Wanderer D 5,501 followers · 65 stories

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  • 111 weeks
    SA: The Last Round

    "So, what do you think, Corejo?" Wanderer D asked, politely showing off the stack of papers in his claw.

    The burlap sack with the printed (in color!) face of Corejo remained silent.

    "I see, yes, yes!" Wanderer D cackled. "Ahahaha! Yes! I agree! This story should do fine! So, who's reviewing it? RT?"

    The sack that had the picture of RTStephens on it tilted just enough for a single potato to roll onto the table.

    "And we have two! Alright, team, I expect you all to figure out who's doing the next one, okay? Let's not keep the readers waiting!" He glanced expectantly at the several sacks with pictures around him. "Alright! Dismissed."

    "Sir?"

    "Ah, intern. Is that my coffee?" Wanderer D took the proffered mug and downed the contents in one go. "Excellent! No time to rest! We have to edit what the guys just handed to me."

    Read More

    110 comments · 8,837 views
  • 133 weeks
    SA: Round 186

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    The Dodge Junction train ramp was not where Floydien expected to be part of a reunion.

    He especially didn’t expect it to happen four times in a row.

    “Wait, Winter? What are you doing here?”

    Winter’s eyebrows raised. “On Summer vacation. What about you?”

    “Uh, same.”

    “Guys!”

    The two Angels looked to where the voice came from. Cynewulf came running up to them, a wide brimmed sunhat and sunglasses adorning her head. “Fancy meeting you two here!”

    Floydien scratched his head. “Same. Are you on vacation too?”

    “Yep! Had a blast down on the Horseshoe Bay coast.”

    “Well, ain’t this something!”

    All turned to the fourth voice. Knight strode up, his body decked out in fishing gear, complete with a fishing pole balanced over his shoulder. “Haven’t seen so many of us in one spot since vacation started.”

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    12 comments · 4,637 views
  • 148 weeks
    SA: Round 185

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Winter and Knight stared out at the bleak townscape. All around them, the fires raged unchecked as Ponyville's former occupants stumbled mindlessly about, their undead faces ravaged by rot and decay as they moaned for sustenance. Knight turned to Winter.

    "Ready to go?"

    Winter nodded and shifted a backpack. "Got everything with me. I guess it's now or never."

    Knight gave a wry smile. "That's the spirit. You do have your reviews, right?"

    "Of course!" he said, patting his chest. "Right here."

    Knight nodded and said, "Alright, here's the plan: we stick to the shadows as much as possible. From what I can tell, their eyesight isn't that good, but their sense of smell is excellent. We just have to stay upwind."

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    10 comments · 4,255 views
  • 155 weeks
    SA: Round 184

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “I see. Alright, I’ll let him know.”

    Intern twisted a dial on the small mechanical piece attached to his ear, retracting a blue, see-through visor from across his face. He turned to Floydien, crossing his arms. “It’s confirmed. Generation 5 is on its way. Season 2 of Pony Life is just around the corner. And the series finale of Equestria Girls was scrapped for a holiday special.”

    Floydien lifted an eyebrow. “And, what does that mean for us?”

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    10 comments · 4,412 views
  • 159 weeks
    SA: Round 183

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Over their heads the flak guns peppered the sky. The planes roared and sputtered. The clouds were dark, heavy with the child that was war. It was all noise.


    Cynewulf looked around the bend. “You know, I’ve been reading old fics. Remember Arrow 18?”


    Floydien slipped—a Floydien slipped—One Floydien came through the fractured time in the lower levels of the Sprawling Complex. “Uh, human in Equestria?”


    “Yeah. You know, we were probably too mean about those.”


    “They were terrible. I mean some of them. I guess a lot of everything is terrible.”


    “Well, yes. But anyway, I was reading it, and it occurred to me that what I liked about it was that it felt optimistic in the way that Star Trek was optimistic. It felt naive, but in a way one wanted to emulate. To regress back into it.”


