This is exactly like every other human-in-Equestria story ever. No originality whatsoever here.

6031317 Any constructive criticism or something of value?

6031317 I think it is meant to be

It was an exceptionally large woman with dark violent skin wearing an even darker dress.

Should be "violet".

Excellent I look forward to more

Only reason I clicked on this was because My name actually is Thomas. But now I'm glad I read it.

the Princess from the show you had enjoyed for several years now

Not that you're wrong, but you seem to have slipped into 2nd-person here.

6031317 to be fair, with the hundred if not thousands of HIE fic out there its hard to come up with an orginal one thats good.

I like it so far can't wai't to see whats next.

I like it nice start

So im trying to figure out how hes a concubine being a guy since concubines are females to give birth

You say the world is anthro, but you keep calling Luna a woman, not a mare. And your description, as well as calling her a woman, makes me feel this story is more just humanized sadly. I could definitely get behind an Equestria where the anthro ponies are nude almost all the time.

6277857 *snort* *giggle*

Just exactly how old is Thomas? I'd be creeped out if he was below 21. Please tell me he's 21.

I'm just gonna imagine he looks like...um...*checks the internet for hot-looking guys*...let's just go with Adam Levine, how's that sound?

i2.esmas.com/galerias/fotos/2012/11/_155923919-3ab7a6b4-8c6e-1030-91a3-0019b9d5c8df.jpg

Edit: *Reads Chapter Two* So she had sex with Thomas. Please tell me he looks like Adam Levine...it'd be weird he didn't. The tattoos aren't necessary though.

6031317 Lets be honest mate not many original stories out their when it comes to human on anthro. Oh human goes to equestria suddenly all ponies want his D.

6398368 Yes and given she is anthro so the dude calling her a women comes from the main characters point of view. he sees her as a women so that is why Luna is referred to as a women. Though both can be used when writing anthro.

I feel a big fault in the story so far is that you do not use enough detail in parts where it is required and does not flow as naturally as a story should. It comes across as bland in certain points and does not seem to flow as well as it could.

also antrhos

Might want to fix that there

7009068 Wow. Hard to believe you're the first to catch this. Congrats.

He looked out the open window and saw the moon slowly rising in the evening sky.

Then Tomas’ eyes fell on the black splotch on her exposed thigh which also held a crescent moon.

Thomas'

7892966 Congratulations on your catch.

Meh I got nothing on to the next chapter

7892966
7893016
He turned Hispanic for a second there.

9744220
"Wait. Where did you get that strange, comically large, pointed hat? And those noisy sticks? You didn't have those a moment ago."

"Your guess is as good as mine, princess.
... ... arriba."

Great opening and like the way you are telling the story

11816955
It's kinda wild to see people still discovering this story. Enjoy the ride, and thanks.