Team Friendship 2

by Carnival

Deus Ex Machina

"How long are these stupid bugs gonna keep coming? We've been fightin' for like hours..."

Medic leaned awkwardly against the wall after the team finished off yet another wave of changelings. "I have no idea..." he said, sighing. "Zere seems to be endless amounts of zem... and ve still have to fight Merasmus... He's up in ze clouds vere you found me, Scout."

"...Should I go up and get him down?"

"Vould be useless. He's protected by some veird energy ball created by himself and ze shadowy mare. He's probably under her influence like I vas, and knowing Merasmus he has no actual friends or teammates so zere's really no one able to truly snap him out of his craze. Except for maybe Soldier, who knows him ze best."

"ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF WITCHCRAFT, MISSY?!"

"No, Soldier, no vone is accusing you of anyzing. Ve just vant you to go up zere and... save Merasmus."

"FOOLS!"

"Oh fuck my life."

"YOU THINK MERASMUS NEEDS SAVING? WELL LET ME TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WRONG!"

Medic looked up at Merasmus' floating figure angrily, as everypony else took a few large steps backwards. Medic narrowed his eyes, and pulled Merasmsu to the ground with his magic.

"Wunderbar! Great. Now zat you're here, ve can end zis utter bullshit and go home!"

"WHO SAYS THAT MERASMUS WILL HELP YOU?!"

"I do. Call off zese bugs before I gouge your eyes out vis my bare hooves."

"MERASMUS... CANNOT CALL OF THE BUG ARMY. ONLY THE SHADOW MARE CAN."

"That's right!" The ponies all looked up into the sky as the shadow mare made herself visible, long black mane floating in the breeze. "And there isn't anything you can do to stop me! I'm already gaining control over the elements of harmony... It's too late! Too late for even you, the nine crazed killers, to do anything abou-"

"NEIN. I am DONE vis zis SCHEISSE."

Although made of shadows, it was apparent that the was surprised at Medic's sudden outburst. The rest of the ponies were as well, staring blankly at the doctor, once again stepping backwards to avoid whatever fury might become of it.

"Ve just spent ze LONGEST time fighting an army of mechanical nightmares in ze freezing cold, JUST ze nine of us. And zen, ve sat down, for all of FIVE MINUTES. I vanted to take vhat I earned, move to ze country somevhere, and ENJOY VHAT I HAD LEFT OF MY LIFE. BUT NOOOO VE JUST HAD TO BE VHISKED AVAY TO PONYLAND BECAUSE YOU AND MERASMUS FELT LIKE BEING DICKS ABOUT ZE ENTIRE SITUATION. SO ZEN ZE COLORFUL MINI HORSES TURNED US INTO HORSES BECAUSE ZEY COULDN'T SOLVE ZIS SCHEISSE ZEMSELVES. AND ZEN YOU TORTURED ME BECAUSE I VAS UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ZE ONLY ONE VITH BOTH VINGS AND A HORN BECAUSE VHERE I COME FROM I'VE BROUGHT PEOPLE BACK FROM ZE DEAD AND ZAT MAKES ME A GOD OR SOMEZING. AND NOW, AFTER VE HAVE BEEN MOWING DOWN ZE ARMY YOU SENT AT US, YOU COME DOWN HERE AND SAY IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE?"

Medic growled like some kind of rabid animal, spreading his legs further apart and spreading out his wings in some kind of attack position.

"IF ONE MORE 'DEUS EX MACHINA' VILLAIN COMES OUT HERE AND TELLS ME ZAT VE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO SOLVE SOME OZER BULLSHIT QUVEST I'M GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF IN ZE HEAD. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO JUST VANT TO SIT DOWN AND RELAX, ZEN GO THROUGH ZIS?!'

Heavy grunted and placed a hoof on Medic's shoulder, muttering something about calming down. Scout smirked, noticing how their cutie marks were ALL glowing. He floated up to the shadowy mare and said calmly, "You know, Medic ain't the only one that likes them Deus whatevers." The mare raised an eyebrow at Scout, who dropped back down to the ground, whispered something to Miss Pauling, and then stepped back to the group of Mercenaries. Miss Pauling nodded and motioned for the other ponies to move back as she looked up at the mare.

"Miss Shadow mare, I know what you're trying to do here, really I do, but it's not going to work." Miss Pauling gestured behind her, at the nine mercenaries who know stood chests puffed out, heads high. "These nine warriors have come a far distance to help the pacifist ponies of Equestria with the aggressive type of magic from our world. We didn't think it would be possible at first, but something happened that changed our mind. Soldier," She pointed out Soldier, who took a single step forward. "has something about him that makes him unique to the others. Whether it be a severe concussion or a severed hand, he's always pushed through. That's why, by some miracle of pony magic nature, he's been given the element of Determination."

Small red shards that resembled bullets began to circle around Soldier's chest, as Miss Pauling brought up Scout.

"The fastest runner on the team, and an impressive athlete, Scout is always at the front of the lines calling out dangers and alerting his teammates of threats. Scout is the element of Vigilance."

Bullet shards of a lighter red circled Scout's face, which scrunched at the thought of all this weird pony junk.

