It was 3 AM, Shining Armor was in a snuggle coma, and oddly enough, Cadence had grown to love her insomnia. Even while exhausted, it was a precious, peaceful moment to hold her husband close and stare into nothing, she-
Three gentle knocks tapped on her door.
Frowning, Cadence carefully extracted herself from her bed and made her way to her bedroom door. Upon opening it, she was confused to see Celestia in her old Uncle disguise.
"Aunt Tia? What are you doing here, it's the middle of the night!"
"Good to see you Cadence, and I'm Nopony Special," the stallion answered.
Cadence snorted, "You're the Alicorn of the Sun."
"Right, yeah, so Celestia kicked me out, can I crash here for a bit?"
The Alicorn stared up at the tall mangy pegasus in silence.
"You are Celestia."
"Yeah, so like, the couch down a couple stairs. Just until I find another box and-"
"N- No, wait, you are Celestia." Cadence groaned in frustration.
"Yes, I am indeed." He nodded.
"The one who took me in when I was a foal?"
"I do remember doing that."
"The owner of Canterlot Castle and generally all of Equestria?"
"Nah, Celestia kicked me out. That's kind of why I'm here actually. My back up is Fluttershy but her house smells like sweaty animals, so if-"
"Okay okay okay, back up!" Cadence stopped to take a deep breath, and let it go. "What happened exactly?"
"So I was hanging out with Scootaloo." Nopony started.
"Who?"
"She was a flower girl at your wedding."
"Who?"
"She babysat Flurry Heart a couple times."
"Who?"
"She can't fly due to gimp wings and her ribs are visible-"
"Oh! The orange furred purple haired filly?"
"Yep, Scootaloo, so I was hanging with her-"
"When did you two start hanging out?" Cadence frowned.
"About a year and a half ago, she lives in my closet."
"She moved to Canterlot? I thought her and those other flowers girls were the little sisters of the elements of harmony?"
"Yeah she's still in Ponyville."
"Didn’t you just say she lives in your closet?" Cadence inquired.
"Uh huh, so Scootaloo and I were hanging out, and a monster attacked Ponyville, like usual."
"What do you mean like usual-"
"And there's sorta of an unspoken town rule that whoever is closest to the monster usually deals with it. Just helps daily life not get so interrupted and all that." Nopony shrugged.
"Don't you have a military? What is wrong with Pony-"
"Ponyville's great, I love it, don't worry about it. So Scootaloo fell asleep in a really cute pose and I wanted to get a picture, so I had to deal with the monster quietly."
"What's your relationship with Scootaloo?" Cadence raised a brow.
The two stared at each other in silence.
"I had to get that picture, so I decided to just teleport the monster away." Nopony continued.
"I really starting to get confus-"
"And while I was teleporting it I thought of how cute Luna was when she was little and accidentally teleported it to her bedroom while she was sleeping."
Cadence gasped, "Oh my goodness, is she okay?!"
"I 'unno, anyway, after that I tried doing damage control, and accidentally set Scootaloo's closet on fire, and Luna's room got destroyed and long story short Celestia kicked me out." Nopony scratched the side of his hip.
Cadence stared at Nopony, then back at her still somehow asleep husband, then back at the dirty stallion before her.
"Um, so..." Cadence tried to shake her stupor off. "Are you currently a separate entity from Celestia?"
"Of course not," he chuckled.
"Okay, uh, could I talk to her? Please?" Cadence whimpered.
"Naaaah she's busy venting to Luna right now."
Cadence slowly pushed her hooves into her face.
"I don't understand!" Cadence whined.
"Okay, from the top, so Scootaloo and I were hanging out-"
"Couch downstairs, you can use it, good night-"
Cadence slammed the door shut.
"I love you too Niece!" Nopony shouted through the other end of the door.
"Go to bed!!"
"So if I end up staying for a while can I invite some friends-"
"GO AWAY!!"
Ah, happy confusion. The slight possibility of split personality problems and sentient magic dopplegangers is also troubling, but ehh.
I am... so confused right now.
Let the madness continue!!
Nice.
Poor Cadance she seems so locked out of the loop here. Then again Celestia probably has told anyone about the deal so she can have somepony to help run jokes and pranks.
...F-Fluttershy?
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Ayyyyy you got the reference~
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Perfect.
The closet did nothing wrong.
*Scootaloo slapping Nopony across the face multiple times* "FIX! MY! HOUSE!"
*Luna slapping Celestia across the face multiple times* "FIX! MY! ROOM!"
*Cadence slapping Nopony/Celestia across the face multiple times* "GET! OUT!"
There was an update!
Thank.
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~
So he burned down Scoots house...
Eh, she will be fine.
Everything is fine.
Had me in stitches as always!
... someone wants to see the the cute picture of Scootaloo?
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*Cadence slapping Nopony/Celestia across the face multiple times* "LEAVE! MY! HOUSE!"
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I don't understand... Is Nopony Fluttershy in disguise after Celestia came and kicked her out? Where does time come into play with this?
Cadence.....youd thnk you'd be used to this sort of thing being Celestia's neice and all.....im sure youve seen/walked in on/been part of (willing or Unwilling) heard, smelled, tasted, felt or Ungelindiad then this.
So dont act so surprised and just give your possibly insane from boardom acient immortal aunt a couch to sleep on for a time.
Wait Flutterpriest? Is this a fetish guess? Is this a coincidence orrr
That's pretty ruff
Yay update. Also what's with you and your profile picture? Last time I saw it it was a rotten banana. But I'm still enjoying your stories all the same. So tell me, whats the significance?
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A reference to Flutterpriest's story, where Fluttershy starts every
horror storywacky hijink with three gentle knocks.9435447
I'm just determined to be more positive on this site again~
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hmmm. Alright seems legit
Also cover art? Awesome. This is news to me
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AFAIK Celestia said that she has a changeling that pretends to be her for Day Court. In Diplomacy chapter.
Don't worry Celestia, when a group of strong stallions appear with a big t-shirt. They are very friendly and after a time you will feel much better as they even give you a cushioned room.
Y'know I always end up reading this story every once a while and I think I finally know what I wanna say about it. Its like polishing a turd. I like the shiny polish but its still turd, but the polish is so god damned good you don't even care about the turd and more. You're the king of polishing turds. Story good, go home now bye.
My heart fairly leaps up in glee every time you post something. It's the perfect burst of absolute random my innermost fleshy parts crave.
Ah, the confuse Cadence until she just accepts whatever your trying to do, Classic.
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You are correct.
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Ah. I figured it was a Mirror Pool clone. One that somehow turned out more responsible and level-headed than Celestia. I think it was a variable overflow issue.
I squeaked when I saw what story had a new chapter
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I absolutely adore the idea that Celestia's changeling stand-in kicked her out for being too irresponsible, and Celestia accepted it with grace.
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I NEED A NEW ADULT!!! T_T
When the banana turned pink?
Nice chapter, as always.
It's good to be back home.
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...Thank you? I think?
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Yes.
That basically summarises the entire story.
Cadance, your reaction was the right reaction. And funniest. :D
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Sometimes this is all you need.
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But of course! I am a fan of brevity~
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At least she- er, him... them? At least Nopony isn't suddenly a spider, right?
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... Dear lord Nopon- Nospider would be far less indifferent I think.
I just finished rereading this and man I forgot how much I loved your humour
This was so funny.
There is a story in this and we need some serious details.