Team Friendship 2

by Carnival

Far and Wide

Medic stretched out, opening his eyes slowly.

"Vierd... why does everything look so much bigger?"

He slowly tried to stand, but immediately regretted his decision upon falling flat on his face.

"Vhat...?"

He stared down at his limbs, and nearly screamed. Stubs. His legs and arms, stubs. He noticed first that he had a tail. Then the muzzle. He examined himself carefully, starting to worry. Where were his feet? His hands? He noticed that he was still in his Medic's coat and gloves. He also noticed that he still had his medigun with him. For some reason or another, the familiar weapon comforted him. He caressed the gun in his... arms...? stubs...? and began to mutter to himself quietly.

"I must be dead... zis cannot be real... but I vas ubercharged, I couldn't have died... vhat am I, anyvays...? A horse...?"

He stared at the limbs that took the place of his arms and frowned slightly.

"No... I am not a horse. I am some strange type of... pony."

Medic ran his hooves along his face before bumping into something.

"...Zere is also something protruding from mein head... mein kopf..."

He spotted a puddle about a foot away, and dared to drag himself there. His stomach was now caked in dirt from the ground, but he had sucessfully reached the puddle. Medic forced himself up, balancing on all four hooves carefully.

"Mein Gott... I have a horn... I am a unicorn... No, zis MUST be pyrovision. Zere must be a mistake! I cannot be a quardupedal! Vhy am I so colorful?! Zis is an outrage!"

Medic screeched incoherently and rolled around on the dirt, pulling his medic's coat up. He felt something strange on his back. He flipped around, and stared at whatever it was.

"Wings!! I have wings!! Vhat is zis craziness? Zere is a red cross on my ass! Was frische Hölle ist das?!"

The Medic whined and burried his face in the ground.

"I am a man of science!! Yet here I am, on the ground, as a pony, crying. Zis is perhaps ze worst day of my life, and I have fought massive robot armies in arctic temperatures!"

Only a mile away, the Heavy had already woken up from his sleep and assessed the situation in a list.

"One. Heavy is pony. Two. Medic is missing."

The large brute quickly got used to his new legs and trudged on, in the opposite direction of Medic.

"Heavy must find his Medic. Heavy will not stop searching until he has found his medic."

The large earth stallion snorted before picking up his pace slightly. Heavy couldn't move fast, but he would not stop moving until he had found Medic.

In a distant city, the Scout awoke under a bridge. He muttered swear words to himself while sitting up.

"I swear, if that little purple cloud took me somewhere dangerous I'll..."

He stopped and stared down at himself.

"I... I am a horse. I am a winged horse."

He stood, balancing himself on his hooves.

"Alright, this is hell. I've died and gone to hell."

The other five had similar reactions, but they were even further away. The Spy had more of an accepting reaction, while the pyro was just generally ecstatic.

The Medic decided that the best course of action was to roll over to the side of the road and cry. Whatever strength and dignity he had left was frozen in the cold back at the battlefield. Medic was tired, alone, hungry, and in a body he didn't understand. He just wanted to give up, but no matter how hungry and tired he was, it felt as if his sould was just... stuck in his body. It couldn't leave.

He would have been like that forever possibly, until a passing pony in a wagon saw him there on the ground.

"Uh.... sir? Sir are you alright??"

The Medic glanced at the pony with the wagon. She looked friendly enough.

"Nein. I am not alright. I am not sure vhat is happening. I am lost, and I am tired. My teammates are probably somewhere else in zis godforsaken land, and I have no way of finding zem."

The pony tilted her head to the side, extremely confused.

"Um... well sir, if you're lost, I think I know a pony who can help you!"

"Really? Zat vould be nice."

"Sure! Come on, I'll take you to her!"

Medic pulled himself up and tried to walk, but immediately fell over once more.

"I am unable to valk."

"Oh... That's okay, here, you can ride in the wagon!"

The pony helped Medic climb into the back of her small travelling wagon, and gave her a warm smile. "Thank you, miss."

"Don't mention it! My name is Junebug, what's yours?"

"My name? My name is Medic. Not actually, but zat is what I am called."

"Oh, no wonder your cutie mark is a cross then!"

"My... vhat?"

Junebug stopped and stared at him, wide eyed.

"You... don't know what a cutie mark is?"

Medic decided that he didn't want to make a show of himself and explain everything to this stranger.

"No, I am just pulling your leg."

The mare giggled and started pulling.

"Oh, alright!"

