Opening Theme:
Looking around at all the hippie ponies, you realize there's no good in just randomly yelling. Besides, maybe one of these dazed freaks actually knows something. You turn to Tree Hugger behind the counter and say.
"Alright, we'll question them when they come back, do you mind if we ask around the commune?"
"It's a free world man...like, there's no such thing as private property. Our land is your land..."
"Uh-huh, I'm not gonna argue why that's stupid and just move on,"
"Right on man," she says with a smile.
Rolling your eyes you exit the little shop and into the commune proper.
"Alright, let's see if any of these nuts have any info."
"I don't know CV, it's already the evening, shouldn't we find a place to rest and ask questions tomorrow?" Aqua suggests.
"NO! We've been walking for two weeks while these guys have played bongo drums, we do this now," you snap.
"But the moon's already coming up..." she whines.
"Well that just means we have more light," you say as you walk to a hut that all the hippies seem to be walking towards. The sign above the door reads, Information.
Kichi's Comment
As you walk inside, followed begrudgingly by Aqua and a chipper Nightshade, you find that it is covered in a smoke so thick it might as well be mist.
"What the heck? I thought this was the information hut," you exclaim to the source of the smoke, a bunch of ponies around a fire pit in the center of the room.
"This is the information room man...you mind can awake to all kinds of stuff..." says one of them giggling.
"Daddy... It smells funny around here" comments Nightshade.
"Uh-Oh!" you cry as you see her wobbling.
"Nightshade honey, maybe it's best if you wait outside the door, you know, to alert us if you see them" you say as you push her out of the fumes.
"But why daddy? Everything's funny" Nightshade giggles as she looks up at the sky.
"Err...." you begin before
"Oh wow, look at all the Pink Elephants on Parade!" she shrieks pointing up to the empty sky.
"Okay... Now I'm beginning to get worried..." says Aqua as Nightshade continues to giggle.
Why did you allow her into that room?! Selena growls.
I didn't know it was half baked central!
"What's that pink elephants? You come from the moon?...No...that's not right..." she says contemplatively as her pupils widen. "Mom did...I came from she who came from the moon...The moon is mine...it's all so clear now!" she says as he horn begins to glow.
"Umm, Honey, do you need some water or..."
Suddenly the ground begins to Quake.
As you try to regain your balance, Nightshade just giggles and says.
"Thank you Pink Elephants, my destiny is nigh..."
"What are you...?" you begin as you look up at the sky and your jaw drops. Aqua follows your vision and she follows suit.
MEANWHILE IN CANTERLOT
"Ummm... Lulu, why is the moon coming towards Equis at an alarming rate of speed?" Celestia asks in worry, staring out her window.
"It's not me, I swear! It could just be orbital wobble," Luna says as she lights up her horn halting the moon.
"Well aren't you going to put it back into place?" asks Celestia.
"I'm trying, but it won't budge! It's as if somepony has hijacked my moon!" Luna says as she grits her teeth. Suddenly, the opposing force is gone and Luna lets out a sigh of relief as she places the moon back into it's normal orbit.
"Well thank goodness for that," sighs Celestia before turning to her sister. "Do you know how this could happen?"
"I'm not sure. Unicorns have not moved the moon since we took rule...I am honestly at a loss for how this occurred," Luna pants.
"*Gasp*MaybewhathappenedwasthatNightmareMoon,aftershemanagedtoenterthe bodyofastupidandunluckychangeling,somehowhadadaughterwithhimforvengeanceonlytocometolovebothofthem,butnotbeforethechangelingbecamethenumberonevillainandherointhelandtryingtofindothervillainsonlytoaccidentallygetdosedwithvisiondrugs,causingthedaughtertowantthemoonforherself?" comes a rapid fire bubbly voice.
Luna and Celestia look at the Pink Pony who wasn't there a second ago as the two guards in the doorway rub their eyes trying to understand how she appeared.
"Pinkie...When did you get here?" asks a confused Celestia.
"Yes, and what in the world did you just say? You spoke to fast to understand," asks the flabbergasted Luna.
"Oh, I'm just here for cutaway comedic nonsensical purposes, don't think about it." she says not answering their questions at all.
"Ummm"
"Here, have some cupcakes, I gotta go be random elsewhere, Bye!" she yells as she hands them each a cupcake and sprints through a secret passageway that also wasn't there before.
Both sisters sit their flabbergasted.
"Did that happen?" asks Luna.
"Don't question it Luna" Celestia sighs.
"But... How... why... Since when is there a secret passage in there?"
"I said not to question it! For all we know she was the one pulling on the moon."
Back With You When the Moon Was Still Being Pulled
"Whoah, gnarly light show man..." says a hippie spectator. There are quite a few looking up at the moon in awe.
"Umm, Nightshade, pretty please stop trying to destroy all life on the planet!" you beg as she continually giggles, pulling the moon down till it suddenly stops.
"Awwww, No fair. I want it more..." she moans and continues to try and tug it down.
HOW?! How can she be this strong?!
I truly do not know. I never knew her powers went to THIS extent! This must be the result of Lu...Her Blood...
The Moon is beautiful...it's destruction cleansing and fantastic...Sombra druggedly contemplates.
"Gragh! Nightshade, put the moon back or you're grounded again!"
"Awww, but I just want to put it into my inventory..." she groans.
Dang it! She's dead set. If only there was something we could distract her with...
Just then, from out of the smokey hut comes a familiar red teenaged dragon, his eyes equally red.
"Aha! At last I have found you my nemesis! I have spoke to the world and the world has spoken back!" Garble says with a goofy grin.
Nightshade's horn stops glowing, causing the moon to go back to where it once was as she looks over to Garble.
"Oh! A giant Spike with wings! But not nearly as cute or charming," she giggles. The blazed dragon begins giggling himself.
"That's right nemesis! My mind has been opened, and I have seen things! I will beat you! One day I WILL get Crackle back! I knows it!"
"Yay! Let's go play" Nightshade shouts as she lunges forth, tackling him to the ground before punching him in the nards!
"AAAAAHHHH!!! The visions have lied!" he yells in pain as Nightshade keeps kicking him up and down the road and giggling.
"...Well that works I guess," you say as you watch the spectacle.
Aqua, who has been in shock since the moon think, whips her head to you and asks,
"OK, CV, HOW IN THE BUCK DID SHE JUST DO THAT MOON STUFF?!"
"I...actually don't know. It's the first time she's done it."
"But-I...How do you have an alicorn kid that can do that? Did you knock up Princess Luna or something?!" she asks flabbergasted.
"W-what?! No, of course not! I think I would've remembered something like that," you say with a blush.
And if that whorse ever did try, she would regret it! Selena snarls.
"But...she..."
"Aqua, this is one of those things where you just don't question it OK? Your mind will thank you for it."
Aqua gives you a unsure look before sighing and saying,
"Alright, if you say so..."
"AH! My leg isn't supposed to bend that way!" comes Garble's pained voice
"Not with that attitude it isn't!" Nightshade giggles.
"Alright, now to take your mind off of that world shattering event, why don't you just watch Shade kick that dragon's flanks while I go back in and investigate?"
She looks at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, but what about you? Will you be fine in there?"
You ponder this for a second before you say,
"Nah, trust me when I say I've been drugged enough times to be immune to the effect."
Yeah, that'll work. Better then saying I have a mare in my head pushing the drugs from my system into a tyrannical king to keep him in la la land and off my back.
The truth is sometimes stranger than fiction
And la la land is under my rule now. I have usurped it's colorful power...the drug fiend exposits.
"If you say so," Aqua says as she turns around to watch the fight, a group of hippies joining her.
"Usually I'm against violence, but this is awesome," says a ponytail sporting stallion.
With that said you enter and continue to explore the rest of the building. As you explore you notice...
Kersey's Comment
A stallion with a sewing machine making colorful quilts. The thing about the quilts is that they have patterns of cutie marks on them. Some of them pretty familiar to you. Raising an eyebrow, you walk over to him and his pile and take a look.
You see a few of Celestia and Luna, but then you start seeing the marks of all the Deadly 6. Each quilt corresponding to their colors as well.
"Huh, pretty good work you got here," you tell him.
"Thanks bro. I make these for the market. The Elements sure make a groovy penny."
You then notice how there are several more yellow quilts with butterflies on them than the rest.
Seeing the yellow quilt does it's purpose and reminds you of Fluttershy, and then you feel kind of sad. It's been a few months, and the last time she saw you, you ate Sombrero alive. You sigh at this, because unlike Cadance, you don't have a direct connection with which to apologize to her. Or the rest for that matter.
