That is one bucking HUGE first chapter...

1882548 Yep... and its only the start of something bigger

1882581 No offense, but I need to muster up the courage to read the first chapter. It'll take time, but I'm curious. I dunno what to do!

Great chapter, as always :3

Pull off a RagingSemi and write a 40,000 word chapter.

Umm, I'll get to this, eventually. If only FimFic had bookmarks so I could find where I was in the chapter.

1882793 That might come later near the end of this epic tale

Definitely going to read this whenever I get the chance. Probably going to take me a day, or two, but I'm most certainly looking forward to it! Putting this in my read later!

cant wait but once a month? ill be 23 before you have 12 chapters

1883020 Well, please let me know what you think when you get to it.

1883074 I most certainly will

1883048 I might speed up releases. But it depends on how fast I can get it all written
You might be lucky and get a chapter update around your birthday then.

1883087 yea doubt that ill be 23 dec 19th

1882581

It only took me about a half an hour to readvwhen you first posted on deviantART

1883488 on DArt only the fist 1/3 of the chapter is currently up. If you want to read the rest now, its only on here as of yet.
I will upload the rest there soonish, but the reson for that is that I can only fit about 8k words per submission on that site.

1883497no wonder it took me a short amount of time

1883508 eeyup. Enjoy. And if you do read it here, please let me know what you think.

1883519i just started where i ended on DeviantART

I guess you’ve had a just nightmare and need somepony twenty percent cooler for support, right?

really...
Shut up and go away, I'm reading this story not you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR
HAPPY NEW YEAR
HAPPY NEW YEAR
HAPPY NEW YEAR
now back to reading.

1884177 Why thank you. I do hope you continue to enjoy the epic chapter.

1884206It was an epic chapter and WHAT A WAY to start the new year. I thought the story was going to be messed up when they both bought lingerie but you don't dissapoint

I apologize for the comment made by.... the yellow text. She isn't even supposed to come out in comments anymore because the admins consider that role playing and that is against the comment rules... so yea.

!!! I just remembered that this is only the first chapter... I love it when I finish a great story and discover there is more to come.

1884255 um... this is only the small start to the story. Im well above 100k words at the moment and its not a third of the way though.

1884236 That will come into play next chapter... As per the tags I guess.... but it won't be extreme or anything. There is a reason for everything in this epic story as there is much to tell.

1884265I meant messed up as in awkward or confusing... not sexual. I read and understood the tags before even clicking on the first chapter.

I like it.

Although its kind of weird that they constantly make out with each other, in public even, yet deny being in love.

1883892 How odd, I could have sworn I fixed those. xD Oopsie.

Yeah, the Christmas bits were my fault. XDD You may pelt me with goop.

Applejacks got the right idea

Great story, I really enjoyed it so far

Nice beginning. You have my attention, please continue.

1886514 1885624 Thanks guys. I hope I have you looking forward to the next large chapter then

Great story so far! You've earned yourself a like AND a favorite!

1890300 Yay! Thank you.

You may want to break this into about 3-5 littler chapters. The reason you have so few views and comments is because 25,000 words is bucking DAUNTING. Not to toot my own horn, but with a following of 2400 watchers I can tell you most readers tolerate between 3,000 and 6,000 words in a chapter. Unless you are a seldom-updating novel writer like Municiple Engines and his "Night's Favored Child" masterpiece.

Break it down, it doesn't hurt anything i promise.

1901165 I know. You advice is considered.
But it was written this way, structured this way, and all I'm happy to leave it big and epic as the overall story is going to be over 300k words.

As you can probably see, I have no where near your number of followers. But thats okay.

Good start so far! Perhaps I'm being biased, but as of right now my favorite part was the first section dealing with the griffons (probably because I expected all the fluffy stuff that came after). And if you two ever decide you need an extra proofreader feel free to ask and I'll grind out those few remaining errors that manage to sneak through. I wish I made note of where, but 'enquiring' was used instead of 'inquiring' and a 'pnoy' got by as well.

But seriously, the adventure aspect at the beginning has me intrigued the most.

Finally got it read.

Is it bad that the only thing that stuck with me to the end was "No buts!"

He he he... butts...

1902517 As long as you enjoyed it, I notice that you couldn't resist putting up a pinkie with her moustache...

1901958 well then... look for more adventuring as the story goes on then its sure to only pick up as things get more heated. I should be okay for proofreading. I just need more time to do it. Next chapter I should have that time. But thanks for your offer. I will keep that in mind.

1906230 I have no idea what you're talking about...

it seems like the unwrapping of the gifts and mistletoe and going outside into the snow was a part of one of your other stories...

i pictured fluttershy wearing the lingerie that SHE bought under the fancy dress and still looked shocked when opening RD's present to her... then they can return one and go get another set together as a couple... and that's ALWAYS fun (in real life) and gets the mood even more intensified... =)

1926201 and you'll find out next chapter.
but nice idea on Fluttershy.

After finishing my fanfic, I could finally sit down, and read this one! And I do say that it was awesome, amazing, feely, lovey, beautiful, sweet, and just plain adorable! I feel as if all this cuteness is going to come to a rather harsh end though, which is not going to make my heart feel these feels I'm feeling anymore But I feel.....(I'm saying feel too much xD) ....But I feel that this is going to turn into quite the story! It already is for that matter

1967812 guess what..? This is just the tip of the iceberg...
theres a lot of wild adventures to be had yet. I just need to find the time to sit down with it all

1968007 Well I can't wait for more! It was great! I wish you luck on future chapters!

Finally I've read it!

well I really enjoyed that, The first part tells me I'm in for quite a stroy later on
The romance is great, filled with much heart warmth and cuteness but not too cliche. I'm hoping for the adventure part to make a good impact on the story.

The tradegy tag and cover image might be a giveaway for something
still great flutterdash story looking forward to reading more eventually

here's a for you

2108001 Well the next chapter is about ready now and its a tiny bit longer than the first

and Don't worry... All the tags will come into into play here. I have big plans...

I started to read this, thinking it wouldn't be as good as some of the flutterdash fics I have read. But, for one who still needs to read the other chapters, I LOVED it! Honestly, you are amazing!

Okay, time to give a more accurate opinion. I like how the conflict is started. It seems pretty solid and valid. The Gryphons here seemed to not only have grown jealous and hateful but question the system which Equestria is built on. So, I can see why they would later be the opposing side.

The characters seem to be quite well-defined and such. I half expected filly Rainbow Dash to be a little embarrassed by the sudden affections but I guess she's too proud of herself.

I really liked this chapter. It's a good start to an epic story. There's just two little mistakes I caught while reading.

before she replied, “yes. Forever.”

*Yes

And if our mission doesn't go to plan, I will loose my seat at the council of elders.”

*lose