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pjabrony

Joined January 2012
466 followers

Sequels

  • Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human
    Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

    455,932 words · 8,319 views · 615 likes · 41 dislikes

Stories (25)

Blog Posts (37)


Lyra teleports a human to Equestria to learn more about their culture.  Some SF concepts in the first two chapters, but probably going to delve into slice-of-life and some platonic romance.

My first foray into fiction after a ton of essay writing.  C&C welcome!

Please also check out Nethelli's Far From Home, which has a similar premise and came first.  

Story image courtesy Steeve.

First Published
25th Jan 2012
Last Modified
29th Nov 2012

Comments ( 304 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 11h ago · 6 · ·

I like it, but everything seems to happen too fast, it needs more detail.

#2 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 10h ago · · ·

This seems familiar :trixieshiftright:

#3 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 10h ago · · ·

>>157328

I was just thinking the same thing because I'v been reading your fic which I'm really enjoying by the way:twilightsheepish:  

#4 · Chapter 2 · 135w, 9h ago · · ·

>>157328

I had the idea of a human meeting Lyra independently, and I searched the site before I started writing this and I did come across yours and read the first three chapters.  But I think I'm taking the premise in a different direction, since I'm working first-person and I also intend this to have far less comedy, more drama.  I've got first drafts of four more chapters now, and the two leads are going to be walked in on by Bon-bon, but other than that I think I'm plotting different.  I also think I'm the first Lyra-story writer to go with the parallel world explanation instead of the "Planet of the Apes" concept where pony society supplants human society.  At least, I haven't read any others (but would like to).

If anything, my inspiration for writing this was My Little Dashie, because I wanted there to be a human/pony crossed-worlds story that ended happier than that.

Still, I'll put a recommendation to your story in the description. Please don't ask me to take it down or not finish though.  As I said, I'm new to fiction and I'm in completely new territory here, just like my characters. :pinkiehappy:

I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes though.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 135w, 6h ago · · ·

Ah, the classic concept of fictons.  I'll have to keep your phrasing in mind; it's the most elegant way I've seen for explaining the concept.

#6 · Chapter 2 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

>>157650

No worries, just teasing.

Crazy that we both drew from the same source though. I baww'd hard when I read MLD :raritydespair:

[Before you know it, this site will be nothing but Lyra fanfics]

#7 · Chapter 1 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

>>158028

I lifted that from Robert Heinlein, but he's dead and can't sue.  :pinkiecrazy: In the next chapter I out-and-out steal his term for it, "World-as-myth."

If you're really interested, you should read his, "The Number of the Beast," though you might want to read "Time Enough for Love" first as Beast is a sort-of sequel.  

#8 · Chapter 3 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

>>160195

*nods*  I debated remarking about Heinlein and "world-as-myth", but wasn't sure if the reference was going to be caught.  One of these days I need to finish reading "The Number of the Beast," but the concept of fictons is easy enough to grasp without having read all of the book: for every story that is, was, or will ever be, there is a universe where it's non-fiction.

#9 · Chapter 3 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

i like where this is going, :rainbowkiss: gunna be a gooder

#10 · Chapter 3 · 134w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=5516688

My recommendation for you would also be to break up these long conversations with something actually happening... They're explaining human and pony culture, but not much outside of what the readers already know.

#11 · Chapter 3 · 134w, 6d ago · · ·

>>160667

I think you're right, and I'm going to work more on that in the upcoming chapters.  What I'm hoping this chapter does when the story is complete is two things:

1. Gives it some length, not in terms of word count, but in terms of time spent.  I want things to be slow so the reader feels like the two spent a weekend together.

2. Sets mood and entertains just based on the culture clash ideas.  

But yeah, with just 3 chapters, I could see how it's a little slow and boring at this point.

#12 · Chapter 1 · 134w, 5d ago · · ·

A fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic. And I love it, because both of them (Anthropology and Far From Home) are my favourite fanfics ever. Can't wait for more :rainbowkiss: !

#13 · Chapter 4 · 134w, 3d ago · · ·

What, no apple cider vinegar?  I sense another business opportunity for Sweet Apple Acres.

The big hangup with hay and grass is the cellulose content, which humans can't digest.  I doubt whether it would be a major staple food for ponies either.  Sure they can digest it, but the caloric content is relatively low.  It's a low-grade food, as compared with all the other veggies and fruits they have available.

#14 · Chapter 4 · 134w, 3d ago · · ·

great

#15 · Chapter 4 · 134w, 3d ago · · ·

:heart::heart::heart:

#16 · Chapter 4 · 134w, 3d ago · · ·

One love bro

#17 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

SHIT.JUST.GOT.REAL.

#18 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

I LOVE this story. Keep it coming!

#19 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

OH SHIT SON  :pinkiegasp:

#20 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shits about to go down

under ground

[ok that was crappy keep um coming:trollestia:]

#21 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

Dam-it Bon-Bon don't you know how to knock.:facehoof:

#23 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

Ahahahahaaa! This is great. Keep it up, I'm really enjoying this story so far. I can't wait for more.