    “Uh, that sounds nice?”

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    7 comments · 5,918 views
  • 164 weeks
    SA: Round 182

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    “Okay, Winter, hit it!”

    Winter pulled a lever that ignited a rocket placed underneath the communal Christmas Tree. The tree blasted through a cylindrical hole and out into the skies beyond. It only took seconds for the tree to become a tiny red dot against the blue sky.

    Winter stepped away from the control panel and down to where Intern was standing behind a fifty-five millimeter thick glass wall. “We could have just picked up the base and tossed it in the garbage bin outside, you know.”

    Intern scoffed. “Yeah, we could, or we can go over the top in a comedic and entertaining manner that leads into our reviews.”

    “You’re getting all meta, now.”

    “Exactly! On to the reviews!”

    ROUND 182

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    6 comments · 7,948 views
  • 169 weeks
    SA: Round 181

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    For the first time in the year that he worked there, FanficFan finally experienced quiet in the Seattle’s Angels Compound. All the other reviewers had gone home for the holidays, leaving him and Intern to submit the last round of reviews of the year. However, with Intern off on an errand, FanficFan was left alone.

    With stories ready to be read by his partner, all the reviewer could really do was wander around the empty building, taking in all the holiday decorations left behind from the Office Christmas Party a few days prior, like office space holiday knick-knacks, lights strown about the ceiling and wreaths on nearly every door. Plus, there was some leftover cookies and egg nog, so that was nice. 

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    8 comments · 6,354 views
  • 173 weeks
    SA: Round 180

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Cynewulf lay in a grassy field. This was a curious occurrence, as the Seattle Angel’s Dyson Sphere-esque compound basement labyrinth did not usually have grass. 


    But like she had many times before, she’d been teleported here, and whether or not the sky above her was real or not, she didn’t mind. The grass was nice, and the wind was nice, and whatever happened happened.
    f

    There was a great crash and Corejo stumbled into the grass to her right.

    “Oh, god, are we out? How did—”

    “No clue. I suspect that it’ll just take us back anyhow. Did you have the reviews? The machine came for me a few days ago, so I’ve got mine.”


    “I… Uh, I was late. I mean, we both are, unless you’ve been here for days.”

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    9 comments · 8,117 views
  • 177 weeks
    SA: Round 179

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Winter peered cautiously out the corner of the broken window, surveying the damage outside. He turned to his companion.

    "Looks like we're trapped in here," he said quietly.

    Intern grunted and adjusted the bandage on his arm. "Nothing we haven't gone through before." He looked up at Winter. "Got your reviews?"

    Winter nodded and patted his chest pocket. "Right here, where they're safe." He turned and looked once more out the window. "Now, it's simply a matter of getting through all those ponies." Winter shuddered as he took in the horrors before him.

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    10 comments · 5,219 views
  • 180 weeks
    SA: Round 178

    Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.


    Matthew stumbled through the basement, crouching low to avoid all the pipes on the ceiling. Floydien hadn’t told him much, just that it was extremely important, had nothing to do with Intern, and to take the last fire door on the left.

    After what seemed like eternity in an instant, Matthew finally came to said fire door, damp with sweat and condensation. He carefully undid the latch and opened it with one arm raised just in case of any traps. Only to be greeted with the sounds of maniacal but joyous laughter as he spotted Floydien sitting in the center of the room surrounded by thousands of stacks of papers.

    “I found it!” Floydien said, tossing a stapled pack of papers to Matthew. “I finally found the answer. The answer to all of our questions. To our very existence!”

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    4 comments · 4,516 views
Nov
13th
2016

Story Reviews » Round Robin Reviews # 16 · 11:07pm Nov 13th, 2016

Hello again, citizens of the FimFic world. PaulAsaran here, back for another set of reviews. What better way to relax after the crazy week we’ve had, amiright?


