Luna and Nightmare Moon are transported to the Capital Wasteland during the final battle against her sister. Join them in their attempt to return home and reclaim her birthright with the help of a girl named Sarah, fresh out of Vault 101.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have been waiting for this! Favorited and will be read later, gotta go to school.
All of my yes. ALL OF IT!
Quite the interesting start...
interesting... very interesting...
I'll be keeping an eye on this.
fuck yeah!!!
I love the premise, we need more of these stories. Keeo it up!
This is Great!
Added to read later. Was waiting for this to show up. Also FUK YEA it always feels good to see my own coverart used.
The lone wanderer not so lonely anymore.
INSTANT FAVE!!!
quite interesting i can say.
keeping an eye on it.
Good so far, I await more.
3326672 Don't suppose you've heard of a series of books called The Saga of Seven Suns have you? Coz if this stories cover-art is anything to go by, you're a good artist and I was wondering if you'd do a little cover-art for a crossover fic I'm rolling around the idea of?
I'm really enjoying your writing style, it has an excellent balance of description and character. Also, I applaud your decision in regards to Luna's speech; I'd much rather see her speak normal English well than try to speak in Middle English and botch it.
There were a few spelling things I noticed. "Peaked" is spelled with two "e"s if you want it to mean that they were looking at something. "She peeked around the corner". When someone first sees something, it is their first "sight" of it, as opposed to "her first site of the super duper mart".
Overall, I'm really pleased with the story. Please continue.
want it need it love it
I don't usually read Human stories on FIMFiction cause I don't care for HiE's, but since this is a POE (Pony Outside Equestria), I'll make an exception. .
Acting as editor? Does that mean you need one? also lol an editor for ed. pretty sure I laughed harder than I was supposed to at that.
It's good so far, just one thing that I noticed, It's not Moria, it's Moira. Other than that, I'm pretty interested in this.
MOAR!
"What if during the final battle against Celestia, Nightmare Moon was not sent to the moon, but instead to the Capital Wasteland."
It should be: "..Capital Wasteland?" It's a question, not a statement. (This is in your blurb, by the way).
If you need help editing, don't be afraid to hit me up!
"Darn tootin'!"
-Gizmo the Unimpressive
Awesome story. I love Fallout 3 and caught your reference to the Firelance. Carry on writing/editing/making this awesome story.
YES YES YES YES!!!!!
Have to go to class, will read, and probably like, later.
Okay, now that I've had time to read this; good start, nice to see someone who's not Ethan-levels of jackass or OP from you (no offense; he's still awesome, just good to see variety), and while the start is somewhat plain it establishes things fairly well and leaves a lot of time/space shenanigans open to occur due to the gaps in timelines between the present of Equestria and the ending of F3.
Anyway; faved, upvoted, and waiting for more. Not bad ed.
I lick it.
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/309384/pug-licking-screen-o.gif
Oooooooh~ now i want more~
Noticing some bias right off the bat:
"Luna and Nightmare Moon must work together to make their way home and reclaim the throne that is rightfully theirs."
Soooooo... rising up in rebellion and threatening to cause eternal night just because your pissy about not getting enough attention is proper justification now, eh?
If you don't mean it that way, might want to reword it a bit.
3329224
It's telling their opinion of the situation, it's not my bias right there, it's theirs and is compleatly intentional
YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Why? Why? You always write the best stories and I can't read them all.
Oh, hey, you released it.
and so the confusion begins
3329680
Yep, thoughts?
3329719
I think you mean fun
3329728
Going to read it in a minute here.
Nooooo, you're doing it again.
Stahp. This is a copout and we discussed this long ago. Remember when VATS ruined some of your previous story? Just have basic firefights rather than using the game's mechanisms to avoid them. A longer battle is a much more interesting one, even if the readers have to droll their way through it. If anything, resort to adrenaline when in the heat of a big firefight. Not the same as VATS, but, Sarah will react much quicker then normal and it's much more believable.
Just don't use it too much. Big firefights. Remember that.
