S2E12: Family Appreciation Day
Season 2 Episode 12 – Family Appreciation Day
The Cabinet Room, Ponyville
The Agenda:
1. Protecting Zap Apple Jam Copyright. [ ]
2. LONG TERM - Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ]
“Come on, Ms. Top,” Mayor Mare sternly declared as she looked up from the daily piece of paper. “You know stealing is against the law.”
Carrot Top pouted. “I’ve told you a million times already: I made the jam myself!”
“And I’ve also told you that it’s not the actual jam that we’re concerned about.” Mayor Mare picked up the offending product, slowly rotating it in her hooves. My my, that golden stuff looks delicious... “You can’t just go around stealing the identity of other products.”
“Zapp Apple Jam – with a ‘P’ – isn’t the same thing,” he yellow pony insisted as she folded her forelegs in protest.
“While that may be true,” the tan pony admitted, “the name’s too similar to the Apples’ Zap Apple Jam – without the ‘P’.”
“How is it too similar? My Zapp Apple Jam is amber-colored. Their Zap Apple Jam is rainbow-colored. Who could possibly mix them up?”
The bespectacled mare exhaled angrily. “They sound exactly the same, Ms. Top. You’re tapping into Zap Apple Jam’s fame and using it to sell your jam. And that’s stealing.”
Carrot Top decided to try a different tack. “You’re just defending the Apples because they helped you in the last election!” She jumped up furiously. “This… this is favoritism! This is corruption- !”
The tan pony smiled and shook her head at the amateurish – though quite prescient – act. “Well played, Ms. Top,” she jabbed sarcastically. “Now rename your jam.”
“Oh, come on!” Carrot Top threw her hooves up in mock surrender. “Mayor, can’t we negotiate?”
No point in rejecting her offer outright, Mayor Mare reasoned. After all, election season was looming, and every little might help… “What do you propose.”
“Well, I have around 20 ponies working at the farm. I can tell them to vote for you…”
The Mayor’s complexion sunk. “Stop infringing copyright, Ms. Top.”
“Also, I’ll give you fifty jars of Zapp Apple Jam- !”
Time to conclude this silly charade. “Meeting over, Ms. Top.”
*
Everfree Forest Bridleway, Ponyville
“Tree chopping sucks!” Cutie Mark Crusader Tree Chopper Applebloom declared for the six-hundredth time. “And I thought we were goin’ to have fun!”
“Urgh!” The grating whine was increasingly getting on Applejack’s nerves. “I’ve told you already, we ain’t supposed to have fun here!”
“Well, I just don’t get why we need to buck down all them Zap Apple trees!” the little filly moaned, a torn sapling dangling limply from her mouth. “I thought Granny loved them!”
Splinters and bark flew past the orange pony as yet another tree met its demise. “Applebloom,” she explained as she wiped off new sweat. “Zap Apple time is when we make the most bits – bits for the barn, food, everythin’ in between. Got it?”
“I know that.”
“So we just can’t have other ponies just pickin’ Zap Apples from the forest to make their own jam. ‘Cause, you know, then they ain’t buyin’ from us.”
Little Sis’ eyes’ widened in comprehension. “Oh.”
“Do you want us to send Winona away?” Big Sis’ pressed harder.
“No.”
“Do you want to have sprouts every day?”
“No!”
“Then,” Applejack commanded, pointing her hoof at the rutted path. “Quit complainin’ and go watch the Bridleway for me.”
Applebloom lowered her head in understanding resignation. “Yes, Sis’.”
The country mare sighed as the little filly trotted away and turned back towards the small copse of Zap Apple trees. Darned plants, growin’ so fast. She had already bucked down ten the previous hour alone and was aiming for another hundred before the day was out. At least, for comfort, she didn’t have to worry about being charged with deforestation: Ranger Fluttershy saw, however reluctantly and unhappily, to that…
“Hi there, Mister!” Applebloom’s warning echoed throughout the forest. “What brings you ‘round these parts!”
Applejack fled the scene of the crime just fast enough to rendezvous with an old donkey travelling up the road. “Applebloom!” she struck up a pretend-chat. “Well howdy do, sir! What brings you over to this part of the Everfree?”
“Nothin’ really,” a hoarse voice responded. “Just makin’ my way to Canterlot… “
“Oh hey!” Applebloom cheerfully pointed at their visitor’s saddlebags. “I see you bought our Zap Apple Jam! There ain’t nothin’ better in Equestria than- “
“Did I?” Uncomprehending perplexing on the donkey’s face as he looked at what he could have possibly bought in Ponyville. “Oh, that,” he finally saw the rainbow jar jutting out from his baggage. “I bought it in Canterlot!”
“Well I can tell you that our jam is wayy better than- “ The reality of the situation struck the two ponies like an avalanche.
“CANTERLOT?!” they yelled in sisterly unison.
