Luna and Nightmare Moon are transported to the Capital Wasteland during the final battle against her sister. Join them in their attempt to return home and reclaim her birthright with the help of a girl named Sarah, fresh out of Vault 101.
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Also known as Sarah intimidating those guards. I can actually see her doing something like this.
4355626 lolwat? where is that from? Looks familiar.
4355791
Known as the Navy Seal Copypasta.
4355626 Edited to Be more lore friendly, Feel free to edit for other factions if you see fit.
Every time I play Fallout 3 I always have the strangest urge to simply mow over anything that stands against me and laugh at the mangled corpses I leave in my wake. They typically aren't mangled when I initially kill them but rather that I punch their limbs until they are severed.
What I'm trying to say is that I see all of these Fallout crossovers and when the main character starts getting emotional I just scoff in my head. Not because the writer is bad, but because it goes against everything I have learned playing the game. That being that violent mutilation of your foes is the way to go in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Holy christ. This chapter is dark, certainly more than I thought it would be. I was expecting the peaceful resolution. It was very morbid, and you did an excellent job of essentially breaking Sarah. But, you broke her for all the wrong reasons; reasons that killed the chapter's story, and left me confused and somewhat upset. You tried to make Luna and Nim help, but ended up making them ruin everything, all while having Sarah be completely oblivious. It was all their fault that everyone died.
Then Sarah just says thanks. And she's surprised that Mack kills himself.
No, it was him seeing Luna's and Nim's brutality that did it. Sarah could've resolved this on her own, and she should've. This chapter should've focused on her, and her alone. This isn't about Nim and Luna, this is about Sarah making peace with the past and moving on, like in the game. I'll be honest here, this chapter wasn't good. I know where you were trying to go with this, but it didn't tie together well. I believe you can recover from this, but I don't know how you went wrong here. I'd lean towards Sarah realizing it was Luna's and Nim's fault, reacting accordingly, then making amends. That's how I'd try to salvage this. All in all, this chapter gets a Quest Failed: Trouble on the Homefront/10.
Well one thing is certain, if Sarah doesn't end up in Equestria with Luna then she likely won't live much longer after her return.
Even the strongest of us stumble and fall now and then. That's when your friends pick you up, brush the dust of your clothes, and help you to keep moving onwards. Shit happens, whether you want it to happen or not.
4356042
I'd like to point out that this is coming at Sarah at possibly the worst possible time in her life. Her father has just died and that rocked her. In all honesty, she shouldn't be up and about at this time at all, least of all out in the Wasteland dealing with personal issues like this. She's going to cave on herself even if there is an actual reason why it happened.
Furthermore; of course Luna and Nim made things worse. Changes aren't always for the better and sometimes following the advice of someone who went by the title of Nightmare isn't a good idea.
I can of course understand why you don't like the chapter; it's not really one that's supposed to be liked.
4356107
You make some good points, but I still believe that you didn't focus enough on Sarah. You put too much emphasis on Nim and Luna screwing things up. I understand that this is the lowest Sarah's ever been, but you never really touched on the subject until the very end, and at that point, it felt arbitrary. That's really my main criticism. This was a Sarah-centric chapter, but it never really focused on Sarah. That's where you fell short. All I really got from this was that power armor can stop 10mm bullets. And, as for it not being a chapter I'm supposed to like, I think that's a poor excuse. There is a difference between 'love-to-hate,' and just plain dislike. In a chapter that I love to hate (Parting Words, for example) I can appreciate and enjoy your work, even though it makes me feel empty inside. This just wasn't your standard.
4356147
Ah, well I'll endeavor to make the next one better than. Not every shot is a bull’s eye and what not. Thanks for the constructive criticism though, I don't grow without it and I'm thankful for all I get.
4356182
That's what I'm here for. You've already proven your talent, so I have no doubt that you'll churn out more quality content.
4355626 I always loved seeing that, especially the part about 'gorilla warfare' and being a Navy Seal that has access to the Marine Corp. arsenal...
The only difference is that Sarah can back her words up with action, and the other is a pissant thirteen year old.
4356042
I second that especially since we didn't see the fallout w/ the rest of the vault
4356042
I would say that Luna and more especially Nightmare do have a part to play here.
The Vault is Sarah's Celestia and neither dealt with theirs in a good and healthy manner and only see one way to deal with such a situation.
Stupid Amata should never have called out for her...
Luckily she has a psychic link to someone who can help reach into the shell she's bound to encase herself in,..
