My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic

by swirlstar

S1E10: Swarm of the Century

Season 1 Episode 10 - Swarm of the Century

The Hall of Reception, Canterlot

The Agenda:

1. Meeting with the Princess Celestia [ ]

2. Parasprite Aftermath [ ]

A. Quarantine? [ ]

3. LONG TERM - Break the Power of the Apple Family [ ]

"Please, Mayor, do sit." The Princess Celestia motioned towards the chair, a gesture that was, by now, all too familiar to Mayor Mare, who tucked away her agenda in response.

The tan pony bowed and took her place. "Thank you very much, Your Highness."

"Well; my, my," the Princess began. "Ponyville sure has had an... impressive record of disasters ever since your tenure began."

"Unfortunately so, Your Highness." Mayor Mare wasn't sure whether the alicorn meant her words to be an observation or a veiled insult. She decided not to point out the fact that Twilight Sparkle could have been an alternate cause.

"However, I will accept the responsibility for this incident with the Parasprites - tea?" the Ruler of Equestria asked, already pouring out a cup. "You will understand that the Government has never come across such creatures before."

Mayor Mare silently sipped the hot brew.

Princess Celestia continued. "The Fillydelphia Incident has alerted us to the seriousness of this infestation. It is of the utmost importance, therefore, that the Parasprites not spread any further - especially not into Canterlot."

The tan mare continued to sit in silence, silently predicting what the Princess was going to ask of her -

"Mayor Mare." Princess Celestia brought the Mayor back to Canterlot.

The tan pony looked up with a start. "Yes, Your Highness?"

The Ruler of Equestria cleared her throat. "Mayor Mare, it is therefore imperative that you quarantine the Everfree Forest through any means necessary. I do not want any Parasprite, pony or animal to walk in and out of that forest for as long as the order stands. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Your Highness," the tan mare nodded.

"Thank you, Mayor. That will be all- "

Instinctively, Mayor Mare interrupted. "Princess Celestia, may I ask about our aid?"

The Ruler of Equestria frowned. "Aid?"

"Yes," the tan pony repeated. "our aid. Because of the Parasprites."

"Ah," the Princess had hoped that the Mayor would not broach the subject. "You will doubtless understand that our obligations to Fillydelphia are paramount- "

"What?!" Mayor Mare let out a barely-restrained yell. The royal guards gave her a visual warning.

" -and preliminary reports seem to indicate that the infestation was brought into Ponyville," the Ruler of Equestria overrode her subordinate's protests. "I apologize, but Ponyville's eligibility for aid will have to be assessed at a later time."

Mayor Mare tried her best to appear normal, despite the fact that her insides were tearing themselves apart with rage. "Right," was all that she could muster.

*

The Cabinet Room, Ponyville

Mayor Mare started long and hard at Fluttershy, who was trembling uncontrollably in the leather seat opposite.

Silence. The tan pony had no intention of initiating conversation.

The yellow pegasus gradually, excruciatingly worked up the courage to speak. "I... I'm sorry, May- " she whispered.

"What?" the Mayor responded angrily.

"I... I... I'm... eep!" Fluttershy buried her face in her hooves and curled up in the chair, not daring to look at her enraged boss.

Mayor Mare decided to cut this charade short. "Ranger Fluttershy, in any other circumstance I would have had you dismissed on the spot. But for now, you will help us determine the best boundaries for Ponyville's sector of the Everfree Forest Quarantine Zone."

On cue, Security Chief Delta Force took out a map of Ponyville and its environs and smoothed it on the table. "Ma'am," he gruffly said to Fluttershy.

The quivering yellow pegasus remained mired in terror and self-hate.

"Ranger Fluttershy," the red stallion repeated impatiently.

No effect.

"Ranger Fluttershy," the tan mare menaced through gritted teeth. "Don't. Make. This. Harder. Than. It. Already. Is!"

The pegasus let out a little squeal, fear of this new threat fast overcoming her other terrors. She uncovered her head, just enough to see the two ponies glaring at her.

"Flu-tter-shy!" Mayor Mare took care to pronounce each syllable with undisguised malice.

The yellow pegasus gulped, cautiously raising her head to the level of the table. She slowly surveyed the map in front of her, taking frequent breaks to glance at the two officials.

"So, you see here," Delta Force put a hoof on the map. "Our border with the Everfree Forest is around ten furlongs. We start with the mountains here in the north- " the Security Chief slowly swept his hoof down the length of the paper, "- we have the ground in front of the river, we have the Everfree Bridleway, we have the farms, and then, the border."

"Umm... okay," Fluttershy eyed the two ponies nervously. She put her own hoof on the map. "C-can I ask w-what you're g-going to... use?" she stammered, the words exerting a greater toll on her than any equine illness.

"Same thing as they're doing in Fillydelphia. Piles of scented edible things, intermixed with iron and other inedible items, in a concrete box that's only open on one end," the Security Chief replied. "Not a hundred percent foolproof, but we don't have any better choices."