Meanwhile, Scout had already taken to the skies. He felt like a natural born flyer, zipping over the colorful buildings with a grin. He sped around in circles for a bit, then started nose-diving.

"Hey, you!"

Scout halted and searched for the voice. He spotted a rainbow-maned pony staring at him, from a cloud. Alright, another winged horse. Scout glided over to her, frowning.

"Hey what's up?"

"You seem pretty fast, wanna race?"

He smirked and tipped his hat back.

"You want to race me? There's no compitation. Sorry missy, you might want to race someone else your own speed."

Rainbow glared at him, and spread her wings out wider.

"Missy? I'm no missy! I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria, bub!"

Scout crossed his hooved and grinned at her.

"Don't think so. You can't be faster than me."

"Wanna bet?!"

"Yeah! Maybe I do!"

Rainbow launched up from the cloud, glaring.

"Get ready to eat dust, loud mouth!"

Scout's grin widened, and he started flapping his wings.

"Where to?"

"How about... Canterlot Castle?" She pointed a hoof towards the magnificent structurein the distance. Scout nodded, and lowered his hat.

"You got it, pride parade!"

"On your mark, get set, GO!"

Right after she finished, Scout was miles ahead of her. After all, it was his JOB to be the fastest. This world shouldn't be any different from his own. He laughed triumphantly, before crashing down into a strange garden. He screeched and held onto his hat, which miraculously stayed on his head while flying. Scout braced himself for impact, and he felt the Earth curve around him as he dug into the ground.

He heard something move over to him. Expecting it to be Rainbow Dash, he looked up. Instead, he was staring at the helmeted face of a stallion.

"SCOUT! YOU MISERABLE FOOL, YOU RUINED THE DAISIES!"

Scout stared at Soldier, coughing dirt out of his mouth.

"SOLLY?! What are you doing here?!"

"I AM LIVING HERE TEMPORARILY! WE'RE HERE TO FIGHT MAGIC!"

Scout groaned and sat up, only now noticing the crowd of ponies surrounding the two of them. Scout was the smallest out of all of them, but only by a little.

"Who are the babes, Solly?"

"Excuse me? Did y'all just call us babes?!"

Scout rubbed his eyes and stared at the country accented one.

"Engie...??"

"...Pardon?"

Pinkie giggled and bounced up and down while saying,

"He called us babes!"

Scout frowned at the ponies.

"You're all... familiar..."

Soldier nodded, and slapped Scouts back with his hoof.

"I MADE THE SAME MISTAKE, SCOUT! THESE ARE NOT OUR TEAMMATES! OUR REGULR ONES, ANYWAYS! THEY ARE HELPING US FIGHT THE MAGIC!"

"Great, yeah, great. Why does the purple one have wings AND a horn? That ain't fair."

Twilight coughed awkwardly and explained to him slowly the alicorn rank process.

"Ponies here who accomplish great things are awarded Alicorn titles."

"Ah, mkay. Would beating the pride parade be considered a great thing?"

"Um... what?"

"Rainbow lesbian horse. I beat her in a race. Is that great."

"Wait...you beat RAINBOW DASH in a RACE??"

Scout laughed.

"Heck yeah I did!"

"He really is the fastes then... Well, we're glad you're here. We need your other seven companions."

"Oh.. Since Solly is here, that means we need... Pyro, Engie, Demo, Heavy, Snipes, Frenchie, and the Doc."

"THERE IS ONLY WAY TO LURE OUT THE FIREBUG!"

The ponies waited for him to continue his statement. When he didn't, Rarity asked,

"And what would that way be, darling?"

"A BONFIRE!"

"A... bonfire? I'm not sure I understand, darling..."

Scout sighed and shoved Soldier a bit with his pony elbow. He trotted over to a stone bench and sat down.

"Find a large open area with no plant life. Gather a mountain of wood, then ignite it. Then we'll find the pyro."

"How in tarnation is that gonna lure out Pyro?"

