impaled as she and the others screamed out in pain and quickly turned and tried to crawl back into the safety of their hiding places.

“Not so fast…” Namiro said with a glare as he used The Force to drag the impaled ghouls back and force the pierced crystals to the ground. “Seriously Vinyl? Needing a dagger to ‘clean’ the infection? Why wouldn’t immolating the corpses really not work here?” He asked in an annoyed tone as the dagger floated over the nearest ghoul and shot through its back and into its heart.

“Did you know that Rin used to be the adviser the Celestia and Luna’s parents on all things dark magic? Unfortunately old king Salaris didn’t trust her for a while and tended to do some stupid stuff. Like breaking a cursed orb she wanted to study that reanimated the dead just by being near dead bodies. As as a result the taint seeped into the soil of a necropolis so that every time the undead in there was slain it would be re-reanimated again and again. The stuff you’re taking out of those ghouls poisons the land into what Rin calls blight land. I think she named it after something in a strategy game if I recall. Something about warcraft? Anyways the point is this stuff poisons the land and those unfortunate enough to be near the stuff long enough to make them sick and we’re under a city right now. For what it’s worth ghouls are about the most annoying things to clean up and you’re doing good for your first try.” Vinyl said encouragingly as she scribbled down in her notebook.

The changeling let out a grumble as he torched the first ghoul of the pinned group. “Stupid… why’s it always got to have stupid rules to go with everything…” His expression soured as he moved the dagger to the next one.

“Why are you whining ghouls are just like this. It wouldn’t be the same with most anything else she could have sent you after. Between you and me I think she’s using this as your last test so she doesn't have to deal with it herself.” Vinyl said with a nod as Namiro finished off another ghoul. “Great I just sense one more. It feels stronger though so be ready for a boss fight. And hope it's not one of those ghouls that got desperate enough to eat other ghouls.”

“It’s not just the damn ghouls!” Namiro replied with a scowl as he quickly and sloppily tore the dagger out of the second ghoul and impaled the third one repeatedly as he began to light the second one on fire. “I’m starting to get real sick of all this Dark side and Light side crap!” He nearly shouted.

Fooooood” A deep voice called out and a large and seriously deformed ghoul came out. It looked like a cross between a pony, a licker from Resident Evil and a death claw from the Fallout games minus the horns.

The changeling’s eyes began to glow red as he let his shifting-flames wash over him in a quick lightshow of green and red before revealing him to be almost the exact same but with red-tipped spines over his carapace. “And don’t even get me started on this crap!” He shouted as he unleashed a gout of flame towards the new monster only for it to jump over to the wall and charge at him with far greater speed than the other ghouls had before leaping at him from the sides with its mouth wide open. Its long tongue wrapping around the changeling’s neck and it started pulling itself at its prey like a hook shot from the Zelda games.

“Yep that’s one of those cannibal ghouls. Careful they’re scrappy and regenerate.” Vinyl called out.

Namiro scowled as he quickly brought his saber up to slice at the tongue while using his other hand to send a bolt of lightning at the ghoul. The ghoul howled in pain and anger but dug its claws in the ground and pushed forward. Its mouth widening further as it got close ready to take a bite. A quick duck from the changeling and subsequent upward slice of the activated saber brought the plasma blade up towards the creature’s stomach as he ducked the attack. The blade went through but instead of trying to get away it grabbed Namiro’s hand and the hilt of his saber lunged its head forward to try to bite off Namiro’s.

“If you would like some advice draining it with the dagger will weaken that healing factor!” Vinyl called out as she watched. Leaning back against the wall like she was watching a movie.

The changeling brought the dagger up to the creature’s chin and began to twist as it pierced the skin but still it tried to push forward. It’s jaws opening and snapping shut hungrily.

“Hey you need some help?” Vinyl asked in a worried sounding voice.

Namiro grit his teeth angrily as he felt himself being pushed back. “Well… my reserves are running low…” He replied. With a grunt Vinyl pulled herself up and her and Cluck ran over. Vinyl used her own undead strength to knock it back while Cluck moved in with his own energy sword and cut off the hand it was using to hold Namiro’s hand and saber in place. With a slick sound the dagger came out on the ghouls neck as it was forced back. Moving quickly Vinyl got close and started wailing on the thing while dancing around its swings but the damage would quickly heal and even the lost hand was slowly growing back.

“Get that dagger in its heart already!” Vinyl called out as Cluck moved in and started cutting off anything it could without leaving himself open. Namiro growled a little as he lunged out with the dagger, trying to place a good shot as he started to feel a bit more numb and sluggish. Thankfully Vinyl and Cluck did a good job keeping its attention and the blade made it through. Almost instantly the crystal want completely black and the creature roared angrily as it became detectably sluggish and its regeneration slowed to the point it was barely noticeable. Once that happened Cluck pulled out an incendiary grenade and threw it into the creature's mouth allowing it to go off it the ghouls stomach. As it screeched in pain it fell over allowing the small group to pull back and watch it burn.

“Not bad kid. Sure you got a little moody but not as bad as Octy during her time of the-” Vinyl began to say before looking up in horror. “Oh sweet Luna vampire Octy on the rag.” She said with a shudder.

Namiro gave her a confused look. “Since you two are considered undead… and thus don’t have a heartbeat… wouldn’t that mean that normal biological functions like estrus and whatnot don’t actually affect you?”

“The bleeding down there part ya but other than that no it still affects our mood. So long as we are capable of reproduction we have that to.” Vinyl answered with a shake of her head. “We’re done boss, bring us back!” Vinyl called out before disappearing followed closely by Cluck and then Namiro was with them in the clutches of a giant hand flying across a distorted and discolored world. “I love riding the hand don’t you?” Vinyl asked as she stuck her head out over the side and let her tongue hang out her open mouth like a dog would when sticking its head out a car window.

Namiro simply let himself lean against it in as comfortable a position as he could so that he could get some sleep, he did seem a bit more of a pale green than his usual self.


Later that day.


“Congratulations Namiro on graduating Rin’s dark arts class at the Foxytail school of witchcraft and wizardry!” I call out from the stage wearing my black robes and graduation hat. “Please come up and get your diploma!”

Namiro got up with a small roll of his eyes at the theatrics, a mug in his hand filled with pink gel was all he brought with him as he tried to keep from stumbling up to the stage. Before he could get onto the stage however he was hit with a shot of dark Magic from yours truly and the next thing he knew he was dressed in a graduation getup hat and all. With another eye roll Namiro continued up onto the stage where I hand him his diploma and present my paw to shake his hand.

He hovered the mug in his Force grasp as he completed the shake and took the diploma with a small chuckle.

“May you go forth and do great things for the people of your world.” I announce with a smile before turning to the minions that cared to show up in the stands. “And let us go to the celebratory party Pinkie Pie set up in the next room before those burning candles floating over our heads start dripping burning hot wax on us!” I call out cheerfully causing the audience to look up at the floating candles in surprise that showed that none of them considered that before they all quickly covered their heads as best as they could and ran out the door.

“This is… perhaps the weirdest sort of training I’ve ever had…” Namiro sighed with a half-chuckle as he followed the crowd.

“I may be unorthodox but my methods do work.” I say to myself once the room was empty before looking up and canceling the spell making the very melty looking candles floating overhead vanish along with the illusion spell that created the image in the first place. “Now time for some cake. We only have five hundred pounds of it so I don’t have long before Celestia eats it all.”

The Founding of Toy Town.

View Online

"Aaaaaannnnnnnd... done!" I cry out happily. I don't think I'll ever get used to losing so much time in my day but every day there is more paperwork for me to go through that takes me a few hours. A few mind numbingly boring hours. I lean back in my seat as I look over to the other desks in the room. I don't know why all of the princesses share one room for this stuff but all of the paperwork comes here and I frown at seeing that Celestia and Luna have yet to even touch their pile. Come to think of it I've never seen them working on their paperwork but it always gets done. After shaking the thought from my head I was about to get up and go study my new things some more. I had already gotten king Sombra's crystal conjuration spell down and wanted to work on how the magic of the beenades I got from that Terraria world worked. But before butt left chair the door opened to Celestia who walked in and over to her desk to work on her pile.

"Now?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Isn't day court starting soon? What were you doing all this time anyways?"

"Yes it will start soon. And if you must know I had a bubble bath followed by a massage and snuck out in disguise to play a round of mini golf." Celestia listed off pleasantly before frowning. "You know it's been some time since we've played. Why don't you make a course and you, me and Luna can have a ball." She said as she went back to her pleasant smile. I was about to respond when her horn flashed gold and I watched with blinking eyes as Celestia moved through her papers turning a job that should have taken hours into a job that took minutes. Her movement were like watching desk clerk the documentary on fast forward.

"...What?" I ask with an eye twitch.

"Hm? Oh the Slow Time spell. It was created by Starswirl the Bearded after you're petrification. It's much like your haste spell only it slows time instead of speeding up the target." Celestia said with a smile. "Well I should be off. I'll see you at lunch aunty." And just like that she was gone.

"Haste spell..." I said with a far away voice before getting up and walking over to the wall before banging my head against it. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! I could have saved so much time all these months! No wonder I've never seen them working on the papers before!" I shout in frustration as I continue to bang my head on the wall but stopped when I heard a sound like something tapping on glass. With a confused blink I turn towards the source of the noise to see a pigeon at the window tapping at the glass like it was trying to get my attention. With a groan I walk over and open the window allowing it to fly in and land on my desk and start cooing at me.

"Sorry buddy I don't speak pigeon." I say tiredly. The bird coos once before jumping up and flying over to one of the walls where a map of Equestria was hung up and while continuing to fly in place started pecking at it. "What is their something there?" I ask when I see it pecking the same spot over and over. "Hold on a sec." I say as I go into my desk drawer and grab a pack of peanut butter crackers before taking one and breaking it into crumbs setting it on my desk. "Take this food as payment for being my minion, at least temporarily so I can understand what you're saying." I tell him which he quickly accepts as he returns to my desk and started eating with gusto.

After a short waited while the little piggy scarfed down all of the crumbs the pigeon started cooing again but thanks to the connection it now had to my heart I could understand him. And what he said made me double take. I quickly rush over and grab him up in my paws and brought him up to my face.

"You're sure about this?" I ask in a hushed tone receiving another coo in response. "And they don't know you know?" I whispered conspiratorially. Once more I got a coo but knowing the answer I grew a Cheshire cat grin before taking a portal directly into my war room. Once the portal was closed I gave an excited "YES!" and danced around the table as I grabbed a tiny toy castle out of a drawer in the far wall.

"What's going on in here? Princess are you alright?" Octavia asked as she walked into the room. Drawn in by my excited cheer.

"Oh I'm better than alright!" I say excitedly as I pawed the toy castle with a little white flag I just put on it to my feathery new friend. "Do you know how frustrating it's been? The Goodly Heroes wait till they're prepared and attack when they feel they have the advantage. But when we get information on their bases from captured enemy's the bases they knew about were already abandoned and anything of value is taken or destroyed!" I say in an aggravated voice as I use my magic to pull Octavia over and lift her up so she could see the map as the pigeon placed the toy castle on the same part of the map he was pecking on the map in that office in the palace.

"Um...I can image?" She said in an unsure tone as I sat in the big boss chair and set her on my lap and started petting her like an evil genius pets their evil cats.

"But the peace treaty with the Great Pigeon Empire has at last bared fruit! They have discovered the location of one of their bases and the best part is they don't know that I know where it is!" I shout excitedly.

"So they won't be gone when you get there!" Octavia said with realization from her place on my lap as she raises her head up to look at the map table once more. "Are we attacking it now or preparing the troops first?"

"None of the above!" I say excitedly getting a look of confusion from her. "They have a complex communication system so that no one knows where all of the other bases are. So I want to use this base and find out how they communicate with the others and follow that connection to the other bases and..." I say before cutting myself off. Leaving the rest for her to fill in.

"By following the bases connections to each other and the further connections those bases have you might be able to find them all." Octavia said with an approving nod before climbing down from my lap and started circling the map table. "But how are you going to find the connection? A pigeon would draw attention and if nothing else they would get taken outside by them. Are you going to use those little perverts that tried to steal my unmentionables?" Octavia asked with a slight look of anger.

"No I'll need to hire new minions for this job. Minions that would get ignored and make great spies. The minions that every dungeon keeper gets off the bat and almost always gets thrown back! All I need to attract them is the proper payment that they can't resist. Poop covered in sugar!" I shout out making her gag.

"Poop covered in sugar!?" Surprisingly that wasn't Octavia's voice and its tone was surprisingly excited for what was being said. "Is it yummy? What's poop? Is it fun?" I blink in confusion as I turn to see Pinkie Pie bouncing next to me.

"That's a strange and disgusting question Pinkie. No I wouldn't suggest eating or playing with poop." I deadpan. "You look more excited than usual. What's up?" I ask as I pull Pinkie off the table with my magic and away from the toy castle she was reaching for.

"Fun!" She replied excitedly as she flapped her forelegs like she was flying.

"Oh? You want to play? Ok but there is something important I need to do first before I stop to have fun." I say as I start to carry her out with my magic.

"Fun fun fun!" She repeated excitedly and an old memory clicked.

"Pinkie...What's my name?" I asked her.

"How should I know? You haven't told me yet!" She replies with a smile.

"Oh no Pinkie are you alright? You haven't hit your head have you?" Octavia asked in a worried tone as she rushed over to check Pinkie's head. After all Pinkie never forgot anyone.

"Pinkie where do you come from?" I asked in an even tone. She thought about it for awhile before coming up with an answer.

"And into her own reflection she stared. Yearning for one whose reflection she shared. And solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being doubly mare!" She sang out. "Hey why are your eyes all glowy?" She asked before I blasted her reducing her to a squeaky toy.

"What!? Why did you do that to Pinkie!?" Octavia screeched in panic.

"That's not Pinkie. That little poem she said was a spell used with something called the mirror pool. I've been looking for it for a long time but never found the thing. This is a magical construct like my imps made in Pinkie's image." I said as I grab my new toy out of the air with my paws and hug it.

"Everything's bigger...Fun!" The toy Pinkie Squeaked excitedly.

"That's right. You're my toy now so the only meaning in your little existence is fun!" I say to the pink toy getting an excited cheer from it. "I'll hire the flies after I grab up as many toy Pinkies as I can before they're all gone!" I call out as I create a portal and grab the minions that would be perfect for this.


Later in Ponyville.


"Ug, this is hopeless." Twilight complained as she walked through town.

"Maybe that one's the real Pinkie." Spike said as he pointed to the only Pinkie laying in a slump.

"Please, the real Pinkie Pie never sat that long in one place her whole life!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I'm going to go ask." Spike replied as he ran over to the depressed pink pony.

"Of course she's gonna say she's the real Pinkie! They all do! You're wasting your time." Twilight called out to the young dragon.

"So lemme guess. You're the real Pinkie Pie." Spike asked.

"Heck if I know. Could be any one of us if you ask me. And if I said I was the real Pinkie, you wouldn't even believe me anyway. So just leave me alone. I've got some important poking the ground with my hoof to do." Pinkie said solemnly as she tried to walk off...until I tackled her to the ground. "Hey what gives?" Pinkie asked as she looked up at me.

"What's my name?" I ask her as I got in her face.

"Rin" She replied in confusion.

"What was your favorite picture I showed you on the first day we met?" I continued.

"The one where baby Celestia and baby Luna are trying to feed you with a giant baby bottle!" She said with a laugh at the image.

"They didn't just try. They succeeded despite my efforts. Though I would have greatly preferred it if they had filled it with milk instead of soy sauce." I respond as I think back to that day.

"What is going on here?" Twilight asked as she walked up to us.

"The fakes don't know anything that the original hadn't taught them. The fact that she answered and is the only one of them I've seen with a soul proves this is the real Pinkie!" I shout out in victory as I hold the pink pony over my head. "And I'm not letting her go till all the fakes are caught!"

"That's great! And I can't believe I didn't think of that." Twilight said as she charged up her horn. "Now I can hunt down all the Pinkie clones and-" She began to say before I bop her horn with a paw and pick her up. "Hey!"

"No! Bad Twilight. Sit back and learn." I say as I grab the two in my tails and sneak through the alleyways and send the command.

"Welcome one and all Pinkies!" A voice called out as fireworks go off in the air and music starts to play. "Come to Trixie's funhouse! Don't know where it is? Just follow the fireworks and the music! Hurry the fun will begin soon!"

"Oh I get it. You're rounding them up before you send them back." Twilight said with a nod of understanding.

"No I'm going to keep them and turn them into toys." I reply happily.

"What? Why?" Twilight asked in confusion.

"Because toys that play back are some of the best ones!" I say.

"I don't know. It seems wrong to leave them existing considering all of the damage they've caused." Twilight complained.

"No, what's wrong is how you found that spell in the first place. Why was it in a hidden compartment that only had a book on the mirror pool in it that you just so happen to find when you're looking for info on the mirror pool!?...By the way, I sent one of my minions to your library to...check out, that mirror pool book for an unknown amount of time. No late fees if you'd please." I tell her with a smug smile.

"Hey! I wasn't done reading that! And it's not wrong it's good luck!" Twilight wined before pausing for a moment before giving me a suspicious look. "Wait...how do you know about how we found that book?" I pause at her question and slowly turn my head to look up at her while giving her a deathly serious look. Time for trollyloly

"The same way Celestia knew that having the Summer Sun Celebration next to the Everfree on that night and sending you there would just so happen result in you making the friends with just the right qualities and being in walking distance of the Elements to free Luna. Did you really think all of that was just a coincidence?" I asked her while giving her a brief 'are you kidding me?' look before bringing her in so our faces touched and I used illusions to rapidly flash random images. Most of them from works of fiction but still looked credible if only seen for a moment. "I'm a princess. We know lots of things... Lots of things." I say that last part in a distorted tone before dropping the illusions and going back to a friendly smile. "Ok?" With that done I happily start bouncing along humming a happy tune with a mind blown Twilight wrapped in one of my tails. I also take the time to pick spike up as he's trying desperately to keep up with me and the poor guy is out of breath. Not that it mattered much because we were soon at Trixie's fun house on the outskirts of town.

"That's your trap? It looks like it's made out of cardboard." Spike said as I set him down.

"Cardboard and a jar!" I said enthusiastically as I set them down and started blasting the dollification spell through the opening in the fake house before reaching in through the cut out door and shrinking the giant jar back down to its normal size. and putting a lid on it. "Mine!" I call out cheerfully as I hug the jar now full of toy Pinkies. "Good work girls." I say to Trixie and Vinyl as they come out.

"What do you expect from the great and powerful Trixie other than perfection in her work?" Trixie asked with a smug smile before looking at the still stunned Twilight. "Twilight if you don't close your mouth you're going to catch flies." Trixie said as she waved a hoof in front of Twilight's face. "Is she going to be alright?" I look at Twilight after Trixie's question and use the tip of one of my tails to tickle the purple unicorn's nose and pulling it away just before Twilight sneezed. After a few sniffles Twilight used her magic to summon forth a large roll of paper.

"Spike take a letter." Twilight instructed causing Spike to groan at all that paper rolled into one large scroll but still he pulled out a quill and got ready to write.

"Dear princess Celestia. Princess Rin has brought to my attention that you know more than you let on in a way that leads me to believe that you are aware of the things that I have been keeping secret from you. Now that I know you are aware of them however I would like to take the time to apologize and clarify a few things on such subjects including but not limited to, foal hood pranks, secret late book returns, secret pornography stashes and sneaking into restricted areas. I will list this things in chronological order."

"My first apology is when I wrote a twenty paragraph essay entitled 'Why the Nobles Are Big, Stinky, Stupid Heads' on the blank lower half of the scroll you wrote that speech on when I was five. Though after I grew older I always wondered why you continued to read it to the crowd even after your speech ended. It should have been clear to you that it was not your work not just from memory or contents but also by the fact that it was written with crayons." I raise my eyebrow at Twilight before looking at Trixie who was giving Twilight's confessions her undivided attention.

"You stay and listen. I'm going to want all the juicy details later." I whisper getting a small nod from Trixie before I turn to Vinyl. "Let's go."


Later at the dungeon.


"It looks like you shrunk your play room and turned it into a town." Swift comments as she looks inside the tank containing the toy Pinkies as well as the dollified monsters from the Terraria world.

"That's because I took all my toys and fused them to build this town. It will keep them occupied when I'm not playing with them." I respond as I watch two toy Pinkies using some wind up cars to race through the streets. "Besides I can make more toys later.

"Have you ever considered using them as recruits?" Swift asked.

"If you think you can train them to fight and take orders go for it. Till then they're just playthings. I could always use more troops for the attack on the Goodly Hero's bases. I don't know how long it will take the flies I've hired along with the Pigeon's to find them all." I say with a shrug just before a note appeared over my head. After reading it I smile and with a flash of inspiration manifestation I'm back in my Riddler costume from Nightmare Night. "Well I just got an invite to a displaced Halloween party! Good luck with the toys I'll be back later." I say with a wave as I create a portal.

"Wait what about the Goodly Heroes? Shouldn't you be planning the attack?" Swift asked.

"Not much I can do till more info comes in. All we can do is prepare our troops, wait and hope they don't have anything big planned before we're ready." I reply before I leave.


Meanwhile in an undisclosed location.


"What is wrong with you boy?" An older pony said as he whacked Hunter upside the head. "Not only did you fail to bag your prey twice but you failed both times in the most idiotic and undignified ways possible. Flushed down a toilet. Really? I know you want to get a trophy for the family collection but you need to control yourself."

"Sorry father. But at least I got us a weapon that could defeat the dark fox and any other darkness user." Hunter replied.

"Well at least you did something right boy. Now we just need to wait for sister Lyra and her flock to recharge the artifact." The older pony said as they watched the ponies around the Crystal Heart work.

"Let our light fill the heart with love and happiness as it was meant to be as foretold by the prophesies of the great Strong Heart!" Lyra called out to the ponies bowing before the Crystal Heart.

"Season three episode one and two. The Crystal Empire part one and two." The ponies chanted in unison. No one knew why the great Strong Heart listed his prophesies as episodes or seasons but no one ever bothered to change it.

"Once the dark one is gone we can get back on track and guide the land in a new age of piece once the betrayer Discord is also destroyed and a new princess rises to bring friendship to the land!" Lyra shouted with joy.

"Season three episode thirteen. Magical Mystery Cure." They chanted again. Soon. So very soon. Hunter thought to himself.


Later that night in the palace.


Celestia walked up to her cake as she licked her lips. Ready to gorge herself on the delectable sweet treat in front of her. But just before she could take a bight she felt Spikes mail magic in the air and looked up but was too surprised by the size of the scroll to catch it causing it to hit her on the head forcing her face into the cake.

"Oh my, that must have been some friendship problem." Celestia's muffled voice came from inside the cake. A short moment passed with Celestia just standing there with her head buried in the cake before the sound of munching came from within the dessert. "Mmmmmmmmmmm."

Bonus Chapter. A Very Fluffy Hearth's Warming.

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I watch as another noble leaves the throne room before yawning and stretching out. Enjoying the sound of my bones popping before I lean back in the throne.

"Now announcing hey wait!" a voice called out. Before I could look up to see what was going on I felt the weight of something land in my lap. When I look down I see a little filly sitting there while looking up at me with a big smile.

"I was good this year." She said excitedly. "I would like a new ball." It takes me a moment for it to click in my head and I smile down at the kid. Oh man. I've been so focused on the displaced and Goodly Heroes Hearth's Warming snuck up on me! But I'm glad to see that our old tradition still lives. I think to myself as I ruffle the kid's mane and send her on her way. I used to tell the girls about Santa Paws and the presents for good little children until one night they caught me...In a net. When they saw it was me they jumped to the conclusion I was Santa Paws rather than me making it up and how they wanted to be my little helpers. I couldn't tell them the truth so the next year I wound up making a massive amount of toys and flying around in a pegasus drawn sleigh delivering gifts of toys with them. It was a tradition that we did every year until I was petrified. Next in line was a colt that came rushing in with excitement. While this was happening I reached out to my girls to talk.

"Why didn't you tell me Hearth's Warming was coming up? I'm going to need to create a massive amount of imps and work them overtime."

"What are you...Oh we haven't done that since you were taken from us. Do we even have time for that this year?"

"We had better! We have already used the dreams of the little ones to make the naughty and nice list!"

"We're making time Celly. It's been too long to miss this now. We may need reinforcements though.

"...I know the ponies for the job. Just get the toy factory up and running."


A next day.


I was hard at work. Even after shutting down the unnecessary magic consuming traps and rooms so I can sustain over a hundred imps working around the clock and slowly leveling up to having that hast ability I don't think they would make it in time and used inspiration manifestation to pump them out.

"What's going on?" Trixie asked from the doorway. I look up excitedly as I told her to guide the girls and the backup here when they arrive. Celly and Lulu rushed over and got to work with bright smiles on their faces. Trixie and the main six however were standing at the entrance watching the assembly line. Following the chunks of wood as some imps quickly carved them into building blocks that were moved to new imps that painted them with magic, quick drying paint. Then moved on to some imps with Vinyl and Octavia who boxed and wrapped them before placing them in a pile that I deemed big enough to shrink down so they could be placed in the crate labeled 'Blocks'.

"What's going on is we're late. We have so many toys to make and I haven't finished reading the naughty and nice list yet!" I shout out before pointing to each of them. "Twilight I need you to use the list to plan out the most efficient route and organize the gifts in order for easy drops! Pinkie you're on baker duty! There's a kitchen and pantry down the hall we need lots of goodies for stocking stuffers! And Rarity, you work with the dolls. Paint them and make them dresses. Over there!" I say pointing to that work area with a paw. "Fluttershy you're with Twilight. I want you to use the list to find new homes for some adorable animals that would make great pets! Applejack when one of the piles of materials gets low I need you to cart more in! Trixie help wrap the gifts!" I cry out in a panic as I shrink a new pile to be stored. When I look back however none of them have moved and were just looking at me in confusion.

"You're Santa Paws...Santa Paws is real." Trixie said with a deadpan. "...You owe Trixie a magic wand! Trixie was good that year and all she got was an itchy sweater!"

"I'm sorry if our traditions being placed on hold do to petrification and banishment to the moon meant that you didn't get what you wanted." I say dryly causing all of them to rush to the tasks in fear that Trixie had stepped into a minefield. All except for Rainbow Dash who flew up to me instead.

"Hey what about me?" She asked.

"Rainbow I need you to stay stretched, limber and rested. I have the enchanted sleigh ready but for this job I need speed that can get me all across Equestria itself. What I'm trying to say is." I say as I grab Rainbow's checks in my paws and look her in the eye. "Rainbow with your mane so bright. Won't you fly my sleigh that night?" And at that moment, in Equestria they say, that Rainbow's ego grew three sizes that day.

"You can count on me!" She proudly boasts before getting on the floor and started doing stretches. Is...is she really going to stretch for three days? With a shrug I get back to work as the magic of this world takes hold and fills the room with music which soon causes everyone to sing along with Rarity as the lead singer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1ddoS8SQwU


Hearth's Warming Eve.


"Alright, are we ready?" I called out from my seat on the sleigh between Celestia and Luna while Rainbow walks us to the portal outdoors. The gravity enchantment Celestia placed on the sleigh preventing any weight to slow Rainbow down.

"Ready!" They all cheered excitedly just before we shot forward through the portal and into the sky. As we moved onto the first town Rainbow got into it and activated the magic of Equestria for a song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYOH0Ld2hdA

As we got to the first houses I grew some present's back to normal size and pawed them over to Celestia and Luna before they jumped off and flew to their own houses as me and Rainbow land. Shrinking myself down with the right sack I jump down the chimney. Skillfully snuffing out the flames with my magic and catching myself in telekinesis before I hit and land myself safely. Good thing the girls are too big to fit down chimneys. I would have forgotten to remand them about the fires.

"Ouch! Hot hot hot!" Luna's voice rang out from the next house over. With a shake of my head I rush over to the tree and place the gifts before growing them then growing the goodies Pinkie made for the stockings. My red Santa hat was blown off my head by a blast of hot air before a loud and menacing growling that made the ground beneath me rumbly came from behind me. Turning I see the bared teeth of a dog glaring down at me. I gave him a smile and grew a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a bone and presented it causing the dog to look down at me in confusion before taking it.

"Happy Hearth's Warming!" I call up to him cheerfully as I use telekinesis on myself to lift myself back up to the roof where I see Luna waiting and Celestia flying over for the next load of gifts.

"Sorry it took me so long. Who knew a chiwawa could clamp on so tightly." Celestia said as she rubbed her hoof.

"Right, next is Diamond Tiara. Get the tiny bag of coal!"


The next day.


(Canterlot.)

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" A mare's scream filled the air drawing the attention of some nearby guards. With great haste the Solar guards rushed over to the house where the sound came from only for ponies to rush out of there homes all around them and quickly surround them.

"Guards! Somepony has broken into our home!" One pony yelled.

"Mine too!" Another shouted.

"And ours! And they ate the cookies our kids left out for Santa Paws!" Another shouted in outrage.

"Somepony broke into all of your homes and robbed you all? On Hearth's Warming?" One of the guards asked in shock and disgust.

"No they left presents!" a noble shouted out.

"There is no need to get sarcastic sir." One of the guards replied.

"No they left gifts in our house too! Sweet treats and toys!" Another pony shouted.

"It's what I've always wanted!" A mare shouted out as she held up a well crafted jewelry box. The guards looked at the ponies in confusion as they tried to process this. After a while of thinking one of the guards managed to word the question on all their minds.

"What?"

(Ponyville)

"The streets were filled with the laughter of happy children as they played with there new toys along with their families. Nopony knew where the gifts came from save for seven who were watching with delight. Filled with the warmth that comes with giving gifts.

"Come on Applejack! Come play with us!" Apple Bloom shouted as she and Big Mac kicked the new ball around. With a smile Applejack waved her friends goodbye and ran off to play. Soon Rarity was off as well to play with Sweetie. One after another they split off until only Trixie remained. Once alone Trixie heard the familiar sound of a portal opening in the ground behind her. When she turned to look she found a present on the ground next to the portal with her cutie mark on it. Opening the gift her eyes sparkled before reaching in and pulling out the toy magic wand and happily hopping into the portal to spend the day with her friends.

Not far in the biggest house in Ponyville sat a small Pink earth pony with a tiara on her head as she looked up at the giant pile of coal burying her tree.

"...I don't get it."

Going Baty.

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"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The screams echoed off the buildings of the city as its inhabitants looked up in horror at the massive being looking down at them. It had black, dragon like wings. Its light blue snake like eyes looked down hungrily at them. Its mouth opened wide showing off its giant sharp fangs. Showing them a black abyss that could easily fit a good chunk of the population in it only to be swallowed down the giant's gullet to make room for the rest of the city's population.

"What are you doing there?" I ask as a pick up the baby that had been sucking on the tank holding the shrunken changeling. Must have been terrifying for them being the size of bugs. "Looks like the eggs hatched while I was partying." I say as I look down at the kid in my paws. Aside from the wings and eyes she looked just like any baby changeling. I was fascinated at the differences considering all changelings in this world are female and get their seeds from those they fool and they've always stayed changelings before. Stronger genes just meant stronger changelings. Asphyxias must have strong DNA to result in these changes. At least the dragon in him must. With a smile I put the baby on my back and walked over to the area I set up for the young changelings. What I saw when I got there made me groan. Obviously this is their first clutch as they are all running around in a panic trying to get the children under control. Suddenly my vision is blocked by a naked black butt being shoved in my face making me scramble back to get away.

"Fire comes out of both ends!" The changeling holding the baby cried out in panic. Looking again I see the baby was wearing a diaper it just had a burnt hole in the bottom. To further the point the baby let out a tiny toot shooting out a burst of flame like a flame thrower. I suddenly became very concerned about the fact that one of these kids was sitting on me. I quickly but carefully lifted the child off my back and set her down on the ground so not to set me on fire. I had already learned from past experience that despite the fact that Kitsune were known for their affinity with fire I was not fireproof with the exception of my own foxfire. And I have no desire to regrow my fur again.

"That has the potential to be very messy." I say as I use inspiration manifestation to create a new diaper and quickly woven the same enchantments that were created for Celestia's and Luna's old diapers. Those things could handle anything those kids could dish out. With quick and efficient movements the kid was in the new diaper. When I lifted the kid up the diaper gave a flash and all that happened was the diaper inflating slightly before shrinking back down as the air was leaked out. "There, fireproof. Here you take care of her while I make more." I say as I paw the kid over to the now calmed changeling.


Five minutes later.


"Wow I'm out of practice." I say as I look down at the babies. "I can't believe it took me five minutes to make a few hundred magic diapers, gather all the children using cartoonish illusions as bait, change them, calm them down and lay them down for naptime."

"H-how?!" One of my changelings whisper/shouted as she gestured to the sleeping babies. The others were just staring at the kids with their mouths hanging open.

"Compared to two all powerful god-babies two hundred dragon, changeling hybrid babies are a cake walk." I say with a dismissive wave of my paw. Actually it was easy because they had already tired themselves out running around all over the place. But if I tell them that I would look less amazing. "You know that's not a bad idea actually." I say as I look down at one of the sleeping babies. "I did party pretty hard." I walk out of the room. Using my tails to close each mouth as I pass them.

"Oh by the way. How long was I gone and did I miss anything besides the babies hatching?" I asked before leaving the room but they all just kept staring at the sleeping children in disbelief. With a sigh I pick one up with a tail and brought her around to face me nose touching nose. "How long was I gone and what did I miss?" I repeated. She blinked her confusion and started talking as I walked out of the room carrying her as I moved.

"W-well you've been gone for a few days now. Almost a week. Not much has happened in the time you've been gone. Octavia is out practicing with her ensemble with two black knights for protection. The one griffin black knight and one of the minotaurs. The one that we thought was a guy until she punched one of the dragons lights out for calling her a guy. Miss Vinyl brought miss Pinkie Pie to the library to help make schematics for new traps. Claw is out hunting again. Mr. Freeze got his metal body dinged up again answering the call of that displaced Twilight. The nightmare got stir-crazy and started pranking everyone. Swift has been making some progress teaching the toy Pinkies how to fight by turning their training into a game. Table Top has finished gathering all the dead things in the Everfree that the imps marked as too big for them. We were also out of those gourds that were turned into containers for the potions lab because Berry Punch filled them all up with different alcoholic drinks but when that happened she stopped making drinks and single hoofedly emptied them all again so that passed. But miss Punch did put in a request for more gourds so she could produce more concoctions. That shadow wolf thing you got from another world has been...reproducing. I think. In a strange way to. She eats a lot of chickens and then a smaller shadow wolf gets regurgitated up. It's quite disgusting. It also appears she has a limit because she was unable to make more after she created ten. She seemed upset about that fact." The changeling's muzzle scrunches up in thought. "I think that's everything that's happened... Oh and princess Celestia and princess Luna have been informed of your leaving when they came looking for you." She said getting a nod from me.

"Thank you." I say with an appreciative nod as I stopped to pat the changeling's head. "I was going to take a nap but if I've been gone a few days I should at least give my pets some attention first." I say aloud to myself as I change direction. I should check the war room map to see how the Goodly Hero search is coming but that can wait until after sleepy time.

"Um, princess? Can you put me down now?" She asked from the clutches of my tails.

"I can." I reply in a matter of fact tone as I kept walking but not putting her down. She just hung there looking at me with a look that said she wanted to tell me to put her down but she wasn't sure it was the best idea. "Would you like to be put down?" I ask her getting a nod from the changeling. I conjure up a plushie of me and a blanket and before she could react quickly shove the toy into her forelegs and tightly bound the changeling in the blanket before using my hand to pick her up and set her down on the squishy floor of the babies playroom where the babies were taking their nap. Looking around in confusion for a moment before she just shrugged and went with it. Laying her head down for a much needed nap time.

As I was coming over to the playroom where I kept my first pet I started to hear music that came from no particular location which meant that it was the magic of the world giving someone a montage I hadn't heard in over a thousand years. With a smile I slowly open the door to my play room and tip paw my way over to Mr. Nibble's cage. The music clear now. As it played I looked in and saw Mr. Nibbles running on his hamster wheel while carrying stacks of kibble from his food dish on his shoulders to act as weights. I could see that he had gained some muscle that he actually earned instead of gained by stealing magic.

Mr. Nibbles look of determination quickly turns into one of surprise as he quickly turns to look at me. My conjuring a sports coach getup and a towel, the later I was using to fan him, had grabbed his attention. He scowled at me and started pushing himself harder. I smile down at him and grabbed his water bottle from the side of the cage and held it close to him. He scowled harder at this but leaned over and licked at the tip to drink. I sat and waited until the music stopped before reaching into the cage and picking him up in my paws.

"Alright let's not wear ourselves out too much. It's time to play now that I'm back from my trip. I'm sorry I haven't been giving you any attention the past few days but I was gone longer than I thought." I say as I hold him in one leg and use my free paw to pet him.

"No it was quite alright. In fact feel free to go on long trips and leave me be as much as you like. I hear the frozen wastelands to the far north are nice this time of year." Mr. Nibbles said snidely as he tried to push my paw away but he was helpless in my clutches and sighed in defeat at when I started scratching the back of his neck.

"You're going to love play time in your little hamster ball." I say ignoring his words. "After being separated from your owner for so long a play date with us is just what the doctor ordered." He tensed at those words and looked up at me in horror.

"You don't mean...No! Not another play date with Sasha! That dog is far too big! Even in the safety of that ball the last time she rolled over and I got stuck in the gap between two of her necks! Do you have any idea how nauseating it was being tossed around while that mutt ran around?! Or even worse the time before that when I got stuck between the gums and inner lip of one of her heads for several hours!" He complained.

"That's right and we'll even play outside to make up for the lost time." I say ,completely ignoring his shouting as I slip him into his hamster ball and sealed him in.

"Outside?" He said with a look on his face that was hopeful and scheming.

"That's right. You get to have some fun in the sun!" I say as I set him on the floor and made a show of picking up a weight in one tail causing his shoulders to slump. I didn't make this enchanted item. I got it in a pet store. The hamster ball can't get too far from it and he can't get out of the ball unless I let him out. This way small furry friends can be brought on picnics and allowed to run around without getting lost or eaten. I turned and walked out of the room forcing Mr. Nibbles to run after me unless he wants to go for a spin when the distance between the ball and anchor reaches its limits.

After a short walk I come to Sasha's area. I look around the stadium sized room before spotting her in her doggy bed. I'm surprised I haven't gotten my normal greeting of being pinned down and bombarded with slobbery puppy kisses so I walk over to her to see what's wrong. Whatever it is it must be the right head as the other two are looking down at her in worry while the right head just lay on the bed with her eyes closed. I don't think it's possible for one head to get sick without the others getting sick as well so she must have done something bad and is paying for it now. Sasha's middle head controls the body while the left head is like the angle on the shoulder. Sweet and loving. Her right head however is a little devil and always thinking of mischief so it's not hard to imagine her sticking her nose into something she shouldn't. When I get right up to her however I can see that she has a smile on her face and her mouth is moving like she's savoring a piece of candy.

"Ok, what do you have in your mouth?" I ask in a deadpan getting the attention of all three heads. The right head gave a weak growl that thanks to my dungeon heart I understood as her saying 'nothing' though her ears fell back against her head like she knew she was in trouble.

"Is somepony out there? Please save Trixie! It's horrible in here!" Trixie's muffled voice shouted out from inside Sasha's right head. I glared daggers at the right head causing her to give me the puppy eyes in hopes that it would spare her punishment. She spoke by giving a whimpering sound.

"No it doesn't matter how tasty she is or that you wouldn't actually eat her! You do not put anything in your mouth unless I say you can. And the only things I say you can put in your mouth whenever you want are the toys I made for you or the chickens that are put in your food dish to eat!" I chastised as I use inspiration manifestation to summon up a giant rolled up newspaper and give her a good bop on the nose. "Now spit her out! I have half a mind not to take you out today!"

Sasha whimpered again but the right head opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue out causing a large buildup of saliva to pour down it like water from a water slide carrying a disheveled Trixie with it. With a grunt Trixie landed in the pool of drool and franticly tried to use her forehooves to stop the rest from pouring out onto her face. When Sasha's right head pulled her tongue back in and closed her mouth Trixie shakily got to her hooves and she looked pissed. She used one hoof to move her wet mane out of her eyes before turning to face the pup. She marched forward causing the strands of saliva to stretch out between her and the floor. Then to our surprise she reached up with her forehooves and pulled the right head's lips apart as if she was trying to get back inside the mouth.

"Give Trixie her hat back!" Trixie demanded as she tried to force the razor sharp teeth apart. Sasha's right head started growling menacingly but Trixie refused to give up.

"Sasha." I say in a warning tone. "Give Trixie her hat back." Slowly the jaws opened and without batting an eye Trixie stuck her head inside the mouth and looked around for a moment before pulling back out with her magician's hat in her magical grasp. She moved to put it back on but stopped and took the time to look inside before turning it over and dumping the drool out which carried with it a now soaked deck of cards, some cloth, a half eaten carrot and one very unhappy looking bunny rabbit who hopped over to Trixie, jumped up on her muzzle and bitch slapped her before hopping off. Trixie just stood there in wide eyed shock before her face turned to a look of annoyance. Trixie then took in a shaky breath before exhaling and put her hat back on. She marched over to me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Trixie wants a raise." Trixie said flatly.

"Oh?" I say as I give her a raised eyebrow. "So you want to take full charge of doggy sitting duties?" I asked getting a shocked look from her. "The job rotates right now so if I give you a raise I'll need to give everyone a raise unless you're taking the job on by yourself." Trixie's mouth opened and closed for a bit before she looked down in thought.

"How much of a raise?" Trixie asked.

"Ten extra bits each payday." I answer getting a snort from Trixie.

"Thirty-five bits!" Trixie countered.

"Ten bits!"

"Thirty bits!"

"Ten bits!"

"Twenty-five bits!"

"Ten bits!"

"Trixie doesn't believe you understand how haggling works." Trixie said in annoyance.

"Oh I understand. I'm actually very good at it. It's just one of those things that comes easily with being a trickster." I reply with a smug smile. Trixie gave me a level stare before trying again.

"Ten bits and Trixie want's more magic lessons and some trickster lessons!" She demands and I make a thinking face.

"How far are you with the elemental puppets? And how much has the magic building exercises I gave you built up your reserves?" I ask.

"The last time Trixie checked her reserves were at two hundred and eighty two and as for the puppets." Trixie said before her horn lit up and the dirt rose up into the shape and size of three fully grown ponies that broke into dance. Looking over I saw that Trixie was struggling greatly but it was more than enough to move on to the next stage.

"Deal!" I grab her hoof in my paws and shake it. "But for right now I'm taking my pets out. You're welcome to join us."

"Thanks but no thanks. The great and powerful Trixie needs a great and powerful bath!" Trixie declared in a tone that sounded like she was talking about a powerful monster she had defeated before disappearing in a poof of smoke. Looks like she has that invisibility spell down. Though those hoof prints that keep appearing in the dirt moving towards the exit is a giveaway.

Getting back on track I use my magic to take the giant leash from its hook on the wall way up out of Sasha's reach and attached each of the split sections to each collar and created a portal. I then use my hand to grab Unyielding because my guards get pissy when I go out without at least one of them to protect me.


Canterlot garden.


I came out of the portal to panicked screaming and ponies running around. I looked around in confusion and Sasha looked around in excitement. All three heads barking happily which I hear as them talking about all the new things to smell and mark. I had to use my magic to hold on to the leash so not to be dragged around as she fought to run off and play with the ponies. I could hear high pitched maniacal laughter as Mr. Nibbles reviled in the ponies panic until one pony ran by and accidentally kicked his ball into the crowed before he was kicked again and again and again until I felt the anchor I was holding in my tails tug a bit. The hamster ball stopped mid flight causing him to crash into the side of the ball before face planting on the ground. He then stood up and I could now hear his high pitched screams though just barely over the crowed. As he frantically ran around in circles in an attempt to avoid the hooves around him.

At first I thought they were scared of Sasha but they aren't trying to avoid her and they're all looking up. I look up to see what all the fuss is about and I see a dire bat flying around up there with several pegasus guards trying to catch it. It's hard to tell due to distance but based on the size difference to the guard that just tried to land on its back it's a big one. Around fifteen feet maybe?

"What's a dire bat doing out here in the daytime anyways?" I ask no one in particular.

"I don't know my princess but please stay close." Unyielding said as she drew her sword and stood in front of me. I just continued to look up at the giant bat before coming to a decision.

"I want it." I say matter of factly.

"My lady?" Unyielding asked as she turned to look at me.

"It will make a great mount. It just needs some training and some sunglasses... well, sun goggles." I say before sending a command to one of my minions through the link and I could feel the excitement radiating back. I wait a few moments for him to get ready before making him a portal. Crocodile flew out with a pack full of supplies. He has been very happy working for me as my animal trainer and the thought of adding a new monster to train has got him hopping on air. I didn't even need to give an order he locked onto the bat right away and shot after it while giving out some less than masculine giggles.


"One side ponies let a real professional handle this!" Crocodile called out as he flew in. Several guards moved to block his path before he continued. "By order of princess Rin!" At those words they looked down and at seeing a princess on the ground they let him pass. Moving in Crocodile pulled out his tranq gun He quickly loaded a dart into the hole of the bamboo barrel and quickly started pumping to build up the air pressure. Taking aim he fired and managed to shoot it in its ear. The bat gave out an angry screech and turned to the griffin and with a mighty flap of its wings it shot right at Crocodile who was cursing at his bad aim and taking off as he searched his pack for something else.

"Here's hoping that drunk knows what she's doing." Crocodile grumbled as he pulled out the bang grenade. Pulling the pin which caused sparks to fly out from a now lit fuse before tossing it behind him before it went off with a very loud BANG. The bat screeched as the loud noise confused its radar giving Crocodile time to reload and start pumping. The dire bat screeched in rage as it regained its focus and started flying after Crocodile again. Crocodile pumped faster. As the bat moved in to catch the griffin Crocodile folded his wings in and turned around and aimed his gun at the bat while in free fall. When the bat got closer it moved to catch the griffin out of the air and with the rushing sound of the air being released the dart flew and got a clean hit in the bat's jugular. Turning around Crocodile squawked when he saw how close to the ground he was. He shot his wings open to stop himself from crashing but that slowed him enough for the bat to catch him with its feet.

With its prey captured the bat tried to stop itself from crashing like the griffin did but at that. moment the tranquilizer kicked in and it grew weak as sleep started to claim him. It's eyes drooped as it came closer to the ground. Before it could crash however it and the griffin were ensnared in a green aura and was slowed to a stop before gently being placed on the ground. The bat struggled weakly as it got harder to stay awake.

"Shhhhhh, it's ok. No one is going to hurt you. You're going to be well taken care of." A fox said as she started petting him. "I'm going to call you...Echo." That was the last thing Echo heard before darkness overtook him.


I look down at my new mount as guards made a perimeter around us. Crocodile grunted as he crawled out from under the bat and looked down at the dire bat with excitement.

"He's a feisty one! You and me are going to be good friends." He said to the bat as he put his gun away. My attention however was drawn by a pegasus guard as he flew down to meet me.

"Your majesty! Princess Celestia wants to see you immediately!" The guard said in a tone that implied it was urgent. I frown but create a portal and carefully placed my new mount inside and using my hand to snatch up Swift and bring her to the portal and drop her in so I can have both my guards.

"Take care of the bat and get Mr. Nibbles back to his cage. Poor guy wore himself out running around." I told Crocodile once the portal was clear and giving him the anchor for Mr. Nibbles ball. I'll keep Sasha with me for now.” I say getting a nod from the griffin before he jumped into the portal dragging a very upset miniature supervillain with him. After it was clear I close the portal and create a new one to take me to the throne room. "Alright let's see what the emergency is."

An Unpleasant Surprise.

View Online

As I come up through the portal I stop in shock at the sight around me. My stopping resulted in being lifted up by Sasha's heads as she came through herself followed by my guards. The throne room was trashed. Looking over to a pony I called out to him. "Hey you! What happened to this room?" I call out as I hop down and walk over to him. He blinked in confusion for a moment before saluting.

"Your majesty! There are large holes in the walls that makes it look like we are in a giant piece of Swiss cheese. The fountains that were once set on either side of the stairs leading up to the throne are shattered and shut down so not to flood the place" which I was thankful for. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put continually running water in front of their rulers when they had to sit there for hours on end every day must have gotten screwed on their taxis because that was torture. "The throne itself...gone. There is no sign of it anywhere." He finished before saluting again.

"...You just described the room to me. What I want to know is how it got this way and were Celestia and Luna are." I say in annoyance. "Mister?..."

"Caption!" The stallion said with another salute. "Captain Obvious!"

"...Yes you are. Ok scratch the room where are Celestia and Luna?" I ask in agitation. I know they're immortal and all but I'm getting very worried about my girls.

"The west wing has been converted into a medical wing for all the injured. They're recovering there." I think he said something else but by that point I created another portal and jumped through leaving my guards and puppy behind.

"Where are they!" I call out franticly. Looking around my eyes lock onto a nurse pony who was running around half as panicked as I was. She gave out a startles squeak when I grabbed her in my tails and brought her to my face. "Where are my little ones! Were is my sunny bunny and moon pie!" She was too panicked to respond at first but when her mind registered who I was and who I was looking for she pointed a hoof at a line of ponies carrying a massive amount of food to one room. "Hold on my little ones! Auntie's coming!" I cry out as I drop the nurse and scramble over to the door. My paws moving so fast I might have been hovering.

I came charging through the door and immediately locked onto the only two beds in the room. Celestia was laying in the left bed talking to a few ponies. Some looked like they were in the military while others looked like accountants. Luna was in the right bed out cold with a tube going down her throat connected to a funnel which several ponies were pouring what looks like a concoction of various fruits and vegetables thrown through the blender. Both of the girls had their horns broken off.

"What happened!?" I can't help but shout in the royal Canterlot voice knocking over the ponies closest to me and making the others cringe. I run over to my girls franticly. The ponies in my path wisely moving out of my way allowing me to get between the two beds unhindered.

"Please aunty." Celestia said through wheezes. Her breath labored. "Ponies are trying to recover." my head and back ignite with foxfire at hearing her speak that way. I quickly put out the blue flames and move up to her. Carefully placing my paws on her and feeling for what's wrong. It didn't take me long to find that her internal organs aren't all where they need to be. The reason she was having trouble breathing was because some of her intestines were wrapped around her lungs. I gave her a worried look and she grabs one of her pillows in her hoof.

"Do it." She wheezed before putting her pillow in her mouth and biting down. With a nod I use my magic to gently grasp her intestines and carefully loosen their hold on her lungs and the other organs that were tied up in them before setting them back in their proper places. When I looked up she had tears running down her cheeks and she was breathing heavily but at least she was breathing normally. It would be pointless to hit her with a heal spell as she can already regenerate so I quickly move over to Luna and get to work on her.

"Thank you. That feels so much better." Celestia said as I worked.

"How did this even happen?" I ask as I work on Luna.

"It was the Juggernaut. He came back looking for you." Celestia answered. A new foxfire ignited on my shoulder but this time it was accompanied with a thin cloud of darkness. I finished working on Luna and turned to Celestia.

"Tell me everything." I said in a low tone as I sat by her bed.


Five hours ago.


Celestia's head shot up in surprise as a loud crash was heard outside as she was walking through the halls of the palace. Quickly she moved to the nearest window that would open and looked outside just in time to see a familiar giant crash through the walls of the palace with several guards on his trail.

"No" Celestia whispered to herself as she jumped through the window flew down to the hole only to see to her horror that Juggernaut's stomping around had drawn the attention of most in not all of the guards in the palace. Mostly because Juggernaut broke into the mess hall while it was being used. And somepony had raised the alarm so the guards that weren't here were rushing to this location. Broken guards littered the floor. And she could see the Juggernaut walking on the other side of the room towards another wall. He stopped though and looked around in annoyance at the guards that continued to pour in.

"Stop! Get away from him!" But Celestia's warning came too late and as she rushed in to save her guards the Juggernaut raised his hands out like he wanted a hug before bringing them together with a mighty clap that gave off a shockwave that sent everypony flying. Ponies crashed into the wall, against each other and counters and tables. Celestia herself was pushed back through the hole she came through only at an upward angle so her head hit the part of the wall still left over the hole causing her to spin as she flew. The world was a blur of colors for Celestia as she spun through the air until she crashed into something hard and her and whatever she hit came crashing into the ground.

Oh my. And here I thought full moons were Luna's thing. A voice rang out in her head. Shaking the dizziness from her eyes Celestia looked back to see that she had landed on Discord and his face was pressed right against her left butt cheek. By all means, don't mind me. Sit and relax awhile. I insist. Discord said in a sultry tone.


The capital building of the Great Pigeon Empire.


A bright golden flash startled the hundreds of pigeons flying about to take care of their day to day tasks. When they could see clearly again the hundreds of birds in that room and many more that were drawn in by curiosity about the strange flash of light stared at the statue suddenly occupying the center of the room. Worth it!


Back at the palace.


Celestia teleported back to the mess hall and flew fast through the palace striping herself of her weights on the way. It didn't take long to find the giant as he stomped through wall after wall. Thankfully it seems that her guards heard her warnings and have backed off of the Juggernaut and instead focused on evacuating the area. Now she can try to think of a strategy on how to stop him. It helped that she now knew his weakness thanks to Rin. Unfortunately he had somehow gotten his helmet back. That or he got a new one. She experimentally tried using basic telekinesis to unlatch it but whatever that thing was made of beats dragon scales in magic resistance by far. Every time she tried to tighten her magical grasp on the think it slipped off like trying to pick up a large ball of wet, soapy ice with chopsticks. Celestia looked at the helmet in annoyance once she realized that she would have to remove it manually. She'll have to be careful about this. He hadn't seen her yet so she had that going for her but if she wasn't careful with this she may lose her chance. Using her magic to lift several pieces of wood from the walls that were being destroyed. One for each latch keeping the helmet secured in its place and carefully position them in place over the juggernaut's head. She would have to take careful aim and be quick about it but if she pulls this off she will have removed his one defense against her mental assault.

"Have at thee!" Luna bellowed in her royal Canterlot voice as she charges in wearing her battle armor and wielding her trusted war hammer that she had named after those mares that serve the customers in airships. This unfortunately not only broke Celestia's Concentration but grabbed the attention of the Juggernaut who quickly turned to face his attacker. Luna, not wanting to disappoint came in swinging with her hammer. Now Luna's hammer was a rather unorthodox weapon as it can't directly hurt you if it hits you. Instead it causes what Rin calls a knockback effect in where the target is sent flying. Getting hit with the hammer doesn't hurt. The landing does. That hammer had never failed to serve her or entertain her in battle so imagine her surprise when the hammer hit the Juggernaut in the chest and nothing happened.

"My turn!" The Juggernaut said with a tone of excitement as he raised his fist. Unfortunately both of the sisters were to surprised to react. Luna by her failed attempt to send the giant back outside through the holes he made and Celestia by her sisters rash action.


Prince Blueblood looked down at the enchanted gem in his magical clutches. "And if anyone were to enter my room without my permission the runes hidden in the walls will not only detain the intruder in a stasis field but send a signal to the enchanted gem to alert me?" Blueblood asked getting a nod from the old unicorn he had hired to set up his new security.

"That's right. There isn't one inch of this room that isn't protected by this powerful defense." The old magic teacher from Celestia's school confirmed with a nod.

"Finally! After all these months I can finally leave my room assured of its safety." Blueblood said with a sigh of relief. "Alright stallions. You're dismissed!"

"Oh thank Celestia!" One of them shouted as they all charged/wobbled towards the door as they all tried to get to the nearest bathroom as quickly as they could. They had all been holding it in for a very long time. Blueblood rolled his eyes at this before turning to the unicorn.

"Thank you for your work. You can go now." Blueblood said as he hoofed over a bag of bits. The old unicorn gave a bow before leaving with his bits. Once alone Blueblood pocketed the gem and moved to his mirror to check himself before going out into public. But just as he reached the mirror his attention was drawn to a loud sound as his aunty Luna came crashing through his wall before stopping mid air in the middle of the room as the runes took effect. He nearly lost his lunch as he saw that her muzzle was crushed flat against her face and was making sickening snapping and squishing noises as it slowly reset itself thanks to Luna's regeneration ability that all alicorn enjoyed. His attention was then drawn to the hole in his wall that was just made bigger by a strange creature he never saw before smashing through it.

The giant was quickly surrounded in the same yellow aura that his aunt was but he didn't even slow down as he walked over and grabbed Luna out of the air. Luna groaned in pain as she looked up at her captor and lit up her horn to cast a teleportation but unfortunately for her the Juggernaut quickly brought up his other hand and grabbed Luna's horn before a sickening snap could be heard followed by Luna's pain filled screams.

"Release her!" Celestia yelled as several pieces of wood flew in and jammed under the latches on the giant's helmet forcing some of them open before Celestia flew in. Only stopping for a moment in the stasis field before overpowering it with her own magic causing the runes under the wallpaper to fry creating holes and burn marks all over the walls. Then one of Blueblood's busts of himself flew up in Celestia's magical aura before flying at the helmet in an attempt to knock it off. But she didn't get all of the latches so it remained locked in place. With a grunt of annoyance the Juggernaut lifted one hand and relocked the latches on the front of his helmet as he walked towards Celestia.

"So where's the fluff ball? I got things to do and want to kill her quickly." Juggernaut said as he stopped a few feet in front of the princess of the sun.

"Don't tell him anything Tia!" Luna shouted causing Juggernaut to crush her body in his hand. Luna screamed in pain as her bones made a distinct crunching sound and several popping sounds once he loosened his grip and the bones started popping back into place and mending.

"I said release her!" Celestia shouted in the Canterlot voice as she created a bright light from her horn that forced the Juggernaut to lift up his free hand to block the light while Celestia used all of the force she used to move the Sun to try and force the Juggernaut's hand open to save her sister. The Juggernaut grunted in annoyance as he used his helmet to block the light from his eyes and used his free hand grab the needlessly large bed and threw it at Celestia sending her flying through a new hole in the wall that she had just created. With a snort the Juggernaut walked through the new hole to find Celestia again.

Blueblood looked at the devastation in shock. Unable to process what just happened. He was soon brought out of his shock by the annoying sound 'beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep' that came from the gem in his pocket. Scowling down at the gem he removed it from his pocket and tossed it out the window before taking a decorative sword that he took as a trophy that he won from a great general in a devastating battle of poker that he got through cheating fare and square from its mantle that was now on the floor. With a look of determination he marched after the Juggernaut ready to avenge the death of his room.

"On second thought he is rather large. I'm sure aunty Celestia can handle it." Blueblood said as he walked back into the room and started searching through his list of contacts to fine the construction ponies he always used for his projects. He had been meaning to enlarge his room and add a hot tub and this seemed like an opportune time to do it.


Celestia and Juggernaut fought through the palace. Juggernaut trying to catch Celestia and Celestia trying to free Luna who was also attacking the Juggernaut from his fist by hitting it with her hooves but this went ignored. This went on for the better part of an hour as room after room and hall after hall was destroyed by the two powerhouses. And it could have gone on much longer but unfortunately as they came crashing into the throne room Juggernaut smashed through one of the support beams while trying to hit Celestia while using Luna's face as a bludgeoning weapon. Though he missed yet again this resulted in a large piece of the ceiling to fall and hit Celestia in the horn just as she was finishing charging up another spell. This surprised Celestia and caused her to discharge the energy for the spell without direction. Including her own face. This stunned Celestia for only a moment but in a battle a moment is all it takes and before she knew it she felt the fingers of the Juggernaut grip around her and after that the pain of having her horn snapped off just like her sister's.

"Well that was fun but I still need to get me a fox skin rug. Where is Rin?" Juggernaut asked in a dangerous tone. Celestia responded with nothing more than a glare.

"Alright. Have it your way. I'm sure I can find a way to get her attention." Juggernaut said with a cocky tone.


Present time.


"He broke our bodies again and again. Twisted us in ways no mortal can survive. He even skinned us for our pelts only to let new ones grow back again and again. Once he realized you weren't here he marched over to the vault where we keep the Elements and with his bare hands tore the door open and took them. Then he left through the cave systems saying he was going to give the Elements to the Goodly Heroes. We were powerless to stop him. Several guards tried to save us but it was useless and those that tried to chase him were thankfully diverted by some large bats that Juggernaut scared out of there cave while he was leaving." Celestia said before raising her head to look me in the eye. When she looked at me she gave a frightened gasp. The others in the room looked to me to see why she reacted that way and if I weren't so pissed right now I would be on the floor laughing at there reaction. I turn to look in the mirror on the wall and see.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I cry out as I stumble backwards. That look on my face was enough to scare me out of my silent rage. I get back up and look down at Celestia. "Don't worry. I'll take care of you two." I say as I fluff her pillow and use my magic to take a large amount of the food that had been delivered to this room up to Celestia. "Now eat and regain your strength. My poor baby. Is there anything else you need?"

"You're my aunt not my mother." Celestia complained.

"Until you two get better I'm both." I countered. Celestia just sighed before speaking again.

"There are some things you could do for us. Even with our regeneration it will be a few days before our horns completely grow back. So we need you to move the sun and the moon for us until then. Normal path and schedule if you'd please. No more trying to write in the sky by moving the sun fast enough. Also with Cadence gone I need you to run things while we recover." She asked me though she looked over at the important looking ponies she was talking to when I got here to let them know she was telling them as well.

"You have my word. I can't leave until I know you and Luna are well anyways." I reply.

"I've already sent letters out to ponies that can help in this situation. Don't do anything reckless. If we're attacked again don't show yourself. We can and have put up defenses against the crystal heart when it was stolen but the Elements are another story. If the Goodly Heroes can use them which given Harmony's obvious animosity towards you I fear might be likely. At least while you are within range." She continued.

"I won't do anything stupid." I say. Choosing my words carefully so that I didn't agree to her exact terms but letting her know I'm not going to do anything reckless.

"This next part is a secret. Everypony else clear out." She said causing the room to empty except for me and the girls. Once she was sure it was clear she beckoned me to lean in. "Luna and I need to be transferred to the room near our bed chambers with the red door to recover. It holds powerful enchantments to block sounds, can easily resist hurricane force winds and blocks all scrying magic. No matter what make sure Dr. Ouchy is the one to look after us and no other. There is a secret that she and a select few ponies are in on that must remain as such. And using that room to recover will keep it a secret. No matter what happens the outside world must never know that a princess can release flatulence." Celestia said. At first I thought she was joking to try and make me feel better but when I look into her eyes I see that she is deadly serious.

"Ok. I promise." I say which causes her to give a sigh of relief.

"Good. Please hurry with that I've been holding it in since I woke up."


A few hours later


I had finished making preparations and dishing out orders for now. I had my minions set up defenses in the palace and castle guards help with the wounded and some were sent out to calm the ponies out there. I healed several guards that weren't that bad so thankfully we aren't short staffed. The others are getting good healing by a large team of doctors and a lot of enchanted healing crystals. I've asked the pigeons to help keep a lookout through the one connected to my heart who I just found out had the name Commander Shit Storm. And now I'm weighting for new reports so I walk over to the lawn chair that is being used as a temporary throne.

I grumbled as I sat back in the temporary throne. I have never once in my life been so pissed at anyone about anything! But I will keep my promise to Celestia. Besides There is no way I was going to leave them like that. My instinct to care for them and stay by their sides as they recover trunked the instinct to track that bastard down and kill him...Not that I know how to kill him...or where to find him... But he did bring something up the last time he was here. Using my Keeper powers I reached out to my dungeon and summoned a comic book into my paws.

“Victor I need to talk to you about something important. Can you talk now?” I ask through the token.

Electric current quickly built up in the comic book, remembering how he entered last time caused me to throw the comic book far enough away before the light of electric discharge peaked making the Comic Book vanish only for Doom to Appear. With his Spiderpony bodyguard and an anthro unicorn shorter than Doom's 6'7" at about 5’9”, said spider who spun in place seeming to be on high alert in the throne room. I use my magic to pick my crown up off the floor and put it back on my head as it was blown off when the comic started acting up.

“Welcome to the royal palace. Sorry it’s such a mess but a giant had just demolished the place. Speaking of which I need information on a Juggernaut displaced that apparently knows you. This is the second time Mr. unstoppable has attacked and I need to know how to find him and kill him.” I say as I look them over while Sasha comes up behind them in an attempt to sniff their butts.

The mare with him lets out a startled reaction to Sasha looking up at her heads while Doom’s quietly processing with his index finger and thumb at his armored chin. “Are you speaking of ‘THE’ Juggernaut or one with general prowess? For without details then what you brought me into, I could only guess. Also meet Ms.Fleur Cursed siren in pony form and whose voice you heard the first time we met.” He gestured to her and in response she gave quite a graceful flourishes bow while she had a rough set of armor put on with a standard Unicorn helmet.

“Greeting miss Fleur. I apologize for Sasha she was just saying hi. She's a good puppy. As for your question Victor I’m talking about ‘THE’ Juggernaut. Professor X’s brother. Ugly helmet and all. He attacked once before when Celestia had my magic and body restrained and had me muzzled so she could force me through the tests for gods so she could make me a princess. He came crashing through the walls and made it very clear that he wanted to kill me. And now he attacked again when I was off world. The palace is trashed, the entire left wing has been converted into a medical wing for all the guards that tried to stop him and worst of all.” My body radiated darkness at this point that looked like a mix between a liquid and a gas that rolled off me like bubbling swamp water and my voice distorted into an almost demonic sound and I grew ten feet in my barely contained anger.

“He broke Celly and Lulu’s bodies again and again. Taking advantage of their immortality and regenerative abilities to torture them in order to draw me out. He broke off their horns, repeatedly crushed and twisted their bodies. And tore their skin off only to let it grow back again just to repeat the process!” At this I forced myself to calm down. “I can’t leave till I’m sure my girls have recovered. But once they are I’m planning on finding this guy and killing him! But I need to learn how to take that invulnerability he has away as well as how to find him. Seeing as he made it clear he wants me dead because I made friends with you I was hoping that you could at least help with the finding him part. Do you know where he lives or any way to track him?”

Doom focused again as he carefully for the first time looked around the room seeing its condition, his eyes moving to Sasha then what guards I had in the throne room then back to me as he spoke. “Since he attacked your Royal Sisters, it may have been a ploy to figuratively or literally weaken the strength potential of your closest allies who have the strongest ties to you. Harsh as it may sound, I believe he desires you to have ‘lost your head’ when you do encounter him in a blind rage. The guards could have also been an added bonus to LIMIT your wide net search tactics meaning he desires you to be at a single recognisable location, in short he’s baited you splendidly. Do you have any tunnels or personal portals located here as well that he could target if knowing about it? As for Tracking him, a Displaced should have a special ‘pattern’ or you could say magic frequency except yet again his helmet might block that.” He stopped when he looked at one of the holes in the room.

Turning to look at me again there was a certain feeling his eyes gave off. “Is there knowledge of cement here?” He asked out of the blue while the Anthro mare seemed to react as if knowing what his stare meant. Though his Spiderpony was actively petting Sasha vigorously under her chins, even rubbing a spot behind her ears at times.

“I don’t know about Cement. Well there is skystone. That’s made in almost the same way though that's used for cloud buildings. Most things like that are grown like the complex systems of crystals that were grown inside the mountain to support the city so that it won’t fall off the side of the mountain. As for the portal I did create one for Celly and Lulu but it's too small for him and he can’t stretch it out to fit. If he tries he would just break it. I would doubt that plan you suggested he had as he comes off as smart as he did in the old cartoon show. However according to Celly he was doing a favor for the Goodly Heroes which are an anti darkness fanatic group that have shown intelligence in planning. He took the Elements before leaving saying he was giving it to them for something.” I reply.

Doom stopped my explanation by raising a hand. “Wait, he took a magical six pieced equivalent of a deas ex machina weapon from its holdings? Also that brings up another if hopeful issue, he originally gained all his abilities from a item called the ‘Crimson Gem of Cyttorak’. It is the god’s name who made him his avatar you have seen, if he doesn’t have it in his possession then that could be a item he would be desperately seeking. Imagine what you have fought already, now when he gains that item and is empowered again he will NOT need to wear a helmet period. That one mental weakness he has will be removed from the picture if he does, but if you wish to bring him in, why not say that YOU have it?” Doom offered up before continuing at the end of it. “A trap if possible to send him off the planet would be the perhaps ‘easiest’ option, since you do not have perhaps one who is as strong as the hulk to keep him from moving around..”

I cringe as a thought came to me. “I have one minion that can go toe to toe with him. Are you familiar with the Dungeon Keeper games?” Getting a shake of the head from Doom I continued. “It's a strategy game but what I’m talking about is in Dungeon Keeper 2. There is an invulnerable demon named Horny that can be summoned with a massive amount of mana and keeps burning through the players reserves just by being there. However while he is in play he can’t be stopped till his timer runs out or the keeper that summoned him runs out of mana. I can summon him but...I can only control him while there are enemies to kill. I can’t slap him away like in the game either so if Juggy is defeated before the timer runs out he will try to kill the closest neutral party. Failing that he will try to kill allies and failing that my minions. He can’t help himself his purpose is literally to kill everything in his path. It’s why I didn’t use him with the undead dragon.” I say as I shrink myself back down to sit in my chair.

“And I don’t know what will happen in that fight. As far as I know there is nothing Horny’s blade can’t cut but as far as I know there is nothing that can cut the Juggernaut. If it kills Juggernaut I have an unstoppable killer on the loose and no making sure I summon him far from anyone else other than his target doesn't work. He can get to the closest city or town regardless of distance quickly so long as he has fire and the ground burs where he walks. I can only summon him against a truly massive army to insure he doesn't kill who he isn’t meant to. And if Horny can’t cut Juggernaut I don’t know how he would react. He’s never been exposed to anything living he can’t kill before. He might forget about the Juggernaut and go killing the closest mortals.” I tell them.

Doom sighed as he stood there, looking at the damage once more before he continued. “Baiting him into a place of your choosing is better than waiting for him to come at you knowing you’ll be here protecting your charges. Admittedly you are given little room to move in at the present, but I have to ask. Do you have any that could act as a body double for you? While you do such a bait you’ll need someone here strong enough to fend off anyone else such as these ‘goodly’ types, I would be on watch for any religious types who may become zealous in acting towards them too. From what Ms.Fleur told me, prior to Luna’s return most or half were worshiping Celestia. Guess who would be considered the ‘anti christ’ to her? If not presently ‘evil’.” Doom left a terrifying topic hanging open.

“I’ve already considered those tactics. I know the Art of War cover to cover and know better than to go in angry. I’ve also already set up traps here with Juggernaut’s abilities in mind and have called in my friends in the great Pigeon Empire as well as my own minions so I’ll at least know he’s coming. The man isn’t exactly subtle. I do have changelings among my minions but I won’t put them in that danger. Especially since Asphyxias got all of them pregnant and I have around two hundred babies sleeping in a nursery I have set up in my dungeon. I also have thirty two escape paths for my girls and the staff and yes myself as well. I’m not going to stay and fight for a building if I don’t think I can win. I was just hoping to get more info on him. He appears to hate you enough to come kill me for making friends with you. Do you know anything about him personally? Or just what you know from comics?” I ask him.

Doom spoke neutrally as he pointed at himself in gesture. “I have not personally met him, also he should have a brother perhaps playing Professor Xavier, but on a Issue I have seen from my own comic is I have Reed Richards who is working with, presumably Nightmare Moon. But there is a chance that my future self may have met him before what I will become then.” He started speaking in the realms of time travel to me, while Spidermare gave an acknowledging nod not seeing a single issue wrong with that. “Until I have encountered him or not, I am going under the presumption he may not be truly as he says he is. When roughly did he appear after we first met?”

“It wasn’t long after the second time during Nightmare Night. Maybe a month or two? It was shortly after Octavia became a vampire so ya I’ll say about a month after Nightmare Night.” I answer after thinking about it.

Doom cast an illusion mist between us forming a mini Juggernaut and myself with the girls. “Build a time table, he was working by himself the first time. Correct? Then by the second time he struck while you were gone, he at some point was tracked down and joined with this ‘Goodly’ organization. That means they could direct his power if they played him right, perhaps he could be using them to find the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak as I've mentioned before, or they have his token.” the mist on the right half for my vision showed a gloating juggy with shapes behind himself for the goodly heroes.

“I Honestly don’t think he knew I was gone. He was there to find me. He only took the Elements when he gave up on finding me.” I say as I lean back and sigh in annoyance. “Thanks for coming I appreciate it.” I say but Vinyl quickly moved forward before I could say goodby and offered a hoof to Spidermare.

“Hey I heard you had some bad experience with the undead. Before you go I just want to tell you we’re not all like that and offer a hoof of friendship.” Vinyl said with a smile.

Spidermare reflexively sneered though attempted to control that expression before, with a controlled breath, a nod and give a formal if vaguely polite warrior's bow with having her primary appendage over her chest leaning forward towards Vinyl. “May your coffin be never in any sun, and your drink warm.” Her four eyes stayed on Vinyl’s face before moving backwards towards Doom, while the Mare Fleur with him gave a graceful bow a noble would to royalty.

“Cool, thanks. Maybe we could do some hunting together sometime. Though Claw might insist on tagging along. That boneclaw gets way to excited about hunting for an undead that doesn't need to feed. What do ya say?” Vinyl asked with a happy smile that her attempts at friendship were working.

She looked back at Doom as he gave a shrug giving her a allowing motion, even with her own hesitance towards Vinyl. “We may do just that, though perhaps you will be called with your dark highness to face such hunts. For you may or may not find to your liking as for kin, be they of thestral or the blasphemous horned ones. Excluding yourself of course, they became so by trying to become immortal through magic and study of vamponies.”

“Um...Are you talking about blood magic? I don’t know much about that stuff other than what comes naturally to us. I was turned by a bight not through attempts at immortality. Also please don’t bring that up around my marefriend. If her reaction to seeing the Necronomicon when Rin had it out to compare notes that one time I don’t think she would react well to blood magic.” Vinyl said with furrowed brows. “She needs more time to adjust to her new life.”

Spidermare suspiciously turned her gaze away from Vinyl as she spoke. “How badly would she or you cringe at reading from leather tomes with pages of flesh in stained blood by a horned one? Also they are far more deadly with their ‘type’ of abilities, a weak will and resistance will not give you time to get in striking distance to stake their heart. That only paralyzes one where a true dawn or the Storm God’s armor could do so.” Doom seemed to raise a brow before giving a voice of realization.

“She means about my armor being made with pieces of the true cross, any undead who comes into contact is quite easily harmed. Also it keeps out ghosts too.” He idly mentioned, with a receiving nod from Spidermare. “So yes, that is a downside to friendly undead.”

“I would be fine. I may not have put too much stock into blood magic but I’m still an elder vampire. Older than Celestia and vampires have a natural resistance to blood magic. So those guys that you’re talking about are rarely an issue. The power needed to affect me with that magic would be hard for an alicorn. And what’s this true cross thing?” Vinyl asked as she touched the leg armor. She stood there as electricity danced across her body without batting an eye. “Ouch.” Vinyl said as she pulls back and blew onto her hoof. “Well touching that felt like walking in the sun.” She said and just stood there for a moment before falling over.

“...Vinyl?” I ask and get no response. “Well she’s not dead or she would be ash. I’ll send her back to her coffin and that will get her back on her hooves after a while.” I say as I use the hand to send her back.

Doom just looked at the spot where the upbeat if not head strong Vinyl was laid before having vanished by my hand back to her coffin. “At least I know now that part of my protection works, if not passively. It’s a bit, how do I say this when having just experienced that?” His hand gestured to where Vinyl was standing before. “Also If or When I do get into a bind needing your aid, I’ll hope it’s not at a bad time for you.”

“As do I but I will go to what is most important and inform the others that I can’t make it. And hopefully it won’t be in the sun if Vinyl wants to come. Vampires get special benefits while working for me. So long as one doesn't die in the sunlight and is high enough in level they just come back in their coffins one level lower if they die while in my services.” I say before I blink and lean back. “It’s a shame we can’t talk more but I do need to take care of things here and we have already passed the important business. Thank you for your time but we must bring this meeting to a close. Goodbye my friend and I wish you good fortune in your ventures.”

Doom nodded as he folded his arms, giving off an imposing figure until the words spoken by the Mare Fleur with a barely noticeable ‘prench’ accent came up. “We will, as mon amour and I have to prepare for a secret outing as the City is on Lockdown with a curfew.” With pressing herself into his side likely taking advantage of how he’s reacting to her, perhaps likely also shown in that comic like Lyra.

With a nod I speak the words. “Doctor Victor Von Doom our contract is complete.” One miniature tornado later and they were gone. I give a groan at having learned nothing new about the Juggernaut. “That just leaves one more displaced that might know something even if indirectly. Juggernaut did also say some vault dwellers wanted him to tell me what I did to Jack is funny.” With my hand I send the comic back and summon another token. Holding the thing in one paw I push the call button and wait for someone to pick up.

The Hyperion logo spun on the side while the backdrop showed off a few advertising images, The Crystal Empire with crystal ponies and robots moving around in a hybrid of sci-fi tech with even a hanging train station being in the center of the picture, the next showing a Everfree Forest image with a Hyperion base where the castle of the two sisters previously was, with a cute pony in the main part waving towards the camera. But the image cut short when what looks like a private room showing Equis outside the window, with a very anthro nightmarish alicorn on that end with slitted eyes staring back. “You are a kitsune? Would you hail from neighpon?”

“Um, no. I was just wearing a kitsune mask when I was displaced. Is Jack there I need to talk with him about something.” I respond.

She frowned before lightly shaking her head with a sigh, her eyes sharply looking back at me. “Physically he’s present, though forced to get some real bedrest then that shit called Stims. But I’ve taken it upon myself to answer his terminal while he is dreaming, I am, if you wish to traditionally referred to as, Nightmare Moon. Though at his Insistence Jack has wished for others to simply call me ‘Moon’ or when he is extra snarky, ‘fanged horse’.” From the expression at her last words she likely got revenge for that wording, while the background gave a view of another Alicorn silhouette moving around from a door to out of view.

“I see...Well maybe you can help me. And if not I can still contact him through his dreams by pulling his dream self into my world again.” I said but before I could continue I got a surprising reaction out of her.

Her eyes held a intense killing intent when she stared at me at that moment, without saying a word her eyes expressed a sight like that of a velociraptor that had caught sight of a foolish human hunter falling for bait. “...Thou dare? If thou so much as even try that again, we will personally dip into our own funds and maim thy body in ways that even healing magic wouldn’t fully restore. Thou would be lucky if we allowed thy womb to remain intact to even have the pleasure of giving life to young when it’s over.” Her appearance had actually gotten more terrifying even though her figure didn’t change, the only difference was her eyes were nearly black with teal glowing irises with no other light then her eyes to be seen with even what light in the room before now gone leaving the room pitch black.

I just give her a confused look. “Not bad but I’ve seen and given scarier looks hot stuff. I don’t know what has you so upset but an invulnerable giant just put my girls who I looked after and raised as my own through torture that no living thing should go through. I had to use my medical expertise to personally put their organs back in their proper places. Nothing you can say or do is scary enough to make me back down on getting what information I can on this bastard and at the moment the only clue I have to work with is something he said when he first tried to kill me. He said that a group of vault hunters wanted him to tell me that what I did to Jack was funny. So tell me what you know or I’ll pull his dream self no matter what threat you try.” I say before giving her the look I gave when I first learned about what happened to my girls. And in a distorted voice said. “Because mama fox is angry and you don’t get between mama fox and vengeance for her babies!”

Nightmare and I stared off at each other, as she spoke in that intense if not slightly lower than normal speaking tone. “We act in defense of our stallion, even though he is not a pony. As for thy topic, we do remember such an individual. He wore a red clamped helmet and held muscles as a walking mountain of a human? Quite the ego yet his hide hast not even a paper cut from the sharpest of sword or bruise from most powerful of guns or spells?” She ended up describing him to a T at her questioning tone, as if to make sure it was the same man.

“Yes that’s the Juggernaut. Physically invulnerable in every way. What do you know of him?” I ask.

She started rubbing under her horn seeming to try and recall the events related to him, until there was that look of remembering on her muzzle. “We remember how it was the time in dealing with Tambelon and the manure that be Grogar was a threat, that same ‘Juggernaut’ as thou calls him had aligned himself with Grogar for the sole purpose of making him merely a stain for his maker. Something about dragging him back to an altar to claim what is rightfully his. But the goose hunt Jack led him on gave Discord time to be ready to banish the city and it’s evil with it, only he had lucked out by the skin of his teeth and that stallion’s hand still gripping his leg when the city vanished leaving only that.” She leaned back in the chair trying to remember something else, before snapping her fingers as Discord might. “Jack had mentioned something regarding of ‘since we cannot kill him conventionally or not, we should send him packing by way of a rift.’ Is generally how we remember him saying it, thou should understand many of the words he uses when covering his ‘science’ elude us even today. Though he has far more deadly means to immortals now, than he did then.” She huffed in annoyance at that part before looking back at me.

I give a disappointed sigh. “That’s all you know about him? I know more than that. You didn’t even know about Juggernaut’s one weakness that we used to knock him out the first time. And his power isn’t simple immortality… Well at least I got a clue about something. It kind of sounded like he working for a being that created him. Not born? That’s a god level being if I’ve ever hear of one. Still don’t know if it will help.”

She nods slowly, only to get a troubled look on her face before looking off screen to her side before her smile slightly returned. “How would thou react to a material that could wound or slay those of divine levels of power? Specifically those of magic being how they be?” She stared into my eyes, as she felt disturbed by that spoken sentence.

“I say you have my undivided attention.” I say as I lean in closer to the screen.

She took a moment before explaining further, working herself up to what disturbed her. “Traditionally one would have to be an immortal or of equal power to kill another if not thou being slain in the brutal if not primal fighting, all just to end the one thou faced for good as she in our previous state attempted to do with our ,at the time, sibling.” She took a breath before continuing but carefully now with a strange look in her eyes. “How would thou feel that all that effort if not likely months or years just to slay one immortal could be now done with a single bullet? no build up, no tension, simply one aimed shot and they simply are gone. Including any being behind them weather it be their cohort or innocent it continues on as one would a knife through butter without any friction to slow it down. Nothing other than gravity and non magical paint blend.”

“I say that is a very dangerous weapon. But why is it stopped by paint?”

She shook her head a bit as she brought up a bullet in it’s casing to show me, from the holo screen. “It’s not the gun that does it, tis the end that is fired from it. Jack had learned how to make this ‘god killing alloy’ by reversing what he was given by another who bought much from him just to make a defense against this thing, the bullet targets only magic. That is the trait as even a grazing hit does quite more than it first seems, imagine being warm then suddenly thy arm is frozen solid. To that extreme, does it affect us that if it were a hit as one would do a mortal. We would have ended up the same in the end, He had tested his recreated sample on one named Tirek. In short it worked too well to our tastes..”

“I see. Tirek wasn’t muck of a fight and now makes a cute pet but still. How much for one of those bullets? and a gun that will fit it?” I ask her.

She nods and taps on the keys before long on the side view of the video chat showed the bullet in question would cost one million bits, with a free handgun of normally under one hundred thousand range for first buyers. It even had a cartoonishly dead Tirek with X’s where his eyes should be and his tongue hanging out in a cross armed fashion with a ‘Jack seal’ of approval covering his forehead. “We ask that thou do recover the round after it’s spent by use of the paint lathered over it and recycle back to us when completed.”

I use the hand to grab up a sizable amount of gems and activated the matter transporter on this thing and just poured them in. From the screen I saw a claptrap suddenly look up and give a panicked shout before turning and trying to roll away but not making it in as a small avalanche of gems overtakes the robot burying it under the shiny stones. Shortly after the matter transporter held a handgun and a small painted box. Taking the box I opened it to see the promised pebble to take down my Goliath. The bullet gave off a feeling like my fear traps but this thing wasn’t made to give false fear. I close the box and use the hand to take it and the gun to my private vault with my other super dangerous items. I had no intention on relying only on this but everything that can help is welcome. And now I have something that should at least hurt him should he come knocking again. Assuming it will work at all.

“Thank you. The sooner I can stop this guy the better. Oh and I never intended to harm Jack in any way. I only did that because the claptrap that answered before I did take him just yelled at me for no reason before I could even talk and then would hang up. And if you were worried about me trying to take him take him… I’m a lesbian. I was a guy before I was displaced and I never switched teams. You have nothing to worry about.” I say to her it a reassuring manner.

She sighed softly before rolling her eyes, a smile finally returned though she pointed towards me as she spoke in a jabbing manner. “Thou returned him with a Diamond bust of him, how could we have not had been thou having rutted him silly and somehow removed thy scent from him except for thy magic trace of such a feat? We have enough trouble with Celestia playing her games to keep as physically close to our stallion as possible, then there is that pink young married tart who’s changing tune wanting him to rut her brains out as a whorse.” Her frown only deepened with every word spoken with a controlled growl.

I blink in confusion at her words. processing...processing… “You think that bust meant anything? I wanted to shop for high tech goodies and I wanted to make it clear I will not be denied so I snagged him in his dreams but I wanted there to be no hard feelings and to show it. So I played to his ego with that thing. Keep in mind I was displaced with the powers from a game where you play as the evil overlord of the underworld. I hold dominion over the underground and all the riches it holds. I can easily take all the precious metals and stones I want from the ground so I never had to worry about wealth. For me that thing may as well be made of dirt. Gems may be worth a lot to others but when you can get as many as you want right out of the earth beneath your paws with no effort on your part.” I leave off there while giving a shrug.

She lifted an eyebrow while stating this. “Perhaps, as Diamond Dogs are ones who tend to find the most of these easily if not Dragons. But thou had perfectly shaped that diamond to match his head, also he does have another thing in common with stallions, he is rather dense when it comes to ‘signs’ of interest. That’s the main reason we were concerned about his disappearance and then him returning with a gift of personal view, it told us that a creative mare spent time and effort to impress him. We may not have known thy intentions but the action drew a conclusion. But for now we must go return to bed to safeguard his dreams from trauma.”

“Very Well. I’ll bid you goodnight then. Oh and that bust was made using a low level copy spell similar to a 3D printer. Making that thing took no effort or time. And with that.” I push the hang up button and shake my head. “Even after all these years of being one I’ll never understand women.” I say as I summon up a large gem and used it to suck up all of the dark magic that overflowed from my body after it gorged itself on my rage. Once that was done I kept filling the gem with the dark energy that was still in me till the gem could hold no more and became completely black.


A small group of ponies griffons and one minotaur looked up at their new ally against the dark fox as he walked up to the small group and tossed one of the two bags he was carrying on the floor which opened on landing allowing the Elements to be seen inside.

"I guess this means that you failed to kill the fox?" One of the ponies asked the Juggernaut as he looked down at the magical weapons.

"She wasn't home." Juggernaut said with a shrug. "You sure you guys can use those things?"

"We believe we found a group of friends in our organization that meet the requirements. But let's find out. Allow me to introduce you to Strong Heart the loyal. He has dedicated his life to the ways of our founder." At the pony's words Strong heart walked forward making his fat jiggle like a waterbed. Everyone stepped back, even the Juggernaut, to get away from the smell. Reverently he lifted Rainbow Dash's necklace from the bag and tried to put it on his neck but quickly found that it didn't fit with all of his chins in the way so he put it on the upper part of his right foreleg. The small part of the gem on the Element that was sticking out from his armpits glowed. Showing that it accepted him.

"The next candidate is normally a solo agent but still a good friend in there group. There are many stories about heroes and villains that the great Strong Heart told while he was still with us. Including the greatest hero ever known to humankind. Batman. This pony took what batman did and took on the form of what scared him most as a foal to fight evil. This happened to be the batman's greatest foe. Our Element of laughter, Punch Line." At this a white earth pony with a green mane and tail wearing a purple tux walked up with a face splitting smile and took Pinkie's Element and placed it on his neck. His smile somehow grew even larger as the balloon shaped gem started to glow.

"Next is our Element of kindness Dr. Doctor. One of our best healers. And known on the field for insisting on a painless death for evil everywhere." A unicorn mare in a lab coat walked up and took Fluttershy's Element and placed it on her neck with her stethoscope. She smiled sweetly as it started to glow.

"Our Element of Generosity is one of our blacksmiths who puts his heart and soul to give our troops the best of the best in armor and weapons. Iron Hammer." The lone minotaur approached the bag and took Rarity's Element before taking a moment to look it over disapprovingly before placing it on his neck while mumbling about it being a fashion don't. Regardless of what he thought of its looks the gem started to glow so he hung his head in defeat and acceptance.

"And his partner in crafting is our best enchanter, Trinket Sparkle. He is a member of the prestigious house of Sparkle known for their strong magic. And the most qualified we have for the Element of magic." At this an older looking pony wearing a wizard's robe and hat walked forward and took the only headwear in the bag before placing it on his hat. When nothing happened he sighed and took his hat off before placing the Element on his head causing it to glow. Seeing that it worked the second time the other members of the Goodly Heroes gave a sigh of relief.

