Tiny Tall Island
Jolly Roger and Nopony sat inside a cardboard box.
They were on an little island raised high off the ground only big enough to have two adult sized ponies. Outside of their strangely sturdy box, a horrible hurricane was flooding the area with water. Jolly was almost sure there was a tornado somewhere behind them.
"Jolly my colt, let Uncle Nopony tell you a story. A while back ago a young stallion named-"
Jolly thought back to the fight earlier today. He was having a nice time with his Uncle fishing when two sirens got in the mood to shipwreck them. Jolly was pretty certain there were suppose to be three of them, and they were banished, but he wasn't about to let these two trot all over him.
"-He busted into the room and yelled, 'Which pony do I have to make out with to get a job around here?' and the mare inside replied, 'I would be that pony.' He popped his collar and started trotting up to her." Nopony smiled. "She then locked him a room and forced him to read books all day. The Stallion hated it, before coming to peace with it and gaining a strange learning fetish-"
Of course, Jolly had to flirt with the cute one, and then the cute one flirted back. So after a while it became his Uncle trying to kill the scary one while he was rubbing up against a purring cute fish thing. That's when he decided to knock her unconscious.
"-Beat it unconscious with a flower pot he made himself. She gave him access and permission to take any book, and he became a homeless scholar. Unfortunately, his thirst for knowledge led him to learn about every single type of herb and medicine, which then later led to an addiction to fizzlepop seeds, but that's not really all that important-"
Sirens are supposed to charm you with their magic. Jolly didn't know any idiots who fell for that, that Siren wasn't going to charm him, he was going to charm her, and he did. Turns out Siren scales are a lot tougher than they look, and she got really pissed.
"-And that's the story of how Starswirl met Celestia. Look, I was a bit too busy to watch you fight Jolly, but what I'm getting at is sometimes flirting with dangerous strangers leads to powerful magic and drugs and fun, but sometimes it can also lead to getting shipwrecked and all your crap stolen. So uh, next time, maybe don't hit on a siren trying to..."
"I understand." Jolly slightly nodded.
He decided to keep the saucier details of that fight to himself.
"Great," Nopony laid a hoof on Jolly's shoulder, "glad we had this talk."
The two watched the sea rage on.
Jolly frowned. "How do you think my Mom will react when they find us?"
"Scoots? After hearing you tried to flirt with a siren? She'll either laugh, or be proud."
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31 years and Celestia still uses the name Nopony? Really?
8558941
Going by the first chapter, she used it over a thousand years ago already. Why change a working system? Like living on the street or pissing on your student's books.
8558952
Scootaloo made up the name~
8558941
Nopony was here.
Also can you just picture Nopony going to Hell and just chilling with her friends?
8558967
Yeah, bringing an extra large cardboard box down with him/her to hang out with Scoots and Roger 200 years later
8558978
Yup.
Pffft, hehehehe, nicely written, nicely written
And the insanity continues...
Both, obviously.
In any case, wonderful to see that the tradition continues with the next generation.
8558941
Nopony else was using it.
I swear to god Celestia has all the free time in the world
And it just keeps going on, into more and more
mind-numbing stupiditybrain-melting weirdness.Eeyyyyy anothe mini-high for my veins. Yum!
Ha! That ending!
I was really confused all the way, but the ending got me!
One mistake:
Now I want to know who knocked up the orange one.....and how the "meet the parents" talk went.
On earth that usually involves calmly cleaning a firearm of some sort(in the US) while talking about how you will respect the daughter and be home by 11 and so on.
With Celestia I imagine it's much more bizarre and terrifying.
No..noooo...it's not possible! It can't be!! THERE'S NO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT TO READ!! T_______________________________T
8560833
Ahhh I missed the deleted comment shoot- I MEAN I'm glad you liked the story~! Thank you.
The ride never really ends.
8560841
It's okay the deleted comment was just me accidentally posting twice, because I didn't realize the original post went through when my laptop dropped the wi-fi signal
8558941
Why change perfection?
The question now is... who da babby daddy?
Well i did a marathon on this, by celestias autism was it worth it... Thank you for writing this masterpiece!
Supposed to.
So... Do we get free sanity refills, or...?
8565090
Thank you~
I'm a little interested in Celestia's story there. Sounds like a great time!
I never have any idea what's going on but I am always amused
I thought we were going to the sea & sky pirate territory, where they find a cyclops and take her eye out.
But instead of the name Nopony deflecting any aid to the cyclops... it pisses the help off to the point they want Celestia’s eyes.
8559537
That’s what happens when she dumps all of her responsibilities on Luna!
8558941
It’s too dang good to change it!
I am so glad i finally got around to reading this XD
That cover art looks nice
Still one of my favorite stories. Love the coverart, too.
8680202
8681550
Thank you-
8681708
Nopony doesn't have a big dumb hat.
0/10
I could have sworn Nopony had a brown coat/mane.
Every time there’s a long delay between me reading the next chapter, I always go for the thumbs up, and then realize it’s already been pressed.
8564109 Celestia, of course
I'll be honest, I prefer the old cover art. But beside that I still love noponyverse stories. They're weird, they make no sense, and they are cute.
Well after my friend badgering me to read this for the past two years, I finally did. It made me laugh, so definitely a win.
xD