CHAPTER 50
AUTHORS NOTE: Yay! Chapter 50! Thank god I have such an active imagination... And don't forget to read 'Far From The Tree' by Buckshot. Amazing story. ALLONS-Y!
"YEAH! OWNED!" I was doing something I hadn't done in a long time: Playing a video game. I had my laptop on my lap, and I was frantically pressing keys, playing quite the fast-paced game.
"Kyle? What are you doing?"
"Playing a game, Dashie. OH CRAP DON'T YOU DARE!" A loud explosion sound effect came from my laptop. "HA!"
"O...Kay then... Well, Scoots is healing up really well. She should be fine before Hearth Warming."
"Oh, thank the Goddesse- OH NO YOU FREAKING DON'T! EAT IT!" Another explosion sound effect. "Thank the Goddesses for that."
I stopped playing the game, and closed my laptop. I'd had enough screaming at a computer screen for one day.
I heard a knock at the door. When I answered it, I couldn't believe who it was.
"YOU." I said through clenched teeth. It was the pegasus from the coffee shop. What could he want?
"Yeah, it's me. I want a rematch. Right here, right now. That way Rainbow CRASH can see just how much of a loser you are."
"You wanna freakin' DIE? Then bring it." I bent my knees and brought my fists up to my face. NOPONY calls Dashie that, or me a loser.
"What about that brat of a kid you're raising?" He smirked as he said that, noticing Scoots limping by, a splint on her leg. "Awww... Did the little orange brat have an accident? You're a horrible dad."
"THAT'S IT! I'LL RIP YOUR EMPTY HEAD OFF!" I lunged at him, and knocked him to the ground. I started wailing on him, throwing punch after punch. I bloodied his nose, I knocked out another tooth, I gave him a black eye. I kept going. I wanted blood.
"Gonna talk about my family like that?"
WHAM!
"Gonna talk about Dashie like that?"
WHAM!
"GONNA TALK ABOUT SCOOTS LIKE THAT?"
WHAM!
"GONNA TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT?"
WHAM!
"Please... Stop..."
"I won't stop until every last drop of your blood is soaked into this cloud." That's a problem I have. I tend to get homicidal when I get angry enough.
"Kyle! Get off of him!" Dashie was staring in horror from the doorway. The anger slowly faded, and I stepped off of the poor pegasus... Who didn't get up.
"Uh-oh."
I kicked him gently. Nothing.
"Oh no..."
Dashie and Scoots just stared at me in horror...
"Ohhhhh..." He groaned, and stood up... Barely.
"THANK YOU CELESTIA."
"Hey! You're alive! Good, I didn't kill you. That'll teach you a lesson. Can you fly?"
"D-Don't think I'm done with you..." He spit out some blood. "I'll be back."
"And I'll have a weapon next time." I smiled evilly.
He scowled, and flew off, teetering side to side.
"Kyle..." Dashie sounded scared.
"Don't worry, I won't kill him... At least I'll try not to. Next time, try to pull me away from him."
"Daddy, who was that guy?"
"Just a ponce who loves to make me angry... And apparently get his rear-end handed to him in the process."
"Kyle! You totally kicked his butt! YEAH!"
"You were just worried about him a few seconds ago, Dashie..."
"That was when I thought you were gonna kill him. Now that I know you won't, that was AWESOME!"
"Anything to stick up for my family."
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I walked the streets of Ponyville, my knuckles bandaged. Who knew it could hurt to hurt somepony else?
"Oh no, help!" I heard a shout from a nearby alleyway. I ran in, and saw a large grey earth pony mugging a small red one. They looked over and saw me. They smiled, and approached me.
"Heh, he actually fell for it! What a goodie-goodie two-shoes." The grey one cracked his neck.
"What an idiot..." The red one chuckled menacingly.
"What the..." I turned around, and saw the coffee shop punk, blocking the exit alongside a black unicorn.
"Oh crud..." The unicorns horn glowed, and I felt a shock. I fell over, and my vision blurred. I could barely hear the voices nearby.
"Ha! He actually fell for it! Quick, I know an old house outside of town. Grab him!"
I blacked out.
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I woke up, tied to a chair in a small stone room. It was lit up by a single candle.
