- Member Since 17th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen April 7th
BlueColton
Watched the show. Joined the herd. Ponies on the mind. Veteran fanfic writer. ProfileArt provided by CoutnessMRose: https://www.deviantart.com/countessmrose/art/The-Well-859294420
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Quite a twisted end... I like it!
Yes... I remember that story. Such a beatiful garden.
Plz continue!
9167122
Though I think my ending is far more merciful.
9167127
Like to keep you guessing. :pinkie happy:
You may want to fix that typo...
A good story, though.
9167291
Thanks. I fixed the typo.
BC
This story didn't have the impact for me that I was expecting. I read the comments and caught the ending might be an allusion to Cheerilie's Garden, which may have been the intention, but as I've not read it, I did not get that. I don't know the story of Cheerilie's Garden, so I suppose the colt truly was going to die accidentally and that Cheerilie is apparently a discriminating killer in that story?
Reading the "sickly" adjective brought to my mind a different intention: Cheerilie arrives and carries some disease (innocuous to her) she's going to inadvertently communicate to the class that is developed to wipe them out (a la FOXDIE in Metal Gear Solid). The disease, apparently, developed by someone more insidious.
Also, the red fell short for me because surely Silver Spoon should have seen a mirror earlier in her life (day, even) that would have tipped her off. Granted, the imminence for the yellow glowers was variable, but there was no indication as to imminence for the red.
9167238
It's kind of hard to have a less merciful ending than Cherrylee's Garden, really. I liked this tsory. It's short, concise, and just unsettling enough.
9167431
To add to my remarks, this story was very “tell-y” for me. Heavy on stipulating the story’s core concept (somepony capable of vaguely seeing the future lifespans and causes of their ends) without actually setting scenes, atmospheres, or showing much action. I also get very little deeper meaning from the tale. It feels like a concept slapped onto pony characters with a vague threat left looming at the end.
9167431
Hi. . Actually, the story has absolutely nothing to do with Cheerilee's Garden. It's based off the creepy pasta story of the same name. Sorry you didn't enjoy it, but thanks for reading.
9167498
Well, I appreciate the clarification. Thank you for sharing your work.
damn that was good
That was a good story, but keep in mind that anyone who hasn't heard of "Cheerilee's Garden" would be totally lost.
9167861
Thank you.
9167930
Since a few people have made that assumption, I've added a note in the intro.
Not having actually read Cheerilee's Garden, I must ask: Why would somebody confuse those two stories?
9175383
It has to do with the ending. Look up a summary of Cheerilee's Garden and you'll understand.
I take it then that Silver prevents Cheerilee's Garden from occuring?
9190727
Please see my note in the summary.
9191062
Oops. I feel silly now.
9191062
Oops. I feel silly now.
9191062
Oops. I feel silly now.
9191062
Sorry. I've no idea why it posted my comment thrice.
9191151
LOL. Don't worry about it.
Cheerilee killing them would be too obvious. I say some unicorn goes rogue with their magic, and blasts the school, barely missing Cheerilee.
That's it?....Well it is creepy
9559865
A very short story. But I'm glad it was...creepy.
Cherilee confirmed school shooter
I thought immediately sickly green meant it was slowly giving way to yellow.
Yikes, Cheerilee. You gonna sacrifice them to save yourself, right? Not actually kill them, right?
I can see why people may think it's a prelude to Cheerilee's garden.
Cheerilee's had enough of everypony's shit, so it would seem. Good for her, good for her. I mean, not so good with the whole child murder, but. Y'know.
Thumbs up from me, very nice.
10910969
Thanks!
Ooo I rly like this idea, I love that you used sliver spoon for it! It was a great twist when she saw what she saw