Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 3
By TDR
Selene in Ponyville
[Ponyville Library, 2 weeks after the Crystal Empire, Wednesday]
“Thanks for coming guys. Dash, Pinkie, and Shy should be on their way. I wanted every one here by three.” Twilight sat back a little in her chair, her hoof flipping the pages the book she had been reading. She placed a book mark where she had stopped with her teeth, a pair of suppressor rings on her horn keeping her spell casting nonexistent, at least for a few more days.
Across from her at the reading table in the middle of the main room sat Applejack and Rarity, both of whom had just come back from their camping trip to Winsome Falls.
Rahs as usual had fallen asleep on the couch nearby. The moon dog was still covered in a number of bandages as some of the bite wounds he received had gotten infected, though his body was fighting that off fairly well he complained about the itching quite a lot. There was also currently a raccoon curled on the small of his back sleeping. Blakeney had decided to stick around for the free food and shelter by agreeing to be Rahs' pet. Rahs didn't even really want a pet, but Fluttershy convinced him, though he still occasionally referred to his new pet as emergency rations.
Spike still had Peewee, though the phoenix chick was still in Canterlot being tended by Phillomenia until he got a little older and could fly on his own, something Spike couldn't teach.
Every so often Rahs' ears perked up at a noise, though thus far he hadn't opened his eyes, but Twilight knew he was listening and waiting like she was.
Spike was at the other end of the table counting out the bits that Rarity had forked over to him from the crusaders betting pool. The little dragon looked better, but he too was still bandaged and had one arm in a cast and sling.
The little dragon had been rather upset that he couldn't join the camping trip, but with his injuries and Twilight's, the pair had to pass.
“So what was the bet?” Twilight asked, looking at her brothers new payout with a sigh.
“Tree sap.” Rarity answered with a frown.
“And you bet against him?” Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“Tah be fair, there were three of us there counting Dash, an we each were keeping an eye on one of tha girls.” Applejack sighed. “We almost made it too, then some one had to annoy them beavers...”
“Ugh, please stop Applejack, the less said about all that the better.” Rarity shuddered. “Suffice to say tree sap is murder to get out of ones fur. Particularly white fur.”
“So did anything else interesting happen or was it as relaxing as you thought?” Twilight smiled despite herself.
“Bit of a kerfluffle with Scootaloo the first couple of nights, but spect she was just excited tah be around Rainbow Dash.” Applejack shrugged. “Not a bad trip, tha girls jumped right back into making their parade float again soon as they got back. Mac and Granny are keeping an eye on um.”
“Cool I'll have to head over and see that.” Spike offered.
“Not until you're cleared by the doctor.” Twilight retorted. “We don't need you getting hurt again.”
“How would I get hurt just going to see a float?” Spike questioned.
“Bark.” Rahs offered from the other room without moving or opening his eyes, though his ears were perked up and focused on Spike.
“Seriously they are not that bad.” Spike protested.
“I agree with him, they may not mean too, but those girls are disaster magnets. And if they did something dangerous you'd do what you could to get them out of it and get yourself hurt in the process.” Twilight frowned.
“Changing the subject a little,have you heard from Shining Armor?”Rarity questioned.” About Cadence?”
Twilight rubbed her temples with her fore hooves. “Princess Celestia said she finally crashed two days ago. She also said that probably every female of every species within miles of the empire was probably going to be expecting soon. She hearkened it back to the first Hearts and Hooves day event.”
“Starting to think we got outta there in time.” Applejack frowned.
“Quickly changing the subject again.” Rarity stated flatly. “ Why did you want us all here before three?”
“Well when we got back from the Crystal Empire, we had a visitor in the library.”Twilight rolled her eyes as Rahs growled.
“Skiddi doot skiddi doot”
[One week after the Crystal Empire, Ponyville library, Monday]
“Ugh I'm gonna sleep for a week.” Twilight groaned shoving the door to the library open. The mare looking much worse for wear and having a number of inhibitor rings on her horn, she also carried a number of bags on her back.” Spike if you could can you check see if anything spoiled while we were gone, we'll go shopping tomorrow..... wait no it's Monday, the day after tomorrow.”
“Right, your poor wounded younger brother will certainly fall back to menial work against the doctors orders....” Spike snarked as he walked in carrying nothing.