"And last is Bob the desk guy for the armory at the nearest base that we would normally never send out in the field because he can't keep his big beak shut and by default of being the only guy in the Goodly Heroes who can't lie to keep our workings a secret. He is the only one in our entire organization we could think of that could be the holder of honesty." The pony said with a deadpan as an excited looking griffin that hopped around like a kid came forward and took the last necklace in the bag and put it on his skinny neck. He pushed up his big owlish glasses to get a better look as the apple shaped gem started to glow. With a nod the pony turned to the Juggernaut with a proud smile. "Yes we can use them!"

The Juggernaut looked down at the group before turning to the pony that was introducing the group that had been chosen to wield one of the weapons they had collected to strike down the fox once and for all. "You're all weirdoes." Juggernaut said flatly before pulling what looked like a diamond out of his belt. "This is a little gift as a sign of our... alliance. It's called a portal gem. With this you can create a portal to the world of the original Goodly Heroes should you ever need it." Juggernaut said as he tossed the artifact to the lead pony who looked it over suspiciously.

"Thanks." Was all he could think to say. He wasn't expecting a gift from someone like the Juggernaut. They may have been on the same side but the Juggernaut was a real plot hole. So he decided he would have this thing locked in a vault just to be safe.

Paranoia.

View Online

Why? Why must I suffer? "Yes! Yes I love him! But it is a love that can not be!" I just wanted to check up on the girls. How did I get dragged into this? And why did Celestia abandon me? "For my heart already belongs to another! Another called... basket weaving! I can not give up my basket weaving! It is my life's passion! it's my cutie mark! I'm even the basket weaving world tournament champion three years running!" ...please tell me that's not really a thing. "Which is why he must never know! For if he were to find out that I loved him back and asked me to marry him, I don't think I could refuse!" You're talking to him right now. His disguise is a fake mustache made from a comb stuck to his face with duck tape. You should be able to see through that. Luna hugged me tighter. My ears fold back and I cringe again as her tears fall onto my head.

"Thou foal! Thou can have both!" Luna shouted at the mare.

"Again, they can't hear you." I deadpan. It's bad enough she's making me watch a chick flick. She needs to give me a shower as well? What more could she do to m- Wait! I didn't mean it! I tense up and my eyes dart around the room as I wait for the proverbial anvil to fall on my head. I cringe again at the sound of her blowing her nose over my head. "...that was my tail. Not a hanky." That's it. I love them but I can only take so much of this. "I really should get back to work. So if you could just let me go." I say as I try to push her forelegs away from me but they don't budge. With an annoyed sigh I watch the world grow around me as I shrink further and further until I'm the size of a mouse and slip through Luna's forelegs and slide down her belly and land with a grunt onto her lap. With a victorious squeak I hop down onto the bed sheets and run towards the edge. Only for a giant blue hoof to reach down and snatch me up before pressing me against Luna's wet cheek under one of her eyes. I groan in misery as I'm drenched from head to tail by the salty waterfall of tears bombarding me. And so fails escape attempt number nine.

Unable to escape I close my eyes and sigh at being prevented from checking up on the defenses again. Claw had tracked Juggernaut to a meeting place where he and another group teleported away. When we brought in the royal mages they tracked the teleportation to a beach where they got on a boat to who knows where. Not knowing when I will be attacked again I put the palace on high alert and bolstered the guards with my own troops. Dragons, black knights and those shadow wolves. I want to know how those Goodly Heroes keep sneaking in here. Even the Goodlys we have locked up don't know how their friends have been getting in. I've grown jumpy waiting for the next attack. They have the Crystal Heart and they have the Elements. There is no telling what kind of hardened killer among the Goodly Heroes will infiltrate these walls next.


(Story following Lyra Heartstrings.)

With a happy sigh Lyra trudged up to her door. She had just gotten home and was eager for a nap and to spend some time with her best friend. With a confused blink she looked at a party invitation on her door and cringed at its writing before taking it off the door and placing it in her pack. Quietly she opened the door and tippy hoofed up the stairs to surprise Bon-bon. Carefully and playfully she moved into her friend's room. Crouched like a lioness ready to pounce she moved in but passed as a look of panic crossed her face when she saw her monster killing weapons out of their hiding places and set on Bon-bon's bed. At that moment Bob-bon walked into the room and looked down at Lyra.

"I can explain." Lyra closed her mouth after those words filled the air. That had been exactly what she was going to say but Bon-bon beat her to it. Taking a closer look Lyra realized that those weapons looked more used than hers.

"What?" Lyra asked in Confucian. Bon-bon looked around nervously before giving a sigh.

"The truth is my name isn't Bon-bon. It's special agent Sweety Drops. I used to work for a super secret anti-monster agency in Canterlot. Or at least I did until a monster called the bugbear went missing from Tartarus a few years back."

"...what?"

"When it escaped we had to shutter the whole agency. Every last shred of evidence of the organization's existence was distressed. Celestia demanded complete deniability."

"...what?"

"I had to assume the name Bon-bon and go into hiding. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't for your own protection." Bon-bon said as she packed her equipment.

"............................................................what?"

"But princess Celestia has sent a letter saying that the agency is being reactivated. I'd show you but it has already self destructed... By the way we need a new couch. Look I know you're probably mad at me for keeping this secret but I did it for your own protection. But I need to go now for the sake of national security." Bon-bon said as she zipped up her bag and moved towards the door.

"Wait what? You're not going anywhere without me!" Lyra insisted as she jumped in her friends path.

"I don't know Lyra. I'm going to the palace. It could be dangerous if those terrorist attack again." Bon-bon said unknowingly upsetting her friend who managed to keep her poker face.

"The palace full of guards? I'll be fine. If things get bad I'll just hide." Lyra pleaded. "Besides I saved your life! If not for me you would have eaten that baked bad!"

"You ate my baked bad and got sick. That wasn't saving my life that was karma." Bon-bon deadpanned as she turned to leave.

"I ate your mother's cooking!"

"...."


"I can't believe I'm doing this." Bon-bon said as she and Lyra walked through the halls in the palace in Canterlot.

"Too bad I'm sticking with you! There is no way you're getting rid of me that easily!" Lyra exclaimed jokingly. I also need to watch your back. There is no way I'm letting my best friend walk into a spider's web like that. Lyra thought to herself. "Say what's with all the crystal ponies?" Lyra asked as she looked out at all the the crystal ponies that were walking around the city through a window.

"How can you know what a crystal pony is and not know?" Bon-bon asked in confusion.

"Well I met one and he told me he came from an empire up north and I just figured they were like the yaks." Lyra lied. I'm sorry. I would tell you but I can't Risk it while you're so close to this danger.

"Well there is this artifact called the crystal heart that used to protect them but it was stolen recently and without it the intense cold froze their home solid. Not to mention the damage done thanks to Sombra, this evil Unicorn guy. So they had to evacuate their city because they would have frozen to death without the heart. It came in so fast they barely escaped with their lives." Bon-bon answered.

"Wa... was anypony hurt?" Lyra asked with feelings of guilt. If she found out that good ponies died because of something the Goodlies did it would be horrible. Especially since they kept it for the greater good as they all agreed a reusable, discriminating bomb with such a massive blast radiance would be invaluable in cleansing entire cities at a time.

"No. Thankfully all four princesses were there to help get all of the crystal ponies out of there." Bon-bon reassured her friend as they walked passed the Element bearers that appeared to have come from the room they were heading towards now.

"Halt!" Two guards said as they bared their way. Bon-bon was undeterred and walked up to the two guards and showed them what Lyra thought might be a badge but couldn't see it at this angle. The two guards nodded and let her pass but when Lyra tried to follow her friend the guards got in her way again.

"Authorization?" One of them asked.

"Sorry Lyra but this will take a few hours. Why don't you look around? The areas you're aloud to look anyways." Bon-bon said with an apologetic smile.

"But, how will we find each other again when you're done?" Lyra asked.

"Don't worry about that Lyra. I can find you no matter where you are." Bon-bon said with a smile. ...Not creepy at all. Lyra thought as her friend disappeared through the door. Might as well see what I can learn while I'm here. Lyra thought to herself before turning around and walking down a random hall. Now if I was an evil creature of darkness where would I keep my evil things? Lyra's thoughts were interrupted when she saw princess Celestia walking down the hall and turning into another room. What happened to her horn!?

"Hello there Sasha. Would you like a good scratch?" Lyra heard Celestia say as she peeked into the large room to find the princess doing her best to scratch under all three chins at once. How can she balance on one hoof like that? While Lyra was thinking that the two were unaware of the thoughts passing through two of the three heads on the pup. While one was hoping that the pretty pony would move on to belly scratches soon the other two in all their innocents were making connections. Mistress said we can only put the food and toys she gives us in our mouths. Pretty white pony was the first toy she gave us to play fetch with. Ponies are yummy... When the right head opened her mouth and sticks out her tongue Celestia closed her eyes tight and turned her head to the side to prepare for what she thought was going to be an affectionate lick.

Lyra's jaw dropped when she saw Celestia's upper half disappear inside the mouth of the pup's right head before the pup stood up. The right head had a happy smile in its face as it savored the princess's flavor while the princess's hind legs kicked wildly as Celestia fought to escape. But soon those legs were trapped as well as the middle head opened wide and took her lower half. Oh my Celestia it's eating her! Lyra thought in a panic as she charged in. As a recruiter Lyra only had the most basic combat skills that any goodly could have but thanks to her talent in music she was good at sonic spells which made her invaluable in a support role in the battles she had been in and luckily for her she had her lyre with her. Quickly she pulled it out while keeping her gallop and used her magic along with her instrument to create a sound so high pitched that no pony could hear it. Lyra smiled as she saw her plan work as the three heads gave of a 'yarp!' of surprise sending Celestia flying out and landing with a wet splat on the tile floor. That smile turned into a look of horrified shock when the pup jumped back because of the sound and was about to land on her.

Desperately Lyra backpedaled in the hopes of getting out of the way but tripped on a large, soft cushion that was probably what the dog slept on and rolled a little ways in before a crushing weight fell on her. Alive but in pain Lyra struggled as hard as she could to get out from under the crushing weight of the pup but the lovable bundle of fur and drool was too heavy. Meanwhile the pup's heads were whimpering as Celestia chastised them about how she was not a dog treat. Celestia then grabbed a hose that had been pulled in through the window for the purpose it was about to serve and sprayed the pup in the faces like one would squirt a normal sized dog with a spray bottle. Having finished disciplining the pup Celestia marched off to get a bath grumbling about cutting her walk short.

The pup however just sat there whimpering about how they just wanted to taste the pony and how they weren't going to chew on her, except the left head that whimpered that she didn't do anything wrong. Not that anyone around could understand them. Worse still they were trapped. They don't know what it is but they know that they are sitting on whatever made the bad noise. They could feel it trying to get away and all three heads agreed they didn't want to get up for fear that it will start making the bad noise again.


An hour and a half later.


Lyra laid there with what one would describe as an extremely annoyed look on her face if anyone could see it. She had given up on trying to get out from under the fidgety pup and just waited for the dog to get up while being thankful she could still breath. Though she was confused at how she could with all this weight pressing down on her. The entire time lamenting that she never learned how to teleport.

"There you are Sasha. What's wrong you normally come play with me when it's my break time. Why are you still here?" A female voice asked aloud causing the giant pup to make whining sounds. "Bad noise? What bad noise?" The voice asked. Wait can she understand this mutt? Please whoever you are get it off me! Lyra thought to herself as if she could project her thoughts. As if on cue the tremendous weight lifted off of Lyra and she finally took in a breath of fresh air before turning to thank whoever had saved her before freezing while her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Holy human." Lyra said breathlessly as she looked up at the dark fox herself who was now huge and holding the giant three headed dog like it was a normal puppy.

"...What...were you doing under my dog's butt?" The fox asked in confusion.

"I-I" Lyra stammered. Just say the truth. She can't figure anything important out from that and she might be able to detect lies. Lyra thought to herself. "W-was exploring when I saw princess Celestia come into this room. I peaked in the room out of curiosity when I saw the dog trying to eat her so I saved her with a sonic spell. Then it sat on me." Lyra said nervously as she saw a displeased look cross the fox's face. She's mad. Did I foil her plans to get rid of princess Celestia? Lyra thought nervously as she glanced at her now broken lyre. That was the only weapon I could safely get in here. If she attacks me I'm dead! Lyra though with a gulp.

"Is this true Sasha?" The fox asked the puppy it was holding getting a few barks from the three heads. "Bad girls! Celestia is not a toy! I don't care how yummy you think ponies are stop putting them in your mouths unless I say otherwise!" Lyra gulped at hearing it has acquired a taste for pony flesh. "As for you. Good girl." The fox said as she scratched the left head behind the ears. "Sorry about that. You aren't hurt are you?" The fox asked Lyra in a concerned tone. A commendable act foul creature. But I can see through your lies. Lyra though as she got up.

"No your majesty I'm fine." Lyra replied.

"That's good. I need to get back to the throne room as my break will be over soon. By the way your friend is there. She was relay freaked out that she couldn't find you. At least now we know why? Not a hiding place anyone would think to look." The fox said with laughter in her eyes as she set the puppy down and produced a single treat for the left head before shrinking back down to size. "Come she's waiting." Lyra was weary of the fox but didn't want to raise any suspicions so she returned her broken lyre to her saddle bags and followed the fox and was joined by two earth ponies in scary looking armor. Fortunately the walk was a short one and they soon found themselves in the throne room where the fox sat on a large throne that looked like it was made of diamond with what looks like a flowing black cloud inside.

"There you are! Where have you been? You know when I said I will find you I didn't mean it to be a challenge!" Bon-bon said angrily.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worried." Lyra said.

"The poor thing was so lost when I found her. Don't blame her this is a big palace." The fox lied. Lyra was momentarily surprised at how well the fox lied without a single tell with such ease before the fox winked at Lyra with her head turned so that only Lyra could see. Trying to make me think it's to save me the embarrassment are you? Nice try! I know you want to keep your attempt on the real princess's life a secret! Lyra thought bitterly.

"Well... I guess I can't blame you for that. I was just worried. I can't believe I couldn't find you if you were just wandering the halls." Bon-bon said with furrowed brows.

"Your majesty it's time to continue." A voice interrupted and Rin sighed in annoyance.

"Fine. I just hope there are no more nobles here trying to win my paw. I don't know how many attempts to flirt I can take." Rin said with a sour look on her face.

"It's not that bad is it princess?" Bon-bon asked. The fox opened her mouth to respond but at that moment the doors burst open and a rose covered platform was rolled in with a blue unicorn with another rose in his mouth. He was soon followed by a band being rolled in on a much smaller platform that had immediately started playing music while the stallion stood up and turned around and started shaking his plot around while wiggling his eyebrows as he started to sing I'm too sexy. Rin's head turned away from the display with an even more sour look on her face as she looked at Bon-bon as if to say 'you tell me.' Not that she could see this as she like most of the room were staring at the show in horror.

Lyra’s attention was drawn away from the the scene when she heard some shouting from outside before the door burst open and in walked a being who looked human for the most part, the only difference was he had a tail.

“Ax? What are you doing here? And why were you waiting in line when you could have portaled in.”

“He didn’t wait in line he skipped everypony!” An indignant shout rang out from the hall.

“Rin, I need the Skull of hate.” This Ax guy asked seriously. And what was this skull he was talking about?

“What? Why would you want that evil thing back?” The dark fox asked in confusion. "No wait I need you to sign this first." Rin said as a parchment and a quill floated over to Ax. With a raised eyebrow Ax complied before the quill and parchment was pulled back. "Ok now please answer the question."

“I need it for the war of shadows, to help me keep two displaced armies from running wild over an equestria, where the war will take place. Please Rin, I’d never ask this if I thought I wouldn’t need it.” Asphyxious said with as much seriousness as he could muster while thinking of Rin's hind quarters. An equestria? What is he talking about? And what are displaced? And who was that? Lyra thought to herself as she looked around. "W-was that Morgan Freeman?!" Asphyxious asked aloud as he searched for the source of the voice.

“Well that proves you're you. The Morgan Freeman curse narrates everything the user of the cursed object does for a few days. Even when they lie. Don't worry I can break it at any time."

"...I want. I want." Asphyxious said wile staring at the cursed quill.

"Mine!" Rin said while sending the quill away. "Now I need you to let me in your head to check for mind control. You understand considering the nature of the thing you're asking for." Asphyxious suddenly turned serious and gave a nod. Rin's eyes then began to glow toxic green and whisps of darkness came out of them showing that the fox was using dark magic. "Alright. If you feel you really need it. I ca-” Rin started to say but was interrupted by the noble that was just trying to court her.

“Excuse me but whatever this is about can wait! Can’t you see I’m wooing the princess? Get back out there and wait your turn!” He shouted through the rose in his mouth.

“First off don’t interrupt me when I’m talking. Secondly I’m sorry but it just can’t work out between us. You’re just too sexy for me.” Rin said as she used her magic to push the parade float he rode in on outside taking him with it.

“Let me guess, the line outside are all here to win your hand?” The Ax guy asked, sounding amused by this.

“More than not unfortunately. Celestia and Luna are out of commission for a bit because the Juggernaut came back and tortured them. So now there is a rumor going around that I took over and as a result there are several nobles trying to become the king of darkness.” Rin said with a deadpan.

“I don’t really see you as the Queen of darkness type You're more of the sweet mum who looks after her kids type to me.” Ax said grinning a little. Lyra had to hold back a snort at that lie. As if such a vile spawn of Tartarus could be motherly or sweet save for her acting. So he’s being manipulated too.

“Anyways I already have my imps working on an air tight room to create a portal to the moon. It will take a little time. Why don’t you just relax somewhere till I get it.” Rin said with a smile.

“Thanks Rin I need time away from Mask, trust me there's only so much I can take being around that displaced. Don’t get me wrong he’s funny, but even I can’t stand being around him for more than a week.” Ax said with a sigh.

“Would you like to go down to the dungeon and meet your two-hundred children?” Rin asked with a smile. ...two-hundred children?...wait dungeon! She’s keeping children in the dungeon!? Lyra swallowed hard as she tried to keep her anger in check.

“I’d like that, maybe next time I can bring Chrysalis and Pupa over to see them. Also Sister has had her first clutch of eggs.” Ax replied proudly as he walked inside a strange hole in the ground that opened out of nowhere.

“Alright but be careful in dealing with the moms. They’re demanding alimony!” Rin called out as Ax was jumping in.

“I will!” He called back.

“Can I go too? I love children.” Lyra asked the fox. As much as I want to protect Bon-bon she is a trained fighter. And besides the fox will be destroyed once the plan is executed later today. The children come first. Lyra thought to herself. Rin frowned at this request.

“I guess but only if you stay in the nursery. And I’ll have to insist that you have an inhibitor ring and leave your things with Bon-bon.” Rin said.

“Yes go play with the kids. I’m sure they’ll love you.” Bon-bon said with a smile. Happy to find an excuse to get her friend somewhere safe. Swallowing hard Lyra nodded and allowed a guard to lock a ring on her horn. And dropped her Lyre at Bon-bon’s hooves. Feeling like she was walking to death row she jumped into the hole and to her confusion fell back up through a different one. With a grunt she belly flopped onto a soft floor and looked up at a baby changeling only with dragon eyes and wings that was using a doll of some kind of monster as a pacifier. And even more disturbing the doll appears to be alive. oh I made a mistake.

“Okay, okay, kids I’m happy to see you to. But if you all climb all over me I can’t get up!” A voice called out with laughter. It sounded like Ax. Looking over Lyra saw Ax buried under a pile of babies that were giggling happily and snuggling, pulling and playing with him. Lyra then felt something crawl up onto her back and looked over to another baby changeling that was sitting on her. With an innocent smile it offered her a ball in the shape of an eyeball. That moment was enough to get her to want to save the kids again. Until the eyeball plushy opened a mouth she didn’t know it had and clamped onto her nose.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Lyra screamed as she ran around the room in a panic with a giggling baby on her back enjoying the ride and a toy monster on her nose enjoying her flavor. “Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!”

“Okay calm down and stop running your going to hurt yourself.” Ax called over as he stopped Lrya and pulled the doll off her nose. “There all better.” He said before picking up the baby changeling on her back.

“How is that thing even alive?” Lyra wheezed as she tried to catch her breath. I need to get more training in. A few years of only recruiting has gotten me out of shape.

“Don’t know, maybe Rin trapped an evil spirit again like last time.” Ax replied, handing the baby to a Changeling and kissed her lovingly.

“What evil spirit? What last time? Maybe there is something useful I can learn. If the fox has been dealing with the competition we need to get what is set free after she’s gone.

“It was so long ago it doesn't matter. Say your Lyra right? Nice to meet one who's not as crazy about humans as the one back home. Oh by the way my name is Asphyxious.”

“Back home?” So it’s true. She came from another dimension. The same one Strong Heart came from. I thought she was just lying about that.

“The princess knows a spell called dollification that turns what it hits into harmless playthings. The toys you see here were an army of evil monsters she turned to toys and gave to the babies. Nothing but mindless beasts.” One of the changelings said to Lyra answering her question.

“Are we talking about the kids or their toys.” Asphyxious joked before another female changeling hit him in the arm. “I was kidding you know I love you all.” He then kissed the changeling that hit him.

“She can do that? Is that what happened to Chrysalis and Sombra?” Lyra asked straight faced.

“She turned me into a doll once.” Asphyxious said then started to blush. “I wonder if she left Chrysalis out?”

“The former queen has been dollifide but when she isn’t being played with or having visitation time with her hive she is locked up at all times. She is a prisoner after all.” The changeling responded as she patted the baby she was holding on the back causing it to burp up a flame.

“Awww, I wanted to show her off to my Chrysalis back home. We could of had a lot of fun.” Asphyxious said again with a big smile on his face. Ok definitely worth knowing. I need to warn the others that Chrysalis and Sombra will be back after the fox’s death.

“Let's not forget Mr. Nibbles.” Asphyxious asked looking around for the cage. “Where is the little guy?”

“He’s kepped in a separate play room. The babies aren't allowed to be around him anymore until they are older. We were almost unable to save him in time. Luckily there was a stomach pump that is kept sterile with the princesses other tools.” The changeling said with an embarrassed shrug. “I can’t imagine why that baby swallowed him. I never once felt even a drop of love come from the guy.”

“Why would they try and eat Tirek? That guy is a bigger pain than Lord Toruk.” Asphyxious replied, playing with one of the baby changelings. “Oh well, makes me happy that I killed the Tirek back home. Guy was an asshole.”

“So just wondering. Are you a human? And if so what’s up with the tail?” Lyra asked as she picked up a baby to cuddle until she noticed the smell and hoofed the kid over to a passing changeling and picked up a clean one and started bouncing the baby much to the kid’s excitement.

“I guess you can say I used to be human, I was displaced as a Lich. And then I was locked away for 900 years. Went insane then was saved by the diamond dogs and Shining Armor as well as his wife's magic that set me free. I was then hit with the elements because no big surprise, all the ponies thought I was evil because I was a lich. Anyway got hit, got this new body and Chrysalis thought it was a good idea to try it out… My god I love that changeling.” ...that makes no sense! If he was a lich he would have been evil and the elements would have stoned him or something! The undead can’t reproduce so he’s not undead so he’s lying or he’s been brainwashed.

“It always make me laugh how ponies always think something evil by how it looks. Kind of sad when you think about it. Think about all the interesting things they could learn, if they didn’t see things as, oh no you're a dragon you must be evil. Or oh no it's an undead lich we must stop his evil plans, or the one that pisses me off the most. Oh no he’s a monster, we have to get rid of him by burying him under ground withOUT THE LIGHT OF DAY!” Lyra’s ears folded back as Asphixias’s shouting caused all of the babies to start crying.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you.” He said sadly picking up a baby changeling and rocking one of them in his arms. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, for a displaced their first contact with ponies tends to end up with them being stoned. All displaced used to and are still human at their core. But then you get the ones who are damaged, they forget who they used to be. And just go with who they pretend to be, I may have Asphyxious powers, but I’m not him. I’ll never be a lich in my heart. And Rin was the same, used to be human, now a fox with a lot of magic.” Lyra’s brain reeled at the new information.

“She used to be human?...what kind of powers did she get when she chose to be umm… displaced?” Lyra asked.

“That the real kicker Lyra, we never chose this… None of us chose to be displaced in the first place. Some asshole with a lot of power is doing this for shits and giggles… If I knew, I never would gotten that staff from the merchant. That's all we know him by, and that's all anyone knows about him, it. He wait for those with a missing piece to their customs and then sells it to them. They're then sent to a equestria, what happens after that up to them.” ...if that’s the case I can see the Elements curing him and bringing him back to life. So he is being manipulated by the fox. She was turned to stone so Harmony must know that she’s evil.

“That still doesn't answer my question. What is she?” Lyra asked. Anything useful. Don’t want any unpleasant surprises once she’s dead.

“As far as I know, she's a sexy fox who knows a lot about magic.” Asphyxious replied smiling. “I think out of the two of us, Rins got a good thing going for her. A family that loves her for who she is, and don’t care what she is. Reminds me of my daughter Pupa back home and the others, she didn’t care that she was a changeling and I was a lich. She saw me as her dad… What more could I ask for.” Asphyxious said smiling as the baby in his arms fell asleep. “But, if any harm comes to those I care about, I would not hesitate to burn everything in my path. After all, I am part dragon.” Lyra would normally be annoyed that she didn’t get any new information that she could use but her brain locked on one thing. He has more kids at home!

“I, see. So what about this war you-” Lyra started to ask but was interrupted by a loud noise and the ground shaking. Several things could be seen running past the doorway to find out what’s going on.

“Well looks like someone was stupid enough to attack Rin’s dungeon whilst I was still here.” He said before his body was covered in blue fire, He then turned into a huge tall metal being, with nothing but a skull for a head.

Time for me to have some fun and see who faints from just seeing me. Keep the kids safe.” Asphyxious said before following down the hall after the others. Looking around Lyra saw the changelings herding the kids to the back so she hoofed the baby she had over and seizing the opportunity to see more of this place took off herself down the hall. It was a long run but soon she came to the crowd that were being kept back by a group of small bug eyed creatures while others dug open a new path into a room that apparently had no other entrance. Some of those creatures approached with an empty crate with a bio-hazard sign while others walked out carrying a large metallic skull. So that’s the skull. I can feel it trying to take me over already. I can’t let that thing leave. It needs to be destroyed!

No, you need its power… Lyra heard in her head, a voice old and full of power. She found it hard to think as it dug into her thoughts and hate. I could destroy all of the evil in the world. I could bring world peace with- Wack! Lyra’s thoughts were knocked back into place by an angry looking bug eyed creature with what looks like a giant fly swatter.

There you are, trying to twist others to your will I see.” The lich spoke as he moved other to the Skull. “Don’t worry, I’ll be bring you back to your brother real soon. We’re going to a war, a war between displaced. You miss the blood and death don’t you?” Asphixias asked as the bug eyed creatures carefully set the skull unto the crate.

I do. Lyra heard as the eyes glowed green. Bring me souls for Lord Toruk, the dragon farthe-!

Not today sunshine. You're going home with me, and getting a few tweaks.” Asphyxious said as he held out a vial and poured it into the crate through the hole before the small creatures put the lid on and started nailing it shut. The Lich then looked at Lyra. “I told you to keep them safe…

“I thought you were talking to the changelings. You weren't looking at me you were facing the door.” Lyra lied.

“I see… well I guess I can forgive you. I thought we were under attack, turned out to be a portal being opened to the moon. Better take this home then.” Asphyxious said picking up the crate.

“Um, you’re not leaving already are you?” Lyra asked. I can’t let that thing get away! I’ve got to draw this out until after the fox is dead! “Maybe we can go back up to the palace and chat with the princess? Or you should at least tell her goodbye.” Come on take the bait.

Asphyxious turned back into his human form, and smiled at her. “Miss Lyra, are you asking me out on a date?” He asked smiling at her warmly.

“Um...no? I just want to get to know you being human and all.” Lyra said nervously. It’s not a lie. Once I’ve freed you of the fox’s influence I have so many questions.

“I’m sure we can do that here, I don’t mind staying an hour or two. I may even show you the more interesting part of my body, if you want?” Asphyxious said as he walked down a hall, with Lyra by his side. “If you really want to, you can join my hoard.”

“I...need an adult?” Lyra said nervously. Her sense of duty the only thing keeping her from running. Asphyxious purred at her, the sound alone made her blush.

“I am an adult.” He said smiling at her as he walks into a room.

...The things I do for my country. Lyra thought with a sigh as she walked into the room. Unwilling to let the crate out of her sight. Asphyxious was sitting on the crate, and wasn’t doing anything.

“So what do you want to know first?” Asphyxious asked, with a soft smile.

“Um..how about some nice twelve feet apart talking?” Lyra asked with a nervous grin. “Like, pants? What is there function?”

He laughed a little. “Oh come on, we’re adults. I’m sure we can talk about this like adults, now come over here and let's have a nice long talk.” Lyra’s ears folded back and she gave an audible gulp as she shook with fear.


Two hours later in the palace throne room.


“Excuse me princess. I was wondering if I could check up on my friend?” Bon-bon asked Rin much to the annoyance of the latest noble that thankfully wasn’t trying to get her in bed. Without a word or even taking her eyes off the chart she was being shown Rin waved a paw and a portal opened to the room she could feel had lives in it that weren't connected to her dungeon heart.

“Oh YES! Right there! Harder! Harder!” Lyra’s voice shouted out from the hole in the ground getting everyone's immediate attention. “Oh yes! You’re the best!”

“Wow, I didn’t know you’d enjoy this that much.”Asphyxious said in surprise.

“Lyra!? What are you doing!?” Bon-bon shouted in horror at the sounds.

“...It’s not what it sounds like!” Lyra called up through the hole before she jumped out of the portal and rushed to her friend. “It was just a back massage I swear!”

“Hehe, you ponies and your misunderstandings. Makes me laugh every time, it's true all I did was rub her back and ears.” Asphyxious said getting out of the portal with the crate in hand. “Thanks Rin, give me a call if you need anything.”

“Of course and same to you. And I wish you the best of luck with that thing.” She said as she looked down at the crate. Asphyxious then left through a portal with the crate in hand. No! Buck! Now how are we going to destroy that thing!?

“Um… princess. The new bridge?” The pony she was meeting with tapped the chart with his stick.

“Oh sure go on.” Rin said but just as he opened his mouth to speak the ground started shaking as a rainbow of colors shined through the windows. The throne Rin was sitting on started spinning around the room due to the vibrations. The noble picked up his chart and started running around the room trying to keep the chart in front of Rin as he continued to try and sell his plan. But Rin wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. She looked out a window she was passing and took on a look of fear.

Another portal opened up as Asphyxious walked out. “Sorry about that Rin forgot to ask you… What's going on?” He asked looking around at the mass panic.

Rin looked over to him with dread. “The goodlies stole the Elements! And they’re using them!”

Asphyxious then looked outside. “Oh the Elements, nothing to worry about then. They only affect anyone who's evil.” Ax said just as a building outside came crashing down and cracks started appearing on the walls. The sound of pained screams filled the air as six figures could be seen floating in a large rainbow beam of power that was shooting up into the sky. Their forms warping into unnatural shapes. “That’s not right...”

Palace Bash.

View Online


A short time before in another building.


The Crystal Heart sat on a pedestal in the middle of the room with six individuals around it.

“Oh wow this is so exciting! Are you excited because I’m excited I-”

“Bob please at least for this attack will you please stop talking!?” Trinket Sparkle complained.

“Are you sure this will work?” Strong Heart 2 asked.

“Yes yes as long as the Crystal Heart functions as it does in the stories we should be able to use it to turn the element's beam into a blast that will wash over the entire city at once.” Trinket Sparkle said with a wave of his hoof.

“Alright then let’s start the fire works!” Punch Line said excitedly. With a nod from the others they all began concentrating and focusing their inner magic through the elements and blasted the crystal Heart. Unfortunately for them the Crystal Heart does not work by simply storing up energy and sending it out in a blast like they had originally thought. Nor will it give off a large blast because the heart is just one part. The crystal city is built to work with the heart and without its inner workings the heart can’t project its energy such a long distance which means the only thing within range are the six using the Elements on it. Resulting in the energy being knocked back into the goodlies which will warp them further than trying to use the Elements by themselves.


“What’s happening to them?” Lyra asked as she watched in horror as their bodies were warped by the Elements.

“This is the second time I’ve seen someone not chosen to be an element bearer try to use them and the results are pretty much the same. I don’t know if it’s because their representation of each element is warped and the magic makes their bodies reflect that or if this is just what happens if someone unbound to them tries to use them.” says Rin.

“In other words, they're fakes. So their power get corrupted.” Asphyxious replied. “It would be like someone else taking Luna's magic and they turn into Nightmare Moon. The magic not theirs and it was not given willingly.” That’s not possible! Harmony obviously doesn't like Rin so why would she be unwilling to give the power to end her!? Lyra thought as she watched her comrades become...something else.

"Soo... Can I get this ring off my horn now?" Lyra asked.

“The fat one with the pink, glittery diaper on is Strong Heart 2. It looks like the Elements are turning him into a bio demon.” Rin said with furrowed brows as Strong Heart grew even fatter and horns grew out of his head. His fat quickly consumed his hind legs while his forelegs elongated. Even from here everyone could hear him cut one and what looked like a cloud of rainbow glitter puffed out of his backside.

“...Rin you have some fucked up enemies…” Asphyxious said as he pulled out his cutlass and looked at it. “Lich form?”

"Ring on horn. Still there."

“I know. It’s actually a fitting transformation. As far as I know the man never bathes. When I first met him he even had some kind of fungus growing between his folds of fat. And that might be a bad idea. If they think you’re normal flesh and blood they might think you’re no threat and that will give you the element of surprise.” Rin said as she watched the griffin get ridiculously skinny and his wings became more insectoid and started flapping them like a humming bird’s wings as his eyes got even larger and his beak twisted to look like it was in an everlasting massive smile. “That one looks like a fairy on crack.”

"If you're going to ignore me can you do it after you take the ring off?" Lyra asked in annoyance.

“Okay, well this will give me something to test some new spells on anyway.” Asphyxious replied, looking them over. “What the plan Rin?”

“Right Element attack starts with plan A-1 so first we… what are they doing?” Rin asked as she leaned in with a look of bewilderment.

“They appear to be splitting up your majesty.” One of the guards said.

“...why? They can’t use the Elements against me if they’re not all together.”

"I have the right to defend myself!" Lyra shouted.

“Maybe there covering a larger area, all they know is you’re here not where.” Asphyxious replied as he starts to walk off. “I’ll take one of them out, that should slow them down.”

"...Please?" Lyra whimpered.

“...okay. If they’re splitting up forget plan A-1. We just need to defeat one of them but I want all the Elements retrieved and returned to their rightful owners. All troops move into positions for plan C-1! Consider this an army invasion!” Rin called out as Asphyxious left the room. “Have all the enemies entered the palace grounds yet?”

“No your majesty the fat one is being prevented from entering the grounds.” One of the guards by the window reported.

“The guards are holding him off?” Rin asked.

“...not exactly.”


Meanwhile outside an irritated Strong Heart who had just literally dragged his plot over to fight the fox was glaring down at the stairs he would have to climb to go further on his quest.

“Hi, need a hand?” Asked voice from the top of the stares. It was Asphyxious, sitting there with a calm smile. “Or I could come back later?”

“I can do it myself.” Strong Heart said indignantly before returning to his glaring contest with the stairs.

“You know you have another 9 flights of stairs before you get to the top.” Asphyxious replied.”Well, I got to go, so see you later.” He said before walking off.


“Now where are the others, that slow one shouldn’t make it to far before getting to Rin.” Asphyxious said to himself walking down the halls.

“Stealthily our hero goes undetected as he sneaks through the rafters.” A voice said from down the hall. Asphyxious raised an eyebrow at this.

“Stop in the name of the law!” Another voice shouted out.

“Somehow the guards were able to detect the hero despite his skills. Was it luck at looking up at just the right moment? Or are they just that disciplined that they can detect even a moving shadow?”

“You’re narrating yourself moron!” One guard yelled out.

“What the fuck is wrong with this one?” Asphyxious said to himself as he pulled out the Butcher shotgun.

“Clearly the guards have gone mad as one of them is hearing voices that is narrating what I do. What untold horrors has the evil fox subjected this pour soul to to drive him mad?”

“I have found someone more crazy than me… I do not know how to feel about this.” Asphyxious then shot into the rafters. The shot forced a white earth pony in a purple tux to jump down. His pupils small black dots and the whites of his eyes were every color of the rainbow spiraling around like a whirlpool. His teeth elongated and crooked into a disturbing, forced smile that rivaled Cutup on the creepy clown scale. His body made longer like princess Celestia and his green mane and tail's erratic shape gave this opponent the twisted image of a ponifide Joker from Batman.

“I don’t know if I should find this funny or sad… Maybe both.” Asphyxious commented, on the odd pony. “So you’re what?”

“I am the hero that has slain countless evils with a smile.” The clown said before turning and spraying the guards that had just tried to jump him from behind with the flower on his suit before kicking them away. “They’ll be fine. It wears off in a few hours.”

“He..hehehehahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The guards started laughing uncontrollably. Unable to even stand let alone fight.

“But boy are their sides going to be sore!” He shouted out.

“I don’t get it.” Asphyxious replied blinking blankly at the clown pony.

“There was no joke there to get.” The clown deadpanned. “Our hero questions the intelligence of this strange creature pretending to be a human. Perhaps it is a failed experiment?”

Asphyxious just shoots at the pony again, interrupting him in the middle of his monalong. Forcing him to dodge to the side when he saw the weapon being lifted to aim at him. “I don’t really care, you guys are trying to hurt my friend. That means you're my enemy.”

“The poor creature is delusional in thinking the fox cares about its pawns. With reluctance our hero knows for the greater good he must destroy this sad experiment.” The clowns voice rings out from another hallway as a bag is thrown out releasing countless marbles that begin rolling towards Asphyxious.

He sigh at this and casts blizzard inside the hall, the halls were turned into a snow storm. As ice slowly covered the doors and windows. “You know I’m all for fun and games, but something about you lot pisses me off.” Asphyxious said as he walks along the frozen floor. BOOM! One of the marbles exploded under the ice sending shards of ice all over. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Come on don’t be that way! We can have a blast!” BOOM! BOOM! The blasts continues in a chain reaction taking out the floor causing it to fall into the cellar below. The strangest part was it was still snowing and getting colder.

“Ohh it’s still getting colder. Still alive out there? Well I’m just going to stay here and wait for you to show up!” Punch Line yelled out. “Though what the creature doesn't know is that our hero was lying. For our hero was too smart to stay in an environment that was just growing more and more dangerous to be in. While the foolish creature was playing the waiting game Punch Line will be long gone.” Punch Line narrated. His voice growing more and more distant as he talked.

Was that all?” Asphyxious voice asked next to Punch Line's ear. The lich slowly passed up through the floor drawing out his sword. “I have to say, I’m not impressed.

“Punch Line looks up in surprise. "Can this creature sense even our heroes stealthy movements? Or can it read his mind?” Punch Line asked.

Shut up.” Asphyxious growled as the air gets colder. He cast a spell that makes a wall of ice appear behind him. “I don’t need to read your mind, you're just a sad fake.” At those words a pie collided with the lich’s face.

“At last the creature reveals its true nature. Unbenounced to the creature that is no ordinary pie. Its cream is a powerful glue that will take extreme amounts of force to break and the pan is enchanted with magic nullifying runes. Even now the hero can feel the temperature raising.” Punch Line said as he pulled out a deck of cards and threw a few at the ice wall. Nullifying its magic and creating a large hole. The cards continuing until they embed themselves deep into the wall down the hall.

Asphyxious growled before changing forms again, into his dragon form. “I’m going to eat you.” Punch Line jumped back in surprise at this new form. Watching as the larger head forced the glue to tear off.

“....I’m going to need more props.” Punch Line said flatly.

“You're going in my belly!” Asphyxious roared as he opened his maw to eat the pony. As the mouth came down Punch Line did a somersault allowing him to dodge to the side as he used a hind leg to kick something into the dragon’s throat.

“Super ultra fast acting laxatives go!” He called out as strange noises came from the dragon’s bowels. Asphyxious just turned around and let loose a jet of flames at Punch Line. As a counter Punch Line tossed out more cards that nullified the magic fire long enough to get out of its path. “I’m already playing a few cards short of a full deck. Quit making me waste them!”

“You wasting them, is the only thing keeping you alive.” Asphyxious growled as he spits out a ball of bile. “That stuff you put in me didn’t last long.”

“...Wait you can’t move much at that size can you? Not in this hall. I was going to run and get some reinforcements but.” At this a ball rolled towards the dragon creating a cloud of pepper gas.

“Really? Gas… Please…” Asphyxious said as his body started to change it shape to better fit the halls. “Unlike you, I can evolve to better suit my environment. To make me a better hunter and killer. I don't think you noticed this but I have no eyes like this.” He said as he slowly walked down the hall to Punch Line. As drool drips down his fangs.

“I’ll give you this. You are the most annoying opponent I’ve ever faced.” Punch Line said as he tossed a decorative bomb that exploded into fireworks and tortuously loud sounds. Filling the air with a powerful stench of burning chemicals.

“Ha, you're nothing compared to Mask.” Asphyxious roared. Charging after Punch Line. Which surprised Punch Line as he had moved using the fireworks to cover his smell and the sound of his movements. What was at his former location was a box playing the tune pop goes the weasel that popped uselessly sending out small razor blades. In a moment of panic Punch Line threw all of his enchanted throwing cards. Several of them cutting into the inside of the blind dragon’s open mouth causing it to bleed from many cuts on its tongue and gums.

“Oh buck oh buck oh buck oh glue!” Punch Line shouted as he ran like he never ran before. Using the doors to small for the dragon form in hopes of escaping while the dragon was spitting up bloody cards. Asphyxious growled until he had an idea…


A cracking sound filled the air as a shadow wolf collided with the wall making it fall to the ground whimpering. A dragon following shortly after but thanks to his strong body he was able to get back up again. They had encountered a minotaur in shining armor that had been grown to unnatural proportions wielding a giant blacksmith’s hammer. Of all of them this one was the least changed by the magic they tried to use but the bulging muscles and the fact that his armor appears to have fused with his flesh making it look like he was made of metal was a bit unnerving. The lone black knight looked up in concern at the behemoth.

“Get back. I’ll handle this.” A voice called out and the Knight happily retreated as another minotaur of almost equal height in the black armor of Rin’s knights came in. Bloody Horns was once the leader of the minotaurs that had became the black knights and the other knights still considered him a second in command amongst them. Unlike the others he chose to wield a war hammer in place of a broad sword. “I’ve been itching for a fight. And it’s not every day I get to break someone bigger than me. Come on and fight me! The strongest of the black knights!” Bloody challenged. He was actually the third strongest under the twins that Rin kept as bodyguards but he would never admit that.

“It saddens me to see yet another of my own falling into the darkness. I shall make this quick.” Iron Hammer said as he brought his hammer down. But dragon bones are light to help dragons fly so dragonbone armor didn’t weigh the knights down much allowing Bloody to sidestep and bring his own hammer up like an uppercut knocking Iron’s head back and sending him back a few steps. “...or I can break every bone in your body.” Iron said as he rubbed his aching chin.

“Iron! I need backup!” I voice called as what looked like a twisted clown in a purple tux came charging in.

“A little busy here.” Iron replied as he and Bloody circled each other. The others that were standing back to watch the show including the shadow wolf that had just gotten a heal from Rin through the link were moving in to surround the clown. The clown looked around in annoyance.

“Our hero looks his opponents with a look that tells them that they are beneath him but secretly is concerned that he is almost out of props.” Punch Line said aloud causing everyone to freeze and stare at him.

“Are...are you narrating yourself?” The dragon asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Punch Line is sickened to find yet another who is hearing voices due to whatever madness the fox had brought upon her slaves.” Punchline said aloud.

“What was that!?” The dragon shouted in rage at being called a slave.

“...Punch Line. You’re saying that out loud. You really are narrating yourself.” Iron Hammer said in concern getting a confused look from his friend.

“I am? Are you sure?” He asked in confusion.

“I think his attempt to force use that element fried his brain.” The normal sized black knight said with a deadpan.

“I don’t care how crazy he is. Anyone who has the balls to call a dragon a slave is going to get cooked!” The dragon roared as he charged forward forcing Punchline to jump to the side and hit the dragon with laughing gas from his flower.

“That’s not going to affect a dragon long.” He mumbled as he pulled out a switchblade to finish the job but had to dodge the sword of the black knight. “We don’t have time for this. The fox has another slave stronger than these guys that we need to work together to kill.” Punch Line said as he nimbly dodged swing after swing. “Wooooo! Nope!” He shouted as he jumped out of the way of the shadow wolf trying to bite him in the butt launching himself up and kicking off the knight’s head to fly further while dropping a whoopee cushion between them that exploded into purple gas. The team of black knight, shadow wolf and dragon were put to sleep by the gas.

“Ha, now come on Iron we need to…” Do to years of working alone he forgets at times others don't carry around gas masks. “Great.” Punch said in a deadpan as he looked down at his sleeping comrade. Opening a window and airing out the room Punch line pulled a prop out of his pocket and strapped it to his hoof. “Sorry buddy but I got to do it. I’ll keep it at a non-lethal level.” He said before putting the joy buzzer to his comrade's hand. Iron shouted as he jumped up as electricity danced around his body. “They're down now help me kill this shapeshifter that-”

“Wait we need to prioritize the fox. Once she’s dead we can focus on her minions.” Iron said irritably.

“Our hero grumbles at his comrade's lack of intelligence.”

“...You narrated that.” Iron said with narrowed eyes.

“...No I didn’t. You’re hearing things.” Punch said nervously.

“Just come on. We need to keep moving.” Iron said as he he picked up the clown and charged forward.


“Then he was like no way and I was like yes way then he was like no way-”

“For the love of Faust SHUT UP! You’ve just been saying the same twelve words on repeat for the last five minutes!” Shouted a day guard as he chased the hopped up on friendship griffin that was shooting around the room like a humming bird.

“But this is an interesting story!” Bob exclaimed as he flew circles around the guards.

“We don’t care just surrender already!” Another guard shouted.

“Look out!” A voice called out forcing the guards to fly out of the way as a literal ball of lard rolled by them like a bolder.

“...Well anyways he was like no way.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”


“I don’t like this.” Iron Hammer said. “Where did all the guards go? It’s like something chased them off.”

“Maybe they found another of our comrades and gave chase?” Punch Line asked.

“Maybe.” Iron grumbled. A sword swings down and impales Punch Line in the back, the one holding it was Asphyxious.

Lovely day isn’t it?” The Lich asked before pulling his sword free of Punch Line’s back.

“No!” Iron shouted as he swung his hammer at the lich with surprising speed. Asphyxious was sent flying but didn’t fall, the Lich then looked at the damage to his body. Some of the metal rips were bent in and left a large dent. “Are you ok buddy?” Iron asked getting a groan from Punch Line

“I don’t think so.” Punch groaned.

Nice swing.” Asphyxious said calmly. “I could save his life if you want… All I want in return is the elements you have.” Iron looked up at him then back at Punch Line biting his lower lip. With shaky hands he took laughter off of Punch and generosity off himself.

“They can’t work without all of us anyways.” Iron said as he tossed them to the floor. “But if you’re trying to trick me I’ll kill you now. You had better save him. And I don’t mean making him into an undead!”

Don’t worry.” Asphyxious said as he picked up the Elements. “I’ll keep my word, just explain what happened to Rin.” With snap of his metal fingers he teleports them both to Rin. “I was never good at healing anyway, Better to leave it in the hands of those who do.


(Rin’s POV)

“With a flash the two arrived in the throne room.” Punch Line Wheezed. In no time at all Swift Blade was behind the minotaur and struck him behind the knees while her sister struck him in the head forcing him to fall backwards. Swift knocked the hammer out of Iron’s hand while he was falling and when he landed Unyielding was on his chest with her sword at his neck. The other guards quickly surrounded Punch Line and bound him in chains and searched him for any surprises.

“This one is severely injured!” One of the guards that was searching the clown called out.

“No! He said if we gave him our Elements he would save him! Said to tell you!” The minatour shouted.

I blinked in confusion. I hadn’t noticed before because the were still warped but they didn’t have the Elements. Looking at the Injured one I can see that he was run clean through. Luckily for him the damage to his organs were minimal and easy to fix. First I reset his bones that were pushed out of alignment by the force of the blow and stop the bleeding. Then carefully remove the blood he lost from his insides and finished it with a heal spell.

“There he’s fully healed. Now get them locked up and under tight security. If they can’t use their Elements then it’s time for some more pieces to enter the game.” I say as I create a portal and bring in some reinforcements.


The guards groan in pain as a unicorn mare in a tattered lab coat with spider like legs sticking out of her back with surgical tools attached to the ends stands over them. Her mouth looking like it was split open with how wide it is. Showing off razor sharp teeth. Her legs have also grown longer making her look taller than Celestia.

“Don’t worry You’ll be fine.You just need a few days to heal. Trust me, I’m a doctor.” She said sweetly. “Now I’m almost at the Throne room so I might as well check that place out.” She said as she walked along. As she came close to the stairs she shouted in surprise and pain as a long bony spike shot out and stabbed her in the chest before retracting with the same lightning speed that it had coming in.

“That was your only warning shot. I missed all of your vital organs and did minimal damage to your muscles. Relinquish the necklace and surrender now or I will do more permanent damage.” A raspy voice called out from the shadows.

“Oh.” Dr. Doctor said as she looked down at her wound. “Such preseason. I don’t even have internal bleeding. Very impressive.” Dr. said before bringing the tools on her spider legs down and in less than a second had cleaned and closed the wound. “But I can’t do that deary. Why don’t you come out of the shadows so I can help you. I promise there will be no pain.” The response was the spear stabbing her through the heart.

“Ouch! Stop doing that!” Dr. shouted as she scrambled back beyond the reach of the spear and quickly healed herself. “I must say this new form will be a large boon to my medical career. I wouldn’t be able to do this before.” A groan of annoyance came from the shadows as Claw the boneclaw moved out of his hiding place. “Oh my...I’m sorry dear but no amount of corrective surgery is ever going to fix that.”

“Spare me your jokes. That belongs to Fluttershy and I will return it. Even if I need to take your head with it.” Claw said in agitation.

“Hey we’re supposed to be taking them alive remember? Killing is a last resort.” Table Top said as he squeezed down after his fellow undead. Earning a groan from Claw.

“Oh another one. I’m afraid I don’t have much experience with the undead but I’ll to my best to end you as painlessly as I can. Okay?” Dr. said in a sweet voice like she was telling a foal she was going to pull the band aid off quickly.

“...But you’ll be surprised what you can live through.” Table Top replied flatly as he took his chains from his belt. Holding the large hooks at the ready. After a moment of the three standing off Table started swinging one of the hooks and sent it flying. He expected her to dodge but instead the spider legs moved up to block the attack. The force pushed her back as far as he let the chain go before grabbing the chain and pulling it back. Dr. however was holding on to the chains and used it to fly at the two. Claw lifted his hands up and shot out all of his claws impaling her in several areas but she focused on Table Top and with her spider legs quickly and cleanly severed one of his arms.

“Sorry about that sweetie but I just couldn’t reach your head.” Dr. said apologetically. Claw responded by having several of his claws rapidly retract and shoot out again in rapid succession. The mare grunted in pain and coughed up some blood but managed to grip the walls with her spider legs and pull herself away. Dizzily she got to work patching herself up to the point that she was covered in stitches. “Oh dear I think I’m suffering a teensy bit of blood loss.” She said woozily. Another hook came flying but Dr. was unable to block it thanks to the blood loss and was sent flying with the sound of bones breaking.

“That was for my arm!” Table shouted as he sauntered forward. Only for one of his legs to be cut off by those spider legs. “Claw...Help?” Table asked as he lay on his back. With a grunt Claw moved forward and using his long reach started cutting off the mares spider legs.

“Thank you for...how do you say it? Tanking?” Claw asked the corpse collector.

“%$#$! YOU!” Table replied. Without replying one of the bone claw’s claws shot out and went wight between the mare's neck and necklace before pulling it off.

“I don’t suppose you would be willing to stay here and guard the mare while I take the prize back?” Claw asked.

“Don’t you dare leave me here you he’s gone isn’t he?” Table Top asked.

“Yep” The injured mare replied.


“For the love of all things sacred stop talking!” Bob screamed as he tried to get away from the pink pony that was somehow keeping up with him by hopping! “And people say I don’t shut up!”

“Not till you give back what you stole mother bucker!” Rainbow shouted as she kept chase. A pair of earplugs in her ears.

“How do you even know what I said with earplugs!?”

“Twilight enchanted them to only block Pinkie’s voice!” Rainbow shouted back.


“Alllmmmoooossssstttt ttthhhheeerrrreeee. Yes!” Strong heart said with a huff as he made it up the last flight of stairs. In order to get it all out of the way now he went to a tower where the stairs go from the bottom all the way to the top. It meant no breaks between floors but it was worth it as far as he was concerned. He just needed a short break before continuing.

“Hi.” Asphyxious said smiling at him. “Wow, you made it.”

“I told you.” ‘Weeze’ “I can make it.” ‘Weeze’ “By myself!” Strong Heart said raggedly. “Who are you anyways?”

“Sadly I have some bad news.” Asphyxious replied with a big grin. “You're going back.” The lich said smiling evilly as he slowly poked Strong Heart. “Bye!”

“No! No no! No no nonononono-!” Strong Heart said as he struggled to maintain his balance but failed and rolled back down to the first floor screaming profanities the whole way down.

“I love being evil.” Asphyxious giggled to himself as he headed back to Rin to give her the two elements.


(Rin’s POV)

With the sound breaking glass the throne room was graced with the arrival of a unicorn with ethereal fur that showed spiraling galaxies and butterfly wings.

“Foul demon! It is time you’ve met your end!” The unicorn shouted with an echoey voice. All of the guards tried to attack him but he released a spell that sent them all flying with raw concussive force.

“Well… Somepony hasn’t had their nap today.” I say as I charge up a spell. The unicorn snorts and fires a blast but I had enough time to finish my energy eater shield. The blast hits against the dome and keeps going. If he wants to drain himself bashing against my shield I’m fine with that. I thought until I saw cracks forming in the shield. He’s breaking it faster than it can fix itself!? Swift and Unyielding move in from both sides while he’s attacking. Using one of the spells I got from Sombra’s books I sent my magic into the floor and guided it till it was underneath my attacker. Once the sisters jumped in to attack he surprised everyone by dual casting and sending out another shock wave while continuing the pressure on my shield.

After he knocked the twins away I completed the spell and black crystals shot up out of the ground forcing him to stop his attack and dodge to the side allowing my shield to quickly repair itself.

“Just surrender. You can’t keep this up forever.” I say with a deadpan.

“I don’t need to. I only need to keep this up until the others get here. Then you will be destroyed.” He shot back.

“You mean with the Elements of Harmony?” I asked with a smile.

“And what are you smiling about. I’ve already sent a magical signal to the others. They will be here soon.” The unicorn shouted.

“I doubt that.” The voice of Claw rang out from the entrance. The unicorn turned around and immediately focused on the jewelry it the undead’s claws.

“What? One of us has been defeated? Impossible! We have all been gifted with power by Harmony! There is no way one of us could have been defeated with the blessings bestowed on us!” He shouted.

“Not just one, but three.” Asphyxious replied smiling like a goon.

“We’re back!” Rainbow said as the came up the stairs. Applejack wearing her element of Honesty.

“Is Pinkie here I have a gift for her~” Asphyxious purred with a big smile.

“Oh! A gift!? I love gifts! What is it?” Pinkie shouted excitedly as she hopped up and down in front of Asphyxious. He then held out her Element of laughter to her. Pinkie gasped and jumped up through her necklace and bouncing around happily.

“I also have a gift for a miss Rarity.” He called out holding out the Element for all to see.

“Why thank you darling.” Rarity said as she took her necklace with her magic.

“...Fine. If not the Elements then a weapon of my own make!” The unicorn shouted as he pulled out a large stone with complex runes carved into it.

“Uncle Trinket?” Twilight asked in shock but before she could get an answer the stone exploded in a wave of energy and everyone fell to the floor unable to move. Including Trinket.

“...What was the point of that? You can’t move either!” I shouted from the floor.

“Well this sucks, and my nose is itchy.” Asphyxious grumbled.

“I may have a special talent for enchanting but my specialty is in energy disruption! Do you know how many nullification weapons I make on a daily bases!?. All of our energy used to move our bodies and even our magical energy has been nullified! But I bare the Element of magic and even as we speak it is replenishing my supply. Soon I’ll be able to cast spells and I can kill you that way before teleporting away and waiting for my mobility to return!” He gloated.

“Wait… What if someone else comes in?” Asphyxious asked.

“... Well it’s a gamble. I don’t need much time to OH BUCK BEES! Where did these bees come from?!” Trinket shouted as the swarm of angry bees I conjured with the conjure swarm spell I’ve been dying to try took effect. To bad for you my dungeon heart feeds off the magic of the land and uses some of that energy to refill my reserves faster when I’m low. Plot head. Getting annoyed with his screaming I used Sombra’s crystal spell one more time hitting him in the head knocking him out.

“...So anyone know any fun games we can play while we wait to be able to move again?” I ask aloud.

“Guessing games?” Asphyxious asked out loud.

“Oh! Oh! I spy with my little eye something that begins with F!” Pinkie called out.

“...The floor?” I asked.

“Oh you’re good.”


One hour later.


“Finally!” I shouted as I shakily get on my paws. Twisting my back and releasing several satisfying pops.

“Oh yes… Right there~” Asphyxious purred at the feeling returning to his body, as Pinkie rubbed his back.

“I still can’t believe that my uncle Trinket is one of them.” Twilight said as she took her crown back.

“I’m sure the families of many such people have said the same thing throughout history.” I say as I take everything else the guy had and bound him in chains as well as placed an inhibitor ring on his horn.

“By the way Ax what was it you came back to ask me?” I ask once the guards drag Trinket away.

“Oh right, I wanted to ask if you could babysit the kids for me. I’m planing to go out with the girls.” He replied.

“I’d love to. When am I looking after the little ones?” I ask with a smile.

“I’ll let you know, haven’t worked out a date yet.” Asphyxious said with smile as he opened a portal to go home.

“Hey wait! Aren't you guys forgetting something!?” Rainbow asked allowed while gesturing to her naked neck. “Where’s mine!?”

‘Weez weeze’ “When I get my hooves on that bastard I’m going to ring his neck!” A voice shouted out as the door burst open and a very sweaty bile demon ripoff literally dragged his plot into the room with a very dedicated janitor following close behind mopping up the fluids he was smearing on the floor as he dragged himself along. Rainbow immediately saw her necklace jammed up in Strong Heart’s pits covered in his pit sweat.

“Oh man! Are you kidding me? Why did it have to be mine!?” Rainbow Dash complained as she covered her nose with a hoof. Strong Heart ignored her and tore his gaze between me and Ax before deciding to get us all with his revenge. ‘Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!’ He filled the room with sparkle gas causing everyone to cough and wheeze at the stench.

“Oh, nasty!” Rainbow complained as she flapped her wings to blow the gas out of the broken window. “Wait...Oh no! It sticks to us!” Rainbow screamed as she smelled herself. I’d imagine Rarity would be complaining quite a bit if she hadn’t passed out. I conjure up a large black crystal before knocking him out too.

“What is that smell?” I heard from the other side of the portal Asphyxious made as it closes.

“Well... There's your Element Dash. Take it.” I say as I desperately tried to protect my sensitive fox nose.

“...Can I get a really long stick?”

What Do You Do With a Drunken Fox?

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"Finally it's time to clock out!" I say happily as Celestia and Luna walk up to me with their horns held high.

"Thank you for taking care of things while we recovered." Celestia said with a thankful smile.

"Indeed. Now take a vacation." Luna blurted out causing me to give her a confused look.

"Luna we were going to ease into it remember." Celestia said with a sigh.

"No need sister. Our way is much faster." Luna replied.

"Wait what?" I asked with furrowed brows.

"You've been working hard and have been stressing over us for long enough. You need a vacation." Celestia said.

"Preferably one that won't make you an easy target." Luna added.

"But the last time I did that you two were-" I started before Celestia cuts me off.

"If we are attacked again I promise we'll call you." Celestia held up my token. "But you have been getting more and more jumpy since you had to take over. Also that throne is evidence enough you need it." She said as she gestured to the now huge, pitch black diamond that I had to keep getting my imps to enlarge and I kept using to store all the dark magic that had been overflowing from my body. And that's the third one.

"I don't know." I say with my ears folded back. "Hello? Is this thing working? I tilt my head at this. Chrysalis?
Asphyxious said you can create rooms easily. Sister and I are calling to ask for your help in creating a proper Maiden's Hatchery.

"Is something wrong aunty?" Celestia asked.

"A friend is about to have kids and I'm being asked to help build a room for them." I answer getting a smile from the girls.

"You should go. Spending time with friends will do you wonders. And stay there a while longer. Burn off some stress." Celestia said with her winning smile. I just stood there and gave her a flat look and her smile vanished before she grabbed my in her magic and pulled me in until we were face to face. "You are going to have a vacation. Now." Celestia's tone left no room for argument.

"Ok." I relented causing her winning smile to return.

"Good. Oh and please remove that thing before you go." Celestia said as she gestured too the throne filled with dark magic. With a wave of my tails I sent it to my dungeon with the others before creating a portal to Ax's dungeon.


When I return I use my magic to send my new books to my room and open Squeaky's box to send her back to her doll house cage.

"Rin!" Squeaky shouted as she spring up like a jack in the box. Her tone and her face showed nothing but absolute seriousness like she had just discovered the meaning of life. "I can fold in half so my face can reach my fun zone!"

"...Good for you. You're going to need that seeing as I think I've finally burned through my pent up urges so I think I'm good till I go into heat again." I say with a deadpan causing Squeaky to give me a nervous look.

"And that would be?" She asked worriedly.

"Once a year."


Meanwhile in another universe.


"At last my brilliant plan is complete! With this I will turn that wedding into a-" Chrysalis began to say to herself when she stopped and her ears perked up at something that sounded strangely like a mouse screaming. "What is that?" She asked aloud as she sets her plans down on her desk and begins to search her room for whatever is making that sound. But she'll never find it.


Back with Rin.


"Ok that's enough of that." I say as I clamp her little mouth shut making her give off a muffled squeak. "Now you be a good toy and go back to your box. I'll play with you later." With that I sent her back to her home to chill for a while when I noticed Celestia standing near by and from the fact that she's blushing pink probably heard all of that. With here are Bon-bon and three other ponies I've never seen before and a young dragon in a red cloak.

"Oh great goddess Rin! Goddess of darkness! Please don't eat my soul!" The dragon shouted out as he began groveling at my paws.

"Oh thank mom, he's been doing that to me for the last half hour. Maybe you will have better luck finding out why he's here." Celestia said.

"I'm not going to eat your sou-" I begin to say before the dragon interrupts.

"For I am but a lowly slime ball that doesn't even deserve to grow under your toilet!" He shouted out.

"...ew." I say with a sour face.

"My soul so lowly that to touch it would be like using your mouth to-" He began to say before forced his mouth shut with my magic.

"Finish that sentence and I'll cast a curse on you that will torment you for one thousand years." I warn and he nods his head so fast that his head becomes a blur. "Now, why are you here?" I ask as I let his muzzle go.

"The great goddess Tatonya, goddess of earthquakes and volcanoes has requested your presents in her lair. And this unworthy wyrm has been blessed with the task of delivering this invitation!" He answered. Back in the day Faust would lend me out to the other gods when they had a dark magic problem and while most would treat me like a tool they borrowed Tatonya was very... friendly. More interested in friends to party with than worshipers.

"Ok. Does she still liv-" I started to say but backpedaled as he started licking the floor at my paws. "What is wrong with you!"

"Please get him out of here. Your arrival appears to have reset his groveling and I don't want him to get to the bad stuff again." Celestia said while giving the dragon a disturbed look.

"...Ok I'll just assume she hasn't moved." I say as I pick the dragon up with my magic and create a portal. Once on the other side I'm in a huge temple with statues of Tatonya all over the place. There were several dragons around in the same robes as the guy I dragged through the portal and dropped on the ground though they were considerably more dignified. "Ok now where was, oh there it is." I say as I walk towards a large set of golden doors.

"Yo Tatonya! You call for me?" I shouted out getting the attention of her worshipers in the room that were now looking at me like I just spit on their moms. Before they could do anything though the chamber started to shake and the massive pit in the middle of the room started shooting up a few gushes of magma.

"What did I say about letting that trash in here!?" A deep yet female voice called out as the mountain of scales rose up from the pit. Before I know it a giant hand comes down behind me making a wall before Tatonya brings her muzzle down, takes a deep breath and blows. The force of the wind picks me up and I crash into her hand and am left pressed against it by the force of the wind. No! Not the dragon breath! Over the howls of the wind I can hear the voice of that strange dragon growing more and more distant as he is carried away. Once she stops and I fall to the grown my fur is puffed up again and I get up while giving her a deadpan. Tatonya blinks once. Than twice. "Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Her laughter blows me back against her hand again so I grow myself as big as I can get so I'll be too heavy to use as a kite and am surprised that my max size is now at elder dragon. Still Tatonya is as big as the mountain Canterlot was built on so I can still fit in her hand which closes around me. "Leave us. I wish to speak to my fellow goddess in private." She orders her worshipers who promptly leave.

Using her powers she closes the doors and blast the room with some kind of energy that covers the walls. "That will keep the eavesdroppers from listening in." She said as she lifts me up to her level while using her free hand to grab a huge bottle that was hanging on the wall. Bringing it up to her mouth she pulled a giant cork out with her teeth, spit it out and chugged enough alcohol to make all of Manehattan wake up in a strange place married to someone or something they don't know.

"So... What was with that guy you sent to get me?" I asked her while trying to get comfortable in her clutches..

"Oh him? Dragon greed. He came in here thinking he could steal from my horde without me noticing so I taught him a lesson. I might have overdone it a bit and broke him. Probably should have stopped at the castration." She said calmly like she was talking about the weather. I cringed at that. No matter how nice or friendly a dragon is you never take from their horde what wasn't freely given. "So goddess of darkness hmmm?" She asked with an amused smile.

"That wasn't my idea!" I defend.

"I know. Good thing too because if it wasn't Celestia's idea you would have been destroyed by the other gods by now. Harmony pushed for you to be erased hard." She said with a grin before taking another chug.

"Am I in any danger?" I asked worriedly.

"Oh very much so yes. You have twelve hours to convince Harmony to like you or you're going to die." She answered with a nod and my jaw drops in shock. "Bwahahahahahahaha! Your face! I was just kidding you're fine. But she's pissed you survived that last attack when those guys tried to use her elements."

"...Very funny. You got me." I say with a forced smile.

"Always the good sport with a prank." Tatonya said with a smile. It helps that you could kill me by sneezing. "Now it's been over a thousand years. And I want to have some fun with my old friend. Here have a drink." She said with a huge smile as she brought the tip of the bottle up to my head and tipped in enough so that I can reach it.

"Oh um. I don't know if you've heard but a law was passed that states that I'm not allowed to get drunk so I try to not do it in this world. I did some crazy stuff with my magic back then and I've only gotten stronger." I say sheepishly getting a snort from Tatonya.

"I know I heard the stories. Besides you're not in Equestria anymore so that law doesn't apply. Besides do you know what my favorite thing about you is fuzzball?" She asked with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes as she opened her fingers enough so that she could grab my midsection between her thumb and index finger. "You're a fun drunk." With that I was pushed head first into the bottle and I quickly push my forelegs out to try and stop myself from falling when she let me go but then I felt her giant finger press up against my butt and I was pushed the rest of the way in. I fell screaming up at the finger as it pulled back out of the opening before splashing down into the drink that burned the inside of my nose and throat. Once I broke the surface I coughed and wheezed before looking up at the amused eye looking down at me through the opening.

"he-hay! Let me... Let me out!... Ohhh this is some 'hick' Some strong stuff." I said drunkenly.

"Sure thing." Tatonya said with mirth as her eye moved away and the drink I was in started sloshing around as the bottle tipped over and I could see a dark cave with pink walls in the opening where the current was taking me. Loading, loading, done.

"Ahhhh!" I shouted as I tried to swim away resulting in guzzling down more of the drink. Drunk doggy paddling however can't win against the flow of a river and I was soon moving through a tight hole and landing on a something warm and squishy. Feeling me land on her tongue she stopped her gulping and the flow stopped as the bottle moved away and the light was completely shut out when Tatonya's mouth closed. "Th-this isn't better!" I complain. The cave shakes as the dragoness chuckles before I was crushed against the roof of her mouth and held there as she gulps the drink that was still in her mouth before opening wide and plucking me out and holding me just above her muzzle.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Tatonya asked teasingly.

"...boop." I say as I boop her nose.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!" After her laugh she set me down on a smooth platform before chugging again. When I tried to get up my wet paws caused me to slip and fall on my stomach. I blink in confusion for a moment before I get an idea and a large grin appeared on my face.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I cry out as I slide across the marble platform on my tummy. Tatonya chuckles at my antics and stops me with a finger before giving a gentle flick sending me sliding the other way. But it doesn't last as I lose too much moisture from my belly fur which allows me to stick to the floor causing me to tumble for a while. "Hey Tata!" I shout out making Tatonya squirt some of her booze out of her nose at the nickname I had just made up for her. "You know what we should do? We should go adventuring! Let's get out there and have some fun!" I shout out as I create a portal but didn't pick a destination and stumbled into the darkness.

Tatonya looked down at the hole that was too small for her as is disappeared. "Oh... She's loose..." Tatonya thought about this for a moment before bursting out into laughter again.


In a Fallout Equestria universe.


I pop out into a city that looks like a dump filled with ponies. Strangely half of the buildings look like they have been converted into prisons filled with other ponies wearing strange collars. Suddenly everything went quiet as everyone looked up at me with bugged out eyes.

"Keep moving you stupid little bitch! Slaves that disobey get-" The pony that had just walked out of a building dragging a mare wearing socks and a collar had shouting stopped as he looked up and saw me. Slave... Loading, loading, done. Bad ponies! Seeing this injustice in my drunken state I do the first thing that comes to mind to punish the bad ponies. I start singing!

"D is for destruction, you slavers I'll destroy!" As I sang this out I lift up my fore-paws Trixie stile and fall back into a building crushing it. "R for revolution a monster I'll deploy." I focused on a point on the ground and cast my spell creating a ring of fire. The slavers temporarily forgot about me and focused on the potential new threat.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" The red demon was fast asleep so I helped him by bopping him on the head with my giant paw. He snorted as his glowing, yellow eyes opened and he looked up at me. "What?...Wait I've been summoned!" He shouted excitedly as he jumped to his hooves with his staff in hand and bashed it on the ground making it open into a scythe.

"U is for unavoidable, The slavers meet their end!" Understanding the order Horny focused on everyone not wearing a collar and charged forward. This is when the first slaver regained full use of his brain and shot at the charging demon with an assault rifle. The bullets bounced harmlessly off of Horny's skin and before the pony could get away the scythe came at him in an upward swing sinking into his stomach and right out of his back lifting him up into the air. Horny just stood there for a moment bobbing his weapon up and down and enjoying the pained gurgling of his first kill in a long time before it died.

This shocked everyone out of their stupor and they went all out on Horny who swung his scythe like a catapult launching the body into a pegasus pony that was trying to snipe him, before running at a group and with a clean swing got a six for one special. "N is for nerves system, to tell you you're in pain" A griffin garbed a mare by the collar and tried to use her as a meat shield but it wasn't very effective because she was held in front of him and a scythe is normally used to swing from the side. Not that Horny would have cared who he kills but he'll focus on the target he was given before hunting anyone else "K is for karma, we all reap what we sow." An earth pony used some keys to quickly open a cage and lock himself inside without checking what was in it. All too late did he realize that it held no slaves but a deathclaw that was captured for the arena matches. "My name is drunk Rin and I'd like to say...hello."

"Hello." A voice called up and I look at some slaver ponies led by a unicorn pointing some weapons at me, including rocket launchers from a balcony on the next building just under my head. "Now call off the monster or We'll blow your head off." I blink down at this a few times before snickering like a foal.

"Your cutie mark is a doughnut." I said with a snicker.

"It's a target now drop the act! There is now way you can be as drunk as you pretend to be and come up with a song that-" Whatever he was going to say was cut off as I throw up on them. This washes them back inside where one apparently fired a rocket launcher because there was an explosion and that part of the building collapsed. After that I just curled up inside the ruined building and got snugly. What was I doing again? I thought to myself as I smack my lips a few times and realize I had a bad taste in my mouth. Oh. I must have been looking for mouth wash. I get back up and see the commotion going around. Horny was enjoying himself killing a city's worth of slavers and some ponies in ugly rags were helping other ponies in ugly rags get collars off and out of cages. With a shaky paw I snatch up a pony in ugly rags and bring him up to my face.

"Hey buddy. Know where I could find some mouthwash?" I ask and he quickly covers his nose as my breath washes over him.

"A museum?" He guessed aloud. I give him a confused look before picking up a cage and repeating my question to one inside. "That's a deathclaw." The pony in my other paw said with a deadpan.

"It is?" I asked as I took a closer look at the bloody mess inside.


Back in the dungeon. Inside the Zoo.


Crocodile was just finishing feeding the animals when a cage materialized over an empty enclosure and came crashing down smashing open on contact freeing a large horned monster with sharp claws that began running around its new home. Crocodile tilted his head in confusion for a moment before shrugging and throwing live chickens in. "Welcome to your new home. You're just in time for chicken. Even though it looks like you already had something to eat."

Some of Rin's minions that were close by rushed in to see what the noise was about when they saw Rin's latest pet. "Relative of yours?" A black knight asked Claw.


Back with me.


I gently set the pony back down I created a new portal in hopes of completing my quest for mouthwash and jumped in only to come out in a much nicer city that looks like Tokyo only everyone has those bright pony colors. Unlike last time the reaction was immediate and all the little humans started screaming and running into buildings to hide.

"Hmm... Now where is my mouthwash." I ask aloud as I search around until I spot a store. "Hey! I know you have mouthwash in there. Bring me your mouth washes!" I shout into the small building causing the people to start throwing out bottle after bottle.

"Hold it right there evil monster!" Twilight's voice rang out and I look up to see the Equestria girls version of the main six in Sailor Moon co-splay standing on telephone polls. The arrival of the local heroes causes several people to come out and start recording with there phones. "You think you can terrorize these people and steal their...mouth wash?" She asked in confusion so I give her an answer by sharing my breath with them.

"Ewww! Sailor sun just let her take the mouth was!" Rarity complained.

"We can't do that! We need to stop this giant monster before it steals any love energy for the evil queen Chrysalis! For we are the Sailor Scouts and in the name of the sun we will punish you!" Twilight shouted out as she pointed a magic wand at me.

"You know what else you are?" I ask her as I can barely contain my laughter. "You're Standing on telephone polls over people. And you're all wearing skirts!" They all give me confused looks before looking down at the people that had come out to watch.

"...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" They all scream as they all fall down landing upside down causing their skirts to fall open except for Pinkie Pie who landed on her feet.

"I see London I see France!" I sang out making the girls jump to there feet. "You know what they say girls." I say with a grin. "What happens in cosplay, stays on YouTube!" Looking around they saw a lot of guys quickly pushing buttons on their phones in a mad dash to upload what they had just recorded.

"Stop them!" Rarity shouted in a panic causing the others to move quickly to destroy the phones. While this was going on I picked up a bottle of mouthwash and grew it in size before using the entire thing. Sloshing the minty goodness in my mouth before spitting it out in the closest thing I had to a sink on paw. A convertible.

"Thank you." I say with a smile as I cast the conjure gold spell to pay for my mouthwash and create a new portal. Just as I was leaving I could hear the cheer of a nerdy sounding guy proclaiming himself king for his victory before it was drowned out by his screams of pain.


I came out of my portal in what looks like a country side. Grasslands and trees as far as the eye can see with the exception of a dirt road.

"A giant shiny ninetails!" A voice rang out behind me. Turning around I saw Trixie wearing a vest and a red and white hat. She also had a belt on with one pokeball on it. "The great and powerful Trixie is going to capture this pokemon for her team! Get ready to battle! Squirtle I choose you!" She shouted as she tossed a ball out releasing a small turtle.

"I accept your challenge!" I reply as I shrink back down shocking the Trixie. "And for my pokemon I choose Trixie!" I call out creating a portal and bringing my Trixie into this world. "Trixie use psychic!" Both Trixies just looked at me in confusion but trainer Trixie looked like her mind was about to shut down. Sighing I call a time out and pull my Trixie in and whisper into her ear what I want her to do and what the moves mean.

"...You're drunk again aren't you?" Trixie deadpanned. I give her what I'm sure is a winning smile which she takes as a yes and walks back over with a sigh. "Trix, Trixie. Trix, Trix, Trixie." She said in a defeated tone. Unwilling to argue with her drunk boss. At this point trainer Trixie managed to shake herself out of her stupor.

"Now use bubble beam!" Trainer Trixie called out causing the turtle to shoot out a stream of bubbles. Once it hit my Trixie she scrunched up her nose adorably and started waving her fore-hooves in an attempt to keep the bubbles from popping on her face.

"Now use psychic Trixie!" I shouted out and Trixie used her magic to lift the turtle up into the air and smashed it against the ground a few times before letting it go.

"Squirtle no!" Trainer Trixie shouted out in an over dramatic fashion causing my Trixie to raise an eyebrow at her counterpart. "Use water gun!" The water type then spit out blast of water which my Trixie was very motivated to avoid the spit attack.

"Trixie!" My Trixie shouted in a panic as she ran around trying to avoid the water.

"Trixie use doubleteam!" I shout out and Trixie's magic fires up creating illusory clones of herself running around at random. The squirtle stopped its attack to look around in confusion. "Now mega kick!" The Trixies all came in and in a show that would make Applejack proud spun around and gave the small turtle a swift buck sending it flying a short distance and face planting. Shakily the squirtle got up again before falling backwards. Its eyes replaced with swirls.

"Squirtle return!" Trainer Trixie called out as she hit the little water type with the beam of her ball. I almost snort when trainer Trixie pulled out a pokiedex and tried to scan her counterpart.

"No data found." The robotic voice answered back. Trainer Trixie blinked a few times as her brain caught up to what just happened. In the excitement of the battle she had been running on autopilot.

"Hey! The great and powerful Trixie doesn't know what tricks you're pulling but you will be Trixie's!" Trainer Trixie shouted out as she threw a pokeball at me. However my Trixie used her magic to stop the ball mid air and sent it flying back at her counterpart and smacking her in the face with it. The pokeball opened wide on impact and turned Trainer Trixie into red energy and sucks her in while leaving all of her things behind. Everything fell to the ground and the pokeball that had just captured Trixie wiggled around once, twice, three times, 'click!' I stumble over and pick up the pokeball and raise it over my head dramatically.

"I just caught, a Trixie!" I call out happily.

"Great...Can we go home now?" My Trixie asked. I was about to answer when something shiny caught my eye.

"Oh shiny! I want it!" I shout as I look longingly at the object on the ground behind the tiny bush. "Trixie use cut!" I command pointing at the bush.

"Trixie has no cutting spells." Trixie said.

"But I want that shiny thing! If you can't use cut I'll catch a pokemon that can!" I proclaim as I pick up the bag of empty pokeballs that the Trixie I just caught dropped.

"Or...You could walk around the bush. There's plenty of room." Trixie said as she walked in a circle around the bush to prove her point.

"No I need to use cut to get through! Come Trixie we start our pokemon journey! For the shiny thing!" I call out as I march down the road.

"Wait no! Look Trixie has the shiny...whatever this thing is here just please let's go!" Trixie shouted before groaning, grabbing the ball with the small turtle in it and giving chase.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuYeHPFR3f0

"Wooo Now let's get the shiny!" I call out as I send out a pokeball to free my bellsprout. "Now use cut!" I order and the pokemon cut the bush in two. "Hey where is the shiny?" I asked sadly as I searched the ground.

"Trixie has been trying to tell you for the last three hours Trixie already got it!" Trixie yelled at me as she dropped the discarded bottle cap on the ground at my paws.

"Really? I could have sworn you were just screaming loudly." I say with my head cocked to the side.

"Of course Trixie was screaming! In those three hours You've managed to turn a city into a city of the undead by blasting an entire graveyard with your magic. You've started some kind of revolution where some of those monsters are catching ponies now. Oh and speaking of those monsters every bucking time you saw one you made me fight it screaming about XP!" Trixie shouted angrily before taking in a deep calming breath. "Just...lets just go. Please." Trixie asked while hitting me with puppy eyes.

"Oh ok." I say as I return my bellsprout and create a portal.


Once we came up through the portal We were surrounded by mountains and a well crafted stone city off in the distance.

"...We're not in our world right now are we?" Trixie asked with a deadpan. Before I could answer we heard the sound of a kid screaming nearby and we quickly jumped into action. We soon found what looks like a short and stout boy with fire red hair being attacked by what looks like goblins. Moving fast I cast the Swarm spell creating a swarm of angry bees to distract the little green monsters while Trixie and I get close.

"Run kid we'll handle this! I proclaim as I use the turncoat spell on the goblin with the nastiest looking weapon who then turned on his comrades and attacked. Trixie took this time to pick up the weapons the goblins dropped and started knocking them out from a safe distance with the blunt parts. It didn't take long for the remaining goblins to decide they didn't want to stick around and took off running. "Come on Trixie let's loot the bodies!" I shout out as I start digging through the pouches on each goblin. While I was doing this I could hear the sound of armored boots running our way and turned to see a group of dwarves in armor wielding comically large war hammers and battle axes moving in to surround us.

"That's them dad." The boy from before said from behind one of the dwarves. That very dwarf marched forward and looked me right in the eye.

"So you're the one that saved me boy?" He asked gruffly through his thick beard. Taking his eyes off me for a moment to glance at the downed goblins.

"Yep!" I say as I grab Trixie and pull her into a hug.

"It was no problem." Trixie said from my clutches. The dwarf nodded and gave the two of us a crushing hug.

"Come! We need to thank our new friends with a true dwarven welcome!" The dwarf called out getting a cheer from the other. While some stayed behind to make sure that the goblins were dead Trixie and I were carried into the city and into a large hall that looks like it was built for the soul purpose of throwing parties and food was already being placed.

"These guys work almost as fast as the pink one." Trixie said as she looks around. "Oh well this is fine. You're getting more and more sensible as time goes on. We can wait here while you finish sobering up... Rin. What are you drinking?" Trixie asked me as I gulp down from the barrel with dwarves around the room cheering me on. One of the dwarves turned to Trixie with a huge smile on his face before answering.

"Dwarven Ale!"

K-9 Power!

View Online

Cruger was overseeing the repairs to the Delta Base. Grumm’s debut had caused a lot of damage to the surrounding area, and several dozen people were injured, luckily there were no fatalities.

Fetch came over with a damage report, “All teams are reporting that repairs are ahead of schedule. Assuming that nothing else happens, repairs will be finished by the end of the week.”

As soon as those words left his mouth, a hole opened up in the earth and four crystal pillars shot up around it. Out of it walked a nine-tailed fox, who looked extremely drunk carrying a resigned looking Trixie in some of her tails.

“Fetch,” Cruger said, “for invoking Murphy, I’m docking you 1 vacation day.”

“Yes sir,” Fetch replied remorsefully as he walked off.

“Ohhhhh. Look Trixie it’s a dogfish!” The fox said as she pointed at Cruger with a paw.

“Yes, yes this world has the diamond dog equivalent of the sea ponies.” Trixie said in a bored tone. “Can you put Trixie down now? And perhaps this time you can go through this world without raising the dead?”

“Look at the big dog house! Let’s go see what’s inside!” The fox shouts as she runs into the base through a hole in the wall.

“Oy, get back here!” Cruger called, chasing after them. When he got inside he found the fox with her back to the ice tea dispenser with her head leaned back with her mouth wide open letting the sweet tea poor into her mouth. Trixie just hanging there in the fox’s tails with a plate in her magical grasp eating a slice of pie like nothing was happening.

“So,” Cruger said, “Displaced?”

“She is.” Trixie confirmed. “And Trixie would like to apologize in advance for any pranking, raising of the undead, property damage, Unwanted hugs, or wedgies that may occur due to Rin being drunk off her plot. We’ve been world jumping for a while now and those are the most common things she does. She’s normally not this bad but… Trixie has learned to fear the effects of dwarven ale.”

“Unless you’re a dwarf of course,” Cruger said, “so, want some help?”

“Trixie would appreciate th- oh here we go again.” Trixie shouted as Rin took off into the hallway taking Trixie with her. When Cruger ran out the same door there was no sign of anyone there.

“Well then,” Cruger said to himself, “we’ve got a drunk nine-tailed fox of significant magical power running around my already damaged base. I’d ask how things could get any worse, but I am not a stupe.”

“Help!” called someone from deeper in the base. Cruger rushed towards the voice to find the Walker twins with their pants down and their naked butts super glued to the ceiling. What looked like a fox’s face drawn by a five year old marking their foreheads.

“Really?” Cruger said. The Walker twins had no comment. Cruger sighed as he went over to a wall panel. “Attention,” Cruger said over the intercom, “we’ve got a drunk Displaced in the base, extreme magical power, looks like a nine tailed fox and is carrying another verse’s Trixie. And send a member of engineering to section 1-14, with a ladder.” With that, Cruger went to find the fox, after snapping a picture of the Walker twins.

“This is Steam Gear, the fox is in the R&D department! Requesting immediate assistance! Oh dear Celestia not tha-!” The voice on the intercom cut out with a popping sound. “That...is not how you use the chicken gun.” The voice of Steam Gear wheezed.

“The fox has just entered the Runner Bay! She has grown into a giant and is painting the Delta Runners!” A Flare Blast said over the intercom.

Cruger facepalmed, “Teleportation, perfect.” All of a sudden, he grinned, “It’s a good thing she hasn’t tried anything to me yet.”

“Wait! She’s gone! And all of the Runners look like glorified clown cars!” Flare Blast shouted in anger. Looking around Cruger waited...and waited. When he was about to move on he felt a tug at his leg from a rope that was suddenly tied to it which dragged him into a nearby bathroom and stopped when he was in front of the stalls. He was only just barely warned of what was about to happen by the beeping sounds coming from inside the toilets before the water erupted from them like a row of geysers. Just before the water came down Cruger teleported out of the room. Out in the hall an invisible fox dropped her scrying spell with a frown.

“What’s going on? Normally you’d be laughing by now.” Invisible Trixie asked from the fox’s tails. Rin didn’t answer but turned around, to see Cruger standing there, sword on his shoulder.

“So,” he said, “are you going to stop with the Discord impersonation, or do I have to beat you until you reached the ‘passed out’ stage of being drunk?” Rin froze before slowly raising her head to look up at the displaced.

“Challenge accepted!” Rin called out before a hole opened up in the ground and she jumped in. Her invisibility melting away as she fell through.

Cruger jumped in afterward, finding himself in Ponyville. “So, you thought you’d be safe coming here?” he asked.

“Beep beep!” Rin shouted. Hopping with each beep before blowing a raspberry and cast the haste spell on herself before running down the street.

“Very well.” Cruger said before taking a deep breath, “PINKIE!!! THERE’S A NEW DISPLACED IN TOWN!!!”

“Where!!” Pinkie said as she ran up to him out of nowhere.

Cruger pointed, “By the way, she’s a little drunk, so we need to get her to sit still until she sobers up so she can enjoy her party.”

“Don’t worry,” Pinkie said as she pulled out her cannon, “I’ve got just the thing.” She fired the cannon, launching a barrage of tranquilizer darts, every one of which hit their mark.

Cruger looked at the aftermath, “Do I want to know?”

“Well, since that Grumm meany pants is turning nice ponies into giant monsters, I thought I’d find a way to help,” Pinkie explained. Rin and trixie just finished rolling painfully across the ground from Rin losing her balance at super speed. Both fox and pony groaned in pain as Rin tried to get up but her wobbly legs made it impossible.

“Ahh, ahh…. Achooo!” With that sneeze Rin fell over and pulled Trixie in to use as a teddy as she fell asleep.

“...Trixie is too tired to care.” Trixie grumbled before laying her head down and following the fox into dream land.


The next day. (Rin’s POV.)


“Ohhhhh… My head. What happened.” I groaned as I got up and look around at the unfamiliar room I’m in. The room looked normal enough except for the steel door and the strange things all over the floor. “What?” I asked aloud as I pick up a piece of old looking paper with what looks like a kid’s drawing of Horny with a friendly smile in crayon with the words ‘angel of mercy' written at the bottom. “...If Horny saw this he would tear his way through the multiverse with the power of his rage to kill everyone on the planet this came from.” I groan as I collect everything on the floor with my magic and send it to my dungeon. I can tell by how stretched the connection with my heart is I’m off world but I can feel one minion near by. Using my sight of evil spell I can see Trixie in what looks like a cafeteria sitting with a blue dog man. With a grunt I create a portal to that location and walk through and sat next to the blue unicorn.

“Welcome back.” Trixie said making me groan again.

“Head hurts. Talk quieter please.” I request as I cast the create imp spell and send it to get me water to rehydrate. “What happened? I remember something about pokemon… Then we saved a dwarf kid and we had a party but nothing after that.”

