The Amusement Park and the Garbage Dump.
"Nopony! Nopony wake up!"
"Mmm?.. Scootaloo, it's 2:00 AM, what's wrong?"
"Nopony, I'm bleeding!"
"Bleeding? Where?"
"Here!"
"Oh, OH. Oh crap, I did NOT want to be here for when this started..."
"What's wrong with me?" Scootaloo sniffed.
"You're uh, you're... Ugh, let's get you cleaned up first..."
"Okay uh, Scootaloo."
"Y- yeah?"
"Your body is... well..."
Nopony closed his eyes.
"Okay, kid, I want you to imagine a town."
"Alright."
"And your body is that town."
"Uh..."
"Your head, is the library, and your mouth, is the radio tower."
"Oh! Okay, I'm getting it."
"And between your legs, is the garbage dump."
"Ew!"
"And for some reason, they decided to build the amusement park on top of the garbage dump."
Scootaloo blinked.
"What."
"Things are gonna get just a little bit confusing from here on out." Nopony gave a sheepish grin.
"Uhh-"
"So, little kids go near the amusement park, and they say 'this is dumb! Why would I go to a place covered in trash?' and all the teenager ponies think it's amazing and they take all their marefriends and coltfriends there with them."
"Why would they want to take their special someponies-"
"Shush, I'm uh, I'm getting there." Nopony averted his eyes. "Okay, so, uh, the pony who takes your money and hands out tickets says it's free to go on the rides as much as you want, and everypony loves it."
"I'm confused, why in the heck would Celestia ever make the body-"
"DON'T YOU BLAME THIS ON M- I mean uh, nopony knows why."
"You do?"
"No! I mean, ugh! Stop interrupting!"
"O- okay..."
"So all the teenagers laaaaugh and plaaaay all day long at the amusement park, and then as they're leaving, the ticket booth pony hands the couple a baby and says no refunds."
Scootaloo blinked, again.
"And that's why you don't go play on the amusement park until you're married! Any questions?"
Scootaloo frowned, deep in thought.
"So..." Scootaloo rubbed her chin with her hoof. "If the amusement park was built on top of the dump, couldn't I sneak in through the dump, play on the park, and sneak back out through the dump without a baby?"
Nopony slowly performed a double facehoof.
"Nopony, are you okay? Nopony?.."
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That... Okay. You win.
Aw come on. I already upvoted and favourited! What more can I do?!
Also, Celestia: still worst princess.
6758876 I know, right?!
Do I need to put this back into my tracking folder? Still great to see some of the other conversations that happened.
Oh thank god more chapters! Thank you!
6758952
But that is The Joker he was never a kid, that we know of.
6758877 I think you mean most entertaining princess, and I am willing to got to war with you on this. Sunbutt invites Discord to the grand galloping gala, laughs when he pokes fun at her favorite student's flying inadequacies, allows a row of trees that all dragons are allergic to to be planted IN A CITY THAT HOUSES A BABY, FIRE-F
ING-BREATHING DRAGON, and still gets the entire population to love her, adore her, and celebrate her for something the unicorns could do themselves if they all got together and tried. She's an evil mastermind, and I just can't say no to a brilliant evil chessmaster in fiction.
I'm a little messed up.
6758933 I have separate complete and incomplete folders, but I keep the completed fics folder tracking "on" for just this sort of this.
Not saying I wasn't thrown for a loop when I got the notification that there was a fic that was done and yet somehow updated again, but I was prepared.
What? Is aunt Flow invited to the park?
6758831 Hey there! Where you been?!
Also... this was so fucked up but so heartwarming... wtf! MY MIND!
6759119 Hey, I was here first! I swear. even though I didn't comment, I was here first! And then look who comes along.
Well, this one gets you one of my rarely rewarded favs.
Also, you win an internet.
Celestia: memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Double-Facepalm-Picard-01.jpg
6758876 Give him a moustache.
The double facehoof just ties everything together perfectly!
6759561
Raspberry Jam is delicious, but it doesn't make a good PB&J, and I already disliked Peanut Butter so that's clearly where the fault lay.
And that was how an
l was invented
What the fuck...
Today is the day I start drinking, I need to forget this...
Huh, I like this analogy.
.......alright then.....no Mom, I don't need the bleach.....yet.
6761157
*hides a fork and steak knife*
Concerned? Nah, nothing to worry about.
Scootaloo found the 'Secret but fun' hidden entrance to the body's amusement park.
6763090
pff-
Scootaloo should ask Celestia if Celestia could teach her how to fly.
Say, Pickle? I dunno if you know this but you can actually move chapters and insert them non-sequentially. So if you wanted to slot this into the main story where it's "supposed" to go, you could.
6759037
No, I meant...sure! Let's go with The Joker being what I meant! That's totally what I meant!
ok
6759564 Sweetie Belle is ready to sneak into the amusement park.
6959649 No way! Sweetie Belle is too young for that! Don't ruin her innocence!
well did not see a chapter on this coming.
6959649
Fancy seeing you on this story.
Celestia does sex-ed better than any teacher I've ever had
7026319 Fancy me finally replying.
And that's what we call Metaphoric Collapse.
You meant 'performed' right? I think you should use spellcheck. Also, slowly?
P.S.
I've always felt that exclaiming 'What' should be following by the use of two punctuation symbols. For example, like this: What?!
7200027 Agreed. And... ew. I really don't know who has it better.
I never thought of the birds and bees like that.
7208240 A "what" with a period is a non-plussed, unamused "what". It's the kind of "what" you say to a proclamation that is so outrageous, so nonsensical, that you phrase the "what" as an indication of absurdity rather than an actual request for clarification. You don't want an answer to the "what"; you just want to inform the person that everything they just said is completely ludicrous to the nth degree.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wat
"as they are / they're leaving"
7222538 What I don't get about the bird ant the bee is why use metaphors. Why not just give all the fact as they are?
And that's how Scootaloo became the Princess of Anal.
...I'll go sit in the corner.
7255123
People are stupid.
Happy?
7208240
7232321
Here I fixed the link for you.
Metaphorical answers are useless. When I asked where babies come from, my parents just said "you came out of your mother because dad put a seed in her" and built up from that with time.
And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
This is literally the best metaphor for Sex ever
Genuine fucking belly laugh there. Well written!
Celestia really puts the anal in analogy.