Celestia's brain.
"...Hey Nopony?" Scootaloo quietly spoke up.
"Hmm?" Nopony made himself more comfortable.
"...I never knew who my Mom was, but... do you think my Dad would be proud of me, if he was still around? I mean, with me living in this box and all?.."
"WOOOOOOOOOAH!" Celestia's Anxiety recoiled. "NO, NO NO NO! SUNSET SHIMMER WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH, WE DON'T NEED THIS!"
"Summer of piglets." Celestia's Panic rocked back and forth in a corner. "Summer of piglets."
Celestia's Poker Face walked up to the monitor that controlled Celestia's actions and had her make a perfect gentle smile, with a touch of sympathy on her face.
"It's okay," Celestia's humor spoke up, "I got this!"
Humor went up the chalkboard and wrote down a suggestion for what Celestia should say.
"Well Scootaloo, considering you're too scared to admit you should live at the orphanage, I imagine your Father would find you rather chicke"
Humor was knocked to the ground and beaten mercilessly by Celestia's Kindness, Tact, and Anxiety.
"HUG THAT FILLY, HUG HER RIGHT NOW!" Celestia's Sympathy cried out.
"No, you idiot!" Tact smacked the back of Sympathy's head. "Scootaloo would find that weird, we have a reputation for being caring, but aloof and teasing! We need to do this in a cool manner!"
"How about we kiss her?" Celestia's Lewdness spoke up.
"Who let her out," Tact accused, "we put you in prison for a reason!"
"Hey, after a couple millennia, I pretty much got tired of even the weirdest stuff, including this. I'll take what I can get though."
"Somebody get Restraint, quick!" Panic yelled.
Poker Face calmly pointed over to three gravestones, labeled 'Restraint,' 'Dignity,' and 'Pride.'
"Quick, everypony throw her back in jail, I'm not letting her ruin this!"
"I have not gotten any action, in the past 273 years!" Lewdness' eye twitch. "We are going to hit on that gimp little chicken, or I'm setting everything on fire right now!"
"Did somepony say fire?!" Celestia's Pyromania grinned.
"Somepony stop those lunatics!" Anxiety wailed.
"Summer of piglets." Panic sobbed, still in the fetal position.
"Burn!" Lewdness screamed. "BURN!!"
Scootaloo waited as the awkward silence stretched out. Nopony's face, which had a gentle smile, suddenly broke out into a full rosy blush.
"Uhhhh..." Scootaloo shuffled nervously.
Pyromania struggled to the very end.
"LIVE FREE DIE HAR-"
Lewdness and Pyromania were shoved into a cardboard box, which Tact taped shut.
"Sh- should we put out these fires?.." Celestia's Doubt asked.
"There's no time, we should've answered Scootaloo who knows how long ago! We need an answer, now!" Tact ordered.
"S- Summer of piglets..."
"No Anxiety, an actual answer!" Tact huffed.
"Tell her that we love her!" Kindness insisted.
Sympathy nodded in agreement, while Tact slowly shook his head.
"Look, can we just go back to sleep?" Celestia's Apathy shrugged. "It's not like ignoring her is really all that out of character for us."
"You're the one that got us into this mess!" Tact grabbed Apathy and shook him. "We just couldn't go find our own cardboard box, could we?!"
"Do you think you could be mad later? I don't really want to deal with thi-"
"Oh my gosh she's going to follow us back to the castle..." Anxiety whispered. "She's going to insist we're her mother, and get jealous when another Alicorn just pops up out of the blue again. Unlike the last one, this one isn't going to run away. She already plotted to kill us! We're doomed, doomed!"
Anxeity started running around screaming, throwing objects and knocking over buildings.
"Oh my gosh, you all are foals!" Celestia's Irritation growled.
Anxeity picked up Irritation and tossed him at Tact, Kindess, and Sympathy. All three got knocked out cold.
A sharp object from a building broke off and went flying towards Poker Face, cutting off her left forehoof.
A small trickle of blood leaked out of Nopony's left ear.
"Nopony, are you alright?!" Scootaloo gasped.
Nopony continued to sit there wearing a gentle smile and a flushed complexion, blood trickling down the side of his face.
Lewdness and Pyromania broke out of their prison and were in a hoof fight with Panic and Irritation. Panic slowly crawled over next to Poker Face, and grabbed the microphone attached to the monitor.
"Summer of piglets." Nopony calmly said.
Scootaloo stared at Nopony in concern.
"I'm gonna go get a doctor," she responded, "you should lie back down."
Nopony slowly nodded and laid back down. He slowly started rocking back and forth in the fetal position.
"Summer of piglets..."
