Team Friendship 2

by Carnival

MEDIC!

"Did you happen to find anyzing while up zere, Soldier?"

"I FOUND PLENTY OF THINGS, FROG LEGS."

Spy rolled his eyes, used to Soldier's comments at this point. "Care to... elaborate?"

"I FOUND CLOUDS, MANY CLOUDS. AT ONE POINT MEDIC FLEW RIGHT PAST ME AND I SAID HELLO."

"Oh Merde..."

~~~

Medic sat up, ears twitching.

"Heavy, stop. Did you hear zat?"

"Da."

"Vhy vould a female be calling my name?"

"It is Pyro. Pyro is female."

"Vhat?? Since vhen???"

"Since always."

Medic frowned, sliding off of his companion's back. He heaved up his medigun, and tugged at his Medic's jacket. "Vell I must go find him... I mean... her... zen. Promise me you'll stay in zis spot..."

Heavy snorted, and turned to sit down.

"Heavy will not move."

"Thank you mein freund! Now, I think I know how to vork zese zings..." Medic gave his large wings a quick flap, before taking off into the air shakily but quickly. He nodded to heavy and then took off. As he was flying, he could have sworn that Soldier blasted right past him... But he might have just been seeing things like he was earlier in the forest.

Medic scanned the scene, watching all of the ponies bustling around below him. He looked for the Medic's marker, before finally spotting it at the top of a tree. Pyro was clinging to it for dear life after having toppled over from screaming so loudly.

"Frau Pyro!"

Medic hovered in front of her, and aimed his medigun at her.

"It is good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too, Doctor! I think I'm the only one left alone at this point... The lack of screaming and explosions just made me think that no one else was left alone! I know Demo is pretty close by though...."

Before Medic could respond, more screeches of his name rang out. It looks like Pyro started some annoying chain reaction.

The ponies who had gathered back to Princess Celestia stared at the RED team ponies who were now screaming repeatedly for the Medic.

"How is this going to help...?"

Spy huffed and turned to face them as Soldier continued to scream. "We had forgotten that ze Medic has some strange abilities. He can see us when we call for ze Medic."

Twilight blinked slowly, trying to understand how that was possible.

"He... can..? How??"

"Well, we have no idea. Ze Medic is very... very strange."

"Oh... well... I kind of want to look into that a bit more... Wait, is that him up there?" Twilight gestured to the sky at the distant pony who was zipping around up above.

Spy tilted his head, and squinted his eyes.

"I believe so. Strange, I assumed that he would be a unicorn pony, but I guess he's a pegasus... Probably because of his doves."

"He has doves?" Fluttershy finally spoke up to the RED ponies for the first time. She was genuinely interested in the fact that the Medic owned doves.

"Oui, mon cheri. His favorite is named Archimedes, named after a famous philosopher. Ze Medic is a strange character."

"KOMM HER!"

"He's close. I'll get him down here, don't worry."

Spy lifted his gun and shot at Medic, who let out a scream and went spiraling downwards.

"DID Y'ALL JUST GO AND SHOOT HIM?!"

"He will be fine. Trust me."

Spy gave them a sly grin and trotted away to the Medic's landing sight. Surprisingly, he wasn't the first one there. Heavy was on the scene, already having lifted him onto his back.

"Spy shot Medic?"

"Non."

"Very well. Heavy is glad to see Spy." The large stallion walked towards Spy, with Medic on his back.

"Follow me, mon large friend. Zere are others waiting for us. Ze Medic heals quickly and will be fine, you know this. I'll explain our situation along ze way. Ze ozers can look for our teammates." Spy lead the two back to the group of ponies, who all stared up at the massive wall of a stallion in front of them.

"May I present to you ladies ze Heavy and ze Medic."

The ponies exchanged confused glances, unable to see Medic. That was until, he rolled off of Heavy's back and started rambling in German and then English.

"I svear zis colorful vorld is going to give me some kind of brain anurism. Soldier, ze Engineer's nest is zat way. I need to go back and grab Pyro and zen Spy I assume already found Demo but he's lost in ze woods again in a ditch over zat way and I think I saw Ms. Pauling but zat could just be me losing my marbles again oh scheisse zis is frustrating!!!"

Spy placed a hoof on Medic's shoulder. "Take a deep breath and zen tell us where we need to go."

Medic did so, and gave the team details about where to find everypony. Before he could take off again, Heavy blocked his path with his body.

"Medic stays here."

Medic glared up at his giant friend, not exactly happy about being treated as a helpless child. "I-"

"Medic. Stays. Here."

Heavy looked down at Celestia, as he was about an inch taller than her. "The Medic stays here."

Medic huffed and kicked his medigun to the side as his teammates departed. Did they not TRUST him or something?! SURE, the one who kept all of the bumbling idiots alive can't handle himself in a world full of magical pony pr-

