• Member Since 2nd Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Sun Sage


Life's a dance, and I've four left hooves.

Sequels1

T

This 'Earth' is so close, and yet so far from anything Twilight described on the other side of that mirror. How is Rarity going to get back to her home when she can't understand anyponybody? And didn't Twilight say she became human, and humans didn't use magic? Yet clearly some did... and that wasn't even counting all the devices that might as well have been magical, as far as Rarity was concerned.

Who knew one strange little gem could cause so many problems? They'd taken it from her after it'd brought her straight into a lab for study, but... If she ever found it again, she was definitely going to let Spike eat it. As soon as she got home. And by Celestia, she was going to get home!

...Will Rarity ever find her way home? Is the gem that brought her to Earth the key, and is there more to the factions maneuvering around her appearance?

To complicate matters, this is an Earth recovering from its first alien invasion (Rarity being technically the second, then). ...Or does that actually explain things? No, no it doesn't. But it will.

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To go with the Teen rating (or rather to explain it) there is light profanity and violence. I don't believe either are at a level where the warning tags are needed, but I'll mention it at least.
There may be some darker, more explicit moments in flashbacks, but I'll save those for Interludes.

Chapters (29)
Comments ( 243 )

I would love to see this continue. I've always liked these kinds of stories. Especially watching how the characters interact with others. Character interactions have always been important to me.

So yeah I would really love to see where this goes. Keep posting and I'll keep reading.

8668051
Thanks for being my first comment and a complimentary one at that. Next chapter should be posted Monday and I intend to keep a roughly weekly schedule.

8668333
ah cool that's great to hear. I've witnessed a few stories just post a single chapter and then not update again. It is especially sad because the story starts so well and just never updates again. I was a little worried but glad to know that you are going to have a schedule. I'll be waiting for the updates then.

Forgetting the milk! the most disastrous thing that can happen.

I love the back and forth between the characters that is definitely a great showing. Don't know if I've already said it but character interactions are one of the most important things for me. Character interactions between everyone is an important thing because it shows history and it shows development without having to just tell the reader.

Also is this setting taken from somewhere or is it all made up in your mind?

8672247
Thank you again for your kind words. I agree, establishing the history between the characters via how they interact goes a long way. It gives perspective and atmosphere without force feeding.

As to the setting, it's from my head. Having said that, more of what brought us to this point with our AU Earth here will be revealed next chapter. I doubt it'll be too tough to follow since most are familiar with the signposts I'll be hitting along the way. Thanks for reading! New chapter next week, or this weekend depending on my work schedule.

So certain humans in this story can have magic in their DNA that can be activated under certain circumstances and are called Espers?

Rats. Somebody beat me to it.

8694319
I'd be surprised if I was the first to think of something like that, also. I haven't come across that set up but... There are hundreds of thousands of stories on this site alone. Hopefully though, I can do the concept justice as I continue to tell this tale. Thanks for reading.:twilightsmile:

8694404
I look forward to see how you handle it.

But can I still use it in my future stories? :)

8694423
I certainly couldn't complain about copy-written concepts in a fanfiction. The sheer irony would have Rarity scolding me from her own place at Hasbro. While outright plagiarism is downright rude, using a similar concept to tell a good story? I can't see having a problem with that. Good luck in your telling!

This is definitely great. I love the back story with the espers. How they got their magic is explained so well and given in a way that feels natural. I'm wondering if the Wendigo's were the "demons". At least hoping they are. I don't know if the time frame of 1500 is as believable though, however I don't know how else to tie it into the pony world and human world. It is a long time for this group of aliens to continue using the same ships. Those ships must have looked like scrap heaps. I await the continuation.

8696233
Windigos, eh? The Demons certainly had a huge impact on Equus before their defeat, and we will be going into it, but no details yet. As to their left behind ships... I admit I'm thinking along the lines of Babylon 5 ancient races when it comes to some of the tech. Not design per se, but in that highly advanced races can build things to last, and adding a fusion of magic and tech to the thinking only extends the possibilities. That said, the Oni-koru were only their agents... and haven't taken great care of their inherited equipment. You said it:

Those ships must have looked like scrap heaps.

