Story Reviews » Round Robin Reviews # 16 · 11:07pm Nov 13th, 2016
Hello again, citizens of the FimFic world. PaulAsaran here, back for another set of reviews. What better way to relax after the crazy week we’ve had, amiright?
For those of you not in the know, I work on a tight schedule for a regular blog. The stories reviewed below are cherry-picked from that schedule. Only stories earning one of my two highest ratings and which I feel deserve special recognition make it here. We’ve got some interesting stories this time around, including one that may garner plenty of skepticism based on its premise alone.
So let’s get started, shall we?
Stories for This Session:
Cleave by BlazzingInferno (Requested by BlazzingInferno)
Just Give Me A Reason by SleepIsforTheWeak (Re-Read)
Wassail, Wassail! by Skywriter
Dawn of the First Day by Superluminous
And I Will Love you... by Scootareader (Re-Read)
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 3
Pretty Good: 2
Cleave
14,626 Words
By BlazzingInferno
Requested by BlazzingInferno
This marks the fifth story I’ve read by BlazzingInferno, and by this point I can safely conclude that he’s one of the more consistently creative authors out there. He regularly comes up with interesting story concepts and – unlike others I could mention – always finishes them. In today’s story, we get to explore the origins of everyone’s favorite “Best Friends” (yeah, sure), which are not at all what you might expect.
In Cleave we learn of a mean-spirited, antisocial pony named Candy Heart whose ambition is unrivaled. Coming to the conclusion that certain qualities are the only things keeping her from ascending to her rightful place above the ‘regular’ ponies, she devises a spell to split away her unwanted elements. The result? She gets divided into three unique bodies: hers, Lyra’s and Bon Bon's. But when Candy Heart disappears immediately after the spell is cast, our two confused background ponies must turn to one another to survive and learn how to live.
This story was interesting, to say the least. Bon Bon, a creature of devoted organization, cleanliness and candies, makes for a perfect opposite to Lyra’s creativity, spontaneity and attention disability. Their manner as broken homunculi trying to make it in the world with only a third of a pony’s mental capacity each is one part endearing and another part deeply saddening. This interpretation of the characters is a great play at common characterizations for these two, which is one reason I find it so endearing.
I did have two issues with the story, both being the most apparent in the late game. The first is BlazzingInferno’s style, which is show-heavy. Now, I know that most critics will tell you that show is superior to tell, and I would generally agree with them on this. However, there is something missing in this story that is, I think, a direct result of overusing the style. When we get to the big climax, it should be an intensely emotional scene. In context, I can’t imagine it not being that way.
So why did it feel bland?
I believe the answer is that the author took no time at all to emphasize the characters’ emotions. There’s a difference between showing us what happens and making us live it, and BlazzingInferno definitely gave us the former in this instance. By keeping the events direct, the author effectively robbed the ending of what could have been some intense emotional output.
The second issue is entirely subjective, and that’s my disapproval of planting Bon Bon’s role as a spy into the story. I know it’s canon now, but honestly? I have a lot of trouble taking that aspect of her seriously, and given everything established for the character in this story, it just doesn’t mesh well to me. Especially since it has nothing to do with the rest of the story and thus feels like little more than a fan-pandering afterthought.
But really, that’s a very minor thing compared to the rest of the story. In spite of the lackluster climax, I greatly enjoyed this concept and seeing it fleshed out. I wouldn’t mind seeing this concept expanded upon in sequels or side stories, as the potential ramifications of the nature of their existence are worth exploring.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Just Give Me A Reason
3,653 Words
By SleepIsforTheWeak
Re-Read
I remember this one well. A story grounded more in reality, this is not your typical romance. In Just give Me A Reason, we find that Rainbow and Rarity have been marefriends for three years now. Alas, the magic of their relationship is gone, but Rainbow is desperate to keep them together. So we get to watch as she takes step after step, trying to find something that will rekindle the flame they once had. In the end, the only option she has left is to talk.