“Well after you managed to drink an entire barrel of dwarven ale. By the way you are now an honorary member of the Iron Hyde clan for managing to drink all of that and not pass out. You let slip that you were royalty so the leader came down and got wasted for what the dwarves called drunk politics. Which they insisted was far more effective than regular politics and you entered a trade agreement with them and gave the head dwarf your token so you could find them again.” Trixie said with a wave of her hoof. “You’re now trading spider’s silk and gems for dwarven crafts.” I sigh in relief that I’m only trading what I can produce myself indefinitely.

“That’s impressive,” said Cruger, “I’m not sure even Luna could negotiate a trade agreement while drunk.”

“Well apparently the dwarves refuse to negotiate anything unless all parties involved are drunk.” Trixie said with a shrug. At this point my imp returns with a plate filled with glasses of ice water and I quickly took one and started drinking.

“Ok. So I made a great deal trading for the two things that I could never run out of. What next?” I asked after I finish my glass.

“After that you healed a cut on a dwarf that fell down with your necromancy and that led to talk about something called a lich in the area that was attacking travelers to create an undead army and you, me, and several dwarves formed a party and attacked its tower. While the dwarves and I fought its minions you snuck off and found something called a phylactery and sucked all the magic out of the soul inside and that killed the lich.” Trixie said before taking a bite out of her lunch. “After that we split the treasure then you took the lich’s spellbook and had your imps raid the lab and library.”

After hearing this I close my eyes and focus on my room which is the most likely place I would have sent a lich’s spellbook and see a book I don’t recognise on my bed. So I grab it with my hand and drop it into my paws before opening it up.

“What are you doing?” Trixie asked.

“Hoping against hope that a lich would have a cure hangover spell.” I grumble.

“Be careful. Who knows what kind of evil spells are in that thing.” Trixie warned.

“... The first spell in this thing is summon harem…”I say with a deadpan.

Cruger facepalmed, “I do not want to know.”

“...Trixie does. And more importantly can Trixie cast it?” Trixie asked with hopeful eyes.

“It’s not dark magic so yes. According to this it summons a large number of magically constructed slaves. They can be any race the caster chooses and they come out naked and the embodiment of beauty for whatever race and gender the caster chooses. They do whatever the caster wants and how long they stick around depends on the strength of the caster. Man Asphyxious would kill for this spell.” I say before shrugging it off and flipping through the pages. “Expeditious retreat, stone skin, create undead, these are all D&D spells...What’s the point in making it rain blood for two days?” I kept searching till I found something that might help and I grab my now empty glass and cast the spell. “Ohhhh that’s so much better. Thank you liquid pain.” I say as droplets of a strange glowing red liquid started appearing in the cup. “Now I just need to keep this up till I’ve fully rehydrated.” I say before downing another glass.

“A healing spell?” Cruger asked.

“Liquid pain takes the pain of the one it’s cast on away and turns it into a material to boost the power of my spells or to use for enchanting. Or if you’re dumb enough to drink it a potent and highly addictive drug. In the game it takes one full day to make one bottle of the stuff. Probably because of how slowly this glass is filling up. This is great. I’ve pushed my necromancy studies and now there is no better healer on my world than me because of it. But stopping pain was something I could never do before. This was a lucky find.” I say with a happy smile. “Oh sorry how rude of me. My name it Rin. What’s yours?”

“Call me Cruger,” Cruger said. “So, forgive me if I’m totally and completely wrong, but based on that little spell you did, I’m thinking, Dungeon Keeper?”

“You mean the create imp spell? Yes I’m dungeon keeper Rin. A pleasure to meet you. So what are you from exactly?” I ask before downing another glass.

“Power Rangers SPD,” Cruger replied.

“Oh. Haven’t seen that since that Z guy showed up. When the weakness of his guys turned out to be the big Z emblem on their chests I just stopped watching after that.” I say in an apologetic tone.

“Don’t worry, the cheese doesn’t last forever,” Cruger chuckled.

“Anyways after that we left that world and wound up in some kind of multidimensional shopping mall.” Trixie continued.

“Did I buy anything nice?” I asked.

“You did buy one thing.” Trixie confirmed and she took a remote control looking device with one big, red button on it out of her hat and set it on the table in front of me.

“What is it? Some kind of calling button for a giant robot or something?” I ask her.

“Just push the button.” Trixie said in a bored tone. I lift my paw up and press the button. The device made that charging up sound as electricity arcked off of it. It had that ‘going to explode’ look about it and I back up away from it. Cruger generated a small forcefield around it. POP!

“...is that?” I ask in wonder as I looked at the steaming lump in front of me. “A muffin button!?”

“Yes.” Trixie said in a deadpan as she looked at the device.

“Well then,” Cruger said, “I know what Derpy would like for Hearth’s Warming.” As soon as the shield was down I picked up my muffin and happily started munching on it while sending my button to my room.

“After that we just jumped from world to world, several of which you now have cults worshiping you, until we got here. You know some of the people that work here are still finding the surprises you left around the place during your drunken pranking spree.” Trixie deadpanned. “These guys are cops and they don’t need distractions like ungluing plots from ceilings or dealing with toilets yelling at them when they’re trying to use them.” Trixie chastised.

“I’m sorry.” I say with my ears folded back as I give Cruger the puppy eyes.

“You were drunk off your rear, I won’t hold it against you” Cruger said as he placed a slip of paper on the table, “that said, as an officer of the law, here’s your fine.”

“Quick question. Are gems valuable here?” I ask as I look at the distressing number of zeroes on the paper.

“Depends on the type,” Cruger said, “by the way, they’ll be worth more if they have magical properties.”

“I was talking about regular gems. Or are you talking the kind best used for material components and enchanting? If that’s the case will these do?” I ask as I use my hand to grab a large number of diamonds, rubies, sapphires and emeralds and dropped a huge pile on the floor stacked taller than Cruger. “Those are great for spells.”

Cruger counted off a few gems then handed the rest back, “Consider your fine paid. So, what’s going on in your verse?” I sighed in relief as I sent the rest of my gems back.

“Well aside from a fanatic group obsessed with killing me because of my dark magic? I’ve been hunting this guy that’s working with them but so far I can’t find the bastard. You see in my world I’m Celestia’s and Luna’s aunty and when I was off world he attacked them. Tortured them even. Broke their horns off and literally skinned them alive only to repeat the process again and again as they regenerated. When I got home I had to use my magic to put their organs back in the right places. It burns me that no matter what method I try the Juggernaut remains hidden. In fact I should get back to my world and start looking again.” I say as I look up at Cruger.

His face was contorted in a rather scary looking frown. After a few seconds, he released it, “Sorry, I kinda raised my Verse’s Celestia and Luna, so you saying something like that happen to them just… well let’s just say you should be very happy you’re not him.”

“Trust me I know. What I wouldn’t give to get that guy.” At that moment I felt my token being used. Umm aunty. He’s back and we can use some help here. I jump up and create a portal back to my home world. “Thank you Murphy! Trixie come on the Juggernaut is attacking again!” I shout as I jump into the hole.

“Oh buck me.” Trixie groaned as she followed.

“Oy, mind if I give you a hand?” Cruger said.

“Mite as well we can use all the help we can get.” Trixie said before passing through the hole in the ground.


Back at the palace in Rin’s world


I come out to a once more trashed palace grounds followed closely by Trixie and Cruger and we all had to dodge to the side as Discord came flying by.

“Discord’s out? How much did I miss?” I ask before my attention was drawn to the behemoth that was walking towards me carrying a sack on his back. “Trixie go hide.”

“Ok.” Trixie said timidly as she vanished in a puff of smoke.

“Oh goody. The fluff ball’s here. I’m glad you could make it. I’ve already got a coffin made just for you with the perfect lining for you. Even used what was left to make myself a blanket. What do you think?” Juggy asked as he opened his sack and pulled out a poorly stitched together blue and white blanket with Celestia’s and Luna’s cutie mark sprinkled around it. “Nice pelts don’t you think? I cleaned them myself.” Juggernaut said in a taunting tone.

“Self control Rin. Self control.” I say through clenched teeth. I create a portal and using my magic bring the gun in but I almost fall over when it fell into my paws. What? Why is it so heavy all of a sudden? I think to meself.

“Well, well, well,” Cruger said as he walked through the portal, “so, you’re the one who hurt the Diarchs so bad?”

“What you want my blanket now? I do a better job as sewing than I thought.” Juggernaut said as he folded the blanket made from my girls pelts before putting it back in his bag. “Now step aside blue boy. This is between me and the fuzzball.” Juggy said as he marched forward.

“No,” Cruger simply said, “now, I’m giving you one chance to explain your actions. Depending on your answer you might walk away from this with your dignity.”

“Nothing to explain. I just felt like doing it.” Juggernaut said as he got down on the ground like a football player and shot forward.

“Very well, kiss your dignity goodbye. SPD Emergency! Breach Mode!” Cruger was enveloped in a flash of light. As Juggernaut reached him, a large mechanical fist punched him on his left side and knocked him off course, if just slightly, sending him running through a wall. The light died down to reveal that Cruger was now encased in an impressive set of power armor. “Now,” Cruger said, cracking his knuckles, “unstoppable force, meet immovable object.” The wall next to Cruger exploded outwards as the Juggernaut crashed through it and grabbed Cruger in a hug as he barreled through the next wall and the wall after that before coming back around and throwing Cruger at me like a missile forcing me to catch him in my magic.

“So much for unmovable.” Juggernaut said as he ran at us. “Credit where it’s due though. It takes a lot of force to make me change directions.”

I have only one shot at this. I think to myself as I lift my gun and try and take aim. BANG! Juggernaut slowed to a stop as he slowly looked down at the hole in his stomach. A growing look of incomprehension on his face. Crap. I was aiming for his heart.

“Stand down,” Cruger said, “I’ve got this, gravity anchors just take too long to charge, need to fix that.” With that, the boots of the power armor expanded, revealing various components that glowed with a blue light. “Round 2, dumb dumb.”

“H-how?” Juggernaut asked as he looked at his own blood on his hands.

“You’re too reliant on your invulnerability. You never try to dodge or block anything. Now surrender. If my friend here doesn't take you down in your weakened state I have five more bullets with your name on them.” I lied. I was hoping that he would take my bluff and raise his hands in surrender but instead from the look in his eyes I can see something else. For once in his life the Juggernaut had to take his fight seriously. Quickly grabbing the ground he ripped out the floor and tossed it at us before running at us again only instead of a straight charge he sacrificed speed so that he could react if he saw me lift my gun again. As he came in to punch Cruger I lifted my now much lighter gun and Juggernaut tried to duck low and keep the other displaced between himself and me. Even if the gun is empty he doesn't know it so I can still use it to influence the fight. I thought to myself. Juggernaut threw a punch at Cruger in an attempt to send him flying at me to knock me down long enough to get close to me. Cruger grabbed the fist before it could make contact, then delivered several blows to his helmet putting a few shallow dents into the metal.

Juggernaut grunted and grabbed Crugers arm back before pulling him taking a large chunk of the floor that was still attached to the displaced feet spinning Cruger around and tossing him through a wall before taking cover in the entrance to another hall huffing and wheezing. “That...Shouldn’t have taken so much effort.” Juggernaut said between pants. “What happened to my strength?”

“I’m impressed,” Cruger said as he walked out, “I was basically connected to the planet’s surface and you could still throw me. I’ll have to take a look at the data later, but I think it’s time to end this.” With that, several lasers emerged from his gauntlets and fired at Juggernaut's helmet.

“...We’re on the top floor of the palace, not counting the towers. How can you do that without being pulled down through the rooms below?” I asked as I backed away while keeping the gun fixed on the hall the Juggernaut is heading in. Unable to see what’s happening with that beam. But I can hear the Juggernaut grunting in pain.

“Really? Huh, maybe I just connected to the bit I was standing on, enough talk though, time to end this.” With that, he shut off the beams. Walking forward, he grabbed Juggernaut’s now red-hot helmet, and yanked it off. “I don’t suppose you’d mind ending this? Assuming you have any form of telepathy of course.” I attack his mind with everything I have but all I’m getting is cries of pain.

“Celestia! Luna! I could use some help in here! I’m not very good with mind magic!” I shout out as Juggernaut gets up and starts running away while holding his head. “No, no, no!” I shout but before the giant could get away Celestia teleported in and added her own assault of the mind. As the titan fell to his knees Luna flew in and as the strongest amongst us with mind magic put him down.

“Where were you?” I asked them as they glared down at the Juggernaut.

“Evacuating the area.” Celestia said as she lifted Juggernaut in her magic. “We have a cell made just for you.” Celly said to the unconscious giant.

“You do?” I asked in surprise.

“Of course. Considering what he’s done in the past it would be foalish not to find a solution to deal with him once defeated. Didn’t you think of something?” Celestia asked as she looked down at my gun before looking at the wound on the Juggernaut.

“...Yes.” I say as I send the gun away.

Celestia gave me a disappointed look before walking down the hall. “Come. We can talk more once this criminal is put away.”

“About that Celestia,” Cruger interjected, “I said that I’d take away his dignity, and I’m not quite done with him yet.” Celestia stopped and looked back at Cruger. “I have a set of magic damping manacles,” he continued, pulling them from a portal, “the people should see that he’s been defeated. By the way, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna need to borrow a sturdy wagon with a crane mounted on it, a team to pull it, lots of chain, and a set of baby clothes that’ll fit him if you want to be really mean.”

“Yes let’s do it sister!” Luna said excitedly.

“I don’t know. It sounds dangerous. Even if I were to agree to this it will only be if all three of us were there to take him down again should he wake up.” Celestia said with concern.

“I still don’t see the problem, be good for the populous to see you three there, triumphantly leading the procession,” Cruger said, “besides, did you not see me curb stomp him five minutes ago? And that was my first time in Breach Mode. To be honest, the main reason I left him for you to finish him off was so that you three could get some closure.”

“...” Celestia looked back at the man that had skinned her and her sister not long ago.


“Why must I wear a dress?” I asked sourly as I sat in my mobile throne next to my girls as we were being driven down the street right behind the Juggernaut who was hanging limply from the steel, magically reinforced arch attached to a wagon made from the same materials for the cheering ponies on either side of the road.

“It’s just for the parade just grin and bear it.” Celestia said while she waved at her little ponies.

“Cruger gets to wear something cool” I grumble as I look over at the blue dog man who walked next to the Juggernaut’s waggon. He was in his dress uniform and sporting a shiny new medal. Though I must admit that it’s amusing how all of the children in the crowd were calling him Mr. Dogfish. In his hand was an air cannon, which he was using to launch candy at the crowd.

“Thank you our little ponies! And give an applause to Mr. Dogfish! Who fought so bravely while helping us bring this villain down!” Luna shouted out. Taking great amusement at Cruger’s new nickname.

“Dogfish! Dogfish! Dogfish!” The crowd cheered for the hero. Cruger responding by sending an extra sour batch of candies directly into their mouths. “THE NAME’S CRUGER!”


After the parade we all moved to the airship dock and moved to a nearby mountain. Once inside the cave near the top we went through steel door after steel door and guard after guard till we reached the center of the mountain where a powerfully enchanted ring was placed on the Juggernaut’s head.

“We enchanted this ourselves to to keep him asleep.” Luna boasted before the Juggernaut was placed in a room carven into a perfect circle.

“This one was my contribution.” Celestia said as she activated the complex set of runes that covered the walls creating a powerful and controlled gravitational pull in the middle of the room making the Juggernaut’s sleeping form float out of reach of the ground and walls.

“And you’re sure this will hold him?” I ask.

“The sleep spell is the most powerful we could create. He can not leave if he can not wake up.” Luna replied.

“And even if he did he can’t touch anything to move. So we should get plenty warning should he awake.” Celestia added. "Besides I can tell that he lost almost all of his magic during the fight. Can’t you take what’s left?”

I look up at the Juggernaut’s floating form. Trying to gauge his power.

“No I can’t.” But exposing him to that bullet just a little longer will. Just as soon as my imps find it.

“If it helps,” Cruger interjected, “I happen to know the most effective sealing spell, period. It contains the target in a pocket dimension, then siphons their magic to sustain it. If you want I can add it to the mix.” Celestia looked him up and down before glancing at each other.

“If you can do it without messing with the magic keeping him asleep.” Celestia said.

“No problem,” Cruger said, “stand clear.” We all stepped back to watch. Cruger brought out his morpher and held it out. “Juggernaut, you are charged with assault on royalty, terrorism, torture, attempted murder, and various other charges, face your Judgment.” Cruger said. With that, he pressed the button on the top, causing the front to flip open revealing a red X and blue O that flashed in sequence.

“Why is that device flashing between the X’s and the O’s like a game of roulette?” Luna asked in a tone of confusion.

“Safety feature,” Cruger replied, “this particular spell is hard-wired so that it can’t activate without a guilty verdict from a Judgment Scanner. And before you ask, a Judgment Scanner takes thousands of data points, ranging from surveillance footage to forensic reports to the suspect’s body language to deliver a 100% accurate determination of the suspect’s innocence,” the Scanner stopped on the X, “or guilt.” With that, Cruger flipped the morpher closed and pointed it at Juggernaut like a remote. “Confinement!” A beam of white light shot out from the Morpher and enveloped Juggernaut. When the light faded, all that was left was a metallic card. “There we go,” Cruger said as he picked it up and handed it to Celestia, “should have mentioned it also makes transporting them a breeze.”

“...wait. This world has no surveillance tech, magic or otherwise. Info will be in hard copies and you were never near them. And the Juggernaut was in a forced sleep so no body language. What was that thing using exactly to decide he was guilty?” I asked as I look at the card.

“Well, there was the built in camera and voice recorder in my uniform,” Cruger said as he pointed to the gold bar on his uniform, “the security footage when we talked about him, plus the lie detector spells with the footage, the fact that the Judgment Scanner can use hard copies, plus if all else failed it could have looked at Jug’s Acastic Record, which it didn’t need to anyway.”

“Okay then. Thanks for the help. I feel like I should give you something for your help. Want to come to my dungeon? You can pick out some gems, or if you would like some spider’s silk. Stronger than steel. Bet engeneering would like to work with that stuff.” I say while creating a portal.

“Why not,” Cruger said, “might be interesting.”


In the dungeon.


We came out in the room where I kept the shrunken changelings in their tank. Looking down at them one of them was right at the edge making faces at us by pressing her face to the glass.

“Just give me a moment I need to receive the regular welcome home greeting before we can go anywhere.” I say as I walk over to the door and wait.

“Do I want to ask?” Cruger said.

“Just my dog. She can always sense when I get home.” Just as I said that the ground started to shake from Sasha’s running. I didn’t need to wait long before I was pinned down by the giant pup and getting a thick layer of drool coating my body as all three heads bombard me with puppy kisses. “Ok, ok Sasha that’s enough! I’m glad to see you to.” I say as I use my magic to lift her off of me and set her down to me left. I get off and try to shake off as much drool as I could wile Sasha moves over and starts sniffing Cruger’s butt.

“Back off.” Cruger said as he moved away. All three of Sasha’s heads tilt in confusion before they apparently come up with the idea that he wanted to go first so they turn around and lift their tail and put their but his his face.

“Ahahahahahahahaha!” I laugh at the look on his face. “That’s so sweet. She’s trying to make friends with you!”

“It was bad enough when I was just being mistaken for a Diamond Dog,” Cruger said, “Sit!”

“Wait don’t she...why would you tell her to sit when she had her butt hanging right over your head?” I ask the pinned ranger before picking my dog up with my magic. “Sasha I’m sorry but I think this one is going to be a grumpy doggy. Why don’t you go play with your shadow wolf friends.” I say as I send Sasha back to her room and drop some shadow wolves in with her. “You going to be ok?” I ask Cruger.

“I am going to need to do a WCS simulation when I get back to reassert my masculinity.” He replied as he got up.

“Ok, well come on you can take a look at my products and take what you like.” I say as I turn and walk down the hall. “I hope you don’t have a fear of spiders.” I say as we enter the spinner room where my giant spiders were busy spinning rolls of silk for me. “Go ahead and take some.”

Cruger examined some of it, “Rather nice looking, comfortable to the touch, nice tensile strength, I think I know what the new dress uniforms will be made of.” With that, he grabbed a few bolts and placed them in a small portal. “So, let’s see, smacked down Jug, paraded Jug, confined Jug, got reimbursed for confining Jug, all that’s left is for us to exchange Tokens I think.”

“Ok. And if you need any more spider’s silk for your uniforms just give me a call. Selling these things is how I make my living and you’ll get the friends and family discount.” I say as I paw him a mini dungeon heart. “Oh and quick question. Have you been in your office yet since I went on my drunk rampage?”

“I am suddenly very nervous,” Cruger said as he handed me a badge. “By the way, think you could do me a favor?”

“Depends on the favor but probably. As for your office… Check under your chair before using it.” I reply with a nervous grin.

“Got it,” Cruger nodded, “as for the favor, please for the love of all the ancient alicorns make sure they get my name right. I am Anubis Cruger, Commander of Space Patrol Delta, not Dogfish.”

“...Nightmare!” I shout out causing the wraith like creature to appear. “There are some ponies working on a statue of this guy for the hall of heroes. I need you to give them a message to change the plaque for me.” I say as I conjure up some paper and a quill and write down what Cruger said. “And please be quick.” With a mock salute it grabbed the parchment and took off. “There that should do it.” I say with a smile.

“Thank you,” Cruger said, “well, see you later. By the way, you teaching at Beacon?”

“Beacon? No I don’t teach. Well I did teach this one displaced how to safely wield the darkness. Dark magic is my thing. That and being a trickster. Why do you ask?” I ask him.

Cruger shrugged, “Just curious, I’ll be teaching there and wanted to see if we’d be working together.”

“...Ok, what is this school about and why did you think I would be a teacher?” I asked. “What are you teaching anyways?”

“You seemed like a Displaced that knows what they’re doing,” Cruger replied, “as for my subjects, I was thinking engineering, battlefield or otherwise, tactics, and advanced combat techniques.”

“...A school for displaced? I guess I can check it out. Now that I think of it didn’t Asphyxious say something about becoming a teacher? Anyways how do I find this school?” I ask. Who knows they might have something for me to learn as well.

“It’s in a verse that’s filled with RWBY Displaced,” Cruger said, pulling a coin out his pocket, “this Token belongs to a guy named Sun, he’s the one who thought of it in the first place. If you want, I know a duplication spell.” I nod and hop up and down excitedly as he uses his magic and I take the token.

“Thank you. I’ll look into it soon. Now I should look into what other damage I did while drunk and I’m sure you have things to do so Cruger our contract is complete.” I say aloud.

. . . . . .

“...Oh ya I never summoned you. Can you find your way home on your own? I asked the still present displaced.

Cruger chuckled as he drew his sword, “No problem.” Slashing at the air, he opened a portal that he stepped through, “Hope to see you there when it’s done.”

“See ya later!” I call out before the portal closes. “Alright let's see.” I say aloud as I use my powers to search my dungeon for anything new. ...I have a death claw?... Hmmm oh that room is full of stuff. At that thought I use a portal and go to what was once an empty room now filled with random things from the multiverse. “Hmmmm Oh sweet pokeballs!” I say as I pick one out and toss it only to be surprised by what comes out.

“...It was so cramped in there.” Trixie whispered as she lay curled up on the floor.

Level Up!

View Online

"...What is she doing?" Twilight asked as she stared at me from the corner.

"Casting a new spell she learned." Trixie answered. "Trixie was told it takes an hour."

"This is so boring. I came down here hoping for some entertainment." Discord complained. "Normally I don't do this but I'm going to read ahead a little to see if this gets interesting." After saying that Discord summoned some printing paper and started skimming through them making my right eye twitch but I maintain my focus on the spell.

"Oh, oh she moved!" Pinkie exclaimed as she pointed at my eye. "Is that part of the spell?"

"No that was because I broke the fourth wall." Discord said dismissively. "Like you and me oh pink one she has fourth wall awareness thanks to her involuntary trips to the void. But unlike us she pushes it out of her mind and doesn't use it because she has this fear that when her story ends she will stop existing."

"Oh, okay!" Pinkie said as she started bouncing around me.

"In fact when someone starts talking about it she actively ignores them. And if the person persists in talking about it she will grow more and more agitated." Discord continued while giving a troll face. Literally his face turned into the troll face for a moment.

"What's the fourth wall?" Twilight asked in confusion.

"Oh nothing you should concern yourself with Twilight. It's just something that can make Rin violent when she keeps being reminded of it. She even has this one nightmare about it called the ducky dream." Discoed continued until Pinkie stuffed a cupcake in his mouth.

"We're not talking about this any more." Pinkie said in a matter of fact tone. "Keep this up mister and I'll tell Fluttershy you were bullying Rin!" Pinkie said right to Discord's face.

"Oh alright fine." Discord grumbled as he leaned back while folding his arms. About this time the room was filled with a sound like tape being torn off and everyone looked down at the floor in front of me as my shadow pulled itself off the floor while absorbing the onyx gem I was holding becoming a 3D copy of me only it's all black like it was a hole into the void. "Oh! A shadow clone!" Discord shouted out while wearing an orange jumpsuit. "Double the fun!"

"Oh! Make more! Make more! Oh! Make one of me!" Pinkie shouted excitedly.

"But do it later! I don't want to wait an hour for another one." Discord said.

"I only have one shadow." I deadpanned while pointing to the ground showing them that I was no longer casting a shadow. "And though I can do it to your shadow without sacrificing memories with the create shadow creature spell it would only last twenty four hours and will still take an hour to cast. Anyways this is my new assistant." My shadow gave a bow to my guests in greeting. "There are some other spells I would like to cast in this book as well except most of them require material components I just don't know how to get it this world. And getting them in the world they came from isn't much easier."

"Assistant? Does that mean it's as smart as you? You should bring it over to my place and we can play some games some time. No one else I know is smart enough to play a good strategy game against." Discord said as he poked my shadow.

"Hay!" Twilight complained.

"She outwitted me allowing Celestia and Luna to blast me with the Elements. And anyone who can outwit me is an unbeatable tactician. She trapped me with a plan so cunning, so ingenious that it would topple even the most brilliant minds!" Discord replied in a matter of fact tone getting everyone to look to me questioningly.

"I just distracted him by making farty sounds with my pits." I say while putting my right forepaw under the pit of my left foreleg which I flapped like a bird's wing a few times to demonstrate.

"How are you doing that!?" Discord demanded as he teleported over to me.

"That relay is a good question. Anatomically speaking I shouldn't be able to. What with the shape of my paw making it impossible to hold the air and even if it could there is all the fur in my pits making it so it would leak out through the gaps instead of making skin smack skin." I admit.

"...I think you just refuse to admit you lost to someone who isn't a super genius." Twilight deadpanned at discord.

"Your point?" Discord asked.

"Why are you all in my dungeon anyways?" I ask them.

"To invite you to the Discord isn't evil anymore slash stop the big meany slash made a new friend party!" Pinkie answered.

"Spike wanted to hang out with dragons to learn more about them and I wanted to just learn more." Twilight answered. Seeing as Spike wasn't around he must already be at the lava pool where my dragons like to hang.

"Fun." Discord answered. "Also Fluttershy is here after Trixie, the one with the red and white ball as a cutie mark not the one from this world, told her about those fun little animals you brought back when wand Trixie took ball Trixie around Ponyville. You know you relay need to get one of them to change their name if you're going to keep them both or it's going to get very confusing very fast. And not in the good way."

"And Lyra came with us because she said she was bored." Twilight added.

"And where is Lyra?" I asked getting a shrug from the others. With a huff of annoyance I close my eyes search my dungeon and am surprised to find her in the library sneaking around. How did she get there? It's not possible to get from the portal to the palace to the library without going by an alarm trap and she's not my minion. So how did she get in there without setting one off? I open a portal to the library and use my magic to pick up Lyra and pulling her into the room I'm in. "So... What were you up to?" I asked the floating mare.

"Oh, well, I was just exploring. I did a lot of that back at the palace and wanted to check this place out. By the way I never saw any walls like the ones here in the palace. Was that hole some kind or portal? Where is this place? Also... how did you know where I was?" Lyra asked raising my suspicions. First she sneaks past my alarm traps which isn't easy to do and know she wants to know my dungeon's location? Ya, no.

"Sorry but I just can't let you wander around like that. It's dangerous and I don't want you getting hurt." I say and Lyra frowns at my answer. "As for where we are I can't tell you. It's a secret."

"Oh...I see." Lyra said sadly.

"As for knowing where you were Equestria's magic kicked in and started playing spy music while you were sneaking around so I just followed that." I say getting a strange look from the green unicorn with a deep frown.

"Oh don't be sad. I'll send you somewhere you can safely explore all you want. I'll pick you up later when it's time for you to go back to being with Bon-bon." I say with an encouraging smile as grab her and shrink her down to toy size in my paws. Before she could register what was happening a create a portal and i stick my upper body in and put her someplace safe until it's time to send her back.

"Well I have a few important things to do today. You're welcome to watch but please don't interfere. I actually think you'll enjoy what I need to do next Discord." I say before focusing on my dungeon heart to make an announcement through the links to my minions. "Attention everyone. I will now be holding tryouts for the rank of epic. The promotion comes with increased pay, private quarters and a custom made weapon. Those with the rank of epic will be commanders expected to lead missions. All those interested in taking the test raise your hand hoof or claw." I call out and search around my dungeon with my above view and picked up anyone showing they want the job.

"Wait where did you send Lyra?" Twilight asked.

"Just a little place called Toy Town. No worries she'll be fine and I'm sure she will have lots of fun." I reply in a reassuring tone.


Toy Town.


"Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!" shouted the toy Pinkies as they played. Lyra saw pinkies racing. Pinkies jumping on soft bouncing things. Pinkies riding on carnival rides. Even Pinkies launching themselves across town using a giant jack in the box. In her opinion... It actual looked like a fun place. Except for one small problem.

"Too, many, Pinkie Pies." Lyra said with an eye twitch as she turned and tried to run out of town only to crash face first into an invisible wall. "What?" Lyra asked aloud as she studded the wall. "glass? Enchanted with an illusion to make it look like the sky." She grumbled. "I really need to learn how to teleport. This is just great. I'm now stuck inside a town of living toys of Pinkie! How could this possibly get any worse!?" Lyra shouted to the sky angrily before her eyes widened in horror. "No! I didn't mean it!"

After shouting that out Lyra looked around in a panic waiting for something to happen. She didn't need to wait long when she heard a donging sound like something struck the glass followed by a loud click as the sky opened up only a giant head to poke in.

"Oh no." Lyra whimpered as the head pulled out and a leg came in followed by another as the intruder climbed in and let herself drop. "Oh no you don't!" Lyra shouted as she scrambled back just barely managing to get out of the way as a giant diapered butt came crashing down where she was just standing. "Sit on me once shame on you. Sit on me twice shame on me!" Lyra shouted only to draw the attention of the giant baby who looked down at her with curious dragon eyes. "...I should probably be running right now."

Lyra gave a startled squeak and took off running when the baby reached down to grab her. Lyra's panic grew when she heard the playful giggles and the giant hoof steps echoing off the walls as she turned a corner. As she was running she looked back at all of the toy pinkies flocking to the changeling baby excited about the new playmate. With a sigh of relief Lyra ducked into an alleyway thinking that the toy Pinkies will make the titanic tot forget about her. When she stopped to catch her breath she felt something soft clamp onto her left butt cheek and she turned to see a toy wolf attacking her but its stuffed body made its attacks harmless.

"Hey back off buddy. Only Bon-bon can bite me there!" Lyra said angrily as she gave it a good buck sending it flying into a wall with a squeak. With a nod Lyra turned back to see that the only way out was blocked by two large hole filled legs and a white poofy diaper where they met. Before she could register this a glob of drool splashed down on her back and she looked up at the giant smiling face of the young changeling.

"Oh come on! Those Pinkies were begging to be played with. Go play with them and leave me alone!" Lyra pleaded only to be answered by the baby reaching for her again. With quick reflexes Lyra dodged to the side and moved to jump through one of the holes in the legs blocking her path. Quickly the baby reached down once again to grab Lyra but again Lyra dodged and jumped through a leg hole to freedom...Only to stop dead when she was half way through.

"What?" Lyra asked as she wiggled about in an attempt to get free only to realize with dread that she was firmly stuck. At that moment she was tipped over as the baby got up and sent on a wild ride as the child started running around. "I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut!" Lyra proclaimed as she closed her eyes and just tried not to lose her lunch.


"Welcome to the arcade!" I announce to the applicants as I gesture to the room. It's not done yet but there is enough to do the tests. Most of the games here are actually enchanted with the same magic the comic book industry is using now combined with scrying magic so that those outside can watch. These video games will be used to train in a controlled environment without consequences but now they will be used to see if you have what it takes to be the best!"

"What do you think this room will attract?" Discord asked as he looked at the games I have at the moment.

"I don't think it will attract anything. It's just for training and for fun." I answer dismissively.


In an undisclosed location.


Slowly a pony in a dark robes carrying a sword twice his size on his back moved through the shadows with stealth. The brave knight had just learned that the one he was in service to was planning to poison him today and he didn't have long to escape. Luckily he could hear the call of a new master in the air and all he had to do was get out of the territory of the evil queen. He was almost the the main gate of the castle when the dreaded evil queen stepped out in front of him. She towered over and looked down at him disapprovingly.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked him.

"I know of your plan to poison me dark one! But I say thee nay!" He said as he lifted his sword to get ready to fight. "I hear the call of my new dark lord! Stand aside or I will be forced to smite thee!" His queen just rolled her eyes at this before grabbing him in her hooves and picking him up. "So be it." With a mighty swing his sword cut through the air and struck true right on the queen's head. SQUEAK!

"Button Mash you are going to eat your Brussels sprouts whether you like them or not. They're good for you." She said as Button repeatedly bopped her on the head with his toy squeaky sword before she got annoyed by it and took his weapon. Desperately Button struggled but he was no match for his mom as she carried him to the dining table where the steaming green doom awaited him.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"


Back with me.


I had just tried to test the room with a forced link to see it it would attract anything and only one link went out. Figuring that if I want whoever it is it will happen on its own when it's finished I cut the connection and turn back to my minions.

"Obviously the most important part of this job is the ability to lead the troops under you efficiently. So the test will be putting all of you in charge of your own fortified towns with townspeople and troops to command. You gain points by taking the flags from other players which can be found in the town hall in the center of each town. If you don't lose any points you will only need one flag to win. Don't worry about the other players you can't hurt each other in the game. You lose points for each death of your people. Ten points per fighter. Twenty points per adult citizens and one hundred points for a child citizen. Though if you or any of the forces under you kill a citizen even if it's from another player's town you also lose those points." I say to the crowd.

"That's stupid! Who's going to attack the citizens if you lose points too?" One of my dragons asked.

"You'd be surprised how easily it can happen when a battle takes place in a populated area. Now everyone on the pad next to the game. It might need to take a few loads to get all of you." I announce causing my minions to push towards the white platform. After a few green smoky twisters sucked all of the minions in I moved to the arcade style game next to the pad. Alright time to play. I'll give my minions some time to adjust first before I throw them a curveball." I say aloud as my guests move in to watch as well. "Wait where is Pinkie?" I ask when I notice her absence. I got my answer when one of the little towns on the screen started rocking back and forwards with confetti and balloons coming out of it. "...Never mind."

"This is amazing! Do you have any idea what this kind of magic could do for training law enforcement and rescue workers? That is if it truly is an environment without consequences." Twilight said with stars in her eyes.

"Yes...That's why I have them. Weren't you paying attention?" I asked her while watching the screen making Twilight blush in embarrassment. "Looks like most of them are failing already." I say as I watch armies moving out of their towns and converge on one spot in the middle of the map to fight one giant battle. Can't say I'm surprised. They were mostly dragons and black knights. Strong fighters but not much for tactics. I thought to myself as I zoom in on the ones left.


In the game.


Swift Blade had rushed up the wall around her town when she heard the sound of a massive force charging off in the distance in worry that she was being attacked before she could Finish assessing the strengths and weaknesses of her troops and fortifications but quickly calmed down when she saw that most of the other players had just sent out what looks like all of their troops into one giant free for all.

"Well at least we have plenty of sitting ducks to choose from." She said as she got back to work. "Let's see. The ten with the giant crossbows are snipers but have a slow reload time. I'll take two and leave the rest on the tallest buildings and give them some cover. I'll take five archers and put the rest on the walls. And and the warriors... I'll take ten and have the rest block key entry points and man the cannons on the four towers at each corner of the wall." As each of the troops moved to their posts she turned to address her citizens. "Attention humans of... yellow town! For your own safety I need you to move to your homes and lock your doors!" She shouted out getting no reaction from the town's people.

"Excuse me miss you need to get out of the streets." Swift said to a woman who only responded by clapping. "...Is that a yes or..." Swift asked before the woman walked a short distance away. "Now you're clapping at a bush. That's not helping anything." Swift said as the woman moved on to applaud a nearby outhouse.

"Pl-pl-please go away! You have no idea how awkward it is trying to go when someone is just standing there clapping at you!" A voice called out from the toilet as a hand came out of the seat. "Oh wait! Before you go I need some paper!"

"...Not the hiding place I would choose but at least he has the basic idea." Swift said with a disgusted look on her face. Excuse me sir. We need to get you and the others somewhere safe." Swift called out to a strangely square, bald man with a big nose.

"Hello. Would you like to trade some emeralds for this block of dirt?" The block like man asked.

"Why? What does it do?" Swift asked.

"Um... It's a block of dirt. You put it somewhere you think it will look nice." The square man replied while looking at Swift like she was stupid. Swift just blinked a few times until her attention was drawn up to a short man in green tights flying over the town from a large red balloon while singing about how he was a magical fairy while tossing confetti about.

"...I understand how not killing the citizens is a challenge now." Swift said with a deadpan before turning to the troops she kept with her for the assault on other towns. "Alright let's get to work. Our first target will be red town because it's the closest undefended town. Let's move out!" After that and one quick stop to get her guys into a formation she liked they moved over to the red town. As soon as they got close though they were forced to scatter when one of the cannons on the wall towers started firing at them killing two of her men who were unable to get out of the way in time. Focusing on the tower she could see a dragon reloading to fire again.

"Spread out and charge! You two get behind those bushes for cover and snipe that dragon!" Swift shouted out causing her two ballista men to take cover and aim. One shot struck the dragon in the leg causing him to roar before stopping suddenly when he realized it didn't hurt and taking a deep breath to light the cannon again for another attack but the second shot hit a powder keg knocking it over and causing it to roll into the path of the flames.

"Oh skuze!" The dragon shouted a draconic profanity and flew away before the tower exploded. Unfortunately for that dragon he didn't get far enough away and was sent flying into the ground. Negative 350 points appeared in red over Swift's and the dragon's head.

"Buck!" Swift swore as she charged with her troops at the downed dragon and plunging her blade deep into his belly before he could get up. Instead of blood glowing white pixels came out of the dragon before his body dissolved into the little cubes and disappeared.


The Arcade


"She cheated!" The dragon that just came out of the game shouted angrily as he came out of the game.

"No she didn't." I say without taking my eyes off the screen. The dragon grumbled in irritation at my reply.

"What game can I just smash things in to work off my frustration?" The dragon asked.

"Far corner is nothing but boss fights. Pick one you like or just hit random." I answer. A few moments later I heard him get sucked into another game.

"Oh man! It's just a dopey looking skeleton in a hoodie!" I heard the dragon complain from inside the game.

"It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. On days like this kids like you... should be burning in hell." Another voice called out.

"...What's with that one glowing eye?" The dragon asked.


In the game


Finally after a while of attacking Swift's forces had managed to break down the front gate to red town and moved inside where all of the citizens were running around screaming.

"Ignore them. Let's just get the flag and go!" Swift ordered and her and her troops moved quickly towards the town hall and climbed the stairs to find the red flag waving in a non-existent breeze. Quickly she moved up and reached out her hoof to claim her prize only for her hoof to pass right through it. "What?" She asked in confusion as she looked the flag up and down only to find hastily drawn runes under the floating flag powered by a gem in the center filled with light pink magical energy. Realizing what must have happened Swift moved quickly to the windows and started looking around only to see some sword fighter troops carrying away crates of canon balls, arrows and barrels of gunpowder that have been set up like a carriage with a blue unicorn riding on top holding a red flag like a conquering hero. Trixie even looked back and waved at Swift with a smile.

Grumbling in annoyance Swift looked around at other towns to find her next target knowing Trixie was too far gone to get to her before she reached the blue town which was most likely hers. The fact that she had no ranged fighters with her and the fact she also took extra ammo for such fighters meant that it wasn't worth the effort of attacking that town when there were so many others. Though she did smile as she left because just before she turned to leave she saw a black knight and his troops spring an ambush and start to surround Trixie.


" Stop! Give me the flag or die!" Bloody Horns shouted out to Trixie who was still looking behind her. "Stupid mare, pay attention or I'll have my troops open fire!" He shouted but the unicorn's ride just kept coming. Snorting in annoyance he signaled for his archers to open fire only for the barrage of arrows to pass through the now evaporating group. Slowly Bloody Horns turned around just in time to see Trixie and her troops shimmer into existence as they entered the blue town and the gates closing behind her. "Calf of a- Come on!" Bloody Horns said to his troops as he saw another black knight attacking the white town and quickly moved his troops to set up another ambush.


After a while of sitting and waiting in some bushes Bloody Horns finally saw his fellow black knight running back with a flag in his hand and half of the troops he took with him gone. With a smirk Bloody Horns and his men jumped out of their hiding places and surrounded the battered forces of his fellow black knight.

"Hello Tina." Bloody Horns greeted making the other black knight stop dead in her tracks. "You've done enough of this in our bandit days to know how this is going to work. Just give up the flag and you can have a chance at getting another." The other black knight looked around her at the archers around her ready to attack on command and at the half full life bars over her own men. Grumbling Tina tossed the flag letting it touch down at Bloody's hooves. Taking the flag Bloody Horns nodded and left with his men to get back to his town. Tina then took this chance to run for her town to switch out for fresh troops before making another attempt.


The Arcade


"Well this is certainly getting entertaining. Now it's time for a surprise player." I say as I bring up my options. "Hmmmmm... What do you think Discord. Want to chose which one?" I ask pointing to the screen.

"Do I?!" Discord asked as he leaned in closer for a closer look. "Eeny, meeny, miny you!" He said as he pushed a button.


In the game.


Jumping from rooftop to rooftop dodging arrows that flew to take him out Cluck made it to the edge of the town and ran up the wall and jumped off. Cluck was tired from carrying two flags on his back but didn't have time to rest so when he landed he was ready to keep running but stopped when he saw a tall green thing with no arms and four legs frowning down at him as it ran towards him. Cluck gave a confused cluck at the sight. Not knowing if this was a citizen or an enemy but when the creature hissed menacingly and started to flash he decided not to test it and ran left just barely getting out of the creatures blast radius taking a chunk of the wall with it. Cluck gave a surprised crow but was unharmed. Then he turned to get back to his town and his beak fell open and his eyes bulged at the thousands of angry green exploding things littering the fields and the many that were charging at the surrounding towns. Cluck was suddenly happy he decided to leave all of his troops to guard the town and come out here himself as he ran like he never ran before.

Using his speed Cluck moved in and out of the hoards of exploding green monsters until he made it to his town which to his horror was about to be overrun by those things so he quickly charged forward and with his skills took the flags off his back and threw them over the wall giving a cluck ordering his men to put the flags in the flag room. While that was happening Cluck used his now lighter weight to quickly run around his town aggroing the dangerous monsters and dragging a small army of the things behind him. Looking around him in worry as he is already tired and he has no idea of what to do with the steadily growing army behind him.


"What the buck is going on out here?!" Trixie demanded as she climbed the wall to see why all of her long ranged defenders were suddenly attacking the outsides of all four of her walls. When she saw the raging battle in the middle of the map was ended by a swarm of exploding monsters she was suddenly glad that in the two towns she raided she had the presence of mind to take all that extra ammo because they were probably going to need it. Her thought were interrupted by a dinging sound and she looked up into the sky to see a timer counting down.

"Five more minutes in the game." Trixie mused aloud to herself. Looking down at the creatures outside that were moving in on her town Trixie felt confident that her troops can keep them at bay in that time with all the ammo she got for them. "Still better safe than sorry." Trixie said aloud as she charged up her horn and cast a spell. "Sorry. Trixie knows this is a dick move but Trixie will have this promotion!" Trixie declared as she created an illusion of a random pony and made it run around her town for a few minutes before making it run to another town. As the illusion got further and further away Trixie strained more and more until she had to let it drop from the strain. As she laid there panting she was happy to see that the creatures were still moving in a straight line on their collision course. "The great and powerful Trixie wonders if the owner of that town is even still in the game." Trixie mused.

"@$%^$! %^@^&$! ^%!%! %$$%#%^! up your #$^%#! in the ^%#%^! shower with a plugged in toaster!" Someone shouted from the town Trixie was looking at.

"Well that answered that question." Trixie said halfheartedly.


Later outside the game.


"Congratulations Swift, Unyielding, Cluck, Trixie, Bloody, Vinyl and Table. You have all done well and earned your promotions! This is Sirik the dwarven blacksmith. He will be creating your new weapons from ebony." I say gesturing to the dwarf in the room who waved at everyone. "The rest of you that use weapons you can get replacement dwarven made weapons in the next room. Not as good but much better than the easily mass produced steel ones you all have now." I announce gesturing to the door. For now however please enjoy the party that Pinkie insists we all need!" At my announcement the room was filled with cheers as everyone went to have fun. And while you do that I still need to test these druid spells Ax gave me before to see how my dark magic changes them. Then later today I need to head over to Ax's world to babysit. I thought to myself as I sneak away from the party.

"Well if it isn't the little escape artist." I say as I spot that same baby changeling that keeps getting away from the daycare toddling around. "Smells like you've been away from your mommies for too long." I comment as my sensitive nose picks up on the loaded diaper.

"Help! Get me out of here!" A voice squeaked from the baby.

"What?... Lyra!? Oh no hold on!" I say as I pick up the child. "Lyra where are you?" I asked as I carefully opened the baby's mouth and checked inside.

"Down here! Please hurry!" She called up causing me to check the baby's legs and find Lyra jammed in one of the holes in the hind left leg.

"Oh good. That's a much better place than where I first thought you were." I say in relief.

"Will you just get me out of here already! You won't believe the things this child has stepped in!" Lyra shouted so I pulled her out with my magic and grew her back to normal size.

"I really am sorry about this. I have no idea how this kid keeps getting away from the others like this." I apologist.

"...Yes. A natural born infiltrator." Lyra replies slowly while giving me the stink eye. "Just give me a portal back to Bon-bon and the shower in our room." With a sheepish grin I create a portal while sending a signal to Shit Storm to have his fellow pigeons keep an eye on her.

"Come on you little stinker. Let's get you back with your mommies and siblings." I say as I grab the kid with one of my tails and carry her back to where she belongs.

That Magical Time of the Year.

View Online

I yawn as walk through the palace halls with a wiggling sack on my back heading to the laundry room. As I was walking I looked around trying to find the source of all this groaning and moaning going around. As I was coming up to a hallway I heard the sounds of desperate panting and running hooves as a pony ran and tried to turn the corner but in that short time where he had to slow down for the turn three other ponies that were chasing him tackled him to the ground.

“Help! Please help me!” He begged as the three ponies clamped their jaws onto him and dragged him screaming into a nearby room so dark the shadows appeared to devour him before the door slammed shut.

“Oh that’s what all the moaning is about. It’s mating season.” I say aloud to no one. “Which means day off from princessing! You hear that Phantom Rin?” I asked my shadow that pealed itself off the wall and did a little dance as we walked. Mating time was the one time of the year when all work stops. One would think that outsiders would try and capitalize on this and invade and in fact they have. They just stopped trying when every army that tried was quickly trounced by horny mares and repeatedly raped until mating season was over.

“Hello Celestia. Hello Luna. Nice day isn’t it?” I asked the girls that were bashing against and chewing on a very sturdy and magically reinforced door. “I guess this means that no breakfast will be waiting. Oh well that’s what the muffin button is for.” I say as I get to the washing machine and dumped my bag full of living toys from Toy town in and started it up. “I wonder how Dr. Wolf is doing right now?” I ask aloud. Shortly after me and my shadow burst out laughing. “It’s times like this I’m glad I was made female.”


Meanwhile in Ponyville.


Dr. Wolf held his breath in fear in the hopes of staying hidden from the mares in this town that were sniffing around outside. He waited there with lungs begging for air until the mares shambled off with drool dripping down their chins. Once the coast was clear he let out the breath he was holding and started thinking about his next move.

“I know this was a recurring joke in fanfics but they were never this bad in the stories. This is more like a zombie outbreak.” He whispered to himself. “I need to find Rin. Her dungeon is probably the only safe place to-” He stopped talking when more mares moved past the house he was hiding under. “Why can’t I have super powers like other displaced.” He groaned to himself once he felt he was safe. Quietly he crawled out of his hiding place and made a run for the outskirts of town. Once it looked like he was home free the trolls that send him hate mail in the form of real life popups chose that moment to strike and he ran face first into one making him give an involuntary yelp. Realizing what he just did he looked around at the zombie mares that were shambling out of every door and alleyway and staring at him.

“...Look a distraction!” Wolf shouted as he pointed to somewhere off in the distance before turning and running. The mares not once fooled by his attempted trick gave chase. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit! I need help!” He shouted out. At that moment a card smacked into his face and when he took it off he saw it was a Yu-gi-oh card of the Dark Magician.

“I am the Dark Magician, the ace to the king of games, co protector of all Elements and CMC, the watcher of all displace, co founder of Neo Domino Town and co bearer of the millennium Items of understanding. If you need my help raise this card into the air and call my name and I will come to light your darkest hour.”

“Dark Magician, this is Dr. Wolf. And I need help now!” Wolf screamed out in a panic. At that moment a portal opened up and a human man in purple clothes and a really pointy looking hat came out but before he could say anything he was taken by surprise as several mares tackled him and started dragging him off. “Be careful it’s mating season.” Dr. Wolf shouted back to the man that was being dragged away.

“Not to worry. My bodyguard/ girlfriend will be here in 3..2.” Dark Magician said just a another portal open up and a pissed off Dark Magician Girl stepped out and punched the mares that were dragging him away.

“He is mine you pervy bitches.” Dark Magician Girl said angrily as she cast a spell to freeze the mares in place.

“Th-thank you.” Dr. Wolf said between puffs as he tried to catch his breath. “I do not want to know what would have happened if… is that supposed to happen?” Wolf asked as the mares twitched and stopped like a poorly done claymation. The unicorn’s horns glowing as they fought against the spell. “That… doesn't look like it’s going to hold. We need to find Rin. She’s a Dungeon Keeper displaced and her dungeon might be the only safe place in this Equestria. Can either of you detect dark magic? She is the most powerful dark magic user of this world so if you can then finding her should be easy.” Dr. Wolf said in a desperate sounding voice.

“We already know who Rin is and finding her will be easy.” Dark Magician said simply as he open a portal to Canterlot Castle's laundry room.


“I see you called for backup.” I say as I saw the good doctor come through a portal with the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Rin it’s nice to meet you.” I say as I extend two of my tails to shake which they took.

“You’re doing laundry? Seriously!?” Dr. Wolf asked me as he looked around. “And...is that your shadow?” He asked pointing at my assistant.

“Yes. Her name is Phantom Rin. And no this isn’t laundry a baby got into Toy town and made everything sticky. I already had the town cleaned I’m just washing the residence.” I answer as the buzzer went off and I opened the drier to reveal a lot of living toy pinkies and stuffed animals that were all clearly very dizzy before putting them all in a fresh bag.

“Aww. They are so cute.” Dark Magician Girl said while looking at the toy Pinkies. “You got more Pinkies then we got Revive Pinkies back in our Equestria.” She added.

“Don’t forget we got the other revive mane six and CMC as well.” Dark Magician said simply.

“Um… They’re just the clones from the Mirror Pool incident that I used my dollification spell on. It’s a curse that turns whatever it hits into a plush toy that whenever you squeeze.” I say and finish the sentence with a demonstration by pulling out a Pinkie and squeezing her tummy making her open her mouth wide and give out a squeak.

“So cute.” Dark Magician Girl cooed at the squeaking Pinkie while Dark Magician just sighed. Rin smiled at Dark Magician Girl’s reaction before putting the Pinkie back in the bag and pulling out a plushy wolf.

“Some of my toys were actual animals I practiced the magic stealing spell on. I won’t give you a Pinkie but would you like a living squeaky wolf plushie?” I asked her as I held the toy wolf out to her. The toy wolf was just looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes while panting.

“I would love to have her.” Dark Magician Girl said as she grabbed the wolf plushie.

“Might we have a copy notes of the dollifcation spell and I will give you notes for the Shits and Giggles spell?” Dark Magician asked.

“I’m sorry but can we do this in your dungeon? I would like to be somewhere I could relax!” Dr Wolf shouted in annoyance.

“...You shouldn’t have shouted. Celestia and Luna are just down the hall.” I say to him causing his white fur to somehow get even paler than it normally was. Everyone turned to the doorway leading into the hall at the sound of hooves approaching.

“So anyways what’s the Shits and Giggles spell? I asked with a smile after leaving the good doctor on the horrifying realization on what he had just done.

“It’s a spell that makes the target fart as loud as the royal Canterlot voice for as long as the caster wants.” Dark Magician said simply while Dark Magician Girl was giggling with the toy wolf.

“Why are we just standing here?! We need to go!” Dr. Wolf shouted in a panic as the two royal sisters came in and charged and Dr. Wolf and Dark Magician.

“Back off!” Dark Magician Girl yelled as she freeze the royal sisters with floating glowing swords.

“Wait are those the swords of revealing light? You can cast card spells too? Forget the fart spell I want magical hats! That would be so much fun at parties!” I say excitedly as cracks started appearing on the swords. “Oh by the way, during mating season the limitations placed on ponies goes bye bye. Just like that one mom that lifted a car to save her kid. Can you imagine how strong an alicorn is under those conditions?” I ask as one of the swords breaks like glass.

“Rin I swear if you don't get us to safety right now the first thing I’m going to do when this is all over is point out to Pinkie how many birthdays and holidays you missed when you were in stone!” Dr. Wolf threatened.

“Oh alright be that way.” I say as I open a portal and Wolf jumps in like it was the only water around and he was on fire. The rest of us followed shortly and just at the portal closed the sound of those swords breaking could be heard.

“Welcome to my playroom where I keep my toys. Make yourselves at home.” I say as I walk over to Toy town and unlatch the lid before dumping the bag’s contents inside. “Now about that spell trade.” I said but stopped when my body guards and Trixie from this world came in with crazed eyes making Dr. Wolf scream like a five year old girl. “Hold on I have a spell for this.” I say as I quickly cast the create gold spell and transmuted some of it into a gold necklace to use as a material component and let it go creating stallions which made excellent scapegoats. I then grabbed the mares and the sacrifices with my hand and dumped them in a room with a steel door which I quickly locked. “Summon Harem spell.” I say with a smile. I then make more necklaces with the conjured gold just in case.

“Anyways let’s get on with the trade.” I said once I was done and summoned up some paper and quickly got to work copying down all the notes for dollification.

“Nice and here's a copy of the Magical Hats spell and the Shits and the Giggle spell.” Dark Magician said as he gave Rin the notes. “You know that you might need to use it on a Goody Hero member.” He added.

“I might use the Magical Hats in battle but the only way I see the Shits and Giggles spell being that effective against those guys is if I used it on Celestia or Luna and aimed them carefully. Had you used that spell on them a short while ago...Trust me you’re glad you didn’t.” I say as I finished writing and handed the notes on dollification over.

“Thank you. And the reason why I suggested using that spell on them was because I and Dark Magician Girl knows one of them.” Dark Magician implies as he pockets the note.

“Please tell me they haven't learned how to hop dimensions.” I say with a groan. “Besides I have several curses that I can hit them with. The Morgan Freeman curse makes a disembodied voice narrate every little thing the victim does. You can guess who’s voice it is. And that’s one of the nice curses compared to others. I know curses beyond what you know as cruelty. Allow me to demonstrate.” I say darkly and before either magician could react I locked a curse on them. And their noses started itching like crazy! And it wasn’t just any itch ether. It was that one itch deep inside that makes you feel like you’re going to sneeze but you never do. “Left unchecked that curse will last years!” I shout before laughing maniacally. I laugh genuinely when I feel them trying to break the curse and failing. “I know curses well enough to know all the tricks to break them so mine are tougher. Here let me.” I say as I break my own curse.

“Nah. They don’t know how to hop dimensions. We are just saying that this Equestria’s Lyra is a member of the Goodly Heroes.” Dark Magician Girl said smiling.

“...I had my suspicions. Thanks for the info though.” I say sadly. Poor Bon-bon is going to be so upset. “Anyways that can wait until mating season is over… So. Want to play a game or something? Not even the Goodlies would try anything at this time of the year.” I asked them. Not sure what else to do with my day.

“We could play poker.” Dark Magician suggested.

“I was thinking more along the lines of video games. I have an arcade and trust me the games are so fun they’ll suck you right in.” I say with a smile at my phrasing.

“Oh. Like the one where you fight against Sans from Undertale.” Dark Magician Girl said grinning. “Do you have Team Fortress 2 as well?” She asked.

“First of all I’m calling that game Boss Fight because it’s just a collection of all the video game boss fights I can think of and I still have room to add more. Secondly please stop spying on me. It’s creepy. And as for Team Fortress 2…


“That’s right! You can’t compete with my wrench whacking skills!” I shout out as I repeatedly whack my turret to upgrade it while it blows away a robot medic that got too far from his team.

“Boom headshot!” Dark Magician shouted as he sniped a robot Heavy while Dark Magician Girl was burning all of the robot Scouts.

“Die!” Dr. Wolf shouted as he ran around with his comically large heavy gun. The toy wolf I gave to Dark Magician Girl was following him closely wearing a tiny lab coat with a tiny medic gun that it somehow held, aimed with and fired with its mouth.

“Getting a little intense aren't you doc?” I asked as I set up a new dispenser for everyone as the last one was blown up. “Violence is a choice!”

“I’m not him!” Dr. Wolf shouted. “I’m a real psychiatrist! And you’re lucky I’m here! While you have been changing the timeline I’ve been working hard to make sure that Twilight still learns all of her lessons about friendship!” Dr. Wolf shouted out.

“Making sure Twilight ascends? You are a true fan.” I say with a smile.

“Twilight? I make sure all of them learn every friendship lesson! When that spell is cast I want to see six alicorns!” Dr. Wolf replied as he gave an insane laugh as he uses his heavy weapon to crush in the head of a robot spy. “...sorry I have a lot of pent up aggression right now.”

“You could of used that on the mares in bed like Pervy Lich sometimes does.” Dark Magician Girl said with a giggle as she burns another robot spy.

“Ug! No! I’m not into ponies!” Dr. Wolf said as he rushed over to my dispenser to reload. “At least not in that way.”

“Hey doc you know your plan can’t work right? There is only one aspect of friendship to go to a goddess in this world. You would need to find another aspect for each pony if that was your plan.” I say and just like that Dr. Wolf froze in his place with wide eyes.

“...”


Meanwhile in the Griffin Kingdom


The griffin king was eating his roasted bore that he had hunted and killed himself. As he tore off a large hunk of meat angry shouting filled the air.

“%@#%! %^#%#! %$&^%$! ^$^$#$! %$#%^%! $^$^$^! &^*&^%$! %^$$*!”

The king’s eyes widened in surprise at the profanity that traveled to his kingdom from afar. Slowly his eyes narrowed and he quickly rose from his table and rushed to the nearest window.

“You think you can out swear me!? This is how you cuss!” The griffin king shouted. And for the rest of the day the capital of the Griffin Kingdom was filled with profanities.


Back in the game.


Everything was quiet. Even the robots stopped their attack to stare at the panting wolf.

“Dude. Take a chill pill.” Dark Magician said as he quickly sniped a Robot Soldier while it was looking at Dr Wolf.

“... Apologies for this. But it’s not healthy to keep this much pent up anger. And you of course understand how frustrating it is to work so hard towards something only for it to be a waist. So if you’ll excuse me.” At that Dr. Wolf dropped his weapon and attacked the robots with nothing but his claws. He was so angry that he was killing the robots so fast that the rest of us were unable to kill anything before he could get to them. The toy wolf gave one long look at the bigger wolf and quickly decided that it would go back to its owner and beg to be carried.

“... I think the game's over.” I say as I sit down and watch the robot carnage.

“For the robots or for us?” Dark Magician Girl asked as she points to a Sentry Buster that was heading towards Rin.

“Yes.” I reply simply. Shortly after Dr. Wolf jumped on the Buster and started tearing it apart. “They’re being destroyed faster than the game is generating them. And it doesn't look like he’s slowing down any time soon.”
“I wonder if you should make him a guard or something.” Dark Magician said as he threw a jar of piss at a robot spy only for it to be tackled out of the way by Dr. Wolf and shredded causing the jar to smash uselessly against the ground.

“...I think I need to make him a portable game to vent. Like Warriors of Hyrule.” I saw with a sweat-drop.

“Can you imagine if Twilight used this game to vent as well or Fluttershy?” Dark Magician Girl asked while sweat dropping herself.

“I think Fluttershy would just apologize to the mobs for hurting their weapons with her face.” I say as I summon up a deck of cards. “Soo. You said something about poker?”

“Yeah. So what do we bet with?” Dark Magician asked. I just wave my paws and gold coins fall from the sky.

“Create gold spell. Normally I use this spell to create materials for transmutation but we can use them as chips. Or if you want to bet something we can take home as real prizes we can bet magical knowledge like spells.” I reply while looking to my guests for their answer.

“Hmm that could work. We could also bet weapons and hats if we want to. Because I can always buy more weapons and hats from Mane-Co.” Dark Magician said as he made a table and some chairs appeared from nowhere.

“Alright. But I feel I must warn you. I have a good poker face.” I reply as I take a seat. Phantom Rin pulling herself off the ground and sitting beside me. “You want to shuffle the deck? For some reason most people don’t trust me to do it.”

“Sure. But I think most people might think you cheat because you are a fox or something along those lines.” Dark Magician said as he starts to shuffle the deck.

“Ya, something.” I say as I take the cards given to me. I discard two cards and draw two. “I’ll wager the swarm spell first. Conjure up a swarm of angry bees that attack the target for a short time.”

“Ok. I wager the swords of revealing light spell.” Dark Magician said as he discard one card and pick up one new card. “It’s a spell that can freeze targets from 3 minutes to 3 hours.” He added as he place the note for the spell on the table.

“I have a shiny four of a kind ace kicker.” I say showing my four nines.

“Well I got four aces.” Dark Magician said while showing he had four aces.

“...that’s five aces...If you’re going to cheat you should make it more believable by using cards that won’t show that there are more cards in play then there should be.” I say in a deadpan.

“Then what was your card number five then?” Dark Magician asked with a rise eyebrow.

“It’s a basic deck, no jokers and my full hand is four nines and the ace of diamonds.” I say in an annoyed tone as I display my hand.

“Then someone must have slip the fifth ace in because I didn’t do it.” Dark Magician said as he had a closer look at the cards he got and notice it had balloons in the middle of the ace of diamonds. “I think this one belong to one of the toy Pinkies.” He added while showing me the card.

“Can’t be. They have cards fit for their size. It would have to be the original. But the deck was just opened. Not even that, I took them out of an unopened box with my hand of evil. The only way she could have planted a card is if she was here now...wait why is it so quiet?” I ask as I look around but Dr. Wolf was nowhere to be found. But there was some confetti laying around. “...think we should save him?”

“Nope.” Dark Magician Girl said while wearing a engie outfit.

“He can handle one mare can’t he?” Dark Magician asked.

“...Well he handled Twilight’s crazy but this is Pinkie with heat driven super strength and even less self control and more crazy. What do you think?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well I think he is as good as fucked right about now.” Dark Magician said while putting his hat on his chest for a minute before putting it back on his head.

“Hmmm… They’re in my torture chamber.” I say after focusing on my territory and trying to find any intruders. “...Well I don’t want to face Pinkamena in a room full of sharp things soooo…” With that I grab the deck and start looking through it. “The deck looks fine. Maybe she was hoping for a distraction trying to make it look like one of us cheated?”

“Maybe. I would have thought she would set up some bigger prank than-” BOOM! The card exploded in his hand at that moment with pink candy scented smoke. “I have walked into that one haven’t I?” Dark Magician asked with a deadpan while Dark Magician Girl was laughing her ass off.

“Ohhh. My poor foxy nose.” I complain as I tried to block the scented smoke from invading my nostrils. “Sometimes having such a good sense of smell sucks!” With that I end the game getting us all out of there. “Oh fresh air I…” I stop what I was saying when I saw that the Dark Magician was covered head to toe in pink...something with glitter all over. “It is taking every ounce of the willpower I have not to laugh...Who am I kidding? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Laugh it up. Because when the heat season is over my first revive Rainbow Dash or my sister is going to pay your Pinkie a visit with a revenge prank.” Dark Magician said as he cast a spell to clean himself of all the pink and glitter.

“Good luck with that.” I say after I calm down. After I caught my breath there was a flash of something teleporting in and I looked over to see one of my imps that after looking around for a moment spotted me and ran over.

“Mistress! Big tree running away!” It cried out.

“Wait my experiment!?” I cried out. When the imp nodded I created a portal to the Badlands to see what was going on. My imp and two guests close behind. Once we were there I looked up at the giant black crystal that rose up like a giant cup. The barrier I placed on the top and the tree inside was gone.

“So what is this about a running tree?” Dark Magician asked while looking at some of the black crystals.

“You know how if you try to use one kind of magic to cast a spell meant for another you can get different results? Well I know this iron lich who let me copy some books and one was full of druid magic. I wanted to test them using my dark magic so this black crystal was created to be a giant flower pot. There was also a barrier that was placed over it to keep my experiment contained.” I say as I look around. “The tree was the result of a spell that was supposed to grow a forest. By itself it didn’t work but I tried again my casting it on a single seed and I got a dead looking tree that sucked the life force out of everything in the dirt I placed in the crystal pot. I left an imp to watch it to see if anything changes.”

“So now it got up and ran away?” Dark Magician Girl asked while holding a flamethrower. “Also we know who that Pervy Lich is that you are friends with.” She added.

“I made sure this was a controlled environment. Is this just a second stage to the spell?” I asked as I look around and spot a brown feather as big as my imp. “Or has something from the outside been introduced to the test site. Imp explain this feather!” I order.

“Big stupid birdy try to eat impy! Land on big bubble and try to gobble impy up! But tree break bubble and gobble birdy up instead! Even drink up all the blood.” The imp explained.

“What does this tree look like?” Dark Magician asked the imp.

“Tree looks like tree. But after it gobbled up birdy it change. All slimy now. Also has bones showing and has one big birdy eye!” The imp replied.

“You mean it used the body of the bird to add to itself?” I asked getting a nod from the imp.

“Does this thing have a number on a spot of its body?” Dark Magician asked the imp again with burrow eyes.

“Ummm me no know? Didn’t look too much. Ran to get mistress like a good impy!” It replied. “Went that way though!” The imp said as it pointed off into the distance. “Make funny growly noises. Think it still hungry.” After hearing this I focus on my dungeon and use my hand to put Echo’s saddle and goggles on him and create a portal to bring him here.

“Come on Echo we need to find a tree.” I tell my mount as I pet his head and climb onto his back and strap myself in. “Umm… Can you fly?” I asked the two magicians.

“Yes we can.” Dark Magician answered as he and Dark Magician Girl started floating in the air.With a nod I pat Echo and he lifted off the ground and picked up the imp before we flew off in the direction that the imp pointed out. After a short flight we heard a loud roar and moved quickly to see the tree over a hill. The roar was coming from a large creature that looked kind of like a rhino only it had a longer body and in place of a sharp horn it had a hammer like lump on its nose.

The tree itself though definitely tree shaped look like a fusion of wood and flesh. Its body pulsed in a few places like it had a heart beat and it did have one large falcon like eye. Around its body was bones that make it look like it was trying to build itself a skeleton. It’s roots were long and tentacle like. And a good number of those roots were dug deep into the flesh of the animal. They pulsed while making gulping sounds as the creature got more and more shriveled.

“The tree is sucking that things blood. It has a connection to my heart so it’s mine. I’m going to try and give it an order.” I say as I fly closer. “Hey sit!” I call out. The tree looks at me with its one big eye before it started absorbing the flesh and bone of the creature. “...right I guess that order doesn't work with a body like that. Do a jig!” As soon as it finished eating it grew a little then looked back at me expectantly. It was swaying from side to side but in all fairness that could just be because it’s so tall. But it’s not showing any hostility. Nor did it when I was studying it before. So I carefully get closer while readying an attack and when I was in it’s range...It just kept staring at me. “Hmmm.” I cast the create imp spell creating an imp that landed on one of its branches but that only warranted a passing glance from the monster. So I moved in closer and poked it...nothing.

“Looks like you got a tree friend now.” Dark Magician Girl said while staring at the tree monster. As soon as she got close though the tree reached out and tried to grab her. But she dodge the grab. “No touche.” Dark Magician Girl said with a wave a finger at the tree.

“No they are friends! Not food!” I chastised and the tree looked back at me expectantly. “Are you waiting for me to feed you? You just ate two big meals.” I say. After my reply it started walking away again. “Hey stop! Bad tree!” I shout giving chase but it ignored the order in favor of looking for more nourishment. “Alright fine you want some munchies? You got to earn them. See that rock over there?” I ask it while pointing at a boulder nearby which got its attention. “Break it.” The tree slowly moved over to the rock and wrapped its roots around it and slowly crushed it before moving back to me with that expectant look.

“The slow and tanky type but works for treats.” I say as I use my hand to grab as many chickens as it could hold from one of my hatcheries and created a portal that I tossed them through creating a chicken geyser. “There eat those.” At my order it began smashing the chickens into a bloody mess and sunk its roots into the blood soaked ground which quickly began to dry up.

“I take it it’s like a vampire tree or something.” Dark Magician said while the tree was eating the chickens or what was left of them.

“Ya but what an appetite. I can easily keep feeding it indefinitely at this size but it’s much bigger than it was before. I’m getting this little shop of horrors vibe. I hope it’s done growing. It grew instantly after feeding on that creature before.” I say as I look the tree over. It now has bone like thorns about its body. It gets bigger when it absorbs the flesh and bones but it didn’t grow while it was sucking out the blood. “Listen up tree! You do as I say and I’ll keep the chickens coming. But you can’t get any bigger. No more flesh and bones ok?” I ask but the tree’s focus was on the ground as it slurped up the last of the blood. The ground wasn't even stained by the time it was done. “Did you hear me?!” I shouted and it responded by making the broken chicken bones shoot up out of the ground along with feathers and chicken jerky. “I’ll take that as a yes...Question. How do you feel about me putting a tree house on your head?” It just looked at me in incomprehension.

“I think you just offended it.” Dark Magician said with a rise eyebrow.

“Na he’s cool aren't you buddy?” I ask as I have Echo land on a branch and I give the tree a pat. “Feels like petting a giant tongue.” I look down at the tree that was giving me that expectant look. “You’re a bottomless pit aren't you?” I ask as I bring more chickens which it promptly got to work on. “I’m going to call you… Garfield! Because it looks like you never stop eating. Now what would make a good name for your spices?” I mused. “You're the first of your kind and considering your appetite I don’t plan to make another but still.”

“Blood tree?” Dark Magician Girl suggested.

“Hmmm good as any. Hey Garfield can you do anything other than move slowly and break heard things?” I asked it and it got this look in its eye. As if to prove to me it could be fast at least in its swings it swung a branch with the speed of a boxer. “Hey wait what is that cloth you have in your...Oh my.” I say and I turn my head away so not to stare at Dark Magician Girl’s now exposed lower body. “Something tells me you would get along well with Ax.”

“The pervy Lich isn’t my type and I would kick him in the balls if he try this or stare at my breasts.” Dark Magician Girl said with a deadpan as she use her magic to create some replacement clothes.

“I was talking to the tree.” I said.

“It’s a pervy tree.” Dark Magician Girl said as she place her clothes on.

“I wouldn’t.” I say when I see the tree move its branch like it was going to do it again.

“Keep your branches to yourself you perv!” Dark Magician Girl said as she dodge again. The tree blinked at this and looked down. Like it was torn between eating and pulling up its roots so it could reach Dark Magician Girl again.

“I’m getting a feeling this is going to be a recurring thing whenever I bring you anywhere.” I say to Garfield. “Come on I know a good place to plant you in my dungeon. I told the tree as I create a portal big enough for it. Once we enter a large unused room I have my imps dig a large and deep hole which I fill with dirt and turn the rest of the room around it into a hatchery. Once the chickens started popping up Garfield quickly rooted himself in and used some of his roots to pull chickens in to smash them while drinking with the ones under the dirt.

“Help me!” I heard Dr. Wolf’s voice scream out as I saw him running down the hall naked except for the chains and ball gag hanging around his neck. A crazed Pinkie close behind. When he saw us the doctor moved straight for us.

“Baby.” Dark Magician simply said as he created a barrier right in the way of Dr. Wolf’s path.

“Noooooo! Rin save me!” He begged while giving me the most pitiful look. With a sigh I grab him in my magic and lift him up out of the pink mare's reach. Once I did that the crazed pink mare turned her attention towards us and started bucking the barrier. Desperately trying to get in.

“Good luck with that. This barrier is Pinkie Pie proof.” Dark Magician said with a yawn at Pinkie’s failing to break the barrier. At his words the Pink mare took off down the hall disappearing from sight. The next moment the Dark Magician's Hat lifted up to reveal the Pinkie underneath.

“You just had to challenge Pinkie Pie of all ponies to get in didn’t you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Which is why I plan ahead.” Dark Magician said as he summons a floating cupcake. However the temptation of a cupcake was overpowered by another. But right before she was about to tear into the Dark Magician in more ways than one Pinkie was grabbed by a branch and pulled away with a startled squeak. Panicked I turned to save Pinkie only to witness something I never wanted to see.

“Oh, oh that is some evil dead shit right there.” I say is disgust. “Don’t hurt her Garfield!” I order when I saw that pinkie was very consensual and turned away. “Well I’m going to go take so many baths right now. I feel so dirty. So I guess this is goodbye for now.”

“I guess. So what are you going to do about Lyra once the heat season is over?” Dark Magician asked while Dark Magician Girl was taking pictures of the tree and Pinkie.

“...I don’t know yet. I’m going to talk to Celestia and Luna about it when they are back in their right mind. Probably while we go through the new orders and laws she created in this state of mind to make sure she hasn’t commissioned another city made out of cake.” I reply as I turned to leave while using my hand to send Echo back to his enclosure.

“Call us if you need any help in the future.” Dark Magician said as he opens a portal back to his Equestria and steps in.

“Goodbye and watch out for number monsters.” Dark Magician Girl said with wave as she steps into the portal which close afterwards. As I stepped out of the room Dr. Wolf just gave me a flat look before flicking a card in my face.

“Here. I don’t think I’ll ever be calling on those back stabbers ever again.” He said before turning away and storming off. “I can’t believe she was going to throw me to the wolves.” I snort at his choice of words and use inspiration manifestation to give him some pants and a shirt. Sending the token with the others I left for my bathroom.


24 hours later.


I had just finished drying off and I was heading to the arcade with Phantom Rin to play some games. My poofed up fur swaying around making me look like a walking chia pet without all the green. When I got there I frown at the mess of cards and chaires and one table laying around. I just call on some imps to clean it up when a piece of paper caught my eye. Looking at it I smile at the notes on the swords of revealing light that Dark Magician had placed as a bet in the quickly forgotten card game.

Bonus Chapter. My Pet Dungeon #4

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Elegant Notes looked left and right trying to figure out which way to go. As far as Rin's games goes she had to admit this one was was her favorite. All she had to do was navigate the maze and not fall into any traps. The Traps were harmless so she treated this as a leisurely stroll while Rin just sat back and watched.

"So tell me. How did you first meet Celestia and Luna? What was that like?" Elegant Notes asked as she turned left.

"How did I meet them? Well obviously Celestia was the first and that was..."


2983 years ago.


"...Collect the dead and notify their next of kin." I say sadly to some of the diamond dogs working for me who quickly saluted and rushed off to follow the order. As I sat there some of my Pegasi black knights and young dragons flew over to me. Followed shortly by a huffing and wheezing Strong Heart.

"I-is it o-over?" Strong Heart asked between deep breaths.

"Ha! Serves you right for trying to move in on our territory!" One of my dragons shouted out as he kicked the still tail sticking out of the rubble. "Should have taken the boss's offer to leave alive!"

"Make sure he's dead." I order and the dragon that was mocking the downed dragon looked at me for a moment before he and a few others started digging until they got to the base of the tail and to my confusion leaned up against the downed dragon's butt.

"The heart in his butt isn't beating." One of the dragons said and the others nodded.

"...Dragons have their hearts in their butts?" I asked getting a nod from them.

"We dragons have more than one heart but most of them are magic. The one in our chests stay but the ones in our butts, wrists and neck disappear after we die." One of the dragons explained. ...Wait...They think their pulse is extra hearts? Well considering the doctors I've seen in the few villages around tried to cure everything with leeches I can't say I'm surprised. I debate with myself for a moment whether or not to explain to them what a pulse was but decided I didn't feel like it.

"Then start harvesting his body. After what he pulled we're going to use everything we can. Scales and bones will be made into tools. Grind up the organs and send them to the towns under my flag to fertilize the fields." I order.

"We eat meat? Make dragon yum yum?" One of the dogs asked with hopeful eyes. I look over to my young dragons and they don't appear to be offended by the idea so I shrug.

"Sure. Just don't try to give me or the dragons any." I answer getting cheers from the dogs. While the dogs were finishing up their task of collecting my fallen minions and the dragons were hard at work pulling the scales out of the tail several ponies in gold armor marched up to us.

"Thank you for your assistance." One of the armored party said to the only male pony with us at the moment. "Perhaps you could help us again. We are looking for a local warlord that goes by the name Rin. Do you serve under him?" I get a little worried at learning that they are looking for me specifically. It's obvious they already serve someone as they march under a flag and considering how fancy that carriage is I think it's safe to assume that their boss is in there. If I had to guess whoever this is wants an alliance seeing as they at least sent a representative and not just troops. Also I doubt that they would ask someone they think is working for me if they were looking for a fight. Still it could be a trick. Well that or the one commanding these guys is really arrogant. Either way I'll need to be careful. I'll keep my identity a secret for now and see if I can-

"She's Rin. The fox." Strong Heart said cheerfully as he points at me with one of his thick fingers. ... I need to talk to Strong Heart about his trust issues. Because I have an issue with how trusting he is. At Strong Heart's words the pony turned his head and looked at me with a judgmental look in his eyes.

"Greetings." I say causing the new ponies eyes to open wide in shock. That shock didn't take long however before he went back to his stone face.

"Queen Faust has come for an audience with you. Come with us." The lead pony said in a way that could be taken as nothing but an order. At this my dragons stopped what they were doing and moved over to me while my knights got tense. This in turn caused the pony guards to get into a battle stance.

"Let me help you. When asking someone to come with you, you say 'would you please come with us.' Trying to apply force even in tone tends to result in negative responses." I know this could lead to a fight fast but I know the territory I have is mine. Queen Faust rules a kingdom to the west so I know she has no say in what I do and I'm not just going to roll over. Queen Faust's guards didn't see it that way however as they drew their weapons and narrowed their eyes.

"You will not keep the queen waiting. Now stand down and come with us!" The lead guard demanded causing my minions to get ready for a fight and I was getting ready to turn the lead guard into a chicken.

"Stop it right now captain Hard!" A strained female voice called out from the carriage as it was pulled up and turned so that the alicorn could be seen inside panting heavily. "You will not provoke a fight. She is right and I expect more from you." The head guard looked ashamed as he and his men put their weapons away. "I apologize. T-This is his f-first diplomatic-c." Queen Faust strained to say before she cringed in pain while she clutched her stomach and I just noticed the fluids dripping down her chair. "I...I think the baby is coming." At those words panic washed over the guards and servants as they started running around.

"Where is the doctor we brought!?"

"He died when the dragon attacked!"

"What do we do!?"

"Does anypony know how to apply leeches!?"

"Just dump them on her!" One of the guards shouted as he grabbed a container from the back of the carriage that made the sound of water sloshing as it moved.

"What!? Stop!" I shout as I knock the container off the back of the guard that was carrying it. "You don't use leeches for delivering a baby!"

"Listen to her! She's a doctor as well as a warlord!" Strong Heart exclaimed causing my heart to shoot up into my throat. Pulling Strong Heart in close I whispered to him.

"What do you think you're doing? Just because I have a heal spell doesn't make me a doctor!" I say to him.

"It's true! She saved my mother's life where even leeches failed!" One of my black knights shouted. That's because the leeches were what was killing her in the first place! Before I knew what was happening I was picked up and moved over to the queen and had my face right in front of her open canal. At that moment her bodily fluids gushed out and got all over me.

"Do something!" One of the queen's servants shouted in a panic as I saw a head slowly start to come out.

"Q-Quick! I need towels and warm water!" I shout out on reflex. I don't know why as I had no idea what to do with those things but it's what they do on T.V. Without question the servants got to work getting some blankets from storage and a pot that they filled with water from a nearby river while one of my dragons started a fire for the water. "Push! Just keep pushing!" I shout to Faust before looking around and grabbing a clean pillow and bringing it to the queen's face. "Bite down on this!" After she did this I looked back down between her legs at the coming baby. Why was she even out here in this condition!

Slowly the baby came out. Over this time I kept getting blasted in the face with what I tried to pretend was water that kept gushing out and managed to nail me every time no matter where I moved. The entire time this was happening Faust was screaming in a high pitch. The guards were screaming in an even higher pitch. I...kept my mouth shut because I didn't want any of that stuff shooting into my mouth. And Strong Heart was screaming in the highest pitch of all. Once the baby was partially out I supported it with my fore paws and was careful not to try and force it. Once the baby made it out on its own I turned as the servants rushed over with the warm water. Looking at the blankets and warm water then down at the slime covered baby crying in my arms I took a guess at what they were for and carefully dipped a blanket into the warm water and started washing the baby and my fore paws clean. Once I was sure that she was completely cleansed of the mess that was covering her body I took a dry blanket and wrapped the still crying baby up and passed it over to the queen.

"Congratulations... It's a girl." I say shakily as I paw the baby over to its mother. "Now if you'll excuse me...I need to take one hundred bathes. Meet me at noon tomorrow in the town over that hill if you still want to talk to me." I say as I turn to leave. When I was trying to walk away I was filled with this indescribable feeling deep within my soul. When I turned to look back at the queen. Her eyes were shifting like she was examining something. When she was done and the feeling left she just smiled at me.

"I will. And...thank you." She said in a gentle voice before looking back down at her baby.


Present day.


"...You were a warlord?" Elegant Notes asked.

"At the time Equestria was a small kingdom and the pony inhabited lands around it were lawless. I saved some towns that were run by tyrants and so they became my territory. So yes by the definition I was a warlord.

"...I see. And princess Luna?"


2980 years ago.


My eye twitched as I tried to concentrate on catching the baby. Faust was screaming, The guards were screaming in a higher pitch. Strong Heart was screaming in an even higher pitch. King Salaris was screaming in the highest pitch of all.


Present day.


"The first time was an emergency. The second time Faust asked me to do it herself."

The Fox and a Batty Bat.

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Moving quietly through the shadows the team of rogues homed in on their target. They had to be careful because the owner of the store was using it as a hiding place from the sex crazed mares outside. Waiting for the paranoid pony to turn his head before flying across the area until they got to the shelf they were looking for. Moving to the back of the glass case they looked up at the giant (To them) black and red amulet that looked like an angry alicorn and had a slightly glowing red gem in the center.

The leader of the group nodded and one of the others took out a small container which he opened and spread in a circle on the glass big enough for the amulet to fit through. While he was doing this another had some play dough which he put onto the tip of his hooves and pressed against the glass in the middle of the circle while the substance bubbled. The group waited there for a moment until the glass moved and the play dough breezie pulled it back as some others quickly moved to help him put it down quietly.

“You sure this will work boss?” One of the rogues asked.

“It’s just a theory. That’s why we're testing it on something for the boss. If it doesn’t work we at least get some brownie points. Besides it works for all the stuff we carry for our jobs so why not what we take?” The leader answered as they moved in and surrounded the amulet. “Alright left with your legs on three. One, two, three!” With strained grunts the team lifted with all their strength.

“So...heavy!” One of them wheezed.

“Suck it up. Once we get it out of the case it will be officially stolen. So move!” The leader grunted through the strain as they slowly carried the amulet through the hole they made in the glass. “Almost, there. Hey boss! We need a pick up! We got you a present!” After a short moment and the distressing sound of giant hooves coming their way the team and their prize disappeared.


I drop the breezies in front of me along with the Alicorn Amulet. I blink in surprise at the dark artifact that they brought with them.

"Thought you would like this boss. It's a powerful and dangerous dark artifact some guy was trying to sell in his shop. Figured it was right up your alley!" The lead breezie shouted up to me.

“I see. Good job. But you know I’ll need all the info on this guy right?” I asked them getting several tiny nods before they started looking around the dark, cold place we’re in before looking down at the squishy surface they’re standing on.

"Ummm... Boss... What are we standing on?" The leader asked as I picked up my prize and examined it. Remembering Doom’s question on if the magic stealing spell was limited to living things I give it a try and open my mouth wide and started pulling. I’m pleased to see the dark power leave the amulet and fly into my mouth so I could nom it.

“At the moment you are standing on the stomach.” I answer as I send the amulet away to my room. “The thick slimy vine looking things are intestines and I’m using the pancreas as a seat cushion while we talk.” I answer causing the team to look sick. “You see I’m sick of my flesh golems falling so easily. They’re strong enough to get the enemy to focus on them over the skeletons but not tough enough to last long when they are the center of attention on the battlefield. So I’m using much bigger animals to create tankier flesh golems and you caught me working.”

"Oh, ok. Can you open the door for us then? We... really don't want to be in here." One of my minions asked with a sickly green face.

“The exit is the cut over there.That’s how I got in. But if you want I can just use the hand to send you to your bird house.” I say with a smile.

"Yes please. But if that's how you got in then what's the door for?" Another breezie asked while pointing behind me. I turn around and am surprised to see that there is indeed a door there. A rather fancy door too, made of a dark mahogany and also oddly had three door levers at varying heights from normal height down. Most notable however was the large bronze knocker that was engraved with Celtic boars that if the ring of the knocker was level, would be facing widdershins.

“I didn’t put that there.” I say as I move over to it and look it over. I try to move it and it doesn't budge, like it was fixed to it’s current point. I try to open it but it’s locked on all three levers. Tilting my head as I look it up and down I shrug and give the door a few good knocks with the knocker to see what would happen.

“Oh bother, coming.” I blinked at the sound of a sophisticated Braytish-accented male voice, and soon the door opened inward without a sound to reveal a human-like golem of impressive design wearing a full butler’s attire. “Apologies. Ever since Lord Bronze got a rather troublesome power boost, I’ve been unable to prevent the front door from errantly appearing in random universes. I apologize if the Main Doorway has caused you distress in any form.” The golem then turned to the side and looked inside what seemed to be an opulent manor of marble. “Sir, a potential Displaced has knocked on our front door.”

“Hm...wha? Who’sit?” A sleepy-sounding male voice of a deep tenor echoed out from the depths of the manor in an impressive boom, that seemed accidental. Guy must have a naturally loud voice.

“Might I ask your name mum? Lord Bronze isn’t really all there in the head as of late, and we’re a bit cautious concerning who he associates with at the moment. At least regarding to their ability to withstand his ability to ignore most of the laws of physics on accident.”

“My name is Rin. Dungeon Keeper Displaced.” I succinctly provided, no need to get fancy with unknown entities.

“Is it Filly-Scouts? I want coco-nutties!” The drowsy voice commented. Must obviously be the butler’s ‘Lord Bronze’.

“Sir, please remember that our world is currently going through the various heat cycles, so you decided to shack up here to avoid accidentally fusing into one of your marefriends when they try to pounce you. As such, obviously, the Filly-Scouts aren’t likely operating at this time, with their overseers all in a rut or hiding.” The butler droned in obvious irritation.

“Oh yea…okay, whatevs, let ‘em in.” The tired voice stated, getting the golem to open the door fully and to bow slightly. “C’mon in. Mind my sleepiness. Still recovering from two months without sleep and this place not letting me sleep either.”

“Thank you.” I say as I pull some cleaning water from outside the body and lift myself off of the organs I’m standing on with my magic and quickly wash myself off and squeeze dry myself. Once I’m done I poof up into a ball of fluff and float through the door and crawl into the closet to hide as the sound of the front door being smashed open fills the air. I cry as I hear the sounds of my home being torn apart as I hug my children close to me. I scream as the door flies open and a man points a shotgun at us. I lay bleeding on the street from the knife wound as the man that stabbed me ran off with my backpack. As I lay there bleeding out I run as fast as I can but I can feel the intense heat behind me from the deafening explosion before it rips through me so fast I can see my flesh disintegrated leaving only bones before I lay there in pain as I can taste the blood in my mouth from my gums and the vomit I couldn't keep down.