“By the stars Spike, I'm not asking you to reorganize the entire library, or even cook, just see if anything's spoiled while we were gone.”Twilight grumbled.
“Oh, I'm gonna still be cooking. Rahs barely makes anything passable and you set fire to the kitchen trying to make toast.” Spike snarked.
“I did no such thing, I may not be the best cook, but I can cook.” Twilight snapped.
“Sandwiches and cold cereal don't count.” Spike continued .
“Bork!” Rahs stated as he headed, in pulling a luggage trolley behind him. The station manager hadn't wanted to let him take it from the train station yard, but the Sparkles were already in full irritable snippy mode when they got off the train with the other Element's of Harmony. No one wanted to poke the landmine, so they were simply reminded to bring it back, from a relatively safe distance.
Twilight whirled glaring up at her brother.”I did not catch the milk on fire last time I made oat flakes!”
“Did I come at a bad time?” a mares voice asked from further in the library.
The trio whirled about looking towards table in the main room of the library.
Sitting at the table was a tall black carapaced green maned changeling. She had a little crown on her head and was idly flipping through a book called 'To serve pony'.
It was a cook book.
Part one of three in fact.
“YOU!” Twilight snarled at Chrysalis who did little more than jot down one of the recipes on a bit of parchment she had.
“Yes?” Chrysalis asked finally looking up at them curiously. “What in Tartarus happened to you three?”
“What are you doing here!?” Spike demanded.
“This is a public library...... and I'm here during normal hours.” Chrysalis pointed out.
“You should be in jail. You're Equestria's most wanted!” Twilight snapped.
“I thought that was the Serial Grapeist?” Chrysalis questioned.
“Nah they caught her and she's being forced to pay for the treatments for all the ponies coats she turned purple.” Spike added.
“Why are you here?” Twilight snapped.
“Well to start with I was looking for a recipe for steamed broccoli that didn't make it taste like ass, and I don't mean a donkey. They taste awesome, they're so angry and cranky all the time that when they do love something it's super sweet....” Chrysalis drooled a little.
“You.... why.... “ Twilight stammered.
“Anyway Sparkle I'm mostly here to talk and see if you could get a message to Princess Luna and Cady for me.” Chrysalis shrugged.”Going through normal channels would likely be bad. But I also don't expect you to trust me any so I figured I needed to explain things for a bit first.
“Today is not a good day.”
Chrysalis blinked in surprise at the voice. “I would like to get it done soon.... perhaps tomorrow....”
“NO!” Spike snapped. “ Nothing on a Tuesday.....”
The changeling queen blinked in surprise again.” Alright when would be the best time for a conversation?”
“A fortnight.” Spike stated thinking of all the things they still had to do and by then Twilight would have the suppressors off and be cleared.
“Can't really wait that long, my vacation ends next Friday” Chrysalis shrugged.
“Fine next week, Wednesday at three pm.” Twilight growled.
“That works” Chrysalis stood up walking towards the trio and the door. “Well I suppose I will be off, until then Sparkles, do me a favor and don't invite sun butt. Quickest way to get a town leveled is to let her think I'm hiding there. I wouldn't even show up to tell you anything and it would still happen. Just 'boom' orbital bombardment from the sun. No survivors, so much screaming and burning...”
“Chrysalis.” Twilight growled.
“Right leaving now.”
The siblings moved out of the way as Chrysalis slapped a big bushy fake mustache on her face that looked like she had stolen it from Celestia's tail before she strode out into the street, walking down the road without any pony so much as glancing at her.
After all who would believe their own eyes that Equestria's most wanted was walking about in the open with a fake mustache, that was just silly and not something they needed to pay attention to.
“Skiddi doot skiddi doot”
[ Back to the present, part 2..... you know the good one, before that stupid old west thing.]
“Chrysalis is coming here?” Rarity gasped. “Why haven't you notified the guard!?”
“Ah agree, after what she pulled tha only place she needs tah be is a jail cell.”Applejack nodded.
“While I agree, I also can't do that.” Twilight sighed.
“What? Why?” Rarity demanded.
“Because we don't know what her real plan was in Canterlot. Not to mention Cadence still seems to like her.” Spike pointed out. “She stopped Luna from sending out a hit team after all.”