I loved this story the first time I read it, and I love it now. It combines a great number of good aspects, from the its grounding in realism to its quiet study of the scenes. With so little said, it feels like we can learn so much. Just watching Rainbow Dash and Rarity standing in the latter’s workroom gives us so much detail about where they are and where they’re going.
As can be recognized from the other stories I’ve read from this author, scene play is one of this author’s great strengths. Not only is everything vivid, but it manages to be so without going into extravagant detail or overworked wordplay. I suspect this author could write an entire story without a word of dialogue and make it good.
Then there is the romance itself. Watching Rainbow struggle is heartbreaking, for her and Rarity. It makes you wonder and fear for their future together, even as you recognize that the direction they’ve taken is both natural and inevitable. Readers who oppose this ship will be pleased, but I think the nature of the story holds far more value than that. Everyone wants to see, write and be warmed by the happy ending, but it takes a certain skill to be able to write something like this.
I strongly recommend this story. For people who want to learn a little more about crafting a story via scene and making the most out of lingering thoughts, this is a must read. For those who feel like they’re abusing dialogue, take a look. And for those who want to learn to write well without writing big, look no further. It was in my favorites before, and I see no reason to change that position now.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Wassail, Wassail!
6,604 Words
By Skywriter
I’ve always had a thing for the Christmas holidays, being second only to Halloween on my favorite times of the year. Alas, it can be tricky to find a good pony depiction of the holiday. Hearth’s Warming Eve was only a ‘meh’ deal to me, but I thoroughly enjoyed A Hearth’s Warming Tale. Most fanfiction I’ve read involving the holiday has either fallen flat or devoted so much attention to things other than the holiday as to make the holiday nothing more than a set piece. Along came Wassail, Wassail!, and I was eager to find out if maybe, at last, I’d found something more appropriate to the holiday spirit.
In this story, we find that Cheerilee isn’t as cheerful as her name, cutie mark and general demeanor suggest. She’s a cynical, lost and frightened pony who doesn’t know where she belongs or how to be happy with herself. As Hearth’s Warming comes along, she thinks of it as little more than an opportunity to abandon her pleasant, ‘good mare’ air, forget her lifelong woes and enjoy twelve days of unhindered partying. That is, until Apple Bloom convinces her to join the Apples in their own special version of the celebration: the traditional earth pony wassail. And upon Twelfth Night, she will find that happiness and home may not be as out of reach as she thought.
This story is quite the treat. Anyone who pays close enough attention will likely notice Cheerilee’s regular moments of exasperation or frustration, and the interpretation of her character in this story plays into those moments wonderfully. Frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t seen this manifestation of her character before (although I may have just been reading the wrong stories).
Along the way, we get more ridiculous Apple Family customs, this time associated with toast, alcohol and questionable tree-choosing customs. I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition and adaptation of pony customs to Christmas; it feels familiar and pleasant even as it folds nicely in place beside Equestrian traditions as conceived by Skywriter. It strikes me as a delightfully warm combination of Christmas and Equestria.
To be clear, melding human culture and concepts into an Equestrian world is hard. Oh, sure, you can ponify a name or two, but to really capture the essence of what a theme or concept is while keeping it perfectly suitable to an Equestrian setting takes a lot more effort. Skwriter pulled it off, and pulled it off well. For that alone, I would consider this story worth my time. My only regret is that this review isn’t happening at the appropriate time of year.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Dawn of the First Day
1,258 Words
By Superluminous
I don’t know what originally pulled me into wanting to read this way back when I first discovered it. As it’s an RiL piece, I must have found it a long time ago, maybe even right after it was released. I dove in with great curiosity and found myself rewarded.
Let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way: yes, this is a fic where the characters are all human. No, it is not an EqG story. If that kind of thing bothers you, turn around now.
Still here? Cool.
The concept behind this story is as simple as can be: Rarity has promised to help Applejack work in the orchards today, and so gets up before sunrise to make the journey. It turns out that she has a very specific reason to be eager to work on the farm for a day, and that has a lot to do with a certain farm girl. Oh, second trigger warning: RariJack incoming, beware you non-shippers!