My eyes shoot open as I jump up from the floor I was laying on. I was in the icey room where I was working on the new flesh golem. Around me was trainer Trixie, Mr. Freeze and Wraith. I can also see that the door had been moved to outside of the body and that stone golem was standing at the door watching.

“What the hell!? I’ve never sensed so many ghosts before!” I shout out before my eyes narrow and I summon up some gems to create a giant jar which I quickly enchant with the Liquid Pain spell.

“Are you ok?” Trainer Trixie asked.

“No I’m not! That place is full of new ghosts that died suddenly or painfully and I just experienced their last moments and all of their pain and despair! It was horrible! What the hell happened to make so many ghosts!” I demanded as I willed several imps to come to me.

“Oh, nothing special. Just a total atomic annihilation event caused entirely by paranoia and panic. Considering Sir Bronze has several major cities of his dead world now drifting in his Nexus, you likely only felt a good portion of the poor souls he failed to save. Apologies for the unexpected unpleasantness. Now then, please look after Lord Bronze for a while as I look around the multiverse for any exorcism services capable of cleansing a planet-sized genocide worth of ghosts.” The golem stated before he closed the door.

“But I-” I started to say before I was interrupted.

“Wow! I had NO idea just how haunted Nexus had gotten! So sorry ‘bout that lady, I’d say I’ll get it taken care of, but me and spirit things don’t mix well-hey imps! So cute!” I quickly turned to see the source of the voice and blinked at the sight of an 8 foot tall black thestral alicorn stallion with silver shaggy hair and swirly pale blue/dark blue eyes without pupils hugging one of my imps. “They’re like big-eyed lanky green babies! Oh hey! Another Trixie! Hi Trixie! My Trixie is homosexual. Try hooking up with Twilight. My Twilight really enjoys her relationship-WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY~?!” The stallion suddenly sang out and equally suddenly held up a fluffy orange fox that keened adorably.

“... Look I need to… And he’s gone.” I say upon witnessing the stallion who clearly had to be Bronze suddenly vanish as if he had never been there, but left the fox that quickly ran off.

“I am everywhere, yet nowhere~! I am nothing, yet everything~! I think, therefore I am~! I’m currently the floor you're standing on. Your paws are so soft!” Bronze’s voice echoed around and then centered under me, getting me to jump off the floor a few feet away to see a 2-dimensional Bronze seeming to be pressing his face into the ‘screen’ of the floor. “Nice floor! The molecular density is extremely uniform!”

“... Okay… Space magic?” I asked Bronze as he rapidly began swirling backwards around the room on the floor, making the others instinctively jump out of the way as he seemed to be shrinking. Well except for Mr. Freeze. His bulky metal body made him too slow to get out of the way.

“Yep, but just feeling a little fluuuuuuuuush~!” Bronze cheesed in an incredibly accurate James Woods voice as he vanished in the center of the floor.

“Please stop that. Look I can’t wait for your butler I’m going to start the exorcism now. It is my duty as a powerful necromancer to help those souls now! So please stay still and let me work.” I say as me and my imps walked into the mansion. I was ready for them this time so I was able to keep my head clear and the enchanted jar for liquid pain started filling up at a surprising pace. I guess it’s to be expected with so many ghosts channeling their pain into me.

“Ah, very good, I was about to come retrieve you beings my search yielded that you were the most suitable for the task at hand within the next hundred universes from this one.” The golem butler stated as he seamlessly warped around without any indication of a focus to do so, and a balcony appeared next to the wall of windows all viewing different universes, which he opened to reveal the swirling black and purple void that was the ‘nexus’ so to speak, with large islands of landmass floating around without any seeming order, and a heatless sun lighting everything.

“Mind Vegas, Master has fond love of his hometown and he damaged it enough throwing skyscrapers around in a recent spat.” As he said such, the balcony was suddenly a bridge onto a random street.

“Some glass might be broken as a result of such a large exorcism.” I say as I summon up some paint and sent a mental command to my imps to start drawing a giant ritual circle on the ground in the middle of the street. “It will help if we had items symbolizing all of the afterlives the people of this world believed in. It will help guide the souls that want to move on. Think you can use that space magic to get me some. I don’t do space magic except for my hand.”

A giant pile of various religious items dumped out of the air off to the side. “That should cover the basis of the majority of our former world’s religions. However, this was the City of Sin mum. You may find there aren’t many religious ghosts here. Also, you are clearly a necromancer from my sources. Would you be willing to take a world’s worth of corpses off our hands? We really have no use for dead and rotting flesh. Even if Master Bronze could fuse it into his own mass for whatever reason, I’d rather not tempt him with the idea.”

“It helps regardless. Even if the ghost didn’t believe, if it is something they recognize as what they have been told Heaven looks like it will help guide them. As for the bodies...sure. Especially the mummies. I need them to make ...well, mummies. And if you have any blood diamonds I would gladly trade you twice the normal kind and I need a lot of blood diamonds for this one spell. With the world I live in being as peaceful as it is those are impossible to get there.” I say as I place the symbols of the afterlife around the circle.

“Oh, please. Take the nasty things.” The butler said as a giant pile of diamonds began pouring from a hole in the air a bit away. “Ponies rightfully want nothing to do with the things, they sense the animosity in them.” The golem blinked, and sighed. “Oh dear...you have a...present, waiting for you back in your world now.” The butler then frowned slightly before bowing. “Apologies, I had forgotten to introduce myself. I am Jeeves. Master Bronze Brave’s proxy.”

“Umm...okay. Thank you. But I’m still giving you normal replacement gems. Even if you don’t care about wealth at least you will have them to help others. And it’s a pleasure Jeeves.” I say as I look back at the giant jar I was carrying that is now almost full of liquid pain. I can’t even lift it with my tails anymore. “With all the liquid pain I got from the suffering ghosts I can super charge this to get a lot in one go. How many portals to the other cities can you create connecting to this one at once?” I ask.

“All of them, of course. The Nexus is perhaps the most malleable dimension within the next several thousand dimensions. Perks of it being the personal plane of an alicorn of space.” Jeeves gestured with his hand to point out shimmering air in a dome all around us. “This contained bubble is surrounded on all sides by the most central region of each city floating in the Nexus. I’ve had a few more notable locations such as the Catacombs of Paris and other such places included in case of a more entrenched haunting.”

“Okay. Here goes nothing.” I say as I start channeling as much of my dark magic as I can dish out at once while augmenting the spell by feeding the darkness liquid pain which was overflowing. “I've never done this on such a large scale before. This should be quite the sight.”

After saying that I let it all out and a blast of dark magic flew out in all directions and didn’t appear to stop. Shortly after the dark wave passed deafening wails could be heard as the wandering monochrome ghosts became visible for all to see. Some were in a crowd screaming at us. Some wandered aimlessly. And some were stuck in a loop reliving the moments of their deaths again and again seemingly unaware that they were dead. But most notable were the great number of them all pointing at Jeeves, their wordless screams angry, accusing, hateful.

“They blame you for their deaths. Those ones are already in the making of becoming natural undeads.” I say as I look around and begin the second part of the ritual. “Something is wrong though. It looks like someone is helping them along on that. And pushing them to become a particular kind of undead… Feels like… wendigos?” I say as I try to finish the spell.

“Oh dear...Asphodel, the Winter Witch’s escape from the Far Frozen was only two-odd months ago. Then again I wouldn’t be surprised if the sheer hatred Master Bronze was emitting during his sudden battle with our guest hadn’t let some of her windigoes in to start these poor spirits on the way to becoming wendigos. No wonder the Master has been even more out of sorts than usual.” Jeeves commented. “As for them accusing me. They’re rather accusing my principal. He tried, truly. But even with his power he could only save a few hundred thousand before the bombs claimed the rest.”

“Maybe that door showing up wasn’t random. What are the odds it would find me now. If this was allowed to continue another week or two… The sheer number of wendigos could overwhelm any country with raw numbers.” I say as I summon a bell and start ringing it. “Now comes the easy part.”

“Quite high actually. Not even I understand Nexus, it always behaved oddly, and intuitively. Sometimes we believe it to be aware in it’s own way. As for them assaulting anything, that would likely be Asphodel’s plan. She desire’s one thing; the suffering of all life.” Jeeves informed as he watched.

Once I rang the bell for the thirteenth time a massive glowing white circle appeared over the ritual circle and drew the attention of all of the ghosts. Including the ones that were trapped in a loop. The angry specters screamed even louder in protest as the calmer ones rushed into the light. This was followed shortly by a beautiful sight as waves of ghosts came rushing in through all of the nearly-unseen portals created by Jeeves like a glowing waterfall creating a dazzling show of lights. The cold hate in the air was momentarily overpowered by the joy of the Doorway to freedom that had just opened up for them.

“Wow. So many ghosts moving on at once is quite a sight.” I say as I watch.

“Yes, good. Glad to be rid of the poor things. They were disturbing the Master so much he wasn’t getting rest outside of Nexus either.” Jeeves commented coldly but with a tone of approval as he looked idly around. “Hm, some weak points in the barrier, might be how Asphodel’s agents even slipped in and out. I’d best take care of them now that the ghosts aren’t mucking things up.”

“You do that but I’m not done. That was a way for the willing ghosts to drop their hate and leave willingly. There are some stubbornly clinging to this place. Not enough to be dangerous on their own but once they turn it’s still a small army.” I say as I summon some chance and a few onyx gems. “Time to apply some force. Please keep this place connected to the other cities if you can.”

“Of course.” Jeeves said, vanishing in the blink of an eye, but the dome of shimmering air remained around me. Concentrating I use up some more liquid pain and the onyx gems to power the spell. The area was filled with screams of hate and protest as ethereal chains shot out in all directions. Once the chains stopped they started to slowly reel themselves in and one after another, angry ghosts were dragged in giving off a wide variety of profanities. Some of them were even light blue and giving off intense cold. Showing that they were close to turning. Once the last chain vanished taking the last ghost to their halls of judgment the spell ended and everything went quiet.

“There done.” I say in an exhausted tone before looking at the trashed city. “Alright imps let’s do something else nice. Put those mad fixing skills to work and start repairing this place. With the speed you work it should take no more than five hours to get this one city back into mint condition.” I say and my imps rush off to start repairing the buildings. Once they get to work I take the time to quickly clean up the ritual site. Don’t want some amateur necromancer trying such an advanced spell. “There. I guess I should go check up on my guest now.” I say as I send my blood diamonds and the still half full jar of liquid pain to my personal vault before dumping the normal gems in their place and creating a portal back home.

“-In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern major-general~!” I walked into the final line of what seemed to be a musical sung entirely by Bronze on a stage. With several not-Bronze golems of various materials singing backup chorus in a blend of male and female voices as a band of ghost musicians supplied the music. Those...aren't my ghosts… I thought to myself at the sight. But my attention was drawn away from the musical to the feeling that my dungeon had been breached! Closing my eyes I focus on the feeling and see the top half of an Egyptian pyramid sticking out of the floor of one of the unused rooms on the lowest section. The rest of the structure was underneath the bedrock floor which stopped me from going any lower.

Next to what of the pyramid that was sticking out of the ground were several large chests. I could already feel the space magic woven into each chest and I could feel the countless bodies in each one. Looking closer I saw that each chest had labels for families of species and ages and genders. Well I guess he would have needed to make those chests. There is no way all the dead bodies of an entire planet were going to fit in my dungeon despite how big it is. At least I won’t be suffering a shortage of disposable troops any time soon. Casting the create imp spell in that room because all my high level ones were fixing Vegas I let the new imp get to work claiming the pyramid inside and out.

Having done that I refocus on the room I’m in and look around at the various minions and cranky babies that should be having nap time right now. Frowning I turn to one of my changelings.

“Why haven't you taken them back to the play room to lay them down for their nap?” I asked in an annoyed tone.

“We’ve tried! Every time we carry some of the babies out through one Doorway we come back in through another!” The changeling replied in a slightly panicked voice.

“SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!” Bronze screamed melodramatically from a corner of the room as he writhed about on the floor, smacking his face into the stone and it splashing into it like the rock was water. “Stay awake~! The nightmares will get you!” I just give a tired sigh at his rants and create a portal in the floor leading to the play room. “Beware the Tantabus!”

“Don’t worry I’ve already taken care of the bad nightmares.” I say to him before focusing on a song and letting the magic of this world play the music. As I sing the grumpy babies start to settle down and nod off as they are carefully lifted in my magic and taken through the portal.

“Umm...is that safe?” A nervous changeling asked.

“Don’t worry my portals aren't space magic. They’re shadow magic. That’s why they look like a bottomless pit. The hole is actually quite shallow. It just looks like that because of the concentration of darkness that allows others to pass through the shadow realm and out somewhere else. And space magic no matter how much power you put into it can not affect shadow magic because shadows have no mass. Even the shadow realm which is an infinite black void with glowing purple fog technically has no space. It’s why space magic can’t be used to enter the shadow realm. Think of it like a giant game of rock paper scissors. No matter how powerful some kinds of magic can be there is always another that can one, trunk it, two, react negatively to it or three, cancel each other out.” I explain.

“Basically what she said. No matter how hard I might try I can’t affect shadows that have no mass unlike Dox’s denser kinds of it. But Light and everything else? I can manipulate it like a fine-tuned piano.” Bronze whispered from next to the changeling, getting her to jolt and barely avoid yelping. “I’mma get some grub at the Hayburger, back in a second.” And he’s gone.

“Anyways it’s safe so just go tend to the children.” I tell the changeling who nods and follows the babies through the portal.

“Wait.” Trainer Trixie said aloud. “You don’t think he went to this world's hay burger do you? The ponies of this world are still going through their heat cycle. Not only is nothing open he will be attacked as soon as he gets there.”

“Got grub.” Bronze startled trainer Trixie as he suddenly reappeared next to her, levitating dozens of burgers, fry buckets, and milkshakes in the air around him. “The mares here are so friendly. I mean, they kept trying to hug me so I had to meld through them. Chocolate shake?” Bronze offered as he levitated one of the said drinks towards trainer Trixie.

“...I hope you left payment for those. I know they weren't open today.” I say as I take the offered shake. “And they wanted a lot more than a hug.”

“They weren’t? But mares were eating and the clerk rang me up, but only after they all tried hugging me several times and got frustrated for some reason after passing through me a few times. Then the cashier just obviously wanted me gone for whatever reason.” Bronze said as he sipped on a vanilla shake. “Even let me pay extra for the glasses of the shakes.”

“It’s heat season here. All businesses are closed for woopy time.” I explain to him.

Bronze blinked, and looked at his food in confusion. “Then...where did I buy this food…?” I open my mouth to reply but was distracted when trainer Trixie fell to the floor and started snoring. Blinking a few times I lift the shake up to my nose and took a few sniffs.

“Drugged. Looks like they set a trap hoping to knock you out and have their way with you.” I say as I send the shake to the trash.

“Oh….” Bronze stood still in contemplation for a moment, and shrugged, sipping more shake. “I’m immune to sedatives and tranquilizers, even before my ascension or even before I stopped being human.” Bronze lifted a bun off a hayburger, revealing some powder that he blew off and proceeded to eat the burger anyway. “Made medicating for insomnia or hospital stays a bitch. Especially since they have the opposite effect and wake me up.”

“Too bad. You look like you could really use a good nap. I already took care of the angry ghosts that were tormenting you. It’s safe now.” I say to him. How could a normal humane be immune to sedatives and tranquilizers? At those thoughts I felt foreign tissue enter my brain and immediately rejected it and killed it before forcing it out.

“By being a freak.” Bronze commented, making me blink at what he was saying. “I know what you were thinking, everyone thinks it when I tell them. I don’t know why, I just am.” He finished the burger and proceeded to sip his shake again. “Also, nice protection spells. Most beings wouldn’t even be able to detect me doing something to their bodies. Shame, that little lobe splice would’ve increased your motor functions.”

“Manipulation of flesh and bones are a big part of necromancy. And after years of being in politics I’ve learned to detect when someone tried to put something in me as well as how to get rid of it. Granted it’s normally poison. Regardless please don’t try and put anything else in me. I’ll just kill and or flush it from my body.” I say while giving him an annoyed look.

“Aw, you killed a piece of my brain. How mean~.” Bronze joked as he suddenly got next to me and pulled me into a hug. “You’re like family now!”

“Great. Once the heat’s over I’ll tell my nieces Celestia and Luna we just added to the family tree.” I say flatly.

“*PINKIE LE GASP~* You’re the aunt of this world’s versions of my aunt and mom?! You’re essentially my Grauntie!” Bronze gushed as he squeezed me with surprising strength into the hug. “I always wanted a grauntie! But they all died before I was born.” Bronze then levitated another shake in front of me but I was focused on something else.

“Ag! Can’t breath! Grauntie is a glass cannon! Stop squishing the squishy wizard!” I say as I struggled for air.

“LIFT! DO YOU EVEN?!” Bronze suddenly screamed as he warped us seamlessly into a gym somewhere, his food still present on the nearby table as he flexed his many muscles. “It is time! To pump! *clop* YOU UP!” Bronze clopped his forehooves together as the exercise junky in him took over.

My eyes widen in horror at this. Yes my magic eating built some muscle on me but only just enough where I can keep my speed and agility to dodge and out maneuver. Looking around I don’t see a single weight I could lift without magic. Seeing this I desperately cast a spell and seriously overcharged it in the name of self preservation. I am pleased to see that Bronze is not immune to sleep spells as he falls to the floor.

“Hopefully that with his exhaustion will keep him down for a while.” I say before tilting my head as I looked down at his sleeping form. Then I got an idea. An evil idea. I chuckled maniacally as I rubbed my paws together. “What kind of grauntie would I be if I didn’t give my great nephew I nice place to sleep?”


The next day.


Slowly Bronze opened his eyes as he got up from his long sleep feeling much better. He sucked on his pacifier a few times, and snorted contently as he snuggled deeper into his crib. Enjoying the soft frilly, light blue blankets. Just outside the bars on his crib was a message written in those colorful fridge magnets in the shape of letters. ‘YES THERE ARE PICTURES’.

Bronze just grinned around his pacifier, and turned over, going back to sleep, not really caring.


The next week.


“Man he must have gone a long time without sleep.” I say as I look down at the sleeping Alicorn. “I never thought that he would stay sleeping for so long that he would actually need diapers and to be fed.” I say as I lower the bottle with all the nutrients he needed which he suckled on in his sleep. “How much longer is this going to take?”


The next week.


(3rd pony POV)

Bronze yawned as he weakly opened his eyes, feeling extremely well rested, something he hadn’t experienced in months. He yawned and stretched before standing up and letting the blanket fall to the padding. He stopped however when a nasty smell reached his nose and he turned his head to look behind him and found where it was coming from. “Oh...great.” Bronze hoarsely whispered as he made the dirty diaper and it’s contents vanish somewhere never to be seen or smelled again.

Having done that Bronze looked around the large room letting him know that he had been shrunk to the size of a foal. Then his eyes fell on the magnet message from before and saw that a new message was spelled out under the old one. ‘DONT WORRY I DIDN’T CHANGE YOUR DIAPERS. YOUR MAREFRIENDS DID AFTER JEEVES BROUGHT THEM OVER’. Looking lower still he saw another message. ‘YES THEY HAVE PICTURES’.

“Aw, how sweet of her.” Bronze said earnestly, before clearing his throat, and giving a disturbingly accurate baby wail. Soon Applejack and Zecora came rushing in to see him. “Bwonze Hungwy~!”

This got them both snorting and snickering. “Good to see ya got yer rest hun. We were plum worried when that fox friend of yours told us you were in a light coma.” Applejack said as she picked the foal-sized Bronze up, and put him on her back.

“It was quite amusing how she decided to go about your care however. Nothing we would have chosen, but it worked well enough and was quite silly. We’re going to be sharing the photos she gave us with everypony.” Zecora teased, getting Bronze to snort in amusement.

“Go ahead, maybe ponies will stop giving me the royal treatment so much if I get a bit of humility out to the public.” Bronze consented. “Now then, can we get me un-shrunk so we can all go home? I’m feeling ready for some normal life after all the insanity the past few months have been. And where’s Shampoo?”

“She was here at first, but she said she couldn’t bear to see you so small and helpless or somethin’. Really she just had the biggest urge to nuzzle ya to death and was embarrassed about it.” Applejack said as she and Zecora trotted out of the room with their shrunken significant other. Soon they came across a mare in black armor with a skeletal design who was walking down the hall with a leash in her mouth attached to the neck of a deathclaw. One of those big ones from fallout 4.

“Cool~! A Deathclaw!” Bronze exclaimed as they passed. “I never thought I’d see one in real life!” The mare stopped and turned to look at Bronze before looking up to the ceiling.

“My lady the young princess is awake.” She said to thin air.

“Wait, she can hear us anywhere in her dungeon? Oh, wait! She’s a Crypt King Displaced isn’t she?! Rin! You’re so cool!” Bronze shouted up at the ceiling as a portal opened up in the ground nearby.

“Just head on in.” The knight said to the group before turning to the deathclaw. “Come on Killer. Let’s go.” She said as she led it down the hall.

“Aw~! You should’ve named him Fluffy!” Bronze shouted, getting an angry snarl from the great beast making the floor vibrate from the sonic vibration. “Oh come on bro! You have to see the beauty in it! They get killed by a big scary guy named Fluffy!”

“Maybe one of the cubs. The princess brought back other monsters when she got this one including a shapeshifter called a ditto. It’s being used to breed new ones since the princess can’t find the world this one came from. After that the ditto will be borrowed by Fluttershy so she could use it to help repopulate endangered species. That is one very happy blob.” The mare said before turning down a corner.

“...Did anypony else consider that a ditto could help boost the alicorn population?” Bronze asked as his mares went through the portal of pure darkness and came out in a palace room with Rin, Celestia, Luna and Rin’s shadow. All of them were sitting at desks going through paperwork at super speed. Because Rin was the only one that had help from her shadow she got done first before both her and her shadow laid their heads down on the same desk.

(Rin’s POV)

“I hate paperwork.” I grumbled and my shadow nodded in agreement. “And I’m a Dungeon Keeper displaced.” I say showing that I did hear what Bronze said inside My dungeon. “As for the ditto. It isn’t happening. This world doesn't need to mass produce gods because any race has the potential to ascend.” I then got up and stretched allowing my bones to pop. “I take it you’re ready to grow up?” Before Bronze could answer he was lifted off of Applejack’s back in a blue aura and pulled towards Luna who swiftly caught him and started snuggling him while giving him what to him at his size is a crushing hug.

“Nay! Not yet! We have yet to play with him while he is awake!” Luna declared.

“Yay! I get to play with an alternate universe version of my mom!” Bronze weathered the hug with glee as he hugged Luna’s neck.

“Ah swear colt, ya just keep things so interesting’.” Applejack chortled as Zecora grinned at the sight while I and my shadow double both facepaw hard at this.

“Aunty would you mind?” Luna asked me while gesturing to her remaining paperwork.

“Oh no you don’t. That’s your work and I’m sure Bronze won’t mind waiting just a short while longer. Besides you won’t have any work to do after that until sunset.” I say in an annoyed tone.

“Well can we at least use thy playroom?” Luna asked and I just summoned up a variety of toys including Bouncy the undead bouncy ball which immediately started bouncing around the room on its own getting an annoyed grunt from Celestia as she was finishing up her paperwork at superspeed.

“Hey~ it’s okay Aunt Tia. You’ll find somepony someday.” Bronze said consolingly as he warped onto her head, easily draping on her neck with his chest between her ears as he patted her brow. “My mom had me with a minotaur essentially, so who knows what darling little thing will come from whatever union you end up having? Also you have Internet now, so you can just do all your paperwork electronically.”

“NO!” I shout as I look at him with a glare. Dark magic radiating off the sides of my eyes. “Don’t you dare! No internet!” I shout causing Celestia and Luna to jump in surprise.

“Aw, but it’s magically censored to blur out information that immature or otherwise innocent people don’t know from real life yet.” Bronze pouted, making a puppy-dog pout not at me, but at Luna. “Please mom? Convince grauntie to let your world advance into the realm of gaming so she could spread awareness of her profession?”

Luna looked between me and Bronze. “We don’t know. Aunty Rin would do many things that ponies in general would consider immoral such as creating undead or placing curses on those she doesn’t like without a second thought. If she is so against this it must be bad.” Luna said with a frown.

“It’s essentially freely sharing information. The changelings in my world are already coming out of hiding because ponies are educating themselves and are more aware of other species instead of isolating themselves with doubt and fear. Also the porn. So much porn for the adults.” Bronze then beamed as a certain song started up. “The internet is really, really great~!”

“... That song was so wrong. I agree with aunty Rin I’m not exposing children to anything that could give them clop.” Celestia said with a deep frown.

“But I just said it’s magically censored.” Bronze tilted his head down at Celestia from his spot still on her head.

“It’s not the idea of the internet that I take issue with it’s what’s on it. If we get internet in this world it will need to be a blank slate with nothing from other worlds. Then we can add to it information of this world.” I say to everyone. “Besides I can assure you if our Twilight gets internet from another world she will relapse making all of Dr. Wolf’s work void.

“So just MS Dos? Kay, sure, done. You now have an empty internet server with no connection to the original. Oh, and Rin, be sure to check some of your empty rooms, had Jeeves dump some video game and computer caches in them. As for Twilight, my Twilight’s the one who made the magic conversions of the whole thing, and it’s thanks to it she got the courage to come out of the closet about her relationship with my Trixie. Also yeah...she needs to not be reading her tablet all the time whenever she’s not spending time with any of us.” Bronze shrugged. “I warned her, but she had to get a taste when she invaded my privacy and discovered pony porn on Earth’s internet somehow. No clue how she found it. Oh, and this Doctor Wolf? Bronze asked as Dr. Wolf was suddenly on Celestia’s back. “Hi Doctor Nick!”

“My Twilight will be worse than yours trust me. The first time she met another Displaced she chopped off a large chunk of his leg with a bone saw because she wanted to get a look at his insides.” I say with a deadpan.

“Wow. Yeah, my Twilight only cut off a good portion of my first Displaced’s tail for the same reason or something.” Bronze informed. “And she was exposed to the internet before canon apparently or something, I don’t know, she goes on and on about the continuity and me bucking it up just by existing.” Bronze shrugged.

“Mine was aiming for the Displaced’s chest. Autopsy style.” I say flatly. “Regardless no exposing my world’s ponies to any of the internet of earth.” I sigh before looking to Celestia and Luna. “Don’t worry I’ll protect you. Earth internet has worse knowledge than the Necronomicon!” I say summoning that very book which started looking around at everyone.

“Like how females can potentially assexually reproduce by self-cloning!” Bronze randomly informed getting perplexed looks from my girls.

“That’s not what I was talking about but sure let’s go with that.” I deadpanned as the undead book in my paws give Applejack and Zecora an evil look like a serial killer that found his next victims making the two sidestep to the furthest corner of the room from the book made from pony flesh.

“Oh hey! I’ve got one of those!” Bronze boasted as a Door opened nearby, tossing a similar thick tome also bound in flesh out before slamming shut. “Don’t know if it works though, you can have it either way. Jeeves says it irritates him.”

“FUK YER MUTHA!” The plain flesh-bound book shouted in an usually likeable Irish accent even though unlike mine it didn’t have a face or anything. Instead it spoke by opening and closing like a mouth.

“Such a kidder!” Bronze laughed. I was about to comment when Equestria’s magic kicked in and started producing music. While the music was playing red cartoonish hearts started floating up from both books as they looked at each other.

“Awwww isn’t that sweet?” Luna gushed.

“You’re worrying me Luna. First you kept that blanket the Juggernaut made from the skin he ripped off our bodies again and again and now you think that is sweet?” Celestia said as she gestures to the books.

“Wait you kept that thing?” I asked Luna while giving her a strange look.

“What? We have very soft and comfy coats.” Luna said with a shrug. “Besides say what you will about him but Juggernaut is a great seamster.”

“You preach for practicality ma! I have a badass outfit-slash-portable blanket made from the corpse of my first kill. Of course, it was a manticore, but still.” Bronze stated as he was snuggling a completely bewildered Dr. Wolf on the clean side of Celestia’s desk. “Your fur is so soft~.”

“What’s going on? How did I get here?” Dr. Wolf asked as he looks around in surprise as suddenly being in this new location without warning.

“I brought you here silly! I’m here to help you further understand the futility of life.” Bronze said with a disturbingly dark and raspy voice. “By making you my snuggle friend until mom finishes her paperwork.”

“What? No! I was in the middle of a session with Twilight! You can’t just pull me out of my office while I’m working!” Dr. Wolf yelled.

“Hi Twilight! You’ve suddenly been relocated! Tell me, how does that make you feel?” Bronze asked from Dr. Wolf’s chair as Twilight in the patient bed was also suddenly in the room, blinking at the situation as Bronze was laying on Dr. Wolf’s side as Bronze scratched Wolf’s ears.

“What? What’s going on!? Was that a teleport? No that was too smooth. It was almost like the space I was in just moved. But that level of magic is so advanced only four unicorns in all of recorded history were ever able to pull it off!” Twilight yelled as a few of her hairs popped up.

“Yes, yes. Very good. Let your mind wander, accept things as they are and simply meditate on the issue. It will come much smoother.” Bronze advised as he appeared on Twilight’s back, soothingly brushing her mane with a large comb that I recognized from Celestia’s personal bathroom. Slowly Twilight turned her head and looked at the foal sized alicorn on her back with that creepy lesson zero smile she had when she tried to seduce the CMC with her doll.

“Why….hello there.” Twilight said with hunger.

“Yes, hello there! Feel free to rip my beating heart from my chest!” Bronze hammed as he moved to the couch and easily pulled his ribcage open to reveal his internal organs as if he just pulled open a seam on his body. “No really, feel free!” Bronze then jabbed a hoof into his torso, and yanked his still-beating heart out, the way it jumped and fluxed with his pulse still as not even a drop of blood came from it was incredibly fascinating. Well, to me and Twilight at least. Without thinking Twilight summoned up a large number of very sharp looking surgical tools.

Bronze meanwhile was chowing down a whole fish almost a third the size of his body. “Go ahead girl! Get it outta your system! I’m building a new heart with this fish anyway. Consider it a gesture of Friendship.”

“What are you doing! Stop indulging her! Feeding her desire here will hurt her not help her!” Dr. Wolf shouted as he punched Bronze on the head Anime style, viciously ripping his head free of his body, spraying blood everywhere as the head flew across the room and landed with a splat on a far wall. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Dr. Wolf screamed in a panic. “I, I didn’t mean to.” He said shakily once he regained his ability to speak.

You’ve! Killed! Me~!” Bronze suddenly hammed as his body pointed at Dr. Wolf, before seeming to melt into bubbling black sludge and sinking into the couch, leaving a beating cartoon heart in his place.

“Bronze stop breaking Twilight and her shrink.” I say in annoyance as I create a portal and drop Twilight and the doctor in. “I’ll bring you back when he’s gone!” I shouted into the hole before closing it.

“Where did you send them?” Celestia asked.

“Oh I just dumped them off in the shadow realm. He can’t get them their.” I answer with a wave of my paw.

“It’s me Bruce.” Suddenly came Morgan Freeman’s voice as a pale white Bronze about half the size of before appeared wearing a white tieless suit on Celestia’s desk.

“What?” Said a normal but still smaller Bronze wearing a plaid white and gray vest from Luna’s desk.

“I’m god.” Said the Morgan Freeman Bronze.

“BINGO! Yahtzee! Survey says! GOD! Bing-ming-ming-ming-ming!” The Bruce Bronze said before both melted and merged back into a foal-sized normal Bronze on Luna’s table who began laughing hysterically. “Their expressions! Now Twilight will be more wary of just going postal on someone at seeing the horrific results, and the good Doctor now has experience with feeling true life-destroying regret! Horrible but worthwhile character building experiences abound!”

“Wait did he just do something else to them?” Celestia asked aloud.

“No he can’t. Space magic can’t access the shadow realm nor can it even work there. It has no space.” I reply. “He was talking about what he did to them before I sent the two away.” After I said that Luna picked up the small alicorn before summoning the paddle engineered for spanking gods.

“Bad colt!” Luna chastised as she placed Bronze over her knee. “We do not torment good people! That went too far to be a prank!”

“Ha-ha-ha! That was no prank! That was me helping them! Twilight will walk away scarred, learning a valuable lesson on self-restraint, and the good Doctor is now more aware of how dangerous he is. I didn’t have to fake anything for that situation! The good Doctor really did knock my block off! Ha-ha!”

Rin! Rin get me out of here! Twilight is trying to dissect me! My eyes widen in horror as I create a portal and pull out a badly bleeding Dr. Wolf. Quickly I hit him with the heal spell to stop the blood.

“Or considering what she just saw, Twilight might actually be driven to intrigue over the good Doctor’s shocking level of physical prowess. Hm-hm. Sometimes, ponies don’t need a shrink to see how messed up they are. They need cold hard life to pour ice down their backs.” Bronze maliciously grinned, his swirling eyes spinning as his long fangs glinted. “Tell me Doctor. Did she have a joyful gleam in her eyes as she cut into you? Or did she stop smiling? Look scared? If the former...well...that mare needs more than you to help her.”


Somewhere in the city of Prance


‘Wack wack wack wack wack!’ Everypony in the city looked up in confusion while every naughty child covered their rears at the sound that they were all too familiar with that echoed off the walls.


Back in the palace.


“C’mon ma! Harder! I cut off all feeling to my body shortly before you started!” Bronze cheered the infuriated Luna on, while his marefriends were both cringing off to the side. At this I created another portal and pulled out the sobbing Twilight that was curled up in a ball before creating another portal under Luna allowing both her and Bronze to fall in before closing it.


The Shadow Realm.


“Just so you know Rin, I literally severed all my nerves from the neck down, so you’ve gotta fix that first if you want me to feel it.” Bronze informed me when he saw me follow shortly after. I just hit him with a heal spell causing his already blistered butt to burn before Luna raised the paddle once again. ‘BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!’ The explosive sound of a paddle breaking the sound barrier overpowered the sound of paddle hitting cheeks.

“YOW! WOO! AH! THANKS!” Bronze shouted with a demented grin. “I’m all kinds of screwy in the head since the Windigo invasion. Sometimes a good paddling is necessary.”

“Discorded or not, thou hadst no right to do such twisted things!” Luna roared down at the formerly adorable colt that now seemed a Discord in miniature.

“Oh, boo hoo. Did you see Twilight? Broken? You first must break some eggs to make an omelet. I’d be surprised if she ever loses control again after an event like that. And if she and the good Doctor can get past this, their Friendship will become stronger. A true friend weathers through adversity. What better adversity than both experiencing violent psychotic breaks and potentially accepting and helping each other?” Bronze asked rhetorically as the left half of his face went numb and his tongue hung out. “Oh hoy...hairs huh haralysis.”

“...Noble butler! We wish to speak to ourselves in Bronze’s world!” Luna shouted out making me facepaw.

“Luna remember why we brought him here for his spanking in the first place?” I asked Luna. Luna just looks at me questioningly. Loading, loading, done. She faced hooves. “Send us back please. But leave him here until we get back! He’s in time out!” Luna declared as she pushes him aside and lets him float there before vanishing in a shadow.

“Hon’t hurry, I’ll he right here.” Bronze assured cheerfully.

“I’m surprised she hasn’t learned how to make her own shadow portals. It would be easy with her special talent.” I say halfheartedly. “I think I’ll teach your Luna if she can’t either in case she needs to put you in time out as well.”

“Honsidering gnopogny cang congcain ngee hight how, hat’s a hood igea.” Bronze admitted.

“What filled you with so much hate anyways. All of those ghosts in your domain were on the verge of becoming wendigos. What was so bad that you would bring about the revival and creation of so many?” I asked.

Simply asking caused a tangible aura of pure hatred and angst to flow off the tiny paralyzed stallion like heat from a raging bonfire, if said bonfire was ice cold. “...HRISHTNGASH~!”

“... can you repeat that?” I ask as I focus the heal spell on his mouth.

“CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS~!” Bronze screamed so hatefully and so loudly, that ice blue letters formed in the shadows.

Bronze Vs. Christmas

“...Okay. I don’t get it. Why don’t you think of Halloween instead? Maybe that will calm you down. Better not tell him about the family tradition of Santa Paws.

...Hm, hm, hm, hmm-hm-hmm, hmm~.” Bronze hummed with a smile.

“...You know I just realized Luna has no way of contacting me to let them in when I’m on this side so I’ll wait for them back home.” I say as I disappear into the shadows. Once I’m back outside I shake my head. “Who gets that worked up over Christmas!?” I cry out with tears in my eyes. “It’s one of the best times of the year!”

“In Bronze’s experience, Christmas was an example of all things wrong in his old world.” Zecora said as she and Applejack helped keep Dr. Wolf and Twilight calm as they shivered and tried not to look at each other.

“Way he tells it, his world cared nothin’ fer the fellow pony, only the bottom bit. He said by the time he was born, magic was gone from the world, and it was just a dyin’ husk of nothing but empty dreams and false promises.” Applejack added as she kept Twilight in a powerful hug.

“Not to mention that just from his new mother pulling the moon closer, his people sought out their own doom, burning themselves to death out of baseless paranoia and spite.” Zecora finished as she hugged the whimpering Dr. Wolf. “it was what finally cemented his hatred for his world.”

“She did what!?” I shouted. “That!...Explains all of the drowning I experienced.”

“Drownings?” Celestia asked after getting over the horrible news when she heard I might have suffered.

“When I first stepped into Bronze’s domain my extensive experience with necromancy and sensitivity to the dead hit me hard. Almost all those people that died in those times became angry ghosts and I was overwhelmed. As a result I got to experience the last moments of every single one. Man, woman and child. It took a while from my perspective and a lot of them hurt a lot.” I reply and the next moment I was clutched in the powerful hug of Celestia as she started to cry for me. “P-Please! I need air!” I cried out as I struggled. “Come on Celestia that was far from the worst experience I’ve ever had so please calm down!” Suddenly Celestia froze and looked down at me.

“...There was something worse than that?” She asked as she looked even more upset.

“...no. I was just trying to calm you down. Sorry I didn’t think that one through.” I lied. Not wanting to make this worse. “Oh look a door! Let’s all focus on that!” I say as I point to Bronze’s front door that appeared out of nowhere which opened to reveal two Lunas and Jeeves, but the other Luna was as big as Celestia, and looked more like Nightmare Moon but with much better hair, since it was like a curtain into the cosmos with galaxies and nebula floating through it.. “Um...Celestia can you let me go now?” I ask which got a confused look from my Luna who was used to Celestia being so in control. Celestia stopped and looked around before giving me a look.

‘We are going to talk about this later.’ Before putting me down and without skipping a beat put her mask she shows the public back on and gave everyone a serene smile.

“I have brought Prince Bronze’s mother as per request. Please see to it that he gets some chastisement that will make it through. Being the Sane Third of him is getting tiring.” Jeeves commented before he closed the door, and it vanished.

“Right. After you’ve spoken with him I would like to teach you how to make portals to the shadow realm. Space magic doesn’t work there and I feel you will need to make good use of it as a time out corner when he gets out of control in the future.” I say to the larger Luna.

“Verily, thou hast quite the astute idea. We are currently without the ability to restrain him, so having a way would be quite appreciated.” Night-Luna said as she turned to her smaller counterpart. “Now as we were saying. Thou should indeed consider a noble hound of the highlands for a suitor. Sif was a very efficient and enjoyable lover for the time we had with him.” Night-Luna said making my Luna Blush.

“Alright let’s go to the shadow realm and not talk about my niece getting laid in front of me.” I say with a frown as I create a portal and gesture for them to enter.


The Shadow Realm.


“There~ you are~. Come back to the cage? Another nana disappeared…. Now the grandson carries a cage~. He will ever have his cage~. Now nana’s never coming back. So come into the cage and become nana’s shade.” Bronze eerily sing-songed as his swirling eyes span faster.

“...I haven’t kept him in here that long I swear!” I said to Night-Luna after watching Bronze for a moment of crazy.

“We art afraid Discord’s influence is at hoof. Ever since the Winter Witch’s attempted invasion on Hearth’s Warming-.” Night-Luna paused to let Bronze scream out in pure rage for a moment. “-His statue has shown increasing levels of Chaos magic leaking, and his eyes are ever telling. The last to have those eyes was the final Acolyte of Chaos before he was decapitated for his crimes.”

“Bronze, Your mom is here to talk to you… well moms. So let’s put the sing along songs on hold for a moment okay?” I ask with a friendly smile.

“Who are you to speak Christmas Lover?!” Bronze hissed angrily as he suddenly started swimming through the darkness towards me like it was water. “I’ll suck your blood out!”

“Son, no draining good people dry. Save it for the death-row inmates and your prey.” Night-Luna chastised as she stuck out her armored left foreleg and intercepted his inches-long teeth before he could reach me.

“What happened to grauntie?” I asked sadly. Even if we hadn’t known each other that long I’ve already grown attached to the addition to the family.

“Don’t let it get to thee fair fox. Bronze is simply needing his medication, which he hast obviously forgotten with the heat cycle and being separated from us for a prolonged period without dosage. Thou'rt lucky he didn’t rip thine spine out or something to play pool with.” Night-Luna said as she produced a quick-eject syringe from her satchel.

“That would have been very disagreeable yes.” I agree with a nod as I help restrain his movement to allow his mother to stick him with the needle in his neck. It was thankfully easy to overpower him when he can’t use his space magic.

“So that’s it? Surely thou are working on a more permanent solution?” My Luna asked with worry as her larger counterpart pulled the needle out of Bronze’s neck and I let him go a respectable distance from me..

“Until Discord inevitably breaks free, and we hopefully have the Elements prepared to pacify him for negotiation, my son is to remain one of the Mad. He simply needs an injection of this serum once per week to maintain his decorum otherwise.” Night-Luna sadly informed as Bronze suddenly began panting, sweating, and hissing in pain.

“Ah! AH~!” Bronze screamed in utter agony, crying as his eyes stopped spinning and he writhed pitifully in the non-air of the pure darkness.

“It is excruciating. Having one’s mind forcibly drawn back from the bliss of Madness. The only reason he was sane after two months of incarceration after the event that caused his lunacy was because that serum was laced into his medicine.” Night-Luna wilted at the sight as I pull a cup from the shadows and grabbed Bronze in one of my tails before I start channeling my magic and the screaming stopped as slowly the red glow of liquid pain started to drip into the cup.

“I’m loving this spell more and more. Liquid Pain takes all of the pain from the target of the spell and converts it into this substance. It’s a pain killer that requires no drugs to complicate things.” I say as I show her the slowly filling glass.

“Woulds’t thou teach us that spell? Our son’s reaction to the injection gets worse every time, and it’s only been the third time he’s received it.” Night-Luna practically pleaded as Bronze groaned.

“I guess if you can handle dark magic. This is necromancy and it can be dangerous for those not trained to use it. I would prefer to enchant a container to work the spell.” I say.

“Mom? Where are we?” Bronze asked weakly as the glow of his eye swirls finished dimming to nothing, leaving just the swirls as still as ever.

“Someplace safe son. I can do it Princess Rin. I must.” Night-Luna stated with resolve that only a parent could have.

“Very well. However I must insist on one condition. Every drop of liquid pain created with this spell must be sent to me. It can be used to power up my dark magic but the biggest reason is I don’t want that stuff out there. Aside for its uses magicly this stuff is an extremely potent and highly addictive drug. You understand?” I ask Night-Luna while giving her a very serious expression.

“Of course. As Nightmare, we had the foalish action of raising dead before. Now we seek to turn said magic towards a more constructive purpose. Learning from a master necromancer would only aid on that path.” Night-Luna said seriously as she levitated her son over to her. “Now apologize to thine God-Grauntie son, for thine malicious and uncouth behavior.”

“Sorry Grauntie Rin, for anything I might’ve done.” Bronze apologized feebly, looking both confused and scared, and fragile at his current size. Snorting I placed my paw on him and grew him back to his normal height.

“I guess I can’t blame you too much as you were not in control of your actions. Also I got lots of pictures of you small and in baby clothes and your marefriends babying you to add to the album so I can show everyone.” I say to Bronze as I ruffle his mane.

“Okay. Love you Grauntie.” Bronze kissed me on the cheek and nuzzled me before he looked around. “What is this place? It feels...wrong.”

“It should for you. Me and your mom are stronger here but for you the Shadow realm is your kryptonite. All shadows lead to the Shadow realm but like them it holds no space. You are completely cut off from your space magic because it can’t work in a place that has no space. You’re here because you went too far and you needed a timeout and a spanking.” I answered as I watch him give this place a weary look.

“Yeah...that sounds about right. Here I’m not seeing things from an omni-dimensional perspective. I don’t see seams in everything because there’s nothing to see. I don’t feel like I can just...fade into nothing if I let down my guard here. It’s...nice.” Bronze admitted with a weak and tired expression that made him seem older than his mom and aunt combined. “Huh...so this is what it felt like? Being normal?”

“Well I’m going to teach your mom how to create shadow portals. She can use it to travel anywhere on her world as fast as you can provided there is a shadow there. Or stop half way to send you here. Just in case. So if you feel you need it you can ask her to let you come here if you ever need to clear your head.” I say with a smile.

“Hey, thanks. I appreciate it.” Bronze kissed me on the cheek again, before he sighed. “But I’ve been away from home long enough I guess?” Bronze asked his mom, who nodded.

“Tis only been a few days since the heat ended for us, but even then thou’st been gone for over a week and a half.” Night-Luna confirmed before turning to me. “We shalt return on occasion for lessons, time does not matter between our universe and others, so we could stay here as long as necessary and return home mere moments after we’d left, so do not be surprised if we drop in unexpectedly.” I nod at this before giving her a serious look.

“I’ve only taken three students in my life but I’ve never taught any strictly dark magic spells like Liquid Pain before. Only how to use dark magic without losing control. You can already do this? No matter how much you chanel?” I ask her, getting a nod. “I have pushed my skills in necromancy in all of it’s applications. But what I focused on most off all where it’s healing applications. If you truly wish to use this magic to help others then I will show you how to mend flesh and bone back together like putting two legos together You will be able to purge any poison or foreign objects from the body and keep them alive. And once you are skilled enough I will teach you a death spell. This spell kills discriminately. Mastering this spell will let you cast it on anyone leaving them unharmed but killing any sickness even those deemed incurable inside them. However have a bathroom ready because that spell makes all of the food passing through them rotten so the body will work to eject it fast.” I tell her.

“Hm, our son has such an ability himself, being able to do so our self would be quite a good thing.”

“Mom, healing is different from my magic. I just literally fuse atoms and molecules together to make everything work in a cohesive manner.” Bronze shook his head. With a nod I create a shadow portal and send Bronze and my Luna through before closing it.

“Let’s get those two spells done now before you go. First, Liquid Pain.” I say as I toss her a bottle.


A few hours later in the palace.


Everyone was sitting around having tea except for Celestia because it was time for her to take court. As Zecora was pouring another cup she looked down and watched as her shadow elongated and grew fatter until it was easily long enough for Night-Luna to pass through. She had some difficulty at first getting her wide flanks through, but managed to climb up all the same. Shortly after she got out I hopped out like it was no problem.

“Good. I think you got it down well enough to practice it on your own now.” I say approvingly with a smile and a nod. I look up at the grandfather clock on the wall and frown. “Looks like it’s almost time for my turn to fend off the parasites.” I say in annoyance.

“Hey, Grauntie. As a farewell apology, I could warp them all to a deserted island in the west ocean. Inhabited by seaponies.” Bronze suggested from his place laying on the therapist couch, both Twilight and Dr. Wolf cuddling together on top of him.

“No. That would be cruelty to seaponies.” I say dismissively. “Besides they are still miffed at me about the Morgan Freeman curse I placed on all of them.”

“...Say what?” Oh no, here we go, should’ve known better than to bring it up what with him pulling a Morgan Freeman voice out earlier. “BRONZE WANT! Cast please! Or teach! Want to troll so much!”

“Son.” Night-Luna said with a dangerous tone, getting the Discorded stallion to calm right back down in a cowed and submissive state. “Apologies. He so does love his movies.”

“I’m more curious about what’s going on here. I thought those two would be scared of each other for weeks, or months.” I comment, pointing out Dr. Wolf and Twilight, who seemed incredibly at ease atop their tormentor and snuggling each other at that. Aw, it was like a filly snuggling her pet dog.

“Shortly after Bronze came back he apologized and he admitted his own mental failings. When that still didn’t work we hit them with a sleep spell.” Luna said.

“...And you put them with each other. Stupidest idea ever. Let them ease into it.” I say as I separate the two and send Twilight home through a portal. “Well it’s time for me to take court and I imagine you guys want to go home. So I wish you a safe trip and a reformed Discord to fix your problem.” I say that last one to Bronze but look to the others and open my forelegs. “Group goodbye hug? It will help my mood for what I’m about to deal with.”

Aw, big group hug! Group Hug! Oh~! Mind if I kiss the monkey? *SMOOCH-HAK* Oh, hairball!” Bronze shouted out excitedly as he and the other visitors were suddenly in my embrace each of us with an impossible number of Bronze’s forelegs hugging us, and a head that sprouted from one next to me kissed me and hacked up a brown hairball away from us.

“...My fur is white.” I say with a deadpan before shaking my head with a smile. “Oh well. See you all later.” I say as I let them go and Bronze’s front Door appeared and opened wide for them to go home. I gave them one last farewell wave as most of them walked through the door except for Bronze who was being carried in his mother’s magical grasp. With a sigh I left the room through one of my portals and entered the throne room and took a seat on the new throne that we had made because we never did find the old one.

“Alright I’m ready. Bring on the nobles.” I call out. Slowly the large doors opened and in walked a very nervous looking guard.

“Um...about that your majesty… Well the line of nobles kind of...disappeared.”

“...What?” I say flatly. I told him not to send them to the Sea Pony Island!. I thought to myself. Luckily I know where that is so I close my eyes and use the sight of evil spell. Hmmmm. He didn’t send them there. But then where did he send them? As I thought of all of the headaches this is going to cause in the future my right eye twitched as my irritation grew.

“Faust dammit Bronze!”


In the Savannahs of Zebrica


“Run colt! RUN!” A fitter noble screamed at his more portly compatriot as the herd of screaming nobles were being chased by a female manticore, several zebra tribes-ponies valiantly chasing said beast to save them.

“Th-this is the end! I sacrifice myself to save you all!” The fat stallion melodramatically screamed as he turned about-face and ran angrily at the beast, only for a giant spear to shaft it through the neck and send it crashing to the ground, barely missing him.

“Fine you be, from your swift flee? We gave chase, but we are surprised you managed such a pace.” Said a large muscular zebra mare who trotted to the stunned and heavily dressed fat stallion. “Are you well? You look like you must rest a spell.”

“...Marry me?” The stallion suddenly asked in surprise, and the mare blinked in bewilderment.

Laying Down With the Enemy.

View Online

"...So you accept princess Rin as a higher authority because Princess Celestia said so?" Lyra asked in bewilderment.

"Of course." Blueblood replied. "A royal can't be wrong and the higher the royal the less wrong they are." Lyra had to take a moment to process the prince's 'interesting' logic.

"So... that would mean she is more right than you. Even though she just came out of nowhere?" Lyra asked but Blueblood just shook his head with a frown.

"Unfortunately yes. But I don't mind that much relay. She did give me a new sky boat that makes all others I've seen look like a filthy old wagon. It was a thank you gift for saving her from being shot in the head from an assassination attempt. And she didn't come from nowhere. I had my servants look through the history books after she showed up and she is there. Though only in the oldest texts. And I have seen her as a statue in the garden many times in the past I just didn't know she was alive and not just a big rock." Blueblood said with a dismissive wave of his hoof. That can't be right. The heroes kept records from day one and nothing ever mentioned the fox. At those thoughts however a new question set in. But she was a statue and it had to be the Elements. So wouldn't there be something? Lyra then looked up to see an annoyed Blueblood.

"Oh, I'm sorry?" She asked with a sheepish smile.

"I said I have business to take care of and more importantly this conversation has strayed away from the topic of me so I'll be going now." Blueblood sad before walking off in a way that made Lyra think she had offended him. In reality he would never have talked to her when she tried to speak to him but his aunt Celestia had asked him to and to make sure not to end the conversation until she had asked and gotten answers to the right questions. And as soon as the last one was crossed off the list he couldn't get out of there fast enough. Now that Lyra was alone she thought for a moment before walking over to the room she has been taking tea in of late but in reality she used the rooms proximity to the throne and her sound magic to eavesdrop whenever the fox took court.


(Rin's POV)


"This is a very impressive resume Mr. Physics and you answered my questions satisfactorily. Though you aren't eligible for the lich position because you listed the location of your body and its condition as N/A I would love to have you working in my lab." I say with a smile as I extend my paw to shake his see through hoof. The ghost that had been a bundle of metaphorical nerves throughout the interview gladly shook my paw sealing the deal. "Now I'm going to send you to a room filled with life sized mad scientist dolls to use for bodies. Get used to moving around in them for now and you will be given the full tour and start work later today." I continue once I feel the link making him mine before sending him to my dungeon. Because Celestia had done such a good job securing her ponies loyalty the only unicorn I was able to attract was Trixie and it's been long enough for me to look elsewhere. In this case I used a spell from the Necronomicon to advertise to the dead.

"Next!" I call out in a cheery voice. After Bronze's little stunt the nobles avoid me like the plague and only the bravest would came to my court now. And since Celestia said I have to do it anyways or I get no dessert for a month I'm using this to get more researchers. As I watch the doors open a low fog enters the room. Mr. Freeze and Claw who were acting as my body guards while my Epics work on their training got ready for any act of violence. I wonder how they're doing in their training.


With a final roar the beast fell to the cave floor dead. "Yes!" Bloody Horns shouted with a fist pump while the monster as well as the environment dissolved back into a stadium. "We didn't lose anyone so I think we can move up in level now." He said as he walked over to the controls set so players wouldn't have to leave the game to change settings. "Let's try jumping a few to a C rank threat." At his words the others gave him a look.

"That is too far a jump from what we just fought. We're getting better but we should take it slower." Unyielding said aloud.

"Ya man we can't win against something like that. Not as we are." Vinyl agreed getting a snort from the giant of a minotaur as he pressed the start button.

"You sell us all short. Besides it's just rank C. There is still rank B, A and S. So we could at least... Where is Trixie?" He asked as he looked around only for them to spot the mare in the seats waving down at them. "Coward! Come down here!" He shouted up to her. "Come on what's the worst thing that could come out?!" As soon as he said that the arena changed to look like the ruins of a modern city with a large crater in the middle with what looked like a dead human sitting in a pool of his own blood. The human wore blue tights with a red cape and a crest with a red 'S' on his chest.

"Enemy randomization selection confirmed." Rin's recorded voice echoed inside the game as a large grey humanoid with bone protrusions sticking out all over his body materialized in front of them and a life bar appeared over its head. "Doomsday."


...Well at least he'll learn in a controlled environment. I think as I watch the dramatic entrance of the next ghost. He glided across the fog with grace. His wizard's hat tilted to cover the upper part of his face to make himself look more mysterious.

"Jingles!" I cry out happily making the ghost fall forward face planting into the ground before righting himself. Before he could do anything however I used my magic to pull him in making him scream in panic as he tried to drag himself away from me by trying to grab the floor with his incorporeal hooves. He gives out a grunt as I take him in a crushing hug which he tries to struggle out of. But so long as I have my necromancy he may as well be soled flesh and bone.

"Oh by Celestia I've forgotten how childish you are!" The ghost complains as he struggled in vane to get away but I won't let go. In fact I squeeze tighter locking him in place. "And my name is Starswirl!"

"I've missed you so much Jingles!" I say excitedly as I rub my cheek against his making him grumble. "Are you here to get your old job back? I'm so happy!" As I say this I lean back in the throne while holding on to the ghost in my outstretched paws like a kid would hold a teddy they were talking to.

"...put me down."

"I don't want to."

"Can't you even take a job interview seriously?"

"I can. You're hired!" I say as I pull the papers he dropped when I pulled him in and look them over. "And you know where your body is! And it's in good shape! I see lichdom in your future!"

"Now hold on! I have a condition to coming to work for you!" Jingles shouted causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I'll only come back if you stop calling me Jingles and use my real name!"

"Nope." I say with a huge grin making him deflate in my paws. "You and I both know you can't resist the chance to study things from other worlds regardless of what I call you. And you will always be my Jingles!" I say as I start petting his head with one paw. His mouth opened and closed a few times before his head slumps in defeat after I had just called his bluff.

"Fine. You're lucky that I respect you as a fellow mage." He grumbled irritably.

"You know that none can stay mad at my adorable fluffiness." I say as I send a mental command to some of my imps and the directions given for Jingles remains. "So, ready to sell your soul to me?" I ask teasingly as I hold a paw in front of him which he shakes. "Next." I say with a smile. Jingles tried to get up and leave but I didn't let go. Confused he looked back up at me as I lay him on my lap and start petting him like he was a cat.

"...Are you...petting me?" Jingles asked.

"Yes" I reply.

"...stop it."

"Fine. Spoil sport." I say as I let him leave. When I look to the door I am surprised when in place of a ghost I get a group of Zebras and one chubby unicorn.

"Please tell me they were not lies. A goddess of darkness before our eyes?" One said excitedly. Looking over them I see child like wonder in their eyes. A few of them had also already visited the gift shop meant for tourists because they were cuddling figurines of me. Wait. They have boles attached to the front of them...Those are idols. They made idols of me without my permission. I resist the urge to fidget uncomfortably at this situation. I can't say I'm surprised that the zebras are excited. They are much like earth ponies except that they found a way to use magic by using dark magic's hungry nature and some runes to suck magic out of the land and pump them into plants which they dry and grind into powder that can be used to cast spells. I didn't answer. I just gave them a Celestia approved smile.

"I just wanted to thank you." The pony among them said to me. "You allowed me to meet the mare of my dreams." He gestured to a zebra that looked like she could take on Big Mac in a hoof wrestling contest and win.

"Though he quickly asked that we be wed to rush in I do dread. But to save his friends he was willing to die and that was enough to catch my eye." The zebra mare said while pressing up against him.

"Well I'm happy for you two but that wasn't me. My great nephew who is a god of space did that." I say sheepishly.

"A blessing it was that makes us smile and travel to see you over many a mile. We bow upon a humble knee to ask for your favor you see." A mare in there group asked as they bowed to me.

"Okay." I say simply making their eyes sparkle with joy. It's not like I could correct them. Firstly because the girls stuck their necks out for me when they told the world I was a goddess and secondly because it would break the zebra's little hearts. After all as far as I know none of the gods of this world favor them so they are the only ones that had to make do on their own which I respect them for. And I can at least help them out one way. It was common practice for gods to give gifts to help the people they favor. Some give blessings some give blessed items. While they were groveling my focus was in my dungeon where I was creating a gift for them and using a large portion of my reserves to give good enchantments.

It was a large fountain with foxes playing. I couldn't use conjured water because having fluids suddenly disappear from your body isn't healthy. So the water will be summoned from deep under the sea where the water pressure will allow the water to gush through. The second lair of enchantments will purify the water sending the salt or anything else that comes through back to the ocean. The next enchantment will give that water vitamins to boost the immune system and help their bodies grow stronger. And the last enchantment the water goes through before leaving the fountain will suck up any dark magic still in the water leaving only the healthy, vitamin enriched water. Now where to put it. I thought as I summoned a map and used it with my sight of evil spell to find a good spot in the middle of their country that not only had a prime landscape but also a layline to power the fountain and make it easier to make their magic powder.

"Listen closely my little ones." Wow that felt wearied to say. I thought to myself as I point to the map. "Here you will find a gift. A fountain that will give never ending water that well help those who drink it stay healthy and strong. Creatures I control will dig a path for this water to reach your settlements but I want you and the other tribes to build yourselves a city there for all of the tribes to trade and help each other grow." I say getting excited nodes and thanks as they somehow manage to leave while walking backwards and bowing at the same time. I give a sigh of relief that that awkward meeting was over and for the large drain of mana creating that gift. "Next." I say as I send the gift and my imps to the chosen location so they can get to work. When I looked back to the doors I almost fell out of my seat at foxes that came bounding in before bowing.

"Greeting great goddess Rin." The lead fox said confusing me greatly. There are no sentient fox species on this world. So where did they come from?

"We have travel across the Vail to bask in your glory! Regardless of your domain all of the foxes of our world now worship you as the goddess of pranks!" Another said. Oh, this is about that drunk rampage I went on isn't it?

"You inspired us all when you pranked the entire kingdom of Forley with all of those feathers, candy, socks, fish and loincloths! To think that they could be used in such a combination to preform a single prank that could hit an entire kingdom! Many foxes lost control of their bladders from laughing so hard!" Another said with a look of respect in his eyes. ...What did I do? "Everyone in that kingdom burned all of their hats because they now fear them because of that prank!" ...Seriously what the %^#$@! did I do?

"My favorite was when you drew a picture of king Alfred licking the boots of king Fredric...ON THE MOON!" Another said excitedly.

"Speaking of which when king Fredric heard we were looking for a way into other worlds to find you he asked that we give you this gift on his behalf. His kingdom is worshiping you now as well." Another said as she presented me with a well decorated golden box.

"And this one is from us!" Another fox said as he presented me with another offering. "We hope that you like it and remember us well even with all of the others that came from across many worlds to see you this day."

Link to appropriate sound affect.

...No...No no no. "Guards could you open the doors fully for a moment." I ask and when the way is clear I see a long line full of various races from humans to what appeared to be creatures of the void. I think I can even see a beholder floating in line further back. ...$%#^$!


Several hours later.


I groan as I walk back to my room while all of the offerings I just got were being screened by the palace mages to make sure no one was trying anything. Half way to my room Trixie walked up to me from down the hall before bowing to me. This causes me to raise an eyebrow for two reasons. One she had the cutie mark of this world's Trixie who is busy training. Secondly there is no link connecting her to my dungeon heart. My mind got to work quickly and I gave her a smile while I sent a few mental commands to some of my minions to prepare.

"Hello Trixie. You may rise now. Come." At my words she fell in line beside me as we walked to my room Once we entered I used my illusion magic to flair a fake alarm which panicked the fake Trixie. "Trixie did you get another knife for your collection? I keep telling you to register those things." I chastise.

"Y-Yes. Trixie apologizes." The fake said nervously.

"Just fill out the paperwork and come back." I say as I point down the hall.

"O-Of course. Trixie will fill out the paperwork and be right back." She said before turning and heading towards the door. Once she enters it I turn to the guards in my room.

"Now listen carefully."


Three hours later.


"And done." Fake Trixie said with an exasperated sigh as she finished the last of the paperwork which was hastily put together from other forms to be as long and tedious as possible. During this time her mind was probed and her body searched without her noticing. From this it was learned that she was a mercenary hired by the Goodlies. "Now Trixie will just take-" She began to say until the dragon that gave her the papers picked the knife up off the desk.

"Now now Trixie you know the rules. The papers need to be filed first and then it will be sent to your room." He said as he placed the weapon in a lock-box. "Now get going you know it's your turn to guard the princess while she sleeps." At those words a black knight lead her out and pushed her into my room where I lay there pretending to sleep. She looked around at the guards surrounding her before walking over to me looking concerned. She no longer had a weapon and was stuck in a room with me and several guards. She swallows nervously as she sits next to me. The gears in her head turning as she tried to think of a new way to do her job. As she is thinking she leans a little closer and bumps my bed which I use as an excuse to reach up and grab her.

She gives a small squeak as I pull her into my embrace. The entire time pretending to be doing this in my sleep. I give her a crushing hug as I snuggle her like she was a teddy and rest my face in front of hers. I take a deep breath and open my mouth to let it out. The moment my breath washed over her her eyes shoot open and begin to water as her mouth scrunches up like Applejack's when she lies. After the Nightmare Night incident I looked up a make breath minty spell that Doom asked about for Spider-Mare and in doing so I also found a spell that does the opposite. It was meant for pranking so the one inflicted can't smell it which is good because right now my breath smells like an old dumpster that had every kind of meat and vegetable thrown into it, had rain water get in it and was aloud to rot and fester into a pool of slime with the lid closed allowing the stink to build up.

As she lay there with me she gave the guards a look that begged them to save her which they ignored I lay there with my mouth open just breathing. While I'm keeping up the act in the real world in my head I'm laughing my butt off knowing that Just laying here with her is going to provide me hours of entertainment.

Too Many Twilights.

View Online

"Well it looks like our time is up." Dr. Wolf said as he placed his note pad and quill down.

"Alright...thanks again doctor." Twilight said a little nervously as she stood up from the couch.

"I know it will take time to get over what happened but I'm still your friend and I'm not quitting on you." Dr. Wolf assured getting a smile from Twilight. Twilight inched a little closer wanting to give him a hug but thought it might be too soon and instead turned to leave the room Celestia gave Dr. Wolf here in the palace now that Dr. Wolf has moved out of the tree house.

"Well I'm feeling much better. I haven't felt the need to study anything by taking it apart since-" Twilight said as she opened the door but stopped when she saw a giant, floating monster head with one big eye in front and several eye stocks coming out of the top of its head. A few of the eye stocks looked down at her curiously but otherwise it just kept floating down the hall. Twilight slowly blinked a few times before closing the door and walking back to the couch.

"So... Shall we pick up where we left off?" Twilight asked as soon as she was laying down getting a confused look from her displaced shrink.


"Aunty?...AUNTY!"

"Hmm?" I ask as I look up from my book to see my girls with an annoyed look on their faces.

"Will you put that book down already?" Celestia asked.

"Just one more page." I say as I look back down but my head was quickly enveloped in a blue aura which forced me to look back up at them.

"That is what thou said for the last page. And the page before that and the page before that!" Luna said. With great reluctance I put my book mark in, close my book, and set it in a protective barrier before I start making my plate.

"I'm sorry. It's just that with my title of goddess of forbidden and lost knowledge I've been getting offerings of one of a kind or at least rare tomes and I'm so excited about it. This one has a complete list of all known kinds of golems and how they're made. You know how I've always wanted to build golems." I say before I start to chow down.

"What happened to darkness?" Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm still worshiped as a goddess of darkness but a few new domains have been forced onto me during my drunken road trip." I say as I summon the list and float it over to Celestia who starts reading it.

"Darkness, pranks, games, undeath, forbidden knowledge, lost knowledge, monsters, dark heroes." Celestia read aloud but stopped to look closer with squinting eyes. "Elevator buttons? How does one become the goddess of elevator buttons?"

"I have no idea. And I'm too embarrassed to ask the ones that worship me as such or why they are even worshiping a goddess of elevator buttons to begin with." I say in a bewildered tone. "I did ask Trixie who was with me but she just started laughing so hard at the memory that she fell on the ground and started crying. Strangely no one is worshiping my as a goddess of drinking. You would think with all of the other aspects they have forced on me that would be one considering how they've heard of me."

"I...see." Celestia said with a look of confusion before dropping the subject. "Can I borrow that when you're done? The new trainer is doing a superb job but having a few heavy hitters like golems would make useful additions to the royal guard."

"You can. but you can't copy the book. I don't think you would do it anyways." I say after taking a drink getting a questioning look from my girls. "Golems are animated and able to follow orders by a spell that summons, enslaves and binds an elemental spirit to it. I don't like the idea of forcing anything to be a slave. All that work for me do so of their own free will save for the ones that have no will at all. There are some in here I can make without that spell by substituting necromancy like the flush golem or this bone golem. I can even make it so they can follow simple orders now thanks to the reanimation spell I got from that lich but only if I use the brain of a sentient being for the flesh golem or the skull of one to act as a brain for the bone golem. All it would take is an onyx each. The only thing in this book I can animate this way that isn't made of dead body parts or souls is something called a corpse gatherer and to be fair that is made by animating a graveyard. I can't use ghost on ones not made from dead body parts because the instructions warn they would go mad and I tried substituting the shadows I know how to create but..."

At my words I summoned the animated armor I created. Celestia and Luna focused on the construct immediately as it marched forward. Its sword and shield held gallantly in front of it as it patrolled the area in search of intruders.

"It's so cute!" Luna gushed at the golem no bigger than one of those plastic army men toys as it secured the mashed potatoes.

"That's as big as I can make one animated through a magically created shadow. The shadow is so weak that making the golem any bigger would make it incapable of moving." I say with a sigh.

"Still I can enter the realm of fire so I can try to employ some elementals and Luna can try dream spirits." Celestia said aloud with a thoughtful look on her face.

"If you feel you can convince them to take a job where they are bound to a construct then go ahead." I say with a shrug as I wipe myself clean with a napkin. "Oh, I should also probably mention this new minion I got recently. He is quite the character." I say with a nervous smile.


Flashback.


I just peed myself a little. I thought to myself. I have been dreading this meeting as the line moved forward and I was horrified that I did indeed see a beholder in line to see me. A fact that baffles me to no ends as everything I know about beholders shows them as being extremely xenophobic to the point that they would kill their own kind just for having the slightest difference and even if two that looked and thought exactly alike were to meet their arrogance would keep them from seeing eye to eye. But here one floated. The bane of many adventure parties in the flesh floating in front of me. Please don't anti-magic me please don't anti-magic me please don... wait what?

"You, want a job?" I ask to see if I heard what he said correctly. When I got a nod for an answers I just have to ask. "Why?"

"Because I want to be an adventurer." The beholder proclaimed. "I am not like my kin who wishes to destroy everything just because it is different. I am far superior to all of those little people who suffer so I want to use my intellect and power to help them."

"So you're like a radical thinker? One of those minds that deviate from the path and reach for greater heights?" I ask which causes that disturbingly sharp smile to grow even wider.

"Yes! Finally someone gets it! All of those other beholders foolishly squabble over their petty differences and waste their potential. Not to mention their arrogance. All of them think that they are the best beholder. That they are the smartest, strongest and best looking when clearly that is me! They just refuse to see the truth." The beholder said. Okay so he's still got that beholder arrogance. I thought to myself with a sweat drop.

"Anyways when I tried to become an adventurer I was always rejected. Or run away from or attacked. So I thought about it and realized what I was missing that the other adventurers had. A god! They had a good aligned god or goddess to worship and the beholder gods would never approve of a hero beholder. Not even Bill Cipher and he loves it when we act different!" Ignoring that Bill statement I don't think that's how it works... "I was going to just charm a guild into letting me join, for the greater good, but then you came along. A dark goddess that used the undead which are widely accepted as evil to do heroic things and made friends with light gods!" Wait I did what now? "You're perfect for me! Now I can be a hero! And with your reputation as my goddess I can get into a guild and no one will question it because everyone knows about you! You drew a lot of attention running all over the place like you did." Joy.

"Well I like your drive to do better Mr."

"Bo'lapityflopflop." The beholder proudly proclaimed. Not even giving me a chance to give a questioning tone. "But I would like it if you weren't liberal with my name."

"Right. I'll just call you Bob then." I say with a smile.

"You won't regret this! I already have one advantage that puts me above other adventurers!" Bob said out loud. "I have no knees!" Bob proudly proclaimed. ...I'm not sure if that was meant to be a joke or not but I think an arrow to the eye would be more of a concern for this guy.

"Alright. Is their any kind of environment you would like in your bed chamber?" I ask.

"Eyes!" He shouted out excitedly.

"Okay then. Your room will have a scavenger area lining the walls so giant eye-stocks will grow out of the floor." I say as I lift a paw to shake which he responds to by giving me an eye from the top of his head to shake. With the deal sealed the connection was made I sent Bob to his room to get settled. Out of curiosity I look in on the large room I gave him to see what the lair in the middle of the room full of eyes would produce. Bob was just floating there looking into one of the giant eyeballs. Looks like he already knows the eyeballs are for scrying. Looking to the middle of the room I see a giant fleshy hole with eyeball lining. Itch scratched I check in on what Bob is spying on to see a guild hall only for it to shift to another one.

Coming back to the room I take in a deep breath. "Well...that just happened."


End flashback.


I wait a short while after telling them about my new employee but the first thing that was said was not what I was expecting.

"Thou hast peed on the royal cushion!?" Luna demanded.

"...That's what you get from that story?" I ask with a deadpan.

"Thy tooshie is not the only one that seat must bear!" Luna proclaimed.

"Look I cleaned myself up and had the cushion changed out for a fresh one before seeing the next guy in line okay?" I asked.

"I'm not sure I understand this Bob's logic." Celestia cut in.

"He's a beholder. That would be like trying to understand Pinkie Pie's logic." I say with a shrug. "The point is some problems may arise from him being here and I thought you would like a heads up."

"Aunty we have given you more freedom and trust than anypony else during our rule. We even let you keep that thing that possessed Luna. And as much as I don't like some of the creatures you chose to keep around you have an amazing talent for keeping them under control and keeping them happy while doing it. Though it is a little concerning that this is the first time you've felt the need to warn us that you have a new minion I think I speak for both of us when I say we trust you on this." Celestia said dismissively.

"Indeed! Now we can discuss more pleasant things. Rejoice dear sister for we have invented a new recipe for cake!" Luna proclaimed. The look of horror on Celestia's face will forever be burned into my memory. And my scrap books. 'Flash' Just as Celestia came back to her seances and started desperately trying to think up excuses to save herself a day guard burst into the room.

"Your majesties! There is a problem outside. We've tried dealing with it but we require assistance." The guard said with a look of concern.

"What is it?" Celestia asked as she literally jumped at the opportunity landing right in front of the guard.

"They tried to get into the palace but we told them the times your majesties take court and now they're all over the city! Causing panics and uproars!" He said as he gestured to a window which we all went to. The first thing to draw our attention was an adult dragoness with purple scales sitting in the park talking with Twilight as Twilight flew over their heads...wait. I look all over the city and while there were people like the ones in line last time there were also plenty of Twilight's. Dragon Twilight, pony Twilights, boy Twilights, girl Twilights, anthro Twilights, humane Twilights.

"So many Twilights." I say with wide eyes as the list of different Twilights grew.

"Oh! Now we can have our own student! And so many to choose from." Luna said excitedly like a teenager shopping for their first car. Suddenly Celestia's eyes shot open with a look of realization as she slowly turned her head to look at me.

"Princess of lost and forbidden knowledge." Celestia said slowly, making me cringe. Which would make me grade-A Twilight bait. "And as Bob said you drew a lot of attention to yourself."

"But they aren't doing anything. How is this a problem?" I asked.

"The public library has been picked clean. All grammatical Errors on alleyway graffiti has been corrected making them actually offensive instead of just confusing. Everypony is being pestered with question after question and being poked and prodded in many offensive and invasive ways. And the dragon is scaring everypony just by sitting there." The guard listed off. Great. Well it is my mess so I guess I'll have to clean it up. Creating a portal I summon one of my minions that would be perfect for this job.

"Jingles!" I say with a smile. "I got a little job for you. Do you trust me?" I ask getting the skull of the undead pony to cock to the side.

"I trusted you enough to give you my soul." He said causing the girls to give me looks.

"Technicalities. It needed to be done to make him a lich. I'll give it back should he ever decide to quit." I reassure. Normally to become a lich one must sell their soul to a demon god but fortunately from the times I was lent out to gods by Faust I learned how they buy souls from their followers so that they can use their domain as an afterlife and I have the power to pull it off myself so I could give him lichhood without turning him into a slave to some great evil. And as such his soul by the law of the divines belongs to me. "Anyways I need you to do something for me then you can get right back to the lab. And you're going to need that necklace with the illusion enchantment I gave you."


Starswirl felt incredibly stupid. He just looked onward with a deadpan expression on his face as he was flown around the city dangling from a rope attached to a surprisingly sturdy fishing pole.

"Is that Starswirl the bearded!?" A unicorn gasped as they turned a corner.

"It is! Starswirl come back!" Her apparent twin shouted out. This went on for a while until Starswirl could hear what sounds like a stamped behind him and looks back to see a wall of purple mares running, galloping and flying behind him.

"Fan mares!" Starswirl shouted in a panic and started moving his legs as fast as he could to gallop on the air as if that could somehow make him go faster. He swung to the side barely avoiding a tackle from a purple anthro pony with wings. "No no no no no no no!" If he were capable of crying right now he would be crying in fear as the horde of mares only grew larger and larger. Then he heard it. A roar that shook his very bones. Looking back once more he saw a purple dragoness had joined in on the chase and was reaching out a claw to snatch him up. A hungry look in her eyes.

"Mine!" The dragoness said as she tried to catch Starswirl in her claw but just as the fingers were closing Starswirl was pulled up causing the claws to grip nothing but the air under him. "Come back!"

"No no no no no no no no no" Starswirl chanted before passing through an inky black tunnel. Once they came out again they were surrounded by grass and mountains. Starswirl didn't have much time to ponder this as the dragoness came in much faster now that she had more room to fly.

"Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine! The dragoness sang out as her powerful claws wrapped around the lich and closed tightly while cutting the rope connected to the pole on the chariot. Unfortunately for dragon Twilight she was so focused on taking the bait that she didn't look where she was flying and crash head first into a wall of fur. Before she could fall she was caught by a giant paw and lifted up to my face as I lift my other law and place it in front of her expectantly. She blinks a few times before pointing to the lich in her claws and I nod. Very reluctantly she places Jingles in my paw and I smile down at him as I set the dragon down.

"Thank you." I say.

"Did you really need me to do that?" He asked as he looked back at the Twilights behind him.

"Not at all. In fact I've already collected all of the non-Twilight visitors that came to see me." I say while gesturing to the large group of people. Most of which are wizards.

"What?! Why did you do it then?!" He asked.

"Because it was funny." I answer simply. Jingles opened his mouth to reply. Thought better of it and just sat down and groaned. I just gave him a gentle pat on the head and sent him back to the lab. I then look down to see everyone except for some Twilights worshiping me much to my discomfort so I start talking.

"Sorry about that but the mortals of this world aren't used to so many outsiders and you were panicking my nieces followers. And that is their city. So I'm going to create a little place out here for those who come to see me." I announce before focusing on my magic. Everyone quieted down and watches to see what I was about to do while I shrank down to my normal height. Luckily I'm pretty good with earth based magic as being a dungeon keeper requires that you learn it so the dark geomancy I got from Sombra's books comes easily for me. Coupled with my skills of room creation from being a dungeon keeper creating a dark crystal building should be easy for me. Still it wouldn't hurt to give them a show. I push my magic into the earth and expend the extra magic to make them true grown crystals instead of the conjured stuff to make it last. As the sound of the crystal braking through the ground hits my ears Equestria's magic kicks in and music starts to play much to the confusion of the non-Twilights but I resist the urge to sing and keep my focus.


"It would be so easy. Look at her son. She's just standing there out in the open. All it would take is one good shot? So tell me boy. Have you given up on your prey?" An earth pony looking through an enchanted scope on his crossbow asked before looking up at his son showing the griffin eye that had been transplanted in long ago.

"I've told you father I will slay the beast." Hunter said with a scowl making his burnt face look monstrous.

"Then make your old man proud." The older pony said as he hoofed the crossbow over to his son. Swallowing Hunter lifted the weapon and took aim. He could see her head through the scope as he carefully moved the weapon to hit his target and pulled the trigger. And fell back from the kickback of the weapon. When he got up to look he was shocked to see black crystals growing in front of where his target was. "Just so you know those crystals didn't save her. Your aim was way off." His father said disapprovingly. "Oh well she wasn't our primary objective today anyways."

"How can you be so calm when it still lives?" Hunter grumbled.

"Had she been at the palace I would have killed her without giving you the chance you have just botched for the third time. My task is to give the distraction to save our comrades. Including your mother who never should have been on that Element run that twisted the forms of her and the others. She, they take priority." The older pony said calmly as he took his crossbow back and cocked it. The complex mechanisms inside giving enough so that he could pull the strings back and lock it into place before letting it pull tight again. Placing the bolt into place he took careful aim at the city on the mountain opposite the one they were sitting on. Once he had his shot he fired only giving a grunt at the kickback as the bolt flew across the sky. Over buildings, through windows and passed surprised ponies and broke through the window in the palace throne room shooting the crown off of Celestia's head causing panic as she created a shield around the room.

"At least the guards are getting good training now. They're already swarming the area outside looking for the shooter in an efficient manner." The sniper pony commented. "The family code states that you never go after another family member's prey. But you are embarrassing us. You have one more chance. Fail again and I'll end this myself and add a fox skinned rug to my room. You understand me boy?...boy are you listening too..." The sniper asked but stopped when he turned around and saw what had his son so distracted. Blinking a few times he readied his bow again and placed a magic canceling bolt in and took a shot. When the bolt bounced off the crystal walls showing that it was real his eyes widened.


Make the walls denser. It's getting taller than I thought. I'll add four towers around it and connect them with bridges. I had been working on this little project quickly but efficiently. Making it denser, bigger. Adding floors, rooms and art. Transmuting carpets and drapes. Adding enchanted lighting bathrooms that run on conjured water which took more power than the walls themselves but I kept going. Even tapping into my reserves of liquid pain to show off some to the crowd. When it got too tall I added more walls around it making it wider which aloud me to make it taller. When I finally drained myself I stopped and open my eyes which were swimming. Luckily the crowd sounded awed by the display so that gave me a moment to recover so that I can act like that was nothing but I had to stop myself from dropping my jaw at what I had created.

It can't be. No even if I only used magic that comes easy for me and tapped into the liquid pain I shouldn't have been able to do this. I thought to myself as I look up at the black castle. It had large walls that curved outwards into black spikes and the inside was stacked into layers growing high into the sky and four black towers with bridges connecting them to the main castle. What I was going for but I didn't think it would be anywhere near this big. It's bigger than Canterlot! Well it is if you break it up and stack it into the castle's shape but still.

"Oh mighty Rin you grace us with your show of power." One of the human wizards said as he bowed. Poker face Rin. I turn and look down to the bowing people and resist my inner Fluttershy and remained where I was. "Tell us great one. Can we once more ask you questions of lost arts?" I give an imaginary sweat drop at this. So far I've been able to answer their questions from the knowledge I gained from the void or my studies or if I didn't know I would tell them that knowledge needed to be earned or wasn't meant to be known if I felt it was dangerous enough. But for the most part the answers to the questions I've been getting. The answers were in the books someone else gave me as an offering to get their own questions answered. ...Hello idea.

"You know with all of you from so many worlds you have so many things to share with each other. Answers to questions the one standing next to you has. So bring your books. I shall place an enchanted area inside to make copies. Fill a library that all of you my little ones can come to and learn." I have to take a moment to not drool at the thoughts of all of those books. "Bring knowledge and take knowledge and help each other grow. And if you can't find what you need in the library then you may come ask me."

"Yes! Oh great one we will do as you command!" One wizard said. Ya whatever just bring me your books. Must, not, drool.

"We can build a city around the castle! Bring all of our skills to build something amazing!" What I can only guess is an artificer shouted out excitedly. ...That moment of greed is going to come back and bite me isn't it?

"We can set up guilds that work though other plains! It will be great!" Another shouted out. ...Well that's one way to keep Bob happy.


Later that day.


"Well that was a taxing day wasn't it my little sunshine?" I ask the shrunken Celestia I was using as a teddy.

"You know I can sleep safely in my own bed." Celestia said in a deadpan.

"Nope. I'll never get to sleep unless I know you're safe."

"There is no way that thing could have killed me." Celestia countered.

"Celestia. Think carefully on your odds of winning this. Think of how you would of reacted if it had happened to me." I reply and I hear nothing from her after that. Having earned my victory I snuggle up in my covers to get some sleep.

Oh divines please bless our party as we go to smite this evil. My ears flicker at the sound.

Please give me the strength to find the lost songs of king Sol. I grumble a little in my sleep.

My child has been cursed in a fight with a ghoul. Please Rin save my son whom I've brought before you. Okay I'll help with that. I send a blast of curse crushing power through the link. Jack! Oh my boy you're okay! Thank you! Thank you! I smile a little as I drift off to wait... My eyes shoot open as I shoot up startling Celestia as I did so.

"What the heck! Did actually just ascend?! I thought there would be some kind of transition phase! Or at least a forced tutorial!" I shout out getting a confused look from Celestia.


Meanwhile in another world.


"Ninety-nine, one hundred." The old man said as he paid the merchant wrapped up in strange clothes for the heart talismans for the worship of the new goddess. Shortly after making the purchase the crate was carried into the temple behind the priest that made the purchase and they moved to where all of their gods are worshiped and walked up to the obsidian fox statue that was just being finished and placed one of the tokens at its paws. He watched in fascination as it was absorbed into the statue.

Just Eat It!

View Online

"Say ahhhh." Said the doe in front of me as she shined a light down my throat. Her name is Summer. The local goddess of nature and medicine and the one that came to confirm my ascension for the other gods of this world. "Alright you can close your mouth now." She said as she backed away.

"Well?" Celestia asked.

"She is not one of us yet. She is going through a transition faze. This is some kind of forced ascension resulting from the sudden massive jump in worshipers and the fact that they are somehow sending their prayers directly into her. At least that is all I can tell about it. I know there must be more to it as just having worshipers isn't enough to become a god. If it were every brainwashing cult leader would become one. Maybe I should go drinking with Tatonya and get myself some more followers." Summer joked. "Sorry Rin but you're still mortal. You're also in for a rough ride too. But don't worry I have just the medicine to make it better. But first, do you know what she's being worshiped for?"

At her question Celestia summoned up the list and hoofed it over for Summer to read. "...Elevator buttons?"

"Don't ask." Celestia deadpanned. Summer and my girls just sat there silently glancing amongst themselves. Are they having a telepathic conversation without me? After I thought this Celestia in a quick movement pulled out a collar and locked it on my neck and I can feel my magic being locked away. Alarm bells ring in my head as the collar is never a good sign and I moved to get up but then I felt a crushing weight as Luna jumped onto the bed I was laying on for my examination and sat on me.

"No! Set me free!" I cry out.

"Sorry dear aunty but should thou leave our sight thou may very well flee from thy medicine." Luna said as Summer left by teleporting away.

"I'm not in your sight I'm under your butt get off of me!" I shouted as I struggled to breath.

"Calm down aunty it will be over soon." Celestia said in that soothing voice of hers.

"What could be so bad about the medicine that it requires this? What is it some kind of suppository!?" I demand.

"No not a suppository." Summer said as she reappeared carrying some boxes. "We need to give you your aspects now. However we can't just put them in you because of your situation. So they need to be absorbed into your body slowly. For this I went to the aspect storage area where they are kept until they find owners and got physical manifestations of the aspects on your list which you're going to need to swallow." She said as she opened the first box and pulled out a jar filled with black slime that moved around on its own.

"First darkness." She said as she opened the jar and lifted it up to my mouth. Nervously I open my mouth and she pores it in and an explosion of amazing flavors shoot through my mouth. Why do they need to restrain me for this? It's amazing!

"Next pranks." Summer said after I swallowed and she pulled out some kind of wriggling thing that was giving off laughter and put it into my eager mouth. 'ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!' I spasm at the sudden shock and almost spit it out. It has a joy buzzer! Despite the unpleasant surprise I manage to force it down.

"Games." She said as she pulled out a pulsing slime that looked like yellow play dough that kept shifting and as it did I kept seeing toys shift in and out of the mass. I gave it a weary look but took it anyways. It tasted like candy.

"Monsters" I tense when Summer said that and look with dread as she pulled out something that looks like one of those face huggers from the alien movies. I understand the restraints now! I thought as I clamped my mouth shut and whimpered. When Summer tried to feed that thing to me I just kept moving my head away. With a sigh Celestia grabbed my head in her magic and forced me to face forward and forced my mouth open. To my horror that thing was placed in my mouth and without me doing anything it darted deeper into my mouth and crawls down my throat. I can feel its spider like legs as it crawls around in my stomach making itself at home.

"Next lost knowledge." Summer said after she gave me a moment to calm down and she pulled out a mass of shifting words in so many languages I couldn't understand any of it. I didn't even fight it as she opened my mouth and placed it inside. It tasted like chalk and dust but at least this is something I can swallow.

"Forbidden knowledge." She said simply as she pulls out what looks like the same mass of shifting words only where the last one had black words like they were written in ink this one had red ones like they were written in blood. With a groan I open my mouth and take it. It tasted like hotdogs.

"Alright this one might be a little strange." Summer said and I give her a look as she pulls out a tiny pony dressed up as bat-man. "Dark heroes." She said as she moved it towards me.

"Why? Just, why?" I ask as I look at the aspect.

"Because I'm bat-mane." The aspect said in a gruff yet high pitched voice as my mouth was once more forced open by a golden aura. With a pathway open the small hero did a flip into my mouth and just slid on my tongue to my throat before diving down.

"That was so wrong." I say weakly. I look up and see Summer and Celestia giving me nervous looks.

"Alright just one more. Brace yourself this is the one we bound you for." Summer said and I tense up. The monster wasn't the bad one!? I thought before searching my memory for the list and trying to think of what was left. As Summer opens the box she backs away while turning green and lifting a hoof to her mouth to keep herself from loosing her lunch. At the smell of rot and decay filled the room I realized what it was. Undeath

After a moment Summer reached in and pulled out a wiggling mass of rotting flesh. I can see organs and even a brain exposed and it had one dead eye that focused on me like I was the only thing in the room. I gag at the pus oozing from the wounds and the maggots and worms wiggling about all over it. Worst fear factor challenge ever! I thought to myself as I struggled to get away but Luna's plot was too heavy.