"Heh, I can't believe how easy it was to catch you."
"I can't believe how easy it was to make you run like a little school filly. What're you gonna do now, punk? Insult me to death?"
He responded with a quick hoof to my jaw. It hurt, but nothing was broken.
"You're gonna have to do better than that, loser!"
"Alright. HEY! COME ON IN! HE WANTS MORE!"
I saw the black unicorn walk in. He smiled evilly, and lowered his horn. It began to glow, and I felt a sharp pain. I screamed and jerked around in the chair, but all that got me was a face full of stone floor.
"HA! Look at him squirm! Do it again."
"AAAAAAAGH!" That REALLY hurt.
"I just can't wait to see what the boys did to Dashie..."
"WHAT? HOW COULD THEY..." His friend was a unicorn.
"I gave them wings." He said. I knew it. I felt the homicidal anger surface again. I started yanking and pulling, and they just laughed. Eventually, the chair broke. I untied the rope, and grabbed a leg from the chair.
The unicorn's horn began to glow again, and I promptly responded by grabbing it, and snapping it off. He howled in pain, and ran out the door. I grabbed the punk by the neck, squeezing just hard enough so he gasped, but not hard enough to kill him.
"Yeah, don't kill him..." My reasonable side was still somewhat in control.
"W-What're you gonna do?"
"This." I threw him against the wall, and clubbed him over the head.
"DING DING DING! K.O.! I win, bub." I walked out of the door, and up a set of old stairs. I came out in an old abandoned house. I looked out the window, and saw the Everfree Forest to the left, and Ponyville to the right. I walked outside, preparing to fly off.
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I landed at Dashie's doorstep, and immediately noticed that the door had been forced open. I went inside, and the place was a mess. I heard a groan from the other room.
"Dashie?"
I walked in, and saw the two earth ponies with magically obtained wings laying in crumpled heaps on the floor. Dashie was hovering over them, a few marks on her, but nothing too bad. Scoots was comically prancing around, throwing hoof punches at nothing.
"You're OK!" I hugged her tight, she just grinned smugly.
"Of course I am, I'm Rainbow Dash, hero of Ponyville!"
We all laughed.
"Well, I'm glad you two are all right."
"We're glad you're OK, Daddy!"
"Yeah, we were worried about you."
"I'm fine... What're we gonna do about these two?"
Dashie smiled.
"Dashie, what are you planning?"
"Oh, nothing. I'm just friends with a few guards is all..."
I love this mare.
good stuff man this is getting mero then interestingjavascript:smilie('');
i mean more*
Oh great. That dickhead again. Hope he takes a hint and stays the fuck down this time
Hellz yeah! Awesome chapter, love the frequent updates!
Recurring....That means he'll be back...
Prepping Das Boot Cannon.
Who would have tought?
Kyle is more dangerous than he looks like!
Quick, bring here Molestia!
82461
Maybe... Maybe not. I did kick his ass three times. Each time either really hurting him, or almost killing him.
82468
So I prepped Das Boot Cannon for nothing? Damn it!
in the back of my mind chuck noris appered and smile sadisticlaly
82468
Thanks for the shout out, mate! Means a lot to me
Another excellent chapter, btw. Keep up the good work!
82462 Me and the new lunar republic (I'm a starting recruit) are gonna take out molestia! LETS GO!!!
82481
No problem, mate. Anything to help out another good author. For serious, your story is awesome. It deserves more exposure, so that's what I gave it.
i didnt think a unicorn's horn would break off so easily
We really need to think of a name for this guy. We can't keep calling him "coffee shop jerk" or whatever forever can we? The mlp wiki has him fan-named Kevin/Hoops. Hoops would probably be better of those two but he really needs a name aside from "Dude that Kyle beats up a lot".
Speaking of "coffee shop jerk', did he really think that Rainbow Dash couldn't take care of herself? I'm really glad he didn't decide to go after Scoots cause I'm pretty sure that it would be the end for him in that case.
Celestia: Kyle, Can you explain why you killed that pegasus?
Kyle: He foalnapped and abused Scootaloo.
Celestia: HE WHAT?!? ... Well if that's the case then you are free to go.
82468
I'm still pretty sure he'll be back. He came back from the other two times, no?