Keep going! ;)
In the previous chapter, I asked for the next chapter to be less adorable so it wouldn't give me a heart attack. *sigh* Looks like I got what I wanted.
Whooo wow, this was dark, and intense :I
...
I like it!
Good show my friend ^^
Dang, I have a severe dislike of Amata now, but then again I never really liked her to start with :/ she's such a bitch in this and in the game.
I wanna give Sarah a hug right now ;-; legit.
And Mack is a dumbass, really dude? you blew your brains out? wow, good going *slow clap* and he manged to pull the trigger three times? hmm... something doesn't seem right about that.
But good job on breaking Sarah, legit, you broke her... like a glass vase from a shelf pushed off by a cat, you're the cat, she's the vase X3
All in all, this was a very good chapter, and aptly named to, she did fail in a sense... eh.
Good show man, good show, I look forward to the next chapter soon~
Ya friend
~Dustchu
4355835 Clerly you need to focus more on your speech checks. If you want to the game basicly allows for a light moral codex, and lots of missons can go lead onto differnt ones depending on what you do. Of course the "screw diplomacy" option is often there but you don't need to play it that way. At least thats my point of view.
Also you should take the bloody mess perk for ultmate mutilation! And the extra dmg is nice to i guess...
4357485
It's not that diplomacy isn't an option, it's that it is the last option. The game won't let me kill someone I'm talking to.
i hope we see butch again. always did love finding him in that bar and getting him to follow me. putting him in power armor and gatling laser always did make him a machine of death
And there goes all of the work Luna and Nim have done to make Sarah accept herself. I'm thinking the best thing for Sarah to do is finish Project Purity, wipe out the Enclave, and then come to Equestria with Luna where she can use her skills to protect ponies. Just imagine Sarah in power armor vs a manticore.
Well that was... interesting to say the least. Sarah is taking the death of her father about as well as you would expect, and going back to the vault certainty didn't help. I still think you made Amata a bit over-dramatic, but I see where you're going with the 'old-style' type of mindset that would have been preserved in the vault. Giving diplomacy over to Nim might not have been the best idea, and I'm sure there could have been other options aside from slicing the throats of the freshly recruited guards. Maybe Luna could have sliced through all their weapons, rendering them useless? Or perhaps she could have wounded them instead? It's a vault, even with their doctors gone they should have had more than enough medical supplies to fix a few sword wounds and bullet holes.
Rating for the story so far: 8.5/10.
Chapter: 7/10. (little rushed)
I'm worried about when Luna is going to be whisked back to Equestria. With the way you've been handling the timeline I would have expected her to have been summoned back by now, but if i knew whether or not the Equestria chapters lined up with the wasteland chapters, it might not be a problem.
Keep it up!
I knew this wasn't going to go well.
Sarah's reaction is extreme, but justified.
And the intimidation was beautiful.
Woah, dark chapter, I loved it as a piece of writing, but I feel bad for poor Sarah... I hope that Luna and Nim can manage to help her through this... And I hope that at the end when Luna is called back to Equestria that she takes Sarah with her...
4356086
Except for when your friends are what tripped you up in the first place...stupid Nightmare.
4360116 Eh, the Overseer had it coming, from the look of things. As much one may want for a peaceful resolution, words will only get you so far.
everthing could of been avoided if the mysterious stranger was there
If I recall my gameplay correctly, Allan Mack CAN NOT be reasoned with. If the original Overseer is dead, and Mack is in charge, then you can't reason with him. As I recall, even if you agree and feel the vault should remain closed Mack still tries to kill you rather than let you leave. He is an amoral wack job that should never have been allowed into power in the first place. Just having Mack be the current Overseer in this case means it was going to end badly. As such, Nim isn't entirely responsible for things going as bad as they did. She did probably make them somewhat worse, but Mack was going to die, no other way about it.
I'd like to point out that there is no way you're going to pull the trigger on that 10mm pistol twice, let alone three times to the head. Do you have any idea what 10mm does to the human body!? Spoiler, it's ugly.
Is it a bad thing that on my first encounter with Mack as the overseer, I fired a missile into his head the moment he attacked?
4365427 Fallout 2?
6921062 and 3, and new Vegas, and 4.
6070335 Combat Shotgun. So satisfying.
7992353
I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I mezzed the SOB and then used the time he was stunned to back out of the room, switch to my Fat Man, and then launch a mininuke at his sorry ass...
4360974
I love your profile avatar, i love zero punctuation
sarah's self inflicted pain doesn't taste as good as luna's.
but it will do.