The most unusual end to a story by far

No offense but I hated when their's more than one human also I believe there should be less rapeish scenes also there was no clop for like 5 chapters but mostly the human thing kinda made me not want to read this.

4086078
That's fine, everyone has there own preferences, I'm just glad you at least gave it a try

Thanks for understanding

no no no noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
not the end please no I need more of this story please

More more more!!!!

If i may recommend something,Get an editor who isn't a friend of yours,Preferably as cynical as possible.The harsher the editor/pre-reader,The more feedback you get from them,And the more flaws get pointed out and fixed

4107060
and they made his daughter cry

That ending.... it just screams, "dafuq?"

4153676 I didnt just realize this, I just restated it

(/ ^-^ )/

4154501
4149093
4150778

4155698 Dusts myself off. Is that it? Do you have something a little stronger maybe?

4156006 Dude I was joking? This is good chill

This is a great story I hope there is a part two to this. Thank you for the story.

4165760
Well, I thank you for at least giving it a shot

Well, to be honest, this story got a lot better recently. DRAKALIAN ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE!! YAY!!

Anyhoo, I'm looking forward to part two of this story, cus now the main character is a badass (sort of), and there's a second badass in the mix, so I'm gonna guess that part two will have copious amounts of Badassery, bitches and blades (sorry, I had to put bitches in there. I don't know why, so don't ask).

4317042 true dat...

gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Neil-Patrick-Harris-Gun-to-Head.gif

4396283 whyyyyyyyy

4396392
4396392 That's one thing that Drak is adressing with a rewrite of this story, he's going to tame things down and deal with the issues that are currently messing this story up.

4502903
well im glad you saw it but sadly I rushed into the makings of it and well I didn't think about the true lore of mlp I forgot about Luna's banishment and the fact that even after that jack would be to young for the story to be rated mature so I gave up and now I am at a lost for inspiration but if you have any suggestions then just comment on my page in the mean time im just an ex short lived author

Ok I've read a few chapters, and its way to rushed. It only took what, 7 chapters, for him to be introduced to all the mane 6, have 2 of them fall in love with him, even though they don't know his name, he likes and dislikes. Well, apart from crowds and etc. He's a different species, (they might not care, but a human would, seeing as ponies here are not intelligent race. Well, to a curtain point) He's more timid than fluttershy, with is just ridiculous, I'm "timid" but come on. And yet he would face up to a manticore because he doesn't like the innocent being harmed. And he got over his injury pretty quick don't you think. And he supposed to to remember his name and etc, yet he knows, he's a human, how to use two curtain weapons or tools, that he's wearing his favourite hoody, its just too convenient. And he beat a manticore while, injured like it was nothing, I don't know about you, but Im pretty sure even the most healthy and strongest humans today would struggle to take on a lion, never mind a manticore.

Some advice though, use paragraphs, and either don't put two different speeches of two different characters in the same sentence or at the very least, make it more known who is talking. And some more advice, pace it out more and try to make take it to the next level, if you can.

To be honest theres very little I like in this story. However, if you just pushed your self more, maybe I would. Sorry but Im not fav'ing or like this story for those reasons. Its take something special for me to click the dislike, because i rather give, positive contrastive or positive destructive review. But on this occasion, I think I will dislike the story. Sorry but until, its improved, its staying that way. Other than that, have a nice day or night or what ever else, when you read this.

4531980
wow...well, even though you disliked it, I'm still happy for your rather length explanation. And about the story, I am working on the rewrite of it, making the pacing better and the character a bit more believable. Hopefully it will be more to your liking as well.

4532225 Its good to see you can take criticism. And I look forward to it :)

I'm pretty sure that you know that a lot of people have a love-hate relationship with this story, same goes for me. Although I have only read up to chapter 10 so far one thing really stuck out to me. They are in at least the second day he's been in Equestria and he's already had sex with both AJ and Flutters. That is really my biggest issue, any other issues are just minor annoyances to me.

