• Published 22nd Oct 2015
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Home is for the Weak - Pickleless



The princess of the sun and a gimp orphan sit in a cardboard box.

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No homeless stallions allowed.

Author's Note:

This takes place after Scootaloo gets a home.

Nopony and Scootaloo walked inside the recently made library.

"Hey, I heard this place was also a bookstore?" Nopony called out, not seeing a store clerk around.

"Sorry about that, How can I..." The Store Clerk came out from a back door and stopped when she saw Nopony.

"Is there a problem miss?" Nopony asked.

The Store Clerk pointed towards a poster with Nopony inside a prohabition sign.

"How did you get yourself banned from a bookstore?" Scootaloo asked.

Nopony shrugged.

"Look miss, I'm just trying to buy a new schoolbook for this kid here."

"Is she your daughter?" The store clerk raised an eyebrow.

"No."

"Niece?"

"No."

"Daughter of a friend of yours?"

"No."

"Why are you trying to buy some random child a schoolbook?"

...

"Yeah, so I would like a new 8th grade math book please." Nopony continued on.

"Really feeling the love here." Scootaloo grumbled.

"Do you want a new book or not?" Nopony retorted.

"I don't, I hate math."

"No child growing up in my household is going to skip out on how to do math."

"So she is your daughter?" The clerk once again asked.

"Not really." Nopony once again shrugged.

"Not really? How... Ugh, look, I appreciate that you're trying to make sure this child has her schoolbook, but Princess Twilight Sparkle has banned you from entering the library and her castle."

"Why is he banned from being around books and her castle?" Scootaloo asked.

"Apparently this... gentlestallion peed on books in her personal library."

"That's absolutely ridiculous," Nopony scoffed, "why would I walk into the Princess' castle and pee on her books?"

"I don't know sir, you tell me." The Clerk gave a tired sigh. "Alright, just return to me the original book in whatever condition it was in and I'll see about getting you a discount on the new one."

"Yeah, I can't really do that." Nopony said.

"Why not?" The Clerk rolled his eyes.

"Her math book got peed on by somepony."

The Clerk and Nopony stared at each other.

"Get out." The Clerk pointed towards the exit.

"Please, can we just get a new book?" Nopony rubbed his temples.

"No."

"She needs it for school."

"And I need you to leave."

"Oh well, guess we can't get the new book, whaddya gonna do?" Scootaloo shot Nopony a smug grin.


PRINCESS CELESTIA OPENS SCHOOL FOR GIFTED PEGASI IN PONYVILLE:

Many ponies question the logic behind the school opening in Ponyville instead of Cloudsdale. The Princess promptly responded that Cloudsdale already has a flight school perfectly adequate for pegasi foals. Princess Twilight Sparkle was more than thrilled to have this insitution made, and agreed with Princess Celestia's decision to hold a raffle for scholarships. The following lucky pegasi shall attend this brand new school for free: Rumble, Featherweight, Zipporwhill, Scootaloo, Cyan Skies, Babs Seed, and Dumb Luck. Despite showing an excellent curriculum for any growing pegasus foal, many questioned why it taught up to college math level. Princess Twilight Sparkle fully approved...

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