If I ever see her and them again, it's going to be an awkward apology.
To get your thoughts off this, you ask the stallion,
"So why are there so many Fluttershy's compared to the rest?"
"Oh, well she's Kindness you know? She's my top seller. And who doesn't like Butterflies? Besides, she's kind of my muse ever since I saw her in that Celestia's Secret issue."
"I know right? There were only limited copies, but I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of one before-NO BAD BUG!!!" you yell as you stop that conversation before it begins.
"I know right? It was pretty sick. It's almost as sick as the super rare limited edition of Spitfire's shoot that I got at Rainbow Falls," he gloats.
"No freaking way! That exists?! How much did you pay fo-NO BUG! STOP IT!" you yell as you tear yourself away from the stallion and walk through the rest of the hut.
Cut it out Bugze, you got a job to do. No imagining Fluttershy and Spitfire in lingerie, no imagining them together on a bed with linge-STOP IT!
Really? Are you really having those immature thoughts now?
...I plead the Fifth! ....What's the Fifth?
Shaking off that weird thought and ignoring Selena's comeback you continue looking around the building.
And, aside from a lot of them "Opening Their Minds," there isn't much you can gather, except that everyling seems to be having a great time.
"Ugh, is there anyling that can give me any useful information in here?" you groan.
"Well, it is dinner time now man, you can, like...join us," says a mare as she walks past you and out the door.
Looking around at all the shuffling ponies, you shrug and join their exodus from the Information hut.
LATER AT DINNER
After meeting back up with a much more down to earth and clear headed Nightshade, who apparently hit Garble so hard she sent him flying off into the distance, the three of you head off to eat dinner. Thanks to the hospitality of the hippies, or the fact that they're too high to care, you all get to eat free. However....
BrownDog's Comment
Kersey's Comment
The 'dinner,' if you can even call it that, is just plain reprehensible and disgusting. The "Burrito" is just a leaf of lettuce, with more leaves rolled inside, and the "Pizza" is nothing but Lettuce with a cut tomato on top. Nightshade especially takes it badly.
“HOW CAN YOU EAT THIS GARBAGE?!!! WHERE'S THE REAL PIZZA?! WHERE'S MY ARTERY CLOGGING GOODNESS?! WHERE’S ALL THE DESERT?!!!” she shrieks at the top of her lungs.
“Calm down little missy, sugar and oils are like really bad for you and…” Tree Hugger tries to explain, only to get Nightshade’s plate of “Food” thrown right in her face.
“CHOKE ON MY HATRED!!!” she roars as she runs across the different picnic tables, kicking everyling’s plate into the dirt.
"Not cool bro...not cool," Tree Hugger groans.
The rest of the hippies all give you a glare and you just chuckle and rub the back of your head as you think,
Well...I guess all those anti-hippie lessons Grandbuggy taught me somehow became genetic.
I would argue that genetics don't work like that...but seeing as how she nearly pulled down the moon not too long ago...
"I WILL SPREAD OIL ALL OVER YOUR CROPS FOR YOUR SINS!!!"
Yeahhhh...
Speaking of Grandbuggy's lessons, you can't help but have a flashback to one of his very first ones...
FLASHBACK
"Now *&^%#$, I know I already told you about 'slapping-hippies-until-they-get-a-haircut-and-a-real-job', but that only applies to the stallions. Hippie MARES are another more sensual creature entirely. Don't even need a disguise thanks to that whole 'free love' thing they spout. Heck, I remember one time I banged 5 at once, and let me tell you the things these mares coul-"
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!" you yell covering your ears.
FLASHBACK OVER
Need for brain bleach aside, you think with a shudder, At least I know if I get caught they won't rat me out...Unfortunately if I get caught they might be into me...
While you were having a flashback, it seems a shaggy looking pony with a brown Great Dane managed to calm down your daughter. The Great Dane, however, looks like its about to faint from the non-stop petting from her.
You hear a mechanical humph emerge from your inventory as you turn and see Mangle crossing her arms and glaring at the scene. Rolling your eyes, you turn back as Hippies pick up their plates of food off the ground.
You aren’t sure…but you swear you hear Nightshade talking to the dog and getting answered back…
“Oh great, I’m getting a proximity high!”
No you’re not. If you were, I’d be siphoning it as usually.
“Oh right…but still…”
After the dog escapes from Nightshade's grasp in a cartoony manner, she comes back to the table and chuckles nervously at the glaring Mangle, who gives her the cold shoulder.
It's then that Tree Hugger walks back up to your group.
"So, like, we really think the filly could use some chill. You should totally come join us at the bonfire," she says as you notice the others piling wood in a pile.
To this, you have one question.
"Will there be bongo drums?"
"Of course dude, we'll be playing all night and..."
"Aqua, Shade, we're going camping. Thanks for the dinner!" you shriek as you pick up Nightshade and run as far as you can from the drums.
As you three look back from the outskirts of the commune, Aqua harumphs and asks,
"We've been roughing it for two weeks, that had places to stay there. Probably even some beds."
"Yeah, but I am NOT going to be listening to bongos all night. Besides, it's a nice clear night, we can camp again."
Rolling their eyes, but accepting your reasoning, Aqua and Nightshade set up camp and prepare to go to sleep. However...
Master of Shadow's Comment
Just when you are about to go to sleep a raindrop hits you in the snout. After a couple more times you get up to see a storm cloud hanging directly above you, and only you. Aqua and Nightshade are drier than dirt. When you try to move it follows you and only rains on you. After a quick curse to lady luck you decide to go to bed even with the rain.
"Bullspit...why me?"
Up on the cloud, a tan pegasus with a headband giggles as he makes the cloud storm.
"Dis my bongos will ya?"
THE NEXT MORNING
When questioned why you were soaking wet, you had this to say,
"Lady Bucking Luck."
As bask in the sun to dry yourself off you can't help but wonder,
Dear Luna, Where are those Goops and Stuff bosses? I just want to know where the buck those Knights are!
BrownDog's Comment
ThePonySpartan's Comment
MEANWHILE…BETWEEN THE TWO WEEKS AND NOW
The former Knight Changer feels the sensation of moving and blinks his eyes open. He sees the inside of a wagon and bottles and bottles of…shampoo?
He groans as he sits up from his resting spot, apparently it’s a bean bag chair.
What happened? The building collapsed…that Bounty Hunter was there and… he then winces in pain at his left foreleg which is in a cast.
“What the buck happened?!” he growls out.
“Spartan! You’re awake comes the happy cries of some idiot who glomps the injured unicorn, causing him to wince at the bruises all over his body.
“AAGGGHHH!!! I’m injured you idiot!”
“Well yeah,” comes another voice, “you kind of fell out of the sky for some reason. We figured you fell out of the afterlife so we bandaged you up.”
“And boy are we glad you’re not dead Spartan.”
“My names not Spartan! Get off me! Who are you?!” he yells as he tries to push them off.
The two glomping figures get off of him and pull their hoods down, revealing a pony and a diamond dog (who’s wearing sunglasses).
“Heya buddy, it’s your old pals Snap Drake and Brown Dog,” says the diamond dog with a smile.
“Yeah, I mean it seems you’ve forgotten your name, but how could you’ve forgotten about us?” asks Snap.
Changer’s eyes widen in surprise before they squint in anger as he suddenly lunges forward and starts choking Brown Dog with his magic, landing on top of him.
“GRRAAAGGHHH!!!” he yells.
“Oh- Hey-Loos-en-Up-On-The-Throat-Hugs-Spart-An,” the Brown Dog gasps out as he is being throttled.
“I don’t think he’s giving you a throat hug, I think he’s trying to kill you,” Snap says nonchalantly as he witnesses the scene.
“What?-Nah-He-Would-n’t-do-that,”
“DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH DIE!” roars out the angry unicorn.
“Are you sure about that?” asks Snap Drake as he watches on.
“I’m-Gack-Sure-“ he gasps.
"I'll make this quick so NO ONE can interfere!"
"O-Kay-Now-It's-My-Turn-" Brown Dog gasps as he wraps his paws around Spartan’s horn and neck and squeezes, cutting off the magic pressure allowing him to breathe.
“I guess you’re right, he always did joke around. And your mom is a bitch, so it’s funny,” Snap says as he and Brown Dog start chuckling.