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"Alright, I triple checked the grammar and spelling and-"
"OH COME ON!"
*blinks* Wow, Scootaloo broke Celestia's brain.
HEEEY PICKLES! How you doin'? Hehe, hiii, *nervous laughter*, say, so I was wondering how far along you were on my—
oh
o-okay
7303210
It was 3 AM and I was awake, I had to write a chapter first.
I hear noodles being slurped in the background. They sound extremely juicy.
7303221 Your face needed to write a chapter first. Banned, tried, convicted, incarcerated, executed. My uncle works at Hasbro and he's gonna hear about this and you are gonna get your ass cease-and-desisted.
Have you been watching Inside Out recently?
7303230
No, I've been reading this.
This is just amazing! Best chapter so far. You should do a spinoff from this, based entirely around the little ponies in Trollestia's head. You could even do a film on it! You could call it... oh, I dunno, Outside In or something like that.
Cheers!
oh huh, it's 5:06 am.
ok.
Fun chapter, at least, even after staying up all night on accident again
Your Celestia OS is broken, please don't try anything to repair it.
7303221
Y O U ' R E T O O L A T E , C H A M P I O N
T H E D E A D S H A L L H A V E T H E I R D A Y
img03.imgland.net/b7jFFU0.png
I R E A L L Y N E E D T O G O T O B E D
And to think I had almost decided to watch Inside Out yesterday.
After reading the title I suspected this chapter would be even shorter than "Twilight tries to trick Nopony into dating her."
I don't know what I expected...but staying awake all night before reading this...I think I heard something break in my mind.
Oh. Oh my god.
Well, this is my new favorite chapter.
The part that just about killed me was when Dignity, Pride, and Restraint were long dead.
I wanna know more about the Summer of Piglets
So the next question is how much longer will Nopony be able to keep up the charade around town now?
Once more sir another mazing chapter that had me launching through out. Which was impressive considering how the chapter starts with a question of a serious nature.
Twas amazing as always and k still think you write some.of the best comady on this site
7303469 It should be a story. Hmm...
It was an unusually cool summer evening when the Equestrians invented bacon. Torn between their altruistic nature and their intense desire for greasy meat, Equestria's ponies soon found themselves slowly driven mad.
Summer of Piglets. Excellent work, Nopony/Celestia. Truly excellent.
HOMES ARE FOR PUNY MORTAL! REALS GOD DON'T NEED THOSE SILLY DEATH TRAPS!
Love the most recent chapter. Was it based on this old comment? 6583319
Another alicorn? I get the feeling they aren't talking about Flurry.
7304134 It's Cadance
I didn't really enjoy that chapter, but I think it was worth posting just to build up to this.
Celestia's mind needs mental help.
7305784 Hmm. I actually enjoyed that. Solid 5/7. Loved it. Catchy tune.
The brain is like a machine. A smooth, meticulous, and complex machine. Made out of mud. And sticks. By monkeys.
Apathy, we're quite close. Those Apathy couldn't care less for taking charge of anything that didn't have us laying wastefully away in some unknown corner away from all the fatherless chickens wishing to live in our cardboard box. It's not about sharing, it's more the path of least resistance in utter uncaring to trivial things like taking care of orphans you never asked to care for.
Goes to show, you give a homeless chicken an inch and suddenly they think you're the new mommy. Too apathetic to care. I'm sure they'll raise themselves well enough if I Just nod and mhmm at the right moments.
7305686 Did you read my comment completely? if so, did you actually comprehend it?
...for some reason I want Sunset Shimmer to be Scootaloo's big sister that left before Scootaloo was ever born. And both parents died.
7325311
7325313
Fixed.
Possibly one of the best chapters I've seen so far! This was awesome!
7334713
Thank you, the ending bothers me too, but you're the only one who has said so otherwise.
7312256
Agreed.
Much like SSSGMAE it would be appropriately plausible level of believable and crack.
7341673 What is SSSGMAE?
7343599
I got letter wrong in the acronym, it is:
sunset-shimmer-is-mad-about-everything
7304692
Yes, yes it does...
This entire chapter was a set up for the author's note.
It was worth it.
7303280 I love HTML.
~ Chapter: 13
7303236 ep.10 tho haha
7303236 thank you for showing me that web comic
I fell off my chair, down the stairs, out the door, down the street, across the bridge, and back once I finished reading this... Is it normal for me to be able to relate to celestia for this chapter?
7397253 Likewise
I'm reading this late at night and I think I have just woken someone up with my barely-restrained giggling.
Oh god, this chapter was the best.
Based off of Inside Out? Regardless, this is a great chapter.