“Yeah, Canterlot,” the traveler replied, nonplussed by the mares’ reactions. “The all-new ‘Zap Apple’ formula. Tastes amazin’, let me tell you that… girls? Girls?”
He looked around, finding nothing of his two interlocutors save for a rapidly receding cloud of dust.
*
The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville
“We’ve done the research, Ms. Applejack.” Mayor Mare flipped through another page of the commissioned report. “It seems that Canterlot’s developed an industrial process to replicate the Zap Apple phenomenon. And because the product is indistinguishable from the natural equivalent, they feel justified calling it ‘Zap Apple Jam’.”
“They can’t do that!” Applejack thumped the desk indignantly. “It ain’t natural!”
The bespectacled mare shrugged. “You don’t stop calling it fruit because you use fertilizer to speed their growth.”
“That’s true, I suppose,” the honest pony had to admit. “B-but ain’t there somethin’ you can do? I mean you got rid of Carrot Top, right?”
“Canterlot and Carrot Top are on two totally different levels,” the tan pony waxed philosophical.
Applejack’s ears drooped. “So there’s nothin’ you can do here?”
Mayor Mare turned towards the window for inspiration. “I’m thinking, Ms. Applejack.”
“We helped you so much last election,” the orange pony reminded the politician.
“I’m doing everything I can.”
“Zap Apple Jams are a Ponyville brand.” Applejack was throwing the kitchen sink in a bid to keep the Mayor interested. “Just like Rarity’s fancy-schmancy dresses and Sweet Apple Cider- “
That produced a lightbulb in Mayor Mare. “Oh.”
“’Oh’ what, Mayor?”
The gray-maned pony turned back to the farm pony, a satisfied glint in her eye. “We may just have the thing you need, Ms. Applejack.”
*
Equestrian Trademark Office, Canterlot
== EQUESTRIAN COMMITTEE OF LABELLING INDICATORS [E COLI] ==
MEETING REGARDING CONFERRAL OF ‘PROTECTED DESIGNATION OF ORIGIN’ (PDO)
TO
SUBMISSION EQ24593ZA: ZAP APPLE JAM
The hearing began as soon as the Mayor sat down into her seat, taking note of the more-crowded-than-usual room. Councilor Twilight Sparkle had accompanied the Apple Family to the audience area.
To the gray-maned mare’s dismay, Canterlot had also sent over a representative – old nemesis Under Hoof – to observe the proceedings. Even worse, the red-maned pony seemed a bit cocky today, smug self-confidence written on her sandy face. But that was generally how Canterlot ponies carried themselves about anyway.
A clearing of the throat from Judge Gastro on the dais. “Let us begin the hearing,” he announced as he thwacked his gavel. “Mayor Mare – the applicant. You are here to request a Protected Designation of Origin– a PDO – for Zap Apple Jam in Ponyville.”
“Yes, Your Lordship.”
“I see.” The judge rechecked his brief. “This means that if we adopt your submission, only jams made within the boundaries of Ponyville and under a specific process can be labelled as ‘Zap Apple Jams’.”
The gray-maned pony nodded. “That is correct, Your Lordship.”
“Understood.” The portly unicorn judge filed these tiresome bureaucratic niceties away. “Now, please elucidate why you think such a designation is necessary.”
Showtime, Mayor. “Two things, Your Lordship. Firstly, the technique to develop Zap Apple Jams was the product of years of experimentation and toil from Ponyville’s Apple Family- “
“Darn right you are!” Applebloom’s juvenile voice erupted from the benches.
Judge Gastro brooked no challenge to his authority. “ORDER!” he demanded, banging his gavel virulently on his desk.
The little filly quickly had her mouth shut by her big sister. “We’ll be having a talk about your language, missy,” Applejack hissed menacingly.
“Anyway,” the bespectacled mare looked uneasily away from the audience. “Secondly, the history of Zap Apple Jam is deeply intertwined with the history of Ponyville. My first witness, Mrs. Smith, will testify as to how the production of Zap Apple Jam spurred the initial growth of the settlement now known as Ponyville.”
“Mm-hmm.” Judge Gastro closed his eyes and nodded regrettably at the incontrovertibility of it all. “These are fair points.”
Applause – strictly no cheering – from the Apple family and their friends.
Rap. Rap. “Well, I see no reason to deny the passage of this PDO,” the disappointed judge concluded. “So unless anypony has any objections, we’ll- “
“We have objections, Your Lordship.”
Great. Mayor Mare didn’t even bother looking at who it was.
Under Hoof strode onto the courtroom floor, a tattered roll of parchment in her hand.
“Oh, please raise them, Ms. Hoof,” Judge Gastro instructed, sufficiently brightened by the presence of drama to ignore etiquette breaches.
