• Published 25th Apr 2012
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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human - pjabrony



Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

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137: Taking a Dinkferent Path

Derpy surveyed her kitchen. She knew how it was supposed to look, but she always liked to take a mental picture to remind herself. When the time came to clean up, she could then just make it like the picture and be done. Much like Karyn, she found the cleaning to be the worst part of cooking.

Picture in place, she went over to a high cabinet and pulled out a large pot. It had been her mother’s before her, and her father, no great cook himself, had kept it in storage. It had been a happy day when he was able to pass it on to her. She made a mental note to tell him that she was using it.

Next came dry ingredients. She set them out in precise order on her counter top. The visual cues were necessary for her. Either that, or she would be checking the recipe every five seconds.

Karyn had done well with a simple recipe before, but now Derpy wanted to show her a more complex one. That she had made it many times before and practically knew it by heart would be something Karyn didn’t need to know. But since it required a long cook time, she wanted to prepare as much as she could before. Once Karyn arrived, she would begin the mixing.

As the hour for her to travel to Earth struck, Derpy brushed off her hooves some errant corn starch that had spilled and made for her saddlebags. But just then she heard a knock on the door. Expecting no callers, she approached with curiosity. This only increased as she opened it to find a pegasus pony wearing the same uniform that she bore the rest of the week.

“Letter for Derpy Hooves. Needs a signature.”

“Mail on a Sunday? We don’t deliver then,” she said, hoping that the “we” would let the messenger know that she also belonged to the service.

“Special exception, ma’am.” He held out a clipboard and pen, which Derpy took in mouth and signed. When he presented the letter, she understood why.

It was only an imprint on a wax seal, but the pony who would co-opt the seal of the wave-ray sun and so fake a royal letter would have to be braver and more foolhardy than anypony Derpy knew. She thanked the messenger and brought it to the kitchen table to get the best reading light.

“Dear Ms. Hooves,” it began. “Time has passed, and I have resumed the education at the School for Gifted Unicorns. Yet every day I cast an eye toward a desk still kept vacant, and my heart hangs heavy. I think the moment has come for me to speak with your daughter about her future pursuits. While you have served her as well as any mother in these lands, she is of age, and perhaps would appreciate a consultation with a different authority. I assure you that I shall put forth all my power to ensure that Dinky finds her niche in life.

“I enclose a train ticket for her for today’s train. If this is not convenient, please write back with a more acceptable time. Sincerely yours, Celestia.”

Derpy scanned down the rest of her signature, filled with Regent of This, Viceroy of That, Dutchess of The Other. “How masterfully she writes!” Derpy said aloud. “She’s so diplomatic in telling me not to come with, and she even says we could pick a different time, as if we would!”

Dinky had taken to sleeping in on Sundays, but Derpy woke her up and showed her the letter. It took Dinky a few readings before her head would clear, but then she understood and looked at the train ticket. “There must be a mistake! This ticket is to the Crystal Empire.”

“The princess is good about things like that. She must have known she would be there when she sent the letter.”

“But I’ve never been that far away! I don’t even know where it is!”

Fortunately Derpy had been there. “It’s up north. But it doesn’t really matter. You just get on the train and get off when the announcement says ‘Crystal Empire.’ Which is a terminus, so you don’t even have to worry about missing your stop. The train’s not for a while, so you have plenty of time to get ready.”

“I wish you could come with me, Mommy.”

Derpy felt a pain at having to say no to her daughter, but she knew that she had to. “The letter says I can’t go. Besides, I have to cook today. I’m making your favorite stew.”

“Well, I guess that’s worth you staying for. Hey! What about Karyn?”

“I’m hoping she’ll help me with the stew.”

Dinky shook her head. “No, I mean, why can’t she come with me? The letter doesn’t say I can’t bring a friend.”

“Well, I need to go get Karyn anyway. She might not even want to go.”

Dinky was left to brood while Derpy took off for Earth. When she explained everything that had happened that morning, to her chagrin, Karyn was eager to go.

“No offense, but the idea of sitting around all day watching a stew and stirring it every few minutes doesn’t appeal to me. Yes, it’s exactly the sort of relaxing thing that I like to do sometimes, but right now I’ve been so busy that it’ll be easier to just keep busy. Besides, it sounds like Dinky really needs me.”

“But Princess Celestia only sent one ticket.”