For those of you not in the know, I work on a tight schedule for a regular blog. The stories reviewed below are cherry-picked from that schedule. Only stories earning one of my two highest ratings and which I feel deserve special recognition make it here. We’ve got some interesting stories this time around, including one that may garner plenty of skepticism based on its premise alone.


So let’s get started, shall we?


Stories for This Session:


Cleave by BlazzingInferno (Requested by BlazzingInferno)
Just Give Me A Reason by SleepIsforTheWeak (Re-Read)
Wassail, Wassail! by Skywriter
Dawn of the First Day by Superluminous
And I Will Love you... by Scootareader (Re-Read)


Rating System


Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 3
Pretty Good: 2


Cleave

14,626 Words
By BlazzingInferno
Requested by BlazzingInferno

This marks the fifth story I’ve read by BlazzingInferno, and by this point I can safely conclude that he’s one of the more consistently creative authors out there. He regularly comes up with interesting story concepts and – unlike others I could mention – always finishes them. In today’s story, we get to explore the origins of everyone’s favorite “Best Friends” (yeah, sure), which are not at all what you might expect.


In Cleave we learn of a mean-spirited, antisocial pony named Candy Heart whose ambition is unrivaled. Coming to the conclusion that certain qualities are the only things keeping her from ascending to her rightful place above the ‘regular’ ponies, she devises a spell to split away her unwanted elements. The result? She gets divided into three unique bodies: hers, Lyra’s and Bon Bon's. But when Candy Heart disappears immediately after the spell is cast, our two confused background ponies must turn to one another to survive and learn how to live.


This story was interesting, to say the least. Bon Bon, a creature of devoted organization, cleanliness and candies, makes for a perfect opposite to Lyra’s creativity, spontaneity and attention disability. Their manner as broken homunculi trying to make it in the world with only a third of a pony’s mental capacity each is one part endearing and another part deeply saddening. This interpretation of the characters is a great play at common characterizations for these two, which is one reason I find it so endearing.


I did have two issues with the story, both being the most apparent in the late game. The first is BlazzingInferno’s style, which is show-heavy. Now, I know that most critics will tell you that show is superior to tell, and I would generally agree with them on this. However, there is something missing in this story that is, I think, a direct result of overusing the style. When we get to the big climax, it should be an intensely emotional scene. In context, I can’t imagine it not being that way.


So why did it feel bland?


I believe the answer is that the author took no time at all to emphasize the characters’ emotions. There’s a difference between showing us what happens and making us live it, and BlazzingInferno definitely gave us the former in this instance. By keeping the events direct, the author effectively robbed the ending of what could have been some intense emotional output.


The second issue is entirely subjective, and that’s my disapproval of planting Bon Bon’s role as a spy into the story. I know it’s canon now, but honestly? I have a lot of trouble taking that aspect of her seriously, and given everything established for the character in this story, it just doesn’t mesh well to me. Especially since it has nothing to do with the rest of the story and thus feels like little more than a fan-pandering afterthought.


But really, that’s a very minor thing compared to the rest of the story. In spite of the lackluster climax, I greatly enjoyed this concept and seeing it fleshed out. I wouldn’t mind seeing this concept expanded upon in sequels or side stories, as the potential ramifications of the nature of their existence are worth exploring.


Bookshelf: Pretty Good


I remember this one well. A story grounded more in reality, this is not your typical romance. In Just give Me A Reason, we find that Rainbow and Rarity have been marefriends for three years now. Alas, the magic of their relationship is gone, but Rainbow is desperate to keep them together. So we get to watch as she takes step after step, trying to find something that will rekindle the flame they once had. In the end, the only option she has left is to talk.


I loved this story the first time I read it, and I love it now. It combines a great number of good aspects, from the its grounding in realism to its quiet study of the scenes. With so little said, it feels like we can learn so much. Just watching Rainbow Dash and Rarity standing in the latter’s workroom gives us so much detail about where they are and where they’re going.