Aiden commented along those same lines; because you're not wrong. :rainbowlaugh:
We'll get more into that in the upcoming chapters. I plan at least one Interlude about some events of the war that took place on Earth... and the one that took place on Equus. Those will both be double chapter weeks. And speaking of... I'm on vacation from work this coming week so it'll also be a double chapter week; I'm eager to move forward into some action after this exposition chapter. See ya in a couple days :twilightsmile:

8696620
Awesome I'll be checking in periodically in the week then. Hope to continue reading soon. Just remember that there is no rush.

Seriously, Equestrian language has not changed after more than a millenium? And present humans can speak it fluently?:trixieshiftleft:

8712385
Excellent question. Most can't speak it at all. Grumman, who's had the tome, and a father who fully believed in teaching him everything from it, can. Valerie can understand it, because as his aide she's had access to the same information even during the war when it was only of peripheral importance, but she's nowhere near comfortable trying to speak it.

As to standard language drift... keep in mind that pony culture hasn't changed that much from long ago based on flashbacks we've seen. They don't have nearly as many intermingling societies as we do. They've also had the same ruler throughout most if not all of that time, which would also impede language drift. Luna spoke a bit archaicly when she first came back, but Nightmare Moon didn't. Even at that, we could understand Luna.
That tells me that Luna was just the awkward, isolated type... which yes, yes she was, and her speech could have been a bit outdated even 1000 years ago.

Now, all that said (just to prove yes, it's a good question and one I've also thought about) is it a bit of a leap of faith to believe they could understand each other this well based on books that old? Yes, a bit. I didn't want to spend a ton of time on the two parties not understanding each other or the translations being garbled or like some form of baby talk or Yoda speak. Plenty of fics have focused on that kind of thing and have done it well, but that wasn't something I wanted to spend a lot of time on.

So yes, in this AU, Equish hasn't changed much over the years. It's a bit of a lucky break... but let's be honest ponies in particular get a lot of those.

I think I forgot to ask this but where exactly are they? I might have missed the state name, or just didn't realize where the city is. Also liked the rarity interactions here. She is a little flirty and she hasn't had that much needed control or I guess decisions. Also is it a little bit of a subtle nod towards ponies being more affectionate or was I just looking into things there? I remember reading a story before detailing that ponies had nerve endings that pretty much forced them to give and accept affection more often. Besides all that, Rarity is a fairly affectionate mare anyway. I mean she hugged Twilight in the first episode. She loves cuddling.

8712930
I think you're reading Rarity correctly, at least in regards to this story. That nerve endings thing sounds hilarious, I don't see going into that level of detail on the matter here. It's psychological for her, familiar behavior that she has missed and feels safe enough to regain.

Damascus, Virginia, is where they were. At this point... they're somewhere within about a one hour drive of that little town. But yeah, short answer is Virginia, modern day or just a few years in the future of an Earth that, before the war, looked on the surface to be the same as ours.

That book would give Twilight some ideas. Great work on the missions for the two of them. Also nice to know a little more about the oni koru.

Well now this is an interesting little gem to find. Normally in these kinds of 'transported to earth in a lab' stories it's Twilight who gets transported. Maybe some Dash here and there to spice it up, but I think this is the first time I've seen rarity get transported. And what a lovely story it makes.

I'll be tracking this one. I can't give it an upvote for some reason (bug, perhaps) but know that you've got a fan for this one.

8772654
Votes on stories don't show up until it has 10 total. This isn't quite there yet, but as the author I can see the votes before 10, and thank you for praise on it :twilightsmile:. New chapter will be out tomorrow, actually.

A fascinating and interesting start!

I'd like to mark this chapter here as the part of the story that really Grabbed me. This is important, as if I don't get properly pulled into a story I typically don't continue reading it, but once I am, it's hard to stop. I'm going to forge on, and look forward to the rest of it!

PS Forgetting the milk is just the hilarious cherry on top of this enthralling pair of world-building chapters.

Made it to the end of the currently published material, just posting to confirm that I am riveted and raring for more.

Thank you very much! Glad you're enjoying. As it happens, next chapter will be tomorrow. I'm not a chapter a day author... more like weekly-ish. But as it happens tomorrow is a good writing day, so...

See ya soon!

Whelp, now Rarity has her hooves on an uncorrupted alicorn amulet. I weep for her opponents.