Fluttershy turned her wide-eyed gaze back towards the map, shaking all the while. "W-well, you c-could t-try a l-line f-from the m-mountains," the pegasus dragged a skittish hoof across the map, making an incessant series of 'clop' noises, "- to the river, a-along this c-creek and a-along t-the boundary of S-s-sweet... Sweet... " Fluttershy's internal strength was fast failing her. Her eyes darted nervously between her two superiors.

"That boundary just happens to put your house within the Non-Quarantine Zone," Mayor Mare commented semi-innocently.

The yellow pegasus broke out into a cold sweat, not realizing, until now, the political incorrectness of her plan. "Uh... uh... oh!" she said, her mind flailing wildly for a solution, dark scenarios of disgrace and humiliation racing through her mind. "I... I... oh!"

Just when all seemed lost, the pegasus came across some sudden, panicked inspiration. "H-here! Mountains - River - Canterlot Trunk Road!" she gabbed in one fearful breath, her hoof swiping at the map.

Mayor Mare smiled to herself as Ranger Fluttershy, now staring doggedly at the table, audibly gasped for air. The pegasus had, in her haste, neglected political considerations once again. The new boundary ran near the edge of Ponyville's built-up areas - excluding not only Fluttershy's home, but also Sweet Apple Acres.

Perhaps the time has come again for land reform.

*

The Mayor's Office, Ponyville

"Please, Mayor, you can't keep Sweet Apple Acres outta the Zone!" Applejack had prostrated herself on the ground in a futile attempt to change the Mayor's mind. "We've already lost the barn! If you do this, it's gonna be the end of us Apples!"

"Ms. Applejack," Mayor Mare reassured the farm pony. "This is not our decision to make. We are simply following the Ranger Survey's recommendations."

"Ranger Survey? But that's- " something clicked within the orange pony's brain. "Why, that Fluttershy! I'm goin' to show her... "

"No, no, no, Ms. Applejack," the Mayor mentioned quickly, seeking to forestall any acts of revenge. "This is the Ranger Survey's recommendations we're following."

"But ain't Fluttershy a Ranger?" Applejack said, looking up at the tan pony. "So she made the- "

"As I said, this is the Ranger Survey's recommendations," Mayor Mare repeated.

"So Fluttershy drew- "

"This is the Ranger Survey's recommendations, Ms. Applejack." The tan pony interrupted with an air of finality.

"But... argh!" the farm pony had bigger fish to fry at the moment. "Mayor, whatever this map is, please put Sweet Apple Acres within the Zone! Please!" she begged.

"Can't you move your apple trees somewhere else? You may have some time," the Mayor suggested sweetly.

"No Mayor, please!" Applejack continued to plead, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Sweet Apple Acres' where the Apples began! It's the only land we have which is 100% Apples through and through! Please, please, please, don't do this to us! You gotta do somethin'!"

Victory is at hand! Mayor Mare let the tension build up a little more. Once more, she regarded the farm pony in front of her: normally so proud, so active- now reduced to a sniffing, begging heap, passively awaiting her fate... wow, so this must be what sadists get high on.

Satisfied, Mayor Mare finally sighed. "Well, Ms. Applejack, we do have a solution- "

"Do you? Do you?" Applejack jumped up and clambered onto the Mayor's desk eagerly. "Please tell me, Mayor, please; I'll do it, I'll definitely do it!"

"Hmm... " the Mayor decided to leave the orange mare hanging for a while longer. "It's not what we could call 'above-table'... "

"Come on, Mayor; it'll be our secret, it'll be our little secret," Applejack winked one eye in touchy anticipation.

"There are clauses, you see, within the Quarantine Law," the Mayor mused, "that allow for a special defense of government property... "

"And- " The orange mare's eyes shot open at the realization. "But that... does it... we gotta sell Sweet Apple Acres to you?" she blurted out. "But- "

"It's only going to be a formal ownership." The Mayor remarked nonchalantly. Well at first, anyway.

The orange mare found it hard to digest the information. "B-but... isn't that the same as... I... "

"It's the only way, Ms. Applejack, as far as I can see," the tan pony explained, shaking her head for emphasis.

Applejack bit her lip, nervously weighing pros against cons. "Mayor Mare... I don't... we-we can't... "

The orange pony walked to the window, looking at the distant apple groves. She gulped. "I need to... Big Mac... but... " The farm pony sighed and closed her eyes in contemplation. Slowly thinking. Slowly weighing. Slowly concluding-

"Alright. Guess there ain't any point in ownin' somethin' that don't exist," the farm mare finally admitted. "Mayor, I agree. Give me a few days to convince the rest of 'em," exhaling audibly, Applejack opened her eyes again, as if she had just entered into the world for the first time.

She eventually recovered. "Well, thank you, Mayor, I guess," she remarked, trotting out of the door. "I'll get back to you ASAP. And I'll make sure not one word of this gets out."

Mayor Mare breathed her sigh of relief. "Thank you, Applejack!" she waved.

I win! The tan pony enjoyed a blessed two days.

