Paul's Thursday Reviews CXLXVIII · 9:05pm Apr 25th, 2019
It took me four months, but I finally got out of my slump and produced something new! I also added a story to my horror compendium, Sweet to Eat: Tales of Nightmare Night, for the first time since it was published in 2014. Nothing like a contest to get the blood pumping again, amiright? I’ll be adding another story to it in the next few weeks; it was going to be the contest entry until I realized it didn’t fit the criteria quite right, so I set it aside for later. In the meantime, work on No Heroes: Life of Pie continues and that story should be finished soon. I’m looking forward to finally getting it off my pile. I’ll probably focus my attention on Bulletproof Heart: Famous Last Words for a while after that.
In other news, I was recently reminded (again) that people don’t really get what goes into my scheduling process and how I choose stories for my next blog. This is all the more enigmatic since I adjusted my methods in the last few months in an attempt to better control what I read and to support my bid to significantly reduce the number of stories in my RiL. With this in mind, I’m seriously considering writing a ‘tutorial blog’ that follows along as I go through a typical Saturday of scheduling, then linking to that blog on my user page so that I can point people to it whenever they inevitably ask questions I’ve already answered 50 times (because they do). I don’t anticipate hardly anyone going to it on their own, or reading through the whole thing because it’ll be extensive, but I figure it’ll be nice to have.
Alright, onwards to what you’re all here to read: reviews!
Stories for This Week:
Apples Forever by BlueColton
I Drain Fillyfoolery?! by Lise Eclaire
Dear Rarity by RarityEQM
Sibling Snuggles by The Abyss
Make a Plan, Take a Chance by Mooncalf
Conversations with Dead Ponies by Scramblers and Shadows
The Secrets We Keep by BlazzingInferno
Holding on to Nothing by Dianwei32
A Sleeping Rose by Admiral Biscuit
Patience by cursedchords
Total Word Count: 78,910
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 7
Worth It: 2
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
Apples Forever
10,389 Words
By BlueColton
A terrible war with Saddle Arabia devastates the pegasus population of Equestria and the youth of the country’s farmland. The result is a severe, lengthy drought that is causing catastrophic food shortages for the entire nation. Sweet Apple Acres is no exception, and after Applejack suffers a career-ending accident, it has become apparent to all involved that the farm is on its last legs. So when Filthy Rich comes by to announce that Barnyard Bargains is cutting the Apple clan off… Well.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Told from the perspective of Apple Bloom, this is a horror about the lengths ponies are willing to go to save that which they love. It’s also a story about earth pony magic, albeit in a more perverse, ugly form. There will be questions, and Apple Bloom will dutifully voice them, but you’ll receive no answers. I don’t mind this; it’s one of those stories where the questions aren’t as important as the results. And the results are… tasty, apparently.
In the end, there’s really only one question of real importance: where’s Pinkie Pie? We know where Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow are, and we can guess easily enough Twilight’s whereabouts. Heck, we’re even told the whereabouts of Scootaloo and Sweetie. But Pinkie? Mysteriously absent. One has to wonder. I hope the sequel, which I have every intention of reading, sheds some light on that.
In this end, this was an atmospheric and creepy story. I don’t think it warrants its current Mature rating—this stuff is Teen at best—but it definitely wins as a low-key horror. I emphasize “low-key”, because while ponies do die, the terror is more in Apple Bloom’s state of mind. I’m curious to see if the sequel takes the horror down a more direct path, assuming it ever gets un-canceled (not getting my hopes up).
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
P.S.: And now the song is stuck in my head. Thanks for that.
P.P.S.: Now I want to see a music video featuring Apples to the Core, staring the Apple Family, done up in the same style as MisterDavey’s Smile HD. Come on, somebody’s surely gotta be interested in doing this.
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
I Drain Fillyfoolery?!
12,122 Words
By Lise Eclaire
Twilight decides to bring Sci-Twi’s magic-draining device to Equestria for study. This leads to some unintended results. Most prominently, Twilight is now ‘infected’ with an automated curse in which she literally drains the fillyfoolery from any fillyfooling mares who come within range of her. To make matters worse, not only do those mares become totally straight, but Twilight gains all their fillyfooling desires – combined. But surely our logical, composed, self-controlled Princess of Friendship can resist the siren’s call of hot mare bodies… right?