"Come on. You play with this stuff all the time." Summer encouraged.

"I don't eat th-!" I started to protest only to realize all too late that I had made a mistake as Summer took the opportunity to shove the thing in my mouth and Celestia quickly used her magic to bind my mouth shut. As the vile thing squirmed in my mouth I felt a painful sensation on my tongue. It has teeth!

"Calm down aunty, please. This is as bad for me as it is for you." Celestia said in a placating tone. Bull shit! It's not in your mouth!

"Just swallow!" Luna demanded. I'm trying! My gag reflex wont let me! After a short struggle I was in tears from the thing on my mouth biting everything it could and from it just being there. "Oh for crying out loud! Sister unbind her mouth!" Luna demanded as she pulled my head up and and once my mouth was opened she grabbed the aspect and pushed it and the lower part of her hoof down my throat. Just to make sure that it went down. Once she was sure it was down there she pulled her hoof back and wiped it off on Celestia which caused Celestia to back away in disgust.

"That was the last one. There is no aspect for buttons I've checked." Summer said with a sigh as I was coughing and wheezing.

"I think I'm about to lose my aspects." I groan as Luna gets off of me.

"Oh no you don't." Summer said as she blasted me with a spell. "That will keep you from regurgitating for a few days."

"Undeath is still biting me." I groan as I clutch my stomach. I don't know how my stomach could hurt any worse right now. 'ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ' "Ahhhh! Prank!"

"I'm sorry you'll just have to surfer through it. Don't worry they can't harm you so whatever they do in there you'll be fine." Summer reassured just before I feel what I think is undeath and monster get into a fight. "Trust me if you were aloud to ascend on your own the way you were it would have been slower and far worse. You might have even died before loosing your mortality." Summer said in an apologetic tone. "Think of it like pulling off a bandied as fast as you can."

"I've never heard of anyone ascending this way." I complain as I summon a bottle and start using liquid pain on myself. I can still feel them in there and it isn't pleasant but at least it has stopped hurting.

"Well I've never heard of anyone doing it ether. In all honesty you shouldn't be able to ascend just by having worshipers. I don't know what they are using to worship you but it is somehow getting in to you even though you had no aspects before. Besides the winning argument that stopped us from crushing you like a bug for that fake goddess thing was that most of us believed that this would happen. You already had the raw power to ascend you just needed the right catalyst." Summer said. "This new situation has just forced us to cheat a little to make sure you are okay when it's done." Summer said as she poked at my Bellsprout who was sitting in a pot on my table. He was living up in my castle now so that he could enjoy real sunlight instead of the artificial lights in the garden room.

"So I'm going to be a goddess but not the kind I would have become naturally?" I ask.

"Any of those aspects can force their way out of you if they wanted yet they haven't and some jumped into you on there own. That means they accept you as their owner." Summer said dismissively. "I don't think you would have gotten them all but you would have gotten some of them."

"So how long until I'm done absorbing them?" I ask as I pat my tummy getting a shrug from Summer.

"Who knows. Like we've established earlier this has never happened before. All I can say is it should take no longer than the end of the day. It depends on how fast your body can safely absorb them. You also may notice some changes in your powers and body as you absorb them and you will be able to tap into the aspect's power to a limited level until this is done. This means you can hear and answer prayers among other things. Just don't get cocky. Until you have absorbed them completely you are still mortal. And even for an immortal there are still a few things that can kill you. Like that thing you brought into our world to fight the Juggernaut. Such things are rare but they exist despite our efforts to get rid of them all. And don't forget how we lost your adoptive sister and her husband. An immortal can be killed by the hooves of another." Summer said in a lecturing tone. "Now I must be off. But I have a few doctors orders before I go. No more magic eating until you have absorbed them completely and take it easy until it is done." After saying that Summer vanished in a flash of teleportation.

"Well that was unpleasant." I say as I try to get up but I'm forced back down by a gold and blue aura.

"No no. You need to take it easy remember?" Celestia said with a smile.

"Indeed dear aunty! And we shall care for thee until we must return for our time at court!" Luna proclaimed loudly. "Would thou like some of our home made mushroom soup?" I resist the urge to cringe at the idea and thankfully have an excuse. Which is a good thing because every attempt to convince Luna that her cooking is bad only results in her forcing the nay sayer to eat her cooking to prove them wrong.

"Luna, I just swallowed the aspect of undeath. Do you really think I have an apatite right now?" I ask in a deadpan.

"Ah, yes. We see thy point." Luna said with a cringe.

"Besides I'm just going to look around my new place it's not that taxing." I say as I try to get up again but am once more forced down.

"You know as well as we do you can look around without leaving the bed." Celestia said so I poke at the magic suppressor they have around my neck. I wonder if this stuff will even work once I truly ascend "Do you promise to be good and stay in bed if we take it off? And I mean no loopholes like flying the bed around. You must stay here." Celestia said and I reluctantly agree. Once I was free of the thing I lay down and close my eyes to use my sight of evil spell.

My above view of my new room in my black castle showed Celestia teleporting back to her palace while Luna marched around my bed like a guard alert for trouble. I smile at this before moving to check on my library which was now staffed by Twilights that decided to live here having never found friendship or never had a princess teacher. I am giddy to see that new books are still coming in. Phantom Rin is even helping with the quickly growing collection.

Having checked on the only part of my castle that I wanted to I check outside to see how the city is going. I'm surprised at how fast they are working. Just outside the city is a floating island with a wizard's school on it. Though to be fare they didn't build that here it was just moved here for my library. Another draw was the black crystal coliseum I built after a few fights broke out. I just copied the magic in one of my games and set it up in there while turning some of the black crystals into a giant illusion projector so everyone there can watch. I named it the Fluffy Dome! The rest was built by those wishing to live here so the place was split into different districts. Like the nature district where giant trees were being grown to live in.

There was another living district next to that one that was being built and run on magi-tech. The market district was more normal looking but bigger and already had built and opened shops. From food like the one I gave to the Apple family so they can send their apples to be sold or prepared to the potion shop that was made by some of my little zebras. There is even a place called the Body Shop that sells the remains of monsters killed by adventurers or guards if the monsters attack a town or city. I've already placed an order for five of everything so that I can study them. The crowning jewel of the market district however was Fox Fire Hall. The new adventuring guild started by a team of Power Ponies that had sadly lost their world to a crazed supervillain that destroyed the place by crashing the moon into the planet. After they claimed a large bit of land and started building they were quickly joined by every other aspiring adventurer including Bob and they all used there skills to build a giant super hero like tower that crossed advanced scientific engineering with wizards magic, druid magic, and artificer magi-tech. The place had everything except a training ground because the Fluffy Dome was better than anything they could have made and it's free to fight in.

I smile when I see that they are already hard at work and I can see Bob with a team coming back from a quest and heading too Dragon's Hord Exchange which was run by dragoness Twilight to get their loot appraised and exchange some currency. ...Well that didn't eat up much of my time. I thought to myself as I end the spell and open my eyes. Well if I'm going to just lay here for who knows how long. Come to me my imp! I waited for a short while but nothing happens.

"Imp?" I ask aloud getting Luna's attention. Before she could ask what I was talking about there was a red flash and bats made of shadows flew off from the point before evaporating revealing a disheveled looking Octavia. "I see that you're getting the hang of vampire teleportation." I say with a smile to the groaning mare as she got to her hooves.

"It's a work in progress." Octavia said as she straitened her mane. "Anyways I've been asked to come inform you that your imps just exploded. Nothing dangerous but there are complaints from some of the others they were serving. Particularly the changelings that managed to monopolize one for the diaper changing station. Now they have to do it and they are not happy about it." I blink a few times at the news and realize I can no longer feel the constant drain of magic to keep them going.

"Must have overloaded them." I say with a frown and cast the create imp spell to rebuild my work force only for it to explode with mana before it could form. "...what?" I try again with less power and again it explodes. And again and again.

"Please stop." Octavia begged as she hid behind Luna. With a sigh I summon up some of the gems in my dungeon and the orb I used to store the life force I take from plants for my spells. Not only do I know the create imp spell from Dungeon Keeper 2 but I know the one from the first game. This one gives them flesh and blood bodies and they don't feed off of your mana to survive but unlike in the first game you need to give them life force to work. Otherwise you just get a dead imp body. And their life expectancy depends on how much life force you give them which is why I don't normally use it. Channeling my magic I was able to create ten servants with about two months of life. More than enough time to get more life force. However...

"Those aren't imps." Octavia observed. Standing before me were ten orange, anthro foxes with black for the whites of there eyes and green pupils. They had wicker basket backpacks in place of the imps burlap sacks and their pickaxes were much nicer. Other than that they were naked. Not even having the loin cloths the imps have.

"Umm... You, put down your things and come here." I order while pointing to one of the foxes.

"Yes mistress." It said as it took it's basket off and placed it on the ground and her pickaxe in the basket before running up and jumping into my bed. To say I was surprised was an understatement. Imps could only talk when they hit level ten and even then it was like talking to a goblin. Yet this fox spoke perfect English at level one.

"I'm going to examine you now." I say to the fox. Imps are just constructs so I can use and abuse them. If the aspects in me made this spell create life then I'm going too just go without the slave labor of the imps and substitute human skeletons. I'm also going to feel guilty that I gave them life that would only last two months.

"If that will please you mistress." The fox said as she stands in front of me. First things first I grab it and focus my power to look inside. She has no soul. And her mind... I give a sigh of relief when I realize it's just programed info just like the imps. It's just much better. I then go further and check the muscles and circulatory system. Defiantly built for slave labor.

"Good news, they are an upgraded model of the imps." I say as I pat the fox on the head. "You nine go with her. She'll give you some jobs but before you go to them I want you to work on expanding the room where I dump you all off and claiming the land you uncover doing this." I say before I pick them up with my hand and send them to my dungeon. "You are going to be my personal servant while I recover." I say to the fox in my paws as I use inspiration manifestation to give her a butlers tux minus the pants as it looks better that way and they are genderless constructs with no privet parts anyways. I'm just calling it a her because of it's high pitched voice.

"Yes mistress. How may I serve you." The fox asked.

"I want you to go down to my library and find me good books." I say as I salivate at all of that arcane knowledge.

"Yes mistress. Anything in particular I should look for?" The fox asked. I think of all of those books. I wish I could read more than one at a time. Hmmmmmm.

"Chakra control." I say and my small servant bows and runs off. I waited for about ten minutes before she came back.

"I'm sorry mistress but there are no books about anything called chakra. I checked the list the librarians have made twice. And no one I asked knew what chakra is." She said in an apologetic tone. So much for shadow clones. I thought to myself.

"Then find me anything on being able to read more than one book at once or how to read them faster." I say with a wave of my paw. "And if you can't find those than bring me something that I can use to entertain myself." With another bow she was off. Thinking about what to do while I wait I summon up one of the gold necklaces made from conjured gold.

"What art thou doing aunty?" Luna asked when she saw this.

"Summon harem spell." I say and Luna suddenly got very panicked. "Relax I would never do that in front of you." I say with an eye roll. That would be like having your own kids walk in on you. "I'm just going to get an innocent massage. Would you like one too?" I ask and she calms down considerably.

"Ah, indeed that does sound nice." Luna said as she climbed into the other side of the bed. "What doth tho get exactly from this spell anyways?" Luna asked.

"Whatever you fancy. Like bunny girls." I say and try to give a demonstration but when the light cleared I find yet again I have created anthro servants. Small ones at that. There noses twitching as they looked up at me.

"Tho hast strange taste." Luna stated mater of factly.

"Not what I was aiming for." I deadpanned. Okay so there are some limitations on what you can get with this spell. I thought to myself.

"How may we serve?" One of the bunny girls asked.

"..."


Happily Rose hummed while she watered her flowers. She was happily moving on to the next set of flowers but when she turned around she came face to face with the most horrifying bunny she had ever seen. It just stood there staring at her, standing at a monstrous one foot tall while it twitched its nose. Slowly she backed away only to feel her hind leg bump against something fury ant turned to see yet another bunny staring at her.

"Eppp!" Rose squeaked and bolted for the door of the flower shop run by her and her sisters who were off making flower deliveries. She burst through her shop's door and quickly slammed it shut and locked it. Taking a moment to get her breathing under control she sat up and turned to look out the window to see if they were still there. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed in terror at seeing the bunny looking back at her from the other side of the glass.

Quickly she scrambled back and turned to run away but stopped dead at seeing the bunnies in her path. She turned left and found more. Spinning around she quickly realized that she was surrounded. All at once the bunny army of doom reached behind themselves to draw their weapons and pulled out paper! When they held the sheets over their heads they all said 'I wuv U' in crayon will little smiling bunny faces drawn around it. The terror was too great and she fainted.


'Crack, crack' went my back as the conjured ponies worked my back. I look to my side when I heard Luna purring as they worked the tension out of her. I just snuggled further into my bed and relaxed. The fighting inside me even stopped thankfully so I no longer need to focus on the liquid pain spell.

"I'll see your ten and raise you another ten." I heard.

"I call." I blink at hearing this and turn my head to look at my stomach area.

"Are...you guys playing poker in there?" I ask incredulously.

"Do you expect us to just sit around twiddling our hooves, tendrils and claws while waiting for you to finish absorbing us?" One of them asked. "Besides it's this or the pinball machine."

"Very funny." I say flatly before the sound of a pinball machine being played rang out from my insides. "Nice try Games. I know that's you making sound effects. I would have noticed if I had eaten a pinball machine."

"And where do you think we got the cards and chips? Games can create any game items from nothing at will." One of them said and my eye widened. My stomach does feel heavier than it did a while ago.

"Hey those things are going to disappear after Games is absorbed right?" I ask them.

"...Why?"

"Why? What do you mean why? I don't want those things going through my system and I sure as Tartarus don't want to be sitting in the bathroom trying to squeeze out a pinball machine!" I yell. I wait for a few moments but get no answer as the sound of the game start up again. Multi ball! Before I can continue shouting at them there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I call out and one of my black knights leaned into the room.

"Lyra Heartstrings is out here requesting to see you. She said it's important." The knight said. Luna became instantly alert at hearing this and ignored her back rub as she got ready to defend me. My Bellsprout who is also aware of the situation with her turned towards the door while uprooting himself from his flower pot looking ready to act should he need to.

"Let her in" I tell the knight and he nods and disappears behind the door once more. Shortly after the mint green unicorn came walking into the room and promptly fell to the floor crying her eyes out.

"I'm sorrrrrrryyyyyyyy!" She cried out from my floor. "I thought you were evil! We didn't know! The Goodly Heroes are meant to protect the innocent not attack them!" ...Celestia works fast. I honestly thought her plan to guide the spy into seeing the truth would fail. But she managed to pull it off in a few weeks. I wonder what managed to penetrate her head.

"So you're a Goodly Hero. So what changed your mind about me?" I ask.

"Well"


Flashback!


Silently Lyra moved through the new city being created by the monster. She looked in disgust at the strange creatures. Some even had the gall the take on a human like shape! Zipping from one building to another Lyra searched for anything she could use when she stopped. There, wandering the streets like this was any ordinary city. Were humans. Real humans and not lying fakes like that Ax guy or those dwarf things.

"Can you believe how fast this city is being built?" One of them asked.

"It's being built around the home of a goddess." Another said as if answering the first.

"A good one at that. I would have never believed that she defeated an army of ten thousand demons with a prank using nothing but two forks and a massive number of chickens if I hadn't seen her pull it off." Another said with a laugh. "Those demons wont be able to sit for a hundred years! She became my favorite goddess that day."

Lyra gasped.


End of flashback!


"...and?" I ask when she stopped talking.

"And what? That's it." Lyra said.

"...Are you telling me after all of our efforts to convince so many of your people that I'm not evil... That's all it took to change your mind?" I ask in a deadpan.

"...Yes?" Lyra said in an unsure tone.

"...I see. I don't suppose you would be able to tell me where your main HQ is would you?" I asked her getting an unsure look from the mare. "Look we're still trying to get it through to the others but they won't stop attacking me and what's worse is they are hurting others while doing it. Like the Crystal empire which is now a frozen ghost town. Or how the Juggernaut skinned my girls again and again and made a quilt out of it?" I ask her.

"Wait you mean that thing princess Luna had? That was real! I thought that was just some morbid Nightmare Night prop!" Lyra shouted getting me to sigh while I summon a world map and marker for her.

"They need to be stopped before they go too far." I say and she slowly takes the marker and makes a circle. "Thank you. Would you like me to send you to your mare friend? I'm sure you two have things to discuss." With a nod from her I create a portal and send her to the palace. Once she was gone I look down at the map and I can only blink at the location marked. "Wait... That's where I..."


"What do you mean they weren't there!?" A griffin yelled at the pony sitting at the other end of the table.

"Like I said we have no idea where our comrades are being imprisoned. It's like they disappeared." The pony replied.

"She probably killed them." A donkey said gravely.

"Calm down. We still need to...what's that noise?" A unicorn at the table asked getting silence from the rest of the table. 'clang clang clang CRASH!' Everyone turned in surprise to see a group of equally surprised looking foxes holding pickaxes.

The Beating of my Heart: the Abridged Series.

View Online

I look down at the scene with my keeper sight as the goodlies try to register what is going on. I did not have to wait long.

“Guards!” Shit! As my foxes run away I quickly grab the new flesh golem with my hand and dump it into the room that broke into the enemy base. I am somewhat pleased that my latest creation gave them pause. It was made from dire apes and like the old model was packed with extra muscle. It had two extra arms attached under the old ones and with the opening in its stomach and shape it looked kind of like one of those abominations from the warcraft games and was even armed with things like a giant steel cleaver for that horror movie effect. Not that they could see what it looked like though because it was covered in steel armor.

After my researchers have had time to study the anti magic weapons recovered from goodly attacks they found that it works by creating a whirling storm of energy around one point on the object that when it collides with other energies it diverts their flow scattering what is meant to move in a controlled pattern and as such disrupts the spell. And though they are still working on a way to protect spells against this with no results as of yet they have determined a range of this energy storm from its point and so an idea of how thick armor would need to be to protect constructs like my undead. Unfortunately it’s too thick to work with any conventional undead but the new flesh golem is large enough for it to work.

I keep my focus on the area long enough to see if it works and the Goodly Heroes shake themselves from their short moment of shock and let the arrows fly and they bounce off of the thick steel armor. There is a short moment of tension before the golem appears to tip over only for one foot to stomp forward and in leans down to take a swing with its giant sickle cutting half of the group in range in two while the others were able to dodge. Satisfied with what I saw even if it only got that many because of the narrow space making it too hard for most of the goodlies to get out of the way in time I take two more defensive measures.

First I create blockades protecting vital areas. This meant a wall of barricades in front of a wall of century traps set in a pattern with the normal kind then the party cannon model which is one of the fun toys Pinkie designed for me when she and Vinyl were working together designing traps when I was at that Halloween party. This pattern continued until it reached from one side to the other. The party cannon ones didn’t do as much damage and had half range but they had a good knock back effect, had a scatter shot which is great for when the enemy gets close and was cheaper mana wise to keep around. And finally the last of the three century traps I have, one bass cannon designed by Vinyl was set up behind the front row of cannons. This model’s range was four times the length of the normal model and did ten times the damage but was such a gas guzzler on my mana it normally just isn’t worth it. I then set teams to guard each point.

Second I have my Elites gather my forces and those prepare for battle while I release my mindless dead. As an afterthought I look to the shadow box. When I was afraid that I was going to run out of dead bodies I had my imps work on shadow production twenty-four seven, but that stopped after the gift of those corpse chests. I’m going to have to abandon this dungeon now anyways which means the light that cast them and now sustains them will just have to go out anyways so I just open the box and in less time than it takes they’re already swarming the place I hope that slows them down long enough.

Finally all of my minions that have not been trained to fight are immediately put to work removing everything from my dungeon to my black castle starting from most to least important. So I create a portal in the nursery to get started. My room is the most secure part of my castle at the moment so that is where I’ll send them. As the little ones were being brought to me I glance back over to the breach. The flesh golem is doing well. Enough that if it fell right now I would still be happy with this model and make more later. Unfortunately Most of the goodlies are just storming past it while the few fighting it are more focused on keeping it from attacking the main force that are charging past.

Turncoat, thunderbolt, inferno, swords of revealing light! I cast as strategically as I can but they are hard to keep down. So I turn my attention to the tokens I have. Yes I can split my focus for one more if it helps. Wanting to summon reinforcements into the battlefield quickly I try a little experiment.

Using my hand of evil I tap Asphyxious’s token and try to send a feeling of urgency through it. It works and a portal opens up in my room. I can hear the familiar music of Toon World fill the air making me think that I got the wrong token for a moment.

That's when Asphyxious jumps out of a portal with cartoon dragons on his shoulders. “You call?” He asked with a smile, he was taller. And his hair was now white, that's when he noticed the sound of battle going on. “What’s going on?” To answer his question I drop one of my foxes in front of him.

“Hello. Mistress has sent me to talk for her. She is going through ascension into a goddess and can’t move at the moment. Would you be so kind as to help defend the dungeon?” The fox asked.

Asphyxious sighed as he picked up the fox. “Sure, just let me know if there’s anything I shouldn’t mess with. I already got into trouble when my unliving started to worship Ava.” He said, as Asphyxious points the toon dragons forward. The toon Dragons laughed before speeding down the hall, as Asphyxious follows after them. The fox climbs up the lich’s arm and sits on his shoulders like a child.

Asphyxious paid it no mind as he started to hmm something to himself. “Oh can you tell me, can you tell me, the way that this should work.” He stopped when something missed his head. Asphyxious first looked at what missed his head, then to the one that tried to shoot him. It was one of a team of griffins with crossbows.

“Oh goodie, someone for me to eat.” Asphyxious said as he licked his lips. “I hopped you made your peace, because unlike Rin. I show no mercy.” Asphyxious then started to turn into some kind of dragon, an eighteen foot tall dragon. With black scales that had blue highlights. He let out a roar before changing at them.

“Please tell me you're making progress with that demon!” One of the attackers shouted behind him.

“What demon?” Asphyxious asked as he was in the middle of eating a griffin. Just then a unicorn that was cut up all over flew past them and was impaled on one of Asphyxious’s horns.

“I don't understand! The spells we're using are made to banish even the highest level demons!”

“Ewww, guys really? Throwing dead bodies at me… Really?” Asphyxious asked as he removed, the unicorn only to find the unicorn was still alive. “Also I’m a dragon, say it with me. D-R-AG-ON. Also is this one of yours?” After saying that he saw a new group behind the ones he was fighting moving away from something. There was a brutal crunch and a spray of blood from down the hall. The ground shook with footsteps as Killer the deathclaw walked in and picked up a screaming pony by his head and bite into his torso like he was a juicy melon.

“I so want one.” Asphyxious said with a smile, showing off the rows of fangs in his jaws. But Asphyxious decided to cut down as many of the intruders with his claws and tail. Before the deathclaw could get to them. “So you work for Rin?” He asked the deathclaw that tilted its head at him before continuing its attack.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Asphyxious said then changed into his lich form. “No need to stay in one form, let’s keep them guessing.” He then pushed on to find where the fighting was at its thickest, as well as where Rin is. Asphyxious cut a griffin in half as it ran out from another hallway, with his large sword. “So messy.

“Take a left.” The fox clinging to his head said while pointing to the next turn.

Sure thing skipy.” The Lich replied as he followed the fox directions.

“Skipy? I'm not a skipy I'm an imp.” The fox said. Asphyxious just laughed as he kept going down the hall. He soon came to a large group that was moving down the tunnel with some kind of flame thrower siege weapon that they fired into a room before moving it to the next.

Oh is it my birthday?” Asphyxious asked. As he ran his metal fingers over his sword, as it gave off this horrible sound of metal over metal. “HEY JACKASS!” Asphyxious yelled as he moved to close the distance. “If you're playing with fire, get ready to BURN!” At his words the ones guarding the weapon turned to engage him as the weapon was fired into the next room. As the goodlies took fighting stances Asphyxious froze. Not because of the fear the knights were trying to fill him with but because of the now burning baby toy that was blown out of that room when the weapon went off.

My… Children… Asphyxious asked as the shadows started to grow longer and climb up the walls, even the lights were struggling to keep the dark back. “What have you done… TO MY CHILDREN!” Asphyxious roared as he casted caustic mist on to the knights. There armor started to be eaten away by the acid like mist. But the lich didn’t stop there as he casted hellfire on one of them then, impaled one with his hand and the other with his sword. “YOUR SOULS WILL BE MINE!

Asphyxious swing both arms down sending the body's flying into the floor, with a wet slap. Blue mist rose from the bodies and took the forms of the ones he had just killed. It didn’t take the souls long to realize what was happening as they screamed in fear as they were sucked into his soul cages. ‘Wack!’ He stopped after he was struck with the blunt side of a pickaxe on the head by his passenger.

Asphyxious slowly turned to the one who hit him and glared with all of his fury. “Mistress told me to do that when you couldn’t hear me talking to you. She wanted me to tell you.” The fox said before giving the message like she was reading it off a piece of paper. “You idiot, did you honestly think that the first thing on my mind when the dungeon was compromised wouldn’t be to evacuate the children?”

Sorry, but I’m still angry right now. And thank you for letting me know they're safe.” Asphyxious then throws his sword into the siege weapon. Puncturing the gas line making fire jet out of the back of it, setting its crew on fire. “But the fact they would dare try to harm my children, is unforgivable. And like I said before, I will not show them mercy.

“The problem isn’t that they are evil, they are just stupid. They didn’t even bother to look into the rooms they blast with that thing.” The fox said.

Really? There that stupid?” Asphyxious asked. As a pony ran past with Red Eyes Toon Dragon on its back hitting the pony on the head with a frying pan. “Did that just happen?” He asked looking back at the Fox imp.

“Yes.” The fox said plainly before talking like she was reading aloud again showing that it was Rin talking. “Fear and desperation make anyone stupid. Especially when they were surprised like this. I was expanding a room and realized too late that their main HQ was right next door this entire time. We broke into their counsel room when they were having a meeting by mistake.”

Asphyxious went over to the siege weapon and pulled his sword free from it. He looked at the bodies, and had a thought. “How well can they handle undead?” He asked, looking over the weapon. It wasn’t bad, but his warjacks could easily have something like this mounted to their arm.

“They like to use magic nullifying weapons so good. I’ve already lost half my skeletons. My new flesh golem model is doing okay though but only because of the ridiculously thick armor that I can only give it because it’s so huge.”

I better change forms then, if they hit me with something like that in my lich form. Who knows what will happen.” Asphyxious added, until he knows how strong these nullifiers are. He was going to play it safe and go back into his human form. “Where do I go?” The fox just sat there a moment like it was waiting for something before responding.

“The breach is not far and it is where most of the fighting is. The flesh golem is making it hard for them but many are ignoring the dangers and are just running through. Take the next right and follow that until you see a barricade held by a Trixie with a pokeball cutie mark and my pokemon. Once you get there you should be able to get there from the sounds of my giant undead abomination thrashing around.”

“Let me guess, you set up a lot of traps ahead of them.” Asphyxious asked as he started walking. “You should have a glue and father trap just for kicks.”

“I have a party cannon sentry trap made by Pinkie as well as party landmines that launch enemies into the air while hitting them with a temporary gravity enchantment that makes them as light as balloons so the slightest breeze makes them fly around.”

“My god, your dungeon is like a fun house for my toon monsters.” Asphyxious said, as he pulled out a card and out popped a toon Magician girl who giggled. “Go have fun.” The toon give a fluttershy like yay before flying off. Just as soon as she left two individuals jumped into Ax’s path. One was an obesily fat earth pony while the other was a completely bald minotaur wearing jeans and a T-shirt.

“My god you look like butters.” Asphyxious said, then blinked at what he just said. “Where did that come from?”

“Stop monster! We heard you talking and know that thing riding on-” The pony began to say before Ax screamed.

“AHHHH! Monster!” Asphyxious yelled pointing at them and ran away from them. But really this was a trap on his part. He was having too much fun with this.

“Look out!” The fox screamed and Ax turned just in time to be bowled over by the fat pony that was sliding along the ground penguin style. Leaving a trail of grease behind.

“Dude, are you sonic’s fat cousin?” Asphyxious then looked at the grease. “Eww… Dude have you ever heard of a bath?”

“We are the disciples of Strong Heart! We have come to avenge him!”

“Oh you mean the fat ass I pushed down the stares… That was funny.” Asphyxious added with a smile.

“How dare you! Trash like you doesn't deserve the honor but I will crush you with my magical transformation!” The bald minotaur shouted in outrage.

Asphyxious then took out a book and started reading it. As he was doing this the minotaur balanced himself on one hoof and started spinning like a ballerina. Soon there was a tearing sound and he gave off a light that blinded Ax for a moment. When he could see again the bull was standing there completely naked. Not even fur to cover his private parts. The light came from foil that was glued to the inside of his cloths that were now lying in tatters on the ground.

“...Here hold this.” Asphyxious said throwing the bull his book. “Not even Ava would go near that.” He added before lighting a fire spell. “Let me ask a question, is this grease flammable?”

“Nice try monster but no. That is my sweat!” The pony boasted and the fox tried to scoot further away from the part of Ax covered in it. While he was distracted the bull jumped onto Ax and grabbed him in a full body lock.

“Now where is the dark fox!?” The pony demanded.

“Blizzard.” Asphyxious said as cold wind and snow explodes around them, turning the hall into a frozen tundra. “As for your question, don’t know. But seeing as you're naked and the other ones covered in sweat. Let see who lasts longer in the cold as your body freezes over.” Soon the bull started to shiver but stubbornly hung on. Even started trying to poke Ax in the eye with his nipple.

“...Are you coming on to me?” Asphyxious asked as he kept his eye closed. “Also what was the point of that?”

“Use whatever weapons you can.” The bull said before shouting in surprise when the fox whacked him on the head with her pickaxe. ‘Thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk thunk.’ “Stop that!”

“Funny, that’s my saying only I would not do something as stupid as use a nipple.” Asphyxious said as he pulled out his cutlass. “But here’s a question for you. What freeze faster, a naked body or a body covered in sweat…” Asphyxious just pointed back to the bull’s friend, who was shivering while pulling icicles off of his body. He reached under himself and pulled a surprisingly long one and ran at Ax trying to use it as a dagger.

“You don’t know who you're dealing with.” Asphyxious said, as he pulled out his shotgun, and fired it. Taking out one of the pony legs, making him fall over in pain. “I love the sound of acid.” Asphyxious added, as the pony screamed even louder in pain. As his leg is being eaten away by the acid rounds. “Let me guessed how you cloned him, mirror pool right?”

“Handsome Jack!” The bull shouted his friends name in panic at seeing him taken down with the shot. “You bastard!”

“Oh my god! He’s called Handsome Jack?!” Asphyxious burst out laughing. “Oh god, I have to tell Jack about this!” Asphyxious then started to make a call on his echo. “Jack you won’t believe this, there’s a fat pony with your name! No I’m not joking, I shot him in the leg… No I will not send you a picture.”

“Stop ignoring me!” The bull shouted as he let go of Ax and lowered his head to impale the lich. Only to be bit on the nose by Blue eye toon dragon.

“Raven you fool go get backup!” Handsome Jack shouted to his fellow disciple.

“Oh my god… I am never telling my Hoard mate about you, or she’ll kill me for the jokes I could make.” Asphyxious said laughing, As the Toon dragon would not let go of the bull’s face.

“I am so confused. At first when this fight started the mistress was begging Luna to gouge out her eyes while screaming about them multiplying. But now she’s just laughing while trying to tell herself to keep raining spells on the enemy.” The fox said.

“It a displaced thing, you’ll understand when you’re older. Or when Rin tells you.” Asphyxious replied as he shot the bull in the knee and started to walk off. Leaving the toon Dragon to jump on the bull, like he was a trampoline.

“I have two months before I expire. Will I know by then?” The fox asked curiously as if it were a normal question. Asphyxious looked at the fox sadly before cuddling it.

“You poor thing.” He said cuddling it as he walked off while the Toon dragon fired off it special attack. Before flying away to look for someone else to play with.

“I don’t understand your reaction.” The fox said blankly before listening to my words to her. “You misunderstand. I am a more advanced kind but I am an imp. I have no soul or mind of my own. I am created using my creator's mind to make an advanced kind of magical A.I.”

“I still feel bad you have a short life span.” Asphyxious replied.

“It can’t be helped. The mistress can’t make the kind that feed off her magic without them overloading and exploding now that she is a goddess and my kind require life force. The more life force used in our creation the longer we last. And what was in reserve was divided between ten of us.”

“So, any more bad guys I have to find or have my toon monsters dealt with them?” Asphyxious asked, looking at a dead body.

“The front lines.” The fox reminded. “That way.” She pointed from his arms. Asphyxious smiled and walked that way. Then started singing a song to himself. The trip was pretty uneventful as they found the barricade with the Trixie commanding a Blastoise, Mr. Mime and an Electabuzz. Once they passed it the battle got more intense as wave after wave of goodlies attacked him.

“Damn… They're like ants.” Asphyxious said, as he castes a lightning spell shocking them. “How many are there?”

“I don’t know. We broke into their place by mistake.” The fox said but had to grab onto Asphy when he stumbled at taking an arrow in a place far too cliche to say out loud.

“That… Was to close… and still went into my leg…” Asphyxious growled as he pulled the arrow out. “Haha! You missed my balls!” Asphyxious yelled as he castes hellfire at them with caustic mist into the opening. As he burned and cut his way through the waves stopped and he could hear cheering from the goodlies chanting for the coming of something called the storm golem.

“Why does it have a number on it?” Asphyxious asked blinking at it. That’s when he remembered what Dark Magician aka Marshal told him about numbered monsters. “Oh please let this be a coincidence.”

“Wait isn’t that the Mmmmmmmmmm! Pu pu pu!” The fox said while looking up at it.

“You okay?” Asphyxious asked.

“Sorry, I wasn’t supposed to repeat that. When the mistress was talking one of the babies put something in her mouth.” The fox replied.

“That is so cute.” Asphyxious replied as he gave a whistle, and his three toon monster showed up by his side. And the Red eyes was wearing a pan on it head. “So, how do we take this thing down?”

“The mistress was trying to say isn’t that the Gate Guardian?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know much about these cards.” Asphyxious said looking at the deck of cards he pulled out.

“Mistress said it’s from a show and this one is an extremely powerful one created by combining three monsters. Their elements are lightning, water and wind.” The fox said.

“Yeah, Dark told me something like that” Asphyxious then found something odd, the Guardian was looking at him. “Ummm, it's staring at me… What do I do?” The giant stood there for a moment before twin pegasi flew in front of it and struck a pose.

“We apologize for being late.” The first one said.

“But rest assured we now seal their fate!” The second replied. Asphyxious just blinked at them as they started to rhyme, he sighed at this and thought he didn’t have time.

“Listen here you pare of clods. Back off or I’ll kick some arss!” Asphyxious shouted back.

“You’re just mad that your side does suck!” Brother #1 said.

“For this one’s number means your bad luck.” Brother #2 said.

“Do you not tremble at the giant you’ve seen?” Brother #1 said.

“Because you will now die by Gate Guardian thirteen!” Brother #2 finished.

“You guys suck that is a fact, so I challenge you to a dual how about that?” Asphyxious asked, as he realized what the just said.

“We accept if that is your last request.”

“Now prepare for us to lay you to rest!”

“Wait I take it back!” Asphyxious shouted but but it was too late as a circle of magical energy formed around them.

“What is this trick that you have planed?”

“Against our giant it will not stand!”

“I have no idea, what about you gang?” Asphyxious asked, as the toon monsters turned back into cards and went into his deck. “Oh… I think I know now. We’re in a dual, so we have to play by the game’s rules… I know nothing about this game!?”

“Hahaha! Fell for your own trap not knowing the way?”

“...But brother. We do not know how to play.” At his brother's words he froze before looking at the cards that appeared out of nowhere on his foreleg nervously.

“Well...buck.”

“Ummm, Sparky. Any help?” Asphyxious asked the fox. “Does Rin know anything about this game? If not have her call the Dark Magician by his token for help.” After a short moment an illusion image of three foxes in strange looking cloths appeared in the middle of the two sides and giant cards appeared over their heads as they started explaining the rules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY42O50X-Ns

“So, who’s turn is it?” Asphyxious asked, looking at the brothers.

“The first honors shall be mine!” The left brother said. “First I place two cards face down and summon my Jirai Gumo in attack mode!” (Atk 2200/ Def 100.)

“Okay here goes nothing.” Asphyxious said looking at the cards in his hand. “I summon Toon Cannon Soldier. And play one card face down… Wait, did I do that right?” (Atk 1400/ Def 1300) The Toon posed as it made bring it gestures with its hands.

“It doesn't matter you’re still going to fall!” Said one brother.

“Once this mess is over we’ll destroy you all!” Said the other brother as he drew a card. A deep frown showing on his face.

“Wait, you’re both playing me? That's not fair it’s two against one!” Asphyxious yelled at them. They just smirked at this.

“Now I play one card face down and end my turn.”

“And now I’ll Ahhh!” The other brother shouted when he tried to draw a card and was badly electrocuted for it.

“Ummm, I guess the game agrees with me…” Asphyxious said blinking in confusion. “Now what do we do?”

“But there is no one else in this circle to play!”

“Are we stuck in this trap for the rest of the day!?”

“Do you think we’ll get to keep these?” The fox sitting on Ax’s head asked while holding up a deck of cards.

“Wait… You have a deck too?” Asphyxious asked, then started smiling. “It’s your turn!”

“But I can’t strategize. I’m a construct.” She replied but then paused.

“Relax you have one thing they don’t. Rin helping you.” Asphyxious said and put the fox down. The fox nodded and looked at her cards. Her ears twitching like she was listening to something.

“I place one monster down in face down defense position. Then I play the field card Yami. I then place two card face down.” She said as the area was surrounded in darkness. Her ears twitched again. “Oh, okay. I’ll also play Pot of Greed and draw two new cards. That ends my turn.” Once that was said the pony that got cooked gave his deck a few experimental taps before drawing a card

“Now I sacrifice my Jirai Gumo to summon my Labyrinth Wall in attack mode!” (Atk 0/ Def 3000) The pony declared as a small stone walls formed in front of him.

Asphyxious then tries to draw his next card, Only to get shocked. “Ouch! Okay… I guess I was out of turn or something. My bad.” Asphyxious said, in between turns he had been reading what the cards do. Now all he had to do was work out how to play them the right way.

“Now I play Shield and Sword! This spell swaps all of our monsters attack and defense points!”

Labyrinth Wall (Atk 3000/ Def 0)

Toon Cannon Soldier (Atk 1300/ Def 1400)

“What the crap!?” Asphyxious yelled in surprise. As the Toon Cannon soldier looked back at him in panic.

“Now my wall, destroy that toon and take a chunk out of the creature's life points!” The toon looked panicked as the walls moved towards it but before it was crushed it vanished in a flash of light and was replaced by the face down card. Once the attack was made a strange fuzzy slime creature jumped past the walls and into one of the brothers. “What's this!? What have you done!?”

“Who would ruin my brothers fun!?”

“Um, you activated my trap card. Shift. When one monster is a target on our side of the field I can chose another to take its place. You attacked my Giant Germ. If a monster destroys it in battle then you loose five hundred life points and I get to special summon others of the same name from my deck.” The fox said aloud making the brothers growl as another giant germ appeared on the field.

Asphyxious laughed at this. “Nice move Skipy! I was a little worried there.” The Toon then jumps on top of the wall dancing and laughing.

“I have no choice but to end my turn.”

“Don’t worry brother this victory we will earn.” His brother said as a single life point box appeared between the two brothers going down to [7500] While this was happening both cringed as red energy coated them for a moment.

“Wait our partners share our score?” Brother #1 asked.

“So we don’t need to worry about facing one more.” Brother #2 replied.

“Oh I don’t know about that.” Said Asphyxious with a smile. “It’s my turn now right? Anyway I summon Toon Alligator in defense mod.” (800 Atk 1600 Def) “Next I give up 1000 points to use my face down card Toon World.” At this a cartoon pop up book sprouted into existence. “Now I’ll attack with Toon cannon, Open fire little dude!” The Toon Cannon Soldier smiled as it fired the cannon and hit the brothers directly. The two shouted in surprise of the explosions. “I end my turn.”

Team Ax [7000]
Team paradox [6100]

“Now it’s my turn!” The second brother said as he drew a card. “Now I play soul exchange so that I can sacrifice one of your creatures to summon my own. Say goodby to that deranged cannon and hello to my Dungeon Worm!” (Atk 1800 Def 1500) “Unfortunately I can’t attack the turn I use soul exchange so I end my turn.”

“How could you do that to my monster.” Asphyxious asked as the Toon Alligator cried. “You even made the toon gator cry.”

“It shot me in the face!” Brother one shouted.

“Besides it wasn’t a waste.” The other added. Toon Alligator just made faces at them.

“Now it’s my turn!” The fox shouted as she drew her card in a manner far more dramatic than necessary. “You may have the advantage of the craziest hair here!” The fox shouted making everyone look at the afro created when one of the brothers got shocked. “But it won’t be enough to save you! I place one monster face down to defend my life points and end my turn!”

“...What does my mane have to do with this?”

“And what’s with the spasms and strange twists of the wrist?”

“...I don’t know. Mistress told me to say and do those things.” The fox admitted. Asphyxious sigh and facepalm at this.

“...I draw!” The first brother shouts out after a moment of eye twitching. “I place one monster face down in defense mode and play another shield & sword and attack your face down with my labyrinth wall!” At this the walls began shifting again and rushed forward to hit the fox’s face down monster. There was a loud crashing sound but when the wall moved back the creature was still there. A dead human with glowing red eyes and a fine purple cloak wielding a scythe.

“Nice try! But my Spirit Reaper of bouncers can’t be destroyed in battle!” The fox shouts out.

“I don’t see any I.D.” The reaper said.

“Wait, you guys can talk?” Asphyxious asked, as Toon Alligator nods its head and give the lich a hug. “Okay…”

“Then I end my turn.” The brother said in an aggravated tone.

Asphyxious draws his next card, and the Toon Alligator laughed evilly at the card he just got. “Oh you want me to play this, you sure?” Asphyxious asked. The Toon nods its head with a big cartoony grin. “Okay I send Toon Alligator to the graveyard in order to summon Toon Summoned Skull.” A large claw like hand comes out of the pop up book and grabs Toon Alligator and pulled it into the book. It slams shut as it was making strange sounds then the book opens again with Toon Summoned Skull popping out laughing evilly. (Atk 2500 Def 1200) “I then place one card face down and end my turn.”

“Then it’s my turn.” The next brother said as he drew a card and looked at it. “...Brother would you miss your hand?”

“That’s a loss that I can stand.”

“Then I play card destruction! Now we all must discard our hands and draw the same number of cards we’ve just lost.” The pony said forcing everyone to throw away their hands and draw again.

“Crap, I only have 4 cards in my hand.” Asphyxious said to himself as he looks at his new hand of cards.

“Now I sacrifice my dungeon worm and my face down to summon the lord of thunder Sanga. (Atk 2600 Def 2200) “Now destroy that abomination the toon summoned skull!”

“You set off my trap Magical hats!” Asphyxious yelled, as the toon summoned skull jumped into a hat. Then 2 more appeared and start shuffling themselves. “You get to attack my hats but if you got the wrong one then my Toon gets away free. But I get to chose any non-monster cards from my deck to place under the other hats. And if you attack one of those it activates! Wow I’m getting way too into this.” The brother looks at the hats that were dancing around the field to the song one of these things is not like the other.

“Now attack the hat that just did a split! How does a hat even do that!?” The pony shouted.

“...I don’t know, they don’t have legs.” Asphyxious said in a deadpan manner. At the surge of lightning struck the offending hat. Purple mist started to come out of where the hat was destroyed.

“Nice but not close, you set off Call of the haunted. That can bring back one monster from my graveyard, and I picked Toon Alligator.” Said Asphyxious, as the Toon Alligator get up with it arms out like a zombie before laughing and dancing the thriller.

“Brother we are losing this bad!” The brother that just attacked said.

“We can still win this so don’t get mad.” His brother said.

“I place one card and end my turn.” Brother #2 said.

“Okay I-” The fox started to say.

“Get on with it!” The brothers shouted at the same time when it was clear she was about to ham it up again.

“I draw, and I place one monster face down and play different dimension capsule.” A green coffin appeared on the field while the fox looked through her deck and chose one card to place off to the side. On the field a giant card was placed in the coffin and sealed inside. “I end my turn.” The fox said in a Maud approved monotone. The brothers were now giving that coffin a suspicious glare as two hour glasses formed on either side signifying a count down.

“I draw, and because I don’t want to know what is in that coffin I’ll take it out now with harpie's feather duster destroying all of your magic and trap cards!” The first brother said and a harpy came into the room fussing about how dusty everything is and dusting the fox and then Ax in the face with a feather destroying all of their magic and trap cards. With toon world gone Toon summoned skull died and so did Toon Alligator with Asphyxious trap card.

“Oh crap…” Asphyxious said as he looked at the field.

“Now I sacrifice my wall and face down card to summon Kazejin the politician!” The first brother said as he summoned the big green wind bag. (Atk 2400 Def 2200)

“Is that its real name?” Asphyxious asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s the name on the card.” The pony replied while giving the card a suspicious glance. “Now Kazejin attack the defenseless one!”

“I promise free money in every cereal box, I promise no more crime, I promise an easy medical plan that won’t screw you over!” The wind monster shouted out blasting Ax with a strong gust of hot wind.

Team Ax [4600]

“Well that sucked… Did I just make a pun?” Asphyxious asked.

“No. If you had said that blows you would have.” The fox relayed for Rin.

“Right my turn.” Asphyxious said as he looked at his next card. “I place one monster card face down in defense mode and end my turn.”

“Then I draw and play monster reborn to bring back the Suijin that I discarded when I played card destruction. Now my brother and I can tribute our three monsters to summon our Gate Guardian!” (Atk 3750 Def 3400) “Now attack his face down monster!” The pony said while pointing at Ax. There was a brief image of a dragon screaming in pain as it was blasted before shattering like glass. “And that ends my turn.”

“Damn it.” Asphyxious growled. “How’s anyone meant to kill that thing.”

“Mistress said when brute force fails think outside the box.” The fox said as she drew a card. “I place one card face down and remove three fiend typs from my graveyard to special summon Dark Necrofear in defense mode.” (Atk 2200 Def 2800) I then set one monster face down in defense mode and end my turn.

“Outside the box…” Asphyxious said to himself as he looks at the cards in his hand.

“Now it’s my turn. And I play change of heart so that I can attack with the Gate Guardian and take out one of your face downs.” At this it attacked the last card the fox played destroying it.

“You attacked my Newdoria the troll. Like all fiends he’s vindictive so when he’s destroyed he takes one of your monsters with him.” The fox said as the Gate Guardian exploded into shards.

“Nice try but I activate call of the haunted to bring our guardian back.” Brother #1 said. “I place one monster in defense mode and end my turn.”

Asphyxious then smiled at the cards in his hand, he had a plan. But he needed something to make it work. He draws his next card. “I play Ancient Rules. I can now Special Summon one Level five or higher monster from my hand. Blue eye white dragon in defiance mode.” Asphyxious said, as the card appeared on the field. A large dragon roared as it place on the field. (3000 Atk 2500)

“But that’s not all I then use polymerization, guess what coming next?” Asked Asphyxious.

“No you don’t Magic Jammer!” One of the brothers shouted revealing his face down. “I don’t know what that card does but you were too confident.” He said as he discarded a card.

“There goes my plan.” Asphyxious then looks at his cards again, he then had an idea. “Hey Fox, think you can bring back Toon world for me?” The fox blinked at him before revealing her face down trap card Graverobber.

“How did you know what my face down was?” The fox asked as he took a card that floated down. “This is going to be expensive.” Once she played the card it took the 1000 life point cost to play and the 2000 life point cost from using grave robber.

Team Ax [1600]

“I know but bear with me here. I use monster reborn next to bring Red Eyes Toon Dragon to the field, then I sacrificed my blue eyes to call on Toon Magician girl. I then place this card face down and end my turn.”

“Then I draw. And attack your magician.” At his ponies words the guardian charged up and attacked.

“You set off my trap card Mirror force.” Asphyxious said as the card takes the attack and sends it back at the brothers Guardian destroying it.

“Then I use my own Call of the haunted to bring back our guardian and end my turn.” The pony said.

“They’re really clinging to that monster aren't they. Mistress said.” The fox voiced.

“My guess is it’s the only monster with any real firepower in their decks.” Asphyxious replied annoyed.

“Okay I draw.” The fox said and looked at what she just drew. “Is your hand good?” The fox asked Ax.

“Not really, I just need something that can kick that Guardian to bits.” Asphyxious replied.

“Then I flip summon one of my face down cards. Morphing Jar. Now we all discard our hands and draw five cards.” The fox said as she tossed her one card and drew five. “Now I sacrifice my jar and giant term to summon one monster face down. Can I see what’s in the others graveyard?”

“I guess so?” Asphyxious replied. “Do you have a card that lets you do that?” At this a list appears in front of the fox which she looks over then nods.

“I play monster reborn to bring back Blue Eyes Toon Dragon.” The fox said summoning the little creature which waves excitedly over at Ax.

“Nice to have you back buddy.” Asphyxious said to the toon dragon.

“Now I play Riryoku which allows me to cut one monster's attack points in half and give those points to another until the end of my turn.” At the fox’s words the brothers eye’s widen and they look to their guardian in fear as its attack points drop to (1875) and Toon Blue Eyes’s attack goes up to (4875) “I think this is going to hurt...you...a lot. Blue Eyes please attack that guardian.” Blue Eyes Toon Dragon laughs before sucking in air as his body expands like a balloon. Before releasing its attack in a huge beam of light blowing the guardian away. “I end my turn.”

Team Paradox [3100]

“What do you think of that? We didn’t just destroy your monster once but three times now. Once more and you're out of here!” Asphyxious said with a smile.

“I draw.” Brother #1 said in agitation. “And I play Scapegoat to defend myself and end my turn.”

“Okay, what do I play.” Asphyxious thinks hard about this, to him it looks like he has nothing useful. But maybe he was going about this the wrong way. He draws his next card and looks at it. “Oh to hell with it, Red eyes attack these nut jobs.” Red Eyes Toon Dragon smiled showing off its fangs before firing a huge fireball at one of the scapegoats blowing it away.

“Next up is Toon magician girl attacked the next scapegoat.” He ordered. Toon Magician girl held her wand like a bat and hit one of the goats sending it flying. “I now end my turn.”

“Then I draw and place one monster to defend myself and end my turn.” Brother #2 said.

“Okay. I’m going to win the game now if you don’t mind.” The fox said before she drew a card.

“Go for it Sparky.” Asphyxious said with a smile. “Kick there asses to OBLIVION!” Everyone waited a moment while looking at Ax expectantly. After a moment there was a sound of a throat clearing and he turned to see a donkey behind him.

“Ummm, no offense?” Asphyxious said.

“None taken.” The donkey said. “You won't believe how hard it was to get all the way over here and into this thing when my donkey senses started tingling. All those royal guards outside didn’t want me to pass but princess Celestia let me through.”

“Wait what!?” One of the brothers shouted at hearing this.

“While your trump card the Gate Guardian was trapped in here Mistress was taking down the other invaders and stalled long enough for princess Celestia and her royal guards to get here. The battle ended ten minutes ago. That’s what mistress is telling me to say.” The fox relayed.

“Well that’s good to hear.” Asphyxious said with a smile.

“Now I switch my toon to defense mode and play the magic card Spell Reproduction. It lets me send two cards in my hand to the graveyard and in exchange I can get one spell card back and I chose a card you made me discard before. Curse of Fiend which forces all defending monsters into attack mode and all attack mode monsters into defense mode. And now that your two scapegoats which have zero attack points are in attack mode I attack one with Blue Eyes!” The toon laughed manically before flying over and belly flopping onto the helpless goat. Doing 3000 points of damage to the brothers life points. “Now Dark Necrofear take out the last scapegoat and the last of their life points.” At the fox’s command the bald woman leaped forward and crushed the last goat with her broken doll ending the game. With that the magic circle keeping them trapped evaporated along with the cards that weren't there to begin with. When the area was clear the brothers laid knocked out on the ground as the card of the Gate Guardian fell to the ground and was quickly snatched up by the hand of evil. "Mistress wants me to say yoink!"

“Well that was fun.” Asphyxious said looking around. “Wait… Did she just take my blue eyes toon dragon?” he looked at his deck and sighed in relief that it was still there. “I better see Rin and make sure my kids are okay.”

“That’s fine. We can take it from here.” Celestia said as a portal opened up in the floor near by which Ax took quickly and came into a large room made from black crystal with the babies and the changelings all over the room.

“I would give you a high paw but I’m a little buried at the moment." I said from under the babies that were using me as a jungle gym while Luna was just sitting back giggling.

“What happened to you?” Asphyxious asked walking over to me. “Come on kids off of Rin now.”

“What do you mean?” I ask as I sit up getting a look from him. Then I remembered Summer said that my powers and body may go through some changes during the transition period of my ascension. Using my magic I summon a mirror to look at myself. My fur has changed to black and I am now wearing that mask I wore before I became a displaced only the expression changed to a more quizzical one and instead of eyes I have empty sockets with small blue fires floating in them as my pupils. I reach a paw up to take off the mask but quickly realize that’s my face.

“Got to say the mask looks cool on you.” Asphyxious said as he’s looking over me.

“That’s my face.” I say only to see in my reflection my mouth didn’t move. “What?” I say as I blink and now the expression on my face was surprised. Deciding to test the waters I made different faces but the mask only changes when I blink and it’s instant. “Great my face work’s like Hexadecimal’s from Reboot.”

“That’s… Interesting.” Asphyxious said blinking at me with his good eye. “Well, you still look lovely as ever.”

“And it’s still never going to happen.” I say before I summon another token of the Dark Magician. “Alright I know you’ve been spying on me again. Was that one of your number cards?” I asked aloud.

“I know don’t get your fur in a twist.” Asphyxious replied. “Oh and Katily is a dragon now.”

“Yeah. That is one of them. Want me to come over to pick it up?” Dark Magician asked from over the token.

“I want to know how it started that game.” I say as I create a portal to get the children somewhere safe before I let the hand of evil drop the card in my paws in case it popped out again. I could feel it try and push its will on me but I push back a lot harder.

“Beats me on that one. Asked Lich Boy. He's the one who issued the challenge in the first place.” Dark Magician answered while sounds of Dark Magician Girls giggling can be heard in the background.

“Why ask me? I don’t know how that all got started.” Asphyxious replied then blinks. “Wait, how am I hearing you?”

“And why does your girlfriend’s voice sound deeper?” I asked.

“Magic or pulling a Pinkie Pie take your pick and my girlfriend has become a busty pink dragoness thanks to Ava.” Dark Magician answered.

“Like I said, Katily is a dragon now.” Said Asphyxious calmly.

“Oh is pervy Lich there with you too?” Dark Magician Girl asked over the token.

“No, this is Asphyxious pervy girl.” Asphyxious repled bluntly and disinterested.

“Not that such a bickering would not be entertaining but aunty. You said some kind of game was started?” Luna asked.

“Yes and I want to learn how it works.” I reply.

“Well up until thy friend arrived we could feel thee tapping into thy divine powers. Was one of thy many aspects not games?” Luna asked.

“...that was me?” I asked incredulously. But then I stopped to think about it. “That would explain why the game shifted in and out of Yu-gi-oh the abridged series territory.”

“I’ll need to look up what that is on my echo some time, wounder if Jack has the internet?” Asphyxious asked as he rubbed his chin.

“I got internet in my tower.” Dark Magician said over the token.

“Not interested Marshal.” Asphyxious quickly replied. “I trust you a little more than your perverted girlfriend.”

“Hey Dark I’m surprised you haven’t come around to check out my new library. I just got a butt load of worshipers for my aspects of lost and forbidden knowledge and they’ve been coming from worlds all over to add their arcane knowledge to it.” I say aloud.

“I already know about that library. Some of the Revive Twilight's have been there. Plus by creating that place you had saved yourself from getting sniped by that goodie member that just won’t died.” Dark Magician answered the question.

“I have a question why did you dump a Sunset in my world, I still call bullshit on your noctromanic.” Asphyxious asked with irritated growl.

“The Revives have the right to go wherever they want. Some need to be given a little push. Plus I know you like Sunsets.” Dark Magician answered back calmly.

“Still don’t make what you're doing right. You’re taking beings who have died and denying them their right to rest in peace. To me that’s not helping… It’s playing god.” Asphyxious replied in a cold tone. “Also, she’s not my Sunset… So I’ll do what you can’t. Give her a place to call home.”

“...He’s doing what now? You aren't taking them from their after lives are you?” I ask.

“Some Revives calls my town home some don’t so they look for some place else. Plus I am giving them a chance to live a full life that was unjustly cut short.” Dark Magician answered back. “Honestly one or two Twilights argues with me more times then I can count.” He added with a sigh.

“If it’s a wandering soul that stays by choice that’s one thing but taking from the afterlife is wrong.” I say.

“You’re breaking rules you do not understand.” Asphyxious added. “Even in necromancy there are rules and rights that must be followed. You should stop this before something happens to your world, who knows what unforeseen damage you could be doing.”

“I am taking steps to deal with any damage that comes my way.” Dark Magician answered back.

“No one ever listens to me.” Asphyxious said waving his arm in the air.

“Death has been at this a lot longer than you and he hates being cheated. He’ll find a way to make you pay for every soul you take.” I say sadly. “Please don't get yourself killed.”

“Actually Death is a girl well a displaced one at least.” Dark Magician deadpans.

“That is a death. I’m talking about the original. Even if he doesn't do that much reaping himself anymore he still gets involved.” I reply.

“And for all we know there are more than one… One for each Equestria, for every life you bring back. Is a soul they lose. They have to be pissed.” Asphyxious added looking around my room.

“I will deal with them when the time comes. Right now shouldn’t you be checking for any Goodie Heroes that may have gotten away?” I just sigh at his stubborn refusal to believe he could get himself in over his head.

“Some probably have and I don’t doubt that the other basses know about my dungeon by now. It’s being stripped as we speak and I already have my foxes digging and fortifying a new location.” I say as I look over the Gate Guardian cared in my paws before it glows and forms in my room. “OH SHIT!”

“Cool your fox tits. It works for you now since you got its card and your will is strong enough to control it.” Dark Magician deadpanned.

Asphyxious then started to drum his fingers on the table the bell sprout was planted on making the small pokemon look up at him curiously before it started to sway to the beat. It was a 4 tap bet, a short pass then he repeats. He looked up at me as I stared at him. “What?” He asked. I just shook my head at this as a red flash appeared in the room bringing Octavia who was now upside down on the floor.

“You did better the first time. Have something for me?” I ask her. She just stares at me for a moment and gets up to walk over to me. She climbs up into my bed and starts rubbing up against me like a cat. “...what are you doing?” I ask her.

“That is something I’d like to know.” Asphyxious asked with a smile, as he was watching this. Octavia’s eyes widened in horror when she realized what she was doing and jumped away.

“I’m so terribly sorry I just don’t know what came over me. I just… I feel like a million bits! Something about you is making me feel amazing. Like I can take on the world!” She said with a huge smile. “I think… even my hunger for blood has been filled.

“I felt the same way when Ava has her way with me, and my hoard mates.” Asphyxious added with a cheeky grin. I just sigh at his words.

“Ax I got drunk and went on a rampage around the multiverse and now I am a goddess of darkness, games, pranks, lost and forbidden knowledge, monsters, dark heroes and lastly and what is probably influencing her right now. Undeath. Strange things are going to happen.” I say.

“You should meet Dox and Ava. The story’s they could tell.” He replied.

“I’ve already met Dox.” I say. “He was grouchy.” I then turn to Octavia. “So, report?”

“Three hundred and seventy two captured and more than twice that dead. Because you have everyone moving everything to the new dungeon location the bodies are all still laying around. As for our losses we lost ninety percent of our mindless dead including the new flesh golem to what witnesses call the peeing monster. Apparently it attacks with water wind and electricity.” Octavia said with a look of disgust. Asphyxious bust out laughing. “Honestly who builds a golem with a water attack and has it come out from between its legs? Anyways the bone golem is fine. As for our intelligent forces We’ve suffered our first losses. We’ve lost two dragons, four black knights and the hydra.” I sigh sadly at this.

“I guess it could have been much worse. Have the Hydra frozen so I can use its blood and bones.” I then turn to Ax. “Think your dogs would appreciate the meat?”

“I think they would enjoy it.” Asphyxious replied with a smile.

“I’ll have to remember to build the next dungeon with more space. Make large areas connected with tunnels instead of so many tunnels with some rooms. That will make it easier for my undead to swarm and I probably lost the hydra because it’s not built for cramped spaces.”

“Sounds like my den back home.” Asphyxious replied.

“For what it’s worth Rhino was devastating in this fight.” Octavia said.

“A heavily armored giant bore in tunnels where no one can get out of the way of his charge. Yes I can see that.” I say. I then look up to the Gate Guardian. “So what kind of job would you like?” I ask and without making a sound it projected its response to me. “With a name like Gate Guardian I should have guessed. You can act as a guardian of my new city then.” I say and the giant bowed before leaving my room. “Well anyways I have a lot of work ahead of me building a new dungeon and having everything moved so I’ll talk to you guys later.” I say to the other displaced.

“Ok. I will talk to you another time. Right now I’m going to go watch my sister Blaze set Scout’s ass on fire again.” Dark Magician said as sounds of him walking away was heard on the token. Asphyxious was rubbing the back of Octavia head, and I found it cute how she kept trying to bat his hand away like a cat.

“Oh before I send you home Ax. You said you wanted a deathclaw earlier?” I asked him.

“Not right now, I would like one but after the eggs hatch and Raven’s baby is born.” Asphyxious replied. Sounds like he’s going to have his hands full.

“Well just letting you know we do have eggs and they are at the level of smart dogs so they can be trained.” I say to him. He then hugs me.

“Please can I have one?” Asphyxious asked looking up at me, like I was his mother. While he was doing this I moved my tail around to his soul cage and in a quick motion removed and forced the souls of those goodlies into the afterlife without Ax noticing.

“So long as you promise to be a responsible pet owner and take good care of it.” I say summoning an egg and a copy of my notes on proper deathclaw care. Asphyxious nods his head and took both the notes and egg.

“I’ll look after it as if it was my own.” He added, putting his ear to the egg. I just smile gently at that.

“Then if you’re ready our contract is complete.” I say and a portal opened for him to use to get home. Asphyxious waves good bye as he walked into the portal and left. I then sigh as I focus on my new dungeon and summon a gem to collect some life force to create a new dungeon heart.

“I've been meaning to change out the one made from conjured materials anyways.”

The Worlds Most Horrifying Game of Golf.

View Online

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The human skeleton screamed as it rose up.

"Why must they scream every time?" I ask myself as I put a shield and sword on its back. "Okay now go help move things to the new rooms." I order and the skeleton promptly left to follow the order. "And that was two hundred. That should be enough right?" I ask my butler fox who only gave me a blank look. "Right... forgot you can't have an opinion." I say flatly.

"Hey boss! I was told you wanted to see me as soon as I was done helping Tavi set up that underground mansion." Vinyl asked as she walked in. "Sorry I'm late but on my way I passed one of those dumpsters set about until we get the trash disposal system set up again and someone threw out a perfectly good pinball machine so I took it back to the mansion."

"Toss it out." I say in a demanding voice. "I never want to see that thing ever again! And trust me if you knew where it's been you wouldn't want it either."

"Not want a free pinball machine!? Blasphemy!" Vinyl shouted while shaking her hoof dramatically.

"Oh for the love of, here's a shiny new pinball machine. Now get rid of that disgusting thing. You don't know where it's been." I say after creating a new game. "Then I want you to go to Canterlot and find some vampires to recruit. Feel free to take Octavia along and please stop that." I say as Vinyl started brushing her muzzle against my leg like a dog wanting to be petted. "Normally I would be glad to give you some tummy scratches but we're on a strict time schedule here."

"Sorry about that boss. Tavi wasn't kidding. You're like vamp-nip." Vinyl said with a smile.

"It's fine. I just hope this doesn't become some kind of running gag." I reply. "Oh one more thing. Take this. I got it from one of the books in my new library. It's the spell that lets vampires turn into bats and fly." I say as I paw her a piece of paper. She gasped at seeing the copy. "I know how much you've been trying to figure out how to do that since you were turned." Vinyl kissed me before I could say anything else. "Ug! Mouthwash! It's not expensive!" I shout. "Now off with you."

"Yes sir ma'am sir!" Vinyl shouted with a salute and teleported away taking the new machine with her. I just sigh and carefully I lift myself off of the donut I've been sitting on while I work and hit my poor tooshie with yet another heal spell. Having done that I portal my way to the first room I made after the new dungeon heart was activated and what I was going to make when expanding the room that broke into the Goodly Hero's meeting room. I'm calling it the life clock. Something I was tinkering with after getting that book on druid magic but until I lost one of my imp spells I never found a use for.

I looked down through the see thru floor as a giant enchanted clock hand moved over the dead earth channeling druid magic to grow flowers. I was using magic directly from a mana vault so the flowers weren't warped by dark magic. Then another hand moved over them sucking out the life force which traveled up it and into a pillar made of diamond. Then the last hand moved over the dead plants rotting them and fusing the rotted remains with the soil to help new flowers grow when the first hand went by once more. I move over to the pillar and summoned some gems while I pulled life force from the pillar and channeled the create imp spell again and again.

"There. Now I finally have enough laborers to relax some. You thirty over there will just go to the new gem seams and mine gems until I tell you to stop. The rest get to work on the dungeon." I order and watch as they scurry off.

I then make a portal into the room of pain as I’m calling it. It’s a large round room with a huge glass tank in the middle that I’ve been filling with liquid pain. It also had shelves all around it filled with bottles to fill with the stuff. I then create a portal to the shadow realm and pull out a large jug.

“Damn. Where is she getting all of this. Is she visiting hospitals?” I say as I remove the lid on the tank and dump the stuff in. I then place the jar down and reach for another one when I felt my paw enter something small and wet. Blinking a few times I stick my head into the portal and see Bronze with my paw jammed up his nose.

“Ew...Grauntie, please take your paw out of my nose seam.” I blinked, realizing my flesh had literally melded into his face on accident, making me yank my paw out as he scrunched his snout. “That is always weird. Nice new face Grauntie, very pretty. Even if it’s like Decadecimal from Unzip.” Bronze said as I looked my paw over to make sure it was alright.

“Ya, I’m a goddess of several things now. And sorry about that. You appear to be sane. Taking a breather?” I ask as I slipped into the shadows completely.

“No, I’m in exile, where monsters belong.” Bronze morosely mumbled as he turned away from me, pantomiming laying on his side.

“Oh dear. One moment I want to try something.” I say as I grab the last jar of pain and leave with it. I look down at the jar and smile at what I see and dumped the contents into the tank and seal it shut. I then reach into the darkness once more and pull my great nephew into my world.

“Wha-hey what’re you doing?! I’m a monster! Leave me in my prison so I don’t hurt anypony!” Bronze pleaded.

“Try and bend space.” I say with a smile. He blinked at me and lifted a hoof but nothing happened. Looking down at himself he saw he had some kind of black aura around him. “I’m still figuring out my goddess powers so I experimented with that jar first. You’re coated in an aura of spaceless darkness. Pulled from the shadow realm. A skill that would be completely useless in any other situation.”

“Hm...so….” Bronze then easily yanked his head in half, but I could see his innards just fine before he pushed himself back together. “So I’m limited to just myself? Oh good. I don’t wanna suddenly flip out and try to turn a pony into a mutant on a whim again.”

“Alright come with me and tell your grauntie all about it.” I say as I lead him out of the room of pain.

“Well it all started with Pinkie Pie revealing she has a split personality, and me requisitioning a schooner airship on a whim…”


A short while later.


“Well… Butterfly pony?” I ask before sipping my tea. Or at least trying to. I quickly found out that my new body required an absurd amount of food and whenever I tried to eat anything I literally suck it in like a black hole. When I try to sip the tea as lightly as I can while keeping the opening in my mouth as small as I can without closing it I still managed to inhale the tea and suck the cup out of my paw and having it jammed onto my muzzle after flying into it. I grumble a little as I take the cup off.

“I’m not sure. Mom said Fluttershy ‘adopted’ him or something, but I’ve been sulking in the Shadow Realm for...I don’t know how long. Feels like days.” Bronze said as he levitated his own tea with normal magic for a shuddering sip, before he straight up knocked the whole cup back. “All mom’s told me is...when I was in the madness...I said ‘He’s mine foal’...I’m so scared….” Bronze shuddered as he tried, and failed, to not crush the tea cup in his magic on the tray.

“He’s mine? Come here.” I say as I pull bronze over and hug his head to my chest while feeling around. “Hmmm… A connection. Unfortunately I have no power to break it but when it comes to mind controllers I do have one trick.” I say as I summon a golf club and start channeling a curse through it. “Now I want you to trust me and not move or do anything to block the pain you might think is coming.” I say as I walked around him.

“I deserve far worse than just pain.” Bronze dejectedly stated, closing his eyes and stoically bracing himself to not move. Once I was behind him I readied the golf club and with everything my magic could muster I swung it up right between the legs.


Meanwhile in Bronze’s world.


Celestia was sitting on the balcony sipping tea as she tried to clear her head of the worry for her nephew when she could have sworn she heard a high pitch scream as she saw Discord’s statue fly into the air and crash head first elsewhere in the maze as if struck with a powerful blow. She then heard the telltale sound of crying. “...Well now. I haven’t seen that curse in ages. Thank you whoever that was.” Celestia smirked and suddenly felt much better.


Back in my dungeon.


“You can open your eyes now.” I say as I sit back in my seat. “What is it with mind controllers and thinking they’re untouchable. Like I said before all magic is like rock, paper, scissors and curses are the bane of mind control users. After all curses rely heavily on using connections to their victims to harm them from a distance and for some reason mind controllers never think the link they need to control their victims could be used against them.”

“Hm, I didn’t feel anything.” Bronze noted, but I felt myself grin as he blinked when I noticed his spiral eyes weren’t even dimly glowing anymore, at least for now. “You sure you hit me hard enough?”

“I hit you plenty hard dear. But I cursed the weapon for that one shot so you don’t take it but the one trying to control you does.” I answer. “I bet it was quite a surprise for him.”

“Oh. Well, I would’ve thrown Discord into the sun or something, but mom and aunt Tia insist our world needs him for some reason.” Bronze rolled his eyes. “Please, with as much Chaos my very presence causes that hack should be taken to the chopping block before he gets loose again.” Bronze gingerly shuffled his pelvis, still bewildered about not feeling my strike. “Tartarus, I mean, when I get my plans in motion, Order is going to have to pick up some slack to counter my Chaos.”

I watched as Bronze popped his head off, and levitated it to look at his undercarriage. “Okay...family jewels are not harmed. Stupid phantom sensations.” Bronze grumbled as he levitated his neck back to the...rest of his neck, and popped himself back together. “Thanks for this Grauntie. Having someone to talk to with so much extra-worldly experience is helpful.”

“I’m glad to help.” I say as my fox butler refills our cups, or in the case of Bronze’s cup, give him a new one.

“Shame they’re not really alive...hey, could I bring that bug pony here to see if he's got a soul? I need to know just how bad things are involving the poor colt.” Bronze asked in concern.

“Well… I guess your puppet master won’t be in any shape to pull any strings for a little while. Alright. Also I have a giant room dug out for that pyramid you gave me and have been trying to figure out how to move it here. Could you please do that for me?” I ask as I will the darkness around his hooves to move back so that he could use them for his magic. “Also can I see your Pinkie as well?”

“Hm? I felt you moved base. I won’t ask why. Want anything else from the old place?” Bronze asked and I shook my head, getting him to shrug, and he clopped his hooves together, and a Doorway opened that dropped a smaller, bug-like version of my great nephew on the floor next to us before the door slammed shut and vanished. “Done, and I brought my innocent little doppelganger here at the same time.”

“But where’s Pinkie?” I asked curiously.

“I’m right here.” I jumped a bit at the calm and straight-haired pink mare who was suddenly next to my seat, wearing a mirror on a rope around her neck that had Pinkie Pie waving out of it excitedly. “Hiya pretty foxy lady!”

“Pinkie says hello.” Pinkamena added pointlessly with a small, soft smile.

“Interesting.” I say as I pull both Pinkamina and the bug pony in for a gentle hug and felt around. “Well the bug pony has thousands of weak souls one would expect from an army of bugs. And Pinkie...has two. Hmmmm.” I say as I let them go. “There is nothing I can do for the butterfly souls, I’m sorry. However, Pinkie...s If you are willing to part with a small sample of flesh from your original body I know some magic that can grow a soulless shell just like it. And transfer one soul into the new body.” I offer. “It will take a few months to grow and the body will require some physical therapy having never used its muscles before but you would both have a body.”

“Grauntie, you’re making this too complicated. Here.” Bronze clopped his still free hooves and suddenly, there was a second Pinkie Pie standing next to Pinkamena, that promptly slumped bonelessly to the floor like the lifeless thing it was, or rather it seemed to be. The body was. Very interestingly, alive, but completely devoid of a soul or sapience. “There. Cloned body using samples of Pinkamena and all the physical elements the pony body is made of. Don’t make me get all Fullmetal Alchemist on you grauntie.”

“No need to get fussy I was only trying to help.” I say as I reach to the empty space where Pinkie was in the mirror and grab on to her and pull. There was a grunt from Pinkamina and I just pushed the soul into the fresh body and bound it to its new home. I then re-covered my great nephews hooves. Just to be safe.

“Wowie zowie! That really tickled!” Pinkie Pie shouted as she jumped to her new hooves. “Oh body, sweet body~! I’ll never take you for granted again.”

“If you’re serious about that, cut back on the sugar sis.” Pinkamena softly scolded, getting Pinkie to hiss like a cat at the thought. “Thank you very much for your help ma’am. I knew Bronze would get us out of our predicament one way or another, he’s reliable like that.”

“Yeppers! Big, hot-to-trot, and the nicest pony you could ever know.” Pinkie gushed as she was suddenly next to my now-flustered nephew, leaning against him. “I don’t even mind that you hate parties. Because you’re still my Bronzie.”

“Pinks….” Bronze mumbled weakly with his ears bent back. “I don’t deserve somepony like you. I don’t deserve anypony. Not after what I did to Fluttershy and, um...did she name this poor colt?” Bronze asked about the bug pony, who was currently sniffing around the room and trying to eat various things like a toddler. Which made me wince, the pony had surprisingly sharp teeth and was marking everything he nibbled on.

“Fluttershy named him Butters.” Pinkamena informed as she moved to the overtly curious and simple stallion, gently nudging him away from my couch and nuzzling him, the stallion’s beautiful and vibrant butterfly wings fluttering at the attention as he nuzzled her back. “He’s like a foal. So simple and curious to the world. But he’s also really smart, he picks things up quick and last I saw he could even mouth words.”

“Well then, if he’s capable of learning, and has so many souls even if they’re weak, doesn’t that make him as alive and sapient as possible?” Bronze asked me hopefully. “He’s essentially my son Grauntie, he looks like me because I obviously used myself as the template. I’d rather my firstborn not be a pet.” I cringe at that.

“Oh Bronze. You are your soul. Even if the body works fine when someone gets multiple souls for one reason or another they get split personalities like these two.” I say gesturing to the the sisters pink. “But with so many weak souls fighting for control the best you can get is...well this.” I say as I pick up the fox butler. “You would need to find a way to fuse the souls as you’ve fused the bodies.”

“Oh….” Bronze uttered with a wet rasp as tears prickled his eyes.

“Oh don’t do that. I wish I could help but what I can do with souls comes with my experience with ghosts. I don’t know of anyone who's ever even tried something like that.” I say as his big watery eyes grew bigger. “Please stop…” His lips started to quiver. “I...guess I could try. One of my aspects is undeath. But the body would need to be dead for that to count. Can you revive it after?” I ask.

“I-if the souls won’t vanish too quickly, I can basically stop all bodily processes, and start them back up as if nothing was wrong. I’ve only done it with tiny things, but usually the ants and whatnot wouldn’t move again, even if the bodies were still working.” Bronze admitted worriedly. I just sigh at this and summon some gems and use them to create parts as I began assembling the device I’m going to try and use for this. I also summon the soul cage to catch the souls before they could move on. I can’t believe I’m doing this.

“Alright. I’m ready to try this. Bring him here and stop his heart.” I say as I finish the device and summon a jar. I have a feeling the liquid pain spell will be needed for this…. After thinking about it for a moment I send the jar back and bring in one of those big ones that Night-Luna sent me.

“Okay...I trust you Grauntie. C’mere Butters. C-come to daddy….” Bronze hitched a bit when Butters gleefully responded and trotted to his creator to nuzzle him. “N-now just...lay down.” Bronze helped the oblivious pony lay down, resting his head on his lap, and took a shuddering breath before nodding to me. “Release my hooves.”

I once more will the darkness back and the body stopped moving as if he had fallen asleep as thousands of tiny lights left the body and were sucked into the soulcage. Once it stopped I fed them into the small machine and started channeling the liquid pan spell when the pistons started pounding and compressing the ghosts while I focused with all of my might to merge them as one. The jar was filling fast showing how horrible what I’m doing would be for them without liquid pain. At my will my fox runs off to get more containers.

While this was going on, Bronze sniffled and hugged his currently dead creation to his chest, running a hoof down the dead colt’s back as the wings gradually changed shape from butterfly wings to similarly prismatic pegasus wings. “It’ll be okay Butters. Y-you’ll be fine.” Come on...don’t make me hurt him. I think as I push all of my will into this before opening the… What is this thing? A soul drive? I saw something about this in that book of warjacks but there was nothing in it about how to make it. So how did I do it? Pushing that out of my head I pull out one shifting, glowing mass of ectoplasm.

“It...worked?” I asked as I saw it. I honestly didn’t hold much hope for this. Carefully I push the soul into the dead body and hold it there. “Bring him back while I’m holding the soul inside.” I order.

“Okay.” Bronze said, before Butters jolted, gasping for breath, and tears came from his changeling-like eyes. “Butters? Can you hear me?” In response, all the colt did was flop a few limbs around, his eyes filled with confusion and brows scrunched with consideration, making pathetic whimpers.

“His soul is like an infant's. He’ll still need to be taught from scratch.” I say as butters looked around with the curiosity of a child, which was still better than the animal-like behavior he sported before.

“So more of a lateral progression, no loss there. Hey buddy~? Do you remember anything?” Bronze asked with a childish tone, and the colt snorted with amusement before booping Bronze on the nose playfully, of course, Bronze just smiled instead of scrunching like most ponies do. I smile down at butters and summon one of the dollified wolves from toy town.

“Hey there buddy. I’m your great great aunty. I have a present for you.” I say as I squeeze the wolf turned toy a few times making it give off silly squeaks before placing it in front of the butterfly pony. The toy wolf and the bug pony sniffed each other curiously before the toy wolf gave a tiny yip and hopped up on Butters nose and started licking him between the eyes.

Butters, in response, bolted to his hooves and started prancing around with an utterly adorable and starstruck expression shimmering in his glowing blue eyes. The toy wolf on his muzzle bouncing and giving off a squeak with each bounce as he did so. ‘Flash’ That is going in the baby book.

“Aw, that’s so precious. Alright Butters, time to go home, don’t give Fluttershy too much trouble.” Bronze smiled at his sort-of clone/son who waved at his creator cheerfully before a Doorway opened under him, Pinkamena and Pinkie, dropping them back home. “Thanks so much Grauntie. This means so much to me!” Bronze gushed as he rushed to me and hugged me, nuzzling my neck.

“Ak! Stop, please! I’m a goddess now why am I still so squishy!?”

“What?! You’re STILL so scrawny after ascending?!” Bronze demanded, and to my horror, I realized his hooves were still free, and we were once again in a gym. That was clearly a new room spontaneously added onto my dungeon. “Grauntie, this isn’t healthy! If you’re going to be in the line of fire, you can’t keep relying on your magic! I mean, that’s the main reason I buffed out. Besides mares really liking muscles.” Bronze proudly flexed his many muscles. “Well except AJ, for some reason she likes a little flab, but that’s besides the point. You don’t need to get buff, just toughen up. Exercise a few hours a week even. You’re a flippin goddess! You would be a laughingstock if some lucky twit with a branch knocks you out.”

“I don’t want to. Every time I’ve tried it always hurts.” I say with fear.

“Grauntie. I’ll be upfront with you. You will feel pain. Unless you...cheat.” Bronze grinned conspiratorially, clopping his hooves and a huge bottle with a powder blue potion in it fell from a tiny door into his hooves. “This. Is Alicorn Accelerator. Just drinking one of these a day, and eating a ton of food. I got jacked. Zecora developed it using hydra gland secretion, so it’s deadly to anything without a healing factor. Unless you take sips for a while, and you’ll even gain a healing factor.” I quickly re-cover his hooves with darkness as he bit open his foreleg to my shock, and he held it out cheekily as I watched it rapidly scab and then flake away, as if he hadn’t just bit a piece of himself off.

“One moment I need to do something real quick.” I say as I summon the 9-iron and channeled another curse through it. “I think he’s trying to take control again.” Bronze blinked in confusion, apparently he couldn’t feel his eyes spinning or shining. “You’re acting kind of crazy even if you don’t realize it yet and your eyes are doing the glowy, spinny thing again.” I warn. “Now assume the position.”

“Again? Wow that jackass is persistent.” A bray got our attention. “No offense.” Bronze said to the donkey that was suddenly at the door.

“None taken...now how do I get out of here? Blasted Donkey Senses….”

“Here have a portal.” I say creating the dark hole in the ground before walking behind Bronze as he spread his legs. I even channeled the thunder bolt spell through the metal for added effect. As the metal began to glow red from the burning heat I readied my swing. “Fore!”


In another Equestria.


Luna was just sitting in her throne next to Celestia’s to start her night when she suddenly heard high pitched screaming before a familiar statue came crashing through the window. The echoed sound of crying radiating from it. “Well now. Discord, we know thou hast much disdain from others, but whoever is using that curse might as well kill thou.”

“Please~! Have mercy-he-hee~!”

“Release our son and we might consider it.” Luna imperiously declared before shoving the statue aside to begin court proper, let him suffer hearing court proceedings.


Back in my dungeon.


I look down at my stainless steel golf club that I created with my powers. Now bent in half from the force of the blow. I just shrug it off and send it to one of the dumpsters. “There. I think he’ll be a little more cautious about trying to take you over for a little while now. I hate to do that to anyone but that guy is going too far and needs to learn there are consequences to his actions.” I say.

“I still say kill him. But no~. ‘He’s a balancing force for our universe’ they keep telling me. Pfft, if that was the case why am I a god aligned with Chaos?! Now then, back to business. Grauntie. Do you have an innate healing factor? Oh, and uh, mom told me to ask, how legitimate am I to your world’s pantheon? I don’t want to cause any trouble for you by being here.” Bronze asked out of the blue.

“I don’t know. I’ve always just used my healing spell for that. And in order for you to count for my worlds pantheon you need to be accepted during one of the meetings of the gods. They have a system here. I’ve been told that I will be accepted in the next meeting but you aren't a god of this world so I don’t think it’s going to happen.” I reply.

“I’ll take that as a no on the healing factor, and hope I don’t cause a sort of territory dispute then. So, Grauntie. Just take tiny sips of this potion a day, and once you start displaying a healing factor, chug a whole bottle a day, and eat a feast each day. You’ll blow up like a balloon at first, but then you’ll metabolize it all into muscle. Oh, and your libido will skyrocket while taking the potion. I didn’t have much trouble since my mares wouldn’t leave me alone while I was on it. But an alternate Twilight and my cousin Cadence apparently became insatiable.” Bronze informed me, getting me to groan.

“I can’t sip it! Remember during tea time. That’s how I eat and drink now. I suck it all in like a black hole.” I sigh.

“Then just ration out a teaspoon or whatever. I’m more than sure you can make more beings you’re likely a master alchemist right?” Bronze asked me. I just sigh and summon a bowl and take the bottle. I pour a small amount into it and make sure the bottle is behind me before inhaling taking the substance in and smashing the bowl against my face.

“I’m going to be terrified of any knives at the dinner table till I learn how to control this.” I grumble. I sit and wait...and wait...and wait. “You know I expected something to happen by now even if not the end results.”

“Oh trust me.” I felt...nothing? “It’ll kick in.” Bronze grinned as he backed away. “Hope no mares catch your fancy for a few hours.”

“...Nothing is happening.” I say flatly.

“Seriously Grauntie, you’ll notice things if you just go about your day. I didn’t even know what was going on until I murdered a whole parasprite swarm on accident and realized I’d been orally pleasing my mares regularly when before I’d been completely chaste.” Bronze told me with a shudder. “Realizing I was being drugged kinda upset me, but I went with it because my mares were doing it to help me...even if they were taking advantage of my increased...urges.” I focus hard on my body to try and sense anything.

“When something affects my body I know. The same way I knew you put a piece of brain in me. I feel nothing.” I say with a shrug.

“So you’re immune to hydra secretion? Damn Grauntie, you’re dead-set on being a scrawny squishy wizard aren’t you? Unless you’d be willing to have me just outright put muscle on you however you want, or you actually muscle through the pain of exercise, I don’t see you getting less fragile.” Bronze shook his head with a sigh at my apparent squishiness.

“Hold on a sec.” I say as I summon a gem and enough life force to create a fox that will last an hour. I strip it of its things and toss it into the air and open wide. I suck it and a few dumbbells in before closing my eyes and trying to see through my minions eyes.

“...I...I don’t have a stomach.” I say in bewilderment. “There is a void where it should be. The last thing I saw before the fox died was the dumbbells being dissolved into pure energy.” Damn pinball machine must have passed into the intestines before I got that little feature.

“...So you literally cannot even ingest medicine. That’s...bad. Very bad.” Bronze said with concern. “If there’s no magical or intravenous method to apply aid to something, you’re boned unless it’s a suppository Grauntie...or…?” Bronze trailed off with a disgusted expression.

“No worries. I can cure myself with my magic without swallowing anything.” I reassure.

“Still, you could take the potion intravenously, but it’ll have to be in extremely small doses even when your body does get it’s own healing factor. Like only an ounce at first, then a few ounces later, it’s much more potent going through the veins than through the stomach.” Bronze said with seriousness and caution. “You don’t want to see the lab rats Zecora showed me to instill caution about this stuff.”

Bronze then yawned as his eyes again started spinning. “Ugh...I’m getting tired. Is there anything else you’d like help with Grauntie?” Bronze asked politely.

“No that’s okay. In fact you can keep this stuff. I have professional black knights I can have give me some training. The side effects don’t seem worth it to me.” I say as I give the bottle back.

“Well alright, just don’t overdo it. Remember, the burn is good, the pain is bad. If you feel pain, you’re doing it wrong.” Bronze insisted as he popped the cork and chugged the whole thing. “Ah~...I’ve heard Cadence and that other Twilight liken it’s flavor to snozberries, but I don’t think they know that means it tastes like penis.” Bronze snorted in amusement. “Which is funny, considering cuz loves to suck Shining’s-gack!” I shove a ball into his mouth before he could finish that sentence.

“No. Just no.” I say flatly.

“Oh right, straight-up lesbian. Forgot for a moment Grauntie. I forget not everyone is open to things. I mean, apparently I eat soydogs in a way Spike says is gay.” He said after absorbing the ball into his flesh. “I mean, I’m genetically predisposed to deep-throating. Thestrals in my world are really weird.”

“Are you okay!? You just absorbed a rubber ball!” I ask in worry. “Spit it out!” I shout while trying to give him the heimlich maneuver with my magic.

“Agh! Gah! Graunti-ick! It’s good! See?!” Bronze insisted when his fur seemed to melt, and then became a shiny layer of rubber that really outlined every single ripple of muscle, making me blink in bemusement. “I can absorb things and use them to alter myself.”

“Don’t scare me like that!” I shout as I set him down. “Anyways if you’re feeling better would you like me to send you home now? I still have work to do fixing up my new dungeon how I want it.”

A new species of creature has entered your dungeon!

“And apparently new minions to evaluate.” I added.

A new species of creature has entered your dungeon!

“Wait, are you hiring?” Bronze asked curiously. “I’m literally completely free for anything. All I’m doing back home is my own personal projects, so if you ever need me I’ll be there.” I blink a few times at this.

“I guess. And if you get too out of control I can use the hand of evil to bitch slap you with that curse. It won’t be as extreme as the golf club but it might help. Normally I need to give you something you want for this to work but I’ve already made one of your mares into two and fixed your son’s soul problem so a simple acceptance will do. You’re hired.” I say and a link was created. “Aside from the pyramid everything’s been moved here by my other minions so I don’t need you for anything else at the moment.”

“I am Anubis, God of Death! I shall deliver you bodies forevermore my mistress~!” Bronze hammed as his rubbery body bounced and jiggled when he bonelessly saluted. I snort at this.

