CHAPTER 51
AUTHORS NOTE: Almost Christmas, everyone! I hope y'all are ready for the Hearth Warming chapter! It's gonna rock! And don't forget to hear that teaser I made of the audio book. I bet you'll love it.
I sat in the bakery, Mr. and Mrs. Cake were busy in the back cooking, and I was watching Pinkie to make sure she didn't eat everything they made the second they turned their backs.
"Please? Just one teensie-weensie-eensie little bite?"
"Pinkie, what did the Cakes say?"
"'One little bite leads to a snack,' I know..."
I saw the day's newspaper sitting on a table nearby. I picked it up and started reading from the back to the front, a habit I picked up out of nowhere one day when I was little.
When I got to the front page, my jaw dropped. There was a picture of me... And below it...
"DJ 1NS4N1TY's identity discovered! The human who has made himself comfortable here in our world is also its newest DJ!"
"How did somepony find out? I kept it so quiet, I didn't even put my picture on albums, I never DJ outside of Ponyville... The only thing people know about me is my fashion, and even then, lots of ponies have been buying ponified versions of my hat and jacket..."
I had no idea how anypony could have found me out. Then, I looked out the window of the bakery. There was a crowd of ponies from all around, gathered at the window, staring at me.
"It's DJ 1NS4N1TY! WE LOVE YOU!" They started pounding on the glass, shouting and screaming.
"Oh horseapples. Pinkie, is there a secret way out of here?"
"Yep! You can go upstairs, and in the attic, there's a super-duper secret hatch leading to the roof!"
"Awesome... But why?"
"So we can clean off the roof easily whenever winter comes along!"
"Oh. Well, thanks Pinkie!"
I rushed up the stairs and into the attic, and sure enough, there was a string leading from the ceiling down to a pony's eye level. I yanked it, and a trap door opened, and a ladder slid down. Upon climbing it, I was on the roof. I looked over the edge, and nopony noticed me. They were intently staring into the window, waiting for me to descend the stairs.
"Morons..."
I jumped off the other end of the roof into a back alley, hovering with my sneakers to break my fall.
"OK, now I just gotta find a place to hide..."
I said that a bit too loudly. "HE'S BACK HERE!"
I saw the horde convulse on me. I was backed into a corner, and there was no way out... But the dumpster next to me. I hopped up on it, and jumped, grabbing onto the edge of the wall I was backed against.
"Not today, folks! DJ 1NS4N1TY, OUT!" I jumped over to the other side and started sprinting away. I though of AJ's orchard.
"That place is huge. They would never find me out there."
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AJ led me out to a very secluded part of the orchard.
"Yer' gonna be just fine here. Nopony's gonna be able to get t' Ya'."
"Thanks, AJ." I heard a twig break. "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?"
"Relax, sugarcube, I just stepped on a twig."
"Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid..."
"Ah' c'n see that. Well, Ya'll just stay here, wait fer' a lil' while. Ah'll be back with somethin' t' eat later."
"OK..."
AJ walked away, and I slumped over on a tree.
"Ugh... Confound these adoring fans, they drive me to seclusion."
I sat there for a good ten minutes, when I heard another twig break.
"AJ? That was quick..."
Then, I heard a few bushes rustle, and some leaves being kicked up, and I heard the snow crunching beneath hooves.
"Oh no..."
"IT'S HIM! HE'S HERE!"
"AH!" I scrambled up the tree I was sitting at.
"Come down! We love you!" It was that mare I had saved from the mugger.
"YES, AND YOU SCARE ME!"
"BUT WE'RE YOUR FANS!"
"I liked it better when y'all didn't know who I am..."
"HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY MAN!" I saw a familiar streak of cyan, and before I knew it, Dashie was standing in front of the tree, protecting me.
"And what're YOU gonna do about it?"
Dashie smiled, and flew up into the air, and started flying in circles, faster, and faster, and faster, until she was just a rainbow colored tornado. She scooped up all of the fans, and spun them about.
"AH! PUT US DOWN!"
"Not until you agree to leave Kyle alone..."
"ALRIGHT! JUST PUT US DOWN! *Mph* I think I'm gonna be sick..."
Dashie slowed to a stop, and eventually, all my crazy fans were standing around... Well, wobbling around.
I climbed down from the tree, and one of the fans approached me.
