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(Joke) Alt. Title: Armchair
Well atleast we can say that no one died.
Another interesting chapter in which Twilight finally understands the balance that needs to be maintained.
It's good to see Luna and Twilight have made amends. I suspect though that Twilight will also have to confront Celestia at some point though, where as she holds responsibility for not informing Twilight of her parent's illness as well.
Commence read.
Some pleasant progress.
1772955
Welp. I came close.
I had dropped everything once i saw this update. I left another story in the middle of a chapter, just to see if i called it or not. May not be a bullseye, but it was close.
great chapter!
even though it's rather dull that there were no real consequences or change from the whole ordeal; im glad that they solved their issue and that the situation didn't take an "angry luna" turn.
YAY updated! I NEED MOAR! pretty pwease?
I feel as if though this story would be better if it romance wasn't the focus. To me, the concept of the archmage is what interested me and the idea is probably the best I've seen in a while. I feel as if though the romance almost ruined the story concept. I do think you have managed to pull it off, albeit a little bit uneven. I think that if you really wanted romance to be the focus of the story, you should have introduced it earlier. For me, the first half was fantastic. It was all about the archmage and his/her duties, responsibilities, and training. Then you introduced romance. At first, the idea that Twilight losing her virginity in order to fully grasp dark magic was strange, but acceptable. However, I think the clop chapters are completely unnecessary. It doesn't really add anything to the story and really didn't fit the concept. You could have easily just taken out the clop chapters and put them as optional.
This is just some constructive criticism. I think this is a great fic but the romance ruined it for me. That being said, I'm still going to follow the story. It's a good read and I'd like to see it finished.
1805233
You will be pleased to know that the romance will take a moderate backseat to this story for the next...
Well, almost until the end.
In fact, there will be a fairly major story arc involving the Archmage and the 20 unicorns currently handling her duties.
I was checking like, all day yesterday to see if this updated. glad to wake up to it first thing today.
Well this is certainly up for "favorite chapter." And did not disappoint. Wasn't expecting the Nightmare Twilight part, but I did like the usage and the emotions Luna brought to the table regarding it. I also liked that Twilight didn't immediately forgive Luna after Luna came clean about her feelings. I noticed that most of my critiques I mentioned in my last comment were addressed or began to get addressed, by this chapter while still feeling natural, which is nice.
So twenty ponies to take care of one ponies duties? Sounds pretty hardcore! If things follow the pattern of pairs, that'd be ten duties total, with twenty schools of magic. I do wonder how many ponies know shadow magic, since Luna's what I persume to be the best master, but obviously not the only one, as Nocturnal Glow obviously had to know shadow magic. I like Crest and Harbinger, I thought they were decently fleshed out for extra's who may or may not return.
Now I suppose my main questions are regarding Luna's past love, and what went down there, and how Twilight will react if she knows Luna and Celestia knew when her parents collapsed. Which makes me wonder, because Celestia was kinda pissed they hadn't contacted Twilight, but knew exactly when they got close to death? AND they can do something akin to spirit summoning? There certainly are many types of magic implied, and I wonder if they control life and death magic, which would be some heavy stuff.
Edit: oh and I wonder exactly what it was the Night said to Twilight. Probably something like, turn back or be destroyed.
And finally Celestia must be pretty hardcore to be able to handle both the sun and moon for a thousand years by herself.
1805962
We've already shown that mentioning this subject is really painful for Luna, do you really want to go back to that subject?
Think about how Luna would feel! do you really want to hurt our favorite princess like that? You asshole!
1806086
OH NOES! I didn't mean too! Sorry Luna!
On a more serious note, It just seems that if Twilight has to learn about love, why can't Luna learn too if her only experience was a negative one, which would probably make it necessary to explain how it went wrong the first time.
