$10/1,000 words. Includes applicable taxes, gratiuities, and black mail payments. 50% when writing starts/50% after.

Current queue:

1. Sunset Flash - Outlining

2. Greenpony32 - in progress

3. Yamgoth - Outlined

*queue full

My Favorites: Top 5

  • Five Score, Divided by Four As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right? by TwistedSpectrum 285,557 words · 20,812 views · 2,843 likes · 146 dislikes
  • The Immortal Game Princess Luna leads the Elements of Harmony against the corrupted Twilight Sparkle by AestheticB 297,261 words · 43,481 views · 2,590 likes · 54 dislikes
  • Background Pony "My name's Lyra Heartstrings, but you won't remember anything. Listen to my symphony, for it by shortskirtsandexplosions 432,377 words · 62,039 views · 4,960 likes · 165 dislikes
  • Shattered Rainbow Dash's friends must explore what supporting each other truly means in the wake of a tragedy none of them could have predicted. by BronyNeumo 110,821 words · 8,082 views · 675 likes · 41 dislikes

My Favorites: 6-10

  • Hard Reset Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly. by Eakin 37,399 words · 41,566 views · 4,783 likes · 70 dislikes
  • Project: Sunflower As the Earth is under threat, humanity reaches out for one last hope of salvation. by Hoopy McGee 242,215 words · 19,972 views · 2,941 likes · 48 dislikes
  • Solitary Locust Twilight casts a spell that leaves her in an alien body, facing a mob of angry ponies... by the parasprite 110,038 words · 27,776 views · 2,489 likes · 86 dislikes
  • Asylum When Twilight Sparkle went to bed, she had friends she loved and a life she enjoyed. But she awoke to hospital gowns and padded restraints. And the doctors, they keep telling her that she is sick and none of it was real. They’re lying, right? by Daemon of Decay 175,989 words · 39,682 views · 3,626 likes · 71 dislikes

My Favorites: 11-15

  • Fun With Changelings I'm sick of Wubsy getting no place in the fannon. So here's how she became Vinyl Scratch's pet. by Shukumei 45,645 words · 26,003 views · 3,013 likes · 81 dislikes
  • The Secret Life of Rarity Rarity has a deep dark secret that she cannot control but must hide from the world. by BronyWriter 150,242 words · 11,249 views · 1,056 likes · 57 dislikes
  • Transcendence Scootaloo learns the wonders of flight. by Corejo 65,148 words · 10,355 views · 690 likes · 37 dislikes
  • The Rain-Bow Incident Rainbow Dash wakes up with a shaved head. by gmen15 4,167 words · 6,155 views · 582 likes · 13 dislikes

Photo Album


Stories and art also available at DeviantArt

*Banner courtesy of Sollace

*drawn by Drawponies

I speak my mind, and I'm a misanthrope.  Twilight's Dollhouse is my favorite story, while Dash of Humanity is the most popular.

Fan art/pmv's/readings of my fiction. Also, my own pmv's

About Me / Bio.

List of Favorite Stories, Author's, and Editors.

Stories I've Helped Edit on Fim Fiction

List of favorite Music, and PMV's.

Best/Worst Pony type questions

My Best Stories:

  • A Puppet To Her Fame My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. by Kaidan 29,713 words · 9,059 views · 1,090 likes · 41 dislikes
  • Twilight's Dollhouse This funeral was just Twilight’s first. She realizes every pony she loves will die. Now that she is an Alicorn, she will have to relive this crippling heartache hundreds of times. . . Unless she can find a way to keep her best friends forever. by Kaidan 94,691 words · 6,655 views · 600 likes · 42 dislikes
  • Dash of Humanity Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it by Kaidan 95,297 words · 17,687 views · 2,601 likes · 97 dislikes

My Latest Stories

  • T Balloon Tales

    Ponies like balloons for different reasons. Perhaps they keep them afloat while playing in the pool, or liven up a party. Perhaps they have other uses, discussed behind closed doors. For some ponies, a balloon becomes a prison.  · Kaidan
    3,176 words · 1,294 views  ·  85  ·  9 · sex
  • T Scootaloo's Perfect Gift

    The Crusaders are looking for the perfect gift for Scootaloo. Twilight is testing out a new spell on Rainbow Dash. When Twilight is distracted for a minute, the crusaders whisk Dash away leaving nopony the wiser.  · Kaidan
    2,822 words · 2,042 views  ·  93  ·  21
  • T Dash of Humanity 2: A New Dawn

    I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.  · Kaidan
    65,445 words · 10,786 views  ·  2,051  ·  81 · sex
  • T Dash of Humanity

    Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it  · Kaidan
    95,297 words · 17,687 views  ·  2,601  ·  97 · sex
  • T Twilight's Dollhouse II: Lyra's Quest

    Thirty ponies remained trapped in plastic shells as Twilight’s dolls. Lyra left them behind without a second thought. She joins Scootaloo to help rescue them, lest they be trapped for eternity as the last of Twilight’s sanity slips away.  · Kaidan
    28,251 words · 2,457 views  ·  341  ·  11

Kaidan's One-Stop Clop Shop

My Wackiest Stories. Hilarity ensues.

  • Kaidan's One-Shot Compendium: Teen A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, to mature sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here. by Kaidan 55,054 words · 2,751 views · 133 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Scootaloo the Fugitive Scootaloo grew up at an orphanage ran by Gerda. The old hag clipped Scootaloo's wings last time she tried to escape. Years later, she finally escapes and ends up in Ponyville. Will she stop running from her past long enough to enjoy her new life by Kaidan 85,720 words · 3,439 views · 347 likes · 15 dislikes
  • The Secret Story of Big Mac When Dash discovers her feelings for Big Mac, she realizes that no pony knows why he is so quiet. She sets out to learn where he is from and why he doesn't talk. Will the answers give her the courage to ask him to Hearts and Hooves day? by Kaidan 45,422 words · 3,457 views · 215 likes · 15 dislikes

People I hate slightly less than the rest of humanity.

2,085 members follow Kaidan

Kaidan follows 66 members


#1414642 · 4w, 6d ago · 1 · 3 ·

If you're a misanthrope because you think that the evil things that humanity do are because of ALL of humanity then that isn't true, the evil things that humans do are caused by hierarchy, by those in power, the wealthy and the capitalist class. If humanity were to abolish all forms of hierarchy and dismantle unjust structures of authority such as the state and capitalism then there would be no more wars and no more violence. I know I sound naïve but look up libertarian socialism/anarchism and anarchist Catalonia. Ignore 'anarchist' capitalists though, they only exist on the internet ant have been around since the sixties, whereas proper anarchism has been around for 200 years. Even Oscar Wilde was an anarchist, look it up on the 'queer anarchism' Wikipedia article, as well as all the other anarchist stuff, preferably on Wikipedia and youtube but there are plenty of anarchist websites too.

#1411222 · 5w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Congrats on the 2000 mark. :rainbowwild:

#1389921 · 6w, 4d ago · · ·

"Especially the one about me and that sexy mar--stallion Dawn"

And thus the theories for the story bear more evidence...

#1374615 · 7w, 5d ago · · ·

Are you ever going to continue ponymon? I really liked that story:pinkiehappy:

#1368382 · 8w, 1d ago · · ·

... Bro. Seriously. Bro. You are fucked in the head.:applejackconfused:

But for some reason I keep reading your writing.:twilightblush:

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