When anon finds himself in the center of a kirin village, he's left to piece a lot of things together. How did he wind up in such a strange and colorful land inhabited by a adorable quadrupeds? Why can't anything speak yet understand his language? A talkative autumn themed kirin might be able to provide the answers anon needs in his unfortunate situation.

(Story takes place in first person)

Rated teen for language and potential violence.

A human has arrived in Ponyville that the Apples dubbed, "Anonymous."
Twilight is worried he might be dangerous. They know nothing about him after all. However, the Apples still treat him like a common pet, until he begins mimicking speech.

Alert: As of 16 August 2018 I've begun some drastic editing to knock this story down from Mature rating to Teen; there has been a lot of cleaning up to do in both content and formatting. I believe it's finished, but I might need someone to let me know if it's still too M for the T. Let me know if you think I missed something. Thanks for your patience!
~Adda

The post-graduate campus of Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns is a place of knowledge obscure and powerful, perhaps powerful enough for Alpha to live his dream for just one night... but how far would he be willing to go when his friend's safety and dignity are on the line?

[ This was my entry into the Mature bracket of the Transformations group's Body Swap Contest. How the Other Half Lives managed to place second! Congratulations to the winner, Twinkletail. ]

[ What's more, this story has been accepted into Twilight's Library, which I hear is quite a feat for a story with these tags. As if I wasn't proud of it before! ]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/m9vLrr7.png[/img]

[ Vanilla Breeze acted as prereader for this one; without her help this story would make even less sense than it does, haha. Than you so much, hon! I couldn't have done it without you. ]

[ Placeholder art is by Death-of-all. I'm still looking for something a little more suitable. ]

Most ponies assume that something is wrong with Ditzy Do's eyes. Theories range from a head injury to a genetic disorder to muscle damage behind her eye. The crueler folk suggest she's just retarded. Nicer ponies say it's just a party trick she never got tired of.

They're all wrong. They're all very, very wrong.

I discovered the truth one day in conversation with her. One eye would always look at me, and the other would wander. At least, I thought it was wandering. So while we were talking, I followed it. Goddess in heaven I wish I had not. Never follow the other eye. Ever. Because Ditzy Do's eyes work fine.

She's just watching something. That... thing that's always in the corner of our eyes. And if she looks at you with both eyes?

Goddess save you.

----

Preread by BrastaAAura17, Chase Cosmicwing and dreamingnoctis. Cover art also by dreamingnoctis. Guy's a bro.

Mort, also known as the Pale Pony (of Death), has been tasked to take time off from his rigorous duties of reaping souls. Seeking guidance, he is directed towards the town of Ponyville, to learn about the magic of friendship from Twilight Sparkle and her friends. All he needs to do is keep his true nature a secret. That shouldn't be too difficult...right?

Special thanks to Specter-Von-Baren and Pyrite Foolsgold for their help in proofreading and editing this story, as I really needed it. Additional thanks to Pilate, Chuckle5, Unimpressive Vagaries and Admiral Biscuit as well! Couldn't have done it without all their help!

Credit for the title card goes to Siansaar, AKA Carnifex.

For another excellent take on Mort, check out Sip's version!

King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

Click here for the TV Tropes page!

Anonymous, a twenty-two years old musician, is somehow transported to Equestria. He must learn to adapt to this new world. Communication with the ponies will be hard, he doesn't speak the same language as they do.

The story will be centered around Anonymous' interactions with the Mane 6 and a few of the background ponies, notably Lyra and BonBon.

Have you ever woken up as a vegetarian cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I can’t seem to do anything right, and it’s even worse when she’s in charge.

Now, we’re in a back and forth war for control of her body. I just want to eat meat again, and have a little personal space. She’s convinced I’m hitting on her friends and trying to score. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix this.

Edits by: Selbi, Abcron, Breath of Plagues, Refro, Jaestring, The Parasprite, Starbound Gurren
Pre-read by: SkeeterTL, Solidfire, Penjacker, TypewriterError, Pearple Prose
(It took all of them to corral my insanity.)
Cover art by Tsitra360
V1.1-Rated teen sex for strong innuendo.
V1.2-Pinkie Pie now enforcing RIAA guidelines.

In a world without bacon, five humans find themselves trapped... grazing on mother bucking dandelions. To get home, they'll need to learn that friendship is magic. Too bad none of these jerks are friends.