Rarity's family name is in shambles, and her fortune is nonexistent. To return what her father squandered, she and her good friend Pinkie Pie turn to piracy, commandeering a magical airship and kidnapping the princess's personal student.

When Princess Celestia learns of Twilight and Applejack's abduction, she doesn't agree to pay the ransom. No, she hires the sky's greatest tactical mind, the Daring Swordspony Rainbow Dash, and her sidekick, Fluttershy. As the two groups engage in a game of cat and mouse, more dangerous threats hang on the horizon. Aztec Curses, angry gods, and a mysterious figure known only as the Derp Pirate Roberts.

Will the six Elements of Harmony be able to gather the seven pieces of eight, or will the world fall to utter chaos, and rise up as an empire of anarchy and piracy?

Now with its own TV Tropes page thanks to Cleverpun: TV Tropes

* Voted Twice as the #1 Comedy FanFic on Equestria Daily *

Well, what can I say? This is the story of a man. Or maybe he was... a pony-man. Or maybe he was just a... Pony! But he was still...

FIREWAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!

... Yeah, this is that story. The story where a guy goes to a party and wakes up in Ponyville. That guy (I know him as 'me') seems to have landed in his own personal little heaven. Hell, I even brought me a pack of endless cigarettes. How does that not kick all kinds of flank?

So yeah, everything was awesome. The End.

Well, except for The Nightmare. And Trixie. And some jerk named David. Then there was that Azure Flora pony. And that skank princess that steals my goddamn phone!

Listen, summaries just... They just don't cut it. If you want the story, it's provided right here.

Just a warning. I use cusswords like a big boy.

ALSO LUNA IS NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN TROLL!

Fourteen authors, one story. I foresee precisely zero problems.

This is the culmination of a round-robin event in which a whole bunch of neato folks whose words you may have read before wrote a chapter each in one big story, with the proviso that they were only allowed to see the preceding chapter. This was totally a cool idea, like, a year ago.

This is the story that they wrote, and these are the people who wrote it:

Arcainum
Blueshift
Zay-el
Alexstrazsa
Ninestempest
Lucky Dreams
Obselescence
Whatever Rusty's Fimfic Name Is
Ponydora Prancypants
Cold in Gardez
Eakin
Wanderer D
Dawn Scroll
Pen Stroke

There are no elephants.

I have no idea how long I've been here, this gap between the seconds. It could be minutes, days, ages, I can't tell. I can never tell.

Maybe that's for the best.

The sun never rises, but it never sets. The clock never ticks, and I never rest. I never hunger, nor thirst. I certainly never tire.

It makes it much harder to tell the time I spend here...

Yet it never feels like none at all...

Twilight Sparkle eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous TV producer.