Changer looks at their laughing faces and gasps as he's choked, “The-Buck’s-the-Matter-With-You-Two?”
“Here, grab more brownies, he needs to mellow out after coming back from the dead,” the diamond dog says.
“Get that crap away from me!” he says getting loose from the stranglehold.
“Oh man, this is just like the old times!” Snap says as he’s kicked in the face.
The other hippies in the cart just watch on with amusement.
LATER DURING THOSE WEEKS
Changer, Brown Dog, and Snap Drake are all sitting in bean bag chairs listening to Bob Cartley.
“So Kersey turned into a freaking Kaiju?” asks the Brown Dog.
“Yes. I had him right where I wanted him, but that stupid guard got in the way. I have no idea how I ended up in the sky, but I’m willing to bet he had something to do with it.”
“Oh, well there goes my theory that I had the ability to ironically wish people back from the dead,” pouts the diamond dog.
“Dang, that was kind of my theory on how you got so powerful, afterlife powers and all,” exposits Snap.
“I was never dead! I’ve been over this! I got power and was hunting you guys down, but two Hunters kept getting in my way” Changer says with a facehoof.
“So wait…you’re telling us, that Kichi, Solarkness, Rutherford and Kersey are now all in custody…and that they all got taken in by the same bounty hunter?” asks Snap as he drinks a cider.
“Yes!” Changer hisses, still holding his leg in a sling. “The Crimson Vengeance and that waterbender Aqua have been getting in my way of revenge over and over again, and I have no idea where they’ve taken them!”
“Holy Balls. That’s why we haven’t heard from Silver Strange!” Brown Dog says as he slaps both paws to his cheeks.
“You’d think this kind of thing would make news,” says Snap.
“It has made news. How have you two not heard of this? It’s been going on for like 2 months.”
“We uh…don’t really read the papers…” Brown Dog says as he sips his cider.
“That and we’ve been practically partying the whole time,” Snap adds.
“That too.”
Changer facehooves again. “I can’t believe I thought you two were threats…”
“Hey now, don’t knock it. You used to party with us Spartan.”
“CHANGER!!! My name is Changer! You’re all the ones who gave me that name!”
“Well duh! It was a nickname. It meant you were tough like the old warriors. Don’t you remember us giving it to you after you chugged that entire bottle of Jack Spaniels and fought that Minotaur mugger,” Brown Dog admonishes.
“I…actually don’t remember that,” Changer reflects.
“Well I’m not surprised, that dude messed all of us up. Luckily, the lady that was getting mugged bashed him over the head with that bottle,” chuckles Snap.
“I…” he shakes his head.
“Yeah, good times.”
“If they were good times, then why did you all leave me to die?”
“Leave you to…Hey, we didn’t leave you bro,” Brown Dog says.
“Yes you did, all of you!”
“Nuh-uh. After the accident, we tried looking for your body, but there’s not much we can do when everything is on fire,” Snap adds.
“I…”
“Yeah, and then the cops showed up to see why there was so much fire and whatnot, and the others said we had to skedaddle.”
“We thought you were dead man. We didn’t know. There was no way we could. After that, none of us got together in big groups anymore. We kind of just did our own thing,” explains Snap.
“…” Changer just looks down in thought.
“Hey, we all got shook up…well most of us anyway, Kersey is Kersey, and Grey and Erised are just insane, so yeah…”
Changer still looks like he’s in contemplation, so Brown Dog and Snap Drake hold up their drinks to him.
“Now come on bro, if there’s one thing these hippie chicks have taught us, it’s to just ride the waves of life, right Wheat Grass?”
“You got it Dawg…” said mare says.
“Yeah, cheers to the destruction of our once great fan club,” Brown Dog toasts.
Changer rolls his eyes as they drink, but there is a slight smirk at the corner of his mouth.
Suddenly, Snap Drake spits out his drink.
“OH CRUD!”
“What?” asks the diamond dog.
“If Kersey’s in jail…how the buck are we getting paid?!”
The dog’s eyes widen and can be seen even under the glasses as the realization hits him.
“Ohhhhhh…Balls…” he then turns to Changer. “Did you at least hit him really hard?”
“You’re damn right I did,” Changer says with a dark chuckle.
BrownDog let's out a sigh at this, before his eyes widen and he says
Kersey's Comment
"Wait, I just remembered something!" BrownDog says as he starts looking through his pockets, "Lint... string... crowbar... fireworks launcher-"
"Hey, you said you lost that," Snap Drake cries out, but is ignored.
"Got it!" the dog proclaims before taking out a sheet of paper that looks pretty messy.
"A tissue?" Changer snarks.
"No, don't you remember? Kersey gave us all maps to a 'Secret Emergency Funds Stash'...that he apparently drew on the back of a used napkin."
"Eh, it was probably during one of his rants about 'not keeping up with paperwork' so I probably used mine as toilet paper," Snap Drake shrugs
“Eh, probably got more use out of it that way heh heh…Flax! More Brownies please!” orders Brown Dog.
“You guys are insane…” says a more relaxed Changer.
“Nah, we’re just having fun. Grey and Erised are the insane ones remember?” Snap Drake reminds him.
Changer sighs at this before saying,
"You two are idiots. But... you did save my life."
"So... are we friends?" Brown Dog asks.
"Idiotic friends you two are... but friends nonetheless."
BrownDog and SnapeDrake cheer and raises their bottles, Changer joining them as they have a drink. The rest of the two weeks were pretty fun.
BACK TO YOU
After lying in the sun for Luna knows how long, Nightshade tugs at your coat.
"Daddy, there's a bunch of wagons pulling in. I think it's those bosses we were waiting for."
You look up and see about 5 wagons with the Goops and Stuff logo on it.
"Alright, let's get this over with," you say in determination.
You put Nightshade in your inventory (No Need For Her To Be Breathing The Air Again) and see several hippie clad ponies unloading.
"Oi! Any of you guys Flax Seed or Wheat Grass?" Aqua calls out.
"Yo, right here dudes," says a mare in bellbottom jeans, standing next to a spaced out stallion with curly hair.
"Hi, I'm the Crimson Vengeance, and this is Aqua. We're bounty hunters. Are you the owners of Goops and Stuff?"
"Whoah, harsh man. Yeah, we're the owners. What's up?"
"We're looking for two wanted criminals, and we have reason to believe they have or will stop by your shop for a money order," Aqua explains.
"Whoa, like...that's heavy..." Flax seed exposits.
"Extremely," you say with a roll of your eyes, "Now, have you seen anyling going by the name Snap Drake or Brown Dog in the last 2 weeks?"
"Oh you mean Drake and Dog? They're right over there with their old buddy," Wheat Grass points out with a smile.
Your eyes widen as you turn and see...
"Gorramn Evee! Quit using up my pokeballs!"
"It's a high cp, you're going to be losing them anyway,"
"At least let me do it, I got individual digits!"
"Buck off, it's mine!"
A pony with a Joy Boy, surrounded by a diamond dog...and the book guy who's wearing a cast! The one holding the game and the diamond dog have their cloaks on with the hoods off.
You share a look with Aqua, before nodding to each other and running up to them, you flipping the switch on your mask to bear your teeth.
"Crimson Knights BrownDog and SnapeDrake and...Book Guy!" you call out, causing all of them to look up from the game and at you.
"Aw crud, are those the two bounty hunters Spartan?" asks Snap Drake.
"Yes," he seethes, "Always showing up..."
"Really? Man, I thought we'd have more time," pouts Brown Dog.
Ignoring their in talk, you growl out in your menacing voice filter.
"You are all under arrest for terrorist activates, multiple counts of vandalism, public drunkeness, mass destruction and the attempted murder of Michael Beigh not that I would have minded him being severely injured. But still, your path ends here!"
The three figures stare you down, and you prepare yourself for a fight.
Finally! Time to kick some Knight flank!
What do you d-
"Wait a second man!"
What the!? Who interrupted my ending question!?!?
"Huh?" you say taken aback.
"I said wait a second," repeats the diamond dog wearing sunglasses.
"Um...for what?" you ask.
"You're the guy that took down Kichi, Solarkness, Rutherford and Kersey right?" asks Snap Drake.
"Well yeah, and you as well! So don't get any bright ideas or-"
"Yeah, alright, we give up," the diamond dog says as he and the other cloaked pony raise their arms in the air.
"...WHAT?!" you growl out in shock.
"We give up. You can take us in," repeats Snap Drake.
You stare at the trio, Brown Dog and Snap Drake look content, while Changer just sneers.
