Chapter 34: I Just Can't Catch A Break, Can I?
CHAPTER 34
I paced back in forth in my living room, trying to collect my thoughts.
"OK, I kissed Dashie... Well, she kissed me... My first kiss... With a pony... Well, it was nice and all..."
"AAAAAAAAAGH!" I grabbed my head and screamed, frustrated that I can't calm down. In retrospect, that didn't really seem to help.
"Alright... You kissed a pony, and it was your first kiss... But hey, it was nice." I was talking to myself, a habit I thought I had kicked about a year ago.
"OK, Kyle, just calm down... It's alright, these things happen in relationships... But I'm in a relationship with a pony..." I yelled again and punched my wall. I widened my eyes.
"OW OW OW OW OW..." I held onto my knuckles. That also wasn't a good idea.
I took a deep breath, which just barely helped. I sat down, and put my head in my hands, and managed to piece my sanity back together.
"Alright... Just need to stay calm..."
I heard knocking at my door. I opened it to see Pinkie with a basket on her head.
"Hey Pinkie, wassup?"
"I'm here to invite you to Rainbow Dash's 'First Kiss' party!"
I went completely pale, and I felt my knees shaking. I almost fainted, but I managed to hold it back.
"Her... Her... WHAT?"
"'First Kiss' party! She told all of us! We're all super-duper happy for you both!"
I put on a fake smile, and I felt my eye twitch.
"Alright... Yeah. I'll be there. I sorta have to, don't I?" I took an invitation. Pinkie bounced off, singing some song I couldn't comprehend in my slow descent into insanity.
"Oh Goddesses, help me... A party celebrating this? I just can't take it."
I wasn't used to any real affection. That was probably why all of this freaked me out. No other living creature loved me, let alone kissed me. Until now.
"I have to go... Oh no, I'm talking to myself." I got my coat and hat and headed out, taking the back alleys to avoid anypony who might know me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I arrived at the party, thankfully having encountered nopony. I looked through the crack under the door to see a bunch of multicolored hooves, all of them belonging to my friends. I snuck around back and jimmied the lock on a window, and I climbed in. That was always and issue of mine, I loved to break into things. I was good at it too.
I snuck into the party, nopony in the crowd recognizing me. This was my excuse to avoid my friends and still be at the party, so I wouldn't feel as much guilt... I'm always a coward when it comes to feelings.
"Hey Kyle!" I turned around and saw Derpy. Uh-oh...
"I'm so happy for you and Dashie! This means things will be getting serious between you two!" She smiled... And she was talking VERY loudly.
"Derpy! Shush! I'm hiding..."
She immediately listened, and made a zipping motion over her lips with her hoof. She walked away, and kept eating her muffin. That was a close one... I backed away, and bumped into something.
I turned around, and I saw AJ beginning to turn around. I swung back into the crowd.
"I have GOT to be more careful." This was a horrible idea... Both coming to the party in the first place, and cowardly hiding from my friends.
I saw a wisp of pink hair rise over the crowd and sink in again. Pinkie was heading this way. I looked next to me and saw all of the cupcakes. DANG IT!
I hid under the table, and saw the pink hooves approach. It's really dusty under here...
"Achoo!" I immediately covered my mouth, but it was too late. Pinkie looked under the table, smiled wildly, and crawled under with me.
"Oooh... We're under the table! This is fun!" OK...
"Pinkie, I want to play a game..."
"OK! I like games!"
"We need to see who can go the longest without letting anypony know I'm here..."
"Oooh! I like the sound of that! You're on."
She emerged from under the table, getting a few weird stares.
I crawled along under the rows of tables lined up, looking for a place without so many ponies. I found the end of the row that let out right at the stairs. Yes!
I waited for a second, then made a mad dash out from under the table and up the stairs. I found the nearest room I could and ran inside. I slammed the door behind me and pushed a chair under the knob.
"Phew..."
I looked around. I was in a bedroom. I noticed there was a water closet (Bathroom) in the room as well. I heard a toilet flush, and a familiar voice say "Ahhh..."
The W.C. door opened, and I saw a cyan hoof extend out...
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WOOOPS
Sorry ma'am.
xD
MUST STOP DRAWING ALSFSFASHEOSFJDSB
oh lawdy
Well then....
Had a nice time on the toilet RD?
Shit just got real.
Uhhhhh........ *Pinkie runs in to use the bathroom an runs right out* Waaaaaaaghhhhhh
Rd:.....
ew on so many levels xD
64166
MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT
"why" dr.robotnick
This is going be all kinds of awkward.
Can't wait for the next chapter.
That's gonna be awkward
Looks like someone already beat me to the pun...
Omg this may not end well just a thought thou
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahhaahh wub wub wub wub hahahah!!!
64179
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/+_2acc5a8841f8752904d37f90a8014829.png?1322693145
Pinkies just to easy...
Good evening I'm the bathroom inspector... how would you rate this bathroom?
Oh man Kyle's argument with himself was priceless
Wow. I didn't know this could be such a problem for people.
Poor Kyle. Life must be hard when you worry about morals that much. I mean being nice and helping ponies and stopping muggings and babysitting and saving googly eyed girls from gaggles of greasers are great and should be promoted, but not from a moral standpoint or because they're the right things to do. It's simply cause it's nice and .... well there isn't really a reason. You should just do them. But dating a pony (sentient of course) isn't something to freak out about, sure stuff can get awkward, but surely no more awkward than with any other sentient female. If you love her than species doesn't matter. Maybe it's just me cause I don't worry about "morals". The *urk* ..... "right thing" comes naturally, always has for as long as I can remember, but if it seems like I have no self control, like people always tell me (meaning I'm doing the wrong thing without thinking) then that's probably not the case being nice and caring are like my default setting; I have to force myself to do the wrong thing from time-to-time.
Rambleramblerambleramble
Halfway and still no Trixie.
Still a cool story, bro
Well the proverbial shot just got real.
I still don't understand how most of the ponies don't recognize him, he's the only human in this story.
Derp.
What i don't understand is "I snuck into the party, nopony in the crowd recognizing me." How does he not get noticed? It's not like there are any other humans.
OH HE'S BEEN CAUGHT NOW!