#24 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

One love bro you're an awesome writer can you give any tips I was going to write a mlp halo crossover (not violent) and wondered what you have to say

#25 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 1d ago · · ·

Thanks so much to all you bronies/pegasisters for your praise/shock. :scootangel: :heart:

>>174472

I've never played the Halo, but I would say two things: One, be strict in your proofreading; nothing takes a reader out of the story more than a language error.  Two: write what you know. With the games I have played, I always have funny or odd anecdotes about things that happened in the game that I didn't expect.  Maybe put one of those in the story.

#26 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 18h ago · · ·

Awesome story! Keep up the great work :heart:

#27 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 11h ago · · ·

LOL

#28 · Chapter 1 · 134w, 4h ago · · ·

>>160195

he might not be dead, but if the phrase was copy-righted and the copy-right still stands (though I don't know why ti would), then whomever is in control of it now could sue. I doubt they will, though, since you're not making any money off of this.

#29 · Chapter 2 · 134w, 4h ago · · ·

>>160086

Nah, Lyra's a fad like Doctor Whooves. At first EVERYBODY was writing Doctor Whooves fics, (and a few still are, myself recently included), but they're less talked about now. Right now it's 'Lyra season' (I pronounce it leer-rah. Is that wrong?) and a bunch of folk are writing Lyra fics. That will probably change in the future to some other background-pony.

#30 · Chapter 3 · 134w, 4h ago · · ·

I should go to bed, but there's two more chapters!

#31 · Chapter 5 · 134w, 4h ago · · ·

>>173991

its her own house, why would she? :rainbowlaugh:

Alright, I chose to read the two chapters, and so worth it. Good night, everyBrony and Pegasister! :twilightsheepish:

#32 · Chapter 5 · 133w, 5d ago · · ·

I've read this fic 3 times already, JUST in anticipation for chapter 6. Oh, why isn't it out yet?!

#33 · Chapter 5 · 133w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Pardon me a moment... Okay... had to make sure my heart hadn't stopped. In the words of M.Night Shyamalan: "What a twist!" Right back to the grind come along Pinkie. Okay! Oh cookies! Can we get some? Fine... they cost 5 stars though. Enjoy them. Okie dokey lokey! "And that's how Camlio five stared that story!" Uh... Pinkie. What the hay are you talking about?

#34 · Chapter 1 · 133w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

“Really?! How wonderful, since you only have one tribe you must not have any wars in your history like ponies do!”

Oh god. I really want to be there just so I can break out in hysterical laughter in Lyra's face.

#35 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

Stoned with extreme prejudice.  Should be interesting to see how the next chapter leads in.  I can't imagine being de-petrified would be at all a pleasant feeling.

#36 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

I oddly enjoyed this fic, though I'm not a fan of Human in Equestria fics, this was done really well and if you were gonna ship a human and a pony, it might aw well be Lyra. I look forward to the next chapter where Lyra has to go all Phoenix Wright and save the day and get the petrification undone. I think this is well written and the humor and drama works well here.

As Payment for a great fic here is a funny little gif:

Peace Out.

#37 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

Positive comment

Notification of track

#38 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh, this is getting good.

#39 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

Great job and I have to ask, I'm working on my own fabrics right now and do you have any suggestions?

#40 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

*Witty comment here*

Post MOAR! :flutterrage:

#41 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

Damn. Silenced by a cockatrice. That's rough, dude. Rough. :fluttercry:

#42 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

............................*what the gaurds were like*:ALL RIGHT HERE I GO IM GOING TO RELIGUISLY SMAKE YOU IN THE FACE WITH JJJJJJEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS

well im back

SO MUCH FOR BEING CREATIVE *PULLS OUT A SWORD*

#43 · Chapter 3 · 133w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Wait so if they have fairy tales of us humans and we have fairy tales of them, isn't that like a fairy tale within a fairy tale. Fairy tale inception?!?!?!

#44 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 4d ago · · ·

The comparison to the Pieta was really clever. This story is really good, especially for a HIE story. ANOTHER.

#45 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 3d ago · · ·

Over 100 trackers and less than half are me!:pinkiehappy:

Once again, thank you all for your kind words.  

>>184809

Don't know much about fabrics, Rarity might be the one to ask about them.  All I know is fanfics, where I can tell you it's very important to be your own spell-checker.  

#46 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 3d ago · · ·

:fluttercry:

#47 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 3d ago · · ·

Weaponized Cockatrice? Brilliant!

Can't wait to see what happens next. :heart:

#48 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 2d ago · · ·

o_o

Woha, a Cockatrice? Flashbang in Equestria style, I guess. xD

#49 · Chapter 6 · 133w, 2d ago · · ·

Excellent

#50 · Chapter 7 · 133w, 1d ago · · ·

Tyrestia just got owned. I approve.

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