"...How?"

Medic paused and took the time to examine the ponies behind him.

"..How vhat?"

"How are you... an alicorn...? It should be impossible... I don't understand, you CAN'T be an alicorn!"

"I assure you I am, Fräulein purple pony. I have ze vings, and a horn. I cannot tell you vhy. I have many ideas, but I really can't tell you. Trust me on zis one."

Twilight sighed and scowled at Medic, not appreciating his grumpy attitude. "Can you at least tell me what language you're speaking and where your accent comes from? I don't think I've ever heard it around here before..."

"Deutschland."

"....Deutschland??? Where's that??"

"It means Germany. It's a country where we come from."

"Your team must be very diverse, I don't think any of you sound the same.."

"Ve are. Most of us come from the slums and disgusting neighborhoods, except for Sniper, who actually came from ze lost city of New Zealand, ze utopia under ze vater."

Twilight made a mental note of all of the things the Medic said, genuinely very interested.

"Oh, Princess Celestia? Where will they all stay until we can track down the rogue alicorn?"

Celestia thought for a moment, then looked down at the six ponies expectantly.

"I hate to ask this of you so suddenly, but do you suppose you six can make room for them at your homes? I would keep them in our castle but please understand that I do not want to endanger the artifacts and timeless books stored there. We don't want them all in a single place either just in case the rogue Alicorn decides to attack... Would you six be so kind as to allow them to stay with you, if you can take them?"

The ponies eyed each other, then the Medic, not wanting to say something to accidentally offend him. They really didn't want the RED team in their homes, but they figured now that they didn't exactly have a choice.

"Medic can... stay with me," Twilight offered. She was curious about him, and just wanted to talk to him about their world. Medic eyed her weirdly, wondering why the one he just bluntly ignored wanted him in her home. He was already sedcued by ONE crazy female, he didn't need another one.

"The Heavy can fit in the barn, probably. Ah can maybe fit another 'un in there."

"Take ze Engineer as vell. Trust me on zis one. Someone like you vill love his company. Actually, let me see... pink pony, you should take ze pyro. White pony, take ze Spy and ze Sniper. Lesbian horse, take ze scout, you're just like him. Shy butter horse, take ze Soldier and Demo. Find zem a very... VERY open area... I'm judging off of appearances here so don't blame me if all horses aren't stereotypical."

Nopony really understood what the Medic meant by this, but they noted who they were to take home. Rarity was happy that she got to take the Spy, but she knew nothing about Sniper.

After a long, agonizing period of waiting, the RED team was finally put together. All except for two ponies: Spy and Demo.

"Oh.. Miss Pauling has decided to join us, has she? Vell, it is very nice to see you. Zese are ze ponies zat ve vill be staying vith. Also, has anyvone seen Spy and Demo? Zey should have been back by now..."

"We are... right here... Oof..."

Spy came forward, with Demo on his back. "Someone please help me... zis idiot weighs more than he looks!"

"Just bring him forward and drop him. Is he asleep? Drunk?"

"Dead, actually."

Spy heaved Demoman onto the ground, and he lay there, unmoving. The seven other ponies gasped, clasping their hooves across their mouths. They were also shocked to see that the RED team's expressions were that of inconvenience rather than sorrow.

"Why aren't y'all cryin?! He's died for Celestia's sake!"

"Ja, ve are avare."

"THEN WHY DO Y'ALL LOOK ANGRY?! HE COULDN'T HELP DYIN', BUT HERE YA ARE, ACTIN' LIKE IT AIN'T A BIG DEAL. DEATH IS A SERIOUS THING."

"Not vere ve come from." Medic bounced his medigun to the ground and lifted it with his magic. "I thought ve vere DONE vith dying, Dummkopf...."

He aimed the gun at Demo's body, and shot the energy beam at him. Demo's eyes snapped open, and he let out a massive belch.

"AYE. Sorreh lads, I dunnae know how I jus' died for a minute there... What I miss?"

The ponies were once again in utter shock. But he was just... How???

"Oh lordeh ah must 'ave died an gone ta hell!"

"You are very alive, Demo."

Medic turned away and added quietly, "Sadly."

Comments

[Robot Sparky]

Can't breath! In my final words i say continue on with this great story *funeral music starts playing for a minute then ends suddenly* ah, who am kidding i not really dead, though i, wait don't think that! Bad things will happen, in any case continue on with this death by laughter inducing story!

[Radioactive Dragon]

THE CHAIN REACTION WILL MAKE MEDICS AROUND THE WORLD SCREAM HELP ME

[Moop Moop]

Yay New Zealand isn't a slum and disgusting country! Thank you.

[The Old Khajiit]

MMMMMMEEEEEEDDDDDIIIIICCCCC!!!!!

[the koopanater]

things you must remember in TF2
1. always spare the friendlies
2. spam the Dispenser command
3. MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCC