Home is for the Weak

by Pickleless

Gentle Glow

Author's Note:

This chapter takes place after Scootaloo gets a home.

Scootaloo stared at the empty paper roll, and then at the broken handle on the toilet.

"Okay, don't panic." Scootaloo's eye twitched. "I'll just grab another roll."

Scootaloo looked around and remembered she was in a public restroom, that happened to be inside the Wonderbolts stadium. She was missing a show that Rainbow was performing in. Scootaloo double facehoofed... right into her dirty hooves.

Sounds of horrible indigestion came from another stall in the bathroom.

"This has to be a nightmare." Scootaloo whimpered.

"Indeed!" Luna yelled from the next stall over.

"Oh." Scootaloo blinked.

Scootaloo heard Luna flush the toilet and open her stall.

"Did you just use the restroom in my dream?"

"We had to relieve ourselves." Luna started washing her hooves.

"Aren't we both asleep, or are you actually in my head?" Scootaloo scrunched her face in confusion. "Did you actually just poop in my head? Is that gonna stay there? Am I gonna be okay?"

Scootaloo flinched as her location abruptly changed from a bathroom stall to a seat in the stadium. She was next to Rainbow, Nopony, and Spitfire, while watching Rainbow, Nopony, Spitfire, and herself performing tricks in the air.

"...So uh," Scootaloo looked around, "Luna's gone because everything's okay now, right?"

Scootaloo watched her other self do a corkscrew and tried flapping her own wings, they didn't work.

Her eye twitched.

---

Much to Luna's surprise, Celestia left her dreams unguarded, unlike when she sleeps at the castle. Luna grinned mischievously as she jumped into Celestia's dream.

She found herself on the side of a canterlot street. All the buildings looked as if they finished burning down, covered in dim embers. The streets had low flickering flames all over, not burning the stone walkway or anything on it. Individual pockets of flames stayed contained, looking to burn for eternity. A small white filly with a pink mane was on the sidewalk next to Luna. The filly stopped playing with the embers, and looked up at Luna with a smile.

"Sleep now, in fire."

Flames consumed Luna, digging into her very core and sucking all the warmth out of her body, making her mind go numb.

---

"Look, all I'm saying is if you want to experience working night shift at a place where giant animals are trying to kill you, just go work at an aquarium." Nopony yawned. "Giant Octopus look out for cameras, sneak out of their tanks at night to eat the other animals, and have a very strong grip."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Octopodes aren't that aggressive, they would avoid security instead of attack them."

Nopony made an evil grin as he glanced at Scootaloo. "Imagine flashing your light at the corner of a hallway, and a giant octopus lunges at you because it was startled-"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR MIND?!" Luna teleported into the room.

"Did you poop in my head?!" Scootaloo pointed at Luna.

"Did you poop in Scootaloo's head?!" Nopony mimicked Scootaloo.

"You killed me while I was visiting your dream!" Luna pointed a hoof at Nopony.

"Wait, you killed Luna while she was in your dream?" Scootaloo continued.

"Wait, you got killed in my head?" Nopony grinned.

"Did I get killed in yo- YOU FROZE ME TO DEATH!"

"Hey Luna." Nopony yawned.

"What?!"

"Luna."

"What?"

"Luna."

"..."

"Was it cold?"

"Yes Sister," Luna growled through gritted teeth, "it was cold."

"Extremely cold then?"

"Yes."

"Had a hard time breathing there?"

"Not sure how that is releva-"

"Welcome back from the moon little Sis."

Luna's eye twitched as Scootaloo broke out into laughter.

Comments

[PonyDragon]

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR MIND?!"

*redirects that question to the author*

[Multiversecruise]

Was that a reference to something?

[Multiversecruise]

Also yess I've been waiting for scootaloo to meet nopony's sister!!

[Xzrea]

I thought the question Nopony would ask to Luna is "Am I sleeping?"
Cause if not, then in whose dream she died?

[DreamKitsune]

Man, nothing worse than having a Moon Horse poop in your head.

[PiMan]

Dream one was Scoots.
Dream two was Celestia.
Dream three was... both?

[badninja]

7960703

There is nothing wrong with it. Come join our author in the spectacular insanity that is this story! Now excuse me as the guy in the next cell is see about to breakout and fight the local vigilante and the escapes are legendary.

[Philosophysics]

7960842 No.

Dream three is the Author's dream.

It was also where Luna got ROASTED!

AGAIN!

[Captain_Homosexual]

i don't know how i got here or what the fuck i'm reading but i'm having fun and i think that's all that matters.

[Catalysts Cradle]

[youtube=w211KOQ5BMI]
(bonus: check out the sign at 1:04)

[Headlock1_0]

I'm so confused. This is fine. https://goo.gl/images/ER5s35

[Scorch215]

Hmm...the dreams were amusing and I loved Celestia psychotic dream but I did not understand the last line spoken between Nopony and Luna or any of thst back and forth really.

[Aurora Dimmet]

7963315

Cold. Couldn't breathe.

... Like being on the moon. No heat, no air.

[Zuabug]

Oh dear Luna I love that you wrote some more for this! Oh i love how you write these three!

CAN WE BRING TWILIGHT INTO A DREAM NEXT?

[Jake Witt]

I legitimately want to know if there's ether poop in Scootaloo's head.

[Ulrezaj]

7965214
I think the next time she dreams it will just kinda float by, almost like a feather on the breeze.

[Jake Witt]

7965623 Now I am imagining a Forrest Gump dream sequence where Scootaloo in an absent minded state puts the floating poo in her book. Much like Forrest did with the feather.

"Nopony said 'Life was like a box of chocolates... you don't know what is actually chocolate.'"

[BureYaAkili]

The megaphone post is still my favorite

[Tonto the Trotter]

Aw man, when it started off with the missing toilet roll, I thought there was gonna be a song about bad things happening in the bathroom. Ah well, Bob's Burgers has me covered.

I liked the two dream segments, good chapter overall.

[Jonny Bench]

Funnier every time i come back to check on this one

[Norad2]

"Welcome back from the moon little Sis."

I regret to inform you, Luna, that you've been owned.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Just marathoned this thing. Just... wow. Random as all hell. Funny, occasionally very sweet. 11/10.

[josue]

7960842 yes

[Dustchu]

*Snkrt*
Gloriously well done author, hehehe

[AMuffinlover]

sooo luna took a shit in scootaloo's mind. does that even work?

[SoloBrony]

The plural of "octopus" is "octopodes".

[Pickleless]

9435524
Oh, thanks~!

[Alicon Glactistar]

The term you are looking for is shit for brains.
Good work Luna.