Though I feel this story might be moving a bit too fast. We already skipped Rarity's arrival and her time in the labs, and now it's looking like they're going after her ride home and have her back in just a few chapters. That'd be a shame given how there is so much more to explore.

8776399
Pure aetheryte is less powerful than the Alicorn Amulet (dark magic being notorious for its costly power ups), but more harmonious. Not much of a spoiler since they'll be covering that shortly into today's chapter (soon as I finish writing it :rainbowlaugh:).

As to length... well without spoiling I'll just say... we've got a long ways to go in volume 1, and then there's volume 2 to come.

To her arrival and time in the lab... That's coming in an Interlude, actually (working title: For Science, You Pony...). I chose to not start the story there because, although Rarity downplays it, her time in the lab was pretty rough. She's not the sort to sweat the life-threatening stuff, but the first few days... well who wouldn't be terrified? It would have set a darker tone than I wanted for the opening. That said, things aren't going to stay as bright and easy as they have, and that Interlude will have its time.

8776494
Good to hear and I continue to look forward to it.

“Albus is the name of a headmaster at a fictional school for human wizards. Supposedly very wise and very powerful and so forth, but mostly in the books he seems to sit back and let children in the school take a lot of deadly risks. There’s more to it, but… General Albert Grumman was often sarcastically called ‘Albus Grumman’ for his role in bringing Espers to the frontlines when the war began.”

Yay! A Harry Potter reference! I love the Harry Potter books; it rekindled my long-forgotten love of reading books, and it was also the catalyst for me to start reading fanfiction, which I love as well. Ah, good times, good times.

I have my own opinion on Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, but going into detail would result in a long ramble that I don't really have time for now, so I'll attempt to sum it up succinctly: He was a good man with good intentions, and wished for peace without bloodshed, but circumstances forced his hand. He did the best he could, and that's good enough for me — If anything, the Ministry of Magic should have done better.

8778650
I 100% agree with you there. It's the reason Grumman accepts the mantle and also has deep guilt that he couldn't do better. I believe Dumbledore, despite all he did, felt the same in the end.

You've got me with this story. I love stories like these — they often remind me of Stardust, which was among the first fimfics I read — and I can't wait for the next update. I also like how you write Rarity in this story, very interesting. But until next time, good luck to you, and my best wishes. :pinkiehappy:

P.S. Have a like and a follow!

Owens adores his traps, doesn't he? One wonders how often the base personnel accidentally triggered one.

8779136
His mooks don't even bother to learn each other's names, so it's probably 'too often'. :rainbowlaugh:

Her shoulder comes up to his hip? Hmm, that means... that she's bigger than I was imagining at first. :derpytongue2: Like, about the size of a real life pony, then. I always end up picturing them about as big as a retriever maybe? It's nice to have an indicator of scale here, since there really isn't an official one.

8774871
Also I have to concur! The first chapter is a bit heavy on exposition, but the second one is where the fun starts. That moment of first contact is always one of the highlights of 'human meets pony' stories.

Also also Rarity flirting with a human is... well it's weird, but it's that special kind of weird that makes these stories work. It's also cute and funny. :pinkiesmile:

Why does this story only have 13 upvotes? That doesn't make sense! It should have like, at least 5X as much. Seriously. Cmon people! get to it!

Great job so far, loving the story and the history between the people.

8785059
It's pretty new and so am I to writing on the site. It's also in almost no groups (though keroko kindly added it to a couple). It'll pick up steam, or not; I don't mind. I'm writing for myself and those who enjoy, be they a few or hundreds. Thanks for supporting; it's appreciated!

8785052
I use this scale:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/20/human-in-equestria/thread/27204/pony-to-human-size-chart-and-other-dimensions-as-well

First comment on that link... keeping in mind that Aiden is about 5'3" rather than the 6' human depicted (a vicarious experience for me to write, since I'm 6'5"). The original joke was that he used telekinesis to stock the top shelves when he thought no one was looking. Honestly I should have kept that in. For some reason it didn't seem to read smoothly at the time I was writing, but now it sounds kinda cute in a weird way. Ah well. So yes, small pony size, but a little bigger than a retriever (though I have no objection to fics having them around that size). Their torsos are a bit different than a local pony, too, so mass wise I doubt they match up.

