Rainbow needs Twlight's help to prepare for an upcoming race, and she makes Twilight Pinkie Promise to help her, because everypony knows you never break a Pinkie Promise. But then Applejack asks for Twilight's help at the same time she's supposed to be helping Rainbow. Will Twilight break her promise, and if she does, it that the last we'll ever see of her?
This is a short fic written for Nonpareil Fictions minimalism contest. Go check them out if you're looking for some good reads.
Chapters (1)
Well that was.... underwhelming. I mean... I honestly think it would've been funnier if Pinkie turned out to BE a hitmare or did make ponies... vanish.
5789329 I already wrote that story. I'm aware this one has flaws, largely due to the word limit for the contest. I may have bitten off more that I could chew within the prescribed limits.
5789617 Oh... okay.
So pretty much what in reading means its okay to break a Pinkie promise as long if u have a reason to why u broke the promise. If u dont Pinkie would just be Well Pinkie and like a good friend make u say sorry to the pers- Pony u made the promise to.
5789329
Too obvious.
This played with my expectations and ended up being incredibly mundane instead. Simply perfect. I love it.
It's like a joke that purposely lacks a punchline, it's exactly why it ends up being funny.
Whenever someone makes a pinkie promise, in fiction or in the show, I imagine Pinkie peeking out from behind some random piece of background, and an ominous gong going off in the far distance.
Brilliant. That's is all i have to say.
Short, funny and very realistic. Congratulations
5/5 from me good sir/madam
~Tobben
5789329 That's a little too predictable if you ask me. Personally, I never did get where people got this idea that Pinkie brutally tortures, rapes, murders or whatnot anybody who breaks a Pinkie Promise.
5797267
5789996 Didn't realize how much bland that would've been... okay then.
5797746 If you would have found that interesting, then okay. I just think it would be too predictable.
I find myself in conflicted agreements here. I do think that this could have been a bit less rushed, though I understand if it was a case of word limits. I was expecting something more dramatic, but I also find the whole "Yeah, no, it's not like I'm gonna murder you or anything" mentality behind breaking a Pinkie Promise amusing, especially with how they make it out to be in the show. Not bad, not bad.
5802369
5802958 I agree some build up would have been nice, but the contest had a word limi which made build up nigh impossible.
This wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. I agree with Twi-Fi that Twilight should have been able to easily juggle both duties, especially with how organized she is. In fact, and I bet people would know this, she could have asked Rarity to help RD instead to fix it since Rarity could probably take an hour out of her time. That, or tell RD that she could only be there for about an hour or two because of an obligation. It isn't like RD can go full tilt for a whole day.
It wasn't bad though, and it got me to smile from time to time, but I think your strongest moments were setting up the mythos, as anything with Twi herself was... meh.
5831228 Yep. I bit off more than I could chew within the word limit.
This was an idea for a story that I had that I compressed So I could enter it into the contest/cross it off my list. I was pretty happy with my setup, but by the time I got done setting up the punchline, I was coming close to the limit, and I then needed to deliver the punchline.
Properly told I might have had an increasingly desperate Twilight try to figure out how she could help Applejack without breaking her promise to Rainbow and have each of those ideas get shot down. Rarity is out of town, there is rain scheduled for later in the afternoon, the crusaders antics end up being inconvenient, Rainbow Dash is intractable etc etc.
As it stands it's a one note joke, that is indeed not bad but not good either. I'm okay with this.
... Well, that happened. I totally expected worse, but it isn't called comedy for nothing. 10/10 in my book. Take a like.
Huh... and here I thought she'd shove a cupcake in your eye.
Uh oh. Pinkie knows.
Dang, Twilight. Way to give her ideas for consequences...
Me: Oh, now you're gonna get it, Twili...wait, what???
Exactly!!! So where's the party cannon?!
Me: *blinks in astonishment* Uhhhhh....
Yeah, I'm wondering that myself...
Uh, yes!!!
Weird??? Understatement of the century, Twi.
Oh. Yell at her. Of course. That figures.
Heh heh...hilarious.
Oh. Ok. Good to know. Now we know Pinkie isn't gonna drag somepony into another dimension. Which, by the way...is that...can she do that???
Oh, right...she's Pinkie. She can do anything.
You can has review!
Epilogue: Ten minutes later, Twilight Sparkle got fleas.
3 seconds later twillights brain exploded