You turn back to Aqua who looks at you and shrugs. You turn back to them.
"Uh-D-D-Don't think we'll fall for that trick! You guys can't outwit us! We're ready for anything you can-"
"Oh for the love of Jack Spaniels, just arrest us already, this is getting boring," Brown Dog groans.
"Yeah dude, we don't have all day here," says Snap Drake impatiently.
You stare at them and realize...they are being absolutely serious.
"Wh-what? Really? You're just giving up?"
"Ugh, finally he realizes it," Snap quips.
"I know right? I bet he's making all kinds of stupid surprised faces under that mask," Brown Dog chuckles.
You look back and forth and the two knights and you are making some pretty stupid faces, but it's because you can't wrap your mind around the situation.
"W-Why? Why are you just giving up?! I don't understand!" you growl.
"Well for one, you've taken in over half our buddies...and Kersey, and every time you have, stuff's gotten wrecked, and we don't want our Hippie friends getting hurt" says Snap.
"Also, we're flat broke at the moment, and with Kersey gone we're kind of not getting paid, so why even give a buck anymore?" adds Brown Dog.
"Yeah, fighting and running away...that sounds like too much effort."
You can hear in their voices that they have no bucks to give. They bleed laziness.
"Soooo...we're NOT going to have a big epic battle causing all kinds of destruction and mayhem, utilizing our surroundings in fun and creative ways?"
"Nah."
"Yeah, that sounds like too much work."
You can't believe, you literally can't believe it.
"So that's it then? You're just willingly coming with us where you'll be thrown in some jail?" Aqua speaks up.
"Sure, I mean, we were gonna have to go sometime right?" says the dog.
"Besides, it's where Spartan's heading, and we'd rather stick with our good buddy," Snap says as he gives a shoulder hug to Changer.
"It's Changer! How many times do I have to tell you?"
"Apparently a lot more Spartan," says Brown Dog with a smirk.
Changer sighs, "You guys are idiots..."
"What do they mean, 'where you're going Book Guy'? And how are you not dead?" you ask suspiciously.
He sighs and facehooves. "Can no one bucking learn my name..." he growls before looking back up at you in a serious manner.
"I don't have time to be dead..."
"Plus he landed on our bean bag chairs," adds Snap.
"...Yes, that too...Bounty Hunter, You are going for the last of the knights after this, correct?"
You raise an eyebrow at the question. "Yes. I'm putting all of you in jail, it's kind of my thing you know?!"
You watch as Changer thinks for a bit more, anticipating any sorcerer attacks he might throw
"Fine... Then I give up as well. You win, bounty hunter."
Your eyes widen, "H-huh?! You too?"
"See, we told ya so," says Brown Dog.
"Yeah, and we're sticking to our buddy like glue," boasts Snap.
"They're all giving up...just like that..." Aqua mutters.
This seems...way too convenient. I have never, ever seen a situation like this!
Ha ha...they think they'll get mercy...but the filly overlord will not give it to them...
"OK, these guys seem...counterproductive, but why are you giving in so easily? Aren't you all 'REVENGE IS MY FETISH" and all that?"
He chuckles. "If I get sent to jail, then I will be put in the same place as all the other knights, will I not?"
You stare at him in disbelief. "Oh Sweet Luna, it IS your fetish. You'd actually get sent to jail just for you to have your revenge?"
Changer gives a dark smile. "Of course."
You wonder if you should actually let this guy be in prison before he says something that catches your attention.
"We both win in this situation. You get your... bounty, and I get my opportunity to get my revenge."
Money money money...
You sigh. "Alright...jeez, you need help man. And what about them? Aren't they on your revenge list?
"No, not anymore. Idiots and morons they may be...but these two I know are my friends...much as it pains me to admit."
"Oh you're not far behind, get off your high horse buddy," Snap chuckles.
"What?" Flax Seed looks up.
"Not you Flax," Brown Dog calls out. "But yeah, we're all idiots and morons man. Remember that time you walked into that Police Station and peed on the front desk because of that dare?"
He gives a perplexing look at the diamond dog.
"WHY would you say that out loud right now?"
"Because it's funny?"
"Shush!" he admonishes.
"Well it is kind of funny," you chuckle.
"You shut it too!...But yes, we will all be turning ourselves in."
"Well...if that's the case then...wow. Thank you," you say as you relax. "But before you do, I have some questions about..."
"And we know where Grey Rebl and Erised are," he finishes.
"This can't be that easy!" you shriek.
"Dude, don't look a gift horse in the mouth...or rather, two ponies and a diamond dog," Snap Drake chuckles.
"I...fine. Where are they?"
"The loony bin," Brown Dog answers.
"Where?" you ask confused.
"The nuthouse," Snap responds.
"What does that mean?"
Changer sighs, "They're in Arkhay Asylum."
Your eyes widen, "They're literally in a crazy house? Why? What are they doing there?"
All three of them just shrug.
"Don't know red guy, just where they've been," Brown Dog answers.
"They always were kind of nuts, and coming from us that says something," Snap adds.
"Quite so. Now you have your information. Let's hurry along... I'll be waiting for them," Changer smirks.
"Yeah, then we'll all be together again," Snap smiles.
"Good times...Good times," Brown Dog agrees.
"Uhh... okay then," you say to the three cooperating Knights
1 Week Later
Okay...so that happened. You traveled with the three knights to the nearest town to turn them in. Changer refused hoofcuffs since they were cooperating, and Brown Dog and Snap Drake followed suit. Since they were cooperative, you let it slide. You turned them in and received 3,000 bits for all three, which you split. It was weird how nonchalant and...happy they seemed to be going to prison. For different reasons most likely, but still, they didn't put up much of a fuss. Also Brown Dog handed you a greasy crumpled up tissue map that he said came from Kersey. When asked why, he responded,
"It'll probably piss him off that I gave away money to the guy that captured all of us, and that will be hilarious."
Sooo, yeah. The Crimson Vengeance's fame had increased once again, and you and Aqua hit the road once more. Along the way, you did come across Kersey's "Secret Stash" but...
"What the buck is this?" you cried out as you opened the unearthed chest.
Dear treasure seeker, greedy/financially-incompetent CK leader, or somepony I don't like,
I bet you're wondering where the "Emergency Fund Stash" or treasure is. The truth is THERE IS NONE YOU DUMB BUCK! If you're wondering why, that depends on what you are;
-Treasure Hunters: Haven't you heard of what curiosity did to the cat.
-Crimson Knight Leader: It's your own gorram fault for being reckless with your finances
-Somepony I Don't Like: Buck you from beyond the grave (or at least from behind the safety of my safehouse)
Burn in Tartarus you son of a c...
"Okay, I'm not saying that aloud," you winced at the curse word and continued reading.
-Kersey
P.S. This note has been magically modified to cause the bomb to explode as soon as you've reached the trigger-swear... but if it did explode then you wouldn't have reached this part anyway so HA!
"Well this is a bust!" you yell as you froze the chest with the bomb in it and threw it into the river.
With that time taken away, you traveled onward to the outskirts of Tall Tale, where the eponymous Arkhay Asylum resides. As if to punctuate that, a bolt of lightning strikes behind the complex ominously.
After the lightning bolt, Aqua looks to you.
"OK CV, two more names are in there somewhere. How we gonna handle this?"
You look at the massive Asylum, and it's sheer size could put a stadium to shame. But you don't have any other information about Grey Rebl and Erised. What they're doing in there, if they have plans. If they'd be on the look out for a certain red clad bounty hunter with all their friends gone. You simply have no other info.
"Well Aqua, as of right now, we need to gather intel. And we can't exactly do that by asking around, they might catch wind. We need to know what's going on inside."
"Alright, so how are we going to do that?"
"You, are going to stay out here and keep an eye on Nightshade, I am going to go gather the intel," you say as you start taking off your Crimson Vengeance disguise.
"What? And how are you going to do that?"
You take off your hat and say,
"Well it's an insane asylum right? They won't just let anyling in. I'm gonna go and commit myself," you say nonchalantly causing Aqua's eyes to widen.
Oh for the love of me, Selena punctuates with an audible facehoof.
WHAT DO YOU DO?...FOR REALS THIS TIME!
Outro:
Ken Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul.
He started out okay before slowly losing it over time.
Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
She just is.
Pinkie Pie...
Wow.
Uh... okay. Definitely wasn't expecting that, but A'ight. Guess I'll get to commenting...