As can be recognized from the other stories I’ve read from this author, scene play is one of this author’s great strengths. Not only is everything vivid, but it manages to be so without going into extravagant detail or overworked wordplay. I suspect this author could write an entire story without a word of dialogue and make it good.


Then there is the romance itself. Watching Rainbow struggle is heartbreaking, for her and Rarity. It makes you wonder and fear for their future together, even as you recognize that the direction they’ve taken is both natural and inevitable. Readers who oppose this ship will be pleased, but I think the nature of the story holds far more value than that. Everyone wants to see, write and be warmed by the happy ending, but it takes a certain skill to be able to write something like this.


I strongly recommend this story. For people who want to learn a little more about crafting a story via scene and making the most out of lingering thoughts, this is a must read. For those who feel like they’re abusing dialogue, take a look. And for those who want to learn to write well without writing big, look no further. It was in my favorites before, and I see no reason to change that position now.


Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?


I’ve always had a thing for the Christmas holidays, being second only to Halloween on my favorite times of the year. Alas, it can be tricky to find a good pony depiction of the holiday. Hearth’s Warming Eve was only a ‘meh’ deal to me, but I thoroughly enjoyed A Hearth’s Warming Tale. Most fanfiction I’ve read involving the holiday has either fallen flat or devoted so much attention to things other than the holiday as to make the holiday nothing more than a set piece. Along came Wassail, Wassail!, and I was eager to find out if maybe, at last, I’d found something more appropriate to the holiday spirit.


In this story, we find that Cheerilee isn’t as cheerful as her name, cutie mark and general demeanor suggest. She’s a cynical, lost and frightened pony who doesn’t know where she belongs or how to be happy with herself. As Hearth’s Warming comes along, she thinks of it as little more than an opportunity to abandon her pleasant, ‘good mare’ air, forget her lifelong woes and enjoy twelve days of unhindered partying. That is, until Apple Bloom convinces her to join the Apples in their own special version of the celebration: the traditional earth pony wassail. And upon Twelfth Night, she will find that happiness and home may not be as out of reach as she thought.


This story is quite the treat. Anyone who pays close enough attention will likely notice Cheerilee’s regular moments of exasperation or frustration, and the interpretation of her character in this story plays into those moments wonderfully. Frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t seen this manifestation of her character before (although I may have just been reading the wrong stories).


Along the way, we get more ridiculous Apple Family customs, this time associated with toast, alcohol and questionable tree-choosing customs. I thoroughly enjoyed this rendition and adaptation of pony customs to Christmas; it feels familiar and pleasant even as it folds nicely in place beside Equestrian traditions as conceived by Skywriter. It strikes me as a delightfully warm combination of Christmas and Equestria.


To be clear, melding human culture and concepts into an Equestrian world is hard. Oh, sure, you can ponify a name or two, but to really capture the essence of what a theme or concept is while keeping it perfectly suitable to an Equestrian setting takes a lot more effort. Skwriter pulled it off, and pulled it off well. For that alone, I would consider this story worth my time. My only regret is that this review isn’t happening at the appropriate time of year.


Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?


I don’t know what originally pulled me into wanting to read this way back when I first discovered it. As it’s an RiL piece, I must have found it a long time ago, maybe even right after it was released. I dove in with great curiosity and found myself rewarded.


Let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way: yes, this is a fic where the characters are all human. No, it is not an EqG story. If that kind of thing bothers you, turn around now.


Still here? Cool.


The concept behind this story is as simple as can be: Rarity has promised to help Applejack work in the orchards today, and so gets up before sunrise to make the journey. It turns out that she has a very specific reason to be eager to work on the farm for a day, and that has a lot to do with a certain farm girl. Oh, second trigger warning: RariJack incoming, beware you non-shippers!


