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Featured In9

More Stories25

  • E Pink and Famous

    Rainbow Dash has the attention of everyone for flying. Rarity has it for dresses. Pinkie Pie. . . ?
    4,231 words · 2,951 views  ·  242  ·  8
  • E Chaos and Kindness

    Fluttershy has broken through to Discord, but there's still a lot of work to do. Between "Well played, Fluttershy" and "Friendship is magic!" there was a whole new story.
    5,193 words · 2,767 views  ·  163  ·  7
  • T My Girlfriend is a Siren

    Three new girls in school. Ask one on a date. But what happened in her last school and where is Canterlot High anyway?
    17,487 words · 3,064 views  ·  327  ·  20
  • E Lyra's Human

    Yet another in the increasing Lyra-meets-with-a-human subgenre
    17,223 words · 17,043 views  ·  838  ·  78
  • E The Disturbing Dreams of Twilight Sparkle

    Twilght Sparkle is having terrible nightmares and cannot sleep.
    13,542 words · 6,274 views  ·  72  ·  5
  • T Friendship is Optimal: Spiraling Upwards

    What would happen to me if "Friendship is Optimal" were true and I really had a Ponypad.
    59,922 words · 1,990 views  ·  156  ·  17
  • E Love in Time Immemorial

    Long after the Royal Wedding, Cadence is left widowed. She seeks out a new love in an old enemy.
    2,003 words · 3,609 views  ·  166  ·  19
  • E Friendship is Optimal: No Exit

    There are many ways to emigrate to Equestria, if you're sure it's what you want
    4,737 words · 1,502 views  ·  104  ·  12

Blog Posts39

  • 1w, 5d
    500 Followers and a controversial ending

    I usually make a blog post every time the first digit on my followers number changes, and this will be no exception. I was able to push it over the limit by getting My Girlfriend is a Siren into the feature box one more time. I hope to produce more stories that people like and that I like writing.

    So just a few words on the ending of MGiaS, since I got a mixed reaction. First off, I wrote it exactly as I planned it, didn't cut it down at all. Some people were disappointed in the brevity of the ending, but I think a good story does that. The details of the ending are for your imagination to fill in; the broad strokes are what I give you. Some people wished that the "battle" had been longer, and that position I have more sympathy for, but again I said what I wanted to. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if it wasn't the perfect ending you wanted, I'm sorry, but feel free to take your own headcanon as true.

    Anyway, I will continue to write fics for all of you and I hope you will stick around for them. It gives me a little pride to think of enough people to populate a small town watching me for stories.

    1 comments · 58 views
  • 5w, 2d
    I actually publish something? What sorcery is this?!

    I've been woefully lax in putting out new stories. Yes, I get my one chapter a week out, but I used to be able to do that while writing other stuff as well. I have a novel I'm working on, but that's been slow and I don't want to put it out until it's been gone over with severely. Next year, probably.

    BUT, I have finally found time and inspiration, and I have out a side story now. It is called: My Girlfriend is a Siren, about one of the coolest characters in the new movie. I don't do a whole lot of straight romance, but I'm trying it here.

    Unless everyone says I should make it clop.

    Anyway, if everything goes right, you should be able to read it now, or wait until the mods approve it. I hope to keep up with this one; I really enjoyed writing chapter 1.

    1 comments · 92 views
  • 19w, 2d
    A Matter of Numbers

    I’m sometimes interested in the properties of numbers, even though I’m not that great at math. One of the things I like is when numbers have really low prime factors. For instance, 150 is 5x5x3x2, which 151 is, well, just 151. So I think it’s fair to say that 150 is much more of a nice, round number than 151 is. Now, consider 162. Not what many people would call a nice, round number. And yet, if you factor it out, 162 equals 2x3x3x3x3.

    “Great, PJ,” you may be saying. “But I don’t come here for math, I come here for pony stories.” Well, the last time I posted about Derpy’s Human, I said that my plans were to go to Chapter 150, which would be the end of Karyn’s time at school. But she just finished her third year, and we’re only at chapter 110. There’s no reason I can’t cover a whole year in 40 chapters, but if I had 52, it would be one chapter for every week, and  the whole story would have a nice, round number of chapters. I only need one thing.

    Twelve more chapter ideas.

    And that’s where you all come in. I’m opening up the blog entries and the comments to you guys. If I can get twelve good ideas that fit in with the story, I’ll extend it for another twelve chapters. Now, a few guidelines. These are going to be slice of life chapters, not structural to change Derpy or Karyn. So, something like Derpy and Karyn meet the president of the United States, that’s not going to happen. You can ch ange other people or ponies, but not my two girls and not the setting.

    Aside: for those of you who just came here to find out about next week, it's Derpy and Karyn on a beach again, but this time it's on Earth, and they compare and contrast the two occasions. I've buried this in the middle of the entry so that you have to read the whole thing. End of aside.

    Also, I’d like to limit it to one suggestion per person. I have a good slate of regular commenters here, but the statistics say that a couple of hundred people read this every week. I’d like to hear from some of the lurkers as well.