====
"CV hold up a minute." Aqua stops you. "Arkhay isn't some normal asylum; it's where they throw all the most dangerous criminal masterminds, the ones normal prisons won't take. I doubt they're just going to let you check yourself in like it's a hotel."
"So?" you ask, "I'll just have to act a little extra insane so that they let me in."
"That should be no great struggle for you." Selena snarks.
Aqua's about to object, but then she remembers how you can get sometimes, especially when robots or fire are involved, and lowers her hoof. "Alright then. So how do we know if you find anything out? And if the knights are up to something, what then?"
"Uuuhh..." you droll, "We'll figure out all that later. Grey and Erised could be up to anything, heck they could be patients for all we know. Right now we need to gather info so we can make a plan."
"So we plan to improvise? That sounds pretty risky CV." Aqua tells you.
"Improvising has worked pretty well in the past." you reason. Thinking back, it's almost like Lady Luck gives you constant breaks when it counts, and takes her payment in the form of humiliating you everywhere else. And isn't that a scary thought? "I'm sure things will be fine. Just... Aqua, make sure that no matter what happens, take care of Nightshade for me, 'kay?"
"I..." Aqua says, taken aback, "Okay CV, just... don't get all dark and serious on me like that. Freaks me out."
"And Nightshade, you behave yourself while I'm gone. Alright?" You say to Nightshade as you finish folding up your bounty hunter suit and putting it into you inventory. You realize if this is gonna work, you'll have to leave most, if not all of your gear with Nightshade and Aqua while you do your investigating. And you already feel naked without all your weapons.
"Alright Daddy. See you when you get back from the crazy house!" she says while taking you inventory for you.
You smile at her and turn back to Aqua. "Alright. Are you ready for this?"
"Ready for what?" she asks.
You smirk at her, making her look back worriedly.
---
The armored front doors of Arkhay Asylum burst open as a bounty hunter drags in a captured changeling, barely retrained by the mouth gag and hoofcuffs she's holding him in. As he thrashes and snarls in a dramatic fashion, making it hard for her to hold on, she beings him up to the front desk where a red-maned mare sits behind a sheet of spellproof glass.
"Got another one for you. Caught him just this morning." Aqua says as the mare stares blankly back at the two of you. "And boy is this one crazy, he really needs your help. Take a listen." Aqua pulls the gag our of your mouth.
"Twilight and her friends are expendable puppets of the Princess! Celestia is secretly diabetic! Machines are evil and trying to take over the world! I'll never buy the extended warranty for that refrigerator! Never! EEEEEVIL!" you cream at the top of your lungs and in the craziest sounding voice you can manage. Really it's not that hard. And it actually feels pretty good to get these things off your chest. "Santa Hooves is a marketing ploy by toy manufacturers to sell more toys during the holidays! Hearths Warming is about being friends so you don't freeze to death! It ruined my childhood! Soylent green is ponies!"
The two of you look to see if your act is paying off, but the mare behind the counter has barely reacted to you at all, almost like she doesn't know you're there.
"Uh... hey there." Aqua taps on the glass. "Anypony home?"
"Hmm?" the mare stirs to life and her eyes focus on you, "Hello. Welcome to Arkhay Asylum, where our motto is 'nopony is beyond saving'. Please, deposit the patient in the door on your right. The asylum staff will be with you shortly." she says, almost robotically, her head lilting a bit every few words.
Aqua stares at the mare, who stares in turn into space, her eyes dilating again. A trail of odd black mucus is running from her nose into her mouth as she looks past you two.
"CV, I don't like this." Aqua tells you in a hushed tone. "Something's really wrong here. I didn't see any security on the way in her. A little suspicious for a home for the criminally insane don't you think?"
You look around and notice there aren't any ponies watching the entrance either. In fact, place is filthy; trashcans are overflowing, and dust is covering the floor and benches.
"Hmm, you're right." you agree. You can smell the Knight's dirtywork at... work here. "That just means it's even more important that I get in there and put a stop to whatever's going on. And look!" you say and point to a tattered poster listing the visiting hours. "We can use that to talk to each other. Just show up during the next time, which looks like... (insert whatever time you think works best)! And be sure to bake a cake!"
"What? Why?" Aqua asks.
"Because you can slip me my gear inside it. And prison food is supposed to be terrible." you tell her.
This is a hard question. There are so many good ones, and the definition of insanity leaves a broad spectrum. I am going to have to say some of Batman's villains for my answer. Batman has had quite a few villains who have fallen off their rockers over the years. While Joker may be the favorite, (especially the Joker of the Golden Age and the Bronze (current) Age) there are many others, the Mad Hatter, Victor Zsasz, Two-Face, even Scarecrow can be considered insane. Batman faces about every example of different insanity, plus some even consider him to be insane.
The best lunatics, or lunatic tropes, I can think of would be Hannibal Lecter, and Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
There was nothing that disturbed me quite as much as Anthony Hopkins portraying the soulless Hannibal. It is definitely the more creepy portrayal of a psychopath as it presents him as horrifyingly sane, and hyper-intelligent. He knows what he is doing, he knows how it effects people, and he knows the best way to get past people's mental 'armor'. Hannibal is a master manipulator that can even put on a charming facade when it suits him, though it doesn't stop him from being brutally cruel.
channelnewsasia.com/blob/3016682/1470372046000/anthony-hopkins-is-data.jpg
The second crazy character that embodies the other end of the insanity spectrum is Jack. He started off as a relatively normal writer looking for inspiration, then slowly fell more and more into madness as the ghosts in the hotel have their way with him and his family. He 'snaps' and is an undeniable foaming-at-the-mouth-lunatic. There is no question that the last vestiges of human inhibition and sanity slipped away, and all that remains is more beast than man.
screencrush.com/442/files/2014/11/The-Shining-Jack-Nicholson.jpg
Most insane? Hmm... Tough question. Oh! That's right...
As you are led through the dark and sinister halls (they should really renovate the place to be more calming), you pass two docters apparently talking about a new arrival.
"I swear to you, he is an Obsessive Compulsive. Every time he sees someone, his first words are 'could you tell me what time it is?'. He even had a total of five watches on his person: three pocket watches and two hoofwatches."
"Yeah but none of them were set to actual times and he complains that the time ponies give him is wrong even if they are staring at a clock when they say it. My bits are on Schizophrenia."
You wonder who they are talking about for a moment before the mention of watches draws you back to the fact that you still have the pocket watch that the weird creature from the toy store gave you. You flip it open and see that it is 3:45 and dinner won't start until 5:45 according to the scheduals. Most likely, your targets will be there too, so now you just need to pass the time and hope the rumors of the mass-murdering clown pony, Mr. Brightside, that resides here are just a hoax.
As you pass the hallway the doctors walked out of, an eerily familiar voice floats down the corridor, though you can't tell where you heard it before.
"I rigged up a watch to do more than just chime, and I didn't balk once at the depths of my crime! The most perfect invention, that still kept impeccable time."
Something about the song seemed ominous and you picked up your pace to both keep up with your escort and escape the sense of dread weighing upon you.
Gilligan
You're having real trouble getting in. You've tried multiple things already...
---
You psycho-crusher through the wall, and exclaim, "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
The nearby security guard just rolls his eyes and shows you the exit.
---
You set fire to the asylum and sing PYROMANIA and RAZE THIS BARN, but all they do is douse it and shush you away.
---
"WHAT DOES ONE HAVE TO DO TO GET IN THIS ASYLUM?" you shout out.
A nearby security guard looks at you in a weird way, before asking, "You actually want to get IN here?"
You nod, almost crying. He stares at you, before exclaiming, "GUYS! THIS PERSON HERE IS CRAZY! HE WANTS TO ACTUALLY BE LOCKED HERE!"
And that's how you entered the Asylum.
"What are you talking that you are going to put yourself in, are you crazy? Wait, don't answer that..." Say Aqua as she interrupt Bugzee before he could talk
"It's easy, I enter, I tell them that I need to be inside because I listen the voice of a ex-mad king and the dark side of Luna and I could enter without problems" Say Bugzee smiling when he suddenly feel as if someone hit him with a frying pan and listen a grumpy Selena muttering something.