1806086 Yes, well, joking aside, we better see Luna's past, because she owes Twilight one hell of an explanation.
Honestly, that little fallout the two of them had at the graveyard? Very high intensity and emotion, yes, but in the end it fell flat =/ There was no major consequence against Luna for what she did to Twilight, the hurt she put her through. She was letting the night consume her, ready to go ape shit on Luna, and she just tells Twilight she loves her, and then also goes on to say that she's made a mistake and doesn't know if what she did was right. And Twilight just accepts all of that? Yeah, in passing Twilight mentions that Luna has a lot to explain, and she does, because what she did and how she went about righting it was ridiculous.
What upsets me is that Luna seems to be contradicting herself. Before, when she talks to Celestia, she alludes to loving Twilight, and then they have sex, and as Twilight said they both know what that implied, but then Luna goes on to say that she's afraid of falling in love again, because of what happened last time (she's obviously very vulnerable and deeply troubled), and that she made a mistake, but in the end, when Twilight tells her they can try it out, between the two of them, a relationship, Luna hugs her and accepts? That mare is sending out some seriously mixed signals, and it's jarring.
It's just... I think a lot of this pent up drama and tension was released without really reaching a proper climax. Luna got off considerably easy, and I find it difficult that Twilight would seem to forgive her so readily and easily. I really think we need to see some of that pre-mentioned Luna vulnerability, because so far, there have been no repercussions.
Gah, I just don't know, it doesn't sit well with me
Anyway, besides this arguably major plot point, I have been loving this story through and through. The dialogue is great, the characters are great, all of it, really well done! Although, as I think someone mentioned before, I kind of expect there to be a another fallout in the not so distant future. Both princesses had known about the death or ailment of her parents, yet neither of them told her? Not even to let her say good bye? Like Shining said, that's horse shit, and I can't see that going down well either way.
Mmm, wonderful story so far, spectacular really. A few things are grating against me, but I can only hope for the best and keep riding this wave as it continues on.
I will be waiting with bated breath
1806210
This chapter is, more or less, a two-parter. Next chapter, we will hear more about Luna's past, and see Twilight develop a little more as the Archmage.
Trust me, this story's far from over
Well, looks like the TwiLuna ship isn't sinking anytime soon.
Excellent chapter (as per usual, it seems), Loyal, keep it up.
1804175
What?
Holy shit. At first I was like "please, for the love of Celestia, don't let this story slide into shipping-hell".
Then THIS came out.
Holy SHIT. Talk about balance. I remarked earlier that you would need to choose if this story was about Twilight growing into her role as archmage or if this story was about Twilight and Luna's relationship. Somehow, and I'm not entirely sure how this happened, this chapter manages to balance the two in a manner that, I feel, is basically faultless. Sure there might be a few hiccups here and there, but that's irrelevant to the overall quality of the balancing act performed here. Really great work.
THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
I'm sorry, I had to.
Btw, I hope you're feeling better from whatever sickness you caught ahold of the other day.
1807628
"Archmage" sounds like "Armchair"... At least to ME it does!... But what the buck do I know?
1808909
Archmage -> Same pronunciation as Archangel -> Ark-mage
Armchair -> ärm"châr' -> Arm-chair
Unless you pronounce Archmage as "Ar-mare", no, not really...
1808999
Again, what the buck do I know?
1810676
The world may never know.
Normally, I cannot stand shipping. This story, however, takes that mentality and throws it off of the Canterlot Observatory's balcony.
In my opinion, some parts of this seemed a bit forced. like where twilight was talking to luna.
I dislike the cursing, tho. It feels wrong. I do, however, like what you did with the whole nightmare moon thing, as well as the sun raising.
Great chapter. The only thing i hate about this story is that it's going to come to a conclusion eventually.
Keep up the fantastic work.
Do i really need to say anything?
I totally realized something while rereading this story. Twilight and Luna are raising/touching each others chins like crazy. I almost expect to see Celestia or Cadance facehoof they do it so much.
Edit: Actually I went back and counted, and I think I caught it happening about 4 times, it just seems like more because two happen in this chapter and two in an earlier chapter.
1812691
That would not fit into the story... Probably...
That was... awkward. Solid world-building, but the relationships? Awkward.
That's about all I got
1805233 I for one liked the romance i do agree that it would be better if it was optional but would not like it taken out the only downfall would be that it would be extra work for the writer to make 2 copy's of the same chapter.
1824511 You can just isolate the clop sections and put them into optional chapters by themselves. It's not that difficult but I get what you're saying.
1827116
If you don't like the clop, you can just not read those parts, that's what I do
1831146 I skip clop whenever I'm not editing it *Pinkie Pie shrug*
1805233 I will agree I'm far more interested in the archmage aspect than Tsundere!Luna and Canon!Twilight together. I won't say that this ruined the story for me, but it certainly could've been cut and I would've enjoyed it just as much.
1805233
I found the romance rather important to the story both times I read it. It provides emotional conflict for Twilight, which give the story more to build on as she tries to pick up all these new skills and deal with this huge responsibility, and I feel it's a great direction for the characters to develop. I understand seeing it as unnecessary, but I for one think it's a very important part of the experience ^.^
Minor typo.
Honestly, this aspect of the Archmage's duties? Doesn't make any sense. If it's so tricky and dangerous what do they do when the Archmage suddenly has to be out of town? That seems like playing with fire. Also, if Celestia and Luna have really been doing this for literally millennia, they should know it better than anyone. Why would they need any help at all? It should be rote by now.
I have to agree that this does not make since for a needed duty. There is a simple device that would take care of this duty and it has been around for longer then the ability to work iron. it is called an Astrolabe. I happen to own one. it would also tell Luna where navigational and other permanent stars need to be each night as well as the proper time of sun and moon rise and set every day of the year.
Well, it certainly is nice to see that some things are beginning to come together and not turn into utter chaos. Alas, the time grows late. I'm off to slumber, but fret not, for I shall return.
~SolidFire
1806210
cant realy say much better then that. exept the luna forgiveness part... parshly... you have valad point but i think hammered as too much of a deal breaker. i think what your going for there of witch i agree with is that luna DOSE need to give FULL CLOSURE of her mistakes insead off saying she has them without actualy confronting them, to truly give herself to twilight
but other then that every other point you made was great.
2627914
And you obviously have no idea what an astrolabe does or what it's used for. You can't just determine where the stars are by using one, especially since the orbital shift that occurred in 2012. Also, an astrolabe requires somepony to hold and use the device, so again, somepony would need to be present to record the angles. Unless you're proposing that they cast an animation spell on an astrolabe.
2524534
Um, did you notice that it said there were others that handle the duty? They can take over in a pinch. Also, it may seem nonsensical, but there is a reason. Weather patterns require precise measurements, and the moon needs to be in a precise location for tides. Same holds true for the sun, which is used for time measurements. It's nearly impossible to be able to make minor adjustments when you're holding a giant ball of gas. Having somepony else there is like a spotter for a sniper. It's not precisely necessary, but it is a big assistance.
That was so much fun to read. It was like being in mission control for a shuttle launch (or, so I imagine).
remove end " marks
___________
6044829
Can you give a link from a credible source on the Orbit Shift? Google-fu fails me on looking for the 2012 one, and I'm not seeing any scientific data on that. So any credible sources on that would be helpful, thanks.
And yeah, I see the Archmage as a Spotter as well. Not really necessary (if the princesses were to plan in advance, or do the math themselves), but able to take some of the work they'd need to do themselves off their withers. Giving them more time to focus on more important tasks.
7496735
If Google can't help you, you could always try wikipedia. Google's tagging can be spotty at times, so it's sometimes better to try searching a site directly. There's also sites for National Geographic and Scientific Journal; they may have relevant entries.
I'm confused though; I don't recall posting anything about the orbital shift here.Nevermind; you were responding to two posts I made. Hope my suggestions help.