The sandy Canterlot representative wasted little time. “Ms. Mare here claims that Ponyville should get the PDO for Zap Apple Jam, because the jam was created within Ponyville boundaries and is a part of Ponyville culture.”
“That is implied, Ms. Hoof,” the portly unicorn responded, acknowledging that Mayor Mare had no objections to this interpretation.
Under Hoof’s face lit up in devilish anticipation. “It is an erroneous claim, Your Lordship.”
A pause to let this certainly-unanticipated news sink in to the Ponyvillians.
“What,” a flummoxed Mayor Mare could only utter in response.
That was the cue. Dramatically, Under Hoof struck down her roll of parchment and let it roll decisively towards the foot of the dais, revealing a whole length of script written in archaic Equestrian. “The Treaty of Horsedesillas, 494: Her Highness, the Princess Celestia, clearly gives the City of Canterlot rights to all terra nullius found within the Everfree Forest!”
Silence as the audience struggled to comprehend the meaning behind this invocation, save for Twilight who could barely suppress a despondent groan.
“Y-you will have to explain that, Ms. Hoof,” the portly judge admitted, slightly ashamed at dozing through the International Law lectures.
“Of course, Your Lordship. The treaty basically states that Canterlot has possession over all clearings and empty land that appear in the Everfree Forest, beginning 494.”
Mayor Mare suddenly felt the sickening urge to commit the most foul of blasphemies. Princess Celestia, you- !
“Of course,” Under Hoof added carefully, “the 'City of Canterlot' described in the treaty is really just a ceremonial designation nowadays. But it does mean that the entirety of Ponyville, emerging as it was from a clearing in the Everfree Forest, is actually de jure a town subordinate to - and a part of - Canterlot!”
The bespectacled mare smacked her head against the table. “You mean to tell me nopony has thought of revoking this 600-year-old treaty?!” she whined.
“Where do you see a revocation, Mayor.” Under Hoof prodded as she rolled up the fragile antique.
“Well… ” Twilight began tentatively. “The Great Reform Act of 836 arguably rendered all former sub-state treaties obsolete- “
“Where in the Act does it spell that out, Ms. Sparkle,” the Canterlot representative reasserted.
The lavender pony’s intellectual confidence drooped out of sight. “N-nowhere, Ms. Hoof.”
“Exactly.” Under Hoof turned away from her vanquished foes and back to Judge Gastro. “So technically, Zap Apple Jam is produced in Canterlot, and so Canterlot should have the PDO for it instead.”
Mayor Mare held her hooves over her ears in despair.
The law was the law, no matter how ridiculous it seemed. “I-I guess your reasoning has been flawless, Ms. Hoof,” a frowning – but satisfied – Judge Gastro remarked. “I see no legal objection to granting the PDO for Zap Apple Jam to Canterlot. This would, of course, mean that only jam made according to the relevant procedure in Canterlot can be named ‘Zap Apple Jam’.”
The silence of an utter rout for the Ponyville side.
“Any objections?”
More silence.
“Then the meeting is concluded!” Rap.
*
The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville
“Welcome to Canterlot,” Mayor Mare mumbled to her orange visitor.
“Shucks, Mayor, it ain’t that much to be hung up over,” Applejack consoled gently. “We don’t blame you for that.”
“They should just take over the government and put an end to my misery,” the bespectacled mare moaned as she wiped her desk with her face.
“Sweet Apple Acres’ll survive, don’t you fret.” The farm pony patted the politician’s back a few times. “We still have the best darned jam in Equestria. Ain’t nopony takin’ that fact from us.”
The gray-maned pony lifted up her head. “That’s true, I guess,” she sniffed.
“We’ll need a new name for our stuff, though,” Applejack chuckled. “We ain’t paying no royalties to Canterlot.”
The bespectacled mare could only laugh bitterly at that. “Yes, you will.”
“But then,” the orange mare tapped her cheek in thought. “We don’t want ponies to not recognize what we’ve got. Name’s gotta be someplace similar to the original.”
A small sliver of a memory was floating back into Mayor Mare’s mind. “That’s true.”
“And it’ll be nice if ponies actually knew the jam was made from real Zap Apples,” Applejack continued.
The memory was growing ever clearer. “Ms. Applejack,” Mayor Mare began.
“Yes, Mayor.”
“Why not ‘Zapp Apple Jam’? You know, with an extra ‘P’.”
“’Zapp Apple Jam’, with a ‘P’… ” Applejack mulled the newest suggestion over in her mind. “Ain’t that Carrot Top’s original name for her jam?”
“Think she’s changed it to ‘Zap Carrot Jam’ or something like that.” I need to remember to buy more of that stuff before I get home.
The orange pony frowned, taking off her hat in deep thought. “I-I don’t know about this, Mayor,” she thought out loud. “We’d be selling something that both looks and sounds like the Canterlot product. Feels awfully like stealin’ to me.”
