- Member Since 17th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen April 7th
BlueColton
Watched the show. Joined the herd. Ponies on the mind. Veteran fanfic writer. ProfileArt provided by CoutnessMRose: https://www.deviantart.com/countessmrose/art/The-Well-859294420
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BlueColton · 12k words · 11 2 · 308 views
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I like this. This is my kind of Dark >:)
Hm.... not a bad dark and horrifying story.... think you can do similar things with the other Mane 6 members?
In the Apple Factory...
For starters, this story was already done.
And secondly, considering they control weather a drought would be on the heads of the pegasi. and considering the apples likely have more than a little favor from the regal sisters and are a staple of the communit, pretty sure the idea that they would do something like this is implausible, not to mention unnecessary.
Forced grimdark stories and forced grimdark stories.
The minute I saw the short description I knew.
Someone's getting fucking murdered.
6498402 Nice reference XD
6498765 In the words of the great Jontron
"Two kids gon' die tonight!"
Those two kids being Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo.
6498402
6498828
The sequel to this story turns into an AU about earth ponies building an apple factory rather than pegasi building the rainbow factory, and its manager is Applebloom rather than RD.
I are genius.
6498707
...
...
...Well I was having fun until you got all serious.
6499009 Bad stories be bad stories. This story has no sense to it. More os, i am pretty sure in a world of magic and when those who go into a profession have an assmark that reminds them they are good at it, they would get rapidly exposed for murder by an investigator whose ass is saying 'i am god damn good at my job'
6499022 If its written badly give constructive criticism on it. If the story is illogical I could give multiple examples of legendary fics that are rather illogical. If its overdone then... well...
There are more overdone things that remain popular.
6499127 Its hard to give constructive critcism on it. The weather manipulation and such makes the idea of a drought moot, especially when all the farmland in ponyville are around the same area it seems. By all means this kinda story could not happen without severing a major feature of the series from it. And that just seems forced.
There is a difference between nonsense like pastel ponies controlling the weather, and there is no sense such as ignoring a major factor of the world.
6499150
The story says that there aren't enough pegasi left after the war to properly regulate weather.
6498389 I don't know, VampDash. I've been reading so many Dark stories lately that I'm starting to lose sleep at night. It's hard to believe how many talented writers there are on this one site.
6499482 You can do this man I trust you.
6498707 To be straightforward, this is not a grim dark story, not gory enough. And for all their accomplishments, the Apples can't manipulate two powerful sisters to answer to their beck and call all the time when the whole of their kingdom is on the verge of collapse. I think writers give Celestia and Luna too much credit when it comes to what they can do. They're powerful yes, but natural calamities such as droughts, floods, and earthquakes, and even the more uncontrollable inevitability of disease, famine and war, can't be so easily fixed, even in a world full of pastel ponies with magic ass prints.
The backstory about the drought and the war was to provide a setting of desperation about a family that was on its final legs. History shows that even the most law abiding and good natured people are capable of doing horrible things when they feel there is no other way. With AJ crippled, there was little she could do to help her family harvest, leaving all the backbreaking work to Big Mac and Apple Bloom. AJ would do anything for her family, and although she was against it at first, she believed that best way to do that would be to ensure that would always be a source of "nourishment" for the trees.
Now as for some pony finding out about their dark secret, it could happen. It may be soon, it may take years. How many of today's mysteries remain unsolved even with all the talented CSIs and high tech crime equipment we have today? Sure the Apples may be found out, but think of how many trees they might plant before that happens.
And remember that Equestria is a land in turmoil at this point. It's easy to be noble and moral-driven when everyone has food in their bellies, but even politicians and bureaucrats will look the other way if there's some benefit to them.
"Sure I know you're killing drifters and burying their bodies so that you can grow your bloody apple trees, but seeing as how you're the only functioning farm within a hundred mile radius and making a hell of a business out of it, I can keep my mouth shut for say fifteen percent of the profits."
Excellent story.
6507697 Thanks.
The Dark is really dark, and I love how you handled Apple Bloom's conflict and her eventual change. Stories like these should be getting far more views.
Approved for The Goodfic Bin,
s13.postimg.org/5a2dthj87/Giz_Vyc0.png
...and Tag-A-Long's Book Club
s19.postimg.org/9f8s6neur/ribbon_filly_scout_yellow2.png
6984795 thanks. It was one of my first stories. Have to build up a fanbase. Glad you liked it.
great, read this a bit ago but forgot to comment, great story and nice encouragement for bloom
8420194
Filly has to grow up someday.
8420451
i love eating apples and reading the pit about how they tasted was all too real for me. i think i'd stop eating too, but get used to the taste and it's all good
You can has review!
9588191
Thanks so much! This was one of my first stories and it's humbling to know you took the time to read and REVIEW it! Confetti all around.
When she realized the apple was her father, I almost felt bad for Diamond Tiara.
I guess their requirements get lower and lower. Really, putting a loyal worker to deah?
loving this, also
bet*