I am immensely entertained. Lise Eclaire manages to both play this concept straight and amusing at the same time, somehow keeping it perfectly legit as a serious situation while never forgetting that this is, at its core, a comedy. Twilight’s constant struggle to not give in to her overwhelming desires is ceaselessly amusing, especially considering her lack of awareness regarding such matters (as Rarity so easily figures out). Lise gets bonus points for avoiding the traditional trap of “all the Mane 6 are fillyfoolers by default” (although it is alluded to under fun circumstances).
There are catches, of course. Shippers will no doubt be extremely entertained by this, as I was. But I feel the story would only be enjoyable to a niche audience, i.e. those who take amusement from sexual and romantic humor… even if the sexual humor here is pretty light in nature. Nothing bad enough to warrant a mature rating, that’s for sure. I’d argue it barely qualifies for Teen, and then only because of the topic of sex existing in the story in the first place. Regardless, if sexual/romantic humor isn’t your thing, this may not do much for you.
Still, I enjoyed it, and what more could I ask for?
Then again, there is one small niggle: a certain somepony may end up hurt very badly at the end of all this. The fact her feelings were turned into a joke and then left behind to never be properly addressed is unfortunate. It would at least have been nice to know if she and Twilight ever discussed the matter afterwards.
Eh, it’s a little niggle. Overall, a fun story for those looking to be amused by one of Princess Twilight’s less… er… “tame” magical blunders.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Love Life of a Secret Murderer — Pretty Good
Dear Princess Twilight, my name is Spider Web, and I am a changeling... — Worth It
Dear Rarity
1,325 Words
By RarityEQM
Yeesh, that image just came out terrible. Considering getting a bigger one, RarityEQM.
Anyone who has struggled with a crush may appreciate this one. It’s a faithful recording of Spike’s many aborted attempts to write a letter to Rarity explaining how he feels about her. It’s not a Sparity story, it’s a story about wanting something and knowing it is forever out of reach. It’s hard not to feel for the little guy. It’s one thing to be in love, it’s another entirely to know that no matter what you do, that love will never be returned.
It suffers from some formatting issues (it shifts between italics and normal text at random moments), but otherwise this is a nice bit of sadfic. I like the premise, I understand the struggle, and I appreciate the pain. That being said, it may not be the most memorable or creative of stories, and it’s hard to say if the typos and mistakes are intentional due to Spike’s emotional state or problems on the author’s part.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Sibling Snuggles
1,696 Words
By The Abyss
Uh-huh. Let’s see, we’ve got blatant clickbait written by an author whose pen name is 5th-Grader levels of ominous.
Actually, this story is a huge improvement over the last one I read by this author. The story starts with Marble Pie having a nightmare. When her mother proves disinterested in comforting her youngest child, it’s up to Pinkie to do the job. In other words, it’s very similar to its predecessor, Sisterly Snuggles, except with Marble instead of Woona.
And as I said, it’s a huge improvement. There’s a sense of atmosphere with Marble’s dream. Attention is paid to her as a character, albeit in a limited capacity, and the brief interaction between her and Pinkie is pleasant and believable. Just about the only catch is that, once again, an author failed to note that Pinkie and Marble are twins. That’s a minor niggle compared to the decent work the author put into this one and the sheer improvement on display from the last story.
Not an amazing entry, but a wonderful showcase of how far a writer can improve with effort and practice. And in such a remarkably short time, too! Now I’m interesting in seeing this author’s more recent works.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Sisterly Snuggles — Needs Work
Make a Plan, Take a Chance
5,279 Words
By Mooncalf
Alternative Title: Princess Celestia is a Gambler
Celestia’s rare break opportunity is interrupted when Princess Twilight teleports directly in front of her and wants to know if her entire life has been one big manipulated scheme. Celestia’s response? No. But also yes, in a roundabout way.