I wonder if he'll be the Team Rocket of this fic.
TAKE THAT BITCH!!! BITCH DON'T MESS WITH KYLE!!!'
82538 that's what I've been thinking
82538 They probably just know that there's a new DJ named DJ 1NS4N1TY, not that he's a human. When somepony calls Kyle by his DJ name or makes a reference to his DJ career, nearby ponies catch on and THEN put two and two together.
82538, 82582
Yeah, I get that question a lot. The reason nopony recognizes me is because I don't put pictures of myself on album covers, and I only DJ live in Ponyville. And everypony in Ponyville already knows I'm DJ 1NS4N1TY, so they don't pay me any mind.
82508
Alright. Thanks for clearing that up. I'm making him the "Team Rocket" as Agai_Lazen said, of the story, so he will tell me his name eventually... And I will add that name to my shit list.
WHOO! I love this story.
Aaand this is why you shouldn't mees with the family that's 20% more awesome.
82610
I actually planned on killing him, but decided against it. So now the story has a "Mister fuck-everything-up" guy. And of course, I kick his ass to the curb every time.
This is what I thought of when he was beating up coffee shop pony/hoops.
Me gusta
damn dawg yo like Duke Nukem up in here
You fuck with kyle you basicly fuck your self
I say this to hoops
Go f#@! yourself
xD
is a unicorn horn really suppose to snap like that?
82691
Yeah, basically. I usually stick up for kids who are being picked on, which usually results in me getting in a fight. Just a week ago I defended an overweight girl, and the bully tried to kick my ass... But I had a textbook with me. Lets just say, that black eye looks great on him.
82833 heh. You're a hero in your story and in real life too
Damn man, your a really good writer, good romance, good fighting, good Doctor Who references. (lol)
I loved the part where you beat the shit out of them, maybe Dashie can finally put them in prison with her guard friend.
82945
Why thanks friend. I try my best!
Stab stab stab.
I up the point were you got out of the chair but then again ponies aren't very good at tying nots for humans are they?
82954 will the unicron horn he snapped off come into play at all later? cus i wonder how twi and the others Uni's will think when they find Kyle has a severed unicorn horn on him.
83262
No, I threw it on the ground and picked up the leg of the chair. Remember?
82489
When your angry and roughly 3 times the size of somthing that is reasonably hard to break youll obliterate it. Your strength is incresed via the adrenalyin in your system
really liked this chapter... HE was all like WHAM! then BAM! then CaCROW!!!! THEN POW POW!!!! THEN ALL LIKE ZOOOM!!!!!
83578
What are you?
Pinkie Pie?
I'll remind myself not to get you angry if I ever meet you. besides. I really don't like getting in fights
Ah, a cowardly bastard as always, anyway, good job getting out of their.
I must say you have more mercy than I
i think you should make a sequel, but ,here's the twist, have another human come. name him nick. you could make it the story of how a brony survives in this world. include kyle. you could probably think of a great story. i hope you keep 'writing' (i meant this in a positive way) and i think you should publish this. interesting story, bunch of references, it would be a hit. i would deserve a cut of course 20/80 eh eh eh. 'always remember, love, toleration, and ponies' my own saying. thank you.
82615 why did you make the main character have anger issues?
i mean i like it but i am curious
Oh karma, thou art a heartless bitch...
This is why you should simply kill your enemies the second they show signs of being a threat. Things like this always come back to bite you in the butt later.
I established early on in life to everyone I knew I would be around for most of my life that I am fucking insane. They know and accept that if they fuck with me (giggity) and we wind up in a fight; I don't care if they have been my best friend since the womb I will gouge their damn eyes out with my bare hands without a moments hesitation.
Long rant short: I'm normally a nice, docile, and pessimistic kinda guy. However, I don't take kindly to a**holes, and will show no mercy or remorse for things I do.
Guilt is for two kinds of people: 1) the weak and 2) those who give a fuck.
Oh yeah I forgot. Nice chapter dude!! I like how you defend those you love with such passion.
Not to sound creepy or anything, but such raw unbridled fury is a real turn on! creep it up. (see what I did there)
Nobody can beat Dashie
HA! Rainbow Dash kicked their flanks!