“She's a god ain't she? Would a hit team have even done anything?” Applejack questioned.
“No clue, but she came here not in a disguise for some reason and I want to know why.” Twilight grumbled.
“Well.... “ Applejack began before she was cut off by the front door opening. Pinkie Pie pronked in followed by Fluttershy and a complaining Rainbow Dash.
“Seriously, I leave for a week and she gives Thunderlane my spot as storm breaker. I'd have the sky cleared by now, but he's still out there struggling with the cumulonimbus. Like seriously just break it up or put it over the Everfree stop playing with it, it's not your dick.” Rainbow Dash ranted.
“I thought you wanted more time off Dashie.” Pinkie Pie questioned.
“I do, but not because some one else took my job.” Dash rolled her eyes.
“Won't Prince help you if you get too far behind in bills?”Fluttershy asked.
“I'm not asking him for money. Geez, I'm dating him cause he's pretty cool not cause he's rich, that's more Rarity's thing.” Dash fumed as she walked up to the others.
“Rude...” Rarity snapped only for Dash to stick her tongue out at the white mare.
“Hey Twilight what's going on?” Pinkie Pie asked.”Is this about all those letters we're getting from the Crystal Empire? It's like the Element of Harmony zerg love rush part two. Kee kee kee...”
“What?”Twilight asked looking at Pinkie Pie before shaking her head.” No, it's not that...”
Rahs grumbled loudly and Blakeney lifted his head up to chitter angrily along with the moon dog.
This drew Fluttershy's attention and she immediately went over to talk to the raccoon.
“So he didn't get any letters again?” Pinkie Pie questioned at hearing Rahs' grumbling.
[ ?]
“ BY MY MOTHERS HARD PLATED ASS, WHAT THE BUCK!?!?!” Saturnia screamed as another cartload of love letters from the Crystal Empire addressed to Rahs was dumped into the room. Seems despite the fear of witch wolves, Rahs had made a very positive reaction among the females, and a number of males, in the empire.
Princess Cadence probably helped with that.
“No and even Spike got a ton of them again. I'm starting to think something screwy is going on with our mail.” Twilight admitted. “ But no, I called you all here because Chrysalis is coming by at three.”
“Wait, the evil queen bug?” Pinkie Pie growled.
“Calm down, she wants to talk. “ Twilight sighed.” She came here undisguised and wanted to have a word with me. I figured I would get all of you together in case we needed to use the Elements and blast her. But if she wants to talk, I want answers.”
“Well I guess.” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Still rather knock her upside her head a few times.”
“You and me both, but as Princess Celestia taught, we're going to try diplomacy first.” Twilight offered.
“Which is pretty weird given Princess Celestia wants her dead.” Applejack offered.
“Has any one else noticed we seem to be rather dismissive of some of these threats we face?” Rarity considered. “ We really should at least have Princess Luna and Princess Cadence here. Princess Celestia was the only one you said she didn't want.”
“Given how things went for us in the Empire compared to what Chrysalis did, I can't even bring myself to consider her an actual threat. From what you guys told me she has no interest in doing anything to us given we hold the Elements of Harmony and are the front line against other things. If she wanted to she could have taken out just one of us and that would have been it. She had Cadence and Shining at her mercy as well as all of you and she barely did anything but keep you occupied.”
“Plus I wanna know what other plans happened during the wedding. I have ten bits riding on more than just attacking Celestia and trying to woo Cadence.” Spike added.
BONG!!!!!
“GAH!!!” the collective group, minus Pinkie Pie screamed out.
BONG!!!!
“What the heck is that!?” Spike screamed out.
“BONG!!!!!
“New Ponyville bell tower.” Pinkie Pie stated.
“Where did they even get that thing?” Rarity whined watching as Rahs picked himself up off the floor from where he had fallen at the first overly loud bell gong, the raccoon on the floor cursing up a storm.
“Sent away.” Pinkie Pie shrugged.
“Why is it so loud?” Spike grumbled. “And why was this the first time I heard it?”
“Dramatic tension.” Pinkie Pie shrugged.
Rahs pondered that for a moment, then gave Pinkie a thumbs up.
“If it does that again I'm melting the bell.” Twilight growled. “ And the tower, and maybe whoever thought it was a good idea.”