By this time Karyn had toasted them each an English muffin and made a quick breakfast out of it, and Karyn was already on top of Derpy heading back to her house. “I’ve still got a few Equestrian bits. Actually, I think it’ll be just enough for a ticket of my own. It’ll be expensive, because I want to match the first class one that Dinky has, but like you said, it’s subsidizing the cheaper rides.”

Dinky walked with her to the station, stopping once so that Karyn could get her money out of the bank. If there was any change left over, she planned to keep it so that she could look at the Equestrian coins. Once there, she bought her own ticket and they waited for the train.

“What’s it like?” Dinky asked.

“Hm?”

“The Crystal Empire.”

“Oh. Well, it’s cold. Not once you’re in the city, but even there, the sun doesn’t shine as bright as it does down here. And there are mountains covered with ice so it feels cold. Plus all the crystals look like ice. Keep warm, is what I’m saying.”

Dinky nodded and watched the tracks. Karyn looked at her expression. Dinky was still nervous, and she sympathized. She had, in essence, been called for a meeting with the principal, and whatever you had or hadn’t done, that was still unnerving.

She was glad that she had come. Dinky would be even more nervous without her, while Derpy would be all right. But that was an oddity too. Karyn wasn’t supposed to be more experienced than a native pony.

The train arrived and they piled in. Dinky enjoyed the luxury of the private room more than Derpy had, and even though they weren’t traveling overnight, she had fun opening and closing the bed.

Once the conductor had been through and checked their tickets, Karyn shut the door for privacy. “So tell me,” she said, “how have you been coming along? With your magic I mean.”

“I think I’m there. Back to where I was. But at the same time...it’s hard to explain. I’ve had to relearn most of it, and it’s all working in a different way. Harder, more concentration needed. But I can do just about anything I used to. And a few things I couldn’t.”

“Oh?”

Dinky nodded. Karyn gestured for her to tell more. “Like shuffling a deck of cards. That’s a challenge for unicorns because even though it’s just levitation, it’s precision work. Don’t ask me why I’m better at it now than before. I can’t ask anypony.”

“So what do you think you’re going to tell Celestia?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to let her take the lead and ask me questions, and just answer them. What I want from her...I don’t really know that.”

Karyn ached to help, but she didn’t quite know how. “Even if it’s not to ask her, what do you want?”

“I don’t know. I’m still torn. On the one hoof, my mommy’s always taken care of me. On the other, most of the ponies my age are already on their own, and I want to do that too. It’s just that every time I’ve tried, something goes wrong.”

“Well, we’ll figure it out together. Maybe today will be a step forward.”

For the rest of the train trip, they sat in quiet reflection. Karyn faced the rear of the train so that Dinky could see all the sights. Once they came to the final stop, they stepped out and looked around the city.

“Where do we go from here?” asked Dinky.

“Last time I was here—hm.”

“What?”

“I just remembered, the last time I came it was because the ponies and the changelings were signing their peace treaty. They should be living fairly close. I hope I don’t run into Queen Chrysalis.”

Dinky thought about that. She wasn’t much of a fan of the queen either. “Oh, yeah. It would be awkward trying to explain why you can’t change anymore.”

“That, plus I just don’t like her. Come on, let’s go to the palace. If Princess Celestia’s in town, that’s probably where she’ll be.”

With a hasty step, they got on the road. Even Dinky could see how the city was laid out in a spoked wheel, and all the straight roads led to the palace at the center. There was the usual confusion at the gate, and Karyn for once wished that the easygoing nature of Equestria had room for the bureaucratic efficiency of Earth. But they gained admittance, and walked up a few flights of stairs to a room where Princess Celestia was waiting.

“Dinky!” she said, beckoning her into the room, “Ah, and Karyn too. Welcome.”

Karyn curtsied, but Dinky gave only a cursory bow as she sat across from the princess. Karyn was amused at how Dinky only regarded her as a teacher. She also tried to figure out what Celestia was doing there. There were no papers or signs of work in the room, and it in fact was sparsely furnished. Curiosity got the better of her.

“May I ask why we’re meeting here and not Canterlot? Is there some sort of summit meeting you came for?”

“Not exactly. There’s a particularly tasty cake that they make here, and I had a hankering for it, so to speak. So I arranged to move the travel plans.”

Karyn was amused to think that another of the popular images of the ruler of Equestria had a basis in fact. Dinky seemed to think it was more reasonable. As Celestia looked toward a side door, she put a more serious tone in her voice.

“But, I’m glad that you came this far. It tells me the first thing I wanted to know, which is whether you were still committed to working with me on your education. Or at least, it tells me that you are not so uncommitted that you would not take a train trip to an area unfamiliar to you. Incidentally, can you tell me why you had to leave school?”