    So that’s the plan. If it doesn’t work, well, like I said, I can do it all in 150 chapters. It’s all up to you.

    19 comments · 310 views
  • 39w, 1d
    400 Followers and a State of the Author Update

    Yay! Another milestone. With Rainbow Dash 647 as my newest follower, that makes 400. Maybe Rainbow Dash 400 will be my 647th? Probably not.

    Anyway, here's what's going on. For all my Derpy's Human fans, we're rapidly approaching Chapter 100, which would have been the original end. But since I decided to extend it, I have to do something Really Big for this one. I think I can live up to the task, though. After that, I think it's about time for another clip show, and then I'm hoping to have it on rails until the end.

    For my Optimalverse friends, you should be seeing two more chapters of All the President's Horses this weekend, followed by one more the week after that.

    And my next project is to try to write something in a slower, more descriptive style. My problem with this is that while I've gained a lot of writing time recently, I've lost some thinking time. I used to get a lot of ideas on long drives and walks, but walking has been nigh impossible with the winter snows that seem to have come down every other day. That I'm hoping too will change. But it's also new territory for me: a long fic without humans.

    8 comments · 181 views
  • 47w, 5d
    A Slight De(rp)lay

    Hey, everypony. Some of you may have heard, but this Wednesday is Christmas. Normally, Derpy's Human updates on Wednesday nights, but I have no intention of publishing that night. All the good people of the world should be with their friends and families that night, and I definitely will be. So for the first time, we'll have a change of schedule, and I'll publish the new Derpy's Human chapter on Thursday at the usual time. We'll go back to the old schedule going next week. (I have no particular attachment to New Year's Day.)

    1 comments · 141 views
  • ...

This story is a sequel to Lyra's Human

Several years after the events of Lyra's Human, Derpy Hooves decides that she's lonely, and wants to meet a human for herself.  Together, Derpy and the human have crazy adventures across worlds as both learn what it means to be true friends.

Story image courtesy Shadow Squirrel

First Published
25th Apr 2012
Last Modified
19th Nov 2014

:pinkiehappy: epic Ditzy and epic human = EPIC STORY

Oh, this is going to be reeeeeeeal good.:pinkiehappy:

Actvating Portkey!

Okay.... First I just wanna say Lyra's human the first was awesome and this is looking reallll good so far :pinkiehappy:! And secondly..... WHY WHY WOULD YOU CLIFFHANG ME :pinkiegasp::fluttercry::ajbemused::twilightangry2::raritycry::flutterrage:


Because while Lyra wants hands, I want my story to have legs. :raritywink:

Damn.. I really don't want to start on this until it is finished. I don't like waiting to see what happens next, lol. How long will this story be compared to the last one?


Open-ended.  I'm trying to make it much more laid-back than LH1, which was my goal for that originally before Lyra and the protagonist fell in love, and I couldn't stop them.

>>500726 They gained something of a life of their own, eh? You might want to ask pinkie if she had anything to do with that. Oh my god... idea for best story ever. Story about a guy writing a story and he goes insane while writing and convinces himself that pinkie is breaking the fourth wall irl and writing things in for him, though it is described in a way that makes the reader question if he is insane or if pinkie is actually breaking the fourth wall.

I know I read a story earlier about someone trying to write a story and pinkie is breaking the fourth wall but yah... that was more of a comedy.

We have legends from Greek mythology talking about a Pegasus. Wonder if she's gonna get sent into the past at some point... :pinkiegasp:

Erm... I feel like it is a VERY BAD idea to send such an innocent pony to earth. The feds will steal her. So lock yo doors, hide yo pony, cuz they be stealin (or raping) everypony in here. :derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2:

They should send AJ or Rainbow there. HNNNG that would be awesome. Also... how hard could it possibly be to find a fellow brony that would wanna live with derpy. It doesn't matter if derpy isn't their fav pony, they would still go. I would...


Derpy may be innocent, but she is NOT stupid.  She can handle herself, trust me.

As to the second, would you really, REALLY in real life, want to move away from family, friends, and your life and go live somewhere else where you didn't know the culture? The way I'm viewing it, it's more like an exchange student program than just a brony recruiting.  Also remember that Lyra has limited communication to the human world.

>>504070 Hell yes I would leave. The people I called friends at one time resent me, the few friends I have anymore are breaking apart from me, literally 50% of my past is repressed so I don't remember any of that shit, I can't stand society and the social norms set by morons, and my family is pretty much the same as roommates to me.

On occasion I have a good day and things are pretty nice but that is rare. In fact, I take solace in sleeping because I like drifting off away from this world for those 8 hours or more.

I would give anything to live away from other people or to go to a better place.

It was a rather long wait... BUT THAT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! I guess taking more time and care with stories does result in better quality :raritywink:

Lol Derpy. I love it when people don't make Derpy this storm of madness that ruins everything and can't form a sentence. The smarter side of Derpy is the better side.

