Throw Away the Key, Rottin' in the Hole
Twilight woke to the sound of singing. Her head hurt too much to pay attention, but the song seemed to be about drinking and bad eggs. It seemed a bit silly for her tastes. She turned away from the noise to get more sleep.
“Drink up me ‘earties, yo ho. Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!”
“Pirates?” Twilight shouted, eyes shooting open as the previous day came rushing back. She whipped her head around, throwing her hooves out and losing her balance. She grabbed at the cot, but only managed to drag the blanket to the floor with her.
“Oh, you’re awake!” a painfully cheerful voice said with a giggle. “I was worried that you were hurt, but I didn’t think I hit you that hard. Sorry about that by the way. I don’t usually hit ponies. I prefer saying hi or throwing them a party. But the captain told me I couldn’t throw you a party. Well, actually she said I couldn’t throw you a party there. Whether I get to later is still up in the air.”
Twilight blinked in confusion. She was in a small cell with nothing more than a cot. On the other side of the bars was a bright pink earth pony wearing a brown vest. A black bandanna did little to control her wiry tangle of pink mane.
“So, I’m supposed to make you comfy until the cap’n can come see you. Anything I can do for you?”
“Let me out?” Twilight asked without much hope.
“Oh, right. I guess it’s not much fun being locked up like that.” The pink pony bounced over to the cell door before pausing. “Wait, the captain told me not to open these cells.” She narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusatory hoof at Twilight. “You’re a tricky one, Tricky McTrickypants. But you have to get up pretty early in the day to pull one over on ol’ Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight sighed. It was worth a try, at least. “Where’s Applejack.”
“Next cell over, sugarcube,” her friend said her from somewhere to her left.
“Okay, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said. “Why don’t you start by telling me why you attacked our ship and kidnapped us.”
“Hmm, Captain Rarity didn’t say anything about what I could tell you, so okay. We attacked your ship so we could kidnap you. Actually, you probably meant why did we attack your ship to kidnap you, not why did we attack your ship and why did we kidnap you. Anyway, we kidnapped you because you’re the princess’s personal student, and we can ransom you off for gold and power. At least, I think you’re the princess’s personal student. You didn’t introduce yourself. You’re Twilight Sparkle, right?”
“No,” Twilight said with her best poker face. “I’m... that is definitely not my name. My name is, uh, Daze. Rainy Daze.”
Pinkie’s face fell to a thoughtful frown. “But, if you’re not Twilight... uh-oh. Hehe, um, I’ll be right back, Miss Daze.”
“Pinkie,” a new voice said, tight with frustration, “what are you doing?”
Pinkie Pie turned. “Oh, hi, Captain Rarity. I was just talking to Miss Sparkle here, and it turns out she’s not actually the princess’s student, or even named Twilight. She’s actually...” Pinkie trailed of, glancing down uncomfortably. “You don’t look very happy, Captain.”
“Pinkie, she’s lying.”
“But why would she—”
“Pinkie! Just trust me on this one. Go guard something else.”
“What do you want me to gu—”
“Anything!”
With a salute, the pink pony bounced away and a white unicorn took her place. Twilight stared, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t known what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t this.
The pirate captain was beautiful. She wore a dress of shimmering blue, short enough to keep from inconveniencing her. The sheath of a dagger was barely visible on her left hind-leg. Her deep purple mane and tail were well cared for, falling nearly to the floor. She dipped her head in a curtsy. “Welcome aboard the Falling Feather, Twilight Sparkle. I deeply apologize for the circumstances that led to this meeting.”
“You mean the assault, or the kidnapping?”
Rarity smiled sheepishly. “Both, of course. It is not our intention to harm you in any way. If all goes well, you’ll be on your way in a matter of days. And so long as you’re aboard my ship, you’ll be treated with respect.”
“You know who I am, don’t you? The student of Princess Celestia herself.” Twilight’s cheeks flushed slightly, as they did anytime she made this point, but this was no time for modesty. “What’s to stop me from tearing this ship to pieces?”
Rarity gestured to her own head. Twilight reached up with a hoof and gingerly felt her horn. A thick ring of metal held firmly about midway up her horn.
“A necessary, if distasteful precaution. I wish you no pain on this journey, so please don’t attempt to cast any spells. I’m sure you’re hungry. I’ll send somepony up with food.” With another curtsy, Captain Rarity left.