For the first time, Dinky seemed unsure of herself with the princess. Karyn decided to take a risk. “She can tell you. But she declines to do so.”

Celestia’s eyes never left Dinky’s. “Is what Karyn says true?”

“Yes. I will not tell you.”

“Very well. I do not require an answer to that. But I do for this: do you wish to return to school? If you do, there will be an intense course of catch-up learning for you. You must review and test for everything you learned last year, while learning what your fellow gifted unicorns have done during your absence.”

Dinky paused again, and Karyn was worried that she was going to have to continuously serve as Dinky’s mouthpiece, but at last she came out with, “I’m not sure how much equity there is in it. Even if I complete the course, I don’t think I have a taste for scholarship. I don’t want to go into research or teaching.”

Celestia smiled. “I’m glad you came to that conclusion.”

“You are?”

“Oh, yes. I realized that about you a long time ago. But it is the sort of thing that cannot be told. It’s better to let the pony herself figure it out. Do you know what it is that you do want to do?”

“Not really.”

“I have certain ideas about that too, but again, better not to say.”

Dinky was skeptical, and annoyed at how Celestia seemed to be lording her superior knowledge. She wanted to turn it around. “Then, do you think I should just quit school?”

“I propose a compromise. Return to school for a few weeks. In the first place, it will allow for an orderly removal. You still have some items in your dorm room. But I’d also like you to study and complete the tests you missed. If you pass, I shall allow you to consider yourself an alumna of the school, in good standing, even though you would not walk with your fellows. Essentially, a provisional graduate. Perhaps, in your later years, you would return to complete the course. But it is not required.”

“Can I ask my momm—my mother about this? And Karyn?”

“Certainly. Advice is always helpful. But it must be your decision.”

Without waiting to be asked, Karyn said, “I’d jump at the chance. Princess Celestia’s being quite generous, carving out an exception for you. Go, work hard, and maybe you’ll figure out what your next step is there.”

“You’re right! I will do it! I’ll convince mother it’s right, one way or another.”

“Excellent!” said Princess Celestia. “Then, since the business is concluded, relax with me and enjoy some of the cake when it gets here.”

She shot another look to the door, and as if on cue, it opened to reveal one of the crystal ponies bearing cake on a tray. He had opened the door walking backward, and as he turned to face the princess, the sight of the other two threw him off just enough. Though balancing the cake tray on one hoof, his weight was leaning that way and he needed that hoof on the ground to stay stable. Karyn dived forward out of instinct, but Dinky kept her cool and floated the cake away. The crystal pony recovered quickly to jab a hoof under the tray, but he had seen what happened, and Dinky kept the tray locked in her field until he deposited it on the table.

“Thanks a lot,” he said. Karyn took a look at him for the first time. Seeing a crystal pony still threw her off, because it didn’t seem biologically possible for a land-based quadruped to reflect light that way. His coat was a pale yellow, so in her mind she thought of him as a topaz or garnet.

“No problem. Lucky Princess Celestia’s cake didn’t get damaged, or you might have lost your head!”

“Eh? Would she really do that? I thought that...I mean Princess Cadance is in charge—“

“I’m teasing,” said Dinky. “Everypony’s afraid of Princess Celestia when they don’t have to be. She’s nice enough to figure out what’s best for them. By the way, I’m Dinky Hooves. What’s your name?”

“Oh, I’m called Able Baker, Ms. Hooves.”

“Just Dinky is fine.”

With a blush, Able sliced the cake for the princess and, at her direction, the others. Karyn took a bite. “This is really good. I’m not sure it’s worth traveling all this way, but then again, I can’t do so at the drop of a hat.”

Celestia smiled at her. Dinky just brooded. “Problem, Dinky?”

“Oh, no. Just thinking. Able, he’s the only one who makes this, right? That’s why you have to come here?”

“Mmhm.”

“He must be at the top of the cake industry. A really important pony.”

Celesita gave a noncommittal nod. They finished the cake in silence, then Able returned to take the tray. Dinky brightened as he entered. “Did you all like it?” he asked.

“It was awesome,” she said. “Can I ask you something? Oh, sorry, one moment. Princess, are we done meeting?”

“I believe so.”

“Great. Able, can you escort us back to the train station?”

“Really? Sure. Just let me put this away and wash my hooves.”

Dinky and Karyn walked out to the antechamber, and Karyn poked Dinky in the ribs. “You like him, don’t you?”