I’m not sure if this is Mooncalf projecting their headcanon or just an idea they decided to run with, but either way it is a remarkably strong theory. A shame the Season 7 opener runs a spear right through it. Stupid canon, ruining all the best ideas. Anyway, the premise here is that Celestia is not a grand chessmaster manipulating things in the most minute ways to guarantee a specific event. Instead, she formulates loose plans, tries to hedge her bets, and hopes for the best.
I like the approach here. Mooncalf’s depiction of Celestia is realistic and wholly believable. Yes, she’s a little manipulative, but almost always within reason. No, she didn’t know Twilight was going to be the Element of Magic, but she did permit the founding of Ponyville in hopes it would be a natural breeding ground for Element Bearers. Yes, she did make sure to keep well away from Nightmare Moon when she came back, but only because she feared things would go horribly wrong otherwise. Her reasons make sense, and this may be the best example of it that I’ve seen.
This is an interesting take on Celestia as a leader and her relationship with Twilight. By all means, give it a read and form your own opinions.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Solution To Shipping — Pretty Good
The Best Job In Equestria — Pretty Good
To Romance A Magician — Pretty Good
Conversations with Dead Ponies
12,128 Words
By Scramblers and Shadows
It happens on occasion. Nopony knows why. Except maybe the princesses, but they aren’t telling. For one night, every pony in Equestria is visited by a dead individual, who will be gone by dawn. This story tells us of who each of the Mane 6 met that night.
This is a peculiar one. Some of the ponies meet obvious characters—you probably know who Twilight meets without having to think about it (assuming you’re paying attention to publication dates), and your odds of getting Applejack right is 50/50. Others are not so expected, particularly Fluttershy and Rarity. Each of them come with a slightly different atmosphere, sometimes sober and serious, other times a little whimsical.
All in all, this felt like one big experiment, and not a bad one at that. Each chapter gives us something a little different. Fluttershy’s is perhaps the most ambitious despite being the shortest (and pulled off quite well, might I add), whereas Rainbow’s frustrated me with its determined effort to dodge the truth and reveal nothing (although I fully acknowledge the value of the method). Pinkie’s felt like wasted potential, but Applejack’s didn’t go quite like I expected, and that’s a good thing. I think I liked Applejack’s the most, with Twilight’s a close second.
I ended up enjoying myself. It’s a worthwhile read with some interesting elements. A lot of questions remain unanswered, but what really has my attention is what everyone else saw. What about the princesses, or some of the background ponies? It’s clear that this event isn’t limited to just ponies, so perhaps Discord?
A nice little experiment with some mostly good results. I can see no reason not to recommend it.
Also: don’t think I don’t recognize the significance of the order. Unless it’s just a coincidence, that is.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Cold Light — Pretty Good
The Secrets We Keep
16,456 Words
By BlazzingInferno
When Dragon Lord Ember decides to perform an extended tour of her kingdom to meet her new subjects, she asks Spike to ‘throne sit’ for her as Steward in the interim. He agrees, but doesn’t want to spend a week or so sitting alone in a massive, empty throne room all by himself. Of all his friends he asks to join him, only one has the time: Rarity. One day while in the throne room, Spike finally decides it’s time to talk to her about their relationship and where it’s going. They couldn’t have picked a more awkward point for it.
This marks the third Spike story I’ve read by this author and the second Sparity. I’m starting to wonder if BI has any other favored ships.
BlazzingInferno’s strength tends to be taking old ideas and making something different with them. The story is told from Spike’s perspective, and this time he’s a mature individual who is only small due to the lack of a hoard, not his age. Just as important is Rarity’s personal conflict where she fears her life can be centered around her career or her romantic life, but not both. The two share their secrets and become more open with one another, which sets the stage for all their future interactions. Along the way we learn about Ember’s regrets and struggles a month into being the Dragon Lord.
It’s a story about insecurities, trust, and taking risks. It’s also a story about Yak/Dragon international relations, which served the story wonderfully. Ember’s, Rarity’s, and Spike’s struggling efforts to entertain (and not be at war with) Prince Rutherford keep the story interesting and fun, not allowing the underlying romantic drama to bog anything down. The result is a fun but real story that anyone short of Sparity deniers will likely enjoy.