“Nonsense, Ms. Applejack!” Mayor Mare trotted up to the pony, determined to make her see the light. “You made the jam yourself, didn’t you?”
“Well yes, but we can’t just go around stealing the identity of somepony else’s product- “
“Zapp Apple Jam – with a ‘P’ – isn’t the same thing,” the Mayor continued sweetly.
“Yes, but it’s too similar to Canterlot’s- “
“How is it too similar?” Mayor Mare declared, no hint of irony in her voice. “Your jam is natural. Their jam is artificial. Who could possibly mix them up?”
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Reminded me of patent trolls a little bit. Also, fuck the Apple Family and their artificial monopoly. I have no sympathy for them this chapter.
3019835 Well for once they deserved to succeed. Of course like in real life corportare burrecrats ruin everything because they somehow think the world revolves around them.
You think they would learn but oh heck no they just keep doing the same stuff.
Guess it's true what they say, histroy repeats itself and those who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it.
How does Celestia's land grant to the Apple family and, by the token, the Town of Ponyville not supersede that treaty?
ive lost count on how many times characters here have jumped back and forth on the moral event horizon scale
3020262
You had track at some point?
3020208 Just because Princess Celestia granted land to the Apples doesn't mean that she's granted them the right to be de jure independent from Canterlot. Bit like how creating a new county in the US doesn't mean that said county is now a state in its own right.
Also, reviewing the actual episode, Her Highness seems only to have suggested that Granny Smith's family settle there, rather than issuing any firm legal declaration to that fact. Therefore, no documentation exists to justify any re-interpretation of Ponyville's legal status. As such, whatever the facts are in practice (including the fact that Ponyville actually runs its own affairs apart from Canterlot), the Treaty still stands unrepealed and can be justifiably invoked in a court of law.
Counterintuitive, but that's international law for you
.
3020518 theres is at least two ponies in every chapter
3020664 But municipalities are separate from one another. Canterlot appears to be a City, not a Province or a State. Logically Ponyville would be a part of its Metropolitan area, but not necessarily under its ordinance. It has its own mayor after all.
3020996
Canterlot could be all of them, Castle Canterlot in the City of Canterlot in the Province of Canterlot.
3021024 I thought the Province or whatever was "West Thalia?"
3021026
I haven't seen a map I was just hypothesising how the term Canterlot could be both a city and a province.
3021027 I meant in the story. Several chapters have mentioned Ponyville being in "West Thalia."
There are no provinces or states of any kind in the extremely threadbare official equestria... art...
3021032 West Phalia. From the Westphalia horse breed, which is itself from the German province of Westphalia/Westfalen.
Regarding your previous question, I think a way to consider it is that Ponyville is de jure a town/subdistrict under the larger city of Canterlot as a whole. In that case, you can have a Mayor of Ponyville as well as a Mayor of Canterlot; in the same way as you can have a Mayor of Tower Hamlets and a Mayor of London (Tower Hamlets is a borough within London). Yes, that would make the City of Canterlot extremely large, but that's not terribly out of character considering the similarly gigantic span of, say, Greater London or Chongqing Municipality. Most of it is going to be countryside anyway.
As for Ponyville not being under the ordinance of Canterlot... well, the Canterlot described in the Treaty no longer exists in an administrative sense. Which is why nopony paid attention to it until they could use it as justification in some trademark war.
Thank you for raising the issue, by the way, and I'll try and make some necessary adjustments/clarifications in the story.
Incorrect. Great Britton is a geographical term referring to the landmass containing England, Wales and Scotland. Scotland has and always will be a part of Britton ( unless someone decides to slice it off), hence the name of the state is The United Kingdom of Great Britton and Northern Ireland. Scotland, Wales and England being encompassed in Great Britton part, which is one landmass, the other landmass being Ireland, of which only the north is now part of the union. This does raise questions on what the name of the state would be if Scotland seceded, as all of Great Britton would not then be in the union.
You would have to do more to look at the act of union specifically, but at the time I believe it would have been accurate to say that it made Scotland de jure part of England, at least in terms of sovereignty. If you wanted a surer example, Wales is not represented on the Union Flag because it has been considered de jure part of England without sovereignty of its own for centuries before Scotland and Ireland were added to form the union.
3021388 Yeah, Scotland was a bad example since they still apparently had different laws after Union. I deleted the original entry and substituted Scotland for Wales instead: the latter doesn't have a legal system (at least, not until devolution) separate from that of England.
Oh well, that'll teach me to do better research before prancing around on the Internet like a prat. Thanks a lot for setting me straight.
3021414 It's a very common misconception, I think you can be forgiven now you see the light.
And although they now have some devolved powers there's still an awful lot of ".... in England and Wales, Scotland of course is different...." When discussing policies and changes. Everyone just quietly ignores N.Ireland.