“I just met him, but I’ve never seen a pony that...sparkly.”

“Right, you’ve never seen a crystal pony before. They all do that. But irrespective of that, he does seem a fine stallion, if I’m any judge, which I’m not.”

Able came out of a side door just then, fairly galloping toward them. “Dinky, I’m glad you waited. Let’s go. Oh, and thank you again for your help in there. I’ve never seen anypony do anything like that. It’s magic!”

“Well, yeah,” Dinky said. “But it’s just levitation.”

“Still...magic!”

Karyn realized she was going to have to be the cultural interpreter. “There aren’t any crystal unicorn ponies, Dinky. All the magic they have up here is Earth pony magic.”

“What’s an Earth pony?” Able asked.

“OK, amend my statement. It’s crystal pony magic. Able, Earth ponies are another kind, like Dinky they don’t sparkle, but they also don’t have horns. And then there are pegasi, who have wings.”

“Like Princess Celestia.”

Dinky took over. “She’s an alicorn. Pegasus wings and unicorn horn. I can’t believe you’ve never been down south where we have all types. We should talk more.”

“We should.” They had arrived outside the train station. “Will you write me?”

“Yes. You can get me in Ponyville, but I’ll be in Canterlot too for a while, now. I’ll update you on when I’m in which place.”

Karyn shook her head. “You guys need to invent text messaging.”

Able hadn’t taken much notice of Karyn, but now he eyed her suspiciously, wondering if she wasn’t also some mysterious creature from the south, or else a sort of familiar to a unicorn. But since she was Dinky’s friend, he treated her as a friend too. But still, his main focus was on Dinky. “Will you be coming back?”

“I don’t know,” Dinky said. “It’s my first time here. I’ve never had occasion to before. But I’ll try.”

“Do it. There’s the train.” Indeed, a train was steaming up for a run. “Good-bye, Dinky.”

“Good-bye, Able.”

Karyn had to drag her on the train before it left, and she was still looking at Able from the vestibule. “You’re downright smitten!” she said.

“Maybe so. A baker, you know. Hm.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing specific. But if he runs a bakery that caters to Princess Celestia, he’s got to be doing all right for himself.”

Biting her lip, Karyn said, “Just don’t be too hasty. You need to get to know him before you get closer.”

“That’s why I’ll be writing him. Ooh, I just thought of something. Mommy will know whenever he writes me. She has the route that goes by our house. Unless I wait until I’m back in Canterlot.”

“You weren’t planning on telling her?”

Dinky blinked as she realized that she hadn’t even considered telling her mother. “I...I just figure it’ll go badly. She wasn’t good with me going off to school. The idea of having a coltfriend, who knows what she’ll do. Plus as you said, I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere. And if it doesn’t, then there’s nothing to tell her. Promise me you won’t say anything?”

“Of course not.”

The rest of the train ride was uneventful, and they reached Derpy’s house as the sun was setting. “Welcome back! What did Princess Celestia say?”

Dinky gave her a rundown of their conversation, leaving out any mention of Able.

“That’s great!” Derpy ultimately said. “Though I’ll be a little disappointed that you won’t be fully graduated.”

“Yes, but on the other hoof, I’ll have a chance to actually do things before any of my contemporaries.”

“I hope you figure out what it is you want to do soon.”

“I have some ideas.” Dinky looked at Karyn with a wink. “Anyway, how about that stew?”

“Oh, right!” Derpy ran to the pot to give it a stir and a taste. “It’s almost ready. Karyn, of course you’ll stay?”

“Of course.” She made herself busy setting the table with Dinky’s help. With full control of her magic back, she could lay out all the spoons with one spell.

Derpy served the stew right out of the pot and they all sat around eating. Dinky and Karyn kept sneaking looks at each other, and if Derpy noticed, she didn’t say anything. After finishing first, Dinky said, “Would you excuse me, Mommy? After today I need to go take care of something.”

“What is it?”

“Just something I need to write.”

Derpy smiled. “Oh, right. You’re going to be studying again for your exams. Just like old times. Go on, then.” Dinky dashed from the table, and Karyn was content that her lie had been one of omission. “How was she, really?” Derpy asked.

Karyn looked up at the stairs to Dinky’s room. “I think she’s going to be all right.”

Author's Note:

We're going right back to fan suggestions. Last time, we had a prompt by Morphy. This time I took an idea from...Morphy. And yes, I said that I would only take one idea per person. The reason I am doing another one of Morphy's is simple: I lied. So come back and read that one too.

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