This might be my favorite story by this author yet, although I acknowledge that may be due to the shipper in me. Regardless, BlazzingInferno once again pulls a rabbit out of his hat and makes something fresh out of something old. I’m always looking forward to the next one.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
‘Til Sunday Do Us Part — Pretty Good
A Dragon's Age — Pretty Good
Cleave — Pretty Good
Water Pony — Pretty Good
Ascension — Worth It
Holding on to Nothing
9,211 Words
By Dianwei32
Fluttershy and Rainbow have been dating for a few weeks now. It’s… not going well. Fluttershy knows that Rainbow has fallen for Applejack and just can’t tell her. Things are building to a head, and neither of them have any idea what to do about it.
This one has an unorthodox narrative style. It’s in first person, with Fluttershy as the “I”, but it’s told like she’s talking to “you”, with “you” being Rainbow Dash. Is there a technical term for this style? I was iffy about it at first, but it gradually grew on me as the story unfolded. If anything, I’m impressed Dianwei32 managed to pull it off so well.
The story is in two parts. First, the confrontation and breakup between RD and Fluttershy, which might be considered the primary element. It’s very well done, wholly believable and realistic considering what we know about the two characters and the date of publication. One can’t help but feel sorry for all involved, and poor Applejack for getting caught in the middle. The final scene on the hill is truly heart wrenching, more so if you’ve been there before.
The second part feels like an entirely different story, although Dianwei32 does provide a hint or two in the first half for those paying attention. It involves Princess Luna’s arrival on the scene. I’m not sure if her timing is terrible or perfect, but it too felt appropriate considering what we know of her at the time. FlutterLuna isn’t a common ship, but it came out as sweet this time, and while I fear the whole thing is just a temporary rebound, I would love to see where it goes.
An interesting fic. Decently paced, atmospheric, and emotional, with great characterizations for all involved and clean prose. I dare say I enjoyed it immensely.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Unexpected Confessions — Pretty Good
A Sleeping Rose
5,974 Words
By Admiral Biscuit
Sam (which is presumably short for Samantha) is the lone human in Equestria, as these things tend to go. She doesn’t know how or why she’s here, but she’s trying to make the best of it. One day she’s helping Roseluck with her garden. Before long they’re enjoying a meal together, and the next… Sam wakes up in bed spooning a colorful horse. It’s not what you’re thinking.
This was a curious, unexpected story. I picked it out because there aren’t too many Roseluck stories out there, and the tags left me unsure as to where it might go. It ends up being about Sam’s discomfort, her sense of unbelonging in Equestria and how she’s gradually coming to terms with her new life. Predominant in all of this is Sam’s unwillingness to go nude like all the ponies do, which leads Roseluck to think it is related to embarrassment over not having a cutie mark.
It’s a little awkward at times, but in a good way. The story is atmospheric, slow-paced, but manages to remain interesting from beginning to end thanks to its contemplative and exploratory nature. To be honest, it took me a while to figure out that Sam was even female (although the ‘perfume’ line in the description should have been clue enough). This doesn’t detract from the story at all. If anything, Admiral Biscuit’s clear avoidance of specifying Sam’s gender suggests that it doesn’t really matter in the long run (especially when you’re the only one of your species anyway). I found it rather refreshing.
This is a quiet story full of very subtle slice-of-life drama. It’s an unusual approach to a common topic, making it an HiE I can get behind. I’ll be looking forward to the sequel.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Pinkie Pie's Last Nightmare Night — Worth It
Patience
4,330 Words
cursedchords failed to provide cover art.
It’s been a few weeks since the Fall Formal. Sunset Shimmer can feel the Elements in her head, constantly insisting she be a good girl. She’s obeyed, forcing herself to accept a new life and be a different person. With every day of good behavior, the claw in her mind fades a little more. One day, a pair of grunts from the NSA show up to question Sunset about the ‘incident’. They have no idea the beast they are prodding.