Those spells are a good fail-safe for any corners you write yourself into, very good planning on your part. Keep up the great story, I can't wait for the next chapter... well.. never mind. I can wait for a very long time as long as the chapters keep this excellent quality. :pinkiehappy::ajsmug::rainbowwild::raritystarry::twilightsheepish::facehoof:


I was wondering when the next chapter would appear. Dat Vas Fun!


Schedule for this one is that each chapter is published at midnight UTC between Wednesday and Thursday.


I was actually referring to the current chapter, as in wondering past-tense, but thanks anyway. :derpytongue2:

Lolollol the part with the quill. That was a very good end to the chapter. I can't wait to see what twilight does when she tells her this story. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:

Twi, you dun goofed! :rainbowlaugh:

Uhmmm I just got to where she said to make sure SafeSearch is on.

I have a VERRRYYYY bad feeling about this... Derpy please avoid the dark side of the brony fandom


Dark side? What dark side?:pinkiecrazy:

>>603335 U know exactly what I'm talking about. What if derpy ended up reading Sweet Apple massacre?

By the way I don't trust those sentient programs. I feel like they lied and are going to form Skynet later. lol


Just put some Aperture Science Morality modules on them. As part of a required test protocol, they are no longer allowed to lie to you.:trollestia:


The living is a lie

Holy mac-AAAAAHHH! Submit, transcribing software! Submit o-AAAAHHHHH. SUBMIT!


What a gem!


And yeah, playing dumb around perverts really CAN pay off, believe it or not.

#27 · 131w, 2d ago · 1 · · 4: Derpynet ·

Well, I'm sure that there's absolutely no way Derpynet and Karynet will show up later and be relevant to the story again. Nope, not a chance. Nuh-uh. Not happening. :trollestia:


Dude, I did that, like, 10 seconds ago! Stalker!:twilightoops:

And where did you get that smiley?

>>605395 i was just catching up on the story and it popes up lol

Neo thats how i fell

I am going to have to do that one day

Derpy would be a genius compared to humans that being said we all must be really dumb no offense to the all mighty derpy

Good idea: bringing Derpy to see a movie

Bad idea: showing Forrest Gump :trollestia:

after reading this i can safely assume pinkies a cheater that is all

Lol. Nice heartwarming chapter. Hockey woulda been better, but still good. (Hockey is best sport)

The part where derpy scored the goal was missing something. You shoulda written it so both pinkies dove towards the ball, hit their heads, and that is what caused them to miss it.  :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Oh yah.. that reminds me. The part with Pinkie splitting into two of herself was awesome. I love seeing her break all physics XD

I like the fact that you're making Ditzy (I refuse to call her Derpy because it sounds too offensive in my opinion.) as intelligent if not moreso than an average pegasus by having her use magic similar to that of a unicorn.


Derpalicious, eh?


I have to wonder, though, where's the other guy that was hanging out with Lyra? did he like, die or something? I forget what the end of the story was... :fluttercry:

Guess I'll have to read it again.


She's a fairly blank canvas based on what we've seen on the show. In my view, she's given to malapropisms, and she might be a bit impulsive, but there's definitely a wisdom here. Also she raised a filly to adulthood, and you've got to learn a thing or two doing that.


The protagonist of LH1 is still living with Lyra, but has been basically written out. One of my goals in the first story was to avoid revealing that character's gender, and that was hard enough to do in a first-person story. It's downright impossible to do in this one.

I think you messed up on the italics too, maybe this will help

Wow, so if I leave an open tag, it just carries over to whatever comes next? That's some funky coding.

It's nice after reading a few action-centered or mystery-centered fics or watching violent cartoons or reading/writing something random to cool of fwith some good, clean fun with a smooth story and just the right of fact mixed with fiction.

On that note,

All ya have to do is take a cup of fun and add it to the mix!

Now just take a little chapter that is done and post it to give their fix!

Writing is never just a cinch, it takes image-gin-nation!

Lots of devotion, finger-motion, and some dediCATION!

Fanfics! Sweet and delicious!

Fanfics! Trolls can be vicious!

Fanfics! Fanfics, fanfics, FANFIIIIICS!  :pinkiesmile:

Lol derpy.... that's not how you spell Viral. I love this story, it's so cute. :pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

FAUST (really good story though)

I love the way that you introduce Karyn to the mane 6. You don't just throw her into their group like most stories do. :pinkiehappy: Also if I were Karyn, I'd probably ask to keep the dress back in Equestria. You wouldn't want such a thing to get stolen. :\

I LOVED the scene were they get their cutie marks. It nearly brought tears of happiness to my eyes. :pinkiesad2::twilightsmile:

Great chapter, man! Can't wait to see more of this excellence!

Karyn, I think, has far more self-control than me. Then again, I'm pretty vulnerable to guilt-trips too.

Not much culture shock for the human, eh?

I'll believe it when I see it.

Ah.... This was, is, and will be a good laugh. Keep it up, my friend.

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