"Heh... Sorry... We just got a little-"
"Carried away, I know. But fear not, 1NS4N1TY is quite forgiving... Just go home..."
"Right! Hey, everypony! The DJ says to go home!"
They all groaned, but they left. Me and Dashie just stood there, the snow falling on our heads.
"Thanks for saving me, Dashie."
"No problem. I am the hero of Ponyville, after all."
"Yeah, and you're the greatest mare I've ever met."
"Awww... Thanks." I knew how to make her happy by now: Stroke her ego.
We hugged, and decided to go home and get out of the cold.
Thanks to paranoia, I didn't sleep a wink that night.
I only heard this in my head when they started chasing you.
83705 I heard the skyrim theme when he was being chased
83705
Yeah, the perfect music for every chase scene.
And do you know what is the best in this chapter?
Almost the same happened to Kyle in real life.
Some fan wanted to settle a tent in his lawn....
SWEET!
Lol. Quite funny
I wonder if Pinkie pie knows a secret way out of everywhere.... like out of the 4th wall.
I have a feeling Kyle shall have many stalkers..... And the freaky servant mare from The Last Mage comes to mind.... *shudder*
83705perfect music
awesome my good sir keep up the awesomeness coming
Darn fans.
Hahaha, funny but short :)
this is what I heard when he was being chaced...over and over again :3
83705
Have to admit that was the first thing that popped into my head as well when a chase was mentioned.
Oh the joy of fans. Hopefully he'll get a little peace for now. At least until Scoots decides to sneak up on him just to scare him.
Wait. How can Kyle's fans NOT recognize him when HE'S THE ONLY HUMAN IN EQUESTRIA?!
83864
I just explained it in the story! Nopony knew what DJ 1NS4N1TY looked like, except the ponies in Ponyville. They never jump me because they already spoke to me at parties and stuff. ANYPONY outside of Ponyville had NO IDEA what I looked like, because I never released photos, I never put pictures on the covers of my albums, they only knew what I wore, and there were a lot of ponies wearing ponified versions of my clothes.
Swarmed by adoring fans? I JELLY!
This has been getting progressively worse, the last few chapters are disappointing considering how well the first 40 went, I'll continue to track and read for now.
83869 A little creative brainstorming here. Make some Tragedy. Something sad. make somepony die right in front of kyle and he couldn't anything about it and.. BOOM you got more entertainment.
just a suggestion btw
84112
Hmm... Well, the issue with that, is I absolutely HATE it when stories kill off characters. I mean, I don't want the story to get boring, but I really don't feel like killing a character off. I'll think about it, but I doubt I'll do it.
84121Just make it a brony char, like me (hint hint) I would volunteer. Just have them save you or something, you thank him, then the person going for you gets him right then, like this (assassin charges, pony stops, he "falls unconscious" , you thank him, the assassin gets ur hero but u couldn't stop him, no one gets too attached, so enertainment builds and no main char is gone, hmmmmmm
I think I might know who released your identity. the only people you know outside of ponyville are princess celestia and luna. it's 99% celestia and 1% luna
my prediction on the ending. equestria can't handle a human for too long so kyle has to leave equestria before something happens.
I though of "Hard Days Night"! xD
83869
If they know what clothes he wears then they MUST know the most obvious feature of him that he's human. Word would have spread from the ponies that have seen him.
84260
No, they know the STYLE of clothes he wears. There are pony versions of the outfit worn while DJing, and for all they know, I'm just wearing a replica I had Rarity make me... And honestly, I had nopony recognize me just so I could HAVE a chapter like this, so just go along with it... OK?
LOL this is very good hurry up with next chapter
And suddenly...IM ON WINTER BREAK
READ ALL THE FANFICTION
DO ALL THE FAN ART
DRINK ALL THE COFFEE
Still awesome, rather gruesome what you did a chapter back. Snapped off the poor unicorn's horn?
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/138/a/e/YOU_MAGNIFICENT_BASTARD_by_sparkfalzar.png
"I jumped off the other end of the roof into a back alley, hovering with my to break my fall."
With your what...
i love this series XD
83705
HA!!!! Yup, that's exactly what I heard. But, after reading Ice's comment...
"Ugh... Confound these adoring fans, they drive me to seclusion."
...
83864 i know right??? its just weird that they couldnt recognize him even though he is the only human their
83732
Pinkie knows the way through the 9001st wall. right through /z/.
That was funny.
284307 It's over 9000!