Miss Pauling grinned and singled out Pyro, who pulled off her mask for the occasion.

"Pyro, who we only discovered the true identity of a few days ago, has been nothing but positive throughout all our years of war. She bounds around, albeit while spraying fire, she keeps a bounce in her step and a smile on her face. She's passionate and upbeat. Pyro is the element of
Spirit."

Shards darker than Scout's but brighter than Soldier's circled around her midsection.

"Next is Heavy, a real human wall. He's tough and never backs down from gunfire. He's willing to stand in front of us to keep us safe, taking every hit for himself. He's immovable and puts all his heart into his opinions. Heavy is the element of Resistance."

Heavy only grunted as red shards darker than Soldier's floated around his stomach.

"Then we have Medic. Despite some... issues... Medic is able to bring the gift of invincibility. He heals our wounds and can revive us even after death. Medic has capabilities that we can only star to imagine, and that's why he's the element of power."

Medic sighed as shards lighter than Soldier's circled above his head.

"Engie, the hard hatted Texan of the team, builds teleporters, dispensers, and sentry guns to aid his team in battle. Without them, we wouldn't make it to the right places in time, and would run out of ammunition before the round ends. I am happy to announce that Engineer is the element of Support."

Dark red shards swirld around Engie's neck as he let out a quiet, "Ain't nothin'.."

"Next we have Sniper, who can't be swayed from his position for anything. His scopes are polished, his perch is organized, and he does his job without any mistakes. He doesn't let emotions get in the way of his job. Sniper is the element of professionalism."

Sniper only nodded and tipped his akubra hat as lighter red shards circled around his front hooves.

"Spy, our silent moving Frenchman, cloaks himself on the battlefield and waits like a silent predator for the perfect time to strike. His job has little room for mistake and he plays the part to perfection. Spy is the element of Patience."

"Naturally." Spy looked back as the colorful shards bagan to circle his wings.

"And finally we have Demoman. His job is dangerous, exciting, and deadly. Demoman carries around live explosives with him wherever he goes, and braves the fact that they could go off at any minute. Demoman is the element of courage."

Demo belched and laughed while the shards circled his hindlegs.

"But none of these elements would work properly without my own, the element of Leadership. I give these guys assignments and keep track of the things that no one else would want to. All together, we posess the elements of War."

The floating shards turned into necklaces, that clasped themselves around the team's necks, except for Miss Pauling who was given a crown. A massive beam of multicolored red light blasted itself at the shadowy mare, creating a massive explosion that blinded everything alive around the entire planet.

When they opened their eyes, everything was... back to normal. The damage had fixed itself, and the sky had returned to its regular blue glory. The mercenaries looked around, unsure of what to do next. Merasmus had decided to run off like a coward, most likely back to their regular world. The team looked down at their necklaces, and felt a sense of happiness upon realizing that they resembled their cutiemarks.

"So... ve are done here, correct....?"

Princess Celestia looked up at the sky, then around Ponyville.

"Well I guess so... It seems like the fight is over, and the shadowy mare was sucessfully defeated..."

"So ve can go home, and never come back, correct?"

"I... I would think so... But we must throw some kind of celebration for you all, we really ower a lot to y-"

Medic stole Spy's revolver, then shot himself in the head. The regular ponies gasped, but the remaining mercenaries sighed. Spy stole his gun back and explained slowly,

"He'll respawn back home. We appreciate the gesture, but I believe we will have to decline. Heavy and Engie will take care of removing our weaponry, and we will destroy the teleporter for good. If you ever need us again and want to summon us back, feel free to kill yourselves."

Spy smirked and put a cigarette in his mouth. As he walked away, Scout rushed around, bouncing up and down.

"Aw man I didn't even know I could GET any faster! Ponyland ain't too bad 'cept for all the annoyin' colors..."

"And lack of thumbs."

"That too."

After a while of slowly returning their stockpile of weapons, Engineer was the only one left in Equestria as the rest of the mercs had crossed back through to their usual home. He took a look around, and sighed. It was actually a lovely place. He then grinned at the ponies still around him and said,

"You still offerin' a party?"

Author's Note:

What even was this chapter.

The last chapter, is what it was, unless someone wants more, or has any ideas, because this is basically it.

Comments

[Kpba32]

I imagine the greatest ho down ever

[Hexan Tronic]

I liked it, think you could make a sequel where the ponies must go to the TF2 world instead?

[Carnival]

7357917 imagine that

precious little ponies in their dangerous human world

I'll do it and it'll be better than this one

[Hexan Tronic]

7358255 It was just a thought I had while typing the comment

[Carnival]

7402389 Wh oPS

[Khiten]

Best fic ever!!!!

[Khiten]

For smissmis I wished for a mlp tf2 fic I'm lucky

[Khiten]

good idea !
7357917
Ist heavy a proved

[Carnival]

7664045 Yeah

[Dr_Tornado]

Good story!

[Radioactive Dragon]

7746790 you dont know

[Retro_]

sooooooo... engi stayed there then?

[Mythril_Miner]

Oh. My gods. a tf2 fic? Gotta read this