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Qwapdo

Joined August 2013
573 followers

I have no earthly clue what I'm doing.

Stories (1)

  • Hail to the King
    A human soul is stuffed into King Sombra's body. Having no idea what's going on, and thinking he is in some kind of coma, he just casually strolls into the Crystal Empire.

    54,571 words · 30,287 views · 3,719 likes · 53 dislikes

King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

First Published
7th Aug 2013
Last Modified
27th Dec 2013

Comments ( 1,441 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 11h ago · 58 · ·

This is gonna be good

#2 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 11h ago · 53 · ·

Have a like and favorite.:pinkiehappy:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 11h ago · 15 · ·

Well, this looks interesting.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 11h ago · 15 · ·

This is what I like to see in a story; the plot is smart, witty, and funny. Good job and I look forward to an update.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 10h ago · · ·

I look forward to the next chapter....

#6 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 10h ago · 10 · ·

And out from the box of plots you don't expect we have this :trixieshiftright: Fascinating!

#7 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 10h ago · · ·

Welp you just got a fave :3 also I have one question for you. Just one. :3 (I made a reference :3 ) ok when should updates be expected?

#8 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 10h ago · 2 · ·

Very enjoyable, thank you for writing, and I can't wait for more. :eeyup:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 9h ago · · ·

That was great! Oh this is gonna be a fun read...:twilightsmile:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 9h ago · · ·

Possessed Sombra is best pony. :pinkiecrazy:

#12 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7h ago · · ·

This is absolutely one of the funniest fics I've read in a while. Keep on the amazing work.:twilightsmile:

D48
#13 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7h ago · · ·

Oh my god, this was amazing.  Great work.

#14 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7h ago · · ·

>>3004461 I SECOND THIS MOTION!

#15 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7h ago · 19 · ·
#16 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 7h ago · · ·

I have never said this about any fic before, but have too: This is so fucking funny I can't favorite it because I would die laughing twice. I'll favorite it, but it's fucking suicide.

..... You know what, I'm ok with that :pinkiecrazy:

#17 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 6h ago · · ·

Ha this is FUCKING........GEEEENYUUUUUUSSS!!!:yay:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 6h ago · 13 · ·

This fic... :rainbowlaugh:

This fucking fic... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

It's too good for me to describe. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#19 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 6h ago · 1 · ·

I can't stop smiling at this :pinkiehappy:

Help me

#20 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 6h ago · 35 · ·

"It’s about time I showed you the might of Celestia’s royal guard. We are the best trained, most powerful, most experienced soldiers in Equestria. We are the elite of the elite and I am their captain.”

And yet you all fell within seconds to changelings who weren't even out to kill but to capture..... uh huh.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 6h ago · · ·

Ergh MER GERDDDD :pinkiegasp:

DIS SO GUD

#22 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · · ·

I giggled, I LOL'd, I chuckled, and then I laughed.

Yes, there shall be many requests for more. :raritywink:

#23 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · 35 · ·

All in all, with its incompetent officials, limited prospects, outdated or undeveloped infrastructure, dwindling populace, and northern location, the Crystal Empire was Equestria’s Detroit.

Please, bitch!

#24 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: 2 more chapters like this and i can draw some good cover art for this.

Comment posted by BackgroundNoise deleted at 9:56am on the 7th of August, 2013
#26 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · 27 · ·

“It’s not because I’m black, is it?”

Let's find out; see if you can get a taxi.

#27 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · 38 · ·

“Myeh,” I grunted, reluctantly dragging my head off the ground and yawning widely. My voice was way deeper than before. It didn’t’ feel like a sore throat, but I worried that I might have been coming down with something. I was a little hoarse, I guess. “Alright, alright, I’m up. What’da you want?”

Ba-dum, tish.

#28 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 5h ago · · ·

I want more please. :pinkiehappy:

#29 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 4h ago · 4 · 1 ·

It had to be done. :moustache:

#30 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 4h ago · 21 · ·

This is gonna be the best coma ever.

That line sold it. Just the idea of Sombra happily sitting on a flying chunk of rock is gold on its own. But everything else...

Take my fave. My thumbs-up. And you know what, I'll spread this around, let people know this story is worth the read. They need to know.

#31 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 4h ago · 10 · ·

Haha, good work, good work. I thought that the crystal heart would attack Shining since he was attacking an innocent person...pony..whatever. But it was good this way too :twilightsmile:

#32 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 4h ago · 8 · ·

Now New-Sombra will get the Prince, call him Shiny, and they will go on a wild racing competition in a New Beetle with alien motifs and a "We come in peace" horn in a quest for 100 points and groovy cheat boxes!*

... after this mess gets sorted out, of course.