“Ah reckon we’re in a bad spot,” Applejack said from her cell.
Twilight nodded in agreement before realizing Applejack couldn’t see her. “It could be worse. We could have been taken prisoner by some bloodthirsty psychopath.”
“Ah don’t know. A bloodthirsty psychopath might not be all there upstairs. Might forget things, like that inhibitor ring. Ah think smart and in control are scarier.”
Twilight frowned. “Do you think she meant what she said? About not wanting to hurt us?”
“Yeah,” Applejack said. “But Ah also think she won’t hesitate if she has too. Don’t do anything to upset them for now. If we’re gonna escape, we have to do it on the first try. And escaping from our cells won’t do us any good if we’re a thousand feet up.”
Twilight settled back down on the cot to wait.
*****
“Princess Celestia!”
The princess looked up to watch a tall white stallion stride through her study’s doorway. He was a unicorn with a blue mane, fully dressed in armor. “Shining Armor,” she said as way of greeting.
“I just heard about the attack on the Golden Alicorn. Is it true?”
The princess nodded sadly. “It appears they were after your sister. She’s been kidnapped.”
Shining Armor ground a hoof to the floor. “She shouldn’t have been allowed to travel alone. What are we going to do?”
“Doubtless they’ll send a letter asking for a ransom,” Celestia said. After a moment of thought, she looked up. “Shining Armor, there is a place near the air docks called the Griffon’s Nest. Have you heard of it?”
“Of course. It’s where all of Canterlot’s lowlifes get together to crawl into a bottle.”
“I want you to go there. Tonight.”
“Me? Why, your majesty?”
“If we pay this ransom, it will make us appear weak to any others who may turn to piracy. I can’t allow that.”
“But, Princess—”
“However, I have no intention of leaving Twilight in the hooves of these pirates. Shining Armor, you’re going to the Griffon’s Nest to hire a ship, and you will deal with this personally.”
“I... yes, your majesty.”
Celestia smiled confidently. “As it turns out, I know just the mare for the job.”
*****
The blue pegasus leaned back, face blank. In her hooves were a pair of twos, a four, a seven, and a queen.
She brushed a lock of rainbow hair from her eyes before pushing a large pile of bits to the center of the table. “Your move, gentlecolts.”
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Here we go... Shining Armor, you're in for an adventure!
whats this, like Pirates of the Caribbean, only in the sky and not the sea? cool. keep up the good work. hope to see more.
Shining Armor as Shining Armor,
Rainbow Dash, as a Pirate Captain.
I eagerly await whatever wonderfully despicable fate you have waiting for Fluttershy. My guess is barmaid.
Yes! Another chapter!
Can't wait for more!
I'm enjoying this so far, and it looks like there's alot to look forward to. Hope the chapters grow in length as we progress.
How can a pony hold cards with hooves? Pirate superpowers !
This chapter:
mlpchan.net/pony/src/1347338115822.gif
How in hell would Rainbow be able to hold a hand of cards? Some people have issues with that and we have 10 digits.
I like this story! and I've got the Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack to enjoy while reading it!
>>> Twilight reached up with a hoof and gingerly felt her horn. A thick ring of metal held firmly about midway up her horn.>>>
1744611 Like what pry tell
I foresee RD being a kind of Jack Sparrow type captain
1744611
I remember reading one story where Twilight's magic was blocked by putting a tinfoil cone on her horn. Apparently, her magic couldn't penetrate the foil... but could still affect the foil itself as per usual. When it was pointed out to her that she could simply use her magic to levitate the cone off her horn, Twilight couldn't help but feel a little foolish.
1744611 I can't say I mind the "cliche" inhibitor ring. If that's a cliche, what would handcuffs or manacles be? "Really, Officer? Handcuffs again? They're so overused."
"I CAN BREAK THIS RING!"
"You don't break that ring!"
1744611 Well I suppose they could have just broke her horn off, but something tells me that wouldn't make for an interesting, nor tasteful story for this situation.
1744611 Nearly every fantasy story has that sort of thing. Even Super Hero comics have inhibitor collars.
When you give someone superpowers that don't require them to do anything other than will reality to bend, you have two options. Take the super power away, or keep them insensate.
Comatose main characters are boring. What do you suggest?
Need's a question mark.
T
1772720
I'm thinking more Han Solo.