Yeah... pacing on the first chapter could use some work. I wanted to get a balance of 'explain enough of the world to carry on with' and 'get on to the interactions we're here for' and I'm sure I could have done better, but overall it got the story to where I wanted it to be, pretty much.

Rarity flirting with a human is... well it'sweird, but it's that special kind of weird that makes these stories work. It's also cute and funny.:pinkiesmile:

I'll take that as a compliment! It's an aspect of her personality that's a lot of fun to play around with. Being human won't get Aiden off the hook that easily. If Spike is fair game... no one is safe.

8785218
my point does remain though. My friend posted a harry potter cross over and it got like 20 likes in the first week. It reached 50 in the first month and both of your writings have fairly similar parts. I guess she did go into thoughts more but she didn't go into as much detail on the backstory for original characters. More or less because she didn't actually have really any original characters but that's besides the point. Oh well just keep writing and we shall see the likes sky rocket soonish. I still think your writing is fairly great.

8785676
There's always a pretty big element of luck as far as the success of a story is concerned, no matter how good it is.

On a somewhat related note, you've got yourself a like and a follow here too!

Ooh! Ooh! Flashback time!

8793763
Ahahaha, yeah. This was planned before your comment about it awhile back, so I thought you calling that was pretty great. It'll be out in a couple days, since Interludes don't count towards my 'post once a week-ish' limit.

Youch, that's a tad worse than Rarity made it sound. Now I'm curious what the other end of the looking glass was like.

8802200
Yeah... You're not the only one who's going to call her on that. Though that sequence did only cover her first week and really, only that first day or so really sucked. It was painful to write.

An interesting aspect of Rarity's personality I find (and I'll mention it here because it can't really work into the story, not like she's gonna say 'well this is how I am, darling!') is how she deals with crisis. The more serious, the more life threathening, the less scared she tends to be. She argued with Super Greed Spike, and basically said 'oh just quit yelling and eat me!' And that's just one example. It's just one of the things I love about her character.

An important epiphany here for Rarity, magic is, after all, simply magic. and one's limits are often determined just as much by presupposition as true lack of ability. I predict that the ability to truly see the shape of the aether will greatly increase the breadth of her magical capabilities when she eventually returns to Equestria.

8805644
I really like the way you put that, nicely said.

I figured out what we were about to see maybe ten seconds before Rarity did...

I think I can guess who that was at the end there, though. :moustache: Interesting that she's able to reach that far - I wonder if it's a reliable way they could communicate?

Ooh! Ooh! Is that Luna at the end?

Aiden blinked, then stared at the translators, as if remembering their existence. ...Which was accurate. “...Oh shi-”

It's that moment of dawning comprehension that I live for.

So, now Rarity and Aiden can understand one another normally? That's a pretty snazzy upgrade. Plus, Luna can tell everyone that Rarity is alive! I probably shouldn't be letting my guard down just because things are looking up though; I think I know this site a little too well for that by this point...

A-HAH! Called our Moon Princess! And dream-sharing proves to be the single greatest language teacher. Can I have one?

8821482
I loved writing that line. Aiden's fairly intelligent, but he's got a little oblivious streak I love playing with. Rarity gets a pass because she's used to magic working things out.

They've still got a long road ahead, but things are moving in the right direction. I had originally considered an Interlude chapter later, sort of a 'Meanwhile in Equestria' kind of thing, which is why the Main 6/princesses are tagged. I haven't tossed the idea, but I'm not sure I'll go with it. I've read those sorts of chapters in fics like this one and they don't do much for me as a reader. It's like 'yeah, I know, they're worried and trying to help, that's cool, but I'm more invested in the A story here, so...'. That said, I always intended this interaction, so they at least know she's alive and well, if far away.

8821564
Right? Foreign language in college was probably my least favorite requirement. I have nothing against people learning other languages; on the contrary I wish I was better at it and I envy the bilingual (or tri-, or more) out there. But my focus was English, that is literally my Bachelor's Degree, and so working in another language was really obtuse for me. 'Here, build this model, using only 1/20th of the tools you normally get'. Very frustrating to suddenly be the one not wanting to talk in class. I got through it with B's and was quite content to do so.

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