1. Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  2. offline for 12h, 28m

Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.

Stories & Comissions:

Current focus:

1. Dash of Humanity 3

Maybe updated?

2. Twilight's Dollhouse 2

3. Muffin a Day Keeps the Human Away

Commissions: Anything, $10/1,000 words.

Current queue:

1. open

2. open

3. open

My Favorites: Top 5

  • Five Score, Divided by Four As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right? by TwistedSpectrum 285,557 words · 29,340 views · 3,381 likes · 171 dislikes
  • Background Pony "My name's Lyra Heartstrings, but you won't remember anything. Listen to my symphony, for it by shortskirtsandexplosions 432,377 words · 76,310 views · 5,696 likes · 201 dislikes
  • Shattered Rainbow Dash's friends must explore what supporting each other truly means in the wake of a tragedy none of them could have predicted. by BronyNeumo 110,821 words · 11,454 views · 747 likes · 43 dislikes

My Favorites: 6-10

  • Hard Reset Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly. by Eakin 37,399 words · 60,543 views · 6,240 likes · 99 dislikes
  • Project: Sunflower As the Earth is under threat, humanity reaches out for one last hope of salvation. by Hoopy McGee 242,202 words · 29,156 views · 4,020 likes · 66 dislikes
  • Solitary Locust Twilight casts a spell that leaves her in an alien body, facing a mob of angry ponies... by Ambysprite 120,123 words · 31,691 views · 2,788 likes · 110 dislikes
  • Asylum When Twilight Sparkle went to bed, she had friends she loved and a life she enjoyed. But she awoke to hospital gowns and padded restraints. And the doctors, they keep telling her that she is sick and none of it was real. They’re lying, right? by Daemon of Decay 191,704 words · 52,074 views · 4,397 likes · 95 dislikes

My Favorites: 11-15

  • Fun With Changelings I'm sick of Wubsy getting no place in the fannon. So here's how she became Vinyl Scratch's pet. by Shukumei 45,645 words · 29,222 views · 3,190 likes · 86 dislikes
  • The Secret Life of Rarity Rarity has a deep dark secret that she cannot control but must hide from the world. by BronyWriter 150,242 words · 16,925 views · 1,346 likes · 77 dislikes
  • Transcendence Scootaloo learns the wonders of flight. by Corejo 66,282 words · 11,566 views · 723 likes · 41 dislikes
  • The Rain-Bow Incident Rainbow Dash wakes up with a shaved head. by gmen15 4,167 words · 7,024 views · 620 likes · 13 dislikes

Photo Album

Bio

Stories and art also available at DeviantArt

*Banner courtesy of Sollace

*drawn by Drawponies

*Support your favorite author or support me instead.


I speak my mind, and I'm a misanthrope.  Twilight's Dollhouse is my favorite story, while Dash of Humanity is the most popular.

Fan art/pmv's/readings of my fiction. Also, my own pmv's

About Me / Bio.

List of Favorite Stories, Author's, and Editors.

Stories I've Helped Edit on Fim Fiction

List of favorite Music, and PMV's.

Best/Worst Pony type questions

My Best Stories:

  • A Puppet To Her Fame My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. by Kaidan 29,713 words · 13,139 views · 1,370 likes · 49 dislikes
  • Twilight's Dollhouse This funeral was just Twilight’s first. She realizes every pony she loves will die. Now that she is an Alicorn, she will have to relive this crippling heartache hundreds of times. . . Unless she can find a way to keep her best friends forever. by Kaidan 94,691 words · 12,454 views · 774 likes · 49 dislikes
  • Dash of Humanity Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it by Kaidan 95,297 words · 25,405 views · 3,284 likes · 128 dislikes

My Latest Stories

  • T Eaten Alive

    Twilight Sparkle Esquire takes a team of ponies deep into the floating Everfree in search of the fabled forty-two foot emerald anaconda. She is going to be the first pony to prove that a snake can swallow a pony whole for science!  · Kaidan
    4,904 words · 2,070 views  ·  85  ·  53 · gore
  • T Dash of Humanity 3: Consequences

    There are consequences to every action, but we can't always predict what they will be. I stay up at night wondering what I could have done differently, but I've already paid the price for my actions.  · Kaidan
    25,104 words · 6,909 views  ·  1,086  ·  96 · sex
  • T Balloon Tales

    Ponies like balloons for different reasons. Perhaps they keep them afloat while playing in the pool, or liven up a party. Perhaps they have other uses, discussed behind closed doors. For some ponies, a balloon becomes a prison.  · Kaidan
    3,176 words · 2,301 views  ·  102  ·  10 · sex
  • T Scootaloo's Perfect Gift

    The Crusaders are looking for the perfect gift for Scootaloo. Twilight is testing out a new spell on Rainbow Dash. When Twilight is distracted for a minute, the crusaders whisk Dash away leaving nopony the wiser.  · Kaidan
    2,822 words · 3,937 views  ·  127  ·  22
  • T Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn

    I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.  · Kaidan
    73,323 words · 16,512 views  ·  2,673  ·  116 · sex

Kaidan's One-Stop Clop Shop

My Wackiest Stories. Hilarity ensues.

  • Kaidan's Short Stories: Vol. 1 - Teen A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, to mature sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here. by Kaidan 55,054 words · 3,640 views · 148 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Scootaloo the Fugitive Scootaloo grew up at an orphanage ran by Gerda. The old hag clipped Scootaloo's wings last time she tried to escape. Years later, she finally escapes and ends up in Ponyville. Will she stop running from her past long enough to enjoy her new life by Kaidan 85,720 words · 4,774 views · 405 likes · 19 dislikes
  • The Secret Story of Big Mac When Dash discovers her feelings for Big Mac, she realizes that no pony knows why he is so quiet. She sets out to learn where he is from and why he doesn't talk. Will the answers give her the courage to ask him to Hearts and Hooves day? by Kaidan 45,422 words · 4,563 views · 246 likes · 18 dislikes

People I hate slightly less than the rest of humanity.

2,735 members follow Kaidan

Kaidan follows 67 members

  • Viewing 426 - 430 of 430
#430 · 6w, 2d ago · · ·

Misanthrope? I'm curious: how is that possible? Humans are too diverse of a species to say one way or another in my opinion.

#429 · 7w, 14h ago · · ·

>>2152183 when is the next chapter of the third installmeant of dash of humanity?

#428 · 10w, 6d ago · · ·

>>2143711

Eat the fattest ones first. They have the most flavor, and they consume the most food, so it's really two birds with one fork.

#427 · 12w, 5d ago · · ·

Day 34 March 1, 2016

Still no sign of Kaidan, Were getting hungry out here and were soon going to have to resort to cannibalism.

It's a shame really, were losing good men here.

This may be the last bit of evidence that we are still here.

Were counting on you, Kaidan, to save us.

May Celestia be with us.

-TheOneWhoTrots

#426 · 17w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

we love you, kaidan-senpai :heart::rainbowkiss:

  • Viewing 426 - 430 of 430
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