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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well It's obvious that nobody liked him during his reign and I doubt any of his elite guards would take a bullet for him regardless that he's the King. Seems that Yang was the motivation they needed to stand-up against him, even if it was small and she didn't have a part in it. They seen how she didn't take any of his crap when they visited her restaurant and she was willingly to give them food & water.
Well, that escalated kinda quickly. Then it deescalated. Then reescalated only to deescalate again. Fascinating........
9592542
If that's the case, and I admit it makes a great deal of sense and is very likely what more or less happened, then the case could be made that there was and yet wasn't a coup. After all, while there wasn't a concerted conspiracy against the old King, the case could be made that his guards were complicit in the overthrow of his rule by standing aside when the opportunity to facilitate a change of power arose.
Ironbeak, as One of those guards, could be in a precarious situation politically for the next few years at least, despite his promises of a better future for the Griffon Empire, simply by association if anyone starts asking questions along the lines of "if you failed your duty here by not being there, or worse deliberately stood aside and let your charge die, what makes you think we trust you with the duty of running the nation?" And with Garrison/Blackbeak, former captain of said elite guard, retiring almost immediately after the change in power, it could be seen as a gesture of low confidence or protest of Ironbeak's rule, unless he made some big statement to the contrary in the part of the article that was cut out, and even then rumors would persist.
If you're bad at writing romance, then you are excellent at lampshading.
still no romance tag and all my comment still apply
9593214 Okay, I'll play your little game. I'll probably regret it, but I'm doing it anyways.
First off, thanks for the reminder on the tags. I've fixed that. It kind of got lost in one of your earlier comments.
Second, I do understand your logic, even though your complete lack of punctuation and capitalization makes it more difficult to do so. But back to your point on the changing of Yang's mind. Part of it is this little thing called character development. If you read the story from the start, you would likely remember that she was a total pacifist at the beginning, and unwilling to fight at all, even when fully capable of doing so. Stagnant or perfect characters are boring and no fun at all. There's also a trope called The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body. What's happening here is a rather downplayed example of that trope in action, along with the character development.
Third, have you written any stories, let alone romance? I'm not asking for proof or links, just a simple yes or no. This is my first foray into romance, so things are bound to be a bit rough. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Fourth, I know you haven't faved I Burn (as of this comment, at least). I didn't see it in your library the four times I checked it, so I suppose you're probably shadow following it. You're welcome to follow it that way, though favoriting it makes it much easier.
Finally, it's my story, not yours. If you want to see some kind of event play out a particular way, try writing it yourself. There's nothing stopping you from doing that, even if it's only in bits and pieces at a time. You clearly have a way to get online, FiMFiction has the tools, and that's all you really need.
Next time, aim for constructive criticism. Tell me what I can do better. I read every comment on my stories, so what you say will reach me.
9593959
i be frank the reason i have not made comments before is due to the fact iv not had an account of this site until DEC 9th 2018 iv been going through all the fics iv read before i made the account(iv read a lot of fics)
secondly the reason I'm so vocal about this now is due to the fact that before this iv hand no problems with your story. That why i commented this is one of the few times when commenting about something can make changes for the better
Now for your comment, normally id just move on when a story go's in a strange direction. like this one has but i could not leave this unsaid. The problem is that trope you have just used i have zero doubt in my mind that the body affects the mind and vice versa but i find mind altering fundamentally reprehensible, people change according to environmental factors that why the pacifist to warrior was fine with me but when you change the mind of a human underpinning free will i loathe it(the merchant not the author) that why i commented. what yang is now doing is basically to me(if you see things differently that fine just my opinion) giving up what is left of who he is/was. to see this character i like who who fort everything in his way, to be undone by his own mind/body is just so hard to read watching as this character becomes a shadow of his former self is just a sad, its like I'm watching a tragedy in the making
lastly you are correct this is your story not mine do what you will with it
thank your for your time
Gaming Le9end
How did roseluck knew of his real name?
Still hate the new romance
9594182 They talked before he went to Yang's place. There, it was a low stakes reveal for him. With Yang, it was a higher stakes reveal. Something like that.
Lol doing grate on romance remember keep up the awkwardness. I remember my first date I felt like I was sitting on a time bomb that had no count down display. Rofl.
Screw it make yang bi!! Alsoi can see the potential consequences for the empire... nice.
With the title I thought it was going to be a crossover
9622412
If only you could remember.
Could this be doings of that currently small cult of Yang? They were willing to burn themselfs with scalding water so... OH! I was about to suggest hey started burning things from her opponents an if that is the case it would make lot more sense for nobles to go as far as to send assasins after her.
9594512
PLEASE tell me whether or not I actually hit a plot point! This is just too fitting!
Hmm, I don't really feel attached to Shamrock yet. Nothing about him particularly strikes me, and it feels a bit too quick in terms of pacing, but I shall see where it goes.
I guess this isn't too late a comment. I fully agree with the romance going on. I'm a sucker for sappy romance over carnal relationships so this has me smiling and giggling like a child all over again. Only thing I would probably change instead of Blackbeak/Garrison I'd have her paired with Gilda, I think the two of them would be sweet together and they have a history. The scene from the Iron Ring Arc when Gilda pulled aside Aegir and gave yang the slap she needed, along with Gilda's avatar kinda made me think you were going down that path as well. I haven't read past this chapter yet so I still have no Idea what's to come but I can guarantee I'll enjoy it, this Story has had me excited since chapter one and that's impressive on it's own right, I usually get bored and fall off a story about 30 chapters in, so this is one of my favourites!
Nothing wrong with being Bisexual. If he liked girls then and she likes boys now, she should figure out if anything actually changed.