"Of course, and how are you going to get out? Even if by luck you manage to enter, we need a way to get out" Say Aqua looking angry to Bugzee
"I... You know? I'm not sure" Comment Bugzee
"What if they discover you are the hooded offender or a changeling? Or worst, they drug you and put in a room to never see the light of day, this is Arkham Asylum, where they put the most crazy people, just like that mad clown that was in the news a time ago" Say Aqua
"Maybe you can work inside and check everything to be safe and I stay outside so if something go wrong, mommy could tell me and then I could search for reinforcements" Offer Nightshade as her head got out of the inventory
Aqua and Bugzee look at the little filly and begin to think the plan and ignore that Nightshade was supossed to be still in the inventory resting after what happened with the fumes after they agreed that they were never going to tell her what happened nor let her around weed again.
Time Later
Aqua enter with a nurse outfit and have Bugzee in a bed, tied and with a muzzle.
"Hi! I'm the new nurse Nut Case, I'm entering this crazy one that managed to escape" Say Aqua as she try to convince the guard pony that look at her
"Oh, another one? Good for you, normally is a crazy pony with a bat suit the one that find the loony ponies and return them, it seems that because they let him walk around and the back door is open always, when they are bored they like to walk around" Say the security pony as he open the door
"Did he really tell us, in front a possible crazy pony and a nurse that the back door is always open and that people going away is common and that a crazy pony dressed in a bat suit just return them and it's not suspicious? Ask Selena to Bugzee surprised
"Mmpffh" Was the only muffle reason of Bugzee
"Now that I think... Why do we need to collect those other two? Can't we just let them rest here? They are already in a asylum" Say Aqua as she begin to think
"Mmmmph" Say Bugze
"But... Are you sure about that?" Ask Aqua
"Mph" Answer Bugzee
"Well... If you are sure, but how do you want to defeat them with just half a banana and a toy duck?" Ask Aqua to Bugzee
"Mmph Mmph" Say Bugzee
"Of course, you are a genius!" Say Aqua surprised
Meanwhile Bugzee was confused as he was not even sure what he told Aqua
More Time later
Bugzee that was free and walking around managed to find himself in the art room of the asylum, as he was in there, he managed to see a drawing of what seemed to be a page of the dark offender, with curiosity he looked nearly and was surprised to see a image of him in the nightmare that King Sombrero put in him in the Crystal Empire, as he continued he looked to another image, this one of his battle with the Tantabus in his mind and another one portrayed him fighting Strong Hoof. The next one was of a judgement as he could see strong hoof in front of Princess Celestia but it was not finished as there was no dialogue. The final one was also incomplete as it seemed to only be the begining, but it was what more surprised him.
"How... Is this real? This... This cannot be" Muttered Bugzee
"I'm still not sure how could this be, but I don't detect any magic, so I think it must be real, how? I don't know... I have some memory of Oracles or Seers, but they were that, legends, as far as I know, no one can watch the future, not even Discord Say Selena as she could still not believe it
In front of Bugzee was the last image, still not finished, it showed Bugzee walking in his current suit, in the art room he was, looking to the pictures that were poor defined.
"Okay... I think we should forget about this..." Muttered Bugzee feeling a little scared as he retreated slowly and looked around to see if someone or something was watching without luck as it seemed that no one was looking to him.
---------------
The most crazy? Without doubt is The mask
Followed by many super hero and villains... I mean, walking around in Pajama and people thinking is normal? Well...
but I suposse the second position should go to DISCORD, he could be the most crazy, but after reformation, he begin to lose his crazyness and humor
Third place go to Bugs Bunny the lucky bunny
Fourth place I have our mostly know Joker the great clown that give headache and live in Arkham
And our lovely Pinkie Pie in fifth place
Also... In honor mention... How to act as a loony by Ace Ventura, a real loony
And how to forget THE ANIMANIACS
,,,
P.S: If the video disturb, I change it to link
Well, Taz from Looney Tunes is kinda crazy, though savage might be more accurate. Although given the answers above, Pinkie is going to win anyway...
While I applaud the general storyline, the sensual bits not so much... well, actually, not at all. Not trying to tick people off, just noting that the rather innocuous original story (from the first chapters of the first season) has become more warped over time.
Case the asylum; find out weak areas in the perimeter that you might be able to sneak into before actually entering, and find out what kinds of prisoners are there before actually doing anything, whether or not they are vicious criminals or just ponies who have... problems. If they're dangerous (besides the Knights and of course the Guards), bring your heaviest weaponry and have it readily available.
"Whoops, almost forgot." you comment before taking one of your Transformation Poition beforehoof so you won't have to worry about needing to take off your clothes to change into the hospital gown and straitjackets.
You turn into a unicorn with a black coat, orange mane and tail, a yin-yang Cuite Mark (black parts are midnight colored), and your scars (Orichalcum wounds so they don't heal)
======================
7518064
"I AM THE HOODED OFFENDER!" you rant in a crazed tone, "A QUARTER-EARTH PONY CHANGELING WHO FATHERED AN ALICORN DAUGHTER WITH THE NIGHTMARE MOON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD WITH A SOMBRA THAT I ATE AND KEEP DRUGGED... IN THAT ORDER!!!"
As you ponies say these days; Truth is stranger than fiction. Selena comments.
"BOW BEFORE ME FOR I HAVE THE SHINIEST BEET BICYCLE!!!" you proclaim while swinging around a bicycle-shaped object you made out of duct tape and beets.
"Sir, please stop swinging around your beet bicycle. Some of our patients are allergic." One of the orderlies says.
=============
Best lunatic is the chimichanga-loving, fourth wall breaking Merc with the Mouth; DEADPOOL!
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“It’s almost time~” The voice is an echo, hollow but layered with multiple voices of hunger, glee and cold contemplation.
There is no reply in the dark room. The only illumination in it is a mere lava lamp that laid upon a desk. It glows an eerie red, a mysterious black blob floating as it slowly reaches the ceiling of the lamp. The curtains are closed. The rumbling thunder clouds are invasive. The room is large but only adds to the emptiness all around.
The same person says, “Most of Equestria believes that things are fine in this world, that even with the all the incidents it has suffered it’s all fine… But no. Celestia kept them ignorant from the truth...running away. Running and running and running…,” he trailed off. He leaned back on his chair, and it squeaked and echoed in the empty room. He sighed dramatically. “When will she ever get tired of it? It’s quite maddening, you know?
“Tell me, Grey Rebl, what do you think?”
A snort came from the side. “I think it’s about the end of my lunch time, and not the time to listen to the preaching of a senile old fart, Erised.”
“Ah, youngsters. Never giving their respect to the elderly and their worldly wisdom,” lamented Erised with a buzz in his voice.
“If you really want to know, it’s bucking annoying,” Grey growled. “All this talk about the Crimson Knights and terrorism: It’s a Gorram joke. They treat the Knights as though they’re like some grand order that’ll end the status quo. Too bad the truth is that most of us don’t really care about some higher purpose, not since Risen Flagg’s death.
“The populous acts like some obedient whorse and keeps on getting screwed over with whatever bullspit the government feeds them, trying to get them to be “aware” and vigilant or bucking whatever. The incompetent bucks don’t even know what they’re saying either. It didn’t give them any favors when some of our changelings got hold of the Royal Guard’s “secret” project plans.” He clicked his tongue. “The Royal Idiots needs a better hobby than beat what’s already dead.”
“Well, well, well isn’t this a surprise. You seem to care about something.”
“Make no mistake. I don’t give a flying buck about the Hooded Offender's ideals nor your gorram fanaticism for him. You’re on your own.” Grey Rebl then chuckled. One can imagine a cruel smile behind the darkness. “I’m just here to break some bones for a bit of release.”
“...oh really?” Erised replied darkly. Although jovially, he was suddenly a hornets nest waiting to erupt. Almost as low as a whisper, he says, “What villainous talk. If it weren’t for your assignment by the higher ups and their orders, even though you're a Knight Leader, I would’ve killed you for your disloyalty and misdemeanor, you Mad Dog.”
“Wanna try me, you hypocr--!” Grey seethingly starts, but Erised abruptly shushes him before he can utter another word.
“Hush now, quiet now! We can’t start a fight now before we can get real now, now can we?”
Grey spoke between his teeth, “Yes. That’s right.”
“Good that we’ve reached to an understanding~,” Erised jeers.
“Tch! We’re done here.” There is the clopping of hooves, leading to an exit.
“Hm? Where are you going now?”
“I going to do what every leader of a group has: motherbucking responsibilties.”
As though it is a major revelation, Erised elevates. “Oh! That’s right! You DID have such a mighty temper.” There is definitely a sarcastic smile behind the voice. “How can I forget that, I wonder?”