“Doesn't that mean it's three o clock?” Fluttershy asked. “When Chrysalis should be here?”
The front door was shoved open with a thud showing a black carapaced changeling queen looming there as a bolt of lightning arced through the sky right behind her with a booming crack of thunder that shook the library with it's nearness.
The effect might have been overly dramatic or even terrifying to witness, if the changeling queen hadn't screamed like a filly at the boom, and dove through the door, crashing down behind the book check out counter.
The Sparkles and Bearers watched as she shoved herself back up to her hooves and stormed over to the door screaming up at the sky.
“HEY, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M WALKING HERE!!!!” Chrysalis screamed at a black furred stallion messing with the clouds far above.
“Sorry.” Thunderlane called back from the sky.
“See the guys an idiot.” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
This is some gourmet shit right here.
9716689
more that it nearly hit her
Dangit Discord, was the show up north not enough for you?
someone should really make a tv tropes page for this verse (mostly so I don’t have to keep asking about the little things I keep forgetting about, like what the deal is with that racoon and where did he come from?)
9716777
He was rescued by Rahs during the PETA arc. he was named Blakeney as this is the real name of the Scarlet Pimpernickle.
I though that the name was "To serve man" and even then I'm pretty sure it was only a single edition thing but then again, it HAS been a while I saw that episode
9716896
it is but this was stranger and still funny to me
There is a family of Raccoons that live under my parents place (mom feeds them......mmm corn fed raccoon steaks )
They are now the Trash Panda family. It took my mom like 5 minutes to get the joke.
Pulls out a large sledge hammer * Discord get back in your statue and stop causing shenanigans or I'm breaking it
9716726
No.
9716689
I think it was more of a startle.
Seems this Ponyville take betting business very seriously.
I think spike has become a bit of a illegal gambling boss
I'm loving this Chrysalis. I hope she and the bearers become friends and her ancient feud with Celestia becomes a recurring background thing that no one cares about but make bets on all the same
I wonder if Saturnia's interest in Rahs will come up.
9717227
True.
Yay, Chrysalis is back! And I'm glad that the Bearers have realized that she really wasn't trying to really do anything to them aside from keep them busy back at the wedding. I am really liking this version of Chrysalis. She's smarter than her baseline counterpart by a good margin, and seems to embrace the goofiness of their world. While Pinkie still seems to be angry over her children scaring Fluttershy before the wedding, I am getting the feeling that she might come to like Chrysalis once she manages to forgive her.
Also....goddess or not, being zapped by lightning is likely not a pleasant experience.
9717261
I expect it probably will, if only to watch the Sparkles (and Saturnia when she finds out) squirm....though Rahs may actually appreciate that she's been blocking the constant love letters he's been getting from Cloudsdale and now the Crystal Empire after he finishes being irritated about her screwing with his mail.
The usual shenanigans, with an extra dose of divine intervention
Yeah, but the librarians where out so the place should be closed
Look at em survival instincts
It's a bit like an angry letter
Those were her main motivators though
I am Rahs in this scene
I can't say I like this Chrysalis. Even if she is smarter more rational than the canon, other parts make her intolerable. For one the undeserved superiority she seems to hold, as if she's totally right and blameless, and her plans are perfect. The fact she invaded out of spite to ruin her former friend's wedding says she's plain terrible, for one. Despite being revealed and defeated, she is apparently totally successful (which makes no sense). She got no food or prisoners, and acted in a manner that made her look like an asshole. She goes and tries to take over equestra and ruin a wedding, fails, and somehow that is a successful master plan that makes her a "good guy", is what the invasion arc seems to say to me. Her saying "I don't want to harm the EoH because they are a safeguard." doesn't seem like a reason for her to be trusted, but it looks like the direction this is going is for her to have everyone say they're going to get aling with her and she's in the right, despite her having no real desire to NOT be friends or antagonistic. Plus likely condoning Saturnia enthralling Rahs to be her slave and calling it "love", even if it is all just for her benefit.