This did and didn’t go at all like I expected. I’ve long pondered why it is that the events of the first Equestria Girls movie, much less those that came after, never brought with them the attention of government agencies both foreign and domestic. This is the first story I’ve seen to address that gaping hole. That’s where the story surprised me.
Where it didn’t surprise me is the ultimate conclusion. Specifically, that Sunset’s redemption was a temporary thing and the monster within was just waiting for a reason and opportunity to emerge once more. The potential results of this story could make for an epic sequel of much larger proportions, both in terms of actual events and wordcount. That’s something that I’d like to see.
Overall, I liked this one. It does, however, open up other questions. If the redemption enforced by the Elements of Harmony has a chance of failing so catastrophically, what does that say about Nightmare Moon or Discord? One can argue we’ve already seen that failing in Discord in his temporary joining of Tirek. What are the odds of a Nightmare Moon return? Needless to say, I am intrigued.
A curious story with thought-provoking consequences. Definitely worth my time, even if the second fall of Sunset Shimmer put a nasty twist in my gut.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Legend of the Scorpion Queen — WHYRTY?
What Society Expects from a Princess — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
The Unwilling Sunrise by Highlord Langslock
Twilight Breaks a Pinkie Promise — RaylanKrios
Sweet As Pie by Terrasora
An Apple Comes Out of the Cellar by Seether00
Solem Perditum by PropMaster
Lucky Guy by Crystal Wishes
Tidal Wave by Othynrix
September Stories by Cherax
Back and There Again by Sun Sage
Adventures In Cake Sitting by JMac
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Haven't read any of these.
I don’t know if you know this, but both of my reviews thus far have been followed by a fic which used coverart of RD crashing into a wall.
Seems appropriate.
I thought it would be interesting to write a HiE where the protagonist’s gender wasn’t explicitly specified, although I didn’t work overly hard to disguise it . . . but, as was obvious from the comments, a lot of people glossed over some of the lines that revealed Sam’s gender.
I also wanted to turn some of the common (at the time) tropes on their head--most importantly, the “Oh, you’re a human, here’s a giant sack of bits for you,” and I think that’s turned out pretty well.
As the series continues, Sam acclimatizes more and more to pony culture, slowly fitting herself into a culture that isn’t hers--I’m currently working on the fifth story in the series.
Soarin + Spitfire, and Big Mac + Cheerilee (RIP), and certain obscurities of my own and of others. Granted, none of these is terribly obvious from my collection of stories. For me, it usually comes back to the question of "who have I got a compelling story idea for" versus "who'd look cute together," if that makes any sense. Spike and Rarity's long list of character quirks and differing ambitions have given me a lot to work with… and there's still more to come
.
5049437
5049457
I think the lack of gender specification worked in your favor. It normally would have bugged me, but I think it fit well with what you were trying to do. Looking forward to the next one.
5049499
Actually, I'd argue that's the best way to pick what to write about. I'm firmly entrenched as a RariJack shipper, but I've only two stories that directly addresses the topic. Ditto for LunaTavia. I like to think that any ship can be made to work if approached from the correct angle (although some are more challenging than others), and it can be fun to write any pairing just to explore those angles.
5049457
5049577
Ah, this makes an interesting connection. As Paul was noting a lack of Roseluck stories and also saying that the lack of gender cues for Sam actually had a "what difference does it make?" effect, I had fun writing the same thing, where Roseluck interacts with a character whose gender is never revealed.
5049577
Thanks!
5049616
First, what story? I’m too lazy at the moment to sort through your fics list
Second, something about great minds thinking alike . . . maybe it’s just something about Rose that makes non-gender-specific characters drawn to her.
I’ve worked off and on with a prologue fic from Rose’s perspective, but thus far I can’t decide if I want gender ambiguity. [One advantage to being ambiguous is that I could use a random horse fact I’ve wanted to use for a long, long time, but it’ll go over the heads of most of my readers, ‘cause they know the character of Sam by now.]
It’s a lot harder to pull off when the non-specific protagonist isn’t the first person narrator.
5058956
this 'un