“Alright. So long as it’s legal. Thank you for any body you send me.” I say with a smile as I pat him on the head gently so that my paw doesn't sink in. “Now I’m sure your mother misses you so I’ll send you back. I don’t know if I can keep you bound by the darkness from such a distance though.” I admit. “And because your eyes are swirling again I know just how to send you home. Turn around and raise that hinnie.” I say as I grow into a giant and create a giant golf club with spikes. I channel some more of the thunderbolt spell through it making arcs of electricity shoot through the spikes.

“Ready and waiting!” Bronze cheered as he spread his legs, raised his plot into the air and moved his tail aside. “Fire away!” I tried not to think of how perverted this was, before grinning viciously, and going for the mother of all swings.


Meanwhile in the world of Bronze.


Princess Cadence was having a wonderful day. Sure, her cousin went crazy a few days ago, but knowing her adopted family he was probably better already and just waiting for the public backlash to die down. She'd had tea with her Aunt Celestia, who was much happier for some reason, and then had dinner with her Aunt Luna, who was similarly in much better spirits. Considering how hard her cousin's affliction hurt them, she was wondering what could possibly have-

"AIEEEEEEE~! Came a despairingly high-pitched squeal of filly-colt levels of crotch-crushing pain that made even Cadence cross her hind legs instinctively, what having paid witness to many an unfortunately laid-low groin of a jilted lover of a love lost and soured. But she jumped when the ceiling of the hall of the castle she'd been walking through to get to her bedroom was shattered by the queer statue from the garden, that promptly began weeping in penance for some unknown action.

The regally tall mare of height on par with her aunts thanks to Alicorn Accelerator merely blinked in confusion, before clicking her tongue with a rueful shake of her head upon her Aspect letting her glean some hidden clue. "Take it from the Goddess of Love you poor fool. Hurting her more won't bring her any closer." Cadence pitifully informed the crying statue, before continuing onward. She had some snu-snu scheduled and she wasn't about to skip out on her Shiny for work again.


Back in my dungeon.


“Weeeeeeeeee!” Bronze shouted as he flew through the portal I created in the floor on the other side of the large room.

“A hole in one.” I say with a satisfied nod.

“Mistress!” A fox came running in. “There are several pyramids filling the lower levels!”

“...Goddammit Bronze…” I say with a sigh. “Looks like we’re going to need to build more large caverns for the underground towns for my minions.”

Where a God Can be a Kid.

View Online

Fire. Broiling heat and the smell of brimstone washed over the streets of Alexandria. A city named by Rin. Built by her followers around the black castle she created. The inhabitants of the growing city quickly moved away from the flaming portal as a tall man in black armor which glowed with enchantments stalked forth from the burning hole in space flanked by a man in black wizard's robes. Though it could be believed that this man is or at least was human. His form was twisted in unnatural ways such as eyes that looked like black marbles with a green spiraling core and shark teeth in his mouth. On the armored man's other side was a man that was dressed in such ordinary looking cloths that he looked out of place with the others save for a hood that covered his face in shadows. Shortly after they made their way from the portal soldiers in black berating a coat of arms showing the head of a wild boar with burning red eyes and blood soaked tusks started marching through.

"Give them no quarter! Claim this city and all of its riches!" The armored man shouted as he raised his sword to the sky. His army cheered and got ready to charge but the dark mage scowled at the reactions he was seeing. The people that looked like they could fight were backing away while covering their ears which confused him some as his lord and troops weren't that loud despite their efforts. And looking around, the fear, even amongst the ones that were running away wasn't as high as he was accustomed to seeing. He turned his head to speak to his dark lord but as soon as he opened his mouth to speak. 'Ka-BOOM!'. The wizard and the hooded man were knocked back and blinded and dazed by the bright light and defining crack of lightning that had just struck between them. The small part of the army behind them suffering from the same thing. Save for the ones that have yet to come through the portal and were now trying to force their way past their dazed comrades to get to the battle.

As their visions cleared they saw their leader laying down in a burnt crater with his armor glowing red from the heat. Slowly however the armored man shakily lifted himself off the ground. The powerful enchantments though unable to completely protect him from the massive surge of electricity were ably to keep him alive. And even now were glowing brighter than the armor to protect him from the heat. Looking up they all saw a twister descend from the sky before dissipating, leaving the giant Gate Guardian that had used it to descend from its lookout from the top of the black castle. Shortly after, much to the dark mage's horror, a beholder of all things appeared out of thin air and dropped for a moment before it caught itself and turned its eyes to them. The mage cursed as he felt the affects of the beholder's anti-magic wash over him. Preventing him from casting any spells unless he could hide from the floating head's gaze.

The hooded man was able to recover first and pulled a jar from his bags and tossed it like a grenade. When it broke against the ground a thick cloud of poison gas erupted from the broken container but instead of washing over their opponents like he expected the giant with the number thirteen on its chest used its power over the wind to suck the gas up into a vortex of wind which quickly advanced on the small group. The hooded man was quick enough to get out of the way but the dark warlord could only sink his blade into the ground to anchor himself and hold his breath while the dark mage was unable to do anything while the beholder could see him and was picked up by the wind and slammed against the wall of a nearby building breaking several bones. The small magical twister them managed to fly through the fire portal which ignited the gas creating an explosion which took out most of the army that had managed to get through the portal which was acting as a natural choke point. There were several other portals opening up all over the city but none close enough to get any reinforcements and from the sounds of it they were already being wiped out before enough could get out from each portal before they could get into sufficient numbers to fight back. A purple dragon could be seen off in the distance having a field day with the invaders. It didn't help that all of the power players came through this one portal.

Before the poison master managed to get up from his leap to safety from the poison twister he was struck by a beam of blue light from one of the beholder's eyestalks. He froze for a moment as he tried to figure out what the eye monster did to him until he felt a numbing sensation all over his body and looked down to see his quickly stiffening body turn grey as he began to petrify.

As quickly as he could in melted armor the dark warlord took one last glance at his most powerful minions and the troops that were being devastated by the floating head as well as the giant walking towards him before turning to run while shouting for a retreat. However before he could get close to the portal he was blown over by a strong gust of wind and before he could get up the giant picked him up before slamming him into the ground again and again until he was knocked out. Once that was done the Guardian walked over to the portal and let loose the floodgates as water gushed into the portal creating steam from the fire of the gateway and the water mixing. After a short while when it was sure the other side was wet enough it stopped and blasted another bolt of lightning into the gate way. Whatever was sustaining the gate on the other side must have been taken out by that because the portal close instantly after that.

The Guardian looked around after that but the battle was over and the downed minions of the would be invader were already being dragged off to the dungeons that continue to be expanded underground thanks to people like this. Not that number thirteen Gate Guardian would complain. This is what he lived for after all. The only exceptions to the ones being dragged off are the ones that were taken down by the people that joined in on the fight and were claiming their right to loot. But as soon as they were done they will be dragged off as well. When a fox came up to him the Guardian dropped the leader on the ground to be dragged off before making its way back to its post on the palace top where it could see all of the city.


Empty. That is how the dark mage felt. He woke to find his bones mended and his magic gone. The power that he had sold his soul for had been taken from him somehow and he was locked away in some kind of prison cell somewhere under the city. From what he could tell from listening to the guards he was in the part of the prison reserved for those with a death sentence which is decided by looking into the mind and soul of the prisoners to see what evils they've committed compared to the good. A death sentence that won't even be done publicly or pleasantly like a beheading or a hanging. He had seen it in those that came before him. In other cells he could see men who looked out vacantly through the bars. Everything they were before now gone. He cringed as he saw the flesh start to peal off of the bones of the man standing in the cell across from him. There was no screaming. There was no pain. Despite the fact that he knew it wouldn't hurt he couldn't help be filled with dread as he watched his fate. He trembled as the flesh and blood of the man that had once kept his youth by stealing the vitality of others, preferably the young, to leave nothing but clean bones. The door to the cell then opened on its own allowing the man's remains to walk out. Making room for the next prisoner.

The mage's attention was turned to a dark chuckle he heard from the corner of his cell to see a window with the demon he had sold his soul to sitting on a throne as he watched. "...Come to collect?" The dark mage asked fearfully.

"Soon." The demon answered in an amused tone. "I'm not stepping hoof in that place so I'll just wait and enjoy watching you lose your mind. Once she gets your body I'll get your soul. But before that I do have one question for you." The demon said as he leaned forward and gave the dark mage a deadpan. "What did you think was going to happen!?"


A prisoner has died and risen as a skeleton. Hearing that is going to get very old very quickly if this keeps up. That was the sixth evil army that attacked my city. Between the gate guardian, my city guards, the ever growing fodder being created by those irredeemable enough to get locked up in my keeper prison and the army of adventurers and wizards that have decided to make Alexandria their home. They haven't made much of an impact. The only army that thought to bring their army out just outside my city so that the portals don't become choke points was funny enough an army of the undead led by a powerful necromancer. The look on his face when his army of skeletons and zombies turned on him in my presents was priceless.

Seeing as I don't think I'll need to make any skeletons myself for a while I'm now focused on using the dead in my possession to create more powerful undead. I've already got five of my newest model of flesh golems including the first one which only needed a few replacement parts. As well as a good number of bone golems which are thankfully much easier to make. Now I'm trying to recreate undead from video games. I smile at my newest one. In the rain forest on the other side of the badlands where I built my new dungeon there is a kind of giant tree frog a little bigger than a pony. Harmless in life but with some bone compressing I can make them tougher and more human shaped and I added some sharp teeth. They can still stick to surfaces and those tongues can still shoot out like a bullet to catch prey. In other words I've created a licker from Resident Evil minus the virus. I've also been working on ReDeads from the Zelda games by substation cockatrice eyes which can't petrify anymore but can temporarily stun those who make eye contact for a short while.

I glance up at the clock in my work room and see that it was almost time for the meeting with the other gods of this world about my acceptance into the pantheon. I won't be able to see the great meeting hall they have up in the sky because I'm not one of them yet. Normally they welcome new members in meeting held in the home of the potential new god or goddess but Harmony being the stuck up nag that she is refuses to step hoof in my territory unless she is aloud to bring it down so I was asked to pick a place that I don't own. Using my hand I pick up the licker and put it away before going to wash up and make myself presentable for the meeting.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UV3LBF8-xPk

"...Its face doesn't move." Summer said in a freaked out tone.

"Don't fear the cheese. This is a place of fun." I say as I pat her on the back.

"This place is like a war zone. Chaos everywhere. Projectiles being fired at targets. Even a little obstacle course. Is this where this species trains its future soldiers?" Krass, the griffin god of war asked as he looked around approvingly.

"It's an abomination is what it is." An alicorn a little shorter than a normal pony said. She had an ethereal rainbow mane and tail and a white coat. For a cutie mark she had the Tree of Harmony. "I swear she picked this place just to get to me! The first child was sweet and gave me one of his stickers." She said as she gestured to a price tag for twenty five cents on her neck. "But all of the rest keep trying to climb on top of me and the places they keep trying to stick their coins!" At saying that Harmony's eyes shifted around as if expecting to be assaulted with a quarter any moment now. The best part about being able to create any game I want from thin air. I can bribe children to help in pranks for free! Enjoy your new PSP Timmy. You've earned it.

"Stop being paranoid. You'd probably blame Rin if you spilled some of your drink." A young dragon said. He wore a golden magical head brace which allowed Tatonya to control one of her minions remotely when she needed to go somewhere she can't fit. Which was pretty much everywhere.

"What kind of food do they serve here?" We all jumped at the sudden appearance of an animatronic mouse hunched over like a pony.

"...Death? Is that you?" Harmony asked.

"Yes. The humans here thought that I was a prop and they stuffed me in this thing...I need help getting out." Death said plainly. Harmony just gave me the evil eye for a moment before helping death out of his predicament.

"I'm back. Sorry but the inhabitants keep wanting to take pictures with me." Summer said as she walked over and looked at death. "Did I miss something?"

"Aunty! Thou must try the strange confectionery they call pizza. Tis most delicious!" Luna said as she walked up to us with red pizza sauce around her mouth.

"We haven't ordered the food yet. Where did you get pizza?" I asked her.

"Several small humans took turns gifting us with the pizza by holding it up to our mouths and stroking our mane. Tis a most peculiar custom indeed but we took it in stride." Luna proclaimed proudly. "I hope when we get the pizza we get what they call pepperoni! Those were the best."

"Um...Luna...pepperoni is meat." I say nervously. Everyone else immediately turned their full attention to Luna who was turning a color of blue a few shades lighter than normal.

"Excuse us." Luna said as she rushed off to the bathroom. Brushing past Celestia and Oceanus the god of the sea as she went.

"What's wrong with her?" Oceanus asked as he watched Luna go.

"pepperoni is meat. Luna didn't know." Tatonya said with a huge smile.

"Oh dear." Celestia said as she looked to where her sister had run off too.

"Go on. It's not like you can even vote on this seeing as you're so close to the two." Oceanus said causing Celestia to nod and chase after Luna. Two? "By the way have any of you seen Twilight? We lost track of her." Oh... How did I miss that? The checker sky should have been viable from the castle. Then again I've been burying myself in projects. Maybe I should take a vacation once I've finished dealing with the Goodlies.

"I'm sure that Celestia will find her and send her our way. Let's just start with Rin first." Tatonya said dismissively as her puppet took a seat. The rest of us following shortly.

"Alright. let's get down to business." Oceanus said as a ball bounced off of his head. "Seeing as miss Rin has been the topic of the last ten meetings and I think miss Harmony has exhausted all of her reasons for why she thinks we should sentience Rin to be imprisoned in Tartarus's scrotum for all eternity can we all agree to just get to the vote?"

"Actually." Harmony said as she pulled out a stack of papers as tall as she was.

"All in favor of vetoing Harmony's pointless speech about why the darkness is evil and shouldn't be aloud to run free say I." Oceanus said in a bored tone.

"I" All but Death and Harmony said at once. Harmony spluttered at this before glaring at the others.

"But you can't honestly think that any good being would do the things she does!?" Harmony shouted. "Even if you did you can't deny that she is a danger! Have you seen the things that have attacked Equestria because of her!?"

"Tirek." Tatonya said flatly. "He came because of you. Even brought along that black rainbow of his just because you were in Equestria. And that weapon alone was worse than everything Rin has attracted collectively." Harmony opened and closed her mouth a few times unable to think of a counter to that before righting herself.

"Fine. But I do have one more thing before we do this. Summer has given Rin aspects without a vote." Harmony said. Wait what?

"And she has already payed for it." Oceanus said in exasperation.

"I'm just saying that considering this fact I don't think she should be aloud to vote on this just like Celestia and Luna." Harmony replied with a smug smile. Wait. Is she planning to pick off my support before the vote?! "All in favor?" I grew worried as Harmony, Death, Krass and Oceanus voted for this even if the last two didn't look like they cared one way or the other. Summer took a moment to glare hatefully at Harmony before huffing and storming away from the table. "And there is the one who hired that thing to start selling her token to her followers. I don't believe they should be aloud to vote either." She added as she turned her gaze to the dragon.

"Fair enough." Death said as he stood up and walked away shocking everyone including me. He never borrowed me from Faust before and we've never hung out. And the few times we've met it was only for a short time and he has only ever shown, at best, cold indifference to me. So I can't see why he would do that.

"Well...shall we get on with the vote now?" Oceanus asked as Harmony looked panicked but remained silent. She most likely was banking on Death's vote on this. "All in favor?" Oceanus and Tatonya voted for me. Krass looked like he was going to stay in the negative but seeing that it was about to be a draw he raised his talon to avoid a stalemate. "Welcome aboard Rin."

"So...That's it?" I asked.

"That's it. Take this book and read it cover to cover before the next meeting." The sea god said as he pushed a book over to me. "Normally there is a lot of debating first but as previously stated we've talked about this before hoof so everyone has already made their minds up about you. Now let's discuss miss Twilight Sparkle."

"But Twilight isn't here. So while we wait let us talk about Bronze. The young godling that has sworn his allegiance to Rin. By our laws no god or goddess may command another." Harmony said. You're asking for it Harmony. I thought and as if she read my mind she gave me a quick glare.

"He's not one of us." Tatonya argued.

"Recognized or not he's still a god and should not be one of Rin's minions. I would like to vote to ban him from this world, powers and all." Harmony countered.

"If Rin wanted to summon a god or god like being to do her bidding she could have done it at any time with her tokens. You should know. You've tried to convince us to take them from her. And she never did such a thing anyways." Tatonya countered before looking to me. "Why don't you anyways? You could stop those terrorist in one blow."

"I don't summon anyone unless I believe I could take them down myself or with my army just in case they're evil or go out of control." I reply. "I have a contingency plan for every displeased I meet. Like Batman."

"Now that I can believe and am reassured to hear. After all it is in the nature of your kind to want complete dominance over others. But this doesn't count for that argument. He is a god and he has already sworn allegiance to Rin." Harmony stated.

"Very well. We can debate this while we wait for miss Twilight if there are no objections." Oceanus said with a sigh.

"Hay wait!" I begin to protest.

"Now now miss Rin you can't vote on this as you are directly involved." Oceanus said with a dismissive wave of his hoof.

"I know but could you at least hear me out on this first? It'll be short I promise." I say in a pleading tone. Oceanus just sighed in that way that said he wanted this to just be over with already but waved his hoof in a 'go on' gesture. "Bronze is not a simple minion but my great nephew as well. Even if only in adoption he is still my family. And lastly I only excepted his asking to serve under me because another god in his world is trying to enslave him. And I want to be able to help him at any given moment when he needs it."

"Very well. Your words shall be taken into consideration. Now please leave us. And if you'd kindly find and direct miss Sparkle to us I'd appreciate it." Oceanus said as he waved me off. I nod at this and wander off as Summer walked back over to the table. Shortly after Death was also about to pass me on his way back to the table. I guess they got some kind of call back to vote but I do stop him to ask one question.

"Why?" He stopped for a moment at my question and looked to me. I had to stop myself from laughing at the face paint and stickers all over his skull and the tickets glued to this upper lip area like a curly mustache.

"You take only what is unwilling to go with me and aid the others in coming to me. But it is what you did for the dead world that convinced me to do it. Even if I didn't get them myself." He said in a breath before continuing on. I gave a hum at this before moving on to find Twilight. Maybe the girls know where she is at the moment. Now where are they now?

"Oh my God!" A woman's muffled voice creamed out from my left letting me see the bathrooms.

"We-e are so-ho sorrrrryy-y-y-y-y-y!" Luna's voice cried from the bathroom. One of the workers walked over to the bathroom and she opened the door before jerking back like she was punched in the face. She looked down and scanned the entire floor. The looked at all of the walls and finally looked up at the ceiling with the expression of someone that has just witnessed a murder. Without a word she slammed the door shut, walked over to the prize counter, handed in her name tag and walked out the door.


Several hours later at the dungeon.


I walk back into my dungeon to find Vinyl waiting for me with Shit Storm. "Did the vampire recruitment go well?" I asked.

"Considering I was straight forward about how they were expected to fight, train hard and follow orders I'd say pretty good. I convinced a good twenty seven to join up. They are attuning themselves with the graveyard coffins they picked out as we speak in their rooms in that mansion you gave us. I'm ready to start training them as soon as they're done but most of them want to bask in your divine fluffiness first." Vinyl said with a huge smile.

"Alright if that will keep up their morale." I say before turning to the pigeon. "Do you have a report for me?" I ask him. He responded by making all kinds of cooing noises. My smile slowly disappearing as he gave his report. (All of the basses we have been watching that you deemed as less important have all been abandoned as are some bases that we hadn't found yet. They aren't even trying to be sneaky anymore. They have all rushed to the more important basses and have dug themselves deeper than a slippery worm at lunch time.)

"Damn it! This must be because of that accidental breach at the old dungeon! I've been building up to strike but now that they know we're coming this has gotten a lot harder! And of coerce I find out about this now after the pantheon decided to limit my use of Bronze's power to corpse delivery and moving heavy things. And forbidden me from using him for any military action! If that had happened just one day later This would have been perfect!" I shout out in anger before sighing tiredly. "And with the capability they've shown when given time to think I can't just wait them out either can I? How many bases?" I ask getting a few coos from him. (The correctional facility, the main weapons factory, the main training facility and a new location we didn't know about before. It has been marked on your war room map.)

"Lovely. The most fortified locations. And no doubt they took all of their weapons and ammo with them so they'll be armed to the teeth. And my army isn't ready yet. Guess I'll need to resort to mercenaries." I groan. "Anything else?" Shit Storm just shook his little head. "I see. Thank you for the information." After I said that Shit Storm gave a salute and flew off. "Alright vinyl. Let's go see the new recruits." At my words Vinyl vanished in a puff of smoke and a small white bat appeared in her place. She flew over making sure to show off as much as possible before landing on the top of my head. I find her new form adorable so I allow it and start walking when a thought crossed my mind. "Hey Vinyl you remembered to get rid of that filthy pinball machine right?" She started making this strange sound that oddly sounded like laughing.


Snooty Ear the famed critic among the Canterlot elite had just returned from bringing down another musician that was trying to introduce yet another new kind of music called heavy metal. He smiled in satisfaction at the thought of that kind of music being snuffed out after his description of them being disturbed ponies just wildly striking their instruments while screaming into the mic. As he walked up to his home he noticed that somepony left a pinball machine in front of his door with a red ribbon on top.

"Not exactly conventional but it's nice to receive gifts from my fans." Snooty said aloud as he walked over and gave it a once over. "Is it some kind of modern art? It would look lovely in the sitting room." With that Snooty opened his door and with his mouth grabbed on to the edge of his gift and pulled in inside.

Quick Preparations.

View Online

A horn sounded drawing the attention of everyone in the city as yet another dark army tried to invade. This one had readied outside the city rather than using portals inside that can be used as choke points. Instantly many of the guards in the city both living and dead along with members of the adventurer's guild and any combat ready mage from the school moved to meet the invading forces. The dark army was led by yet another stereotype dark overlord with needlessly decorative armor. His army though large wasn't all that impressive as it consisted mostly of goblins but did have a fair force of humans as well. What drew the most concern was the mountain of an ogre that towered over the rest of the dark army wielding a massive tree as a club that looked comically small in the giant's meaty hand.

"Why are these overlord types always so tall?" One of the adventurers asked.

"Magical enhancements." One of the wizards from the magic school replied. "They always feel the need to compensate for something." At her words several of the defenders laughed. They watched as the dark leader of the newest army rose his sword and got ready for him to sound the charge but instead one of the strange magical phenomenon of this world, which still baffles the minds of all of the mages in the city chose that exact moment to strike. It was the magic of random and involuntary musical numbers.

"I am the very model of a modern evil overlord. I striped my father of his power and ran him through with his own sword. I've crumbled many kingdoms and brought their people under heel, took sadistic pleasure as their wealth and hopes I did steal. I understand the art of widely spreading out the grip of fear. Like a herd of cattle my new slaves I gleefully do steer. When it comes to the darkest powers my spies bring me the latest news. And soon all that stand before me are sure to get their gruesome dues!" The armored man sang out before the goblins dancing behind him joined in.

"And soon all that stand before him are sure to get their gruesome dues!"

"And soon all that stand before him are sure to get their gruesome dues!"

"And soon all that stand before him are sure to get their gruesome dues!"

"I'm very good at torture that can make my victims go insane. With countless techniques and tools that can really bring a lot of pain. I can make a man kill his mother using nothing but a cord, I am the very model of a modern evil overlord!" The leader sang out.

"He can make a man kill his mother using nothing but a cord, he is the very model of a modern evil overlord!" The human troops in the invading army sang out. At this time the ogre tossed his weapon back and started dancing a ballet despite the fact that it was clashing with the music that was ranging out around it. This brought great horror to the defenders. Not because they feared it would fall on them as it was too far away. If anything it would only just crush the smaller invaders near it. No what terrified the defenders is the fact that the only piece of clothing that it had, a giant pair of underwear made from the stitched together skin of different animals, looked dangerously close to falling off as the giant bruit bent its legs in ways it was never meant to. Rather than risk it every member of the defending forces with ranged spells blasted the ogre all at once killing it instantly. Unfortunately for the invaders in front of the ogre, they weren't able to react in time and were crushed under the blueish grey skin of their heavy hitter. Not giving them a chance to recover from the lock up that often comes with the magic of the music being disrupted the defenders rained arrows and AOE spells on the evil army so by the time the army was able to move panic had already set in causing the army to fall into disorder. All the while the evil overlord just stood their. Completely mortified at the fact that he had just sang and danced in public.


Inside the black castle.


"Almost done... there." I said as I paint the last of the magic runes in blood on Pinkie's dead body. I watched as the blood runes sank into the body granting the corpse more brute strength. Next I took a bottle of hydra's blood and a case of gems and started the spell to give it regenerative properties. Mostly just to keep it from rotting.

"What the buck!?" Celestia shouted after she came in and saw what I was doing.

"Relax it's just a cloned body. I payed Pinkie for a small pit of the flesh in her rump to grow it using a spell in that lich's spell book." I reassure her as I work.

"...Why?" Was all that Celestia could ask as she watched me work on the corpse which I've enlarged to fit the imposing image I have for her.

"Because I wanted to make my own Pyramid Head and Pinkie would be perfect for it." I reply as if it was the most obverse thing in the world. Not having any idea what I was talking about Celestia just sighed and shook her head. "I've been working overtime on getting more weapons and troops for the battle. Or have your latest attempts to talk them down finally succeeded?" I asked.

"Unfortunately not." Celestia replied with a sigh. "I don't suppose you've produced anything I could give my guards as well?"

"Actually yes." I reply as I summon up a box for her. "Used one of the Twilight's working for me and the mirror pool to start making those." I say making her cock an eyebrow. With a frown she opened the box only to see a foal sized Twilight yawn as the light flooded in before grabbing some kind of harness that she put on so that she had a strap like a piece of luggage.

"Hi! Would you like a tutorial on how to use your T.W. Mark-1?" The mini Twilight asked.

"Oh, um, yes?" Celestia replied in an unsure tone.

"When using your new T.W. Mark-1 it is always advised that you do so in real battle situations or controlled practice areas only. The T.W. Mark-1 is a weapon and should be treated as such. Never point the horn of your T.W. Mark-1 at yourself or others unless they are intended targets. When carrying your T.W. Mark-1 remember to always do so by having the looped over one shoulder and the T.W. Mark-1 hanging from your opposite side so as not to drop your weapon. When firing your T.W. Mark-1 hold her up with one arm or leg under her midsection and holding the hind legs with your other, preferably your dominant, hand or leg. To get rapped fire simply squeeze the hind legs gently, or if you pat her side three times she will charge up a single shot. Power shots require a short cool down period."

"Now remember that your T.W. Mark-1 came with a set of books which you can load into her fore hooves here for your T.W. Mark-1 to read. If you attempt to fire your T.W. Mark-1 and it fails to fire and she says 'click click click click' as you squeeze her hind hooves this means that your T.W. Mark-1 has finished reading her book and needs to be reloaded. Your T.W. Mark-1 does not jam. You do not need to clean your T.W. Mark-1 as she can clean herself if provided with warm water, a rag and soap. Remember your T.W. Mark-1 is your friend on the battlefield. Take care of your T.W. Mark-1 and she will take care of you. Would you like me to repeat the tutorial?" The small twilight clone asked.

"No, I think I've got it." Celestia replied before looking over to me. "I can't believe you've actually managed to weaponize adorkableness." She said as she shook her head while massaging her temples.

"I'm a former member of the human race. We can weaponize anything!" I proclaim before taking a bite out of my snack. Celestia actually looked bewildered at the sword I was munching on. Or rather the wave of tainted energy that came out like a solid cloth when I pulled my mouth away from it. Seeing the question in her eyes I answered. "Cursed sword. I find that I can eat curses and they're the only thing I can eat without sucking things in. So now I keep getting cursed items as offerings." I say with a shrug. Celestia gives me that dear in the headlights look before she breaks out of it and decides just to not think about it.

"Well regardless everyone else is ready. Come on." Celestia said as she turned to leave.

"Alright. Guess that means we're done now." I say to Pyramid Pink as I fasten the helmet to her head. Slowly the pink monster stood up as if she were meant to be bipedal and grappled her giant kitchen knife which I made for her from dragon bone metal and started dragging it behind her just like in the games. As an afterthought I use the Inspiration Manifestation to give her an apron to hide her privates since she was walking on her hind legs. With a nod of satisfaction I create a portal to get to the meeting.


I came out into the meeting room and looked at the others present before taking my seat.

"Why is Dr. Wolf here?" I asked.

"Well he is a displaced so we figured that he could help." Cadence said.

"Not really. The only reason the author put him in the story was so Twilight will still learn all her friendship lessons through him even if Rin did something to stop what taught her before." Discord said with a dismissive wave of his paw.

"What?" Dr. Wolf asked with uncertainty.

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with." Discord said dismissively. "What I want to know is why we have to do this anyways. I wouldn't mind if these guys didn't have those annoying magic canceling weapons but didn't old fluffy butt and blubber butt used to be friends?"

"Blame that fool Quick Note. As a scribe it was his job to keep good records for those Goodlies but against my warnings he insisted that the founders friendship with a darkness user was an embarrassment and that because Rin was 'gone for good." Jingles said that last part with air quotes. "No harm could come of editing the records."

"Alright, now that we're ready I'll put up the privacy wards and we can start this meeting." Celestia said as I sat down at the table.

"No worries. I've already put one up." I reply with a wave of my paw.

"And you're sure it will keep eavesdroppers out?" Celestia asked.


Meanwhile in the Dark Magician's tower.


The Dark Magician was getting bored with the displaced he was watching so he shifted to another. When he tried to hone in on Rin however he got something else.

"It's not enough. Lather on more grease." His eyes widened when he saw the image of his own grandparents going at it in bed.

"Really Rin?" Dark Magician said with a deadpan as he was not amused. At that moment Dark Magician Girl walked in but because of how the magic worked, when she looked at the screen she saw her own grandparents instead.

"That bitch." Dark Magician Girl said in an annoyed tone but grinned."Well that fox better prepare for a incoming Shits and Giggles spell." She added evilly.


Back with Rin.


Why do I feel like a perfectly good setup for a prank just failed miserably? I thought sadly.

"Is something wrong aunty?" Celestia asked.

"No it's nothing. Let's just get on with the-" I began to say before one of the markers on the map got hit with a spell and was sent flying. Shining Armor jumped out of his seat and looked around for a threat before he started farting loudly. His eyes widened in surprise as Cadence looked on in shock at her husband.

"Shiny!" Cadence shouted as she covered her nose.

"I-I can't stop it!" Shining Armor shouted.

"It's the Dark Magician's Shits and Giggles spell. They like to spy on other displaced. I guess they didn't like that they are being blocked." I say as another piece on the table went flying. "Looks like they're trying to hit me and are firing blindly."

"This is dangerous! We need to stop this before-" Celestia began to say before Princess Cadence squawked in surprise as she was hit with the spell and launched forward where she collided with the wall. With a look of horror on her face she realized that the force of the wind was keeping her front end pressed against the upper part of the wall as the force of her breaking wind lifted the rest of us and threw us all into the opposite wall where it kept us pinned. As the room filled with a strong scent of cherry blossom I could see Shining Armor looking to his wife with pride.

"So, Shall we discuss strategy for the attack?" I shout out to be heard over the noise. The others looked to me like I had lost my mind. "What?" At that moment before any of them could respond Celestia was hit. Eyes widened in horror she was pushed along the wall under her own power and crashed into the corner. The change in wind knocked Cadence onto her side facing the opposite direction as Celestia on the opposite wall. This resulted in a small but powerful twister in the middle of the room that picked up everyone and flung us around the room in a rose and cherry blossom scented storm. Everyone screamed as they flailed their limbs in a desperate but futile attempt to stop themselves save for Discord who only responded by throwing his arms into the air while shouting 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"


I groan as I walk out of the meeting room. It took five hours for the Shits and Giggles spell to end but we managed to get a plan of attack together and we'll be moving out soon. Walking into one of the many empty rooms rooms in my dungeon I get to work. First I create the throne room in the back giving me a command seat. The rest of the empty space was filled up with the scavenger room. In the first game the scavenger room was used for recruiting. By placing a minion in the room they could convince the same kind of minion in another dungeon to defect to your side. In reality I've found that the eyes are used for scrying like a crystal ball. Only unlike a crystal ball you can also use it to communicate with the ones you're scrying on. Anything the user says into the eye they're using will be projected telepathically into the targets head. This makes them perfect for a simultaneous attack like this. With my command center functional I pick out and call for several ghosts to man each eye so that they have time to learn to use them properly.

"Aunty?" I heard Celestia say and I turn to see my two girls walking in. "Are you ready to cast it?" With a mental command Phantom Rin came in to help me with this and I summoned two onyx gems for this spell. They had insisted that I cast it on them for my extra protection just in case and I saw no reason not to oblige.

"Alright sit in front of us and we can begin." I tell them.


Inside the pocket dimension in the Tree of Harmony.


Harmony was fuming. The pantheon counsel was failing her! Rin has fooled them all and was going to attack heroes... Well okay they've been getting a little extreme what with taking the Crystal Heart and all but that was a result of desperation caused by that fox! What's worse is she's sinking roots into other worlds and even managed to enslave a god of space and the council has decided to allow her to keep him with restrictions over a minor technicality of him being from another world! At that she froze. Her eyes widened in realization.

"I can't touch her without the others coming down on me until she shows her true colors... But so long as it can't be traced back to me than those of other worlds can!" Harmony said as she jumped up and flew over to her scrying pool. "And thanks to that fox's new hobby of collecting Twilights from other worlds I already know who would be perfect. With the attack she's about to launch Rin's dungeon won't be as well defended." As she said those words many images of different Celestia's of the multiverse could be seen in fractured images in the pool. "I'm sure that vile fox will appreciate the irony."

Bonus Chapter. My Pet Dungeon #5

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Elegant Notes took heavy breaths as she looked up at the abomination standing before her. She has been wailing on the thing for a while now and it just won't go down! Taking in a deep breath she gripped the hilt of her sword harder with her teeth and charged forward. Careful to avoid the grotesquely long tongue sticking out of its mouth she leaped up and swung her weapon striking it in the face, making it fall onto its back. Huffing and puffing Elegant Notes just stood there glaring at the thing as if daring it to get back up again.

"And that's a critical hit. With an unholy wail the monster slumps to the ground dead. The villagers saved." I say down to the tiny pony.

"Finally. Now you promised more answers after the boss." Elegant stated.

"Fine, ask away." I reply.

"Right, have you met a banshee before?" She asked.

"Rarity? Yes I've met her. Haven't you been paying attention? Next question."

"Er, that's not... alright then. There are rumors that the great Canterlot muffin calamity was your doing. Did you have anything to do with the flood?" She asked with a raised brow.

"I wanted to test the limits of my muffin button." I say with a shrug.

"Right... Do you think you'll give birth to kids of your own one day?" She continued. I just blink a few times and look down at my lower body.

"I don't really have the hips for it nor the interest in guys. I did get a book on fertility magic which would allow me to reincarnate a soul into my own offspring but why go through that when I can just make them undead? Besides I'm more of a granny figure. I take the pleasure of spoiling them rotten then letting their parents deal with the consequences. With the exception of the kids that have actually lived under my roof. Those I make sure are raised right." I say with a smile.

"What was your first time in heat like?" She asked and I must admit I'm surprised.

"That's a strangely dirty question." I reply.

"The readers want to know." She said with a shrug. I just sigh and begin to talk.


This part of the chapter has been censored by the FCC.


"The raw force of that last move created what is now known as Ghastly Gorge and in fact that's also how it really got its name. All two-hundred and fifty-two of my partners were unable to move on there own power for months. The male population took advantage of this and managed to push for male equal rights." I finished. Looking down I see the tiny pony passed out with a nose bleed. After giving her a nice wake up dunk in a glass of ice water we were back on topic.

"Right, there is no way I can write that in the papers so... How did your first encounter with Discord go?" She asked.

"Well..."


"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"The end is nigh!"

"Won't somepony please think of the children!"

"The red hots are coming the red hots are coming!" I sigh as a put my toys down in my castle siege play set and look out my window just in time to see ponies being chased by giant hot candies wearing red coats.

"Oh dear... a moral dilemma. On the one paw ponies are suffering. On the other... I want to play in it." I say to no one. Boom! My attention is drawn to a noise and my dilemma is forgotten when I see Luna's plot sticking out of the ground in the middle of a small crater. Above that is Celestia attacking Discord who was trying to play a game of whack a pony with my girl using a giant mallet. "My babies!" I cry out in both the royal Canterlot voice but my anger and magic distort it to give it a demonic sound. Jumping out the window I catch myself with a telekinesis spell and clumsily hover over to them. Fortunately my outburst stopped the fighting long enough for me to get there.

"Celestia take Luna and run." I tell her.

"But he-"

"Take your sister and go help your ponies now!" I shout. There was a pause before Celestia grabbed her sister's rear in her magic and pulled her out of the ground like a carrot.

"Aunty will you read me a bedtime story? I like the one about the golems in disguise." Luna said in a daze. "Autorocks! Roll out!" She cried as she was flown away. Assured that my girls were on their way to safety I turn to face Discord as he studies me with some interest. So there I faced him one on one just his power against mine......... I did not think this through at all! Okay Rin, it's okay. Just do what you always do when nobles try to trap you with some loophole in some law. Bullshit your way out. Charging up my magic a create illusionary clones of me holding automatic rifles as well as an illusion weapon for me. All of us forming a ring around Discord and pointing our weapons at him. With a look of disappointment Discord raised his talon to snap his fingers so I had to act quickly.

"Do not attempt to move or we will be shooting ourselves!" I shout out. It worked. Lowering his talon he looked around at how I had my fakes set up. After realizing the joke he rolled onto his back and laughed. "You are charged with making all this fun stuff to play with but ruining it by being a jerk to the ponies and bullying my little ones!"

"Oh? So you enjoy my chaos?" Discord asked me.

"I would enjoy it a lot more if you would stop being a bully about it." I replied.

"Oh please, those ponies wouldn't know fun even if it came in an ice cream flavor and bit them on the butt." Discord said with an eye roll as he summoned an ice cream monster with waffle cone teeth that started to fly after a random pony to prove his point. I reflexively I used the Turncoat spell on the thing. "What did you just-" Discord started to say before his own creation flew up and sank its teeth into Discord's backside. "Gahhhhhhhh!" He cried out in pain.

"See what I mean? It stops being fun when it causes pain." I reprimand as he magics his own creation away.

"You!" Oh %#$! "...I don't want to play with you anymore." He said in a huff before wrapping me up like a mummy with tape. Oh no. "But before I go let me take you for a quick spin." At his words he pulled on the end of the tape hard and with one long tearing sound and a loud scream of pain from me I fall to the ground completely naked. Not one single hair was left on my bare, pale skin and I squeak in embarrassment as I tried to cover up. "But seeing as you like chaos I wouldn't mind hanging out with you later. See ya around fuzzy wuzzy!" He called out as he flew off laughing.

Red faced I look around before I spot a cotton candy cloud and use my magic to pull it down. Tearing off a piece I step into it with my hind legs and pull it up like a pair of underwear. 'Squish' I shudder at the cold, wet, sticky feeling of my impromptu tighty whities before rushing home to see if the girls are there using the castle as a shelter again. Not that it would work with this guy.


"That's it... What? Expected some big epic battle?" I asked in amusement.

"Well... yes?" She admitted.

"Right, now what shall we play next?" I ask as I look around.

"Aren't you tired of playing with me? I should be getting boring by now right?" Elegant Notes asked in concern and I take a thinking pose.

"You know, you're right." I say making her sigh in relief. "Let's get another playmate to make it more fun!" I say as I pick her up and grow her to a safer but small size. Before she could say anything else I create a portal and we move through. Once out Elegant Notes looked around and paled.

"No.... No no no no no no!" She cried out when she saw the children in the daycare that I have built into my castle so my employees can have a free place to drop off the rugrats while they work. Her panic only grew when she realized that even the youngest of the children were bigger than her. "Noooooooooooooo!"

The Lord of the Land Approaches! Part 1 Hunter vs. Hunters.

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"Alright is everyone in position?" I ask the ghosts using the eyeballs in my impromptu command room.

"All troops are in place and the imps are ready."

"The water bombs from the alchemy lab have all been delivered and are ready to go."

"Hear that squirt? That's what mommy made to stop the bad guys!" Blinking I turn to see Berry Punch and more importantly the unicorn next to her holding one of my evil toy minions. I inwardly cringe at this as no one but me knows where they came from and for good reason. Because they used to be children. I've even blocked those nosy Dark magicians from viewing the process. Even if I have to constantly update the security to do it. I block his view, he figures out how I did it and finds a way around it after several hours of prodding and I respond by updating the blocks in an endless cycle. I got all of the corpses from that dead world of Bronze's including the kids and though it's sad that they died, a corpse is a corpse without the soul that once owned it. Unfortunately others won't see it that way. 'Cough cough Celestia cough!' So after reanimating them I dressed them up as toys. Then I dollify them to make them look like simple toys. Thankfully that seems to have worked. I even tore one open to be sure that nothing would show what they were if defeated and all I found was fluff. Thankfully the doll Ruby is holding has had her weapon taken away though so it's fine.

"Berry...Who is this and why is she here?" I ask even though I know who she is.

"Oh hey boss." Berry said and I just noticed that this is the first time I've seen her sober. "This here is my rugrat, Ruby Pinch. It's take your kid to work day at school." Berry said proudly.

"...Take your kid to work day?... Today? During this big operation." I ask disbelievingly while being careful on what I say in front of the kid.

"Ya! I'm going to write a report and read it in front of my class!" Ruby cheered and I prevent myself from cursing. Some of my new minions can only be found in the forest above. Like the tribal cat people as well as the poisonous lizards which I’ve been training as battle mounts. I’ll have to make sure that she doesn’t see anything that would lead anyone here. “Um, miss princess fox lady?”

“Yes?” I asked.

“...Why is there a baby on your head?” Ruby asked in confusion. I look up at the little changeling escape artist who made her way into this place earlier.

“What? Do you mean my hat?” I asked her getting her to look at me funny. “She’s always escaping the daycare. Would you like to play with her? Then later you can take a tour.” I tell her.

“But I’m taking one now! Mommy showed me the potion room and the room with all the chains where the changelings were spanking each other.” Ruby cheered. ...I can only imagine the look on her teacher’s face when she hears that report...

“Yes but your mommy never cleared it with me so it needs to wait for a bit.” I tell her as I create a portal and gently lift her and the little changeling into it. Once the portal was closed I look to Berry Punch. “We’re going to have to discuss this after I’m done here.” I deadpan as I grab my water sword Rusalka and portaled to a massive square pit with some portals at the bottom that was created for just this purpose and I get ready to make some waves.


Elsewhere in the dungeon.


Ruby Pinch huffed as she kicked a toy. “I don’t want to play in here. I want to explore this place more!” She wined.

"OOF!" Ruby's attention was drawn to a changeling that dropped from the sky. The changeling groaned for a moment before pulling herself up and looking at Ruby with a smile but when she looked at the baby her face contorted in the way Rarity's did that one time there was a sleepover at Sweeties when they put a rubber snake on her pillow so that it was right in front of her face when she woke up. "Carmen." She said warily much to Ruby's confusion.

"What's wrong? It's just a baby." Ruby asked.

"Child this is no mere baby. She's Hoofdini in diapers! No mater what precautions we try she always manages to escape! It was for this very trait that Rin named her." The changeling said with a shudder.

"Princess Rin named here? Why?" Ruby asked.

"It is a changeling custom that the queen of the hive names each and every grub when it hatches. That is why most of my kind have numbers for names. This one was named after a master thief that vexed Princess Rin in her childhood." Ruby's eyes widened in aw at hearing this.

"She fought a master thief when she was a filly?" Ruby asked.

"That's what she told us when she named our little escape artist. Her name was Carmen Sandiego. And trust me it fits her w-" The changeling suddenly stopped once she pointed to where the baby was sitting before. "...No." She said as she frantically looked around the room. Darting from one end to the other searching under anything she thought the kid could hide under. "No... no oh no no no no no!" At this pointy the changeling was in near histrionics as her blue eyes darted around. "I-I... I need backup! Wait here." She ordered Ruby before teleporting out. Wow, she must be really good with magic if she can teleport.

Her thoughts were stopped by a clicking sound and she turned her head to see the baby changeling falling from the door, onto her rump before standing up and pushing the door open. “Did... did you just pick the lock?!” Ruby exclaimed as she followed the baby out of the room. Looking around as the door slowly closed behind her she saw the baby starting to climb the wall so she rushed over to grab it… and gave out a squeak as her hooves left the ground. Soon she was hanging from the changeling, who was walking on the ceiling to get past an alarm trap. “How are you doing this!?” Ruby exclaimed causing the baby to look down at her… by twisting her head all the way around. Ruby’s ears fold back and her eyes widened at the sight. “...Please don’t do that.” She whimpered. The baby blinked at her before facing forwards again and continued down the hallway with a tiny grunt of exertion from carrying the older filly.


Outside the Goodly main training facility


Tap, tap, tap, tap went the finger of Bloody Horns on the handle of his war hammer as he waited for the action. His fellow epic Unyielding Blade simply sat there sipping tea.

It's time.

"Finally!" Bloody exclaimed at my command as he stood up and gave his weapon a good practice swing.

"Ready the charges!" Unyielding ordered as she looked to the portal that was set up. After a short moment I swing my sword like crazy and the portal starts gushing water as two foxes quickly dig a path up to the entrance to the Goodly base for it to follow. Once the foxes are out of the way several dragons dig their claws into the doors and rip them off allowing the water to flood in. They waited for a short while before a group of skeletons started pushing small, red barrels into the flowing water and letting them be carried away. The two epics just looked at each other and gave a nod before going their separate ways.


In the underground training facility.


Everyone tensed as music started being projected into their base from outside. Readying their weapons they aimed at the entrance to their chamber ready to attack anyone that comes in. However instead of a monster, dragon or black knight water started flowing into the room.

"Damn them! They're not coming down! Their plan is to flood us out! Quickly, block the tunnel!" A pony knight shouted getting other goodlies to climb down the wall they set up for the first line of defense to help move anything that can block the water. As the head knight rushed forward with sandbags he noticed something odd. The water was parting around him. Looking down at his magic nullifying talisman around his neck he realized what was happening. "The water is conjured! Fire magic nullifying arrows at the entrance!" Following the order every archer on the wall let fly one arrow which covered the entrance. The knight grinned at the sight of the oncoming water vanishing before it could enter the room. "Alright, back into position!" As they moved back to the wall there was a loud explosion and screams of pain. As the knight fought the pain he looked around to see the walls and several goodlies including himself covered in tiny gems sharpened to the point of broken glass and the water was coming back in. Shrapnel? He thought as he saw a red barrel float down into the room. Several pegasi and griffons flew down and collected the injured.

As this was happening some of the archers that weren't hit noticed that the head knight dropped his nullifier talisman as he was being carried away and one of the barrels got within its range. BOOM! More gem shards went flying knocking the rescue team out of the sky and taking down a few more archers.

"They must be kept from exploding by an enchantment! They're made to go off when they get close to a nullifier!" shouted one of the archers.

"Buck! This entire wall was made into a nullifier! Grab the injured and fall back!" Another shouted as another explosion want off taking out a piece of the wall.

In the next room the goodlies were readying the canons when they heard the explosions. They believed that it would be heavy hitters that would be used to break through the first defence and set up weapons to take down whatever they sent in. They were surprised however at how quickly the first room defenders were coming in, some carried and badly wounded.

“Did they start out with a large monster?” One of the canon operators asked.

“No! They’re flooding us with conjured water that’s carrying in water mines with gem frags made to go off when they hit a null field!” The leader of this room blinked at hearing that. He had to admit that was a clever counter for their defense against magic.

“You men, in the back! Throw your talismans in front of the cannons to stop the water and when the mines float in, grab them and secure them to the side walls!” Following the order quickly several ponies and some minotaurs moved up to the entrance as the water was starting to flow in. An earth pony was the first to grab one of the red barrels which activated some runes in the barrel's band conjuring a swarm of wasps which began to sting him and the others on bomb catching duty. Gritting their teeth in pain they power through and secure the barrels. Unable to use nullification weapons to dispel the constructs attacking their comrades as that would just make things much worse other goodlies brought in planks of wood and quickly nailed them over the entrance in bars to block the water mines but let them see when something was coming.

Once the barrels were all secure and everyone waited safely in a null field which dispelled the small, stinging constructs and the injured were being taken to the infirmary deeper inside the alarm was sounded and the army of goodlies could be heard readying for battle. The attention of those in the second room however was drawn to fast movements on the other side of the wood blockade and a sound like woodpeckers as foxes started rapidly taking out the bottom planks allowing the mines to once more flow in. Thinking quickly one of the archers fired a nullification arrow into the barrels setting them off in a chain reaction. This caused many more injuries and a few deaths from the flying gems but it also caved in the tunnel blocking off the water.

“BUCK!” One of the goodlies cursed out loud as their plan to lead the fox’s forces through a meat grinder before escaping through the secret exit were shot. “What do we do now!?”

“...do you hear that?” A griffon asked. Now that the projected music had stopped everyone heard the sound of battle happening deeper inside their base and the sound of… Singing? Yes something down there decided that now that the music had stopped they would make their own. With the main entrance now caved in the healthy fighters abandoned their post to join the battle apparently going on deeper inside.


Deeper in the Goodly base.


A huge grin appeared on Bloody Horns's face under his armor as he marched out of the tunnel dug by the foxes along with his troops. He had a great deal of fun in the games and the Fluffy Dome but it was great to get back to the real thing. He also loved these goblin things among the mercenaries that his boss got from her city prison. They fall in line great with a good show of force. With joy he swung his war hammer which glew with magic right before it struck an enemy minotaur, increasing its mass for just a moment to the weight of a train cart which sent the goodly knight flying into the wall on the other side of the room that they had broken into. There was just one thing that was bugging him.

"Must you keep making those noises!?" He demanded.

"Pew pew pew pew." the T.W. Mark-1s said as they were fired. One stopped to look up to him. "Yes. It was in the instruction manual." She said as if explaining something to a particularly stupid child. He just groaned as he marched forward until he noticed one of the guys assigned to his group was stalking off alone.

"And where are you off to?" Bloody asked the bone claw.

"Hunting." Was Claw's only response before he vanished into the shadows. Bloody just shrugged and turned to the next wave of Goodlies as they poured in through the door. As the sound of battle rang out around him Claw stalked through the darkness and passage ways. Using the heightened sense of smell and hearing he got from his wolf head and the vision he got from the hawk eyes to keep track of the things around him. Once he picked up the sound of more grunts up ahead he checked a nearby door to see if anyone was on the other side and seeing nothing but a hall curving out of sight he crept in and closed the door. He was after bigger fish after all. Moving down the path without making a sound he turned the corner and stopped at the sight. He was looking at a giant goat head with one eye which he recognized as a hunting trophy. Looking down he read the plaque under it.

Arimaspi

Slain by Gotcha the third as it was atempting to climb up the castle of Griffonstone.

Tilting his head to the side Claw moved forward to see the rest of the room. Monsters, the room was filled with stuffed and mounted monsters. There were the occasional pony here and there but mostly monsters. However he did pick up on a few things that drew his attention. Some of the hunting trophies looked very... human. He moved up to one that looked like an undead old man that was taller than him and hunched over. From its arms it looked like it was starting to grow wings. In its right hand it was holding what he assumed was a bludgeoning weapon made from infected flesh covered in boils. He then glanced down at the pedestal.

Orphan of Kos

Slain by Sir Tracker in froggy bottom bog.

Moving over to the next one was a very female looking shape wearing some kind of deep sea dive gear and on one arm what had to be the biggest needle he had ever seen.

Slain by Fast Arrow in the Everfree forest.

The next one made him feel like he was looking at another hunter. It wore strange armor like a knight with what looked like wires comeing out of the back of its head as if to simulate hair. It had a rope with bones and a few skulls hanging from its armor and a strange looking spear like weapon in one arm.

Predator

Slain by Dirty Cheat near the Badlands.

The boss will want to know about this. Claw thought to himself as he moved on to the next one but was stopped by the sound of something snapping shut and the sound of bells. Looking down he groaned seeing that in his moment of distraction he had walked into some kind of bear trap that had been built into and was camouflaged by the patterns on the floor. Extending some of his claws downwards he attempted to pry it open and failing that tried finding any mechanical parts to get to. Unfortunately he was unable to even loosen the trap that now had his leg and he could hear quiet hoof steps approaching. Seeing no other coarse of action he retracted all but one claw and cut off the trapped leg. Leaning forward and allowing his knuckles to act in place of his lost leg he quickly crawled away into the shadows. Not long after that two earth ponies walked into the room. One with a distinct griffin eye looked around before focusing on the trap.

"Booby Trap. What do you see?" He asked the mare who walked up and began examining the leg.

"Undead. Looks like the leg of a panther but the bone structure has been altered for what looks like a bipedal shape. The structure of the paw looks like it was built for stealth and maneuvering through difficult terrain as well as high speed. The cut is clean showing no sign of hesitation." Booby Trap observed as she examined the leg.

"Very good... Booby, do you know where your brother is?" The stallion asked as he scanned the room.

"He left to aid in the battle. Why?" Booby asked.

"We're being hunted." Was his only response and with that the two moved into the shadows themselves. Claw was genuinely impressed that ponies wearing nothing over their hooves to muffle them could move so silently. He had lost track of them as soon as they were covered in darkness. He licked at his chops in excitement of the hunt and just barely moved his head out of the way of the bolt. I need to be careful. That griffin eye will allow him to see in the dark and with better detail than a pony eye will. But still... Claw grinned at this point. Rin had given his body the best parts for hunting that she could get from the animal corpses. His bat ears twitched as he listened for their location.

"-ber to take it alive. We need to interrogate any of them we catch to find out where your mother and the others are being kept." the sniper pony whispered.

"Yes father." The mare whispered back. Carefully moving around the room while using his ears to keep track of their movements so that he knew where to move to stay out of their line of sight. While using his eyes solely for spotting traps. But he knew he had to move quickly as a hunter he knew that they would figure out he could track them without sticking his head out quickly if they can't spot him. Once he knew that he was near the mare by her lighter hoof steps and the father's vision was obstructed by a pillar he risked peeking out and grinned viciously at what he saw. Payback time.

Booby moved impressively. Bouncing around her own traps or stepping in them without touching the triggers to set them off without even looking. Her eyes shifted about in search of Claw, unawars that he had already seen her first as her pony eyes weren't able to see in the dark like her father's could. It happened in a flash, just as her hoof landed in the trap built into the floor something shot out and hit the trigger before retracting at lightning speeds. Through years of honing her reflexes she quickly pulled her hoof up to avoid it. But as impressive as her reflexes were her trap making skills were far better. And the jaws of her own bear trap clamped tight around her leg, right on the joint attaching her hoof to the rest of her.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Booby screamed in pain making her father rush to her aid. Just as he was getting close to her Claw tossed out a grenade manufactured by Berry Punch. Faster than Claw could track the pony took out his crossbow and fired a bolt that struck the grenade so that it went flying over one of their trophy cases so that the bomb would go off safely behind it and hit the thrower. Unfortunately for him it was a knock out gas grenade and the gas quickly seeped over and around the case covering his daughter knocking her out cold just as she had gotten her hoof free. And Claw who got the stronger dose was immune as he was undead. Cursing the pony jumped back and hid again to avoid the gas and continue to hunt Claw.

One down, one to- Claw's thoughts were interrupted by a bolt that dug itself into the ceiling with a lit fuse. Once the sparks hit the bolt there was a bright light and an ear piercing screech. "AHHHHH!" Claw screamed as he covered his ears to protect them from the offending sound. Then a bolt struck him in the calf of his good leg and into the ground. Eyes widening he looked around but the pony hunter was out of his line of sight. Then he saw another bolt shoot off to the side, ricochet off a pillar, then a horn from one of the trophies and then flew at him. He quickly pulled the bolt out of the ground by letting himself fall back to avoid the shot but the moment he was out of cover another bolt hit him in the stomach and pinned him to a near by display case. As it didn't need to bounce off of anything it was much stronger and dug deep enough to pin him down.

"Move again and the next one will be an incendiary." The pony warned as he came out of hiding while holding up his cross bow. He gave a quick sidlong glance to make sure his daughter was okay.

"It was just knock out gas." Claw told him and he appeared to relax some.

"Now, you're going to answered some questions. Where are your prisoners being kept?!" The pony demanded. Claw had to grin at that.

"She got tired of them escaping so she locked them up in a cozy little prison in the Canterlot palace." Claw replied and a bracelet on the pony's foreleg flashed green making the pony frown.

"Where in the palace? We searched that place from top to bottom and no mater how cramped no amount of room could be left to hold that many prisoners...How many did she execute? Who is left!?" The pony demanded.

"The only ones who died did so in battle. The captured are still locked up. Safe and sound." Claw said making the pony's charm flash green again.

"How? Where?" The pony demanded and Claw just laughed. "Where!?" The pony demanded as he moved closer while pointing his weapon threateningly. Which was exactly what Claw wanted as one of his claws shot out and hit the crossbow while several others hit the pony's legs now that he was within range.

"You'll see soon enough. Mistress! I need extraction! And I have a prisoner!" Claw shouted to the sky confusing the pony until Claw, and by extension him were picked up by a giant hand, the symbol of Lyra's order of all things, and were whisked off to who knows where.

The Lord of the Land Approaches! Part 2 Breaking into Prison.

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This is taking too long. Trixie thought as she stood their deep within the Goodly prison. When the signal was given her group like the other forces at the other goodly basses moved in simultaneously. Both Rin's forces and the other pony princesses. Her group was a small squad meant to sneak in as far as they could to find where the Goodlies keep their prisoners. Seeing as it was a place that could result (However unlikely) in a hostage situation. So far things were going well. Trixie, Cluck, and Vinyl moved in under Trixie's invisibility spell and had to do some impressive maneuvering to not to get too close to any nullifiers. Then the worst possible thing happened. Invisibility is a powerful tool but there are ways to combat it. Dogs to sniff you out, flower sprinkled on the floor. But there was one thing that even the stealthiest of invisibility users dread. A thing that manages to stump them almost every time. The Achilles heel to this amazing power. A closed door! Yes, she knew it would happen eventually seeing as this place is for keeping prisoners and all but she wished she could have gotten them further in. What annoyed her the most was that she was certain that this door wasn't even locked.

They had waited a while in the hopes that someone would use it but word had gotten in that the other places were being attacked so the Goodlies have gone into lock-down and Trixie can tell by their fidgeting that Cluck and Vinyl were getting impatient. Seeing no other way Trixie wiggled a bit signaling to the chicken on her back and the vampire biting her tail that it was time to attack. Cluck lightly pecked her left side indicating he would take the guards to their left. Vinyl lightly kicked Trixie's left hind leg indicating the same thing so Trixie lightly kicked back on Vinyl’s right leg telling her the left was taken which Vinyl kicked back with showing she understood. With that out of the way, Trixie made the first move by creating a powerful flash of light to momentarily blind the guards which her two partners capitalized on and swiftly attacked.

Cluck swiftly took some darts that were the size of thumbtacks from his utility belt and let them fly right into the necks of the guards on his side. The potent tranquilizer in each of the tiny darts took effect quickly as the guards were only half way through drawing their weapons when they suddenly started wobbling for only a moment then dropping to the ground. Vinyl had run up to her targets and to their credit, the Goodlies heard her hoof falls and jumped back quickly to get out of range of her attacks and one went for the alarm. But with her vampire speed Vinyl caught up to that one and smashed his face into the ground knocking him out cold before brutally beating the others into unconsciousness. The guards were then quickly bound making them prisoners which allowed the hand of evil to pick them up. Trixie shook her head as they vanished, she could never figure out how that had worked.

With that done, Trixie went invisible again while Vinyl opened the door and they frowned. Trixie had hoped that with that easy victory they could get back to sneaking as a group but there were others on the other side that heard them take down their friends and got ready and the moment Vinyl was seen the alarm was triggered by a unicorn mage.

Trixie had already moved down the hall on their side of the door to avoid getting hit or having her invisibility taken away while activating the trigger for the gas bombs she had been placing as they moved to at least deal with the groups they had already passed as their cover was blown. As Trixie was doing that Vinyl and Cluck rushed in and started dodging the rain of arrows while dashing off in both directions so that they wouldn't attack the door before moving in for the attack.

Meanwhile, outside the room where the fighting was taking place, Trixie was prodding at the arrows with her magic and frowned as she felt her magic getting shredded by the energy surrounding the arrows. Realizing her magic will be of limited use here Trixie grabbed the costume weapon that was made for her when she became an Epic. Her hat.

With her promotion, Trixie was given her own underground store house that is kept well stocked with all sorts of goodies themed for her. Many of which were made by Rin as power shots. And the place is manned by a team of foxes to get her whatever she needs through the portal connecting that room and the upper part of her super stretchy hat. Placed there so that no part of her head would be in the portal should it be shut down. A concept that gave Trixie horrible nightmares of her brain being exposed and falling out after it was brought up. Not to mention her demands of countless safety precautions added in. Not that anyone blamed her.

Reaching a hoof in Trixie felt for the fox on standby and upon feeling the soft fur she used the mind chat spell she learned from Rin to make a silent command. With a grin, she pulled out her blue gas mask and placed it on her face before reaching in and pulling out an orb made from conjured crystal filled with a clear liquid and tossing it at the group. She then quickly reapplied her invisibility so as not to be seen as she moved from the door. The orb only got about ten feet from them before smashing against the ground.

"There's another one hiding!" One of the knights among the guards shouted out as the liquid that was once in the orb turned into a thick fog of gas when it made contact with the air. The talismans the Goodlies had, however, did nothing to protect them as this was pure chemistry without a drop of magic. It didn't take long for the room and hall way to be filled with a thick, light blue smoke that blocked out all viability.

Trixie smiled for a moment but it slowly turned into a frown. Her team she knew would be fine as Vinyl was undead as such didn't need to breathe and like Trixie, Cluck opted for a mobile armory in the form of his utility belt. Only unlike her hat, his belt pouches were enchanted with something to make them bags of holding. And she knew he had gas masks in there somewhere. And both were capable of fighting blind. But she couldn't hear any coughing at all which meant that the goodlies can also handle the gas.

Trixie's ears twitched when she heard the sounds of hoof steps getting closer to the fighting and used her magic to create a phantom sound of hoof taps in a pattern that her teammates knew were a way of asking if it was a friend and listened for a reply. What she got was the sound of pieces of metal hitting the floor where she made the noise. Now knowing that this was one of her opponents she pulled a flash bomb out of her hat and tossed it. Once it went off she could see the shadow of a pony quickly turning to look at the light. Trixie pulls a mallet pot of her hat, one made up like the one you would see in those test your strength games, and lifted it over the pony and brought it down. She had to use the long handle in order to keep her grip on the thing with her magic but she hit her mark and with some amusement, she noted how the guard's helmet made the same sound those bells on the test your strength games make when the weights hit them.


Meanwhile further in the prison.


"So we are being attacked after all. When we got word that there was a simultaneous attack led by the fox and other forces that have allied with her I figured they had missed us." A griffin said.

"Strange that our attackers snuck in pretty deep before attacking. Think we have somepony they want to spring?" A white unicorn wearing a blue cloth mask over his face that covered all but the top of his head and one eye asked.

"...Perhaps Starlight?" The griffin replied.

"The mare that was stealing cutie marks and brainwashing ponies?" The masked pony asked.

"How un-youthful." A green earthpony with ridiculously large eyebrows said with a sour look on his face.

"Or worse. It could be the one we have locked up in the Vault." The unicorn replied making the other two make a face.

"Please don't even joke about that." The griffin shuddered.

The Vault was a part of the prison dug deep below the surface with cells that take years of endless work to make. They are made of the strongest stuff and have the most powerful enchantments. It was started long ago in case the goodlies ever came across a threat they couldn't kill. At least until they could find a way to end them. So far only one of the cells has an occupant but with the way things have been going lately one of the other cells has already been prepared to hold a certain fox as many in their organization immediately believed it when word got out that they were dealing with a dark goddess.

"It makes no difference who they're trying to free. We can't let even one escape. I'm going to guard the inmates." The griffin said as he got up to leave.

"Guess that leaves us to hunt the intruders down." The masked pony said to his green companion.

"Indeed! Let us show these followers of darkness the power of our YOUTH!" The green pony cried out with tears in his eyes.


Rumble rumble creeetttttccccchhhhhhh Bang! The giant steel doors came crashing down from the musical blast. The team had finally made it to the actual prison section of this base so Vinyl had summoned her Epic weapons to blast the heavy doors in their way. Vinyl and Cluck came charging into the room followed by a pair of floating dragon skulls. In battle ready poses they looked around but found that this area which looked like a lunch room was devoid of guards.

"... Where are all the punching bags?" Vinyl asked after a moment of looking around.

"Bawk ba ba bawk?" (Think they jumped ship?)

"No." Vinyl said plainly as she looked over to the corner of the room. "You can come out. There is no hiding from me. I can smell your blood and hear your hearts beating."

"Oh my, how frightful." A voice called out as a white unicorn in some kind of military garb popped out in a poof of smoke.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!" A green earth pony shouted out as he flipped through the air before striking at Vinyl with a powerful kick, which she was easily able to block because the guy shouted out at the top of his lungs, allowing her time to bring up her forelegs to block. And with her vampire strength she grabbed the leg and tried to slam the earth pony face first into the ground, but using his fore hooves he stopped himself and grabbed the floor with the magic ponies use to hold things with their hooves and lifted Vinyl up and brought his hind hooves down to try and smash Vinyl against the ground. Instead she managed to twist her body and land on her hind hooves and taking a page from the green pony, anchored herself and pulled him up before throwing him as hard as she could across the room where he lands on his hooves.

"I see that the flames of youth burn brightly in you! But our youth burns like Celestia's sun!" The earth pony proclaimed.

"Ummm.... I think you dropped something." Vinyl said as she picked up something black and fuzzy before tossing it over. The green pony lifted a leg and felt his forehead before gasping when he realized that one of his giant eyebrows were gone, replaced by a normal looking thin one.

"Oh no! How embarrassing! Thank you, that was very youthful of you to return this." He replied as he took out a tube and squirted something onto the fake eyebrow before placing it back on his face. "How is it?"

"A little crooked. Lower the inside a little." Vinyl said and the green pony complied. "There, it's good now."

"Now that we've both shown ourselves why don't you do the same?" The unicorn asked as he lowered part of his mask, exposing his glowing red eye. "No illusion magic will fool this eye. I can see you just fine miss Trixie." With a huff, Trixie became visible again and looked closely at the red eye that had a familiar glow that she knew well.

"Mountain heart." It was the only kind of gem with value in this world as it can't be grown with magic and are difficult to find. They're also the best gems to enchant and can hold the most mana for their size. In fact, it's the same kind of gem that's in the Alicorn Amulet. She glanced down at her amulet that glowed just as brightly as his eye from all the mana she had been pumping into it since she got it.

"Very good. You know your stuff. Perhaps we can talk magic once you get comfortable in your new cell." The unicorn stated.

"I'm so excited! The flames of my youth are burning hotter than ever before! She's so strong I might have to use the Eight Inner Gates!" The unicorn was about to scold his comrade fore even thinking of using such a dangerous technique but everypony's attention was drawn to a loud cracking sound from Vinyl turning her head too fast. The vampire was staring at the earth pony now with an unreadable expression.

"Trix, Cluck, I know we had a plan but I think we need to change it. Trix, you need to go ahead to the prisoners while Cluck fights ninja pony." Vinyl said in a rare show of seriousness.

"You realize Cluck already left right?" Trixie asked in a deadpan. "Besides, why can't Trixie take on the youthful pony and you fight the guy immune to illusions?"

"...He had so many enchanted items made for him to emulate things from old stories for his fight but there was one thing he could do on his own. Strong Heart used meditation and self-hypnoses to learn how to shut off the brains limitations on his muscles and pump himself full of adrenaline. It tore his body up but believe me it's dangerous and if this guy learned to do it to you don't want to fight him. He called it the Eight Inner Gates." Vinyl explained. "Hey, boss can you use that hat spell to swap Trix and Cluck?... Boss? Yo fluff butt!" Vinyl shouted with a frown.

"Something must be distracting her." Trixie said with concern. "But what can be bad enough she would forget us?"


In the dungeon.


"What is going on!" I demand as I look around the shaking room. No, the whole dungeon is shaking.

"Your dungeon is under attack!"

Using my Keeper vision to get a bird's eye view of my dungeon I quickly find a spot where someone tunneled straight down into my dungeon from the surface and zoom in. I don't like what I see. In the kitchen with my Bloat thrall chef and several imps is what I can only describe as a raid party made up entirely of Celestias!

"I've got just one question." A Celestia said as she walked forward from the rest of her group. "Do you like bananas?"

The Lord of the Land Approaches! Part 3 Welcome to the Dungeon!

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"Umm... I'm just the cook?" The bloat thrall said in an uncertain tone. The Celestia that spoke narrowed her eyes at his words and flew forward while drawing a flaming sword. "Oh crud!" The bloat thrall cried out as he backed away while drawing his weapon and firing a spray of acidic green slime at her, but she easily sidestepped the spray and with an upward swing attacked the bloat thrall. I tried to use my hand to get him out of there but it was to fast and the blade cut deeply through his decayed belly. Unfortunately for her and the rest of the group she was unaware of one of the bloat thrall’s abilities. 'BOOM!' When they're defeated, they explode. The room filled with groans as all the Celestia's got up off the floor. Shaking the blast off.

"What the buck was that?!" One of the Celestias asked.

"You must not have many necromancers in your universe. In mine it was a common tactic for them to rig undead to explode." Another replied as she and the others looked around. Not only was the bloat thrall being used as a fresh coat of green paint for the room but all of the foxes in the room were dead, their flesh melted by acid and bones broken by the concussive force.

"Hey, over here. What do you all make of this?" One of them called out, drawing the other's attention to the large, heavy steel doors. They were covered from top to bottom with warning signs and over the door was written 'Warning! Princess Luna's cooking lab! Do not open!'

"A sick joke." One answered before using her alicorn strength to buck the doors open with the horrid screech of metal being torn apart. What they found inside was another kitchen and on a large table in the center of the room was a giant, beautiful cake. One of the Celestias moved closer to sniff at it.

"Be careful! It could be poisoned, or booby trapped!" One of the other Celestias warned.

"What if it really was made by Luna?" The Celestia who got close asked.

"That would be even worse!" Whatever the other Celestia was going to say was cut off as the rattling sound of bones filled the air. Turning to the entrance, they saw a large group of skeletons who were drawn to the sound of the bloat thrall exploding.

“...Why are they all wearing red shirts?” A steampunk Celestia asked.

“It doesn't matter.” A human looking Celestia said as she steps forward and lifts her spear. “Vile creatures of darkness! Burn away under my holy light!” At those words the spear shone like the sun cutting off all sight in the room for a moment. Once the light faded the skeletons were still standing there. “...What the,”


“Hell!?” I say in shock. What was that!? I just felt a major drain on my reserves! I tense as it happens again, and again. Looking back to my uninvited guests I see the light one was just standing there flashing her light over and over. Her face shows that she can’t comprehend that the undead aren't being obliterated and is running on autopilot. My skeletons by this point had rushed the group. After my skeleton army was full I had opted to enhance what I had by carving runes into them making them run faster, hit harder and take more damage before going down… didn’t help them in the slightest. One of the other Celestias had had enough and blasted that side of the room with a powerful fire spell destroying the skeletons and stopping the drain.


“Is she just going to keep doing that?” An anthro Celestia asked as the human looking one was still spamming her light with a look of incomprehension on her face.

“Give her a moment for the shock to wear off. At least they’re still vulnerable to fire.” Another said before they heard a gasp. Turning as one they saw that one of their own was laying up against the table, her head buried deep into the cake, unmoving. Pulling her out, the other Celestias saw that her face had turned blue and that her eyes had rolled into the back of her head with foam coming out of her mouth.

“No poison should be able to affect us this fast or this hard.” One Celestia said in shock.

“This can only mean one thing.” Another said looking from left to the right at the others.

“It truly is Luna’s cooking.”

“That monster! Weaponizing Luna’s cooking!? Such an act is a war crime!” one of the Celestia’s exclaimed aghast at the idea.

“Quick! We need to get that stuff out of her before it’s too late!” And with that the group got to work trying to empty the fallen mare’s stomach.


“This is certainly a situation.” I say before summoning a token. “Kruger, I need a diplomat here.” I call out.

“Kruger?... Dogfish?” I asked after getting no reply. Looking the thing over I saw nothing wrong with it so I tried another. “Ax? You there?... Doctor Doom?... Buggy wan kenobi?” I got no reply from any of them. Then I pulled out the token for Handsome Jack and I saw some scary words on the screen. ‘No Signal.’

“...They're blocking me? How do you block a token!?” I cry out. This is bad. Most of the minions I have here are undead. The rest are attacking various Goodly basses. I need a displaced now!... “Bring me Doctor Wolf!” At my orders several imps vanished and a short while later came back with a very surprised looking wolf.

“What is going on here!?” The wolf demanded as he got up off the floor when the foxes stopped dragging him.

“I’m being attacked by a raid party of Celestias! I need you to go talk with them and convince them I’m not evil! What do you think?” I asked him.

“I think you’re trying to get my ass kicked.” He replied frowning at Rin, his ears flattened to the back of his head.

“Well I’m sorry but they’re blocking me from using tokens.” I explain to him in exasperation.

“You can do that!?” He shouted in shock.

“Apparently!” I shout out with my forelegs raised up in the air. “Now are you going to help me or not?”


“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… What hit me.” The downed Celestia asked as she tried to get up but her legs were too weak and she just fell to the floor again.

“You were warned.” A Celestia wearing a lab coat said.

“Excuse me?” A voice called out and the group turned to see a bipedal wolf waving a white flag. “I’m here to negotiate your cease of hostilities.” He said meekly.

“Then you can start by returning the ponies your dark mistress has taken.” Steampunk Celestia said.

“I- what? What are you talking about?” He asked in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to process what they had said.

“Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic. She has abducted them in bulk from all of our worlds!” the same Celestia replied.

“I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never even heard of a bunch of Twilights being here all at once.” He said in even more confusion.

That’s because Celestia has gone out of her way to make sure her Twilight doesn't find out about my library or the giant floating magic school from another world. Though how long she can keep it up is anyone's guess. I thought to myself as I watched their interaction.

“And I don’t work for Rin, she just dragged me here because she needed a diplomat and apparently she couldn’t summon one.” He continued, noting the smirk on steampunk Celestia’s face.

“Then you have been fooled. We know they’re here.” Lab coat Celestia replied angrily.

“And how do you know that?” he asked evenly to avoid antagonizing the swarm of Celestia.

“We have a very reliable source.” Was his only reply to that question.

“Now tell her to return our subjects or burn.” A goth Celestia said darkly.

“And what if your info is wrong and they’re not here?” He asked with worry. They replied by charging up their horns making him run away yipping in fear.

“Fast for something on two legs.” The only male member of the group said before looking to the cake eater. “I don’t think she will be able to go on.”

“Agreed, she’ll need to be hospitalized.” A Celestia wearing a stereotype Disney princess dress said in concern. A few of their numbers used their magic to send her home.

“Now to knock this one back to reality.” Goth Celestia said to light goddess Celestia who was still just standing there flashing her light over and over again. With a snort Gothlestia walked behind the light bringer and lowered her head and thrusting her horn forward a little.

“Youch!” Lightlestia shouted as she jumped forward and used her free hand to cover her butt. She was about to yell at the other her when what happened before registered. “How can the undead be immune to my purifying light!?”

“They still burn.” Another Celestia said.

“They should burn by my light!” Lightlestia shouted. Her mane catching fire as she yelled.

“How should we know? You can just ask her when we catch her.” Tiki mask wearing Celestia said.

“Your right. I’ll interrogate her.” Lightlestia said as she took a calming breath. "Let's go."

"One moment, there is something we must do first." Said a Celestia made entirely out of legos, getting a nod from the others. Then without a moment's hesitation Luna's kitchen lab was incinerated in white fire leaving nothing in there but ash and molten rock. The evil vanquished, the party moved to leave the room and I used my inspiration manifestation along with my hand of evil to change the door to my latest model. The one I got from Sombra's research notes, in the hopes that it will buy me some time.

Once the group reached the door and when one of them tried to open it the door shot across the wall and stopped on the wall to their left a small distance away. The group stopped for a moment to look at the door that had fled them before deciding on a solution to this new problem. BOOM! They blasted the wall where the door used to be, making their own opening that wouldn't run away. Normally such tactics would never work in a dungeon with reinforced walls because the magic flowing through them hardens them too much to make the energy needed to keep up such things impossible... But with this group, they have the mana to spare.


Dr. Wolf ran back into the command room with the imp I lent him so he wouldn't get lost and stopped dead at what he saw.

"You... you actually did it?! You've been kidnapping Twilights!?" He demanded drawing the attention of the mass of purple adorkableness surrounding me.

"I did not! They came to me on their own. That's why they're here, to explain things to the sun army of kickassery so they will stop." I reply.

"How have I not heard of this?" Dr. Wolf asked with exasperation.

"Because an army of Twilights traveled across dimensions to live in my city. So Celestia thought that it would be best if our Twilight finished her therapy lessons before she found out." I reply.

"...You have a city?" He asked with an eye twitch.

"Best not to think about it. Now enough distractions. Twilights, move out!" I command and the large group of eggheads who were very disgruntled about being taken away from their books followed the guide fox that will lead them to my disgruntled guests. Hopefully the minions I sent to keep them distracted will be able to hold them off till they get there.


"Mime, mr. mime!" Gambit said tiredly.

"Yes, we get it, you're a mime! Which aren't supposed to talk!" A Celestia said as she bashed against the pokemon's barrier with a burning, golden mace. "Best invisible box act I've ever seen though."

"Mr. mime." The clown groaned. He couldn't keep this up much longer with how strong the blows to his barrier, which the pokemon once proudly assumed was unbreakable, are. But was at his limits.

"Gambit, time to switch out!" Treat called out. Treat was the nickname Rin gave pokemon trainer Trixie along with Trick which is what she now called this world's Trixie, so that they could be told apart in conversation. Treat had already pulled out the next pokeball to call out Tank, her blastoise. A name she stole from Rainbow's pet because she thought it would suit her starter better. But just as she was going to throw the ball she was distracted by my bellsprout who jumped forward and glowed golden.

"Bell, SPROUT!" As the small plant cried out a massive beam shot out from his mouth and grew far larger as it shot down the hall like a Dragon Ball Z attack. The plant type had just used its solar beam, a move that gets its strength by absorbing sunlight and focusing it into an attack. And he had just been standing in front of a bunch of Celestias soaking in the light of their power as they wailed on Gambit's barrier. As such the beam was supercharged and shook the walls of the dungeon as it covered every inch of the hallway with blinding light. Once the attack had eaten through all of that stored up energy and the beam shrank away to nothing he was severely disappointed to see all of the invaders still standing in the same spot looking down at him without even a scratch.

...
...
...

"Tank, hydro pump!" Treat called out, ignoring the small plant type who was sulking away with anime tears in his beady little eyes at what had to be the most impressive solar beam in pokemon history, which was about as effective as a splash attack. Once Tank fired his blasts of water, two Celestias countered with two beams of fire which met the water in the middle and instantly filled the surrounding area with thick steam and an almost painfully loud hiss. Seeing this I hit Treat with a quick protection from energy (Fire) to protect her from getting cooked. Nothing could be seen through the mist as it spread out as if attempting to invade my dungeon itself. The battle between two powerful water cannons and two beams of fire raged on for almost a full minute before Tank could see the twin beams of fire inching forward, evaporating his powerful streams of water as they went. Once they reached him he was blown back by the power and instantly knocked out.

"Tank? Tank are you okay?" Treat asked as she tried to return Tank to his ball but was unable to as she couldn't see where he landed through the fog of steam and the sweat in her eyes thanks to the heat. At that moment she was picked up with my hand of evil with the pokemon and moved to a safe location far from the invaders.

"I don't hear them. What's going on?" Celestia asked.

"I don't know, I can't even see my own muzzle." Celestia replied.

As this was happening I'm surprised to see my new toy ,Pyramid Pink, sneaking up on the intruders. Impressive not just for the fact that she's smart enough to lift her weapon off the ground so that it won't make any noise. But the fact that she can walk softly at all. That blade is made from an incomplete dragon skeleton I got my paws on and compressed. As you'd imagine, it is extremely heavy. As such super strength isn't enough to use it. If you're not heavier than the blade then strong or not you just can't swing it. As such I had to make her body extremely dense. I watch as she manages to sneak up to the Celestia in the back and swings her giant kitchen knife flat side forward.

'SMACK!' The walls echoed the sound of a thunderous slap and the shrill scream of a flying Celestia covering her butt protectively before using her face as an emergency break. It sounded like tires screeching from a car trying to stop before crashing into a wall. Alas this Celestia just couldn't stop in time and I can't help but laugh when her crashing into the wall causes the air in the front of her dress to be pushed to the back, making the back of her dress blow up like air bags for a moment.

Fortunately I had the presence of mind to snatch up Pyramid Pink just in time. Before setting her down in another part of the dungeon I look her over and am surprised to see that she has a soul. That is, Pinkamina's soul. She must have jumped ship for her own body.

"Celestias, flap!" Another Celestia called out, grabbing my attention. And as one the collective groups began flapping their wings creating a powerful wind to clear the air. Unfortunately the magic in the dungeon walls and floor that allow my dungeons to keep fresh air and cleans up the poison gas when a gas trap goes off or when someone farts helped them speed up the process.

Sigh, what a waist. That could have slowed them down for a little while if none of them had any spells to help them see.

Once the fog had been cleared they hurried over to their downed member.

"Are you alright? What happened?" A Celestia asked.

"I'm not going to be able to sit on my throne for a month." The downed Celestia groaned. "Face hurts a little to." After giving her time to collect herself they once more moved on, only stopping every now and again to change directions... Sometimes without reaching a dead end... Wait, they're...

"Excuse us?" One of the Twilight's called out as they approach the raid party. The Celestia parade stopped with looks of surprise on their faces. "We're here to set it strait that we weren’t foal-napped and came of our own free will for the books." Not... exactly diplomatic. It's clear the Twilight speaking just wants to get back to the library as fast as possible. Without even so much as a word Lightlestia lifted her staff and unleashed a powerful light that washed over the surprised bookworm brigade.

"Now I wash away the taint in my holy light! Be free!" Lightlestia called out.

"What was that?" A Twilight asked.

"I think she was casting a brainwashing nullification spell?" Another guessed.

"Sooo.... can we go back to the library now?" Lightlestia blinked at that last Twilight's question.

"Library? But, don't you want to come home?" Lightlestia asked.

"Do you have any idea how many books Rin has? And her library is still growing!" a Twilight exclaimed.

"But I... no." Lightlestia steeled herself. "This is just like it was with the undead. Somehow her dark magic is immune to my light."

Immune my fluffy butt! You ate through more than half of my mana doing that!

"Don't worry little ones, we will save you." Lightlestia said with conviction and tried to hit the purple party with a spell to shift them to another plane but the Twilights were ready this time and as one they all performed a teleportation spell. "NO!"

"Don't worry, I've got a lock on their magical signature now." Steampunk Celestia reassured as she checked the readings on a device that looked like a huge stopwatch. "They're not even in the dungeon anymore. They were for a moment but made a much larger jump to some place in Equestria."

"Then they're out of the way. We should focus on stopping the villain." Male Celestia said. With a nod of determination, they once more started moving forward.

...Well I tried diplomacy and rolled a one. Or maybe a nineteen. Back in the room I was in, I called over two foxes and ordered them to go find Celestia and Luna and explain the situation to them. With that done I turn my attention back to the invaders. I noticed before the Twilight's had arrived that despite making a few mistakes they have been heading straight for me without any aid. To test this I create a portal and jump to a new location in my dungeon and check on team sun. The raid party had indeed stopped moving and were now looking back the way they had come. Or to be more exact, they're looking in my general direction.

Instead of moving my way though they huddle together and whisper for a moment before most of them lit up their horns and as one a blast of golden light flew out in all directions, passing through the walls to reach every dark corner. Looking up with my actual eye sockets I see a wall of golden magic flying at me as fast as a bullet.

"Oh shit!" I cry out and try to raise up a shield while backpedaling but I just didn't have the time. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

....

Opening my eyes I look around to see nothing has happened. I check myself over with my magic to find... nothing. No damage, no debuffs, no tracer. My body, mind and soul went untouched. I checked my dungeon and minions as well and everything is fine.

"Then what did that spell do?" I ask myself before checking back up with the intruders who have already started back the way they came. Carefully stepping over the pieces of what used to be walls and doors that they had been blasting as they moved through my dungeon. It wasn't long however before they came to a stop in bewilderment after turning a corner. The path that they had destroyed not long ago was almost completely repaired. In the small section that was still damaged were several foxes wearing yellow hard hats and armed with construction equipment frozen in place as they stared back at the invaders. Around the foxes were slimes that were happily plopping around.

Without a word one of the Celestias lifted her sword to strike but fortunately I had realized that my new fox imps had a great potential to wield a power beyond description, one that could protect them from even some of the most powerful beings out there.

"Eep!" They cried out as they dropped their tools and curled up like kicked puppies. Their bodies shaking in a perfect simulation of fear as they whimpered pitifully on the ground. That's right. I taught them the way of the Fluttershy! And they can pull her off flawlessly! Who would strike down my imps now? Some of them can even cry on demand!

The Celestia stopped dead when she saw this and looked to her comrades who were also not sure what to do here and looked like they were forcing themselves to stay where they stood and not hug the foxes for fear that it was a trap. With a cringe the Celestia filled her sword with her magic and struck down the slimes that were plopping towards her without hitting the foxes.

"Excuse me?" The Celestia with a sword began.

"Eep!" The foxes shrank back even further as some of them let tears flow silently as they moved just right to tug at the heartstrings. It was a true Oscar worthy performance. The look of guilt on the mares faces was evidence of that. Once more the Celestia that had stepped forward looked back to her party for help.

"They... I think they're just workers. They might even be slaves." A Celestia said but she wasn't that sure about that last part as the foxes looked healthy and had no bindings.

"Then why did they have slimes?" Another asked.

Because if Dungeons and Dragons has taught me anything about slimes, it's that they make amazing janitors.

"Um, guards?" One of the Celestias guessed.

"Here, let me." The Celestia made out of legos gently used her magic to move the foxes to one side before she started throwing tools and rubble at them which managed to stack and connect into a cage around the foxes without hitting any of them. It was just like in those lego video games, including those lego coins appearing out of nowhere. "That should take care of it." Legolestia said in a voice of uncertainty and guilt.

With that the party moved on, most of which cooed and whispered assurances to the trembling foxes as they passed while a few even slipped some sweets through the bars for them. Once enough time has passed after the raid group had left the foxes dropped the act and split the candy haul they got out of it. Even if they are constructs they are made of flesh and blood so they can eat for energy even if they don't strictly need it.

Meanwhile the raid party was marching along, being considerably less destructive. Partly because they didn't want to bring in anymore foxes after what had just happened. They were already feeling guilty not only from scaring the poor things, but also from the foxes that died from the bloat thrall's detonation. But also the mana cost they had to pay to cast that spell earlier as well as its upkeep. They could feel three powerful beings outside the dungeon trying to break the spell so they didn't want to be too wasteful. On this path it wasn't long before they came to something else that made them pause.

"Is that a treasure chest?"

"Steel chest with fancy gold and jewel decorations... yep, looks like a treasure chest."

"Wait! What are you doing!?" One of the Celestia's exclaimed at some of her party members that were just about to open it making them stop to look at her. "Why would there be a treasure chest just sitting in the middle of a hallway? This is obviously a trap."

"I've already cast greater detect trap and didn't pick up anything." One of the Celestias that had moved towards the chest said before casting an unlocking spell. Once they heard the click one of them opened it without delay.

"No!" The Celestia that had warned them cried out in alarm.

"Mostly gold and jewels but there are a few potions and a box of... cookies." The Celestia that had cast the spells on the chest said as she pulled out the loot. The Celestia who tried to warn them gave the treasure a deer in the headlights look as another Celestia patted her on the back.

"You don't have dungeons in your world do you?" No answer was given. The Celestia that shouted the warning simply started massaging her temples.

(Celestia #7 POV)

This is so idiotic. The chest is bad enough, but cookies! The lord of this dungeon is mocking us!

"Can we just... Keep moving?" I ask the others which thankfully agree. As we move I wonder why this underlord hadn't been defeated yet. All we've seen so far are weak undead. Skeleton after skeleton smashed to bits or burned to ashes. At least, until we cut through a room labeled the 'Cadaver Lab.' We all slowed down to look around at the many mini rooms along the walls. Each cut off with a thin crystal wall. I had to keep down the bile as I look at some of the creations in each room.

There was one that was a massive number of corpses fused together into a giant ball. It's many arms pushing at the ground to keep itself rolling. Another code named 'Shock Troopers' had several human zombies in the room. Each one with metal blades in place of hands as well as spikes running down its back and a few in other places. Though the most dangerous things about them is the powerful electricity jumping about their bodies and how fast they're running around in there.

"No stop!" My attention is turned to my comrade who had shouted out. Looking to who she had shouted at I saw one of the mes looking back with her hoof on a big, shiny red button.

