Joined January 2013
214,662 story views
8m, 10s ago

Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


$10/1,000 words. Includes applicable taxes, gratiuities, and black mail payments. 50% when writing starts/50% after.

Current queue:

1. Sunset Flash - Outlining

2. Greenpony32 - in progress

3. Yamgoth - Outlined

*queue full

My Favorites: Top 5

  • Five Score, Divided by Four As a fan of the show, I always loved Rainbow Dash and her cutie mark, but I never wanted it to appear on my leg! Now that it has, all sorts of things are getting weird around here. I'm a guy, not a mare! Cartoon ponies aren't real... right? by TwistedSpectrum 285,552 words · 19,178 views · 2,724 likes · 140 dislikes
  • The Immortal Game Princess Luna leads the Elements of Harmony against the corrupted Twilight Sparkle by AestheticB 297,261 words · 30,466 views · 2,482 likes · 50 dislikes
  • Background Pony "My name's Lyra Heartstrings, but you won't remember anything. Listen to my symphony, for it by shortskirtsandexplosions 432,377 words · 59,029 views · 4,816 likes · 160 dislikes
  • Shattered Rainbow Dash's friends must explore what supporting each other truly means in the wake of a tragedy none of them could have predicted. by BronyNeumo 103,236 words · 6,514 views · 651 likes · 34 dislikes

My Favorites: 6-10

  • Hard Reset Twilight gives her life to stop a changeling invasion. Repeatedly. by Eakin 37,399 words · 37,287 views · 4,417 likes · 63 dislikes
  • Project: Sunflower As the Earth is under threat, humanity reaches out for one last hope of salvation. by Hoopy McGee 242,215 words · 18,584 views · 2,772 likes · 43 dislikes
  • Solitary Locust Twilight casts a spell that leaves her in an alien body, facing a mob of angry ponies... by the parasprite 99,965 words · 26,407 views · 2,301 likes · 85 dislikes
  • Asylum When Twilight Sparkle went to bed, she had friends she loved and a life she enjoyed. But she awoke to hospital gowns and padded restraints. And the doctors, they keep telling her that she is sick and none of it was real. They’re lying, right? by Daemon of Decay 172,150 words · 36,429 views · 3,411 likes · 66 dislikes

My Favorites: 11-15

  • Fun With Changelings I'm sick of Wubsy getting no place in the fannon. So here's how she became Vinyl Scratch's pet. by Shukumei 45,645 words · 25,289 views · 2,972 likes · 81 dislikes
  • The Secret Life of Rarity Rarity has a deep dark secret that she cannot control but must hide from the world. by BronyWriter 150,242 words · 10,275 views · 987 likes · 56 dislikes
  • Transcendence Scootaloo learns the wonders of flight. by Corejo 65,148 words · 10,138 views · 681 likes · 37 dislikes
  • The Rain-Bow Incident Rainbow Dash wakes up with a shaved head. by gmen15 4,167 words · 5,998 views · 576 likes · 13 dislikes

Photo Album



Stories and art also available at DeviantArt

*Banner courtesy of Sollace

*drawn by Drawponies

I speak my mind, and I'm a misanthrope.  Twilight's Dollhouse is my favorite story, while Dash of Humanity is the most popular.

Fan art/pmv's/readings of my fiction. Also, my own pmv's

About Me / Bio.

List of Favorite Stories, Author's, and Editors.

Stories I've Helped Edit on Fim Fiction

List of favorite Music, and PMV's.

Best/Worst Pony type questions

My Best Stories:

  • A Puppet To Her Fame My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. by Kaidan 29,713 words · 8,370 views · 1,028 likes · 40 dislikes
  • Twilight's Dollhouse This funeral was just Twilight’s first. She realizes every pony she loves will die. Now that she is an Alicorn, she will have to relive this crippling heartache hundreds of times. . . Unless she can find a way to keep her best friends forever. by Kaidan 94,691 words · 5,995 views · 560 likes · 35 dislikes
  • Dash of Humanity Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it by Kaidan 95,297 words · 16,665 views · 2,490 likes · 96 dislikes

My Latest Stories

  • Balloon TalesPonies like balloons for different reasons. Perhaps they keep them afloat while playing in the pool, or liven up a party. Perhaps they have other uses, discussed behind closed doors. For some ponies, a balloon becomes a prison.3,176 words ·1,095 views ·77 likes ·10 dislikes
  • Scootaloo's Perfect GiftThe Crusaders are looking for the perfect gift for Scootaloo. Twilight is testing out a new spell on Rainbow Dash. When Twilight is distracted for a minute, the crusaders whisk Dash away leaving nopony the wiser.2,822 words ·1,753 views ·90 likes ·21 dislikes
  • Dash of Humanity 2: A New DawnI'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.60,636 words ·9,884 views ·1,921 likes ·75 dislikes
  • Dash of HumanityHave you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it95,297 words ·16,665 views ·2,490 likes ·96 dislikes
  • Twilight's Dollhouse II: Lyra's QuestThirty ponies remained trapped in plastic shells as Twilight’s dolls. Lyra left them behind without a second thought. She joins Scootaloo to help rescue them, lest they be trapped for eternity as the last of Twilight’s sanity slips away. 28,251 words ·2,183 views ·320 likes ·10 dislikes

Kaidan's One-Stop Clop Shop

My Wackiest Stories. Hilarity ensues.

  • Kaidan's One-Shot Compendium: Teen A collection of all my one-shot stories. From the comedies for everyone, to mature sci-fi crossovers, and featuring a dozen story prompts from friends. You'll find a great collection of my short stories from 2013 onward here. by Kaidan 55,054 words · 2,608 views · 130 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Scootaloo the Fugitive Scootaloo grew up at an orphanage ran by Gerda. The old hag clipped Scootaloo's wings last time she tried to escape. Years later, she finally escapes and ends up in Ponyville. Will she stop running from her past long enough to enjoy her new life by Kaidan 85,720 words · 3,080 views · 325 likes · 14 dislikes
  • The Secret Story of Big Mac When Dash discovers her feelings for Big Mac, she realizes that no pony knows why he is so quiet. She sets out to learn where he is from and why he doesn't talk. Will the answers give her the courage to ask him to Hearts and Hooves day? by Kaidan 45,422 words · 3,247 views · 209 likes · 15 dislikes

People I hate slightly less than the rest of humanity.

1,971 members follow Kaidan

Kaidan follows 66 members


#1298221 · 2d, 11h ago · · ·

Heya Kaidan!

I love your work (mature or not)!

Anyway, I have a mature fact that you may find amusing or inspiring!

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(Reduce, lighten, and made pretty much unreadable for the sensitive reader)

Anyway, keep on doing what you are doing. You have my kudos! :pinkiehappy:

#1296493 · 2d, 23h ago · · ·

Now just what did I do to deserve such an awesome author's follow?

#1295153 · 3d, 14h ago · · ·

Hi, nice to meet someone new!!

#1287140 · 6d, 12h ago · · ·

Glad to see you back, I was going to miss your works.

Thank you.

#1283195 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Could you please give me a guesstimate on when you will update A Muffin a Day Keeps the Human Away? :unsuresweetie:

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