"Oh trust me, you'll see."

~~~

"Well shoot Sniper, it looks like we're all alone out here!"

"Yeah, and we're ponies."

"But hey, we still got our stuff! I can set up a dispenser, we'll be just fine."

"Should we start building a shelter then, mate?"

"Yep. This hollow tree should do fine. I can whip us up a digger, and we'll have our own little burrow. Sound good?"

"I like it. I'm just glad out of all the people I could have been stuck with, it's you. Someone who doesn't annoy me, and knows how to build."

Engie laughed, and started digging at the ground to find some rocks.

"Ditto."

Sniper stared up at the large tree and whistled, tipping his hat back.

"Well, she is a beauty. I'd like to spend time sitting up in some of those branches with my rifle. Nice view."

"And I'll spend my time inside crafting trinkets and finding out some way to get us home."

"Sounds like a plan, truckie."

Engineer pulled off his glove, and jammed it to the tree with his wrench.

"Let's go find a running river, partner. Then we'll come back here and sort out our mess. I can hear one now, it can't be too far away."

"Aight, mate."

The unicorns to each other and grinned, walking off towards the sound of rushing water. Junebug happily rounded the corner with her wagon. Medic had been riding with her for quite a while now, and they were fairly close to a place called Ponyville. He found the name absurd and ridiculous, but didn't think that expressing his opinion on her home town out loud would be appropriate, considering she pulled him along all this way.

"So, where are you from?"

The ride had been silent until now, when Junebug decided it was time for some chatting.

Medic racked his head for a decent answer, thinking of whatever he could right then and there...

"Oh, I can't remember... I seem to have lost a bit of my memory."

"Oh no!! Is that why you were laying on the side of the road, lost?"

"Precisely..."

"Then we definitely have to get you to that pony I mentioned earlier, right away! Her name is Twilight Sparkle, she's an alicorn princess pony!"

"Alicorn...?"

Junebug nodded, still grinning.

"I guess you forgot what they are, too? Alicorns are ponies who have both wings and a horn. They're the royalty of our land!"

"Oh, where do zay come from from zen??"

"Alicorn ponies are made when a unicorn, earth pony, or pegasus does something so incredible that they earn the alicorn title. Princess Twilight made a huge breakthrough in magic, and earned her wings! Isn't that fascinating?"

Medic stared down at his own wings, carefully hidden under his medic's coat.

"Ja... very interesting..."

Soldier and Scout entertained their new friends and the princesses with war stories. Some of them were slightly exaggerated.

"Oh heck yeah. This one time, I nearly got blown to chunks when this enemy soldier fired at me. But I drank this crazy soda, called Bonk, and it made me invulnerable for about a minute!"

"That sounds very interesting, Scout... do you have the recipe for such a drink?"

"As a matter of fact, I have the can."

Scout reaches down into his saddlebag with his mouth, and produces a can of cherry fission BONK atomic punch. "This is it, right here. This little can can go a long way. I only drink a little at a time, so it lasts me a whole battle. Besides, the only thing I need it for is sneaking past sentries and the enemy Heavy. This stuff tastes like pure energy."

"You say... you are invulnerable after you drink this?"

"For a little, yeah."

"If we could somehow... make more of your atomic punch, then we could use it to fight against the monsters coming from this strange magic."

"SCOUT HATES IT WHEN WE TAKE HIS DRINK!"

"Well yeah, but only if you take it from the SAME CAN!"

"YOU ARE SCARED OF THE GERMS, SISTER."

"I just don't wanna catch your crazy, Solly."

Bathed in harsh sunlight, Pyro forced her eyes open(ayyyy female pyro). She noticed that she was somewhere that looked as if it were literally the end of the earth, with the rock dropping almost completely vertical down at a 90 degree angle. She rubbed her head in thought, and then noticed her hooves. She squealed happily, her voice coming out as a muffled wail. Ah, she was still wearing her mask. Good.

She patted her head, and felt the horn there. Yes! Yes! So many things about this situation were yes!

She then saw a column of magnificent color reach into the sky, like the arm of a damned soul grasping towards the lights of the heavens for salvation. She found her mouth watering, wanting desperately to touch and dance with that beautiful column of color. She promised herself that she would make it there soon, and thus began her journey towards the great swirling storm of colors.

Demo was not having the best of luck. He had only two minutes to figure out how his pony body worked. Then, he was forced to run from a pack of angry looking wood dogs. He was currently hidden in a tree, dangling as the dogs growled and snapped at his hind legs.

"Oh, it's time to show ye how we do it in Scottland!!"

Demo reached into his bag for his grenade launcher, and dragged the weapon out with his teeth. Demo passed it to his tail and yelled,

"THEY'LL GLUE YE BACK TOGETHER IN HELL!!"

He laughed like a crazed lunatic as he was showered in singed twigs. He dropped to the ground, and flung off his bag.

"Sure as hell wasn't gonna die before ah got another bottle o' Scrumpy."

Comments

[Homerus007]

Fuckin amazing

[Carnival]

7219822 Thaaank

[Brony For life 7]

This made me laugh so hard, can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the good work!

[Late_Night]

the lack of line breaks is making the pacing feel twice as fast as it already is