Also given the justification of the god of gryphons getting beaten to a pulp I have to wonder why Forthe is even a thing. If being godly and stronger than someone else is in and of itself valid reason, why is all that happened with Luna and Moon Dogs ever considered bad? If she is stronger it would be a good thing, right? Because the dogs were terrible and she was stronger, so killing Forthe and stealing the dogs to transform into her own race makes her the good guy, right? Under that reasoning Forthe should just submit and die.
9716778
That's what he was? Really it feels like Blakeney just popped up out of nowhere, not much is really present to connect that name to the raccoon from before.
Well, I can like this bug queen more then any other. She's not starving her people to hold power.
lol nice
I really want to see Saturnia finding out that stopping those letters is pointless due to the fact 99.9 percent of ponies smell like food to Rahs, thus causing him to have zero interest in them
Guys, I just had the most terrifying thought.
Twilight Sparkle, Goddess of Tuesdays.
9719479
........ I had not considered that.
9719708
Queue frantic rewrites of your story outline?
9720064
Not quite... it does give me ideas though. i wasn't sure i was even going to have alicorn twi any way.
9720129
alicorn twilight goddess of disaster, or she might very well steal discord’s profile as the god of chaos right out from under him
9722889
I think it would of been funny if he had bounced off the moon before landing there.
I have always liked the versions of Chrysalis that are antagonistic towards celestia but are not actually bad they always seem to come out as funny characters (also there is a fimfic where discord inverts Chrysalis's personality and it's also pretty funny warning the fic includes: lung crushing bug hugs, bunny fight(don't talk about bunny fight) and a tea drinking Chrysalis
Alright, epic season opener done, what's next!
Well, this one should be interesting....
At least unless she gets pissed enough to just fry the damn things.
Okay, so another recap one? Could have had Spike tag along and drag Twilight..... though trying to get Twilight to go camping...... yeah, harder then Rarity.
D'awwwww, yay Trash Panda sticking around!
Alright, yeah broken arm is another good reason for not going.
Spike....... The CMC could find away to create life threatening injuries while being pillow tester.
Well....to be fair, after all they've gone through, and how badly Sombra fucked everything over, they could probably use a population boom.
Took far too long to register that was Discord doing the 'flashback sound effect,.
And yet, they are both still better cooks then Sweetie Belle.
At least if you've read A Delicate Balance, it's an Twijack fic (Really well done, especially if you aren't the type who like ship-fics), it starts with Twilight freaking out over realizing she's developing feelings for AJ, and one of her plans to try and get AJ to notice this is asking for her help in learning how to cook.... and asking AJ to teach her how to make a sandwich.
Rule of Surviving in Ponyville number 2: Just let the Sparkles do what ever they want, especially if one of them is in a bad mood.
Chryssi!? Da hell?
Cook Book..... well okay then.
Hence, Kevin!
And not accurate, Rarity looks more at the social standing then the money.
also, odd RD is having the job issues given the implication has always been she's the one in charge of the Ponyville Weather Patrol. If not the only full time member.
PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!! Poor Rahs.........
Well, you aren't wrong about just how OP you guys are.
Epic set up and payoff with the cloud joke, best entrance ever!
So, time for Chrysi to try and make her case......
9773277
In this story RBD is team lead, but Fireball is the manager
9773800
Also RD gets called away frequently, usually with very little notice. Sure, she is highly competent when she is available, and it is not generally her fault when she is unavailable, but she is nowhere near a model employee.
"Selene is the Greek god of the moon."
I'm sorry to burst your bubble, particularly as this is the first time I've noticed this after rereading your story a few times, but Selene is the Gaelic or Celtic goddess of the moon while it's Apollo's twin sister Artemis for Greek mythology. Sorry to be picky but this is something I'm really passionate about.
10012778
There was a greek moon god before artemis
https://youtu.be/KL6o6glC6Fg
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.greekmythology.com/Titans/Selene/selene.html.amp
10083538
Well titan is more like it.
That end... Love your ideas and creative turn combined with humor.
Thunderlane a foal in Heart & spirit...
Damn... Chrysalis dramaticly timed entry was ruined
Chrysalis is a lot more reasonable and practical than Celestia...
Spike has some good points... He deserves a raise...
Shut up, you uncultured schwiendhund
I feel that Chrysalis would be a better ruler, after all her Changeling need everyone truly happy and safe to feed her subjects.
11319490
Schweinehund
Schweine-Pig , Hund-Dog