*

The Hall of Reception, Canterlot

"Mayor," the Princess mentioned as soon as the tan pony had taken her seat. "Apologies for the summons once again, but I believe this will be a well-appreciated one."

"Thank you, Your Highness!" the Mayor chirped, still giddy from her triumph over the Apples.

"I am very much heartened to know that the Parasprite infestation has remained contained within the Everfree Forest," the alicorn said, levitating over a cup of tea. "Now, with control thus established, we can start the cure."

The Mayor's heart stopped for a second. No, no. "You mean, find a cure?" she clarified, hoping against hope that her ears were at fault here.

Now it was the Princess' turn to beam. "And here we see why this meeting shall be well-appreciated: no, I have found a cure!"

"W-what!?" the tan mare wheezed, horrorstruck.

The alicorn raised an eyebrow. "Surely this is a good thing, Mayor Mare."

"I... " the Mayor couldn't believe that her plans had been foiled again. "I was just... amazed by... the speed of the discovery! Praise Your Highness!" she quickly prostrated herself on the ground.

The Ruler of Equestria chuckled. "That is very unnecessary, Mayor. Further analysis of the Fillydelphia Incident seemed to indicate that these Parasprites were not resistant to cold. Winter, therefore, will almost certainly be a most potent weapon against them."

"Your Highness, would that not upset the calendar by too great an amount?" Mayor Mare asked, pleading for a last-ditch miracle.

"Needs must. And I believe that the ponies wouldn't mind a few additional months of spring and summer," the Princess explained. "We'll just need to bring Winter Wrap-Up forward."

*

The Mayor's Office, Ponyville

Well, at least this plan could fail with dignity.

"Ms. Applejack? Please come in!" A grimacing Mayor Mare ushered the orange pony into the room.

The farm pony came in, slightly perplexed. "Mayor, I'm not ready yet... Granny Smith's not quite there... " she started, taking her seat.

"No, no, Ms. Applejack!" Mayor Mare put on her best cheesy grin and waved Applejack's concerns away. "There will be no need for you to sell Sweet Apple Acres anymore!"

The orange pony's eyes widened. "Wha- did somebody find out?" she murmured, rapidly relapsing into depression. "I'm... I'm so sorry, I tried- "

"Oh, no no no, Ms. Applejack!" Mayor Mare patted the farm pony politely. "The Princess Celestia has decided to initiate winter a couple of months early so as to destroy the Parasprite infestation once and for all!"

Applejack's jaw slackened, the farm mare unable to believe that she had finally been liberated from the clutches of death. "But... but... by Celestia... that's amazin'!" She said, instinctively throwing her forelegs around the Mayor. "That's... praise Celestia, thank you so much!"

"No worries, Ms. Applejack," Mayor Mare cooed, determinedly suppressing the lingering bitterness in her heart.

The farm pony withdrew and looked at the Mayor right in the eye. "Thank you kindly for your offer, Mayor, even if I never had cause to use it. I owe you one."

"The pleasure's all mine, Ms. Applejack. Congratulations." Mayor Mare gently dismissed the farm pony.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Well it looks like the Mayor should finally check break the power of The Apples off the list. You just can't touch em like it or not.

[Seether00]

I get the feeling Celestia hates Ponyville now that it's served her purposes.

Think about it. She gave the land to the Apples to start a settlement near Everfree Forest, knowing the Elements were in her former castle. Now that Luna is free, Ponyville can burn and she doesn't give a flying feather.

[silvadel]

2473004

Yep I do believe the apples would make better allies for breaking one of the other interests that the Mayor might want to destroy.

[swirlstar]

2473061 Personally I view the relationship between Celestia and Ponyville like so: Ponyville is a settlement that has an influence that is grossly above its stature (because of the Elements), and also a settlement that has generated an inordinate amount of disasters for her Government and Equestria in general. Given this, she has to tread carefully, and err on the side of the 'traditional' elite cities, in order not to upset the carefully-balanced regional relationships that bind the land of Equestria together.

[Seether00]

2475809

Yeah, but most of the disasters have been direct results of the Element bearers themselves. Lets make a list in no particular order.

1. What it. Need it (Twilight's fault)
2. Running of the leaves embarrassment (AJ+RD)
3. Flim Flam Bros. (Intervention of the elements prevents breaking up of the Apple Family monopoly.)
4. Stealing the Princess's pet (Fluttershy).
5. Terrible clothing, giving Ponyville a bad name. (Entire mane 6. I include Rarity for not putting her hoof down.)
6. Tornado duty almost failing (Rainbow's fault, due to going for the record unnecessarily and bad management skills)
7. Assault on a innocent donkey/harassment. (Pinkie's fault)
8. Unauthorized large scale musical number resulting in a large quantity of work hours. (Pinkie again.)
9. Assault and disturbing the peace. (New Fluttershy)

[SuperPinkBrony12]

2475737 Fancy Pants comes to mind. He's not even a Ponyville resident so naturally it makes little sense for him to have a lot of influence in the town. There's also the Richs but considering they contributed to the mayor's election it would be harder to break them.

[fedback]

This is SO good....damn i am suposed to be sleeping