"Administering liquid pain." A mechanical voice rang out. With concern I look to the chamber that the button belonged to. 'Project Bane.' Inside was a simple zombie with tubes sticking out of various parts of its bodies connected to a tank on the back wall. In the tubes I see a glowing red liquid being pumped into the undead which starts to spasm violently. Despite common sense telling me to destroy it now I can't help but watch as the weak zombie swells with muscles and grows larger and more distorted in a way that makes it even more terrifying. As it's eyes begin to glow the same red as the liquid being pumped into it the abomination let out a scream of rage and charged through the crystal window and attack.

"Buck!" One of my comrades cried out as she put up a barrier but the brute shattered it with a punch and sent her flying through the crystal wall keeping the shock troopers in their room. Loud electric sounding screams filled the room along with the screams of the other me that was sent flying. Another of our group broke off to help her while the rest of us readied to fight the hulking monster. It had shattered its own arm with that attack but its arm was quickly mending itself.

I bight back a curse as I hit it with a fire spell which the others follow up with their own attacks. Rather than being turned into ash like the others though it instead jumps at me and, before I can react, punches me across the room and into a wall. Thankfully not into another project room. I groan as one of the others heals me, I can feel my muzzle reforming itself. Unfortunately the monster was also recovering from the damage caused by our fire as well as the immense damage it's doing to itself every time it attacks. One of the others came up behind it and smashed its skull, crushing it flat and into its torso but even that doesn't stop it as it keeps attacking while it's head repairs itself.

"It's getting smaller!" One of the others shouted. "Its eyes aren't glowing as bright! I think that red stuff that made it grow is also what heals it! If we give it bigger wounds I think it will burn through the stuff faster!" It was as good a theory as any so rather than setting its body on fire with weak, mana conserving attacks we just hit it with white flames that quickly burns large holes through it until it looks like swiss cheese. She was right, as its body restores the damage it quickly shrinks back into a normal zombie. It's even still badly damaged from the attack. As it slowly crawled towards me I use that weak fire spell and turn it into ash.

"What were you thinking!? Don't just go around pushing buttons! Especially the big red ones! Nothing good ever comes from pushing big red buttons!" Our party member in the goth getup shouted at one of the ones now sporting Afros.

"We're sorry, we don't have buttons in our world so we didn't know." The Celestia who pushed the button replied with her ears folded back. Before the angry goth could continue her tirade however the door on the other side of the room opened and two creatures that look like golems in the shape of flightless birds with large reptile skulls and another that walks on 4 legs and has some kind of gun for one of its arms enter the lab. Having learned our lesson we just melt the things instead of worrying to much about conserving our mana.

"The clock is ticking." I remind the angry goth who snorts before moving forward with the rest of us.

"At least she got her punishment with those electric zombies. Nice mane by the way." One of the others joked and, as the fates saw fit, at that moment we triggered some kind of electric trap shocking the rest of us into having soul power on our heads. "... Not... a... word."

As we moved forward we came to a large room filled with toys which kind of freaked me out a bit as it looked like their eyes were following me. Which might be true as something soft just landed on my back and wrapped around my neck. Looking down I see a teddy bear with its arms around my neck.

"What's it doing?" The Celestia next to me asked.

"Well... it's either trying to strangle me, or give me a hug." I reply as it isn't hurting me.

'ding...ding ding...ding...ding ding ding ding.'

We all turn to the box making the sound before the lid shoots open and a scary little clown pops up, laughing in an unnatural way. It then pulls up a little cannon that quickly fires a ball, which breaks on the ground, releasing some kind of gas. It gives off another manic laugh before it pulls itself back into its box and closes it just in time as a fire ball hits it, sending its box flying a short distance. As if to mock us it pops back out again to laugh at us before retreating back into the safety of its box to evade another attack.

With an annoyed grunt the Celestia with the mace stormed up to the box and brought her weapon down on it, managing to scratch the paint.

"What?" The Celestia who had just attacked said in bewilderment before attacking it again to get the same results. "What is this box made of?" She asked as she drops her weapon and attempts to pry the lid open with her bare hands. The deranged laughter of the clown seeping out of the box the entire time.

"Everypony." A Celestia said drawing all of our attention to the toys around the room that had pulled out weapons and were moving in on us. This problem was solved, as many can be, by burning them. All this time that one Celestia was still trying to get at that clown so when the toy barbecue was finished I walked back the way we came and picked up a busted down steel door, sigh at the foxes I see cleaning up the mess we were making, and head back.

"Here let me." I say as I take the box in my magic and almost falter at its magic resistance before setting it down right-side up. I then place the steel door down on top of the box, trapping the annoying clown.

(Rin POV)

As they are moving along I am freaking out. I had found out what the spell they cast earlier was when my imps tried to teleport out of the cage that was built around them... they couldn't. I tried pick them out with the hand of evil but that didn't work either. It was at this point that I realized they stopped space magic. I was fine then as shadow portals aren't space magic so I made them one to get out... they bounced off of some kind of golden barrier that showed up in front of the portal. It's not a spell that stops space magic. It's a spell that stops others from leaving space through magic! Wait, what about entering it?

With my sight of evil spell I look up over my dungeon to find Celestia and Luna as well as Discord wailing on the spell that's keeping them from entering. I was wondering what was taking them so long.

Returning to my own normal sight I'm forced to contemplate my situation. I am now cornered and unable to even summon a lifeforce crystal to make a new imp and the invaders are between me and my old imps. Meeting the invaders is also out of the question as I'm facing a raid party that has a complete type advantage against me. So I can't use magic to escape, nor can I fight. I tried bombarding them with spells from my hand of evil but it looks like they were informed of that as they all already had magical shielding from spells.

"Wait! Maybe there is a way!" I use the create gold spell then use it to cast the create imp spell without lifeforce. Once the corpse falls to the ground I cast reanimation to make it a zombie fox. With a groan it lifts itself off the ground.

"Yes, now dig me an escape tunnel!" I order. With a groan it lifts its pickax and swings it in the general direction of the wall but only hitting air.

"...You might want to get a little closer." I suggest and it does get closer before making a swing... closer to me. "Hey!" I shout as it almost hits me. "I meant closer to the wall!" I'm getting desperate now. If this doesn't work I'm going to have to do something I really don't want to do... manual labor. I am forced to concede however when the zombie falls onto its back and tries to dig a tunnel into the ceiling by swinging at it from its spot on the ground.

"And I thought normal zombies were stupid." I grumble as I snatch the pickax away and give the zombie fox a good kick. I then drag it over to serve as my seat cushion while I start digging my escape tunnel and so I can have something to take my frustration out on. If nothing else this zombie could be useful as a punching bag.

During all this time team Celestia has made it through some undead, evil toys and one lightning trap and is currently coming to what has to be one of the dickest thing you could place in a dungeon.

As the Celestia party marched out of a room that was formerly filled with evil toys, leaving only jack-ass in the box, the teddy that was attempting to strangle a Celestia, and a smarty pants doll that was chasing the party which was ignoring it as it held up, not a knife, but a sheet of paper with a big, menacing red F on it.

The first thing that could be noticed about the group is the large afros they all now wore on their heard after their run in with a well placed lightning trap. The awesome soul power they got from those afros was striped away by the afros made from their tails that were now bobbing up and down over their butts. At least for the ones that had tails. This humiliation was stacked upon when the Celestias in front suddenly found their faces squished against something they couldn't see like kids making faces by pressing against a window. This was followed by the Celestias behind them crashing into them before being sandwiched by the ones in the back causing the entire party to crash to the ground.

"What the buck was that?" One of them asked as they all struggled to get out of the pile.

"We crashed into something." Another answered as she looked around what appears to be a giant empty room. While this was happening another pushed her magic out to trace the invisible structure in front of them before frowning.

"It's an invisible wall maze." She answered getting a sour look from the others. There was no need for a discussion on how to proceed. As one they sent a blast of magic to make a clear path through this BS challenge. What can I say, I was experimenting. Once the beams reached the other end they stopped their attack and moved forward, which resulted in a few face plants.

"Watch out for invisible rubble." A Celestia called out as she flew over the party only to run her head into a chunk of wall that was still there in the upper area. Needless to say I was ready to cheat to slow them down and I had a bit of inspiration. Opening a shadow portal in that room I will the darkness of the shadow realm to come over and blanket the room.

Shouts of indignation rang out from the group as they tried to light the way, but every time a horn, staff, or gadget started producing light the darkness made it clear what it thought of that and started attacking. Getting the message they stopped trying to brighten things up and start moving forward as fast as they could, though still slowly. As they trudged along most of them gritted their teeth as the darkness tried to drain them. I can only hope it's enough because with all the drain I've suffered from that light Celestia I don't think I can do that again in the time I have left. Once they got through that section they marched down two more hallways, blasting a boulder trap on the way, before being stopped again.

"Halt!" a voice cried out making them stop and look around but seeing nothing other than a door with dragon designs blocking their path. "Who dares to approach the mighty Neapolitan!? Strongest of all magic doors and guardian of the empty room that will one day be used as storage for important things?"

"Did that door just talk to us?" One of the Celestias questioned.

"Yes! And you are obviously intruders! Begone from this place or face the awesome power of my mighty loogies!" The door replied.

"...Is this some kind of joke?" Another Celestia asked.

"I see that you do not yet know of my power, behold! Pew!" The door spat out a golf ball sized fireball that the entire party sidestepped, not out of fear of fire but none of them wanted to be hit with what the door said was a loogie. With a snort one of the Celestias blasted the door with her magic followed by a bombardment from the others. Unable to stand up to the attacks the magic door let out one final, defiant cry of "GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!" before disintegrating away to show that beyond the magic door was... another door.

374 doors later the party came to the last room on this path. Just as the first door had said it was clearly a storage room with long holes carved into the walls to make shelves, though all of the shelves were empty. In fact the entire room was empty save for some dirt around a small hole in the back where they could hear someone digging. The hole was small, maybe big enough for a foal to crawl through but they all knew they wouldn't be able to fit in there.

"Fiend! Come out and face us!" Lightlestia shouted into the hole.

"No! You're going to bully me!" I replied as I kept digging.

"Coward! You will face us even if we need to blast through this wall to get to you!" Lightlestia shouted back but was stopped by the hoof of one of her party members.

"We have cake. If you come out you can have as much as you like." A Celestia called out. ...She can't seriously believe that would work.

"I already have a stockpile of cake in here." I shot back.

"I don't smell any cake coming from this hole." She replied.

"AHA! How can you smell for cake in here if there is cake out there!"

"Alright my turn." Another Celestia said before doing, what's in my opinion, the dumbest thing she could have done... She stuck her head in the hole.

"My cake!" Zap thunk bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

"AHHHHHHHH!" The Celestia cried out as she quickly pulled her head out and backpedaled as her face was being chased by a very angry sounding swarm of wasps. The swarm was quickly dealt with be waves of fire from some of the others but they all noticed an increase in their share of the upkeep of the spell they had cast earlier. Looking to the Celestia that had stuck her head in the hole they saw her looking up at her horn that was covered in tiny black crystals. Another spoils of war from Sombra.

"Right, blasting it is." Lightlestia said as she attacked the wall but I put up a barrier to protect it as well as myself. But soon all of the others joined in with the bombardment forcing me to burn through my reserves faster. This is bad, against one Celestia I could easily win in a war of attrition, but against all of them? My shields won't hold out long enough. Especially considering I need to use some of my magic to keep my tunnel from caving in as the collective attacks are shaking the room.

Every now and then a rock would fall from the ceiling onto the Celestias but they just ignored them. Between all the spells they've been casting and maintaining the wide range spatial lock spell which has been and is still being bombarded by three powerful beings they were running low on magic and needed to get to the fox before they were too low on mana to beat to her.

Not good not good, how could this get any wo- No! It was to late, Baby Carmen and and Berry's kid chose that exact moment to walk into the room to see what's going on and of course Murphy, that ass, has a particularly large chunk of the ceiling falling towards them. In a moment of panic I divert my focus and protect the rugrats with a barrier and the last thing I see is a shit ton of dirt as my tunnel caves in on me.


"Ohhhhhhhh..." I groan as I come to in my own room.

"Oh good, you're awake. Fix Trixie's plot!" I hear a demand and look over at Trixie who was laying in a hospital bed in my room with some kind of machine attached to her butt.

"...what," I began to say.

"No, just no. Fix Trixie's plot... and we never speak of this again." Trixie demanded.

"..."

With a thud Vinyl and Cluck fell to the floor shortly before Celestia, who was with Vinyl when I pulled her teleported in.

"Aunty! You're awake, are you okay?" Celestia asked with worry.

"I'll live, but I want to know what happened to those kids that walked in on the raid, what happened to Trixie's plot, what happened with Cluck and what happened to the Celestia raid party... in that order." I reply.

"The children are fine. They're safe with their mothers." Celestia answered.

"And you don't need to know! Just fix Trixie's plot!" Trixie demanded.

"Vinyl?" I ask.

(Flashback)

"YYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUTTTTTHHHHHH!" The green earth pony cried out as he and Vinyl clashed in a pure hoof to hoof battle. As this was going on Trixie was aiming her hat at the one eyed unicorn as he moved forward dodging the large playing card shaped blades that were being launched by a rapid fire mechanism on the other side of the portal by the foxes. Realizing that the cards aren't cutting it she decides to change tactics.

"Jackpot balls!" Trixie calls out. Once the cards stop flying She places her hat back on and activates her trick horseshoes with runes for kinetic force activating, lifting Trixie into the air and she angles one hoof slightly so that she could hover around the room quickly to keep out of range of her foe.

"Great fireball jutsu!" The unicorn called out as he shot a large fireball at Trixie but Trixie had trained extensively with her props and was able to dodged the attack. This was the problem with Trixie's hat. It was a powerful weapon as she had her own armory at her beck and call at all times including heavy artillery. But she couldn't just reach in and grab it on the spot. She needed to wait for her assistants to go get the weapon she needs and bring it over. Not so bad for things they can carry easily but when the heavy machines get involved she needs to wait for the foxes to move them to where they need to be, prep them to fire and load them. As such Trixie is forced to improvise between heavy duty props. So using her skills if controlling a large number of things at once from the elemental puppets training she quickly grabbed the card blades that were stuck in the walls.

"Pick a card! Any card!" Trixie calls out as all of the cards begin to spin like buzz-saws and fly at the unicorn all at once.

"I'll take this one." The unicorn said as he flipped through the air dodging the wave of cards while grabbing one mid jump and throwing it back at Trixie.

"EEK!" Trixie shrieked as she narrowly avoided the card by boosting the magic she was sending into her horseshoes making her shoot up and almost hit the rafters before falling back down to her hoovering height.

"Phoenix flower jutsu" The unicorn called out as he fired off a large number of tiny fireballs spread out in place of one big one. With a squeak Trixie created a barrier to protect herself from the countless weak attacks.

"You want to compete with the great and powerful Trixie in fireworks?" Trixie shouted and she dipped into the magic in her amulet and created several large fireballs of different colours that sparkled like the ends of sparklers. She then dropped her shield and let them fly forcing the unicorn to retreat back as Trixie's festive fire balls exploded against the ground in festive lights.

As Trixie was using the opportunity to gain some more distance she heard a ding, signaling that her attack is ready. Removing her hat she aimed it at the one eyed unicorn.

"Jackpot winner!" Trixie shouted. This wasn't only the signal to let the foxes know that she was ready to open fire but a warning for nearby allies. Instantly Vinyl disengaged from the earth pony by teleporting away. Next thing the green beast knew his opponent was up in the rafters using her two floating dragon heads as a shield. As for the unicorn he was extra weary now as he saw three large crystal balls with golden sevens all over the outside of it. With his well trained eye he thought he could see runes inside but was unable to see what they were.

Once the balls went flying Trixie continued to move away as fast as her horseshoes would let her while dipping into her amulet again to create a powerful barrier. The first effect of the ball activated creating the sound of slot machines ringing the sound of a jackpot. Then the second effect activated, the create gold spell. And finally the third effect which was a powerful kinetic force which sent the conjured coins flying in all directions like bullets.

Realizing that there was no way for him to avoid all of those coins the unicorn also tapped into is own mountain heart eye to create a powerful barrier for himself. Unfortunately for him he wasn't fast enough to go unscathed and as he waited in his bubble for the attack to end he was using his magic to pick gold coins out of his legs and torso. He was just counting himself lucky none hit his head or neck. The coins weren't flying fast enough to dig too deep but the fact they could sink into his flesh at all meant he couldn't let them hit his head or jugular.

Slowly, as everypony was waiting out the attack the balls began to shrink as the runes weren't just using the magic stored in the crystal for this effect but the magic that was used to conjure the crystal and the golden sevens. Once they were down to the size of golf balls all of the magic was used up all at once to shoot out three fireworks that shot up and exploded, each spelling the word winner!

"Guy! Are you okay?" The unicorn called out to his friend.

"That... was... most unyouthful." The green earth pony groaned. His earth pony endurance protected him from being made out of money but he was still covered in bruises and was bleeding lightly in places all over his body. His head and neck which he protected with his forelegs were the only places that weren't too badly damaged.

Before anypony could get their bearings the glow of Trixie's magic filled the room as all of the gold coins suddenly converged on one spot and quickly took on the form of a giant pony made out of gold coins. As it was taking form Trixie dived into it using it as makeshift mech.

"Behold! Jackpot Trixie!" The showmare proudly proclaimed the name of this form.

"I must admit, most members of our forces would have a hard time against that form." The unicorn said as he takes a moment to glance at his partner who was back to fighting the vampire and was not doing so well in his current condition. Not only that but the vampire was taking advantage of Guy's bleeding state to feed, making her not only stronger but also healing any damage Guy did to her.

"But I'm not them." He said as he lifted one leg and magic from his mountain heart eye traveled down his leg and into his horseshoe which then began to spark violently with electricity. "Chidori!" With that shout he leapt up at the approaching giant and struck at its chest. The room was filled with Trixie's screams as the electricity arched across the golden puppet before it began to collapse.

"Gold, is an excellent conductor for electricity." He said as he landed. His attention was quickly grabbed by a groan as a dazed Trixie crawled out of the gold. Seeing an opportunity to finish the fight the unicorn quickly teleported behind the mare to use his most devastating attack.

"One thousand years of death!" 'Squish'. Trixie stood frozen in the immense pain of having two hooves shoved right up the puckered center of her behind before she felt her colon suddenly inflate with pressure before she was launched like a bottle rocket, screaming until she collided with the wall.

"Hold on Guy, I'm coming!" The unicorn shouted as he ran over to back up his friend. Now faced with two opponents, Vinyl brought out her gaster blasters, flying them around while shooting at the two while fighting and teleporting. Unfortunately Vinyl's style is best for fighting high powered individuals one on one and both of her opponents were fast and worked together like a well oiled machine. When she was up in the air after dodging an attack from the unicorn she was grabbed from behind by the green beast who began to spend both of them around at insane speeds head first towards the ground.

"Primary lotus!" The earthpony cried out as they spiraled towards the floor but at the last moment Vinyl teleported to safety causing Guy to take the header into the floor himself knocking him out. When Vinyl reappeared on the floor she was very dizzy and had a hard time standing as she tried to collect herself. This resulted in her not noticing the other pony moving in to attack her from behind. 'Squish'

"One thousand years of death!" Trixie cried out from behind the unicorn that was moments away from attacking Vinyl. With a look of agony he turned back to see Trixie glaring at him with a hatred that can only be given by a female that had just been violated. "Fireworks edition!" at this she lit the fuse on the huge bottle rocket now sticking out of his plot, sending him flying with a scream.

Groaning Trixie fell to the floor in pain, morning her poor posterior.

"You okay Trix?" Vinyl asked getting another groan from the showmare. "Man, you really saved my plot there." The groan was mixed with more pain and a little hatred this time. "But you really turned that guy into the butt of the joke."

"Shut up or Trixie will end you!"

(End Flashback.)

"...Fix...Trixie's...plot!" Trixie demanded. I focus on Trixie's backside and remove the tube before squeezing her colon to its right size and her sphincter back to normal before hitting it with several healing spells.

"It will still be sore for a while, even I can't insta heal everything and stretching damage is hard. But it will make a full recovery." Trixie decided that she will continue to take advantage of the liquid pain spell woven into the hospital bed and just leaned back into her pillow.

"Okay Cluck, you're up."

(Flashback.)

The mighty and proud griffin warrior stood ready to face whatever foe the darkness has sent in honorable combat. His keen eyes narrowing as a marble sized ball rolls in.

BANG!

The griffin cried out as the flashbang went off blinding and disorienting him. As he was stumbling back a chicken ran forward with a mini crowbar in his beak and with a mighty swing struck the griffin in the family jewels. When the griffin fell the Cluck grabbed the keys off of the griffin and started unlocking all of the doors. With a whimper the griffin tried to crawl away but was grasped in a powerful magical aura.

"Where do you think you're going?" Starlight Glimmer asked as she dragged him back.

"Bend to your ways or leave me to rot? Now it's time to kick your plot!" Zecora said angrily as she moved in and gave him a buck to his beak. As his beak throbbed in pain he realized that he was now naked as a pair of unicorn con-artists managed to disarm him with amazing skill.

As this was going down Cluck had found a new prison area with huge vault doors. He clucked as he saw that one of the doors had Rin's name on it but shook his head and moved to the only other door with a name on it. 'Holy Sword.' The end of his mission close at wing, he quickly unlocked the vault and waited through an unnecessarily elaborate unlocking mechanism.

"Excalibur! Excalibur!" A strange little white creature sang as he danced around swinging his cane. Cluck started clucking at the creature that this was a jail break but was quickly struck on the head with the cane.

"FOOL! The year was-" The creature started to say but was interrupted by Cluck clucking in indignation at the unwarranted attack, only to be struck again. "FOOL!" The creature tried to start his story once more only for the vault door to slam shut.

(End Flashback.)

"Why was Zecora there?" I asked. Cluck answered in a few clucks and I facepaw while Vinyl and Trixie facehoof.

"What did he say?" Celestia asked.

"He said they were trying to turn her away from her zebra heritage of using potion magic because it's dark, so that they can have her meet Sparkle and teach her and her friends not to discriminate against others because they're different." Trixie replies making Celestia face fault. Once she stood up again she just shook her head before speaking.

"As for the, er, mess. They noticed you saving the children and in that moment of confusion the spell that was keeping us out wavered and Luna, discord and I managed to get in. It took quite a bit of convincing to get them to accept that they had been tricked and that their attack was unwarranted." Celestia said before pointing to a giant mirror that was placed against the wall in front of my bead.

"Now you've been through a trying experience so you should relax, Luna and I got you a subscription to god TV so you can just rest." I tilt my head at this as I stare at her.

"...God TV?..." I ask incredulously.

"Yes, cable television for gods in the multiverse. I thought you already knew about it." Celestia said with confusion. "It's already linked to you. Just will it on." Turning back to the mirror and will it on, making the mirror show a gruesome scene and cries of a dying of a human woman.

"Woah! Look at that blood gush, and did you see that fetus spill out! Now that is how you sacrifice to an evil god, am I right June?" 'Click' Slowly we all turn to stare at Celestia who was looking extremely ill.

"It, um... uses its owner's aspects to narrow down channels for its user." Celestia explained. "Just, relax. You've earned it."

"Right... well I appreciate it but I should really deal with the paperwork. I want to see the report on the strike against the Goodlies." I say as I try to get up but Celestia pushes me back down.

"That won't be necessary, I can bring that report to you myself." Celestia said nervously. Alarm bells suddenly start ringing in my head at Celestia's bad acting. But why would she... no!

"Celestia... how much has the paperwork piled up?" I asked with dread. At hearing my question Celestia's head slumped in defeat before giving me a look of pity reserved for telling someone that a loved one had died.

"Well..."

Throughout the entire city of Alexandria that day everyone could have sworn they hear the crying of a child echoing throughout the city but no one could find the source.

(omake)

Vinyl watched as her green opponent did warm up exercises before the fight.

"If I can't defeat you in 10 minutes I'll run one hundred laps around Equestria on my fore hooves while juggling three boulders with my hind legs while wearing a too-too!" The green beast proclaimed.

"Why a too-too?" Vinyl had to ask.

"By adding a bit of humiliation in it will further motivate me to work harder to be even more youthful!" He replied.

"...You sure you don't just want to wear a too-too?" Vinyl asked in a deadpan.

"What?! No, why would you think that?" He asked nervously.

"Have you ever met the other goodlies?" Vinyl deadpanned.

"How dare you imply Guy sensei or any of the other heroes are anything but youthful!" A new voice rang out as foals charged into the room. Each one the same shade of green with giant eyebrows. Some looking real, some obviously fake like the black dyed cotton balls, and one even had live caterpillars that had been coated black glued over his eyes. Its wiggling making it look like he was constantly wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"... I feel sorry for whatever mare gave you that many kids." Vinyl said in a freaked out tone.

"LEES! What are you all doing here!?" Guy exclaimed, ignoring Vinyl's comment.

"We had to come to cheer you on Guy sensei! We had to lend you our youthfulness with shouts of encouragement!" One of the mini Guy's proclaimed.

"Oh my foolish foolish students. That was very foolish of you!" He shouted at them. "But so youthful!" Guy held out his forelegs in a hugging gesture. "Lees!"

"Guy sensei!" The green foals exclaimed all at once as they charged forward and buried Guy in a dog pile.

"Lees!" Came Guy's muffled cries.

"Guy sensei!"

"Lees!"

"Guy sensei!"

As the group continued to have their 'touching moment' the image of a sunset appeared behind the green pile while Vinyl lay on her back, her legs twitching like a dying roach.

"The sun! The sun!"

Do you just like the feeling of your sins crawling down your back?

View Online

Hunter narrowed his eyes from his hiding place in the Black Castle. It took a little while for him to get out of that dungeon he found himself in after the invasion through a black portal that took him to this place. Undoubtedly when he finds the others they will be impressed with his infiltration skills.


Flashback.


Hunter slashed the twenty-ninth goblin’s head off when he was covered by a large shadow and turned around to see a giant snake’s open mouth rushing at him before being swallowed.


End Flashback.


Yes… Infiltration skills. No one will ever know he was pooped out inside a cage in the dungeon… Shaking his head he kept moving only for one brush up against a large stone and he started hearing music in his head.

“That… that’s one of the songs left to us by the great Strong Heart.” He mumbled to himself. “Saria’s song?” He asked as he placed his hoof against it and couldn’t help quietly humming the melody.

A fanfare melody fills the air as the wind circling within the stone’s eye fades. The stallion’s attention is drawn by a wolf’s howl. He takes in a deep breath and looked around in a panic. Afraid that someone or something would be drawn to the sound so he hardly rushed to hide behind one of the black crystal pillars.

With a soft bright flash of light, a wolf appears in front of the stone. It looks around in confusion at where it’s summoner could be. The wolf is mostly red in color with a mix of shades fading into a grey-greenish. The furry creature appears to be wearing blue earrings. On its forehead, is a strange symbol no pony has ever seen. Narrowing his eyes Hunter cursed inside his head and looked for an escape. Fortunately for him, a distraction came from the sounds of groaning down the hall and he was able to escape down another path when the wolf looked away.
As the wolf focused down one hall he saw a shriveled, dark brown hand grasp the edge. The wolf seems to recognize what the handed belong to, making him growl threateningly. Just then a smiling skull like face with skin like beef jerky and glowing red eyes turned to look at the wolf making it freeze in place as the undead creature shuffled towards him.

The wolf’s eye is wide in surprise, only to suddenly shift in feral rage as it begins to struggle to get out of the stare’s magic. It was slow. Unlike the ReDeads he was used to, where the effect wore off all at once he was regaining his muscles bit by bit. Starting with slight twitches and now up to moving like he’s walking through molasses.

The wolf growls loudly in protest before attempting to bark out in distress for anyone or anypony who could hear him.

“What’s all the racket going on out there?” A voice called out. The wolf’s attention was drawn as he turned to the direction it was coming from, but the wolf quickly looks back at the ReDead, knowing it is still a threat and too close for his liking. At that moment he realized his mistake as the moment he looked at it, he was completely frozen again. Just then Vinyl Scratch came walking into the area.

“Hey there buddy, how did you get in here?” She asked as she walked up to the wolf. “I can’t understand you so you're not the bosses but no collar either. Leave the pup alone.” Vinyl said as she waved off the ReDead that groaned and turned around and walked away. “Come on buddy I know where you can get some yummy food and make lots of friends.” With that Vinyl laid a hoof on the wolf and the two were teleported to an underground kennel filled with black wolves with glowing white eyes. “Don’t worry you’ll be able to move again soon.” With a pat on his head, she teleported away again. The wolf could only stand there and growl as the others took turns sniffing his butt.

The wolf barked loudly in annoyance as he spun around to stare at them with a fierce growl. If he could talk, he would bark out ‘Back off!’

“Oh looks like someone is ready to find his place in the pack right now.” One of the black wolves barked in laughter. This got the attention of the others that stalked forward menacingly.

The wolves tried to gauge his strength by his smell but it was average to them, it smelled out of this world and very alienated, plus the most distinctive thing about him, is the smell of ponies. Wolf Link’s ears perk up when one of the black wolves moved toward him. Like a well-oiled machine, the pack of black wolves jumped at Link all at once from all around him. With unexpected speed, the wolf spun around, somehow damaging all the wolves around him knocking the ones in front back while the rest waited. The moment he stopped he was tackled from the side and felt a wolf bite down on the back of his neck. Not too hard as to them this was just to see where he stood in the pack. Link suddenly spun around again in an attempt knock it off of him, this was not his first fight and he’ll be damned if he shows any weakness to them, it would be an insult to everything he’s managed to survive.

On reflex, when the black wolf felt the wolf under him jerk away he bit down harder to get him to submit but once Link was in full spin the Black wolf was sent flying. His jaws snapping shut after scraping across, the new wolfs neck drawing blood. Link at this point was done messing around, thus he begins to growl anew as sparks are seen forming inside of his maw, he’s attempting to channel Din’s Fire into his fangs. The black wolves, seeing this spread out and readied for an attack. Link could see that the moment he attacked one others would take advantage of to attack him. The hylian turned wolf had to be creative with this as he suddenly hits the ground with his fangs, causing an explosion of fire to spread out at all the wolves around him. His teeth will be hurting a little. With a yelp, the black wolves backed off and bowed in submission.

“Okay okay, you win! Congrats you’re fourth in the pecking order.” One of the black wolves said. “But only because you have magic attacks.”

Link smirked at this, knowing that they have no idea what he can truly do, he can just picture the looks on their faces when he returns to human form. He won’t be able to do it until he leaps into the mind of whoever summoned him.

“Don’t get too cocky. I don’t know about mom but you stand no chance against the alpha or her second Sasha.” Another black wolf said with annoyance.

Link takes this moment to lay down, not even bothered by whoever held the position of Alpha, he just wants to find whoever brought him here. Link huffs at the thought that it might have been a misplaced summon.


“Finally all that paperwork is done,” I say to myself as me and Phantom Rin walks down the hall when I notice a stone necklace and a glowing pocket knife on the floor. “What’s this?” I ask as I poke the stone but frown when I get no message. With a shrug, I poke the knife next. Greetings. I'm Chara. If you are displaced and you need help, call me. I don't care if you're evil or good; I side with all displaced.

“Hmmmm, What do you say Phantom? Want to meet a new friend?” I ask my shadow and it just shrugs. “Yo Chara! I just got through a literal mountain of paperwork and I need some fun. Want to hang out?”

A portal soon opens in the ceiling “Goddamniiiiiiit!”” She screams before landing head first into the floor. After a short moment of her lying there, I check if she’s ok with my magic and seeing she’s fine I Summon a stick and start poking her with it.

With a groan, Chara slowly got up. She looks around before her eyes fell upon me. “Huh, that’s new. You got displaced as your Naruto character or something?” Chara asked.

“Um, no. Dungeon Keeper. I was also wearing a kitsune mask at the time sooo…” I just gesture to my fluffy body.

“Yeah, whatever. Whatcha need? Please tell me you need someone killed.” Chara said pleadingly.

“Nope. I’m bored and I found your token. Want to play with me?” I ask as my tails wag. At that moment my shadow peeled itself off the floor and tapped my shoulder. “Play with us?” I corrected.

“Sure, I got nothing better to do. And besides, mama sunbutt will just punish me when I get back.” Chara said with disgust coloring her voice.

“Oh? What did you do?” I asked curiously.

“What haven’t I done is the better question. Every time I get summoned and then return, if she senses anything evil on me, she’ll have a talk with me, or one of two things will happen.. Either spray me with poison joke or..” She paused as she shuddered. “The heated metal paddle..”

“Ohhh...And I’ve ascended into a goddess with darkness, forbidden knowledge, and undeath as aspects…” I say sheepishly. “Ya, my corruption will stand out like a swarm of angry dragons in an art gallery.”

Chara stares at me for a few seconds before throwing her hands into the air. “Welp, I’m fucked. And it's not the regular kind of fucked, I’m fucked with a twelve feet purple dildo sword.” Chara exclaimed, even though Chara knows Celestia wouldn’t really do that.

“Well, now I feel bad… Sooooo.” I wave one of my tails in front of my face changing it into a large toothy grin. “Want to go play with dead bodies? We can play mister potato head and mix and match parts then reanimate them!”

“You know what? You speak my kind of language, girl!” Chara said with a giddy smirk. With a maniacal laugh, I wrap one of my tails around her waist, lift her up and set her down on my back.

“To the cadaver lab!” I proclaim as I create a shadow portal and jump in. Once we’re on the other side I walk around showing my rider the chests in the room. “Gifts from my great nephew who became a space god. Each chest can hold infinite corpses and are labeled with what you can find in them. I harvest from any world I have worshipers. Go ahead and pick what you want to play with and my foxes will grab one.” I tell her as several foxes ran up to serve.

“Do you have an alicorn, a manticore, and a dragon?” Chara asked with a malicious smile

“Alicorn, no, and if I had one I would use it to make a Death Knight immediately but yes to the others,” I reply.

“Ok, manticore, unicorn and dragon then.” She suggested instead. I then turned and walked to the next room that was a Torture Chamber with a few pieces of lab equipment brought in. I sit down and let Chara slide down my back as two foxes dragged in two corpses and with a slapping sound the unicorn and manticore were placed on the spiked tables and other foxes brought in flesh carving tools.

“We’ll have to wait for my corpse collector to bring in the dragon as those are too big and heavy for my foxes. But we can start now on the others.” I tell my new playmate as I hold up a scalpel and bone saw.

“Well first thing we need to do is transfer whatever gives the Unicorn it's magic and horn to the Manticore because I want a fire-breathing magic using manticore!” Chara said with a giddy expression and letting out a slightly insane giggle.

“Oh? You want to keep it? I don’t mind as I get fresh corpses in everyday to become my toys but wouldn’t your mother break it the moment you got it home?” I asked.

Chara’s face falls almost immediately in realization. “You’re right, could I keep my pet here for when I come to visit?” Chara asked, giving her the puppy dog eyes.

“Awwww, sure you can kid.” I say as I mess her hair with a paw. “Now normally You would need the soul of a unicorn for its magic as that’s what gives them their magic. But I can hook up a mana battery instead. That way we only need the horn and some of the nervous system and brain. But as this won't be an intelligent undead without a soul we’ll need to make some premade spells carved in with runes so what are you looking for in that regards?” I ask as I take the scalpel and carefully start making incisions.

“I have a soul that you can use, but it may still be devoted to Nightmare Moon, you might need to fix that!” Chara says summoning up a soul in front of her tied up in her blue soul strings, it begins lashing out in anger, constantly yelling out “I WILL END YOU ALL!” I tilt my head and frown.

“I’m a strong believer in free will. I only take freedom from those that deserve it and I’ve never outright enslaved anyone.” I say disapprovingly. “I’ll give a soul the worst torment imaginable if they deserve it and may even feed him to one of my minions but I won't force him to serve you in the undead we’re making. If you want him as a pet I can put him in something that can't hurt anyone but I won’t take his will.”

“Well, this guy tried to kill my friend Blueblood and has already killed me once.” Chara said before suddenly going silent as something inside of her speaks to her. “Oh, apparently this poor bastard never had free will. Shadow just told me that he was brainwashed since birth..” Chara explained.

“And you just conveniently found out about this now?” I asked but looked down at the soul. “I’m not that good with mind magic. Aside from mental barriers I’ve never went past mediocre on anything in that field. But I do have a minion that’s an expert that should. Especially considered who you’re implying did it. NIGHTMARE! GET DOWN HERE!” I shout out and wait for a bit before the wraith like form of the parasitic being floated down.

Chara suddenly summons her True Shadow Knife and her Pocket Knife when she saw her mist form, both of her weapons glowing with pure hatred, she looks like she’s about to swing them.

“Swords of revealing light.” I say lazily and light swords fell around Chara locking her in place. “Calm down girl, I made this particular nightmare my bitch when she came after a dark artifact I had in my care. It took a while and giving her the ability to feel things other than hate and hunger but she works for me now.”

Chara’s glare of pure hatred turns to a look of sadistic glee as she listens on to Rin. “Oh, please tell me you recorded it or you can share your memories of it.” The nightmare shivered and looked disturbed at the idea of seeing that again.

“Well… Hey nightmare come here.” I say to her and she reluctantly came within range. “Remember it.” I tell her as I rest my paw on her head and create an illusionary bubble. The image shows my face when I still had a normal one as my jaws open wide and shoot forward and all I can see in the drool covered inside of my own mouth and the screams of the nightmare rang out as I began to chew. “Oh ya… I forgot I did that.” After sloshing the nightmare around and tasting it making pleasure sounds from the flavor there was a loud gulp as it shows the nightmare sliding down my throat and falling into my belly that was churning the raw chicken I had eaten earlier as the nightmare’s magic powers were slowly getting absorbed into me.

Chara begins laughing her ass off at the sight of this. ”Oh god, if I could cast the Patronus, this would be the memory I would use.” Chara said with glee.

“I’d make you an memory orb to take home but again, dark magic.” I say with a shrug. “Anyways she told me this ghost was brainwashed by one of yours. Can you fix it?” I ask the nightmare as the bubble popped. Happy to leave memory lane the nightmare flew up to the ghost and black tentacles shot out of her back and pierced the ghost’s ethereal head making him scream.

Charas smile only grows more sadistic as the ghost screams. After a short while the tendrils pulled back out of his head and into Nightmare’s back.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, MISTRESS!?” The cultist's soul screamed.

“Hmmmmm, were you unable to fix any brainwashing? Or was he never brainwashed to begin with?” I ask the Nightmare. She just floated over to me and touched my head to send me her thoughts. “I see… Well she was able to fix him in a way. The brainwashing is gone but it’s literally all he knows so there is nothing to change back from.” I say as I scratch my neck with a paw. “She did it, little ghost, because I told her to. I am the dark goddess she serves. So next time you’ll think twice before mouthing off to me.”

“Y-yes, mistress.” he said relentlessly.

“This has been the best day ever!” Chara cheered happily with a massive smile on her face.

“Now little worshiper of my servant the time has come to make a choice. One of my aspects is undeath so you may continue to serve as an undead. A type of flesh golem made from the parts of a manticore and a dragon as well as just enough unicorn to do magic. You will be serving directly under Chara when she has need of you and the rest of your time you will live in my Black Castle in the lap of luxury so long as you are obedient. Or you can choose judgement where I will view your entire life and see where your soul will go.” I tell him.

“Serve that filly?” The ghost asked in questioning as he looked over the kid, who currently had a shit-eating grin.

“Make no mistake your soul is mine either way. She would be second to me but as I have many servants it is unlikely that I will call on one that may be called on another that I have given permission. And should she misuse this privilege it will be taken. But the choice is yours and I am not so petty as to alter what would happen to you just by telling me no.” I reassure him.

The soul hesitated then sighed, he’s already bodiless at the moment and this fate is not as bad as being tortured by a shadow in Chara’s body. “Your wish is my command, mistress.” the spirit said. I smile and with a gentle wave of my tail free him of his bindings before pulling him into a hug. The effects of the undeath aspect kicked in and he completely relaxed and drifted off to sleep. I then placed him in a corner where he will stay dormant till his new body is done.

“Now,” I say as I begin to cut again and remove the top of the pony’s head. “Let’s get back to it.” With that the brain is placed in a jar and at that moment Table top, my corpse collector came in dragging the dragon corpse in his chains. Chara looked up at the towering hulk of an undead that was Table Top who she didn’t even reach his knees.

Chara squees at the site of the dragon with a huge smile on her face.


A few hours later.


The top of its head was a unicorn with the mouth of a dragon, it had dragon wings, it kept most of the manticore's body, it had the dragon’s tail but with the manticore’s stinger, it paws were replaced with dragon claws. It’s size was a little compact but it kept much of it’s dragon strength thanks to magic runes carved into its bones and using dragon muscle which I densened as much as I could while allowing it to be light enough to fly. She wanted it to breathe fire as well but I convinced her that fire + undead = cremation so we went with ice breath instead, which only took one dark ritual.

“Yay! Mr. Snugglekins is ready!” Chara cheers happily and starts hopping around. The dragon construct let out a soft groan in discomfort at Chara. I just snort as I grab her with a tail and pull her in.

“Now listen closely as I have a few rules for using him. No having him kill someone that isn’t bad enough to get the death sentence anyways or when there is no other choice. No using him to commit any unnecessary crimes. I am chaotic good alignment after all. And no cruelty to him. Nothing he did in the past is his fault and you know it.” I tell her.

“Awwww, You didn't leave me any loopholes that I could manipulate..” Chara said with a pout as she crossed her arms.

“He’s mine, so I’ll know whatever you do with him even if you do try and be clever and ‘misinterpret.’ and I’ll cut you off anyways.” I say with a shrug as the door opened and a dwarf walks in. “This is one of my followers as well. As I carved runes into the bones I walked him through making that ring so that it won’t have any dark magic in it. It’s used to summon him. Just make sure to send him back before mommy dearest can get to him.” I warn as the dwarf hands Chara the gold ring.

“Well, I better not bring him with me through the portals the first time. I always end up in Canterlot throne room for some reason.” Chara said grimacing

“Now, what do you say we go take him out for a test drive?” I say with a grin.

“Let's!” Chara said with an equally large grin


Meanwhile with Link.


The wolf of Link groans in annoyance as nothing is happening as of yet besides the wolf pack doing its usual thing of being an owned dog. Where was that one unicorn who claimed she’d get something to eat? The moment that door opens, he’s booking it the hell outta there, tripping the guard making him spill all the food on the floor.

Link’s eyes darted all over the place, trying to find a way outta here or at least locate whoever summoned him, test him or her, then return to his human form. So far all he could tell is that he’s underground and he could smell the undead everywhere. Just as he turned the corner he stopped when he saw a griffin in black armor carrying a leash in his beak. A leash attached to a very big deathclaw from the fallout games. Four to be exact. Link's’ eyes went wide in shock, wondering how the hell those things are even in Equestria, he’s beginning to think that perhaps someone has summoned him, only to be captured at the last second before he arrived at the scene. All he needs to do, is find whoever has his token and finally get answers for being here.

“What are you staring at, newbie?” The griffin asked as if expecting an intelligent answer from him. The deathclaw however had something else to say that needed his attention more.

“Food!” the monster cried as he reached for Link with its razor sharp claws faster than anything that big has any right to move.

Yiping in surprise, he dashes out of the way, leaps onto the wall, and pushes himself past the griffin. Link thinks this is going to be one of those days where everything just doesn’t go exactly as it's supposed to be.

“Hey!? What are you doing!? You don’t…” At this the griffin stopped. “You don’t try to eat anything bound to the dungeon heart. Hey, we got a stray on the loose!” The griffin shouted loudly.

Link bounded around the corner as he sniffed the air, silently cursing to himself at the multiple colored scent trials that riddle this place. His ears soon twitched at the sound of several boots hitting ground behind him and turning his head he saw that he was being chased by a large number of skeleton soldiers led by a minotaur in black armor.

“Get back here you mutt! I don't wanna hurt you, I’m just going to take you where there is food!” He shouts out to Link.

Link moved his neck to look at the minotaur and give a bark warning, he turns his attention to where he’s going, just trying to get away. At the moment, Link was getting a little annoyed.

“Hurry and catch him! He’s not bound to the heart so if he runs into any of the traps he’ll set them off!” Someone else shouted.

“Don’t worry! As long as he keeps going straight he’ll meet a dead end at the dragon’s lava pool!” Another shouted. “And Crocodile went for his tranquilizer gun!”

Upon hearing about traps, Link suddenly skid to a halt then turned to look for the one called Crocodile. Link’s mind was racing, trying to think of anything that could help him out, otherwise he’s more of a mouse lost in a maze, if only there was a way to communicate with them, to prove he’s got some form of intelligence. Link raises his head as blue energy began to gather in his maw, suddenly he quickly swallows it. Slowly, a weird diamond barrier appeared around his body.

“Ummmm...What?” One of the black knights asked when he saw this. He then came up and knocked on the barrier before having the bright idea of trying to punch through it. “Oh &^%#^! That hurt!” He cried as he backed off.

“Ummm, what do we do now?” Asked another black knight.

“Surround him so he can’t run off again...And someone go get Wrath. If it’s smart enough to cast a spell, she should be able to talk to it.” A dragon answered.

Upon hearing that, Link sat down and nodded to the dragon in acknowledgement. It was a lot better plan than running around aimless and risk finding something that can take him down. After all, Link is very limited in wolf form when he can hold a bow or swing a ball and chain. His barrier continued to hum around him. After a while of sitting, Link saw the circle break open to allow something through and another black wolf came through though this one was as big as a full grown horse. She came up to the barrier and poked at it.

“Hello there. My name is Wrath, the mother of the shadow wolves. I’m here to talk. What are you doing in here?” She asked.

Link couldn’t really answer her with his current vocal cords, he growls out a word as a test before speaking his mind to see which way Wrath would speak to him, either through telepathy, or translating a wolf’s tongue into english. “My name is Link and I was summoned here through my wolf howling stone token.” He explained mentally. Wraith frowned at this.

“Your K9 is so garbled, I can’t really understand you. But I think I might have heard token in there. Are you a displaced?” She asked. The wolf nodded, then he sways his neck to make his necklace swing. It was a stone with a single eye in the middle that was swirling with wind magic, anyone who looked at it would hear a song.

“I see, The mistress is entertaining a guest at the moment. A rather disturbed looking girl with a knife named Chara. But under the circumstances I’m sure she won’t mind another drop in. You can come from the shield now and please follow me. It’s alright everyone.” She called out and despite clearly talking like any other wolf everyone apparently understood what she was saying and left.

With a deep sigh, the barrier blinks before fading. His ears perked out at the mention of Chara, he let out another sigh. “Her token must of appeared the same time as mine, although that doesn’t explain why we arrived in two different places.” Link thought. He follows after the black wolf, keeping wary of everything.

“Okay, we’re coming to the shifting maze little one. Bite my tail and don't let go till we’re outside because if you’re not one of us the magic defenses of the walls will keep them shifting to keep you lost.” She warned. Link gave Wrath a look at the comment as if he’s a pup. “I guess wolf ages are different compared to a humans.” Link commented in his mind, he made his way behind the black wolf’s tail and bites onto her, it felt really awkward to him.

It didn’t take long before they found themselves in a cave with daylight pouring in and once outside he saw that they were in some kind of rain forest and on top of a hill was a black, nine tailed fox looking up at the sky where he saw an excited Chara flying on the back of...well he didn’t know what it was but it looked freeky.

“Mistress! I brought the displaced pup!” Wraith called out getting the fox’s attention.

“Oh good, bring him over.” The fox replied in english.

Link growled in minor annoyance at being called a pup but that was ignored. Once he got up to the black fox he saw that she appeared to be wearing a white mask and had no eyes. Instead she had empty sockets with small blue flames that acted as pupils. Moving to show where she was looking. Link then felt a gentle brushing against his mind as if asking to be let in.The wolf blinked before slowly allowing his mind to open. The pressure of a mental presence reminded him of a certain book series he used to read back before he was displaced.

“Hello, my name is Rin. What is your name?” My voice rang in The wolf’s head. The red, green, and grey wolf frowned when he didn’t see his token around the fox’s neck.

“My name is Link.” He answered.

“I understand you’ve been staying with some of my other loyal pets then had a nice run through my dungeon. Just barely missing a few lightning and lava pit traps that you didn’t even notice. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I was summoned here, although perhaps by accident. Someone has sang to my token, but when I arrived, no one was there..” Link explained mentally. I tilt my head and look down at the necklace Link had.

“Oh so that was a token. I saw a necklace that looked like it was made by the same artist on the floor next to Chara’s knife.” I say with a nod. “Can you really not talk any other way than mind chat?”

“No. I made my token to where if anyone summons me, I end up in this form since the token is based on the howling stones. The only way I can return back to normal is to leap into the mind of whoever summoned me, I give them a small test to see if they’re good or evil.” Link said via the mindlink before tilting his head in distrust. “Any reason why you’ve got an army of the undead at your command?”

“Do you know what dungeon keeper is?” I ask him.

“Only one I know of is an old windows 95 game back in my world. I’m assuming you gained the power of that?” Link asked.

“Yes, and it came with this little side effect. I literally can’t use any kind of magic other than dark magic. I took a particular shine to necromancy for its healing applications and the free minions. Also at some point I ascended and one of my aspects is undeath.” I say with a shrug.

Link deep a nervous breath when I mentioned undeath. “I don’t know your Equestria enough to judge you nor do I want to bring harm to you if you’ve become Chara’s friend.” Link explained.

“Don’t worry. I’m also immune to the corrupting effects of dark magic so I’m chaotic good alignment.” I say happily.

Link went silent for a moment as he pondered. “Could you do me a favor? I would like for you to ask all of your minions if any of them accidentally sang to my token.” Link asked. I look up and use my link to project the question but I didn’t get an answer.

“No, I just asked them and got no response so not them. It was at the Black Castle in my city so it must have been one of my followers that live there...the hundreds of followers, many of which hum random songs they’ve never heard before all the time thanks to the magic of Equestria that makes people break out into musical numbers…” I reply with a face paw.

“Wait” Link said with realization. “You said you saw my token, do you have it?” he asked. As a response it dropped out of the sky between us.

“I left it on the floor but I can use the hand of evil to move objects around so long as it’s in my territory.” I answer.

Good, hold it front of mine.” Link said as he sat down straight and presenting his necklace token. I just pick the thing up and hold it.

Both of the tokens started humming in random melody before finally syncing up with each other. Soon, both of them were singing the song of storms to accept that I am the summoner.

“There, now. If you don’t mind, I need to leap into your head for just a moment.” Link explained.

“Wup, hold on a sec let me take down my mental barriers. Would probably be like running head first into a brick wall...Okay it’s safe.” I reply.

Link takes a few steps, then takes a glance around to make sure no one is watching, he doesn't need the minions panicking if they saw a wolf suddenly phase into their mistress’s head. With a mighty leap, Link entered my head, causing a brief flash. Suddenly, I was standing high above the clouds over Equestria.

There in the middle, was the wolf sitting and panting. With a howl, there is another brief flash. There in it’s was a man garbed in green and wearing a red cloak and hood. He lowers the hoof to reveal a thirty seven year old man with long pointed ears and yellow hair, he’s got some facial hair on his face, mostly a stache and a short goatee that had a rough trim. Despite the change, his blue eyes still held the feral courage of the wolf. “I’m glad to get out of that.” Link said with a relieved sigh.

“Ya, you didn’t exactly think that one through did you? What would you do if both your summoner and token were lost?” I ask in a deadpan.

“Hey, it’s the first it happened. I’ll need to modify it a bit to allow only Displaced to summon me.” Link said with a raised leather gauntlet hand.

“Oh, Vinyl told me you saw one of my ReDeads. Have you ever seen a ReDead before? How did I do? I tried to emulate it as best as I could but I don’t know how to make a paralyzing scream. I had to substitute cockatrice eyes. To weak to petrify after death but they can still paralyze you for a short time if you make eye contact.” I say excitedly as I bounce up and down.

“Thanks for the info.” Link said with a sigh, he looks at me as his eyes gleamed for a moment, but I didn’t know what it meant.

Name: Rin
Level: 30
Class: Wizard 20 - Rogue 5 - goddess 5
Race: Kitsune
Alignment: Chaotic good


STRENGTH: 13
DEXTERITY: 19
CONSTITUTION: 10
INTELLIGENCE: 60
WISDOM: 20
CHARISMA: 25


Trickster.
Through years of experience in the art of deception you have become a master of lies.
Bluff skill + 20
Haggle skill +20
Diplomacy skill +20
Intimidation skill +20


Prankster!
You have a love of laughter and pranks and have grown in skill as you play.
Hide skill +20
Move Silently skill +20
Trap Making skill +30


Creature of Darkness
You have become one with the darkness and you revel in it. You no longer suffer any negative effects from dark magic. However you can now only use dark magic and attempting to cast a spell meant solely for a different kind of magic will result in a different effect or no effect at all.
Dark magic spells cost -10% mana
Dark magic spells do 20% more damage and last twice as long.


Heart of Power!
Your dungeon hearts feed on the magic of the land you've claimed to power your rooms and power you. Your mana recovery rate increases by 100% when you have a dungeon heart active.


One with the Earth.
Being a keeper gives you a strong connection to the earth allowing you to sense what is buried within a certain range of you or your territory.


Necromancer Epic
You have progressed in your skills in the art of Necromancy. This feat can be taken multiple times to increase its rank.
Necromancy spells cost 50% less mana to cast.
Necromancy damaging spells do x4 damage.
Necromancy healing spells do x3 healing.
+ 13 to the required number needed to resist your necromancy spells.
Undead normally immune to command undead spells such as vampires can now be affected by command undead spells.


Corpse Artist.
Flesh and bone are yours to mold like clay allowing you to create unique undead creatures. (Needs Necromancer Master or higher.)


Death Doctor.
Through intense training and knowledge of the way the body works you have pushed the life part of command over life and death.
+ 30 to your healing skill when using a necromancy spell to heal.


Curse Weaver.
You have studies the art of curses thoroughly and and practiced it enough to know how to make it cling.
When a creature you've cursed makes a saving throw to resist a curse you've placed on them the roll only counts for half the number the dice landed on rounded up.
Curses you place last twice as long.


Link had a minor headache at the sudden barrage of information that entered his mind, he was so used things being done in different kind of mechanic. “Jeez, you’ve been busy..” Link commented.

“How rude.” I say with a huff as I take the floating window with my information away and look at it. “I let you into my mind to help you and without even asking you just start rummaging through my private information.”

“Sorry, I was expecting basic information, not a history lesson.” Link said as he rubbed his head. “I’m gonna need to have a talk with The Batter about why the Wide Angle ability did that.” Link said as he looked around the mindscape. The clouds were long gone and now they were sitting in a giant play room filled with toys and theme park rides but there was also the occasional tombstone sticking out of the carpet. He noticed that they were sitting on giant Celestia and Luna plushies.

“That’s a first..” Link commented as he looked toward me. “I think i’ve invaded enough as it is..” Link said with a nervous tone of voice. “I mean I didn’t cause this..” He said as he waved a hand at the sudden change in the mindscape.

“No this is my mindscape. It’s the environment I’m most comfortable in. My happy place.” I reply.

“But why show me this? I mean we can leave it now and return to the outside, I completed the my token’s magic and I can be in human form outside of here…” Link explained.

“I didn’t. We came here when you named my, for lack of a better word, character sheet. Oh, by the way… You know how in the zelda games if you anger a chicken they make you pay big time? Did you ever deal with that in real life?” I asked him.

“No, I don’t think they exist in my Equestria, but if they did, I wouldn’t even dare to touch them. Plus one of them might be like the ones from Twilight Princess where you suddenly take control of the chicken’s body.” Link explained.
“Well...Good luck then.” I say and before he could ask me what I mean, I kick him out and we're back in the real world and the first thing he sees is a pissed Cluck Norris as he flies into Link’s face, pecking him on the nose before kicking him on the chin knocking Links head up while launching himself down. Pulling wire out of his utility belt Cluck quickly tied up Link’s feet, kicked the inside of his knee knocking Link on his back and fast as lightning had a tiny, chicken sized blade up against Link’s throat.

“Link meet Cluck Norris...I’d be careful around chickens in this world if I were you.” I say in amusement.

“Kind of late for the warning.” Link said with a groan, he didn’t try to move at all since the blade was against his throat. Just to add to my amusement as payback for his snooping earlier I create an illusionary sound. A sound like there are thousands of chickens in the far of distance getting closer.

Link remained emotionless as he heard the millions of clucks coming closer.

“That’s enough Cluck you can let him go now.” I say. Cluck moves away from Link’s throat but gives him a glare that dared Link to start shit before moving to Link’s legs and removing the wire.

“Not the roughest I’ve been in, but good ambush tactic.” Link commented, getting up once the wire was removed.

“He’s one of my Epics.” A say proudly and Cluck puffs up his chest. “And you're lucky he didn’t use his lightsaber. That would have left burn marks.”

Link stared at me in disbelief. “And you’ve been here how long??” He asked as he shook his head. “How many Displaced did you meet? I mean you’re beyond the original.”

“Well let’s see there was Dr. Doom, Asphyxias, Aylmer, but I killed him because he was eating pony’s brains. Two star wars displaced, Oh, I was once randomly invited to a displace Halloween party so that place was full of them. A power ranger displace, before I became a goddess I got drunk and went on a drunken rampage across the multiverse. And I should probably mention that my Celestia created a law that said I’m not aloud to get drunk for a good reason. A dark magician and Dark magician girl, Pegasus from Yugioh, Majin Buu, Oh get this! Did you know that ponies get displaced to human worlds? I met a Twilight that got displaced to this sci-fi world where humans fought against these monsters!” I rambled on.

“By Din’s fiery wrath…” Link commented with his mouth hanging out, he looked a little discouraged. “I’ve been very.. Sparingly with worlds I go into. Mostly because…” Link said as he looked over at Chara who was still having the time of her life. “I know I’m capable of dying, I’ve already had one hell of time when the Twinrovas trapped me in the Gap Between Dimensions, I would of been dead if Iron Ash hadn’t been there to fight alongside me.” Link explained. Even with the Triforce of Courage that allowed him to fight on, he didn’t like the concept of death.

“I understand. The threat of evil displaced are a real thing. That’s why I’m a plotter. I’ve gotten into the habit of coming up with plans of taking down any and all displaced I even hear of just in case. In fact I’ve already thought up seventy two ways to cripple or kill you before you asked if I had your token under the assumption you had the ability and items of every link in every game. With almost no room for error as most of them are made to cover the failure of others.” I say with a friendly smile.

“Sorry that I couldn’t live up to your expectations, but I only have access to four Links. “ He held up a hand. “So far of the seventeen years of being a Displaced, I’ve used equipment from Ocarina Of Time, Majora’s Mask, A Link to the past, Twilight Princess. I had to get through most of my battles through trial and error or get creative with my equipment.” Link explained.

“One hundred and seventeen.” I say happily.

“I don’t attack every displaced I come across unless they’re a determined to kill me.” Link explained

“Oh, you don’t want that trust me. You will never get a straight fight from me. I’m a trickster and great one at that. I would cheat like there is no tomorrow.. .Unless it’s made a game. One of my aspects is games and now I can’t cheat in them. But then, neither can anyone else.” I say with a shrug. “I don’t want to fight you, I’m just stating a fact. You can never be too careful out there when for all you know the next Hitler can have all the powers of Superman.”

“Trickster. That little show you pulled would of tricked me if I didn’t have this triforce fueling me with courage. As for you being careful, you have the right to be, there are many displaced out there, some broken beyond reasoning while some have been given the worse fate. Chara here? She was given immortality, she
at all since she can just respawn. “ Link said then placed a hand to his chin.

“Nineteen. Immortality is a little limiting but workable.” I reply.

“Tch’. If only I could explain that to Chara. She’s too determined for her own good, thus she’ll fight till the enemy is dead, even if she can’t kill them.” Link said with a sigh.

“...I once fought a Juggernaut from X-Men. You know who that is? Mr. unstoppable?” I ask.

“Oh dear Farore, I can imagine how that went.” Link said with a chuckle.

“I made him bleed. Put a hole right through him with a powerful weapon I got from another displaced. When I did, he had the biggest look of incomprehension on his face. The idea that he could ever be harmed was beyond him. He asked me how and you know what I told him? I said you’re too reliant on your invulnerability. You never try to block or dodge anything, assuming that there are no exceptions to that rule. My point is that that is a bad mindset to get in. You need to get it through that child’s head that even she can die.” I say sadly.

“Only way for that to happen, is have her be summoned by a Displaced that can end her.” Link said before going silent, he reached up and rubbed his forehead. “Chara is a handful sometimes, especially for my world’s Celestia who treats everyone as her children, even if they weren’t born there.”

Chara soon comes riding up on her Undead abomination. “What’s up, Link, you like my new pet?” Chara said with a excited smile as she jumped off of the abomination of a mutant undead as it was sitting down.

Link said nothing.

“Link, you like the creation me and my new bestie made?” Chara asks again, hugging one of the tails of Rin.

“You do realize Celestia isn’t going to like the stench of the undead on you, right?” Link said as he crossed his arms and causing Chara space to fall in horrified realization.

“Well it’s nice to see that you have some concept of consequences despite what the pup here said.” I saw while patting Link on the head with one of my tails. “Maybe I can talk with her? She isn’t one of those ones that shoots first and asks questions later is she?”

“Uh.. Well, she would give you the benefit of the doubt, she wouldn’t attack you out of paranoia and she’ll see you as one of her children if you planned to live there or have a home away from home.” Link said.

“Well then maybe I can soften the blow that Chara’s tooshy will get by letting Celestia know that despite my dark power she wasn’t hanging out with evil doers raiding villages or using an undead army to wipe all life from the land.” I say with a shrug.

“Possibly. Celestia has quite the pure heart, she’ll be willing to listen, she knows all evil isn’t bad.” Link explained.

“Yeah take me for instance I've got a level of violence in the fucking 80s!” Chara says snuggling deeper into my fluffy tails.

“...You know I never heard anyone say not all evil is bad. Not all darkness yes but never evil. Then again I’ve found good uses for Horny and I’ve never met anyone more evil than that.” I say as my tails wrap around Chara and I place her back on my back. “Okay let’s go smooth things over. For obvious reasons we should leave your new friend behind Chara.” I say as I use my hand to send the mismatched undead to his new home.

“Awwwww..” Chara pouted. “But I like Mr. Fluffykins…” she said with puppy dog eyes.

“Before we go there, I think you need to end our tokens and then we’ll need to find your token in our world.

“But Link, she is a goddess, I think she could just teleport to another universe after placing a tracking spell on me!” Chara said as if it was obvious.

“That shouldn’t be hard. The thing gives an aura of darkness like you wouldn’t believe so any spell for finding dark magic will light the way like lighthouse.” I say dismissively.

“...You can go anywhere you want without a token?” Link asked with skepticism in his voice. “Even without the Void Dwellers doing anything?”

“I don’t use the void. I use shadow portals to go through the Shadow Realm. The inhabitants there won’t bother you unless your a creature of light. And even then if you pass through fast enough they ignore you.” I answer.

“Huh, I guess the Void Dwellers trust you enough..” Link said with a shrug.

“See Link? Anything is possible as a goddess!” Chara says excitedly.

“I do know a few eldritch being. Like good old _____________” I say seeing the two cringe in pain for a moment. “Whoops, sorry, sometimes I forget not everyone has taken the time to wean into their language so that you can talk to them and read their stuff. Your minds have probably already suppressed the name.”

“I guess the name is forbidden to speak to mortal ears.” Link said.

“But I’m not fucking mortal, I shouldn’t had cringed!” Chara said with annoyance in her voice.

Link sighed. “And this is how the parasitic nightmare moon poisoned your mind that one time, Chara. You got cocky and she got you.” Link pointed out.

Chara glared at Link with a grumpy expression on her face.

“Chara there are exceptions to every rule, especially with conflicting ones where the multiverse is involved. There are plenty of ways to kill even an immortal. I could do it right now, no resets and there are plenty of horrible people out there that can do the same.” I tell her.

[Chara feels her fears crawling down her back]

Chara shivers at that.

“Yea, like a Displaced Missingno.” Link randomly guessed. “I mean if a Merchant was insane enough to do that.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. Hell he gave me the disease spell from the first Dungeon Keeper game. It’s a spell that gives one target an incurable and extremely contagious, deadly disease.” I tell them.

“I’m glad I’m not on your enemy list.” Link said, it would of been said with fear but that Triforce tends to get in the way.

“I’ve never used it and never will. You can kill a kingdom with that spell alone and it won’t discriminate between soldier and child.” I say with a head shake. “My point is how insane would you have to be to give something like that spell to anyone?”

“So it’s pretty much a rather deadly double edged sword.” Link guessed.
Chara is being very quiet and is very afraid but only Link was able to tell thanks to him being around her for so long.

“Oh, it won't infect any of my minions and the undead are safe but even if I had a guarantee it would only infect the enemy… Well, I got a description of it in my head when the knowledge was forced into my brain. Uncontrollable and violent muscle spasms that tear the muscles apart, hypersensitivity, bleeding eyes, pre death decomposition constant vomiting the list goes on. It was designed to be as cruel as possible.” I answer.

“Yea-yea-yea, this has been fun.. Let’s get this over, I don’t want to be punished by Mama Sunbutt for being summoned.” Chara said with a mask of annoyance.

“Chara, Link, your contacts are complete.” I say aloud.

The moment those words were spoken, Link was encased in a blue crystal, it levitated his form slowly into the way before vanished in a flash of light.

Chara falls through the portal with a loud yelp.

Link had a soft landed back in Canterlot castles throne room, there is confusion on his face, he recalls being at the wooden cottages before being summoned.

Chara stumbles out of the portal and rolls onto the floor.

“Chara..” A gentle but slightly annoyed voice spoke out.

“It wasn’t my fault, honestly! I was summoned by a goddess this time.. And she wants to have a talk with you to keep me out of trouble..” Chara whines.

“A goddess?” Celestia said with a raised eyebrow.

“She’s the goddess of darkness, forbidden knowledge, games, undeath and elevator buttons.” Chara explained..

“Oh for my name’s sake.. Don’t tell me it's another Discord.” Celestia said with a hoof on her face as if an invisible headache forming.

“No, she’s a nine tailed fox.“ Chara said and beaming at her and pride.

“However.. I don’t like her… titles.” Celestia said questioningly. “I mean not the games and elevator… buttons?” She said, having no idea what it is but due to its unknown name, it sounds exactly what Discord would make up. “What has this.. Goddess done?”

“Oooh, nothing much, she in her equestria, are fighting some dumbasses that think that darkness means evil and any dark magic can’t be used for good.” Chara explained and looked thoroughly annoyed. Link leans against the closest tower.

“Reminds me of when Starswirl said that chaos magic can be used for good..” Celestia said as her eyes are filled with memories, then soon replaced with sadness. She shakes her head before looking at Chara.

“Before she comes, I think you need a good bath. You reek of death” Celestia said as Chara was levitated into the air, making Link smirk.

“What? No! Put me down you mad mare!” Chara protested as Celestia took her to the royal bathing room, Chara can hear Link laughing a little.

“Link, I know where you sleep, no… no.. NO, I can do this myse-” There was a sound of a loud splash.

“Honestly, Chara. I wish you wouldn’t do this sort of thing, necromancy tends to make me sick.” Celestia said as she washed Chara with a sponge in her telekinesis grip.

Chara stopped and looked down in guilt. “I-i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sick.“ Chara said, she sounded like she was on the verge of crying.

She takes a glance around and casts a detect life spell to make sure no one was near. “There’s a reason why I’ve been trying to make you into a good girl so that you can be in around me, I never told you this but whenever you bring up your past or show any level of violence, it tends to weaken my mortal form for a moment.. I never tell anypony this as there may be others who don’t agree with my ruling.” Celestia explained.

[Chara feels her sins crawling on her back]

The rest of the bath was done in silence. However, after she took Chara out, she had a pink dress levitated near her.

“No, no, fuck no, I am NOT wearing a dress, let alone a pink one.” Chara protested as she started looking for her other clothes.

“Well, you need to wear something while your clothes are being washed..” Celestia said.

“But why pink? And why a dress?” Chara whined.

“..Because most of the clothes here don’t fit your size or your shape, I had to modify this with alchemy magic, it was either that or try Rarity’s clothing and you know how hard she would try to make something that looks good on you.” Celestia pointed

“No, she would make something very girlish like that abomination in your magic!” Chara yelled.

“Is there a problem?” Link’s voice spoke from the other side of the bathroom door.

“No, nothing wrong, just Chara being her stubborn self.” Celestia said with a slightly sad sigh. She looks back at Chara and rolls her eyes. “While most of us have our… privates hidden in our fur, they won’t take it kindly in seeing you.” Celestia said as she started putting Chara in the dress.

“Noooooo, my reputation of badassery!” Chara protested.

“Not in this Canterlot.” Link said with a soft chuckle behind the door.

“But I am a badass, look at all the nobles trying to kill me.” Chara said as Celestia finished putting the dress on.

“That’s not being a badass, that’s being an idiot.” Link commented with a sigh. “But I guess our new friend might disagree with what I said.”

Chara is blushed with a red face.

“It’s ok to come in now.” Celestia said, allowing Link to come in. “Think of it this way, Chara. You might attract your special somepony.” he said jokingly.

Chara blushes even more, thinking about why didn’t she choose to be evil. “I’m pretty sure evil wouldn’t wear pink..” she mumbled.

Celestia went silent for a while. “...Chara.. If you decided to be evil, you would break my heart..” Celestia said.

“Good ears.” Link commented.

“I promise not to do anything intended to harm you in anyway.” Chara said, Celestia gave her a firm stare.

“Nor will you hurt any other Celestias unless they were evil as well, I don’t mind you slaying evil versions of me.” Celestia said.

“Ok, I promise I won’t harm any perfectly good versions of you.” Chara said.

“Not every Celestia is perfect, Chara, even if there is a tiny bit of bad in their life. Make sure you do a thorough background check, ok? I don’t need you coming home radiating of evil deeds.” Celestia said then gave a motherly glare. “I know what you’re trying to do, Chara. You’re trying to find a loophole.”

“I promise as long as I don’t see a level of violence on them. “ Chara said, making Celestia sigh.

“Just… use good judgement, not because an evil displaced told you so. Actually..” Celestia began as she levitating a ring over to Chara.

“Oooh, what’s this?” Chara asked.

“Just a small present, it's not much though, just a small ring that will tell the guards you’re under my protection and you can go anywhere you want.” Celestia with a gentle smile.

Chara then had a smile worthy of the Grinch, but a stern motherly glare from Celestia made her think twice.

Celestia suddenly drops it as she felt some a sudden shift in the air, Chara quickly catches the ring.

“..was that your friend I just felt slam into my universe?” Celestia asked.

“Yyyeaa, that sounds about right, she has the subtlety of a rampaging bull.” Chara said.

Celestia decides to walk out of the bathroom and into one of the balconies of Canterlot Castle, wondering where this disturbance could be. With a small thought, she allowed it through.

“Hello Celly!” I call out as I enter the palace through Celestia’s shadow. “Hey, where is Chara and Link? You’ll never guess what happened. Just a little bit ago while I was waiting for one of those two to call, a pony in this world used my token… This is the world of those two right? I can feel that Triforce piece.” With that I pull out my mini dungeon heart talisman I use as a token.

Chara is seen hiding behind a pillar while Link came into view.

“Ah, you mean this?” Celestia said as she levitated a copy of my token. “When Chara got home, I had set up a barrier. Once she gave me some answers and seeing that Link didn’t say anything bad about you, I decided to let you in. So welcome to Equestria.” Celestia said with a smile.

“That’s nice. I just wanted to talk to you because little Chara and Link were talking about punishment because she was in contact with me and I just wanted to make sure you knew she wasn’t doing anything evil.” I say as I pull out a plush toy. “Also this is the pony that summoned me… Thought you might want to meet him because he summoned me to make me summon up demons and monster to destroy you guys so that, and I quote, ‘Place the crown on a unicorn head where it belongs’. Guy even had an earth pony in a cage and tried to sell me that guys soul for my power.” I say as the dollified noble was shivering but otherwise trying to play dead.

“Oh for my name’s sakes.” Celestia said with a groan. “Probably more of those stupid cultists..” she said as a tiny spark was seen on her mane.

Chara is peaking from out from behind the pillar. Link is a little worried about the earth pony that was mentioned.

“That sounds about right. He’s not being as chatty as he was before.” I say as I squeeze him a few times making him give off a few squeeks. “But just so we’re clear this is the guy turned into a plush toy. He can move and talk I think he’s just playing dead out of fear.”

Chara breaks down laughing and falls out from behind the pillar at the sight of the noble squeaking like a chew toy.

“For a moment there, I thought that was one of those voodoo dolls much like the ones my sister Luna played with when we were young.” Celestia said as she moved closer to the doll. “Now, listen here. Nightmare moon is no longer around, only Luna. As long as she my sister remains, we will continue to share equality with us both, I will not shift the balance. Do I make myself clear?” Celestia said to the doll.

“You lie, solar tyrant, our goddess will return!” The doll said with a voice that sounded like if he was one of the chipmunks. Celestia’s eye twitched.

“Oh? Then I suppose you want Eternal Night, hmm? Allow nature to die off without my sun’s nutrition? Because that’s exactly that will happen, you and my little ponies will end up dead because of lack of food!” Celestia said angrily, then stopped herself to allow herself to calm down. Meanwhile Chara is laughing her butt off.

“H-he sounds like Alvin!” Chara said with a snicker and gasping for breath, she was holding her aching sides.

Link walked up to the doll. “Plus, even if she does managed to return, she’ll suffer the same fate as before, either being purified by the elements of harmony or burned away by my sword.”

“She will return, there is one piece left, even with all your attempts.” the doll said as it points a hoof at Chara’s shadow, making Celestia turn to look at her. Chara looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

“That may be true, however I believe she has a good control over it.” Celestia said, filing the info for later. Chara winces a little, I hear someone scream for Chara to get the buck out of there.

I look over at Chara’s shadow but I don’t say anything about it. “Well anyways, he will stay like this forever unless I either remove the curse or you blast him with the orbital friendship cannon. Considering he’s your little pony I’ll let you decide. Do I change him back or not.”

“Usually a good spanking would set my little ponies straight.” Celestia said as Chara cringed at the memory. “But I believe he’s too far gone as he blindly follows a dead cult. As much as it pains me, you may do as you wish with him, either you can somehow humble him and get this silly cultist nonsense out of his mind, or you could apply something more effective by your choice.” Celestia said as she looked at the doll with sad eyes, however the doll looked back with hatred.

“Humble? Well I have a daycare for my minions to drop off their kids. I bet being the plaything of drooling babies will be humbling.” I say thoughtfully.

“Oh dear Hylia..” Link said before chuckling in amuse.

“OUR GODDESS WILL END YOU, ALIEN!” The doll squak before having a passfier put into its mouth by Celestia.

“If you’re gonna throw a fit like a filly, you’re gonna be treat like one too.” Celestia said mockingly.

“You know, I would feel bad for you if I hadn’t my mind become a literal drumming kit for one of you.” Chara said, looking down at him with a neutral expression.

“...Let me show you something little toy.” I say as the ground splits open for one of my portals and I mentally call out through it. “I faced your goddess in my world when she came for a powerful and evil artifact in my care. And I made her my bitch!” At this a foreboding presence filled the air. Once Celestia knew well and she backed away from the portal with wide eyes. “She works for me now. Look, see for yourself and know that if yours is brought back and and even if she wanted to save you,” Nightmare’s dark form came forth and bowed her head to me. “Know that she can’t. And whatever happens to you from now till I deem you truly repentant is in my paws.”

“T-there’s more of my g-goddess?” The doll said in confusion. “...No, this is a false!” he said with a groan.

Suddenly, Chara’s shadow pops out from behind. “Hmph, I’m no longer yours to worship. Do you even know how much fear, pain and hatred my hosts bottled? It’s enough to last till the till the end of my eternal life, keheheha~”

Celestia give Shadow a glare, causing the weaker version of Nightmare to quickly hide.

Link groaned. “I still remember the nightmares she gave me in the past when she tried to control me.” Link said.

“W-what.. But.. all those years our cultist members tried to bring you back, all the fear we allowed.. All the nightmares we created j-just for you…” The doll said with disbelief.

“She’s just like my windigo Mr. Freeze. He serves me because I feed him. He forsook his old life because I was the easiest supply of negativity that wouldn’t run out. Nightmare only had one use for you and that was food. But now she has a better option.” I tell the doll as I beacon my Nightmare and embrace her. Using my power to feed her negativity to make her feel better.

“Back when Nightmare was in her full form, she was true to her name, a Nightmare, she grew strong with the fear of the dreamer, she was crazy and immature during our first encounter. The second time she came around, she had wised up but she was a lunatic, no pun intended toward your sister, Celestia.” Link said.

“No harm done, Link.” Celesta said.

The doll fell down onto his front hoofs, he looked so broken but had a little bit of defiance within him, the poor guy looked like he wanted to cry but couldn’t due to his current.

“The first time I fought her, she brought the only person I hate with all of my heart and soul. Second time we fought, we were more evenly matched, that is until she placed a curse on me, thinking that pain was hilarious.” Chara said with a shuddered while the Shadow giggled in amusement. “Shut up you..It’s not funny, it fucking hurt...” she said to her shadow, causing Celestia to glare at the shadow.

“Well looks like he’s already on the first step. But he’s still going to get it till he gets in.” I say as I let Nightmare go and reach into my portal and pull out one of the changeling, dragon hybrids from the daycare. “Hey there little stinker! Look at that little dolly over there! Go get it girl! Go get the dolly!” I say excitedly and placed the baby down. She then giggled happily and toddled after the doll who screamed and tried to run away but I used my magic to make him trip. Before he could get up the kid grabbed him with her forehooves. As anyone would do in this situation he panicked and started screaming for help. Screams that were quickly muffled when the baby crammed his head in her mouth and started using him as a pacifier.

Link couldn’t help but laugh, his didn’t last long as the little hybrid reminded him of someone.

“Help-help-heeelp!” The doll said, sounding nothing but muffling.

Chara is laughing to the side.

“Don’t worry. By this time she had just been fed so you’re safe.” I teased. Of course I made sure he was too big to swallow.

“So.. is there anything we can do for you before you go, Rin? I mean you’re a goddess, you must need temples everywhere.” Chara asks sarcastically

“Wha- Chara, I don’t think that’d be wise, the ponies might be offended by this.. I mean, the history they grew up and such… Not only that but such a temple might attract the wrong kind of attention..” Link said nervously before looking at me. “No offense…”

“None taken. I have almost no worshipers throughout the multiverse for undeath and darkness. Most of my worshipers follow me for my aspect of lost knowledge. Mostly wizards and historians. And lots of Twilights.” I say with a shrug as I pick up the baby and cradle it in my tails. “Though that last one is for my library filled with books from countless worlds. Bigger than all of Canterlot.” I say with pride.

With a bright flash of light, Twilight appeared. “Book.. senses.. Tingling!” The purple mare said as she looked straight at me.

“... AAaand here comes nerd-a-geddon..” Link said with a groan, causing Twilight to look at him.

“I told you not to call me that!” Twilight said annoyingly.

“Huh.. I didn’t know she had a book sense, did you know she had a book sense, Link? Cause I didn't know she had a book sense..” Chara asked.

“...Ya, I was just telling them as a goddess most of my worshipers focus on the aspect of lost knowledge and that I had a library where the first floor alone is bigger than Canterlot, palace included. Field with books from countless worlds and growing every day.” I tell Twilight.

“C-c-countless?” Twilight said with her eyes gleaming with interest, Link reaches out and pulls her away.

“Ok! No need to have a nerdgasm, Twilight.” Link said, earning a huff from Twilight.

“Oh yes. In fact an entire magic school, a floating castle, was moved to my world just to get close to that library. So it’s usually filled with magic enthusiasts and experts that often get into discussions on various fields of magic. Since they come from who knows how many worlds, most likely some you’ve never even heard of.”

At this moment Chara is looking between Twilight's back hoof. “Huh..There's no puddle here yet.” Chara said in confusion.

Twilight blushed furiously. “W-what? No!” she exclaimed in embarrassment, but her blush vanished when the fox goddess mentioned books of magic, it even earned a tiny bit of interest from Link.

“...Would you by chance have books from the Elder Scrolls universe?” Link asked.

“Chara, that was completely uncalled for.” Celestia said as she wiggled a spray bottle of blue liquid threateningly at Chara.

“No, but there isn’t an elder scrolls spell that exists, except for created ones that I don’t have a spell that does the same or better. Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder spells to. The magic casters of my city also like to gather and explore and invent new spells all the time.” I answer.

“The reason why I asked is that I can’t regenerate my magic until I either drink a potion or sleep. Oh, sure, there’s Zecora but it’d be nice to regain it back if I ever run out.” Link said.

“Hold on.” I say as I summon a crystal ball that shows a fox on it. Everyone couldn’t help but notice the towering book shelves that extend for as far as the eye can see. “Are there any books in right now for mana recovery?” I asked the fox.

“One moment mistress.” The fox replied and moves away from the orb.

The bookworm is staring and drooling at the sight of this.

“Down, Twilight, down..” Celestia said with a giggle.

“Mistress.” The fox said when she appeared on screen. "We have three thousand seven hundred and two books about mana recovery checked in at the moment ranging from meditation and alchemy to siphoning it from others while in combat. This of course only applies to the first floor.”

“The further up you go the more dangerous the knowledge so only the first floor is free for all. If you want anything from the higher floors you need to be tested to be sure you’re of the right mind to not misuse it.” I explained why it was only the first floor.

“It’s only for the sake of getting back my magic faster when I’m fighting for my life or protecting ponyville. Especially when I’m in my Fierce Deity Form.” Link explained. The foxed moved away again and came back with a book and held it up for them to see. The Art of Runes and Enchanting Items.

“This book has a chapter on making a ring that will suck in the mana in the air around its wearer and use it to replenish their reserves when they are less than full.” The fox replied.

“That sounds perfect. Anything you need me to do to get it? A test of trust or anything?” Link said with an excited smile on his face.

“No this book is safe enough to be on the first floor. Nothing here is meant to be particularly dangerous, requiring little power as the enchantments are beginner level. And if you botch the process all you get is a ring. The magic would just fizzle out. But you will need to come over and get a library card to check anything out.” The fox answered.

“I was hoping not to go back there..” Link said with a sigh. “But rules are rules after all.”

Meanwhile, Celestia had dragged Twilight out.

“Rules are placed for a reason. Some clever thief could fake a card over a communications orb or magic mirror.” The fox replied.

“Sounds like you need some kind of Detect spell if that happens again, I’d lend you my Lens Of Truth but it’s the only one i’ve got.” Link said.

“We do. But tell me, if you watched tv through your lens of truth, would you not be able to see what’s on the screen because it’s not real?” I ask him. “Will it’s magic reach across dimensions to check if what you see on the screen is true?”

“I don’t know as TVs don’t exist in this version of Equestria, but if I ever get the chance, i’ll be sure to test it.” Link said.

“Well that principle applies. Trying to check if something is real in another universe by seeing in on a screen doesn't work.” I reply. “If anything the orb or mirror would look blank because the image on it isn’t really there in front of you. Understand the problem there?”

“Understandable, it's like looking through a camera at a monitor and you see it flickering.” Link said as he thought about it.

“Anyways you don’t need to go back if that is all you want. We have tables enchanted with scribing spells that act as copy machines. You don’t need the book just the part that talks about that ring. You can get that delivered as it’s a first floor book. You just need to pay for the paper and ink for your copies.” I tell him.

“In bits or would you accept rupees? I’ve got both.” Link said as he opened up his side pouch.

“Gems are worthless in my world as anything but materials in crafting and spells.” I answer.

“Even if they tend to make a little note or a jingle?” Link said as he pulled out twenty bits in one hand and a red rupee in another. “Me and Chara are loaded with Bits due to my rupees being rare in this equestria.” Link said.

“Materials in a musical instrument then?” I say with a shrug. At that moment a fox popped out of the portal with a rolled up piece of paper and ran up to link.

“Five bits please” The fox said holding up a fox shaped piggy bank. Link deposits five bits into the bank then puts away the red rupee. The eyes of the fox glowed green and made a soft ding.

“I was honestly hoping to put the rupees to good use besides being exchanging the rupees for bits.” Link said.

“Thank you for your patronage.” The fox said as she gave Link his paper and quickly vanished back into the black pit.

“Problem is I can’t gage its value right now and I don’t want to cheat you.” I say as I look up. “Libraries shouldn’t cheat others, right?” Looking up they saw Twilight had snuck back in using magic to stick to the ceiling.

“Spider-pony.” Link said jokingly as he gently put the scroll into the pocket dimension of his pouch. “As for you cheating me, I highly doubt you could. After all, my rupees can only get bits, one green rupee gets me twenty bits.” Link explained.

“We can talk later or you can come over and talk trade as my city supplied rare materials for the many wizards living there.” I tell him.

Suddenly Rin is hug tackled by Twilight “Mine!” Twilight screams with that crazy look in her eyes.

Link mumbles something under his breath before picking her up and off of Rin. “Twilight….” Link said with an annoyed face and a sigh. “I know you love knowledge, but your friends are more important.” Link said with a cringe at what he said, he’s only saying it according to Chara’s explanation of the timeline.

“Man she’s already like this and I haven’t even gone into the fact that Starswirl the Bearded lives there to.” Rin said.

“H-he is!? Where!? Tell-me-tell-me-tell-me!” She said and flailed in Link’s hands, she was oblivious to what Link had said to her.

“By Farore’s wind, just go home, Twilight.” Link said with a groan.

“My city of Alexandria is in another dimension. Normally you can use one of my temples to go there whenever you want but apparently it wouldn’t be welcomed in this world. But Celestia has my token which can also be used to visit so maybe if you’re good she’ll let you go on a field trip.” I answer.

“Yay!” Twilight said in cheer before being turned around by Link to face him.

“But you must promise me something. Remember the multiverse theory I told you about? Don’t try to see Rin’s Twilight, otherwise they might get paranoid.” Link said, he would of mentioned the changelings but that event hasn’t happened yet.

“Oh that’s not an issue. I have many Twilight worshipers across the worlds so there are normally several Twilights in my library every day.” I say with a paw wave.

“I just don’t want anything screwy going wrong.” Link said. He would of pointed out that Chara prevented a few of Twilight’s friendship lessons, but he believes Twilight isn’t ready for future knowledge. I tilted her head to the side questioningly and brush my mind against his as I did when he was a wolf, asking to take a look. Link opened his mind up to me but a lot faster than before.

“Is that all you’re worried about? I’m sure Celestia can be convinced to have her wait. Besides the Twilights never talk about their lives there. Not even once, not with all of those books to talk about.” I say telepathically so no others can hear.

“It’s just her and the mane five are supposed to be the heroes of this world, but due to so many differences here compared to other equestrias, I had to step in and try to keep it from going too far from the original, i’d never forgive myself if anything were to happen to them, me and Chara already have our hands full because of the wild zelda monsters and the Twinrovas constantly trying to take us down.” Link said telepathically back.

“...Twilight, why don’t you go home and hang out with your friends. I’m sure they might like to hear about the stuff you’ve learned and I need to have a chat with Celestia and Link alone please.” I say to Twilight.

“Aww but I wanted to see your library..” Twilight said with a frown, but she nodded in acknowledgement. She suddenly flashes out of sight via her magic.

“Link… the show is one world in the multiverse. All of them have differences from different choices. A world where everyone’s gender is swapped, a world filled with superheroes and villains. This isn’t that show and I’ve seen the worlds of displaced that change things all the time and Twilight and her friends still save the day. Not because of changes in their environment but because it’s their nature to help those in need. If anything the monster attacks could very well drive them to be better. You don’t need to treat the timeline like it’s made of glass.” I say in exasperation.

Link reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Just being cautious, that’s all.” Link said in a slightly nervous tone of voice, he then moved his hand to his chin to think about my words. “I’ll trust your judgement.” Link said after a moment. “By the way, I know you’re some powerful dungeon keeper, but perhaps I could give you one of my masks? I mean most of them are useless and I have given a few away to Displaced I meet.”

“I can’t really think of one I’d want myself. Trixie has been wanting to learn size magic but mine has too great a mana cost for a unicorn. So maybe the giant's mask?” I say with a shrug.

“I can let you borrow the Giant’s mask, I’ve only used it once. A small warning though, the moment you put on the mask, it will start to drain your magic passively once you’ve grown to full size.” Link warned as he pulled out a weird shaman mask of stone.

“That’s fine. I can reverse engineer its magic to make more like I did with the beenades from that Terraria displaced.” I say as I summon ten golden grenades with black rings around it. “And made it into a spell to. Always fun to summon a swarm of angry wasps on the bad guys. Want a few?”

“Beenades? I’ve never played Terraria but I’m guessing they explode out bees?” Link guessed the obvious answer, but he sounded like he wanted to make sure. He reaches out and takes the Beenades before placing them in his pouch.

“Yes and then the bees actively seek out your enemies even if the beenade didn’t go off near them. Then they repeatedly sting them.” I answer.

Link laughed at that. “Like releasing a bee in Link to the past, but a whole a lot more.” he said with a smile, knowing he’s gonna have fun with those.

