Page generated in 0.056 seconds
Total duration
896 users online
1,700,884 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm wondering more about her (his?) decision on not fighting, changing drastically.
While reading the part of the chapter about dinner, for some reason my brain kept thinking it said omelets instead of casserole, so I was thinking, "Why can't Rarity make hers and Sweetie Belle's with hay and grass, and not Yangs?"
Then I finally realized it said casserole, and realization crashed down like a building.
Also, I kept thinking about people eating grass and dirt... So...
7432803 I already have that planned out. I just have to figure out how to execute the scenes. No spoilers.
7432917 Rest assured, there will be an omelette before chapter 10. It's already written, in fact.
A pacifist Yang...
...ufffh...kill me.
... On the note of fighting or not, I heard an interesting... 'philosophy' as far as that goes.
"I am a pacifist in that I do not ever (willingly) fight, because there is never conflict. If I would ever have to resort to violence, I will either not engage, or I will move to kill my opponent or target before they are able to retaliate; whichever the situation merits. If I am unable or unwilling to kill my target, then there is no point in fighting anyway. Only when I am taken by surprise is there conflict, and only then to regain the power to make the decision 'kill, or run'."
The difference between a fighter, and an assassin / executioner.
7434327 The answer I gave him was No, but I did at least give him a fair chance. Unfortunately, I couldn't read any of his Displaced fics. I had an idea that would amount to the shortest Displaced crossover ever as well (easily under 1k words), but since I couldn't read the one he had in mind without getting a headache, I had to turn down his offer.
I suppose then that it''s a good thing I planned out the story without any necessary crossovers. If I do wind up collaborating on one, I'll make sure it impacts the story as little as possible.
7432934
Oh thank Celestia. I was so worried they weren't going to have an omelet!
7432934 will we see potential shipping?
Maybe twilight and yang?
7436169 Shipping outside of parcels and packages has not been considered. Time will tell if Yang gets shipped with anyone.
I don’t normally down vote stuff without a reason so I figured I’d at least make a critique out of it. Please know that I mean no insult or offense. I wanted to like this story, I really did: I'm a fan of RWBY, Yang is one of my favorite characters and with the number of views and solid like ratio I’m came into this story with high hopes but… I’m sorry but this just isn’t an interesting story- it had potential but it just doesn’t live up to it in my eyes.
Apologies in advance for how long this is.
I’m six chapters in and NOTHING’S. HAPPENED.. It’s literally the main character just going through the motions among frankly dull and unreactive ponies. What little that is accomplished just sort of happens, and everyone just accepts it. There’s no questions, no resistance, no ideas, no personality, no emotion, and no build up. Things are explained in one or two sentences with mechanic efficiency and then we just move on. There's a lot of telling vs showing. It’s boring.
To compound it, not only are many of the ponies out of character but they all seem very subdued and lifeless; like they’re nothing more than props to progress the main characters rather vague progression:
-Where’s Twilight’s curiosity? Her drive to learn and make new friends out of it? And why’d she just leave it up to Fluttershy? We don’t know, it just happens.
-Where’s Rainbow Dashes brashness? Her suspicious and confrontational nature?
-Where’s Rarity’s passion? Sure she’s making new things but where’s the excitement?
-Did Pinkie know “Yang” would jump out the window? Why were the party guests outside if she didn’t?
-Why isn’t Fluttershy scared? or at least timid? Sure, kindness but Flutter’s a total scaredy cat- yes still even now. I could see her coming around to defending her but she just- A big, possibly violent alien and- ...Again, it all just happens.
-And why are they all bending over backwards to accommodate a complete and potentially dangerous STANGER? A stranger who then demands MORE in exchange for… modeling in yet even more things made for her and some chores. I get they're ponies and that Rarity’s the element of generosity but come the f*** on…
Now as for “Yang”- Yes, I know displaced aren’t the actual characters but you seems to have given some transference of instinct and such. And yet she’s a total f-ing coward… I mean being afraid of Pinkie? Not just afraid but terrified into nightmares because she surprised her a couple times? By PINKIE? A small, pink pony and one of the friendliest ponies around… there’s being a pacifist, there’s being a coward, and then there’s pathetic, and no one likes pathetic.
Even from a technical stand point it’s flawed. Even just using one example: the scream. The ENTIRE town heard it? When she was inside and they all live in different parts of town including the outskirts? Suuuure. Also Dash doesn’t live in Cloudsdale- just a cloud house over Ponyville. Cloudsdale moves around, and is a floating CITY. So all of the town of Ponyville AND Cloudsdale heard her now too? It’s just not believable and jarring to the whole scene. That’s not even all of it but I don’t want this to be even longer so moving on…
Prophecies are lazy. They’re scapegoat goals that avoid discovery and natural story development. Yes, they CAN be done right but this isn’t it. Ten Great Evils and she is the key and only one that can blah blah -center of the universe- blah… It’s cliché, boring and doesn’t even fit either source material. And I’m sorry but even small clichés only hurt displaced stories at this point, particularly the cliché clichés. And so far nothing interesting in the story has made up for it and you’ve already made me not care about the rest… sorry...
On a slightly more positive note: when it comes to grammar and punctuation and the like, it’s above a lot of what you see here- Particularly compared to some displaced authors. So at least there’s that.
Again I’m sorry but I don’t understand how this is as popular as it is, and I sorry I had to down vote- I really don’t mean to discourage, I actually hope this helps you strive for better. Take all of this for what you will, I just needed to say my peace. Have a nice day.
War, war never changes. Either.
7744147 dat reference though!!
Haha fallout 4 reference nice!
*DING*
Sin Counter: 1
"Story shamelessly rips off Fallout 4"
8914477
DING
Previous commenter mis sinned story as that was obviously a reference to all Fallout games since 3, where the War never changes intro was first used.
Comment sin count:1
Was the man in the tan jacket and holding a deer skin suitcase selling trained flies?
9621410 Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. The flies could have been somewhere else.
Luna is a pressuring bitch, seems like she's just gonna force yang to be a part of the prophecy.
So far the story is alright, not really seeing the point in Gender swapping the MC when a female protagonist from the beginning would have done just as well. Besides the conflict with his new form it doesn't add much to the story usually, authors seem to underplay it or over play it. Never really seen a middle ground.
A few bits here and there are a bit 'meh' but nothing to strong in either direction.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Plase+Mister+Custer+I+Don%27t+Go+to+Weant&&view=detail&mid=1E3FE387C98E5C1CD7CC1E3FE387C98E5C1CD7CC&&FORM=VRDGAR
It's his religious beliefs. He's a devout coward.
Well, not to offend anyone, but they were worshipped for a reason.
10048383
Indeed the people of Kemet were on to something