There is a pause. “Buck you,” Grey Rebl ends, and the door creaks as it opens and closes, clicking shut.
"I'll be talking to you through the public speakers!" Erised replies cheerfully.
Erised is alone now. Even so, he snickers a little from his own amusement to Grey’s reaction. He slows to a content sighs.
He opens his eyes “Soon, Celestia will know what Tartarus truly is as Equestria. Falls. Dark.”
The black blob drops. After all, blood is thicker than water. The blob consumed the entire space there was nothing left of the red glow of the lava lamp, dimming until it’s as dark as the chuckles of the sole remaining occupant of the room, the darkness as maddening as his growing laughter.
-------
Aqua and Nightshade are in the waiting room of the institution. The decor is horrid. There's litter everywhere and the walls needs a paint job, badly. The dying plant in the corner didn't help the mood of the room. Heck, even the absentminded desk attendee seems to fit the scenery.
Getting Bugze inside is egregiously easy, cementing the approaching question of Aqua’s legitimacy in her choice of company. Arguably, she’s just as crazy for hanging around with Bugze and his shenanigans. Actually, maybe it’s all so that she’d suffer the burden of being responsible and sane? No matter what, she’s still somehow the sane one. She shakes her head and sighs. No point in dwelling on what’s obvious anymore.
The only sound in the waiting room is the ticking of the clock, and even then the time does not seem to be right. Shouldn’t it be around lunch time? She’s too afraid to mention it. Nightshade might reignite another food crisis, for this rundown Asylum in particular.
“You think the Crimson Knights are all bad?”
Nightshade’s sudden question came as a surprise to Aqua. The implications as well takes a moment for her to process.
She forces herself to answer. “Oh!...uh, what gave you the idea?” Eyes wide and concerned, she looks at the foal.
“Well...you and Daddy said that your latest bounty with Brown Dog and Snapdragon went awfully well, right?”
“Yeeaaah…” Aqua would rather not grace the bounty a description, let alone recall it.
When they finished the bounty, CV and her went to find Nightshade. They and their latest captives were gifted with the sight of Garble being the victim of various wrestling moves, such as the German Suplex. Especially the German Suplex. And his limbs got bent in the wrong places. It didn’t help that Nightshade used her Earthbending to make the ground flinchingly spiky, making every move more torturous than painful. In other words, he got "stoned". Bugze had to force the Luna Plushie on her to stop her. As for Garble, well... He was left in the care of the stoners.
Needless to say, Brown Dog, Snapdragon and Spartan were REALLY glad they were being cooperative.
Nightshade continues. “It makes me think back with you and Daddy. You both fought each other. Now you think Daddy isn’t all that bad! And viscera, visa!”
“Vice versa,” Aqua corrects.
“Yeah, that. So if Brown Dog and Snapdragon can be fine, then why not some of the other Knights?”
“I’m not sure if that should matter. If they’re a part of the Crimson Knights, then they’re criminals. Just another bounty to catch,” Aqua says nonchalantly.
Nightshade frowns. “Daddy is a wanted changeling, and you’re okay with him.”
Aqua freezes, wide-eyed. She hasn’t forgotten. How can she? She still remembers the deadly fight they had back in the Crimson Hearthswarming and the one involving a bounty with a zebra. Yet, here they are now, on friendly terms with the guy. In hindsight, their current relationship should be impossible. If even C.V. can be a decent guy then, well, what does that say about the members of the Crimson Knights, who are following by his supposed example? But they chose to terrorize others and Equestria, therefore they are all criminals right? Right?
“...then I really don’t know,” she says finally. “What I do know is that whatever C.V. thinks, they must be bad news enough to get him onto a pony hunt for them. If they needed to be stopped, then they just needed to be stopped.”
At that, Nightshade continues on with a torrent of more questions. Aqua groans, cursing C.V. for putting her up to this.
------
You are pulled into another hallway. You and the orderly dragging you are then led towards an open cell, the door reinforced with metal. The orderly unlocks the door and opens it, all the while you continue your charade.
The orderly politely gestures to the door, welcoming you towards it. “This your room. Enjoy your stay,” the she says.
“FUBAR RauBin! Bring me fire, baby!” you shout as you flail around.
“Enjoy your stay.”
“Down with the Queen! Down with the machines! Bring me a beautiful sign, a flaming and burning sign!” Slowly, you’re attempts of appearing insane gets a little lackluster.
“Enjoy your stay.”
“RAAAAaaagh...and…uh, burn the machines and, um…,” you trail off, noticing the lack of action on the orderly’s part.
“Enjoy your stay.”
You stare at the orderlie “...seriously, shouldn’t I be thrown in instead of being, well, gently led in?”
“Enjoy your stay,” is the same old response.
“Okaaay…” You grunt your way in and past the door, having difficulty due to the restraints. You turn to the orderly. “Well, you can go now.”
“Your doctor will be with you soon.”
The door closes and it creaks, loudly. It eerily echoes throughout the room.
When you hear the hoofsteps fade, you sigh. You’re now in an isolated room with nothing but the white padding meant to protect the patients. Well, not really. The Asylum is kind enough to supply a clock to the room, high up so that you can’t even reach it. It’s definitely better than nothing.
“Although, I can kinda make do without the insane voices of my neighboring inmates…,” you say out loud.
It’s true. There are cries of voices in their heads, begging them to stop. There’s the inane cries of the schizophrenics and the incohesive ramblings of the paranoid. Yet, somehow, someway, you’re a bit fine with it. You feel a bit of kinship with them instead.
You facehoof and sigh harder. “Is it sad that I’m actually used to this sort of thing?” you grumble.
A snort came from your mindscape, and you know there’s no need for words for that statement.
You opt to stare at the clock. May as well watch the time pass, if there’s nothing else better to do---aaand the minute hand suddenly went backwards. Your eye twitches and a sense of deja vu came over you.
“ARE YOU BUCKING KIDDING ME?! Even the time is all jacked up! No wonder this Asylums sucks!”
“Huh. I guess I have another angry case,” a voice came from behind the door.
You go stiff, eyes wide. “Oh mother of luna. Please no.” You don’t want turn around, not to confirm your suspicions.
“Well, it can’t be helped,” begins the cheery voice. “Why don’t we settle this over lunch? Food can help us from being cranky. It sloshes over the crank for anger and eases it down. Our therapy session can start there.
Slowly, you force yourself to turn around. “Pleasedon’tbehimpleasedon’tbehimplea--” You see him and you turn pale. “Noooo! You! Why you?! Why does it have to be you?!”
Your “doctor” lits up. “Ah! Bugze! It’s been awhile! Gee, I didn’t think we’d meet again so soon. Then again, you kinda are crazy…”
“Salver, you quack, you are the last person I want to hear that from!” you yell.
Dr. Quack Salver just smiles through the bars of the cell door, ignorant of your plight. “Well, hello to you, too!”
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Wazaaah! And the length of this comment is just as crazy! Or maybe that’s my ego talking. Oh well.
The best insane character in my opinion is Krieg from Borderlands 2. His one-liners gets me rolling and rolling! Like, downhill. Sometimes I’d spam his special ability a bit too much...
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"Qu-Quacksalver!?" You sputter in shock, "What are you doing here?"
"I am doing my duty as a Doctor!" Doctor Quack declares proudly, "Everyone in here is suffering from a severe variant of circulatory and pulmonary choke-y-itis! Those poor ignorant psychiatrists assume these ponies are just crazy, and locked them away in here. But little do they know, insanity is merely an advanced symptom, which could quickly lead to brain strangliotosis! Thus I have taken it upon myself to cure them, by any leeches nessisary." then his eyes snap back to you. "But enough about my amazing exploits, what have you been doing since I last saved your life?"
"Well for your information I've been hunting down a group of cultist gangleader terrorists so they don't destroy Equestria as we know it." you tell him, "...It's been a pretty wild ride. In fact, two of them are supposed to be hiding out in this very asylum, plotting something. You haven't heard the names Grey Rebl and Erised, have you?"
You realize if Quacksalver has been here 'treating' patients, he's probably bumped into the Knights at least once. Heck, he might be able to lead you right to them!
"I have heard those names."
Your eyes widen in delight as he says this. "Really?! When?! Where?!"
"From you just now!" He says with a winning smile.
You deflate. "Thanks a lot."
"Hmm," Quack says with an inquisitive look at you, "you seem to have suffered premature excitement, and now the excess is just evaporating out your mouth and leaving you with the byproduct. You need food in your belly more than ever to counteract the effects! Come!"