Other than that, it's good so far.
3329855
I figured that as long as I didn't actually stop time, which I didn't (she's just 'in the zone') it would be fine. She's not going to be able to freeze the fight, she was just double checking her aim (I probably phrased it wrong )
And thanks, I hope you continue to enjoy it
3329978
Yeah, the phrasing is what put me off. I'm fine with the Pip-Boy telling her how accurate her shots may be based on her current conditions, considering the Pip-Boy reads bio-metric data.
3329986
Okay, I'll work on the phrasing in the future, now I just have to decide on when to release the next chapter...
3330004
Tomorrow. Lol.
3330015
Na, I got featured in a matter of around an hour and a half, I think that calls for some celebration
Hooray! Badass pony in the Wasteland! Please let Nightmare Moon/Luna get her Moon controlling magical powers back, I want her to toss around some Super Mutant Behemoths like juggling pins.
_Finally_.
Now we can have badassery committed by a badass pony, without fear of breaking canon, or of soul-destroying revelations.
_Thank you!_
Someone already made mention of it, but I thought I would clarify. Luna speaks Middle English, not Old English. If you were to try and read Old English, without prior knowledge of it, it would seem as alien to you as someone seeing the Russian Cyrillic alphabet for the first time.
I applaud your choice to use current English though because, unless you're a Shakespeare buff, reading Middle English would prove difficult to say the least - much less writing in it.
That being said, I love this story so far, and am looking forward to reading the next chapter with great fervor.
P.S. This might just be my personal pet peeve, but you have a habit of typing "the woman" a bit too frequently when referring to Sarah.
And thus, let it be known that the first word of human-pony communication was
It would be glorious event, to be talked over and over again in the far flung future.
Hmm, fallout, and MLP? I love it! :D
Two of my favorite things rolled into one, awesome.
Good show on this first chapter my friend, and awesome work throughout ^^
I look forward to reading more :)
Some kind of alien alien weapon? Possible firelance reference?
3327408 Pleeeeeeease do another Vampire Cheerilee story! Those stories were the best ever in the history of ever!
4328077 You should read Fallout Equestria after this. It is probably one of the most well known MLP fics ever. (And my personally favorite book/fic ever.)
4406839
OOooo, I think I shall~ :D
And it is? nice~
Thanks for the tip buddy~
Allow me to apply the 'Cinema Sins' concept here.
I call it, Fan-Fiction Cock-Ups!
Where the fuck did the sword come from? Nowhere until that point was there any mention of a sword.
Did Banana Butt suddenly pull the elements out of her cavernous plot alongside the sword? There's no mention of the elements up until that point either.
If you're referring to the mediaeval belief that aristocratic blood was blue, then 'blueblood' should be two separate words.
For the third time, where does this stuff keep coming from? I just keep finding it a slap in the face whenever something appears out of nowhere (depending entirely how the author goes about it).
It took Celestia the entire combined power of herself and the Elements to originally defeat Nightmare Moon, and not even in this fic could she do it, but somehow Clover could zap NMM into an entirely different space-time reality with a spell? 'Splain that shit.
Reminds me of Doctor Who
There are so many things wrong with this paragraph. 1: It should be "fend for herself outside the Vault" as opposed to 'in the Vault'. 2: Why would Sarah's best friend slap Sarah after Sarah protected her?
This is just me, but it would sound better written as "her breathing was even, and, most importantly, the safety was off."
How could she have been trained for this type of thing when she's been in the Wasteland for less than two days, and not even the Vaults trained people to fight in the Wasteland when they didn't even know what to expect?
I've clocked a combined total of 260 hours on both Fallout 3 and New Vegas, and I'm pretty darn sure there's iron sights on all the weapons.
Where the hell did Luna's sword come from again?!?!
I hope you don't mind, but I did this largely because I thought it would be fun to do XD
Edit: I recommended this story to a friend of mine because I love the crossover, he read the first chapter then my comment, and he basically agreed with me on every level haha
Shouldn't Luna be speaking in the tongue of olde?