*: figure out the shout out and you get a coconut :pinkiehappy:

#33 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 5 · ·

Sorry mate, it's my policy to post the song when I know a fic title is the same name as a song

#34 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · · ·

Oh, this is great! If this chapter proves anything, then that's that your skills as an author is simply fantastic.

I'm sitting on needles waiting for the next chapter - that cliffy was as hilarious as it was evil! :raritystarry:

#35 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · · ·

In this thread: Deathbats losing their shit because of the new A7X Song "Hail to the King"

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#36 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 25 · ·

“They’re… uh, all staring,” I mumbled under my breath. I suspiciously checked back and forth at myself and the light-colored, bright, shiny citizens, and looked for differences. The most obvious disparity was my coloration. “It’s not because I’m black, is it?”

That right there, was where I lost my shit.

#37 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 7 · ·

>>3004461 >>3004815 Now look closely at the wall at the back of that image.

#38 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 6 · ·

This is the greatest. You have my fave.

#39 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 16 · ·

Dayum!  Man, a black brutha can't even catch a break even in other dimensions yo! Dat's straight up equine fecal matter yo! :trixieshiftleft:

The 'Crystal Empire' was Equestria's Detroit . . . Oh snap! Yeah the author just went there! What you gunna do about it?!

Also, do you want to know what I would have done if I entered into the Crystal Empire? I would have announced loudly: "Behold your new master! I am Hug-Lord Snuggle Bunny the Fluffy: Lover of Shiny Things! All hug me and know warm fuzzy feelings! MWAHAHAHAAA!"  :pinkiecrazy:

I love this story so far! More please!

PS - Are we ever going to get his name though? It bugs me how a bunch of stories have a human who's name you never know. A LOT. I can never seem to figure out why so many authors DO that.   :rainbowhuh:

#40 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 8 · ·

'It's not because I'm black is it?'

Seriously, had me in stitches.

#41 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 3h ago · 7 · ·

I just... I don't even.

But please, by all means, continue with the Sombreros.

#42 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 2h ago · · ·

This fic does not yet have enough praise.

So here is mine.

Please, keep this up; it's one of the few truly new ideas I've seen for stories here on the site.

#43 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 2h ago · · ·

Hah! Great! Good luck with writing.

#44 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · · ·

We doth demand more of this epicness! Make it so! :pinkiehappy:

#45 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · 36 · ·

Wow....wow. That was one heck of a response to wake up to. Thanks for all the praise and motivation, everyone. I'll definitely pick up the pace on the next chapter if so many people are looking forward to it.

Also, in response to your responses to a pair of throwaway gags, the protagonist is now a black guy from Detroit.

Thanks again, internet-friends. This will be fun to write.

#46 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · 22 · ·

This is actually REALLY good. Grammar and format are all correct, which is an excellent base to build off of. I like the internal narrative; it adds character to our mysterious hoomin.

I also like how he thought himself a goat, then a HORSE instead of immediately jumping to "pony." So many amateur writers jump the gun and do the latter, it's embarrassing. This is VERY refreshing in that regard.

The writing and presentation itself is very encapsulating and just plain creative. It reminds me of James Patterson in the way that it makes clever and snarky use of vernacular prose, worked in with vivid imagery and sensory appeal. This is one of the best-written fics I've seen on this site in a long time, and it's only the first chapter.

The story itself is paced well and constructed in a way that makes it feel whole and satisfying, like a steak dinner with rice. Mmm, rice... er, anyway, It expands on the advertised concept, covering all bases, instead of making the same mistakes as many other stories (They have a tendency to deliver a flimsy, bony plot that feels cheap and is ultimately disappointing).

Here's some of my favorite lines:

“There you are…” he growled. That voice had no business coming from something that wasn’t a vengeful god.

Oh god, what could I do? He’s like a four-legged Terminator with even less empathy.

I believe "he's" should be "he was," but the story is so good that I don't really care about every last grammar detail.

This is gonna... Oh the heck with it, I'll just quote the story:

This is gonna be the best coma ever.

I was laughing from beginning to end, good sir. Please, do carry on. :twilightsmile:

#47 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · 22 · ·

Welcome to the land of the living, son. Have a train"

Well Im sold! Great job and keep up the laughs! :pinkiehappy:

#48 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · · ·

>>3005219 I had thought it wild be a crossover of that movie when I first read the title, though just had an idea, instead of going to the medieval times, the guy goes to equestria instead, though with almost the same storyline as the original movie

#49 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · · ·

>>3005669

You know what I don't get. :moustache:

How the fuck can Dead Space 3 be called as such whilst it not be being in space? :rainbowhuh:

Dead Space

Dead in Space

Fighting Dead in Space

Not Fighting Dead on some ice planet.

#50 · Chapter 1 · 51w, 1h ago · · ·

>>3005676 valid point you have there, and how can halo still be called that when they aren't on the halos anymore?

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