A slightly more realistic take on the "Human in Equestria" story concept.

... For a given value of "realistic."

Okay, it's barely realistic but it is a hell of a lot of fun...

Now with an image graciously provided by Page Turner, and an audiobook version narrated by multifanficaday and if you prefer it in German, FrankyDoodle has got you covered!

And a TVTropes Page!

Last Featured: 11/26/2019! Thank you so much!

There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

As the years drew on, Spike's childish heart grew into that of a true adult, longing for the finer things in life; the finest things. He pursues his relationship with Rarity, but all does not go as planned.

Filled with anger and sorrow, Spike and Rarity fall away from one another. In his grief, Spike pursues new interests, and their friendship is in danger of never recovering.

But perhaps the truest words in life are these: you do not know what you had until you have lost it. Jealous and alone, finding no comfort in stallions she once loved, can Rarity reclaim her one chance at true love, before it is too late?

The diamond dogs are back and ready for revenge. When Rarity is kidnapped in the dead of night, Spike is the only one who can save her. Should be easy, right? Storm the castle, vanquish the villains, rescue the damsel, win her heart! But nothing is as simple as it sounds, and what should have been a simple plan spirals completely out of control. In the end, the gods themselves will enter the fray to set things right.

Whoever said true love was easy?

Spike finally decides to reveal his feelings for the pony he cares about, and nothing could possibly be better.

This isn't exactly full of a huge amount of conflict, it's mostly a sappy lovey dovey romance story for one of the cutest ships I've ever seen, because I'm a big sap and sucker.

Also if you're looking for the more... "spicy" scenes. They can be located here.

Cover art is My Little Spikey Wikey by Alexusprime, thanks to Deep Pond for pointing that out.

The erogenous 3rd edition. It's 30 percent longer, 300 percent better edited, 3000 percent more ethically dubious, and still narrated by Steven Fry.

It's that special time of the month again for the Elements of Harmony; the time when they get together for a Truth or Dare game of a more questionably pure nature. From long kept secrets, to reflecting on parties they can barely remember, their three years of friendship have changed them. For better or worse, they were still deciding on that.

This game will be different. Most likely for the worse, but that's what drinking before the sun sets can do. Or maybe them being hornier than usual. Or secretly planning each others sex lives. Or falling in love with each other. Or all four. Most likely all four.

Twilight wants to go out on her first date, but will alcohol and the raunchy advice of her friends help? Rainbow badly wishes to sedate her loins, or maybe she's looking for something more? What exactly, is Rarity planning for this night? Should they really add weed to the equation?

The Elements all have desires they haven't quite realized they have had, and a day long exchange of sex jokes and tension might lead to events that are out of their control. It was in their control once.

Our innocent little ponies seem to have sucked in too much Seth Rogen, but that's okay.

Right?...

It's Archer with ponies.