Keep doing what you doing and you'll do great man!

so what are you plane for the second gateway of the eye?

4825838
It is already in progress

4829091 i was talking about tasting anything with THROAT. Throat don't have any taste buds iirc.

4839833 damm gross.

5163294 They repeatedly used the word tribe in the show, that the canon and the truth. differences in race are demonstrated most notably by difficulties in cross breading, when there is no difficulty then you're members of the same race. Biology not opinions is the sole determining factor here. The biology says they are all the same race, and guess so are humans.

Coming from a different place does not make a different race, that is not supported by evidence.

5255895
Twi? That was Daring who was talking.

5256327

Heh, indeed. I edited my initial post a felt dozen times and forgot to adjust the quotes.
The remark I'm talking about was something along the lines of "I thought you normally had more patience like this" or something similar.
(too lazy to search right now)

I have to say that I like the story. I think you rush it at the beginning with all the ponys falling in love with him, but I steel enjoy it. I can see that you are doing a rewrite of this story I have not read yet but I will in time, but I like to know what happens next? We have two humans now in Equestria now and there are a lot of villains that you can use for new storys, like Queen Chrysalis? He has a lot of love to give the girls, wood that not temp the changeling to kidnap him or in the very leas ask for his help to save the changelings. who knows, maybe human don't git week when a changeling feed on them? He has been able to see ponys at there cor and give them a new chants to make a new beginning. Don't git me wrong I like the premiss of this story and I hope to see more of it. I do like slice of life storys. It can add so much more details to a story.

I steel hope to see the clop between Drakalian and Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkles, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia and any new mares he add to the herd and what about Silver Andrews? Is more of the ponys going to throw them self at him. It wood be fun to see how he dills with love with a pony or ponys as it may go. after all he is a warrior and wood be a grate asset to the Princesses of Equestria. I like to know if the ponys can git Pregnant by a human? Can a Alicorn git pregnant by a human? If so, Drakalian well have a lot of pregnant ponys on his hands if he keep going the way he has been. I know that he has a Herd going on but is it a binding as gitting Married? This is just sum of the questions I have.

Dragonfox

5238504
how do you kill, that which has no life?

5239296
because you see them as characters that can be real and have faces?

5347484
I wouldn't mind someone to do that for this...but if they did, it would most likely reach over 9000 (Yes, I said it, and no, I don't regret it)

5369393
I approve of this message.
(And yes, it did get out of hoof really quickly with this...my bad.)

5396746 ehh...that nasty. but yeah gay are weird. so i will stay away at fast at possible.

Epic story...but i hoped drak would get super mad, exploded in a force of purely raw magic, freeing the others in the process, and went pure badass on some of ahuizotals "soldiers".
Than have that as a "train to control that power" moment at the end.

That's what I was hoping for anyway...makes me wish I saw this before and tossed the idea.

But I'm far too late

But still awesome and faved.

4156006
Well, that was...interesting.

But seriously, I agree with what %99 of you guys were saying, and just so you know, I have started a rewrite of this story, which has the first 8 chapters out, and I think you might like it a bit more as well. This story has such improvements such as:
Drak not being such a pussy (Still has the phobia though)
No instant relationships, nor as many...I hope.
Less OOC for some characters which may or may not have been OOC to begin with.

Anyways, I hope you give the rewrite a chance, until then, thanks for at least giving this story a try.

4033449
Who ever said it was a single being, or even any being to begin with?

5511547 impressive....again please

5821297
Or a simply curious person

5821297
5821307

Naw, tech had it right, though it was more of a stupid 20 hear old with wishful thinking.

6104640

You know, if this is not to your liking (which I don't blame you, cause looking back at it I wish I could bitch slap my past self) you can always skip this and go to part one, where I redo about %95 of everything. Just saying.

6107505
A little of both

omg why did you make this guy such a pussy

with more work it could have been much better but after i got used to it i kinda liked it .... kinda

6472110

Never said it was original to begin with.

7028965 lol if only