With that, Quack dashes off, only pausing for a moment to beckon you to follow.
"Quack! Hey wait up, I'm stuck in here!" you say, pressing your face against the bars. "You gotta let me ouuuuu-t."
As you were screaming for help the door to your cell got bumped and slowly creaked open. "It was unlocked this whole time?" you say, feeling your eye twitch again. "What kind of cut-rate asylum is this?!"
---
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Nooooo! I was going to write that scene!
If you don't mind, (sorry for writing late), I'll write it soon.
As you are walked through the Asylum, you can’t help but feel like somethings off. Like The whole atmosphere about this place feels wrong. Patients wander aimlessly, the lights are all dim, and many have straightjackets on.
“Wait a minute, actual Asylum’s aren’t supposed to be drab and dreary and torturous. The majority of patients should only be made up of those with nonviolent psychiatric problems! This isn’t the dark ages!” you yell out as you are dragged through some Applewood horror writer’s idea of an Insane Asylum.
“Wow, this guy really is crazy, thinking this place would be pleasant,” smirks one of the orderlies.
“I’m serious, you only see this kind of behavior in asylums from the past, or from video games! How am I supposed to get better here?”
“Well, here’s a question, have you tried NOT being crazy?”
“Yes I’ve tried! My whole life!”
“Well, that’s why you’re here now buddy,” the orderly smirks, now take your pills.
“Ugh! Fine!” you growl as you shoot the pills and smack your lips.
“Huh…is that cherry flavor?”
“Yup, you’ll be feeling it soon, now take a seat,” the orderly orders.
You sit down, and try to look zoned out, they don’t know about the helpful mare in your mind.
You sit and look around the room at the other patients. There is a large Bison leaning on a push broom and chewing bubblegum, staring at you silently.
In one corner is a group of guys trying to play a card game, but it keeps getting derailed.
These guys look rather harmless compared to the sterotypical shambling zombie patient, that you thought was just a hollywood myth in this day and age.
They probably just hand out the drugs so everyone's peaceful and don't try to help them
Well, we do the same thing, though our quarry we know is dangerous and violent.
Yeah, but at least he's going to therapy with Dr. Nightshade you counter.
True, though I believe his attachment and reverence of her as a usurper is getting a rather bit unnerving, she says with a shudder.
Yeah, well at least he's been calm...Speaking of which, do you got any idea what they just gave me?
No Idea on the name, but whatever it is it’s powerful. The fallen tyrant is singing and watching your remembered episodes of My Little Human…Willingly!
WHAT?!
Ha Ha Ha, Big adventure, Tons of fun. A beautiful heart, faithful and strong…
Oh Sweet merciful Lun-I mean You! We’ve turned him into a HUMIE!!!
What horrors have we unleashed? She stammers in fear.
Don’t you know you’re all my very best frrrrriiiiiiieeeeeennnnnddddsssss…Oh so delightful…My favorite character is Ashleigh
“AAAAHHHHH!!!!” you shriek out loud in your seat at the worst possible thing.
The orderlies look confused by your behavior.
“I thought we gave him the relaxing happy pills?”
“So did I…unless the chief has been messing around with the medicines again,” the other one says with a glare to a big silent buffalo who sits in the corner chewing bugglegum, watching your freakout.
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In the holding area, Brown Dog SnapDrake and Changer are led in. There's anger from Kichi over Changer, and looks of actual surprise from Rutherford and Solarkness, since they too thought he died, and though Kichi was blowing hot air. Brown Dog claims he wants to be in the same cells as Snap and Changer...but none of the prisoners get to share cells.
"Come on! I'm about to detox here after literal months of drinking and eating drugs. The least you can let me do is annoy my friends as I do!"
The guards though don't give in and separate Snap and Brown into different cells, with Changer in the middle, and the messenger to his other side, and Silver in front of him.
"Holy Crap! Silver buddy, how have you been?"
"I've been better boss, Kichi got me captured!"
"OH WAY TO DROP THE BALL KICHI!" Snap yells.
"You guys turned yourself in!" he yells back.
"Yeah, so? Didn't mean you had to let Silver get captured! He's a good kid!"
He just shakes his head in bafflement at their argument.
"Eh it's not so bad, I'm not starving or anything, and I met Candy here," Silver says.
"Candy?"
"Yeah, she was Kersey's messenger in Vanhoover. She's a Changeling too."
"Hi," she says from her cell.
"Nice to meet ya," Brown replies.
"Huh, funny how many changelings are in the Knights isn't it?" Snap Drake ponders.
"Will you two shut up?! I'm meditating," Changer growls.
"Alright fine...Hey Rutherford, Solar, when's your movie coming out again?"
"Probably never since you two unleashed Beigh and Shamalamadingdong onto the Applewood," Solar growls.
"Yeah, ICE guys! How many times did I have to tell you, Ice is what you needed!" Rutherford chastises.
"Eh, whatever. We ended the franchise, so it's fine," Snap Drake reasons.
"You guys don't know what quiet means do you?..." Changer sighs.
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"Hey! I did not get anyone captured!" Groaned Kichi as he decided to try again to open the door using his horn as a lockpick
"The plan was to give false information to that Bounty Hunter with old forgotten bases, and if by some chance some of you was captured, free you without no one knowing" That of course was a lie, as he really was going to rat them, but if they didn't know, it was better as Kichi tought that they could still be of use.
"But of course, In middle of the battle mister nice, helped that bounty hunter to capture me and destroyed the base" Complained Kichi as he decided to stop trying to lockpick and instead tried to try to make a hole in the walls, after all if he did have something, was time
"Also... If Mr nice want a piece of us, he could very well break the door or any wall, not sure any of you, but unlike him I don't have the same strenght that have the element of honesty nor I can pop from strange places like the element of laughter so if he want something, stop opening the mouth and move the muscles" Groaned Kichi as he stopped trying again and waited in the middle of the room.
"Stupid speciesist guards... If I could do the promised call and contact some of those lawyers I know that think more about the money that working for a changeling, I could send them to one of the locations with money" Say Kichi looking to the door and then the walls
"Wait... You still have money?" Asked X (Whoever want to offer himself)
"D'uh, unlike others, I think. We changelings are experts in having a false identity, so of course I managed to hide some money in certain locations in case I could need to escape or have a new identity. If it was not because my stupid queen..." Kichi begin to rant about Chrysalis and soon the others begin to disconnect as they usually did when he groaned like that.
"Oh well... Anyone want to play a little of imaginary chess or does anyone have any idea to get out?" Asked Kichi but before anyone answered he opened his mouth.
"And no... Hoping that Princess Luna appear in one of our dreams and ask her to get out that we are innocents is not going to let us free" Added Kichi at last moment listening a groan.
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I know I posted already, but this is mainly to put the reactions of Kichi, even if I'm not sure how the cell is... As sometimes I imagine the padded room of a Asylum, other times I imagine a cell like in jail, other times just a big room with a hole to do 'things'
SOMEWHERE UNKNOWN
Outside a set of doors a clouded voice from the guard could be heard. "We're here."
The doors slam open revealing Changer, Brown Dog, and Snap Drake, with a pair of guards behind them. They all slowly pace forward.
While Snap and Brown Dog tiredly and lazily pace forward, Changer looks left and right inside the prison cells surrounding him.
He looks right after passing a few empty cells. "Is that... no."
The changeling he stared at looked at him with suspicion. "Is this the guy Kichi was so scare about?" Silver Strange asked.
Across from this changeling's cell, he sees another changeling in her own cell which looks scared... but not at him. Just scared in general. "Even if he acts like one, Kichi is definitely not a girl."
A couple a steps later.. "There he is." Changer smirks at a freaked out changeling stepping back away from him.
Looking back to his right he sees a Wyvern and a Timberwolf, Rutherford and Solarkness, in their respective cells, both with widened eyes. Solarkness is just slack-jawed while Rutherford mouths 'Spartan' in disbelief.
This makes Changer chuckle darkly at his thoughts. He stops his laugh when he comes across the final cell before his own, Kersey's.
Kersey is in a hospital bed hooked up to a machine. He seems to be unconscious or sleeping at least.
Still, Changer smirks to himself.
The guards escort them to the last three cells at the back of the room right next to the other knights.
Snap Drake and Brown Dog immediately lie down and fall asleep snoring loudly. Changer sits down quietly, crosses his forelegs, and closes his eyes as the sound of the cell door closing echoes throughout the room.