And yet, the RariJack aspect of this story is subtle and quiet. Much of the story involves Rarity on her long walk for Sweet Apple Acres, and what a walk it is. The most pleasing aspect of the story to me is how Superluminous takes the time to describe the scene in a manner that is imaginative without being flashy, visual but not flowery. It’s a kind of narrative description that makes things like a mere walk appear to be so much more. The scene is a character unto itself, serving to not only define the world around Rarity, but also define her mood, combining her anxiousness, eagerness and loneliness. I myself have always found this kind of narrative a great challenge, and I’m happy to see others pull it off so well.


Beyond the scene, the story itself is straightforward. It wins points for not taking the shipping aspect too far, giving us just enough to confirm suspicions but never fully engaging in the topic. I’ve always had a thing for subtlety, and Superluminous pulled it off nicely.


This story was a nice distraction from the more typical ship fics out there. It’s interesting narrative style and quiet shipping left me thoroughly pleased. At only 1,200 words, it’s more than worth the time you’ll invest in it.


Bookshelf: Pretty Good


How do you define a crackship? My definition, which I understand is different from what a lot of people think, is that a crackship is any story which intentionally depicts a romance as being ridiculous, silly, nonsensical and/or incapable of working without the author demanding it to be so. That is to say, two different stories can focus on the same pairing, and the serious, well-written one won’t be a crackship. From this (admittedly unusual) perspective, any ship has the potential to be a crackship. And why do I bring all of this up?


By my definition above, this story is not a crackship.


In the Everfree, we have Tom, settled atop his hole and feeling almost maddeningly alone. He has existed since before the time of Discord, and has only ever felt any appreciation for his existence one time, in the form of a white unicorn. He holds no hope of ever experiencing something like that again.


In Appleloosa, we have Bloomberg. He stands apart from the other trees, whose manner disgust him, and longs to find something more in his short, meaningless existence.


It seems silly to think that these two inanimate things would ever meet, much less fall in love. But there is one thing that all entities with souls can do: dream. When Bloomberg and Tom dream, it is more than just imaginative wanderings. And so, against all odds, these two find one another.


I know, I know. Anyone who sees this will immediately think ‘there’s no way this could be made to work.’ But it does, and it does wonderfully. In a way, this is one of the most effective love stories I have ever read. It is a testament to the will of love, the fortitude of affection, and the ability for it to surpass millenia, endless distance, doubt and fear and distraction and, yes, even death. This story is, in short, a powerful statement.


There are some issues, of course. The most egregious are a number of typos that show up frequently and sometimes can be quite confusing – the worst being when Scootareader uses Tom’s name when they almost certainly meant Bloomberg’s. The writing itself is slow, thoughtful and at times philosophical, which is only fitting considering who the actors are. The writing style strikes me as… I want to say ‘amateur,’ but that’s not quite right. It sometimes feels like the author is struggling to achieve a specific voice and doesn’t quite know how to maintain it.


Regardless of these issues, I contend that the story makes up for the stumbles in spades. Broadly speaking, romance is never original, but to put these two together in a way that feels legitimate, that evokes the strength of love, that actually makes you feel something for a tree and a rock? That is what makes this story great to me. It is because of this story, and this story alone, that I long ago came to believe that any ship can be made to work if you can just take it from the right angle.


It is slow reading. It is about a tree and a rock, after all. But if you can get past the inevitable predispositions that the very concept sets upon you, you may find something worth remembering.


Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?


If you enjoyed these reviews, feel free to check my blog on Thursdays for the latest set! The goal is to write at least five reviews every week. I also accept review requests – see my profile page for more information.

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Comments ( 3 )

Only one of these I've read is "Wassail, Wassail," and it was a treat. There were lots of understated character moments for Cheerilee, and every moment was steeped in atmosphere, but not the kind that felt like it was dripping from the scenery with overwrought verbiage. It was a pleasure to read.

Alright, brb, I'm gonna go read a romance story about a tree and a rock.

Somewhat relevant to current events, I once wrote a story about Pinkie Pie planning Christmas and meeting the Clintons.

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