And yet, the RariJack aspect of this story is subtle and quiet. Much of the story involves Rarity on her long walk for Sweet Apple Acres, and what a walk it is. The most pleasing aspect of the story to me is how Superluminous takes the time to describe the scene in a manner that is imaginative without being flashy, visual but not flowery. It’s a kind of narrative description that makes things like a mere walk appear to be so much more. The scene is a character unto itself, serving to not only define the world around Rarity, but also define her mood, combining her anxiousness, eagerness and loneliness. I myself have always found this kind of narrative a great challenge, and I’m happy to see others pull it off so well.
Beyond the scene, the story itself is straightforward. It wins points for not taking the shipping aspect too far, giving us just enough to confirm suspicions but never fully engaging in the topic. I’ve always had a thing for subtlety, and Superluminous pulled it off nicely.
This story was a nice distraction from the more typical ship fics out there. It’s interesting narrative style and quiet shipping left me thoroughly pleased. At only 1,200 words, it’s more than worth the time you’ll invest in it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
And I Will Love You...
10,565 Words
By Scootareader
Re-Read
How do you define a crackship? My definition, which I understand is different from what a lot of people think, is that a crackship is any story which intentionally depicts a romance as being ridiculous, silly, nonsensical and/or incapable of working without the author demanding it to be so. That is to say, two different stories can focus on the same pairing, and the serious, well-written one won’t be a crackship. From this (admittedly unusual) perspective, any ship has the potential to be a crackship. And why do I bring all of this up?
By my definition above, this story is not a crackship.
In the Everfree, we have Tom, settled atop his hole and feeling almost maddeningly alone. He has existed since before the time of Discord, and has only ever felt any appreciation for his existence one time, in the form of a white unicorn. He holds no hope of ever experiencing something like that again.
In Appleloosa, we have Bloomberg. He stands apart from the other trees, whose manner disgust him, and longs to find something more in his short, meaningless existence.
It seems silly to think that these two inanimate things would ever meet, much less fall in love. But there is one thing that all entities with souls can do: dream. When Bloomberg and Tom dream, it is more than just imaginative wanderings. And so, against all odds, these two find one another.
I know, I know. Anyone who sees this will immediately think ‘there’s no way this could be made to work.’ But it does, and it does wonderfully. In a way, this is one of the most effective love stories I have ever read. It is a testament to the will of love, the fortitude of affection, and the ability for it to surpass millenia, endless distance, doubt and fear and distraction and, yes, even death. This story is, in short, a powerful statement.
There are some issues, of course. The most egregious are a number of typos that show up frequently and sometimes can be quite confusing – the worst being when Scootareader uses Tom’s name when they almost certainly meant Bloomberg’s. The writing itself is slow, thoughtful and at times philosophical, which is only fitting considering who the actors are. The writing style strikes me as… I want to say ‘amateur,’ but that’s not quite right. It sometimes feels like the author is struggling to achieve a specific voice and doesn’t quite know how to maintain it.
Regardless of these issues, I contend that the story makes up for the stumbles in spades. Broadly speaking, romance is never original, but to put these two together in a way that feels legitimate, that evokes the strength of love, that actually makes you feel something for a tree and a rock? That is what makes this story great to me. It is because of this story, and this story alone, that I long ago came to believe that any ship can be made to work if you can just take it from the right angle.
It is slow reading. It is about a tree and a rock, after all. But if you can get past the inevitable predispositions that the very concept sets upon you, you may find something worth remembering.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
If you enjoyed these reviews, feel free to check my blog on Thursdays for the latest set! The goal is to write at least five reviews every week. I also accept review requests – see my profile page for more information.
Only one of these I've read is "Wassail, Wassail," and it was a treat. There were lots of understated character moments for Cheerilee, and every moment was steeped in atmosphere, but not the kind that felt like it was dripping from the scenery with overwrought verbiage. It was a pleasure to read.
Alright, brb, I'm gonna go read a romance story about a tree and a rock.
Somewhat relevant to current events, I once wrote a story about Pinkie Pie planning Christmas and meeting the Clintons.