“My favorite spell so far. They move around any cover and crawl inside armor so there are few ways to defend against it.” I laugh as I take the giant’s mask. “Now Celestia, can I trust that you won’t punish Chara for being friends with me?” I ask.

“At first I was, but having listening to you for a while, I think I can trust you, you’ve been very well behaved since you arrived here.” Celestia said with a smile.

“That’s good to hear, I don’t like it when others are punished unjustly, especially when it’s my fault.” I say as I scratch the back on my head.

“There is something that bothers me and it’s the titles Chara has mentioned.. Why is it forbidden knowledge, Undeath and darkness?” Celestia asked.

“I was displaced as a dungeon keeper. Dungeon keeper is the original it’s good to be bad game. You play as an evil wizard that builds a dungeon and attracts bad people and monsters to be your minions. As such I can literally only use dark magic. There is no other choice for me.” I say with a shrug. “So when I ascended, darkness, forbidden knowledge, undeath and monsters were right there with lost knowledge, pranks, games and dark heroes.”

“Dark Heroes?” Celestia asked questioningly.

“...Batmain? You know, those that use the darkness to help others. Those that got cursed like vampires but instead of hurting others they use the power they get to save lives.” I answer. “Like Chara, she got a dark hand and she’s been using it to help ponies right?...Well okay she might be more of an anti-hero but do you understand what I mean?”

“Yes she has, although there have been times she started causing trouble for the nobles, I understand most of them are spoiled but it’s a work in progress in straightening them out. Thing is, they have killed Chara multiple times since she likes to point out their lies.” Celestia explained

“Ug, I know what you mean. My world’s version of your mother, my adopted sister, commission me to make a cursed quill so when they use it, the disembodied voice of Morgan Freeman narrates everything they do for days. It’s impossible to lie or keep secrets with it because the voice points it out. This was for the ponies trying to trick her to get power or bits. They did not like that at all. But it did let me get good at using the healing applications of necromancy to purge poison from the body.” I reply.

“Necromancy can heal?” Celestia asked in surprise. “That’s a new one.”

“It’s mostly medicinal in nature. In order to create undead one must have a strong understanding of how the body works. Killing curses can also be used to cure cancer. Masters can cast discriminating death spells over someone to kill specific things like diseases while leaving the host body alone. Mending flesh and bone is easy. It can keep someone alive, even when they should have died and take away pain so that they can be operated on and live on their own. Scan the body for what’s ailing it. A good necromancer is among the best doctors.” I answer.

Celestia was opened up to a whole new world. “And all my life of seeing it, I always thought it was bad, it would often not allow spirits to rest knowing that their body was being used for the wrong purposes.” She said before giving her a moment to think. “And what does your world’s Celestia’s mother say about the necromancy part, I mean when you built and reanimated something to life for Chara?” she said, it felt odd saying her own name as if it wasn't hers.

“Oh, she knew and didn’t care. Yes, I create undead all the time but I don't abuse it. Mostly they’re empty shells used for labor or law enforcement. Most who don’t know any better will preach about burial rights but I’ve spoken to the dead and they generally don’t care. The corpse is just trash the soul leaves behind. If you died and your remains can be used as a rescue worker in an environment that’s not safe for living beings or a shield that will take a killing blow that would have struck an innocent pony would you mind it not being buried?” I asked.

“In a way, it's like they’re sacrificing without needing to do it.” Celestia said then sighed when I got done explaining how it works. “And you haven’t gotten one angry spirit?”

“No, not one. I have ghosts but only ones that come and work for me of their own free will. If it’s a spirit that needs help crossing over I help them. There are other professions necromancers can do good in as well. There are worlds out there where necromancers are used to summon dead victims to catch killers or fix problems before anyone else can suffer from what killed them.” I tell her. “Don’t get me wrong, you can do horrible things with necromancy but if you think about it the same can be said for about any school of magic.”

“Thank you for explaining, I’m a lot more at ease now. You’ve given me a new enlightenment on what Necromancy can be used for, it’ll take me awhile to be comfortable with it. By the way, if it's not too much to ask. If you and Chara go build-a-corpse workshop again, be sure to remind her to clean up afterwards. The smell tends to make me sick sometimes, no offense.” Celestia said.

“Sorry, I’ve gone nose blind to the smell of death and decay a long time ago. But sure, I’ve found some creative ways to use some of my dungeon keeper abilities. Combining the lava trap with my ability to sense things underground like water allows me to create relaxing hot springs. I’m sure she won’t mind taking a bath in one of those. And if she does I can drag her in kicking and screaming.” I say jokingly.

“She hates baths and she’ll probably fight you tooth and nail just to avoid it,” Celestia said as she giggled softly. She still remembers the first time she gave Chara a bath, boy did she scream.

“Kicking and screaming it is. Don’t worry, my magical reserves are larger than yours and I used to babysit my worlds you and Lulu all the time. I think I can handle it.” I say with a laugh.

“You’ve got it a little easy, I can’t be in my goddess form without accidentally harming my little ponies. “ Celestia said, she looks toward the sky to check on the time, it's not quite time to lower the sun.

“Well, it's been fun but I should be heading back. It’s nap time.” I say as I gesture to the baby. The dollified pony still had his head trapped in her mouth and he was punching her in the face as hard as he could. But being a doll his body was now made of cloth and fluff stuffing so even then she was still drowsing off. Completely unbothered by the strikes.

“Alrighty, don’t be stranger if you ever want to come back. Will you be able to return home safely? ” Celestia asked

“Please don’t. I can use my dungeon heart as a beacon to get home on my own but if you force me back with the words I’ll be sucked in through my portal like it was a black hole and I'm carrying a baby right now.” I tell her.

“Oh? Who’s the lucky one?” Link asked jokingly as he got up from his sitting position, causing a few bones to pop. I give him the biggest deadpan as I hold the baby in front of his face. “Kidding, kidding.” Link said with a nervous chuckle. Ya, I’m not fooled.

“Oh and before I go. That pink dress Chara is wearing… Not really her.” I say as I use Inspiration Manifestation to create several pieces of clothes more suited to the tomboy.

“To be honest, it was all I had. Chara simply refuses to allow Rarity to make her any clothes, even when it's not a dress.” Celestia pointed out.

“Well now she had lots of pants, shirts, overalls and pretty much anything I can think of that fits her rough and tumble personality better. So now she has another choice than frilly or naked.” I say as I move to leave through my portal.

Link unfolds the scroll to take a good look at it. Seems simple enough. Just take a gold ring and carve this one rune into it while channeling magic into it. “Thanks again for the scroll.” Link said as he rolls it up and returns it to his pouch, he waves his hand with a happy smile, knowing that his battles will be a little bit easier.

“No need to thank me. You did pay for it.” I say as I use a tail to toss the token the cultist used to Link seeing as Celestia already had one that Chara can use and with that I and Nightmare vanish into the darkness and the portal closes, leaving the floor back in pristine condition as it was before it tore open.

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey.

View Online

I carefully climb out of the portal with the baby snuggled up in my tails and am confused as I see a light blue raptor with silverish white stripes running down its back.

"Trixie is a dinosaur." The raptor said to me before walking off.

"Umm... Okay?" I said to no one before shrugging it off and dropping the kid off with her siblings. I was about to walk off when I suddenly found myself in rubber boots and a rain jacket with slime all over the walls of my dungeon, foxes working overtime to clean the place up.

"What?" I ask aloud as I look around in confusion.

"We said we'll have the woopy goddess's mess cleaned up in a week or two." The fox told me. At that moment a flood of memories of something of a trip I never made yet happened anyways. I remember pranking Ava, having my DNA stolen. And BSing my way out of getting an unwanted upgrade by saying I level up and get stat points.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I groan from the info rush.

"Everyone keeps saying that." The fox said with a nod before joining the others in their work. Well I don't want to be here standing in Ava's... No, just no. So I make a portal and leave and come back out with a donkey.

"Thanks for coming back for me." The donkey said with a nod before walking off. This time the flood of memories aren't so bad.

"What is going on here!?" I shout.

"Me mee me, me, me me me." (We're reverse engineering the mirror shield like you asked us to do.) one of the Beaker puppets I made for the ghost mage researchers to inhabit replied.

"Not what I'm talking about!" I groan before I feel a hoof poking me in the side. Turning I see Starswirl examining me and he's alive. I tilt my head as he mumbles to himself.

"Jingles? You're alive?" I ask in bewilderment.

"Am I not supposed to be?" He asked me in concern.

"You're supposed to be a lich." I say matter of factually.

"Must be from the temporal flux." He said as he poked me again. I'll change back when it settles down.

"temporal? As in time?" I ask with shrinking eye flames.

"Yes, something connected to you must have altered or was altered by time. Don't worry it should work itself out... well that or we'll all be erased from time itself." He said offhandedly.

"Not making me feel any better." I say in annoyance.

"What?" Adagio, one of the siren sisters from the movie asked. Two of the three stayed in my world to join the adventurers guild while the dumb one stayed with Ax.

"Nothing you need to worry about, just some headache I need to deal with." I say with a groan. The sisters just give each other a look before shrugging and heading out of the black castle and to the adventurers guild. With a sigh I just plop my butt down and wait for the next jump. I figure I have no choice but to lower the safety bars and ride out this roller coaster. I just sit there and whistle to myself while reflecting on the things that I did despite not doing. I actually focus on that gamer BS I fed Bronze and Ava.

"Stats!... Inventory!... It was worth a shot." I sigh sadly at not getting that awesome power. Next thing I know I'm sitting in one of my ritual rooms. Once more I have memories of wanting dark angels and the Toon World token, that overheard me, hopped out and opened up to me. Despite being a jerk to me before. I remember face-pawing so hard when I realized how a self aware Yu-Gi-Oh token would view a goddess of monsters, darkness and games. This ritual is a slightly deluded version of the toon magic. One where a soul will inhabit a toon body instead of being materials to make it. As a trade off it doesn’t have that nothing but chaos magic can hurt it cheat.

"I watch as the large crystals filled with stockpiles of life force from the life clock were sucked into a piece of paper floating over Toon World and under a Pinkamena soul I hired from a Pinkie Pie bard in the adventurers guild in my city. The paper had a drawing I made showing a chibi, anthro Pinkamena. She wore what looked like black leather armor built like a one piece swimsuit with a black skirt. The breast were covered in cartoonish skulls. As a weapon it wielded a scythe with a handle that looked like it was once a spine that ended in another obviously fake skull with the blade coming out of its mouth. Her straight hair covered one eye while the other had blood red pupils and the whites of its eyes were black. And over her head was a black halo covered in blue flames. Once the life force has been completely absorbed by the picture the soul floated into it and the picture was sucked into Toon World. After doing its toon routine of sound effects and jumping around it spits out my brand spanking new dark angel.

I look around, waiting for another jump but nothing happens. With a shrug I equip my little angel with soul cages and I'm sitting on my throne now. At least by memory this last jump wasn't by much. Maybe that means they won't last much longer?

"Next on the list is a large number of complaints regarding crime in the city." One of the ghosts working for me reads off a list.

"There is a problem with crime in my city?" I asked.

"Yes, there isn't any. The thieves in the adventurers guild are concerned that they're being left behind by the other classes that have been progressing here. No one has the guts to try anything here. Not only for the fact that there isn't a time where there isn't a group of undead passing all roads and alleys and the giant wasps flying overhead. But the idea of making trouble in a city where a goddess lives is considered an act of stupidity." The ghost replied. My attention was drawn to a feeling of death and souls for a moment and I can feel them coming closer.

"Set up plans for a new section of the city to be built. It will be a place for them to live and stealing will be legal there but if they use that place they must keep their loot their as well. That should give them some place to practice stealing and defending their loot." I say without taking my eyes off the door. The ghost didn't say anything as he saw me focusing on the door which soon opens.

I must confess I'm a little baffled by this one. Clearly a Death from somewhere. A she, not just for the slender skeletal structure a female would have, but, and I kid you not, she has a pair of literal coconuts strapped to her chest.

"Where is your afterlife?" The reaper asked in annoyance.

"What?" I ask dumbly.

"Your afterlife! For your followers!" She yelled while gesturing to the large number of souls that had followed her here. "They're dead! Where do they go!?" I'm guessing she has been looking for a while.

"Oh, well... All of my followers get another go as an undead when they kick the bucket, so I... didn't think I'd need one this soon?" I reply sheepishly. The reaper just stood there, the dots in her eye sockets shrank to pinpricks and her body shaking a little.

...

...

...

This is so awkward...

"So... How did you guys die twice so fast?" The ghost asked.

"Our city was attacked by an army of orcs that have been plaguing our kingdom. After we died once we... well... played dead until the back lines on their forces where over us. Then we sprang up, killing all of their magic casters and a good number of their archers. By the time the surprise wore off and they killed us all again they were left with only front line fighters." The clear leader answered. "Well except for Jim. He died by choking on a chicken bone, then again when he was trying to sneak up behind an ogre and he got sat on." The leader gestured to one of the ghosts who was keeping his head down in shame.

"Some of us civilians did the same and killed a few ourselves. But eventually they figured out what was going on and just kept hitting anyone they kill till they made sure that no one was getting up again." A woman replied.

"You... idiot! What is it with you displaced gods and half assing it all the time!? Do you-" As the lady reaper rants on and screams profanities at me I'm thinking of a solution to this problem. I guess, seeing as one of my domains is undeath I could just tell her to leave them here. But something inside me objects to that.

The great thing about making video games with magic, when making them on a computer you need to explain everything to it in code. What is this? It's the ground. What happens when your character hits it? It stops falling. But with magic you just need to understand how it works and the physics work just fine. No chance of programing errors. And seeing how gems, for which I have an infinite supply, can hold way more than the paper the comics use, I have plenty of toys to share with my followers.

So looking through my toy box with my eye of evil I grab a board game with my hand and drop it into my paws. It's a strategy game that works with the same enchantments that go into the arcade games or the Fluffydome. A flat R.T.S. game with illusion enchantments. I turn the game on and set it to creation mode, set the map to paradise fields, then set a capitol city and activated all of the economics and public relations sections in the research tree. PR because it gives the citizens lots of luxuries and activities for the little people to increase popularity and economy to keep it all running. Thanks to the complex illusion magic woven it, they will be able to taste the food, feel the warmth of a cozy blanket. I wanted it to be as real as I could for anyone I put in the game. There are exceptions as this game was never meant to hold anyone long term. For example the library is empty.

I check everything over to make sure it's ready, the most vacation like map I've put in there, set in creation mode so no game characters are suddenly going to attack them, set them up with the best living conditions the game has to offer... Yep, I think it's ready.

"Alright my little ones come here. I have a temporary place for you to stay." I say, interrupting the reapers rant. The souls look uncertain after everything, but they realize they're mine now so they come forward and I activate the magic. The smoky portal from my games opens up and sucks in all of the souls. Once that's done the illusion magic makes its 3D projection, showing my new... pets? Best not call them that though. At least not in front of my girls.

I can see the souls looking around in awe before looking up at, what to them, must look like an impossibly huge fox. I just give them a wave before turning on the sky so they can't see me. After that some just start exploring while some have started claiming homes. I look over and see that the reaper is watching this as well before floating over and poking the board.

"Cheap but it will do. This will allow us to find it when we harvest the souls that belong to you." She death said before leaving. I just sigh and grow the board to giant size before creating a giant table next to my throne and placing my 'afterlife' on top of it and where am I now? I let out a sigh as I realize I just did a time jump again. Let's see... Oh sweet, new planet to play with! I never had a toy that big before!

Looking around I see crystal tanks with tiny creatures in it... That's right. After getting one world I started checking out other dying worlds. Daww they're so cute!... Even if they aren't moving. I actually take the time to look around at several Fluttershys that I've hired from the refugees. Each one frozen in a moment of caring for the shrunken creatures in their habitats.

"Hmmmmm... Well might as well look around." I say to myself as I walk around the ponies frozen in time. Once I'm in the next room I see shelves of what look like snow globes but are actually shrunken cities and monuments from dead worlds that I liked. Not all of them are just buildings though. I walk over to the ones placed on the red shelf and look closely at one. In the itty bitty ruins of a city, I can see itty bitty little dollified raiders that were also slavers and cannibals. Even for a fallout universe those guys were messed up... Actually I think I'll use this one as a paper weight. I try to pick the tiny city up but find that it won't budge. I groan before trying to move other things. Take someone's hat off, try pushing some paperwork onto the floor. Even tried to pick up a marker to doodle on the worker's faces.

"This is the most boring time hiccup ever!" I shout as I slump to the floor. I figure it shouldn't be too long before I make a jump again so I sit and wait it out. For some reason I can't help but think that that guy had something to do with this time headache.

Regardless, I wait... and wait... and wait. Eventually I start getting concerned that time stopping is preventing the time jumps, trapping me in these two rooms forever! Unable to escape the mighty unlocked door barring the way out. To my great relief I soon find myself in a new place, and more importantly, things are moving! Before I can cheer however I'm struck dumb at my current situation. I try to think back and figure out how I came to this point but all I'm getting is helping Pally give birth. Nothing to explain how I got here. Is time just giving me a freebee? I watch as the spinning rack moves the merchant's head out of the burning coals.

"Ready to talk?" I ask my displacer. With a groan of pain he nods his head but lets out a cry as his lower legs get a turn in the fire. "Now, why did you make me a chick!?" I demand once his feet are free. I honestly always wondered about that.

"I-I have a sex change fetish!" He screamed out.

"...What?" I deadpanned.

"You're one of many I jack off to every night!" The merchant admits with sobs. I allow the rack to dunk his head back into the coals and stopped its spinning, allowing his head to remain submerged for a while. Sometimes you look for answers to life's greatest mysteries only to get them and make you wish you never asked. Eventually, when I got tired of hearing his screams, which took a while, I let the rack get back to spinning. Once his head is above the coals again I move on to the next question.

"Alright now... What the Hell!?" I cry out in shock at suddenly finding Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight having an orgy in my bed while wearing costumes. Celestia was dressed as a banana, Luna as a turtle, Cadence as a lady bug and Twilight as a book. I create a portal and dump all of them in the frozen north.

"No no no no no! I can't unsee! I can't unsee!" I cry out in anguish. "Why time!? WHY?! What did I ever do to you!?" I need something to take my mind off of this. and once time stops playing hacky sack with my head I'll cast one of those D&D spells that use XP as a cost and exchange this moment! I look around my room and find a few crates filled with skulls of hate. That's right, I found those when I was making a connection here to my new domain of the death pantheon I just took over.

"Are you okay? You look distressed." I turn to see Trixie, back to being a pony, looking at me in concern.

"If you had to suffer through the torment I've just went through... You're very mind and soul would have been shattered." I reply.

"... All Trixie asked was if you liked bananas..." Trixie said in a deadpan, earning another groan at time rubbing salt into the wound. Mind off of it! Mind off of it! Super baby! Focus on the latest memory! I gave Cadence's rugrat a dog I got from my new domain. I just sat there trembling until I went through another shift.

"Aunty?" Celestia called out to me in concern.

Don't think about it, don't think about it! Pally's tournament! I wonder how that's going?

"Time really gave you quite a few bitch slaps didn't it?" Tatonya asked.

"Wait, you know?" I asked.

"Yes, we tracked it down to some spoiled brat of unknown gender and some sissy in a green tunic and a pointy hat that just gave up on life." Krass said with a snort. Chara and Link?

"Yes, and now that it's over we can get started. Please take your seat." Death said while gesturing to a throne next to his. It showed all of my aspects in some way. Books as the back with monsters carved into the sides. The arm rests were bones, ending in a pair of skulls with blood flowing from the eye sockets like tears while the bare holding the armrest up at the ends look like a stack of dice. As I walk over to take my seat I can't help but notice something.

"There are spikes sticking out of my seat..." I say as if making a off handed observation.

"Just take your seat so we can begin." Oceanus said in a bored manner.

"... There are spikes... sticking out of my seat." I reply slowly. I just get an annoyed look at that and I sigh, summon a very thick pillow to set on the spikes before sitting down myself.

Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

"..." Looking under my pillow I realize that the spikes were just little woopy cushions disguised as spikes. And there is the aspect of pranks. We all were served drinks by spectral beings as the meeting went underway.

"Now for our first order of business... The investigation of Harmony arranging an invasion of Celestias against a fellow member of this pantheon." Harmony's spit-take was so widespread that it created a rainbow.

The History of Hatred.

View Online

Darkness... gold... darkness... gold...

"Uh... what?" Kakashi groaned as he started to come to. As he was regaining his senses he saw tiles made entirely out of gold passing by beneath him. Looking up and taking in the surrounding he realized that this was the prison where all of his comrades were being kept. He also had to admit that this has got to be the brightest and shiniest prison he has ever seen. The prison cells were all made from beautiful gems that were expertly cut. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all solid gold with intricate detail.

"Are they all in their cells yet?"

Princess Celestia?

"Not yet."

Who?... Wait, that voice was in the recordings. The fox!

Kakashi turned his attention on the ones dragging him along. They looked like those plastic army ponies toys, only with a humanoid body and they were made of gold with ruby eyes. Though they were the least of his concerns. The way they were clutching his forelegs had them bent backwards in a place where there was no joints to bend. In fact they would bob up and down bonelessly without him feeling any pain. What really drove it home was the stitching running down his legs. He had heard of the fox's ability to turn others into toys. Concentrating, he tried to call on his magic to get away from the toy soldiers but he just couldn't.

Taijutsu it is then. Having steeled his resolve the copy of the copy ninja pulled up his lower body and brought a kick to the face of the right construct.

"..."

"That won't work trust me." One of the ponies in the crystal cells called out. "They're too hard and heavy while we're too soft and light. Believe me there isn't one of us who hasn't tried."

"Well, then how about..." Kakashi said as he tried to pull his forelegs together. But it was no use. This was driving him nuts. He knew these clunky things would be foals play if he could get loose. But so long as they held onto him he couldn't get away. Soon they came to an empty cell and he was prepared to escape the moment they let him go, but instead they entered the cell with him and the door was sealed shut by another construct outside. Once they were trapped the let him drop to the ground and walked to the golden wall in the back of the cell and set themselves into holes he didn't notice before. Holes that they fit into perfectly.

"If it makes you feel any better it's for the best we wait here to be rescued." The pony in the cell next to him said sadly. "Trust me, when you realize where we are, you'll know that nothing good can come from going out there on our own."

"What is wrong with you?!" Kakashi demanded. "We have been searching everywhere for you guys! To set you all free! And you're telling me that all of these heroes, an army, who have been trained to take down major threats while working together like a well oiled machine, have no hope of taking on whoever is out there?! Yes we may be out our magic! Yes we may have been turned into soft snuggle toys! But we-"

"Okay they're all locked up." At those words Kakashi and the others were thrown against the walls as the entire prison launched up and to the sides. Once everything has settled Kakashi stood up and for the first time took note of the massive, diamond shape purple window. It almost looked like a giant gemstone. Outside he could see a massive white tower with spirals going up it and something waving near the bottom.

"The ocean?" He asked aloud before the golden prison moved again, forcing the inmates against the wall. And what was outside the window now, beyond the white tower, was Princess Celestia. The prison walls lit up in a golden magical aura as Celestia could be seen outside adjusting her golden tiara, the prison shifting along with it. That was when he realized that he was looking at Celestia's reflection as she adjusts her tiara. The were inside her tiara! But this place is huge! Comparing the size of the window compared to the size of the gem on her head where they would have to be small enough that an ant would be like a dragon to them!

"You know, I think your rallying speech made it further than any of the others before reality hit." His neighbor commented.

(Outside)

"I wish we didn't have to put them in there." Celestia commented.

"They're the ones that keep breaking out." I half-heartedly reply.

"You're still thinking about it, aren't you?" Celestia asked.

"Kind of heard not to." I deadpanned.

"It's not your fault. It was an accident." She tried to reassure me as she rested her hoof on my back.

"Thanks... I'm just going to go to my private lab. See if I can get my mind off of this until we get a verdict." And with that I crack open the floor with a portal and I head out.

(Flashback!)

"Is that all of the evidence?" Oceanus asked.

"It is." Summer answered.

"Finally. I honestly have no idea how you thought you'd get away with it Harmony. Your aspects aren't exactly the best for subtlety and bringing a small army of Celestias in and of itself is the kind of thing that draws a lot of attention." Oceanus drawled at Harmony as she sat on a big, circular platform that showed past events based on who was sitting on it and what questions they were asked. "Does the victim have any questions before we take Harmony down?" Harmony nearly had a aneurysm when I was referred to as a victim.

"Umm... Yes. Why do you hate me so much?" I asked.

"Don't, you, DARE, pretend like you don't know!" Harmony shouted with pure loathing in her eyes. Regardless of her response the platform started glowing, creating a large window in the middle of the round table. All went quiet as I finally get an answer to why she is so...

"Oh come on!"

"Oh my."

"Aroooo!."

"You hate Rin... because of porn?"

"No! That's not... what it is is... this isn't!" Harmony tried to correct the natural assumption that was made from the image of Harmony and some earth pony on the screen.

"How is he even bending that way? Are you using your divine powers on him?" Tatonya asked while wiggling her nonexistent eyebrows.

"Don't judge me! I needed some stress relief okay!? Like any of you haven't done it! At least I give mine proper compensation instead of just snatching them up and tossing them aside when I'm done!" Harmony shouted with a blush so strong you'd think she had dipped her face in red paint.

None of us spoke after that as we watched the screen change to Harmony with a baby earth pony with her rainbow hair playing peekaboo. So far nothing groundbreaking. It's not uncommon for demigods to pop up every hundred years or so from all of the other gods. The only exception would be Tatonya because she's so big and strong she would crush anyone she would try it with into paste, literally. What was strange was that I had no idea who this guy was. Some demigods become great leaders. some become heroes of legend. And in one case one became a horrible villain. Poor death, he has one kid and he gets Grogar. But no matter what they have always made a big mark on history. Except this guy. I look around and can tell from some of the other gods faces that they're trying to place his face as well.

As we watched there was one constant. The baby turned into a toddler, which turned into a kid, which turned into a teen and finally into an adult.

"Do you have your lunch box?" The image of Harmony asked her son.

"Yes mother."

"Do you have that ointment for your you know what?"

"Yes mother."

"Do You have your enchanted armor and weapon properly polished? You don't want the other warriors making fun of you."

"Sparkly rainbow armor is extra sparkly."

"Perfect! If that doesn't get you a marefriend I don't know what will."

"MOM!"

"Now, now dear. You know I'm only looking out for you. Now go on, you shouldn't be late for your first battle. Make lots of friends and slay lots of enemies!" Harmony said cheerfully before giving the guy a kiss on the cheek.

The next image takes us to a raging battlefield. It was during the war with the minotaurs. It was showing a battle in one of their fortress cities. The earth pony was charging through the streets slaying one armored knight after another on his way to glory.

"seventy-five, seventy-six, Seventy-sssshit!" The demigod cried out with wide eyes as he screeched to a halt. What he saw before him was horrifying. The sheer brutality, the gore, one of the minotaurs was even still alive. The upper half of his body and his lower half separated by the room's length, yet still connected by his intestines. His face the very image of agony.

"What the buck could have done this!?" He asked aloud before hearing screams of terror close by. Taking a moment to put the minotaur out of his misery he charged forward down the street just in time to see Horny crushing the skull of the last minotaur under his flaming hoof.

"You, how could you!? To kill your own kind, and with such cruelty as well!" The demigod gave horny pause after drawing the horned reaper's attention. Not because of his words, but because of how girly his armor was. "Treachery is the worst sin of them all! And look at you. I can feel the evil rolling off of you! I've never even heard on anyone ...Hey! Don't walk away when I'm condemning you!" The demigod cried out while running forward and getting into Horny's path getting a look of annoyance from the demon.

"I don't have time for your criticism. You have your orders from the army, and I have mine from my keeper." The horned reaper stated before pushing through the demigod.

"I'm not from any army." stated the demigod in annoyance causing Horny to pause mid step.

"Oh, no no no. Don't say that." I say as I realize what must have happened. I remember the standard orders I gave Horny in city battles back then. Don't harm any civilians, only attack soldiers, don't attack any troops from allied armies.

Slowly the horned reaper turned around, a sickening grin on his face as he readied his weapon for the blood bath.

"As you sit rotting in the underworld I want you to remember the name of the one who stopped your wicked rampage monster. Forever remember the name of Hoof Note!" The demigod shouted as he jumped forward and stabbed forward with his sword to impale the demon.

'Tink'

"...um" Hoof Note said as he looked at his blade which stopped dead against the abs of the demon. "Ak!" He cried out as one of Horny's hands grabbed him by the neck and lifted him up off the ground.

(Five horrifying minutes later.)

"...well, that was..."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Wow."

"Well I think we have everything we need to debate on our votes... as soon as Twilight and Cadence come to."

(End Flashback.)

The vote went against Harmony on the grounds that to attack a demigod was one thing but to attack a god was another. And the few that thought differently about that mindset felt that my time in stone was enough punishment. Though try telling that to a mother who’s kid was butchered in such a horrible way. Now all that's left is for the three unbiased and anonymous judges to decide on her punishment.

"How are the projects I've set coming?" I asked one of my imps as I enter my lab.

"Two of the projects you had us look after have have met the requirements you've placed for them to be considered a success." The fox imp replied as she gestured to one of the other foxes who ran up to me with a shiny gold necklace and a hand mirror. "The imps that you shrunk down to the size of dust mites have finished carving the runes you've specified for the Chain of Emoji."

Taking the necklace I locked it around my neck before bending down to look into the mirror that my imp was holding up. What I saw was myself, before I became a goddess. I know it's just an illusion but I've missed having a face so much. Giving it a test run I smile and the face in the mirror smiles back. I frown, deadpan, pout and made every funny face I could think of just to see if it will show the image I'm aiming for. And just as I've hoped, the face in the mirror showed it all flawlessly without the need to wave something over my face first. Even as I spoke the mouth moved flawlessly. Now there were just two things left to check. I made the puppy pout and nearly tried to give my own reflection a hug. The perfect illusion control has notched up the puppy pout by five! And now the last thing.

"Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!" The tongue was extended to just the right length and the way it vibrated up and down like in a cartoon made it just as adorable as it is insulting. This has officially become my greatest weapon against diplomats, nobles and people I want to do something for me for free. definitely worth the hours waiting for the supercomputer I got from Bronze to crunch the numbers needed for the rune formation.

"And what was the other project?" I asked the fox.

"Project Tummy Rub Slave." The fox imp said as she called in another fox who was leading a woman in plain white pajamas into the room on a leash. I give her a few experimental pokes. "The subjects have lasted the entire month without any sign of deterioration. As you've theorized it is possible to make the slaves created with the summon harem spell permanent by tattooing the dark runes for mana absorption into the walls of its stomach and feeding it conjured water for the runes to suck dry and feed the mana into the constructs."

"About time I had a use for those slave chains that come attached to my room." I say as I bring in some gems and create a giant hamster water bottle held up by steel stands. "Fill this up with conjured water and place it next to the chains in my room and lock up my new royal tummy rubbers in those chains." I order and the female construct and water bottle were taken away.

With a sigh I use my hand to bring in a skeleton and placed it on one of my examination tables. Now that I have the time I should look into the changes my undead went through because of the undeath aspect. Like why they protected themselves from the light by draining my mana.

Let's see... strange, normally negative energy leeks out of an undead in tiny amounts like a never ending fart. It's the reason that they aren't used in things like farm work. They'd contaminate the produce and kill the animals. I've been dealing with the problem by having imps run around anyplace I take the undead with gems enchanted to suck up the stuff after I've left. And it's not an issue in the dungeon as the walls do that here. However instead of coming off as a gas, it looks like it has mixed with darkness into some kind of elastic energy. Like muscle. I think as I use my hand to drop a hammer into my paws. I want to test if this new energy animating my undead makes them any more durable And so I let loose with a swing.

'POP'

"...Umm..." What else can I say when my undead minion vanishes with a pop just before I could hit it? Concentrating on the link to my minions to see if one is standing out from the ones here and the ones from my Scourge factory where I got the vanishing skeleton from in the first place. And I'm surprised to find a few links in random worlds. So I follow one and find a flesh golem laid out on a table being studied by mages. moving back I follow another one to find a skeleton standing in what looks like a gaudy white training ground in front of men in armor as an older one giving them a lecture while fake swinging his sword at the undead to demonstrate.

"So my undead can be summoned now? That could causes problems if they take ones that I actually have doing things." I say to myself as I back out and follow another link. This time I find my missing test subject. I can tell because it took the paper sheet it was sitting on with it. I saw that it was standing with several young boys in armor with glowing animals next to them as well as an old man in white robes with a golden staff. It looks like all of the other children are poking fun at the one next to my skeleton.

"Stop that children! This now way for paladins to behave!" The old man in fancy robes chastised.

"But look at what he summoned! What kind of paladin summons an undead? And it's a petty skeleton at that!" One of the boys complained.

"It comes from a plane ruled by my goddess. There is no way it's as weak as a normal skeleton." The boy that summoned my minion shouted back. I have a paladin?

"That scrawny thing? My mighty summons could crush your low level one with ease." The bully dismissed condescendingly.

"It's a level one divine summons, same as mine!" My guy deadpanned. This got a scowl from the bully.

"We'll see, celestial dog, chew that thing up and bury its bones!" At the bully's command the shiny dog had charged over and leaped at my skeleton ready to bite into it.

'Shling'

Everyone there looked wide eyed at the two halves of the dog that was turning into light particles and floating away. I never thought I'd see the day where one of my skeletons would have the chance to be a badass. Thanks to the dark rituals all of the undead from my factory go through as they move down the assembly line, as well as the runes carved into it and the training room my skeleton's stats are looking good. Sure it would lose to an adequately trained soldier if they're fast enough to keep up and the dog did have the type advantage. But the dog charged in like any normal attack dog and the skeleton had the extra reach of a sword. Type advantage is worthless of you get killed before you can make even one attack. Wasn't clean either. The gear those skeletons have were mass produced by imps, which despite their skills in construction can't make properly shaped armor or weapons. This makes their weapons more terrifying as the skeleton's sword was jagged with uneven teeth for shredding rather than cutting.

"Now that your pointless sword measuring contest is over it's time to start your first extermination job. You need experience and those goblins need to be eradicated." The old man sighed. "Why did those paladins dump their trainees on me."

My attention, much to my annoyance, was drawn away from watching my little paladin in training by a knock on my door. With a sigh I walk over to see the twin dark knights Swift and Unyielding Blade carrying a coffin and Death was behind them... quivering?

"Our grandfather died." Swift said bluntly.

"I ain't dead!"

"Also, glad to see that you took care of the mask thing." Swift continued.

"Be more respectful to your princess!"

"Anyways we brought his corpse-" Swift began to say.

"I said I ain't dead!"

"Yes you are grandfather." Unyielding called back. "You had a heart attack."

"It was just some indigestion!"

"He always was a stubborn old-" At that moment Swift looked around both in my lab and down the corridors outside. "mule."

"Aha!" with super pony reflexes Swift Blade unsheathed her sword and swung it flat side forward and it made contact with a mighty slap and a crunch. Once she moved her weapon away she saw a donkey hanging from the ceiling by a rope tied around his hind legs, wearing a Spider-Mare costume minus the mask, swinging from side to side with anime swirls for eyes.

"Apologies my lady." Swift said with a bow.

"No worries. He asked for that one." I say with a dismissive wave. Is the other end of that rope being held to the sealing by duck tape?

"Anyways Death brought our grandfather's soul-" Swift began.

"I told you I ain't dead!"

"Please take him." Death said pleadingly.

"...Okay one, since when do you beg for anything and two... why do you sound like a chipmunk on helium?" I ask.

"When I was trying to reap him-" Death began.

"Try and touch me again and you'll get another kick in the balls!"

"Grandfather has a slight hearing problem. He can hear well enough most of the time. But sometimes he will confuse one word for another. Apparently he didn't hear the word reap." Swift added.

"Okay, mental image of the grim reaper jumping an old guy's bone aside, if you're a skeleton, how can he-"

"I don't know." Death said before I could finish.

"Sigh, fine. Maybe I'll make him a death knight. Oh! Death, if you're here does that mean that Harmony's fate has been decided?" I ask.

"Yes, it was decided that she would be temporarily stripped of her aspect and serve out her sentence as a high school janitor. For however long it takes her to let go of her anger." He replied.

"I see... thank you for telling me." I say getting a nod from Death before the trembling reaper vanished. After that I leave the lab and lock the door and turned to the ghost. "You, you're dead. Get over it! If you want to keep serving I can make you undead. If not I'll kick your sorry plot into the afterlife myself! Is that clear?!"

"Ma’am yes ma’am! I chose to keep serving ma’am!" The ghost replied with a salute.

"Alright, you girls take his corpse to my workshop and give him the tour. After everything that has happened today I need a nap." I order before portaling away.

"How long do you think Harmony would be kept off our backs by this?" Swift asked.

"Who knows. But I'm sure no harm would come from her domain being gone for a while." Her sister replied.

(Meanwhile.)

I yawn as I put my shiny new necklace in a small chest in my drawer before snuggling into my blanket. Resting my head on my fluffy pillow and-

"AHHHHH!" A scream sounded as something landed in my bed, launching me upwards where I shot off a dollification spell by reflex before landing on my bed once more.

'Squeak!'

I tilt my head as I felt something, or someone, squirming under me.

I think I just sat in something.

A New Creature Has Entered Your Dungeon!

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"Yes, it was decided that she would be temporarily stripped of her aspect and serve out her sentence as a high school janitor. For however long it takes her to let go of her anger." He replied.

"I see... thank you for telling me," I say getting a nod from Death before the trembling reaper vanished. After that, I leave the lab and lock the door and turned to the ghost. "You, you're dead. Get over it! If you want to keep serving I can make you undead. If not I'll kick your sorry plot into the afterlife myself! Is that clear?!"

"Ma’am yes ma’am! I chose to keep serving ma’am!" The ghost replied with a salute.

"Alright, you girls take his corpse to my workshop and give him the tour. After everything that has happened today I need a nap." I order before portaling away.

"How long do you think Harmony would be kept off our backs by this?" Swift asked.

"Who knows. But I'm sure no harm would come from her domain being gone for a while." Her sister replied.

"Who knows. But I'm sure no harm would come from her domain being gone for a while."

"But I'm sure no harm would come from her domain being gone for a while."

"I'm sure no harm would come from her domain being gone for a while."

In a deep, festering pit in the void, there was a shifting mass. And Murphy opened his eyes... and smiled.

(In the Scourge Factory.)

"It needs to be elegant! Something that will make the enemy quake when they see it on the battlefield but also acts as a sign of my nobility."

"I'm just saying we were here first! Now we get a whole bunch of foreigners stealing our jobs!"

"You're looking for a job? Hmmm, you might do. Cats are elegant and you're exotic and very large."

"Are you calling me fat!?"

"No, no fair lady, I just mean you are quite imposing."

"... I can't tell if you're trying to recruit me, show me off as some exotic pet or hitting on me but whichever it is the answer is no,"

I groan as I look up from my work to face my... guests. The first, surprisingly, was Blueblood. Turns out that the guy is a military genius who, like myself, took advantage of that law that allows any royal to have their own military force so long as they can afford to sustain it themselves. Admittedly I'm impressed with the results of his attack on the goodly base he was given as a target. A clean sweep of the place and not a single casualty on his part. A narcissist to the extreme he may be, but the guy knows what he's doing. I'll have to challenge him to an RTS game sometime. Unfortunately Squeaky was useless in those games. The only strategies she knows are stealth and infiltration. Which considering her plan for the all-out attack in the show was 'hit the barrier with your heads till it breaks and attack' I should have seen that coming. Blueblood came to add to his forces by requesting some kind of heavy duty war-beast because, and I quote, 'It's the latest thing.'

My second guest is a sphinx which came to me to complain about the other sphinxes that Pally threw into the mix.

"It's already a tough job market for us. There aren't many gods looking to hire guardians for ancient temples or powerful artifacts. And we'd have to be pretty lucky to find some natural treasure like a tree that grows magic golden apples or some spring that makes you younger. And now we have to compete with a bunch of outsiders!" The sphinx complained.

"I understand your problem, I really do, but Krass was the one who insisted that they stay. Why didn't you go speak with him about it?" I ask.

"I did! He told me we weren't hot enough because we had pony heads!" The sphinx exclaimed.

"That... ya, that sounds like him." I groan. The bad thing about dealing with most gods is that laws don't apply to them on account of the fact that they can trash most anyone that would try and make them.

"I said that I would be willing to hire you," Blueblood said to the sphinx.

"We're desperate, but we're not that desperate." The sphinx deadpanned.

"I have plenty of bits," Blueblood said with indignation.

"What am I going to do with bits? Do I look like I can even fit in a store let alone use any of the tiny things made for you ponies?" The sphinx questioned.

"What do you sphinxes normally get paid in?" I ask as I get back to work.

"Our magic can't replenish on its own unless we have a potent source like the magical radiation that comes off of magical artifacts or temple walls. We can't get it from living things either so no, unicorns can't do the trick." She answered.

"Which is why you can't just share, there is only so much to go around," I say while looking back at her, getting a nod in reply. "Can you feed off the dungeon you passed through to get here?"

"No, I know it was there but it felt... alive." Was her reply.

"Well, I've been raiding dead planets that I don't keep. Those vaults had some artifacts that I didn't want to let go to waste but have no idea what I'm going to do with them. I could set them up somewhere for you guys" I offer.

The sphinx's eyes glittered with excitement. "Yes! That would be great!"

"...Can I have a planet?" I pause at Blueblood's question and turn back to look at him.

"What would you do with a planet?" I have to ask.

"I can use it as my vacation home. It will make everypony who's anypony jealous. And I could get that one hundred hooves tall solid gold statue of myself that aunty Celestia said I couldn't build!" He exclaimed happily.

"That statue is going to need a lot of powerful enchantments to keep shape with how dense and malleable gold is. Besides any world I keep goes through a long, complicated and energy consuming process to pull it into the shadow realm. There is no sun and anything you use to try to generate light will be snuffed out." I inform him.

"...So about my battle beasts? What is the biggest you have?" He asked.

"I've made some corpse gatherers from some graveyards," I say with a smile. "But I don't think you'll be interested. I'll look into it for you." I tell him. I've been experimenting with my monster aspect anyways.

A new creature has entered your dungeon!

Both of my guests jumped at the sudden deep voice and looked around for the source. "Don't bother. That's kind of an alert system. I just hired a new minion back home." I say dismissively.

"I see, well I see you're busy and I am rather curious at what those aliens sell in their shops so I'll leave you be. Thank you for my future war beasts." He said but I can tell from the uncomfortable way he was looking at the ritual I was prepping and the giant coffins in the middle he just doesn't want to be around it when I start. To help them along I create a portal in the room as Blueblood calls for his guards who were waiting outside. I watch as Blueblood leaves surrounded by guards in the gaudiest armor I've ever seen. Each guard even had their nose in the air like the snootiest of nobles.

Once they were gone the sphinx bowed to me, as much as her giant form would allow. "Thank you for your help." And with those words, she left through the portal which I promptly closed.

A new creature has entered your dungeon!

"Finally! I thought he would never leave." I wouldn't have dared start the ritual with him here. I'd rather no one find out what kind of corpses I'm using here. And so I begin to chant while channeling my aspect of undeath for the extra power. The room rumbled and sparked as the runes I've carved into the floor starts to leak a green energy that starts to seep into the coffins. As this is happening the coffins lower into perfectly sized holed into vats of alicorn blood collected from dead worlds that have frozen over before the bodies could rot. As the chanting grew louder the blood diamonds that were placed in piles around the room began to break down into dust and flow into the bubbling blood as my imps started pouring liquid pain into the mix which was quickly beginning to be sucked into the coffins like water going down a drain.

There are a few things that determine the strength of any undead created by a necromancer. First, obviously, is the quality of the corpse. Different creatures conduct magic at different rates like different metals conduct electricity. There is also the quality of the materials you use. The stronger the undead minion the more costly the creation process. Then there is ownership. If you can get the soul's permission to own their remains that allow more of the magic to take. Next is experience, unless a soul will inhabit it the skill level of the undead is determined by how long they've lived and how good they were at what you want them to do. This is because some of the soul's energy, or ectoplasm, seeps into the body over their lifetimes leaving an imprint. The energy in the environment is also a factor which is why I'm doing this in my scourge factory. In fact, I've gone out of my way to get all of those things checked off the checklist for this project.

As the massive collection of lifeforce in the surrounding gems gets sucked into the coffins the coffins begin to rumble. As the ritual was nearing its end the rumbling grew more violent as the coffins burst open and the corpses of a ten-foot anthro Celestia and Luna floated out. I grew them to make them more imposing and to make it harder for anyone to figure it out. I've also curved up their horns and infused and bent the horns of other Celestias and Lunas around their heads to make a crown. As they floated higher their flesh, hair and blood were broken down and absorbed into their bones until there was nothing left but clean bones and the mountain hearts taken from alicorn amulets which now float in their rib cages where their hearts would be. Once the ritual was complete the two undead floated down and their bony feet touched the floor, their purple dots that float in their eye sockets shifted to look down at me.

"So... How do you feel?" I asked them. They looked at each other before looking back down at me.

"Nothing." They replied at once. "Oh good, their voices don't sound like Celestia's or Luna's. they're all distorted and echoy.

"Well, you don't have souls. You're running entirely on memory at this point I shall call your kind, grave lords. You shall be called ember and you frost. Now get dressed." I order while gesturing to the armor left at the corner of the room. Without a word, the two walked over and put on their armor and picked up their weapons. Once they had returned I examine my work and am pleased with what I see. The built-in spells have taken nicely. Create mass undead, mass fear, tremor, shockwave... basically, each of these undead are built to be a raid boss. "Right, off to the training room with you. I want you to be in top shape. Hop to it!" I command and the two teleport away. With the alicorn amulet's power fueling them each one should be able to cast any spell they did in life save for the ones that would be harmful to undead.

A new creature has entered your dungeon! Hark now, a Warlock has arrived to study spells within your library. His research will serve your magic well. Restrict him not to his books for within combat he may prove formidable with fireballs.

"That's new." I say in confusion. The voice never gave introductions before. Just told me when I got a new minion.

A new creature has entered your dungeon! Behold a Salamander, graceful ancient lizard who cannot be harmed by fire. He'll even wade through lava streams with no impediment.

"What is going on?" I ask aloud before creating a portal back to my world. Once I land in my dungeon I use my keeper sight to check out the portal areas and my mind freezes at what I see.

A new creature has entered your dungeon! Behold the Dark Elf. Her sniping skills as sharp as bolted arrows which she shoots. She serves you well in line behind your fighters and excels in duty as a guard.

And just as it said a bald woman with bluish-grey skin with a bow in hand and quiver on her back came up out of one of my portals.

"Who keeps saying that?" A warlock asked as he looked around. "Since when do minions get introductions?"

"We no get one." One of the big pink pig-like men wielding crude war hammers and shields complained. I think they're orcs from the first game. There are also salamanders, and Nosferatu looking vampires. That last one is a tad confusing considering they don't come from portals in the game... unless they're epics?

"I've never seen so many portals in one place before. Let alone in such neat rows." One of the vampires stated as he walked down the hall. On either side were little rooms, each with their own portals. Glancing up he saw the signs above the doors to each room. "Canterlot, everfree forest, badlands, zebrica, the scourge factory...that one place with the yummy breakfast scones?" The vampire looked to his fellows in bewilderment. This was increased when a fox with a pickax ran by. "Was that an imp?"

The apparent leader of the orcs snorted and started walking down the corridor, the dungeon heart guiding him to where he wanted to go. Figuring that they weren't going to get any answers standing around the hall of portals they followed the orcs down the only hall. The first room that they came to was a pit so deep that they couldn't see the bottom with a two wood bridges connecting the door they stood at with the one on the other side of the room with one platform in the middle of the two bridges, no doubt trapped. On either side of the pit were platforms where they could see cat people armed with bows and arrows to snipe at intruders trying to cross. Above the other door and to either side were canons that shifted from side to side. But unlike the normal sentry trap, the ones on either side look more festive, almost in a way that made those who knew what one thought of a carnival. The one over the door looked like a box with a round dent in it.

This earned the approval of the newcomers. Too many keepers fall because they just put up a door and think that would be enough. They quickly move across the bridge and through the steel door blocking the tunnel further end. And the door after that, and after that. A few more doors later they came to a casino with several black knights, dragons, cat people and ponies were gambling or eating at a dining area that took up one side of the room. In another corner were a group of dwarves having a drinking contest while singing a song about the wonders of beer.

Having found their target, the orcs ran over to the food section of the area and up to a counter manned by a imps wearing full body suits to keep any hair from getting into the food. The others watched as the orcs paid the head and sat down at a table while other imps rushed out to serve them meats and drinks.

"You guys are a first, where did you guys come from?" Their attention was drawn to a white unicorn with an electric blue mane. She was sitting at a table playing cards with a blue unicorn in a wizard's hat, a black dragoness and an impossibly huge black knight with blue on his armor, marking him as an epic. The vampires however never took their eyes off of the white unicorn but soon they smiled.

"Sister." One of them saysis in a raspy voice as they moved forwards.

"Wizard." The warlocks were looking at the blue unicorn with hostility, some of them even conjured up fireballs in their hands. The blue unicorn snorted at their display.

"The great and powerful Trixie is not some two-bit wizard. And if you want to establish a pecking order with Trixie, that's fine with me." Trixie said with a condescending smirk as she conjured up seven blue fireballs of her own, one for each warlock that held a fireball of their own. But their fireballs were about the size of baseballs while Trixie's were each the size of beach balls. As the warlocks saw Trixie's fireballs floating in the air they quickly grew pale and backed down. Having proven that she had the biggest balls of everyone in the room, Trixie sat back in her seat with satisfaction.

"Anyways, you guys are obviously off-worlders. What brings you to these parts?" The newcomers were confused by the question.

"We heard that a new world had been found. Which means that new dungeons would be opened. Is this not one of them?" A vampire asked.

"There has only been one keeper on this world... at least until now. She is not going to be happy to hear that others are moving in on her turf." The vampire pony replied with a frown. This news excited the newcomers. Their new keeper had a far stronger foothold in this world. And if those who dwell in the underworld love anything. It was being on the side that can steamroll all the others. "So how did you guys find this world?"

(A few hours ago.)

"We've failed. It was the biggest gamble we could have made and we lost everything." One of the goodly heroes sighed sadly.

"It's not over! I know where her lair is. We can still stop her!" The burnt pony in the group argued.

"With what army?" A knight asked. This caused the group to go silent. They didn't expect all of their bases to fall.

"Well, there is the portal gem that the Juggernaut gave us." A wizard said as he reached into his hat and pulled out said artifact.

"I don't know. Something about that guy rubbed me the wrong way." The only archer in the group said as he glared at the portal gem.

"What choice do we have? The world will be doomed if the fox isn't stopped! This world is the world of the first goodly heroes, right? We need their help!" Hunter argued. The group once again fell into silence as they stared at the gem. After a short while, they came to an agreement. Placing the gem on the ground the wizards started channeling magic through it. As it was being charged up it began to float and spin on its own, faster and faster as the ground began to crack beneath it and crystal pillars began to rise up. Recognizing this portal the group panicked and tried to stop the portal from forming... but it was too late. The group moved into formation, readying themselves to fight whatever came out. And out rose a blue-skinned man with glowing red eyes and wings coming out of his back.

(Present time.)

"GIRLS!" I shout in the royal Canterlot caps locks. I was going to kick down the door but I didn't need to as my shouting was enough force to open the door on its own. Celestia and Luna jumped in surprise at my sudden and violent entry. "Get suited up! Those goodly bastards just bucked up like you wouldn't believe!"

The Rise and Fall of Harmony Part 1.

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Billy was, in his own opinion, a very practical man that enjoyed the simple things in life. A cotton stuffed bed with spider silk sheets. Beautiful slave women to enjoy until broken. He enjoyed the warm creamy feeling of blood running into his armor from a fresh kill, the sound of screams and the sound of bones going crunch. And now music can be added to that list. He used to hate it because it was all so cheerful except for what you'll get from creatures like orcs and goblins, but that was just screaming words like bash smash and crash with the beat of drums that could just barely qualify as music.

But at some point the army he was given to march out to raid the nearest town suddenly, and for no apparent reason, broke out into a song he could enjoy. He bobbed his head as the orcs, ogres, trolls, black knights and dragons somehow managed to sing and make it sound good. though he was a tad confused about the dark mistresses that ran after them just to start whipping the troops for the song. He even went so far as to walk more carefully so as to not drown out the music with the clank of his armor.

The music, however, had come to an end when the army had come to a stop.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Billy demanded as he rushed forward to see what had happened. What he saw was a trench. A path carved into the earth from left to right, wide enough that he couldn't throw a stone across and too deep to see the bottom. Taking a moment to once more look left and right and seeing the trench vanishes behind the trees he wasn't sure how far he would have to go to get around this. Considering he was on a road and there was no bridge raised a few flags by itself. His eyes narrowed, normally shifting in red and orange like hellfire it turned completely red as he focused.

"You! Come here." Billy said to a troll that was dumb enough to stick his head out of the line. Cringing to itself the troll rushed forward and stopped in front of his leader with a salute. Billy grabbed him by the neck and threw him over the edge. As the unfortunate troll fell, Billy was bobbing his head with his counting, using the sound of the screaming from below to help measure the distance. However, instead of a sudden stop, the screaming just faded out.

"Does it go all the way down to the bedrock?" Billy asked himself before checking the walls going all the way down. They look like the walls of a dungeon, but he quickly dismissed it. What kind of self-respecting dungeon has walls without any porn carved into it?

Once the screaming stopped and the troops quieted down so as not to draw attention to themselves after what happened to the troll, Billy was able to hear the sound of digging. Without a word he turned to the direction of the sound and started running. Passing through the trees he soon came to a sight that gave him pause. For separated from himself by the seemingly bottomless abyss, he could see three warlocks, six orcs, and a unicorn having a pleasant, by overworld standards, picnic. The digging he had heard was coming from some foxes which were now fortifying another trench only ten feet deep connecting to this massive one.

"What is going on here!?" Billy demanded. The warlocks who were reading their books under the sunlight and the orcs who were playing by pelting each other with chickens jumped at his shout but the blue unicorn just gave him a glance and waved a hoof dismissively.

"If you're trying to cross we haven't set up any of the toll bridges yet. It will be a few hours so you might as well take a break." The unicorn called out. With a raised eyebrow Billy looked down into the darkness below. Setting up tolls was a common thing for keepers. If they get their hands on some land where they can get a lot of traffic they take full advantage to add to their coffers. And yes, with warlocks and orcs involved he now knew this was the work of a keeper.

Still, I've never heard of anyone going quite this far for a toll. Billy thought to himself. Regardless I can't just sit around for a few hours and I'm sure as hells not going to pay them anything. There is also the issue of how close this set up is to my master's dungeon. We'll have to take it anyways. Might as well deal with it now. Without another word, he turned around and marched back to his awaiting forces.

"You know he's not going to wait and bring his army to kill us once he gets them across right?" One of the warlocks asked. A look of worry in his eyes.

"Trixie is aware." The unicorn replied as she reluctantly rose up to her hooves. At that moment their attention was drawn to the sound of rushing water. They watched as it rushed down the ten-foot-deep trench and into the massive one. The problem with fighting a keeper is their movements underground. Rin didn't want any tunnels allowing for any tricky maneuvers or escapes. Once this trench, which now completely surrounds the invader's dungeon is full, anyone trying to dig their way out will be in for a nasty surprise. Still, even with new pathways connecting to the surrounding rivers and several portals flooding helping speed things along it will take a few hours for it to fill up.

"Come on. The imps are done so we don't need to be here anymore. Let's go give Bloody some backup." Turning away from the waterfall Trixie marched into the forest in the direction that the armored man had run off to.

Meanwhile, Billy was already marching his forces across a hastily built bridge made from the surrounding trees. Cut down by ogres, shaved clean by trolls and placed and held together by dragons. The prosses was slow going as they didn't want to burden the makeshift bridge with more than it could handle. Once all of the normal troops were across he had the dragons carry the heavy equipment or valuables across.

He tried to get an ogre across but even with dragons holding on to each arm and flapping as hard as they can, well, ogres are very big. Before it could make it halfway across the bridge there was an ominous crack, and the last that was seen of it was an expression of 'oh shit' before the bridge gave out. The dragons were forced to let the ogre go lest they be dragged down with it.

Billy clicked his tongue in annoyance at being unable to take the heavy hitters anywhere until a proper bridge could be built. With nothing but a glare, the troops hastily got back into formation.

"I don't believe any of you guys paid the toll." A deep voice called out drawing the invaders attention towards what had to be the biggest black knight any of them had ever seen. The fact that the blue in his armor marked him as an epic made his figure all the more imposing. He was backed by some other black knights and some dragons as well as a hoard of skeletons and zombies.

"Impressive, you will make a fine addition to our forces," Billy said with an appraising eye.

"You think you can take me shrimp?" Bloody asked with a snort.

"Impressive as you may be, you are still only a black knight. While I am an overlord." Billy boasted. Meanwhile, under the cover of the forest, Trixie is leaning over to a warlock.

"What's an overlord?" Trixie asked in a whisper.

"An experiment a long time ago. A genius keeper wanted to create lesser keepers as minions and invented a cheap knock-off of a dungeon heart. They were meant to govern conquered lands as replacement lords of the lands so the fake hearts were named tower hearts. I understand the first one was stolen by another experiment, some kind of imp goblin hybrid, as well as spawning nests used to make more of its kind." The warlock replied.

At this time Bloody Horns was bord out of his skull. The 'overlord' as he called himself, was monologuing. Bloody didn't even know what he was going on about as he quickly started tuning the guy out. Something about defeat being inevitable and how Bloody should join his team. No, Bloody Horns was focused on things far more important. Mother's Day was coming up soon after all. He will have to come up with the perfect gift. Is he still talking?

"Alright, I think that's enough. I've given you your pitty screen time, so it's time to get on with it. The boss wanted me to give the new guy a test run so I'm going to let him kill your subordinate. I can kill you if you'd like. Hey Frost! Get to it!" Bloody Horns shouted out.

Billy was momentarily struck speechless by the sheer audacity of this lesser being dismissing him like this. His mind, however, was quickly drawn to a flash of light and a sound he recognized as coming from a teleport. Turning to look across the trench he saw a 10-foot tall skeleton in black and purple armor and sharp horns growing out of its head like a crown. In one arm was a huge tower shield covered in spikes, while the other holds a spiked mace that appeared to be made from bone with runes made from gold and jewels. The extra long handle and the overall design made the weapon look more like a king's scepter than a tool for killing. Its teeth were sharp like nails and its face was shaped into a look of rage, the green glow in its eye socket looked around like a butcher picking out the best meat to start chopping up. The sheer cold radiating off of this undead could be felt even from across the trench.

With a ghostly wail that made even the surrounding trees shake the grave lord swung its mace into the belly of one ogre and tore its torso wide open, not stopping as it continued in its swing doing the same to the belly of the one next to it. With a cry of agony, the two ogres, both twice the size of the grave lord fell to their knees as their intestines spilled out onto the ground. Ogres were known for their durability, so the fact that their flesh had so easily been torn through made quite a bit of a dent in the invading army's morale.

And then all hell broke loose. After taking down two ogres the grave lord let out a hateful scream which carried magic that Billy realized felt like a fear trap, only many times stronger. Himself, three of the most disciplined of the black knights, five dragons and one particularly stubborn warlock were able to resist the effect, but the rest of his forces broke rank and were scrambling about in their panic.

Billy knew from past experience that simply trying to order anyone under the influence of a fear attack would be like getting a river to stop flowing by yelling at it. The situation wasn't helped any by the spells and arrows that had started bombarding the panicked invaders, and he could see something in the surrounding forest was cutting down any of his subordinate that tried to flee... It was an ambush... Billy was pissed! The humiliation of falling into the trap was bad enough, but the humiliating display of his army running around like frightened animals and being butchered like them to, it made him look like a fool.


"You dare... You dare! I will tear your balls right out of your sack, cook them in oil and make you eat them!" Billy cried out in fury as he lifted his weapon for battle. Normally he would go after what he considered to be the greatest threat, but as there is a noticeable lack of ground between him and that undead, the epic black knight will have to do. As Billy was charging into battle Bloody Horns lifted his hammer and gave a mighty swing. Confident in his own strength and the enchantments in his armor and weapons he swung his own sword. It wasn't until the weapons were about to collide that Billy took note of the quality of the war hammer. Dwarven made if he wasn't mistaken, ebony to be exact. It also appeared to be heavily enchanted.

Once the two weapons collided the war hammer, that was enchanted to increase its already hefty 300 libs of weight by 850% for one second, pushed the enchanted sword aside and crashed into Billy, sending him flying into one of his still panicking orcs and continued on through a tree before stopping as the orc he was using as a cushion crashed into a boulder sticking out of the ground. And as if to add insult to injury, he landed next to a shriveled up undead covered in gauze which proceeded to bitchslap him. 'Crack' Freezing as he was getting up, Billy looked down at his magic armor to see several large cracks originating from the spot the hammer had struck.

"...FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-" Nope. My fault. My master was never one to tolerate the blame game so trying to shift the blame for all of this will only increase my time on the racks... Still, this armor was one of my keeper's great artifacts. It was once the armor of the Avatar himself! Corrupted by the dark gods! This was a legendary artifact! Billy was sweating now. If he wanted even the slightest sliver of hope of making it out of the torture chamber with his mind and soul intact then he will need to bring back an artifact good enough to make up for it. The hammer! It had to have been given some kind of blessing from a god! There is no other explanation for what it had just done! The hammer and the knight to go with it!

Having reclaimed his calm Billy took a moment to find his helmet that fell off during that short fight as he felt the refreshing power of the healing spell as well as a bombardment of other buffs from his keeper.Oh thank badness! He's giving me a chance to claim the prize! Turning back to the mummy that was still beating on him he cut it in half from top to bottom. There was no more arrogance in his eyes. He marched back into the battlefield to find the black knight was also flashing with different lights, showing that his own keeper was laying lair after lair of buffs on him.

Without another word, Billy charged into battle, cutting down anything that got in his way, even if it was his own men. When he reached the epic he had to dodge another swing from the hammer. He knew without the magic protection of the armor he stood no chance of surviving another hit from that thing. Moving into position, he stabbed onto a gap in the epic's armor, right up into the left armpit. Roaring in pain and anger the giant of a black knight swung his hammer back around forcing Billy to pull back.


Where once it was a complete one-sided slotter for team Rin, the overlord and the others that were able to resist the fear effect were bombarded with buffs while leaving the ones that succumb to the fear to their fate. Now that the invading keeper was giving his underlings some support it wasn't just a battle between minions, but the keepers as well. Both keepers were trying to outdo each other in giving their minions victory. Rin had far more mana to buff all of her troops and heal them on the spot. But the newcomer had the advantage of only having a few minions to focus on. Though the invading keeper was a little annoyed at how few of the ambushers his minions were killing. As she actually gives a damn about her minions, Rin has gotten good at keeping track of her troops on the battlefield and keeping them healed or pulling them out in time to save them.

Both keepers were also taking this time to learn about the competition. The main focus of this battle was the fights between the epic dark knight and his overlord, and the fight between the warlock and the blue unicorn. That last battle wasn't going so well for him. That unicorn was tricky. But that hat! He must have that hat! The hammer as well. Preferably with their wealders with them, he was pretty sure the unicorn was an epic itself. Why else would a keeper allow it to wield such a magnificent artifact? Those artifacts were the only reason he was letting this fight continue, let alone working so hard to support his minions.

At this point, it was a war of attrition. Both keepers working hard to keep their minions going, making all attacks meaningless as any injury was almost instantly heald. The invading keeper even hit all of his feared ogres with overcharged haste spells to delay that giant undead. He let out a curse when the warlock fell and he was quickly dragged away. Foxes? Strange but it's not unheard of for keepers to tweak the create imp spell in order to customize the imps appearance to their liking. More importantly, the field was clean of bodies. He was so focused on the fighting to notice how many of his men were captured.


This was getting absurd. Billy had never been in a fight like this before where any attack he makes just heals almost instantly. And now his skin is stone. Billy thought to himself in annoyance at the still completely mobile, stone knight. Not that it was easy to tell with all of the golden sparkles from the constant heal spells the both of them were being hit with. He had to admit the black knight hits hard. Billy had been forced to take a kick or a punch many times in this fight because if he evaded them he would be hit by the hammer. He could only hope that the battle between keepers ends in his favor soon or who knows how long this will last. That hope, however, was smashed in the face when there was a flash of light and a familiar sound coming from right behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know what was back there. The powerful cold washing over him like a hoard of ghosts was all he needed.

"Last one." The haunting voice of the undead was heard for the first time before the mace came down. The earth shook, a cloud of dust flew up, but when it cleared, Billy was gone.


With Rin


I gave a sigh at the battle that just took place. I was hoping that the reverse mote would be full before we were noticed. My attention was turned the other princesses who were coming in after making their preparations. First to enter was Cadence, followed shortly by Luna and finally Celestia and Twilight came in together... wait.

"Un... explanation please?" I ask concerning the others coming in. It was Twilight's friends. And every single one was an alicorn.

"Well... it was Dr. Wolf. He managed to find a displaced that can either make or got his hand on, divine aspects. Though some of them are... well let me make the introductions. This is Applejack, princess of the harvest." Applejack looked uncomfortable but gave me a tip of her hat in greeting. "Rarity, princess of fabulosity." Rarity gave me a curtsy while I was fighting not to laugh. "Pinkie Pie, princess of parties and cake." Was that, jealousy I heard in her voice? "Rainbow Dash, princess of storms." The rainbow pegasus just gave a pose like she was a war hero. "And Fluttershy princess of apologies."

"I'm sorry," Fluttershy said while trying to hide behind her main.

"Oh, and there was something for you," Celestia said as she took out a white coin with the number 13 on it.

"...Celestia... is that an elevator button?" I ask in a deadpan. She was about to answer but before she could get a word out the button shot out of Celestia's magical grip on its own and flew right at me. "Nooooooooooooooo!" I cry out as I take off around the room, the dreaded button hot on my trail. Unfortunately, my lack of cardio had finally come up to get me in the ass. I was panting for breath when the button caught up to me and entered my body... through the back door. As I lay there with my poor tushie in the air I hear Luna ask a question that fills me with dread.

"Think this is a bad time to tell her about the aspect of treasure?"

Eyes widening in horror I turn my head just in time to see a flying treasure chest coming at me from behind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHSnvU3yxg4

The Rise and Fall of Harmony Part 2.

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Deep underground in the dungeon of Keeper Valinars, the lord of this underground fortress could be found leaning over the map in his war room. Thin like a stick the dark elf man looked like he wouldn't even be able to support his own weight with his six and a half feet of height and skin that hugged his bones with no sign of muscle to move them. His white hair was long and hanging behind his head in a ponytail. As one would expect from such a man he wore black and purple spider silk robes woven expertly with elaborate patterns and gold trimmings.

Across from him sat Mary, a woman that was a vision of beauty in a lavish dress and an expertly crafted golden mask. A human woman who was once known as the fairest in the overworld, but time started catching up to her and insecurities began to grow in her heart. One day her spiteful sister mocked her by asking if that was a wrinkle she saw on Mary's face. Terrified by the thought of losing her looks, she made a deal. For a dungeon heart, she sold out her entire kingdom. Still, even with the clock no longer having any grasp on her she is still paranoid of that nonexistent wrinkle to this day and hides behind a mask made in the likeness of her own face when she was twenty.

The woman was a subordinate keeper that Valinars had defeated awhile ago. He was planning to set her up in this world to carry out his will while he continued his campaign against the light. However, the confrontation he had with this mystery keeper convinced him that it would be a good idea to bring in an extra army or three.

Normally he would try to make an alliance with a keeper of his opponent's level but finding out that his dungeon was now surrounded by water, preventing him from expanding outwards, it has been made clear that this other keeper has no plans on sharing. And this world was too valuable to abandon. Training minions is expensive to do in mass, but his first dungeon in this world already had fifty-seven gem seams being mined around the clock by level ten imps. Most of his dungeon here was training rooms currently filled with more imps training up to max level.

Even without using this dungeon as a training post to get fresh minions up to level four quickly the imps alone will be a game-changer in his war. fully trained imps can claim land almost as fast as their hasted feet can run. Normally the time and cost to make an army of fully trained imps would be too great to make it worth it. But hear? He can already imagine it. Thousands of fully trained imps washing over the overworld. Too many for the light to stop, and in time the inhabitance of the overworld will be unable to go anywhere without walking over his land. He could destroy armies alone by hitting them with spells from the comfort of his own throne! He can drop his trained armies anywhere in the land! And as demonstrated by the impressive trap he found his dungeon in, the ability to quickly mold the land to his desire like clay.

As the two were working a large mirror on the wall started glowing while giving off a low hum. Drawing the attention of the two keepers Valinars waved his bony hand to allow whoever was trying to contact him to speak. Though they both hid it well they were surprised to see a unicorn with a white coat and a rainbow mane looking back at them. She was wearing a brown shirt with what looks like a name tag but neither keepers could read the local writing.

"Who are you?" Valinars asked. The blue unicorn could talk after all, so why not this one?

"My name is of no concern to you." The unicorn stated.

"Then my time is of no concern to you," Valinars replied with a sneer. He turned back to the map while slowly raising a hand towards the mirror to cancel the spell.

"Harmony! My name is Harmony." The unicorn said with haste and irritation. That irritation grew when she saw a condescending smirk grow on Valinars's face. She knew he was doing this as a way of gaining dominance in this conversation.

Valinars, however, wasn't feeling as good as he normally would when he shows others who is in charge. It was that name, Harmony! The very sound of it made him want to vomit blood. But he became a master of the poker face years ago and showed none of it.

"Verry well, Harmony." Valinars had to pause there to keep himself from dry-heaving at such a pure sounding name. "What business do you have with me?"

Harmony had opened her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted from her side.

"I know right? And have you seen his flanks? You can crack a walnut on those things. Yummy!" The new voice that suddenly came in was followed by a knock on the door.

"Occupied!" Harmony shouted.

"What is going on?" Valinars asked his caller.

"Was that a stallion's voice?! What's going on in there?" The new female voice called out as there was more knocking.

"Nothing! Go away!" Harmony called back.

"This is the mare's restroom! Get him out of here!" The outsider shouted.

"Restroom?" Valinars said in a questioning tone before it turned to an incredulous one. "Are you calling me from a toilet!?"

"No, I'm not!" Harmony quickly denied.

"Yes, she is!" The voice of the outsider called out. Her voice had changed from angry to amused quickly when she heard that the male wasn't actually in there.

"Who uses a toilet to cast scrying magic?" The female keeper taunted.

"Seriously!? Wait, if she's using the water in the toilet to talk through scrying then does that mean she has her face in the-" The words of whoever was behind the stall door was cut off when Harmony cast a spell to stop any sound from getting in or out of the stall. Her white coat turning bright pink at this point. There was a pregnant silence filling the air on both sides before Harmony regained her composure and cleared her throat.

"Anyways, as I was about to say, I know you are going to battle against the dungeon keeper Rin and I have collected valuable information on her over the years that can serve you well in the coming conflict." Harmony offered.

"And what would you want in exchange for this information?" Valinars asked.

"...I want to know how dungeon hearts are made."

"Oh? I'm sure we can come to an agreement then. Once this world has been conquered I will need subordinates to rule over each continent for me. I can give you the power you crave." Though we'll have to do something about that name. Valinars thought.

"I'm offering information in exchange for information. I'm not on the table." Harmony rejected.

"You fail to recognize the value of what I'm offering. You will have immortality, power beyond anything you can attain on your own as well as your own continent to rule over. I'm being generous." Valinars stated with a scowl.

"I just want to know how dungeon hearts work. That's all I want. I think I'm the one being generous here." Harmony replied with a sneer.

"I already have a means of getting this information. This deal would just get it faster. What you want, however, is a well-kept secret that I'm not just going to give out so easily. The only reason I'm even considering this is because you being able to contact me at all with the wards I have up shows that you are a skilled spell caster and therefore could be a useful subordinate." Valinars stated.

"...So you won't trade the knowledge I want unless I swear my loyalty to you?" Harmony asked with a deadpan.

"With a magically binding contract yes," Valinars confirmed with a toothy smile. Harmony just gave him a flat look for a moment before reaching for something out of sight. He frowned when he heard the sound of flushing and the image in the mirror began to twist like a whirlpool before the spell broke, leaving only the room's reflection. Valinars growled in anger before turning to Mary.

"Have any of those heroes cracked yet?" Valinars asked.

"I'm sorry my lord, but despite the clear animosity that they have expressed about the local Keeper, they all remain stubbornly quiet about her. It doesn't look like they will be breaking any time soon either." Marry replied with worry.

"And Billy?" Valinars asked as he leaned onto the map table while taping on it with his right hand.

"Dead my lord. By the time that the warlocks were able to identify his infliction as a curse called mummy rot, he had already turned into sand." Marry promptly explained.

"A shame. He got off too easy for his failure and the damage to my armor." Valinars lamented. The dark elf just stood there for a moment, his fingers drumming on the map table before he glanced back over to the mirror. He found those heroes odd. He had expected them to spill everything they knew about this Rin. But for some reason, they take everything his best interrogators have to offer and still they hold strong. Scrunching his face up like he had bitten into something sour, Valinars traced the last scrying spell that had touched the mirror.


"Now are there any questions?" A brown earth pony with an hourglass cutie mark asked his science class. There were no hooves in the air so he just let the bell ring, unleashing the students from his class. Once the room was cleared a grey pegasus with googly eyes walked into the room.

"Hey, doc? You know how we're supposed to keep an eye on the janitor and I'm supposed to tell you if I see anything strange?" The pegasus asked.

"Yes Derpy, did you find anything?" The earth pony asked his companion.

"Well... I was going to the bathroom when all of a sudden the toilet started screaming at me." Derpy said as her ears folded back. "And it was saying some very mean things."

"Oh, no that's normal. Happened to me three times since we've started here." The earth pony dismissed.

"Oh... Should I flush an apology muffin?" Derpy asked in uncertainty. "I was surprised and I kind of broke its jaw."

"That would be a nice gesture." The earth pony said with an approving nod.


Later that night.


With a loud 'crash' Harmony slammed her apartment door close before giving a tired sigh. She was really starting to hate her life. No aspect, stuck in high school, stuck with probation officers, one of which Harmony was sure was deliberately trying to make her punishment even more of a cesspit than it already is. Earlier today that pegasus not only made a large crack in a toilet in the mare's bathroom, but she also clogged it with a muffin then pulled the handle hard enough to break it, causing the water to flow out without stopping!

Harmony gave a content sigh as she felt the hot flow of water from her shower head. Just, letting her pent up frustrations of the day wash away... they'll wash away any moment now... Any moment... Harmony gave a frustrated shout as she started scrubbing her own coat raw.

Once she was sure she had gotten all of the toilet water off she just sat there with the water beating down against her back as she got back to work on her little art project. a replica of her own head was pulled out from under the bathroom sink and levitated on the other side of the glass door as she starts painting the thing. Yes, Harmony was down, but she was far from out. She may be mortal now but she still had a few trump cards left to play. She just needed to escape this little slice of Tartarus to get to any of them, and the old pillows under the covers trick is, unfortunately, her best way to fool the ponies keeping watch over her apartment long enough to do so. They are making the occasional sweep for her magic at night so illusion spells wouldn't work.

As she worked music one would hear from an orchestra began to play.

"You think that I am buried, a trophy in your case. But I still live to make your plans all blow up in your face!

"Oh, my power may be faded, under lock and key. But like the phoenix I will rise, just you wait and see."

Deep in a dungeon war room, Rin leaned over the map with her Epics and her Pinkamena collection. Turns out there were a few in Alexandria that was all too eager to jump at having a body.

"They think that they can just march in, do as they desire? Soon they will see their action's fee when they're burning in a fire."

"You can't imagine what they've done with their vile game, the man, the woman, the child, and dog, to them they're all the same."

"Evil!"

"Wikid!"

"Vile!"

"Depraved!"

"The time as come as I finish my art!"

"Now rally the troops it's time to start!"

"I'm, going, to, break, her, heart!"

Suddenly the music stopped with the sound of a record scratching when there was a knocking on her closed window. with a surprised squeak, Harmony quickly hid the fake head back in its hiding spot.

"Harmony are you singing a revenge song in there!?" One of the guards asked in a warning tone.

"No!" Harmony shouted back angrily.

"Then what were you singing about just now?" The guard demanded.

"I, um, puppies?" Harmony facehooved at the stupidity of her answer to the question.

"That music sounded awfully ominous for a song about puppies." The voice replied.

"Well I'm sorry it wasn't to your tastes but even with my freedom restricted I still have my right to sing! And if I want to sing about puppies in an action scene then I'll bucking sing about puppies in an action scene!" Harmony shouted back angrily.

"Just don't get any funny ideas." The guard said before flying off.

"Oh, Harmony thank you so much for helping cure princess Luna and stopping discord from covering the world in chaos." Harmony said in a mock tone before slumping. "Ingrate."


Meanwhile, back with Rin.


"Hey, boss, you okay?" Vinyl asked me as she waved a hoof in my face.

"Yes, it's just that the music has stopped. It was cutting in and out there so I'm guessing there was someone ells singing to the same tune and it got interrupted on the other side." I say as I cock my head to the side. "I wonder who I was singing with."

The Rise and Fall of Harmony Part 3

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It was time. After all of the preparation, Harmony had finally finished setting up her plan for escape. She carefully adjusts the fake head in her bed and hid in her closet. Now all she had to do was wait for the teenagers she had managed to convince (Blackmail) to do their part. It left a bad taste in her mouth that she had to stoop to such methods, but it was for the greater good. She didn't have to wait long as she soon heard the music of a heart song wash over the area, though her grin did falter a little when she heard the lyrics...


"Just listen to our song and you'll see nothing wrong as our distraction keeps you dancing all night! Duping you is a piece of cake when all we need to do is shake and we'll string you all along like a kite." the two mares sang out.

"We can't remember why we're here as our eyes you do steer from side to side while trapped in your sway." All the guards sang along.

Harmony looked on with her mouth hanging open at the sight before her. The two mares were just standing there shaking their plots at the guards while all of the guards are tracking the two backsides with their eyes unblinking. It actually made her think of cats watching the red dot of a laser pointer that was out of reach. She was glad that she was able to discreetly slip them a potion to temporarily boost the power of a heart song and that Celestia and Luna only hired male guards. With the way those two were singing about how they were tricking the guards, this could have been a very short breakout otherwise. With a roll of her eyes, Harmony just turned around and took off as fast as she can. After all, there was no way that fake head she made was going to fool them long after the magic of the song lost its hold on all of the guards.

"We're a distraction!"

"Yes, you're a distraction!"

Yep... definitely not going to fool them long.


Rin's POV


"Are we ready?" I ask my fellow leaders. The plan was simple enough. Three of the four sides had fortifications built with an army stationed at each one. Celestia and Luna with their guards on the sides with Blueblood, Cadance, and Shining Armor at the back. Then, with all escape cut off My army would move in. Starting with a first wave of undead to clear any traps. Well, my attack plan is more complicated than that but we're just talking about trapping the invaders in for now.

"With the combination of our engineers, architects, enchanters, and those foxes, our fortifications are now complete in record time. All troops are in position and ready to decimate any enemy that might try to get through." Blueblood reported.

"What of the enemy?" Luna asked.

"They have not been idle. They have been building a stone fortress on top of their dungeon and filling it with all manner of creatures. Honestly, if I had not seen the raw numbers of skeletons that would be used in this coming battle I would call this plan suicidal. They've built their defenses well and even used the mote that was made to trap them in their designs." Blueblood answered as he brought up some pictures taken by the scouts. I can't help but frown at this. That was an impressive fortress. I wonder if I waited too long, but shake it off. Yes, I gave them more time to turtle up, but I really didn't want any of those guys getting loose in my world. As such it was best to finish cutting off all escape before attacking.

"What about the elements?" I asked.

"Twilight is running the support teams, ready to lend aid to whoever needs it. Fluttershy and Rarity are with the med teams, Pinkie Pie is with resource deployment... I have no idea where she got it but Pinkie has this giant canon that lets her shoot crates into the sky and parachute down where the supplies are needed with pinpoint accuracy. She even painted targets in several places in each camp so ponies will know it's a landing zone." Celestia explained.

"Lady Applejack will be with us in the coming battle, while Lady Rainbow Dash will accompany our sister," Luna added.

"So, we're all ready?" I ask getting nods of affirmation from all three. "Then let's give them Tartarus." I create a portal for Blueblood to take back to his camp while Celestia and Luna teleport themselves back to theirs. I walk back to my command station to give them time to give out any last orders. 'Alright, let's do this.' I think to myself as I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, put on a brave face, then marched into the room and sat in my command chair. "Charge up the projector, It's time."


The deep dark dungeon of dastardly doom!


Beth was not sure how to feel about her situation. On the one hand, as an epic dark mistress, she thrived on inflicting pain... or having it inflicted on her. So being able to enjoy getting to give a group of self-proclaimed goodly heroes the full treatment for a few days now is a dream come true for her. On the other hand, she and her lesser sisters have been keeping the torture session going for so long because they haven't been able to get anything out of their 'guests'.

None of them could figure it out, even the most stubborn of paladins would have cracked long ago. But they would not turn, nor would they talk. Had she not heard them cursing her and some dungeon keeper called Rin, she would have thought someone had just dressed up some animals and given them to her as a joke.

"Report!"

The shout made Beth jump. Her dark lord had a way to torment anyone who failed him. For the dark mistresses, he made what was simply called, 'The Box'. A masterwork of illusion that not only blocked all senses but messed with your perception of time as well. One day in the box was equal to one year of complete sensory deprivation. And try as she might, as she turned to her keeper, she couldn't think of a way out of getting put in the horrible thing.

"M-Master! These horse things are unnaturally strong-willed." She began nervously.

"I can see that you stupid bitch!" Keeper Valinars yelled angrily. "The fact that they are all still on the racks and not serving me tells me that much! Information! I want you to tell me what information you've managed to extract!"

Beth just stood there. What could she say when she failed to get anything from her victims. The moment she started questioning them they all just suddenly shut their mouths. Forget about information, she couldn't even get the Goodly Heroes to open their mouths to scream! She gulped in fear as she could only watch his eyes slowly narrow.

"The Box," Valinars said in an aggravated tone.

"No! Please master give me another chance!" Beth begged on hands and knees.

"The Box," Valinars repeated with an annoyed glair. He just watched as two black knights grabbed Beth by her arms and dragged her away kicking and screaming. No one said a word until the cries of the dark mistress could no longer be heard. Taking a deep, calming breath, Valinars spoke with exasperation. "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself."

"Steel Bones, Knight, Super Sugar Puffs." Said the earth pony he stopped in front of, making the Keeper blink in confusion.

"What?" Valinars asked.

"Our code, as stated by our founder, in the event we are captured there are only three pieces of information we are ever allowed to give. Our name, our rank, and for some reason, our favorite cereal. That's all we gave your slaves that's all we'll give you." The earth pony said with conviction.

"Oh please. You have no idea how many times similar remarks have been said, but everybody talks when they're on the rack. Some may last longer than others, but you'll crack just like the thousands that came before you." Valinars said with a condescending sneer before his face twisted into a sadistic smirk. "although, fair is fair, you lot have certainly lasted longer than most and my patience is reaching its end. So let's see how you handle the slow-cooked sausage and eggs. You will be hung up by chains on all your limbs. Then a single candle will be placed under your lower body with enough distance between you and the flame that it will just feel pleasantly warm at first. But as time passes your penis and testicles will get warmer and warmer until, after several hours, they will be cooked well done. At which point they will be slowly cut off and you will be forced to eat them. Every... last... bight. And do you know what the best part is?"

"That I'm just the opening act? That my friends will get to watch me suffer and you're going to do it to all of my companions one by one till one of us talks." Steel Bones replied angrily. "Your minions already did that, and I'm still ticked about that by the way."

Valinars paused at this before bending over to check and just as the pony said his private parts were gone. In fact, all of them were missing that all-important part of their bodies. Lifting his eyes to meet the eyes of his captives he only saw hate, accusation, and worst of all, defiance.

"That... has never failed before," Valinars admitted as he looked over the heroes with furrowed brows before giving a shrug. "Well, I do so hate to give a repeat performance. So let's see what you've already been through and work from there." At this, he turned and gestured to the remaining dark mistresses to list off all of the torture methods used against the prisoners.

The three dark mistresses looked between themselves with expressions of dread before all three began to attempt to force each other to step forward. Valinars sighed at this reaction as it could only mean that he was not going to like whatever it was they had to say.

"Ten... nine... eight..." Once they heard Valinars start counting down they became more desperate with their struggles. All of his minions knew that when their Keeper started counting down someone better answer him before he reaches zero or all of them get punished. "Three... two..." One of the three mistresses screamed as the other two pushed her towards the aggravated keeper. "One."

Fast as lightning the dark mistress moved from a sprawled position to a groveling one. "Oh, mighty Valinars, almighty lord of darkness, master of evil, killer of kings, destroyer of-" She began but Valinars quickly interrupted with an exaggerated clearing of his throat to prompt her to just get to the point. "We... can't think of any methods we haven't already tried. We've gone through every trick in the book but... nothing."

Valinars just looked down at the torture tools with an agitated expression. As much as he would like to break the heroes he knew he didn't have the time. The threat he made was a bluff he made in the hopes of getting intel on his adversary. Normally, the best option in this situation would be a war of attrition. With the never-ending flow of gems, he can build a lot of powerful defenses, and train powerful minions and so long as he had the portal he could just keep the resources coming.

However, Valinars did not believe in luck. What were the odds that so many gem seams would be growing right where he was setting up his latest heart? No, Valinars was sure that this place was naturally rich in gems. On top of that one of the stupidest things you could do against a necromancer was to get into a war of attrition with them. This other Keeper was obviously a powerful necromancer, or at the very least had one working for them, from all the undead they had in the army that ambushed his troops. Then there was that beautiful work of art that decimated his ogres and almost manage to land a finishing blow on his Overlord. Not to mention the strange behavior of his own undead. In the time he's been here he has been forced to destroy his own skeletons, exorcize his own ghosts and transfer his vampires to different dungeons back home because they kept looking off into space longingly. None of his warlocks were even able to figure out how the other Keeper was doing it!

Now on top of the three other wars he was already participating in back home, he was already being ganged up on in this new world as he was building his foundations. Valinars was running on too little information and he hated that. There was nothing he loved more than tearing his opponent's plans apart. To show how much smarter he is than everyone else and to really rub his superiority into their faces as they watch their plans and everything they hold dear crumble into dust around them.

Valinars turned to look off in the direction of the other Keeper's forces before turning to the communications mirror on the wall and with a wave of his hand the reflection of the room was replaced with the image of the undead army outside. He had felt a powerful pulse of magic just now and wanted to see what was going on. Over the undead, a massive illusion of some kind of fox was quickly taking shape.

"Greetings all fiends, monsters, horrors, and abominations!" The fox's magnified voice washed over the land as she spread her forepaws like a showman addressing an audience. "You are all now officially my bitches!"

Valinars just stared at the image just long enough to see the army start its march before turning to leave. If she wanted to be arrogant then he would humble her. He paused at the door to give the dark mistresses a contemplative look. On the one hand, they failed to get any information. On the other, there was about to be a battle and it would be a waste to just kill them now instead of just letting them die on the battlefield.

"... Come, prepare for battle," Valinars growled out. He waited for them to leave the room before using his hand of evil to dump several large barrels of oil all over the prisoners. If they were going to refuse to be of use, then he would just git rid of them now. Using his hand of evil to cast a weak fire spell he set the heroes on fire as he closed the steel doors. He couldn't help but smirk at the sounds of the heroes screaming their last curses at him as he walked away.


Deep within the Everfree.


"When I'm in charge I'm tossing every last one of those ideots out on the street." Harmony said with a deadpan. She had managed to make it to a hidden boat that was waiting for her under a bridge leading out of the city. Not that she was complaining about her freedom but after those two mares literally telling the guards they were being tricked she expected some kind of reaction. But she was able to leave the city unhindered and didn't see any sign that the royal guard was doing anything! There is being outclassed and then there is being incompetent.

Harmony had just left her boat and was trotting through the Everfree Forest. She found it strange that she was actually hoping to spot some guards flying through the air over the trees or moving in search groups to hunt her down.

"And they had been showing so much improvement too." She said with a disappointed sigh as she entered a cave hidden by powerful illusion magic fueled by the magic of the Everfree Forest itself so as to blend in better. She walked past several powerful defenses set up by her long ago until she came upon a vault. With a shaky breath, she opened it and looked at the only object that it held. Gulping, Harmony carefully picked up the small pouch and brought it up to her face, giving the unassuming item a nervous look.

"It worked for her, it can work for me. It worked for her, it can work for me." Harmony chanted to herself as she was drawing a ritual circle on the ground with chalk. It wasn't an aspect but it was made as a corrupt copy of the power she once held. A cheap attempt at attaining godhood. As such, she was sure she could make this work until she could get her aspect back. Sitting in the circle, she gave one last moment of hesitation at what she was about to do... And swallowed Tirek's black rainbow.